PAGE 2
DEPRESSING
THOUGHTS ON
GRADUATING
INTO A
DEPRESSION
[McAlevy's Fort, Penna.] It is quiet here in the country. The
only sound comes from the bawling dairy cows down
across Stone Creek. Looking out into the night, I see
nothing but dark, spooky hills and occasional pole lights of
the rural electric company. Directly beneath my window,
there are footprints in the snow. The tracks lead everywhere
but the most interesting set goes in a circle around the
grape arbor. All the prints lead in; there are none that lead
out. Whoever made them must have carefully retraced their
steps to create the whirlpool illusion.
I came up here to get out of Middletown fora while. For a
mid-term break and a chance to read all those books that
were to have been read before last weeks' final. Instead,
most of my time has been spent playing the guitar and
watching my hairline recede. Plus, of course, thinking
about graduation....
In five weeks, a hell of a lot of good people - and some
not so good people - are going to be thrust out into the
world, banished into the March wind to a place where even
the unemployment lines are filled. And then, come June,
the rest of the Class of '75 hits the street.
Which kind of makes it "courage of your convictions"
time. All through the four year collegiate adventure, those
of us in liberal arts have smiled through our teeth at the
engineers and surveyors. And, in turn, they have smirked
back at us. They were the glorified shoppies. They built
things like sewers andhydrauliczipper caps. If they taunted
us with snide remarks about the value of studying 18th
century architecture...well, what did they know?
So now it is down to the wire. Even in a depressed
economy, engineers and such are needed. Earth News
reports a 7 percent greater demand for their services than
last year at this time. As for liberal artists - ah, the City Line
could use an all-night cook. (In order not to slight anyone,
elementary Ed, and business majors are doing just fine
doing whatever it is they do. Statistics from Reader files
show most of them are Sun City insurance brokers.)
Still, even in this winter of our discontent, there are a
couple options for the liberal arts types: mainly ACTION
and graduate school. Nobody gets rich in ACTION but it
beats waxing poetically as you starve in the alleyway. As
for graduate school, it seems to smack of that endless
circle out there in the snow.
Perhaps the best suggestion of what to do after college
comes from Doctor of Proctology Peter Hall. His wisdom
runs something like this; "In the unnerving light of nirvana
and often met misfortune, the true realm of amazing
accomplishment can seldom be accepted by those who
would remain smitten with the false ideals and romantic
rumors that blow throught the hollow corridors of sacred engineers
knowledge. It is rather for us the living to seek and find,
rather than be sought and found, only to discover the ugly continued
truth of falsehood." f rom pg.
That about sums it all up. sincere and inspirational.
PSPE also helps the stu
dents to make their first
step towards professional
registration by sponsoring
EIT sessions. The EIT re
view prepares the engin
eers to take the training
er-v• test on May 3rd here on
Campus.
it The sessions are held
twice a week starting win
ter term and will continue
until the test is taken. The
sessions are taught by the
different professors from
the engineering department
with ten topics ranging
from math to fluid flow to
electricity. This year ap
proximately 150 students
have signed up for the EIT
REVIEW.
In order for EIT review
sessions and PSPE to con
tinue next year, some
junior engineers are needec
to learn how the organiza
tion works. Being active
with an organization like
PSPE is a good way tc
meet practicing engineers
and to gain experience
working with students one
faculty. Anyone interestec
contact club treasurer, Ed,
Stiffler, 944-0919 or th(
,‘l , sr
, `f
a
i• lII' $
I . 'e" - si , 2
41. 1 t-- 4 11. :
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is s
Th• Capitol Campus Reader
The C. C. Reader is published by the students of the
Pennsylvania State University at Capitol Campus,
Middletown, Pa., and is printed by the Middletown
Press & Journal during the Fall, Winter and Spring
Terms.
Opinions expressed by the editors and staff are not
necessarily those of the University Administration,
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C.C. READER
Traineeship
Offered
By
Devereaux
Undergraduate juniors,
seniors, and beginning
graduate students are in
vited to apply for the Sum
mer Camp Counselor and
year round Pre-Profession
al Traineeships at the
Devereux Foundation in Pa.
a group of multidisciplinary
residential and day care
treatment, therapeutic
educatin and rehabilitation
centers in suburban Phil
adelphia.
The program provides
training and supervised ex
perience with emotionally
disturbed and mentally
handicapped children,
adolescents and young
adults presenting problems
of learning and per&onal
adjustment.
Tax exempt stipends of
$2OO-$409 per month,
housing and meals are of
fered to qualified appli
cants who are U.S.Citizens
unmarried, and at least 21
years of age. They should
have a broad academic
base of training and some
degree of practical exper
ience appropriate to the
traineeship. Preference will
be given to applicants who
plan to attend graduate
school and presently seek a
comprehensive training ex
perience in supportive
mental health services.
For informatin contact
Dr. Henry Platt, Director,
The Devereux Foundation,
Institute of Clinical Train
ing, Devon, Pa. 19333.
