Trouserless columnist rates the big ten Michael Stone Capital Times Staff Sincerest greetings and salutations, oh eager PSH students. The summer is over. I hope your summer was filled with three months of enjoyment. When I wasn't riding Dorney Park's Hercules roller coaster or following Squeeze on tour, I spent the bulk of my summer working for a movie theater wearing an ill-fitting polyester vest, braving the 110-degree heat of a tempermemal projection booth, and going insane as hundreds of screaming brats rushed to see "Honey, I Blew Up The Kid" for the third time. I would have loved to go to Maine, Cape Cod, or North Carolina (like everyone else seemed to this year), but I chose to visit the Pennsylvania Renaissance Faire. I have two words for you: Joust Party. It was quite enjoyable, including the thunderstorm that went on for two hours immediately after I had just paid $l5 to pay $5 for a sandwich. I also had the pleasure of catching up on the TV I had missed last semester when I was "studying." Murphy Brown threw Dan Quayle into a torment; Bruce Springsteen's new video was on ALL 57 channels; women were continually harassed•by those damn yeast No middle ground in reproductive choice Lisa Malask Capital Times Staff Politicians are mudslinging. Election time is nearing, and soon we will be choosing our leaders. Although the pro life and pro-choice issues are constantly discussed and debated through various media, I feel it is imperative to explore this issue once again before we vote. Wake up! Roe vs. Wade was passed long ago. Why should the progress women have made be squelched? Why should we regress? I am disgusted by politicians who have so little regard for women's rights. I am even more appalled by the cynical. self serving, and many times hypocritical pro life fanatics. Hypocritical...what do I mean by hypocritical? The people in the pro-life movement pride themselves on being caring, sometimes religious, non-violent folks who have the utmost respect for human life. Hogwash! Ask yourself these questions: Do compassionate people brainwash their young children into carrying picket signs during protests? Is it moral to use children as fighting tools? Is it humane to bomb abortion clinics? Is it proper and just to block the doors of these PERONM 1992 FOOTBALL SCHEDULE Sept 5 at Cincinnati Sept. 12 TEMPLE Sept 19 E. MORGAN * Sept. 26 MARYLAND Oct. 3 vs Rutgers Giants Stedkwn Oct. 10 MAM (Florida) Oct. 17 BOSTON COLLEGE " Oct. 24 at West Virginia Oct. 31 at Brigham Young Nov. 14 at Notre Dame Nov. 21 PITTSBURGH ADOPTION Happy young couple living on the coast in San Diego, Cal. would love to adopt a baby. Will pay legal and medical expenses. Call collect 619/632-1488 infections; Suzanne Summers--the Thigh Master--enough said; Carson bid adieu after 30 years; Dennis Miller, king of the subreference, bit the dust after seven months, falling victim to the talk show ETCHED IN STONE wars; Dave Letterman is eyeing up ABC come spring; Kelly nixed Dylan's advances on "90210," and the series spawned hundred's of copy-cat shows; MTV delved into cinema veriti with "The Real World"; NBC took a bath with the Triple Cast, but still managed to keep us up on the Dream Team massacres and the summer's cutest couple, Reebok's Dan & Dave; the Weather Channel and CNN tracked Hurricane Andrew as he destroyed a good portion of Florida and Georgia; and, last but not least, the presidential conventions. Bush mentioned that he's getting tough and is ready to challenge everybody. I somehow remember unfulfilled promises from 1988. It's hard to believe anything when tuition goes up higher than our Stealth Bombers. H. Ross Perot, who promised he'd paint any country any color for $99.95, had all the things we wanted to hear, but no solutions. He stayed with the campaign clinics when clients try to enter? Is it fair to cause women, who have given careful consideration as to what they do with their bodies, to become distraught and LITERALLY LISA anguished over being publicly chastised? I think not. And, have you ever noticed that preachy, pro-life advocates refer to pro-choice as pro-abortion? Obviously, I am pro-choice, but that is quite different than pro-abortion. I do not believe in abortion as a replacement for birth control. Although I've never been pregnant, I know that I would want to choose what to do with my own body. Maybe I would choose to bear a child, maybe not. And then there are advertisements for "abortion counseling" which ran in some newspapers. Women who turned to these establishments were escorted into a room and shown morbid films and called murderers. These offices were operated and maintained by radical pro-life advocates who had absolutely no medical or counseling degrees. Their goal was to humiliate women into deciding against an abortion. voss olo S ° ti SAS °' S vsio-101, Sus qu,eitanna Institute Comprehensive Counseling, Dr. Edward S. Beck, Director Dr. Ronald L Roemer, Psychologist Dr. Diane Mkitallk Bonner, Psychologist Rosemarie Chernesky Holland, Counselor Patricia Rothetmel, Masiage & Family Therapist Joseph R. Manduchl, Psychologist Dr. Jams Ka