PAGE 2 DEPRESSING THOUGHTS ON GRADUATING INTO A DEPRESSION [McAlevy's Fort, Penna.] It is quiet here in the country. The only sound comes from the bawling dairy cows down across Stone Creek. Looking out into the night, I see nothing but dark, spooky hills and occasional pole lights of the rural electric company. Directly beneath my window, there are footprints in the snow. The tracks lead everywhere but the most interesting set goes in a circle around the grape arbor. All the prints lead in; there are none that lead out. Whoever made them must have carefully retraced their steps to create the whirlpool illusion. I came up here to get out of Middletown fora while. For a mid-term break and a chance to read all those books that were to have been read before last weeks' final. Instead, most of my time has been spent playing the guitar and watching my hairline recede. Plus, of course, thinking about graduation.... In five weeks, a hell of a lot of good people - and some not so good people - are going to be thrust out into the world, banished into the March wind to a place where even the unemployment lines are filled. And then, come June, the rest of the Class of '75 hits the street. Which kind of makes it "courage of your convictions" time. All through the four year collegiate adventure, those of us in liberal arts have smiled through our teeth at the engineers and surveyors. And, in turn, they have smirked back at us. They were the glorified shoppies. They built things like sewers andhydrauliczipper caps. If they taunted us with snide remarks about the value of studying 18th century architecture...well, what did they know? So now it is down to the wire. Even in a depressed economy, engineers and such are needed. Earth News reports a 7 percent greater demand for their services than last year at this time. As for liberal artists - ah, the City Line could use an all-night cook. (In order not to slight anyone, elementary Ed, and business majors are doing just fine doing whatever it is they do. Statistics from Reader files show most of them are Sun City insurance brokers.) Still, even in this winter of our discontent, there are a couple options for the liberal arts types: mainly ACTION and graduate school. Nobody gets rich in ACTION but it beats waxing poetically as you starve in the alleyway. As for graduate school, it seems to smack of that endless circle out there in the snow. Perhaps the best suggestion of what to do after college comes from Doctor of Proctology Peter Hall. His wisdom runs something like this; "In the unnerving light of nirvana and often met misfortune, the true realm of amazing accomplishment can seldom be accepted by those who would remain smitten with the false ideals and romantic rumors that blow throught the hollow corridors of sacred engineers knowledge. It is rather for us the living to seek and find, rather than be sought and found, only to discover the ugly continued truth of falsehood." f rom pg. That about sums it all up. sincere and inspirational. PSPE also helps the stu dents to make their first step towards professional registration by sponsoring EIT sessions. The EIT re view prepares the engin eers to take the training er-v• test on May 3rd here on Campus. it The sessions are held twice a week starting win ter term and will continue until the test is taken. The sessions are taught by the different professors from the engineering department with ten topics ranging from math to fluid flow to electricity. This year ap proximately 150 students have signed up for the EIT REVIEW. In order for EIT review sessions and PSPE to con tinue next year, some junior engineers are needec to learn how the organiza tion works. Being active with an organization like PSPE is a good way tc meet practicing engineers and to gain experience working with students one faculty. Anyone interestec contact club treasurer, Ed, Stiffler, 944-0919 or th( ,‘l , sr , `f a i• lII' $ I . 'e" - si , 2 41. 1 t-- 4 11. : S •• I • * is s Th• Capitol Campus Reader The C. C. Reader is published by the students of the Pennsylvania State University at Capitol Campus, Middletown, Pa., and is printed by the Middletown Press & Journal during the Fall, Winter and Spring Terms. Opinions expressed by the editors and staff are not necessarily those of the University Administration, Faculty or Students. Editor-in-Chief Associate Editor Associate 8. Photography Editor Business Manager . Assistant Business Mgr . Business Dent Photographer Layout SGA Correspondents Hot Lion Coordinator Graphics On-Campus Typesetter Advisor Faculty Advisor ... by Doug Gibboney Jim Bollinger Doug Gibboney .Fred Prouser ...Ken Hession .Steve Nonn Bob Pobiak, Robert Eroh, John Michalyshin Joe Minnici, Gene T. Eddy Romeo Trajanus, Ronnie Wer, Phyllis Schaeffer, P.R.J. Smith, Mark Feldman Doug 8. Jim 8 Phyllis Mike McAllister, Russ Hogg Dave Nicholas Diane Cressler Eileen Hogg Jim Ferrier Dr. Betty Thorne C.C. READER Traineeship Offered By Devereaux Undergraduate juniors, seniors, and beginning graduate students are in vited to apply for the Sum mer Camp Counselor and year round Pre-Profession al Traineeships at the Devereux Foundation in Pa. a group of multidisciplinary residential and day care treatment, therapeutic educatin and rehabilitation centers in suburban Phil adelphia. The program provides training and supervised ex perience with emotionally disturbed and mentally handicapped children, adolescents and young adults presenting problems of learning and per&onal adjustment. Tax exempt stipends of $2OO-$409 per month, housing and meals are of fered to qualified appli cants who are U.S.Citizens unmarried, and at least 21 years of age. They should have a broad academic base of training and some degree of practical exper ience appropriate to the traineeship. Preference will be given to applicants