By KRIS AUMIUER Film Reviewer KRASOIB@PSU.EDU Well, it’s that time of the year again. Most people are getting back into the swing of things, Matt Carroll is enjoying another year of his retirement, and freshmen are heard sprinting through the halls when they are late for class. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, it is fall in sunny Middletown, Pennsylvania. And, if you are a husky 225 pounds like I am, it is been an extraordinarily hot start to fall. So, why not head out to the closest, highly air conditioned movie theatre and catch a movie? This year there will be a new touch. Last spring, I got some bad reviews on my “DVD that nobody saw.” Therefore this year, much to motivation by my girlfriend and common sense, there will be a “Date Movie” as the third movie. Sound like a good idea? If not, you can contact me at the e-mail address above or my personal secretary, Matthew Sarver at mdssol l@psu. edu. For all you transfers and freshmen out there, movies are rated on a 5- point scale, which I visualize with baseballs. Russell Crowe, Christian Bale, 1 Hour. 57 Mir- Jnutes With Russell Crowe and Christian Bale headlining, how could this movie go wrong? Wh at guy doesn’t have secret man-love for one of the j-f Bot TJtaviny X G V M G X G X V 3 X c D 0 X D A rp two (I just happen to have both.. .I’ve said too much)? This re-made western is about a legendary outlaw named Ben Wade (Crowe). He makes his name by robbing stagecoaches and killing all the witnesses a.k.a. passengers. Unfortunately, while attempting to rob an armed stagecoach for the railroad, he “slips up” and kills all but one man, Byron McElroy (Peter Fonda), who shoots Wade in the stomach. A broke rancher Dan Evans (Christian Bale) is riding with his two sons, finds McElroy, and take him to a hospital in Bisbee, Arizona. Wade is in town and the sheriff takes him without a fight. The railroad asks for volunteers to make a three-day trip to put Wade on the 3:10 train to Yuma and escort him to the scene of his hanging. Evans, needing the money, agrees to go on the understanding that he will be paid $2OO. Not only that, but Evans sees this as an opportunity to “impress” his sons. The only problem is that Wade’s partner in crime, Charlie Prince (Ben Foster), knows what happened and where he will be tried and will follow the posse until they can liberate Wade. I cannot say anymore or you will not go see it; I almost said too much already. The movie is fantastic in every way. The two leads are exceptional. Crowe exudes badness, coolness and brilliance as the legendary outlaw. Watching his psychological games with his captors is creepy, humorous and at times, downright frightening. He is the kind of bad guy that you want to win during the movie, except when he is up against Batman, ah, I mean Christian Bale. Bale captures the desperation . his country and politicians. He is possessed by character. Not too mention, theses guys are pretty damn good cowboys for not being bom in K J c c A D T E B A L B M T R I J K N S J c J J DIC K A Z J M G J Q 7 R 0 ? I Q T L G T Z Y A I L ? 4% A F E 1 s s X H America (Crowe, Australia, Bale, England). Ben Foster highlights a just as good supporting cast. When I looked at the cast list before I went to the movie (because 1 have that kind of time), I thought he would ruin the movie. He was golden. RATING All 5 Balls. Best Western I have ever seen. Two of my favorite actors in the same movie and they killed it. Definitely made it into my Top 5 I’ve seen this year. MR. WOODCOCK JSeann William Scott, Billy Bob Thornton , l Hour, 27 Minutes This movie had so much promise The perfect character that everyone can identify with: the gym teacher from hell. Billy Bob was playing his asshole character that I personally adore. The character that made me chuckle in Bad Santa. Bad News Bears, and barely accomplishes that in School for Scoundrels. He did though, a few times. Please make notice of the keyword “feW.” If you watched the preview to Mr. Woodcock, you saw eveiy joke in the film. Even though I ruined it for you fly II c 0 u c Q already, I still have a synopsis to do. John Farley (Seann William Scott) was the fat kid in junior high. Mr. Woodcock (Billy Bob Thornton) was the Satanist gym teacher that made his life a living hell. He humiliates, insults, verbally berates, and throws balls at students. Also, 4 he forces them to run laps and