wafters, Psychologist Michael Faulkner, Certified Massage Therapist Day, Evening A Weekend Appointments Ai/11Mb • Affordable Speobl Student Rates Most Insurance Plans Accepted • Needy 50 Practke Speckddes (for a free brochure, call or Write) as long as I stayed with Physics 201 my freshman year. And Bill Clinton--Mr. Cool de Sax. He had this alleged affair, but he's no John F. Kennedy (more like Ted, maybe). As shown on MTV's "Choose or Lose," he had some good answers with some strong plans. And when he was clueless, he admitted it and asked questions back to better understand what's on the mind of young voters. So what if stopped to smell the Flowers? At least we know he inhaled that time. And what about Hillary? Now there's one tough cookie. November will be here in no time...decisions, decisions. This vote will be a tad more involved than the fat Elvis/thin Elvis stamp debate. Well, switching gears back to the present. Without fail, a Penn State orientation weekend is filled with either lots of rain or intense heat. Last year, it was both; this year, it was the hottest weekend of the summer. While I was sweating"during our first week and waiting for the cable guy to come, I came up with this: THE TOP 10 BEST THINGS ABOUT PENN STATE HARRISBURG: 10) Crowded library allows you to be close and intimate with your new college Pte• 9) This newspaper comes out every Why should women have to endure this emotional torment? A woman's body is her own. An embryo or a fetus grows within the woman's body; therefore, it is a part part of her, and not a separate individual. Does an embryo or a fetus have a soul? Prove it. Perhaps the pro-lifers are right. Maybe twelve-year-old children should endure the birth experience. Rape victims should be further traumatized by being forced to bear the attacker's child. Fetuses with severe deformities, or even AIDS, should be born only to suffer and die. Sounds like an infinite cycle of perversity. One day, we could be so overpopulated, we'd have to live like the residents of Third World countries. And, let's not forget most assuredly our taxes will increase every time another infant is born into the welfare system. The cycle begins. When that child grows up, she will have a child who is supported by the welfare system. I wonder how many women who are forced to go full-term would become attached to, and keep a child they really didn't want. These children could end up abused or neglected. Not all women are emotionally capable of giving their offspring up for adoption after carrying them for nine months. Serving Penn State Harrisburg Students, Staff and Faculty Since 1972 CAPITAL ES September 4, TI 1 M 992 OP ED 5 three weeks, giving you ample time to absorb each article and even form small discussion groups. 7) Three Mile Island--all that radiation for free. When you go home, your parents will say, "Gee, (insert name) doesn't seem any smarter, but doesn't he/she have a lovely glow for $5OOO a semester?" 6) The Lion's Den--where you can eat your weight in pasta and salad. 5) The sculpture garden provides a beautiful view, tutors you on the fine aspects of anatomy, and gives the birds a lovely green target for their "projectiles." 4) Nearby airport jets shake your bed at 5 a.m.--the world's best wake up call for a 10 a.m. class. -3) That University Park hazard of beer dropping from balconies isn't a problem here (Meade Heights only). 2) That pinhead roommate and the pain-in-the-butt calculus professor you had two years ago aren't here. 1) When you turn 21 at PSH, the social possibilities double. By the way, what's zem doubled? Enjoy these first few weeks. And by the way, as I type this in, I'm not wearing any pants. These considerations must be taken into account. Remember, this is a black and white issue. There is no gray. You are either pro-choice or pro-life. This is America...a democratic, progressive society...a culture which believes in freedom and choice. Psychological and Educational 8) Thirty major highways converge at the front door--the gateway to lands beyond. And there's never any football traffic-ever. And when it comes to adoption or foster care, what is the guarantee the child will be treated well? A bad childhood could result in suicide or a new Jack the Ripper. Will the pro-lifers take the unadoptable children into their homes? They talk a good game, but are they willing to raise a few minority, AIDS-infected or handicapped children? Aft& all, it is an ardous task to rear child= that fall into these categories. Mos( couples want to adopt healthy, white infants. Here is another issue which needs to be addressed: How many women will try to give themselves their own coat-hanger abortions, or go to unqualified abortion clinics out of sheer desperation? I don't understand why men are making these decisions anyway. I never encountered a pregnant man. What do men know about the emotional and physical aspects of the birth experience? Why do they think they can make these decisions for women? Services *hunt -*this , gist Shore Medical Center 52405 LingtedM Road itarsistanT o rA 17110
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