HIGHACKES COLLEGIAN SANTA MYTH EXPOSED J ohn Bodnar The legend of Santa Claus tends to throw a shadow of doubt on the fact that human beings become more intelligent as they grow older, for here we have an example of a supposedly immature child duping a supposedly very mature adult with what is probably the greatest con-game ever devised* For example, let us look in on a secne between an average father and a son, who is fist* -yeas# old;. J*et two weeks bef ore Christmas# The boy is lying on the floor of the lining Trri te a let room casually leafing through a copy of Then the : Mis- Dante's Infemoj the father is deeply eng- in a ery P emi<a+ . , qR w id»- rossed in theTatest issue of Mad, Pretty taking Timmy's looks oi disgusu as soon the father lays down his magazine and eyed looks of f ySj T ll "Si d ° y ° U fro “ Ihe SiefthrStfce lrttokj and V ' Sanuy Claus this yea jf Timmy that the air currents would carry The boy does not answer* Bobby is upstairs?up the chimney where Sant pi-k 1 the boy lying on the floor is Timmy* up. Timmy looked at the narrow tom . * 3 B piece of pipe running from the stove •' l t t-Uh. I mean, uh, Timmy! What do you want the wall and thought, "vsho's he from Santy Claus this Christmas?” says the didn't even open the damper,, -1> 1 - father, ejecting himsetf . as well go ## ** ** ** ** X# ## ## ** ** Timmy thinks to himself,"This proves it. Parents are definitely on a sub intelligent level compared to their off spring, "but he says,"Gee Daddy, I don t know yet 0 "‘ "Aw C'mon, must be some little thing you want, huh Timmy?" Timmy, thinking again, "Four years of college and he speaks as though he must have gone to a State Teachers College# Then he speaks, "But, gee, Daddy, I really-didoH think of anything yet." and thinkf again. "I might as well make the touch for the trains now? Dad's wan ted them for three years now." "Try to think of something, Timmy* Then me and you'll write a letter to Santa tonight#" "What grammar!" "Now you know Santa will bring you any- December 13? 1957 "Sucker!" Thinks Timmy and says, "Maybe could ask for something that I covlt play with in the housed "Like a train?" "Yea h" said Timmy thinking •'! him long to catch that hintr/' "C'mon then you n» me will co \ : letter toSanta, and then wo'll ;o ; - the chimney so that he can pick it Uo "I hope he doesn't go around tolling eve yone he's my Father," thinks Timmyo COLLEGIAN STAFF Editor-in-Chief Tom. Maxwell Assistant Ed e Fred Steckert Associate Ed. —— Stan Zdep Art Editor John Cappello Beprrterey —-J* Bodnar, Stan Zdep, Olga Markus.;, Frances Werpshaw, ' illicim Reilly, John Maggdo, &."Laddi" Dick Typists Lombardo Faculty Advisor—Mr* Andrew Kafka Esq« ## -JHf ## ¥c% «■* *# ## *»* fr* HIGHACRES LITIRART 'L~? '".O r JE Don't forget to join the Highacres Literary Society* See Mrs® Sappe ** m ## ## ## ** ## *# a* ■Gene TihansAj & Cnr^e
Significant historical Pennsylvania newspapers