do push-ups as punishment, even those with asthma. He saves his special vindictiveness for Farley, whom he delights in abusing, mentally and physically. He throws him to the ground repeatedly while teaching wrestling moves, and even forces him to undress and do pull-ups in front of the other students. Now, if something like this were actually happening, one would think someone would have mentioned it to someone. But, I guess not. Through all of this, Farley perseveres. He uses all of his memories of Woodcock to write a series of self-help books to help people get past their problems. For his latest book, “Letting Go: How to Get Past Your Past” he is receiving the Com County Key honor in his local hometown in Nebraska, at the same time that Woodcock is receiving educator of the year. When he goes home, he finds out that his mom is going to marry Woodcock. Obviously, Farley has to show his mom that he is the anti-Christ and “save” his mom. He challenges Woodcock to a workout contest, some carnival games, and a corn- eating contest. None of which had much comedic bearing at all. Like I said before, the preview is funnier than the movie. That is where all of the punch lines are and where they will stay. This movie had so much potential. It could have been so much better. They could have had a plotline where it made it seem like Woodcock was charming to everyone else but nasty to Farley on the side, but he is just kind of a dick Salmon Beta Trout Bass Koi Goldfish Swordfish Tuna Catfish Angel Guppie Tropical Halibut Pirana Flounder Striper Sunfish Cod Sailfish THE CAPITAL TIMES ITS to everyone. The movie just is not that funny and is a waste of an $8 movie ticket and a $5O trip in gas to go see it. RATING I/2 a ball (if that exists). I could’ve given it a zero. BUT I will give it ‘/2 because I got to watch Billy Bob belittle children. Scarlett Johansson, Laura Linney, 1 Hour, 45 Minutes Finally, we come to the inaugural date movie. Everyone that I ran this idea by thought that this was just for the guys to find out what movie to take their girlfriend to, and if that is what you were thinking, you were 100% correct. With that said, that does not mean girls should just bum the paper and come hunt me down after this sentence. Feel free to read the rest of the review. Annie Braddock (Scarlett Johansson) just graduated from college and is looking for a job. She has a degree in anthropology, but her mom is pushing her to do something in finance in order to make lots of money. The only problem is that she has no idea what she wants to do with her life. While sitting in I 1 3 1 I 4I " _5 6 2 7 5 6 9 3 2 _9 8 3 7 5 _9 _4 1 7 2 6 TO SOLVE: Each row, column and 3x3 block must containt the numbers lto 9 without any duplicates D I A"“R I E S (ji H °/oA Oof*,t*y*ht ‘j 5 vfitiei. October 1, 2007 the park one day, she saves a little boy from getting injured. When her mother, Mrs. X (Laura Linney), comes running to thank her, she mistakes Annie introducing herself by saying that she is a nanny. After an interview, Annie sees how good of a job this could be for her for a summer until she figures out what she wants to do with her life. She accepts the job without meeting the child for a second time. What she does not realize is that her job requires near impossible standards. The family is an overly wealthy/5 ,h Avenue dwelling family that has outrageous rules. Such as the child, Grayer (who is six), must practice French so it may help him get accepted into a pre-college program. He cannot eat foods like peanut butter and jelly because they have high-fructose com syrup in them; the list goes on. At first, he is an absolute hellion. He doesn’t listen to anything and only tries to get Annie in trouble, After a while, Annie becomes the only constant in his life and the two become very attached. While his slh5 lh Avenue parents ignore him, Grayer makes Annie his “mom.” I agreed to this movie partially because I have a crush on Scarlett Johansson. However, it was not that bad. Chris Evans (Fantastic Four) stops by as Annie’s love interest and there were actually a few jokes I could laugh at. For me, that is what makes a good date movie. If it can keep the guy’s interest, and can get him to laugh, it makes it up the scale. RATING 3 out of 5 balls. Not bad at all. Let’s face it; I have seen much, much ©®@@©
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