S Orbe f)ititorp Of V. A.
by Jimmy Olson
Hello friends, Jimmy here. Did you ever wonder where
certain "things" came from? Now that we're on the subject
of V.D., let's take a look at it. I've heard people complaining
about catching Gonorrhea from someone, who apparently
caught it from somebody else. Try to picture an entire
family tree of V.D. passer-oners. Now that's a relationship!
Alas , the question, Who was the first one to have V.D.?
Millions of people get it, but only one person started it.
Who was it? Was it a man--or a woman? Who knows?
So, Jimmy Olson, in his infinite quest of combating
mediocrity, investigated the history of V.D. After much
research, I definitely pin-pointed the origins to biblical
days. There's no doubt about it, because it says it in the
bible. "Let there be no mistake about that." To acquire
additional information, I ventured into the office of an
expert biblical historian, Dr. Rebbur Dnab. Dr. Dnab stated,
"that V.D. was definitely started by Adam and Eve. Since
they were the first humans, then it's only logical that they
were the originators." The good doctor may have an
interesting thesis, but he stops short of the truth. There are
just too many other possibilities to consider. Some claim
that when god found out that Cain killed Abel, god gave
Cain gonnorrhea. A leaky faucet was themark that god
placed upon Cain to bear the rest of his life (or until the
discoveryof Pennicillin). Cain then spread his mark onto his
descendants. That story may have some promise, but I
won't rest until I investigate the entire matter. I believe that
Adam and Eve gave Cain V.D. But, who gave it to Adam and
Eve? Some people say that they got it from the toilet seats
and door knobs in the garden. We allknow that commodes
and doors weren't invented yet, so that shoots that
argument to hell. Speaking of Hell, maybe the devil gave
V.D. to Eve, and she passed it on to Adam. It's only logical
that the devil would have V.D. After all, he's the bad guy,
and I have never seen a bad guy on television that was a
virigin. So, that makes him a prime subject. OK, it's
possible that the old horny dude had a leaky faucet, but I'm
still not satisfied with the story. Another originator might
have been the Apple from the tree. What Eve didn't know
was, that when she was biting into that "fruit of truth"
she was ingesting millions of swarming gonococcus
diplococci gram negative and positive rods--Gonorrhea.
That was thought to be a perfect explanation of the origins
of V.D. Hanging overhead was the potential invader of
billions of genital-urinary systems. All it had to do, was to
be plucked off the gonorrhea tree, and be bitten into. Fine,
but who put the tree there? Where did the original seed
come from? Perhaps another one of the more logical
explanations is blaming it all on the snake that tempted
Eve. Since the snake is the utmost in phallic symbols, it's
only befitting that he be given the credit. But still, no
documented proof is available.
Believe it or not, I know the answer. Theway I discovered
the truth was quite simple. All I had to do, was to logically
appraise the situation, and thenproceed to the basic truth.
By doing so, I was able tolook right into the face of the
"starter".
God had V.D 1 I I !Shocking? It's true. Who else could
have given it to Adam and Eve? Was there anyone else
around who planted trees in the garden? The devil
originally used to work for god, so he was exposed to
gonorrhea as soon as he joined the organization. Maybe
god thought that V.D. was a nice human novelty. Maybe it
has some rare unknown vitamins. Can our bodies funditon
properly without those vitamins? What about us who have
never had V.D.? Well, then, we are destined to be vitamin
deficient. If man was created in the likeness of god, then
god had to have V.D. because man has it. Is it a possiblility
that god caught it from someone we don't know about?
Maybe he was so mad, that he deliberately gave it to us so
that we would suffer. His infamous immortal last words
might have been. "I won't be satisfied until every man has a
leaky faucet." (and faucets weren't even invented yet).
Now that you have read this insanity thus far, are you
asking yourself why Jimmy Olson is saying these things?
You have probably just caught on. My V.D. story was
intended to over-dramitize a crucial point. That point, my
concern, is simply wiping out the paranoia and guilt
complexes propagated by western christianity. All you
afraid to poke fun at god? Aoe you "closet-christians"
believing that if you talk like this, you will be struck down,
or turned into a slab of salt? You "believers" could be
called "blasphemous" just for reading this "heretical
trash". Imagine exploring bodily pleasures--without the
notion of performing "illicit acts". Discover the many
, sensual and sexual dimensions of your body. You just may
be surprised by what you find. One of our society's greatest
problems is taking this religious bit too serious. Loosen up
and forget those guilt complexes. We have the capacity for
sensual enjoyment--but often nullify that ecstacy with
morals. I believe that morals are no more than an attempt
by Mankind to cover-up his own inadequacies (Queen
Victoria taught us that). Life is one big "turn on". So find
yourself a partner, and go get "turned on".
WeN, good ole Jimmy just destroyed another illusion.
Such pain. "God is a concept by which we measure our
pain." --John Lennon. So friends, tune in next time and see
what's happening.
Jimmy Olson doesn't miss a trick
FEBRUARY 14, 1975