who plan to attend graduate school and presently seek a comprehensive training ex perience in supportive mental health services. For informatin contact Dr. Henry Platt, Director, The Devereux Foundation, Institute of Clinical Train ing, Devon, Pa. 19333. S Orbe f)ititorp Of V. A. by Jimmy Olson Hello friends, Jimmy here. Did you ever wonder where certain "things" came from? Now that we're on the subject of V.D., let's take a look at it. I've heard people complaining about catching Gonorrhea from someone, who apparently caught it from somebody else. Try to picture an entire family tree of V.D. passer-oners. Now that's a relationship! Alas , the question, Who was the first one to have V.D.? Millions of people get it, but only one person started it. Who was it? Was it a man--or a woman? Who knows? So, Jimmy Olson, in his infinite quest of combating mediocrity, investigated the history of V.D. After much research, I definitely pin-pointed the origins to biblical days. There's no doubt about it, because it says it in the bible. "Let there be no mistake about that." To acquire additional information, I ventured into the office of an expert biblical historian, Dr. Rebbur Dnab. Dr. Dnab stated, "that V.D. was definitely started by Adam and Eve. Since they were the first humans, then it's only logical that they were the originators." The good doctor may have an interesting thesis, but he stops short of the truth. There are just too many other possibilities to consider. Some claim that when god found out that Cain killed Abel, god gave Cain gonnorrhea. A leaky faucet was themark that god placed upon Cain to bear the rest of his life (or until the discoveryof Pennicillin). Cain then spread his mark onto his descendants. That story may have some promise, but I won't rest until I investigate the entire matter. I believe that Adam and Eve gave Cain V.D. But, who gave it to Adam and Eve? Some people say that they got it from the toilet seats and door knobs in the garden. We allknow that commodes and doors weren't invented yet, so that shoots that argument to hell. Speaking of Hell, maybe the devil gave V.D. to Eve, and she passed it on to Adam. It's only logical that the devil would have V.D. After all, he's the bad guy, and I have never seen a bad guy on television that was a virigin. So, that makes him a prime subject. OK, it's possible that the old horny dude had a leaky faucet, but I'm still not satisfied with the story. Another originator might have been the Apple from the tree. What Eve didn't know was, that when she was biting into that "fruit of truth" she was ingesting millions of swarming gonococcus diplococci gram negative and positive rods--Gonorrhea. That was thought to be a perfect explanation of the origins of V.D. Hanging overhead was the potential invader of billions of genital-urinary systems. All it had to do, was to be plucked off the gonorrhea tree, and be bitten into. Fine, but who put the tree there? Where did the original seed come from? Perhaps another one of the more logical explanations is blaming it all on the snake that tempted Eve. Since the snake is the utmost in phallic symbols, it's only befitting that he be given the credit. But still, no documented proof is available. Believe it or not, I know the answer. Theway I discovered the truth was quite simple. All I had to do, was to logically appraise the situation, and thenproceed to the basic truth. By doing so, I was able tolook right into the face of the "starter". God had V.D 1 I I !Shocking? It's true. Who else could have given it to Adam and Eve? Was there anyone else around who planted trees in the garden? The devil originally used to work for god, so he was exposed to gonorrhea as soon as he joined the organization. Maybe god thought that V.D. was a nice human novelty. Maybe it has some rare unknown vitamins. Can our bodies funditon properly without those vitamins? What about us who have never had V.D.? Well, then, we are destined to be vitamin deficient. If man was created in the likeness of god, then god had to have V.D. because man has it. Is it a possiblility that god caught it from someone we don't know about? Maybe he was so mad, that he deliberately gave it to us so that we would suffer. His infamous immortal last words might have been. "I won't be satisfied until every man has a leaky faucet." (and faucets weren't even invented yet). Now that you have read this insanity thus far, are you asking yourself why Jimmy Olson is saying these things? You have probably just caught on. My V.D. story was intended to over-dramitize a crucial point. That point, my concern, is simply wiping out the paranoia and guilt complexes propagated by western christianity. All you afraid to poke fun at god? Aoe you "closet-christians" believing that if you talk like this, you will be struck down, or turned into a slab of salt? You "believers" could be called "blasphemous" just for reading this "heretical trash". Imagine exploring bodily pleasures--without the notion of performing "illicit acts". Discover the many , sensual and sexual dimensions of your body. You just may be surprised by what you find. One of our society's greatest problems is taking this religious bit too serious. Loosen up and forget those guilt complexes. We have the capacity for sensual enjoyment--but often nullify that ecstacy with morals. I believe that morals are no more than an attempt by Mankind to cover-up his own inadequacies (Queen Victoria taught us that). Life is one big "turn on". So find yourself a partner, and go get "turned on". WeN, good ole Jimmy just destroyed another illusion. Such pain. "God is a concept by which we measure our pain." --John Lennon. So friends, tune in next time and see what's happening. Jimmy Olson doesn't miss a trick FEBRUARY 14, 1975
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