Page 4 This girl has done her homework. Nice looking legs, but the only whistle she'll hear is the caretaker trimming 'round her head stone. riri , s , 4 , 4 .,. ' et4e . :.:: 4 4, •,. • ':"..;, e›."o-4 • ' tr2 . ,„ ' ' .. 7', " '''' :'-' ..,,.., ~ ,,;,:4: 0 ft",..., , '..,;:, ' . ~,,,,. ' , w ' - f.', , '3 . l ,— ‘^ ' ' :PAZ/1? ' • : .k. , ' i t ~,`,‘•' . ' ..i '' ,, ~ • '" Se. ' ~ . 3, '&4* ' ' ' 7* ' '''' ; ' , " ' ' ' ' ' ' k • '''. ''' .4,,* <•'.. 0),N.:: •‘,:,„ .. : ', >44 * : : :",: • . +,.. ' 4 4' • e " '., • ¢ l`, , , :'''' ',.'. Cramming for finals can be exhausting, to say the least. Hoping for extra credit. Bob has an "A" in the bag. Activities Schedule Oct. 12, Friday Volleyball (W ): Gannon, Home, 7 P.M. Oct. 13, Saturday - Tennis (W): West minster, Home, 1 P.M. Soccer: Slippery Rock St., Away 2 P.M.; Football: Army, UP-UP Homecoming. Oct. 14, Sunday - Movies "Summer of '42", with Gary Grimes, Jennifer O'Neill, Jerry Houser, Oliver Conant, RUB Lecture Hall, 6:3oand9P.M. Oct. 15, Monday - Behrend Players start free, full-length previews: "The Glass Menagerie", first come, first served, 8 P.M. in the Studio Theatre. Varsity Basketball Meeting - Women 12:15 Gym. Oct. 16, Tuesday - Soccer: Allegheny,- Home, 3 P.M.; Volleyball (W): Westminster, Away, 7 P.M.; Behrend Players Free Campus Previews continue: "The Glass Menagerie," Studio Theatre, BP.M. Oct. 17, Wednesday - Horror Film Series: "The Masque of Red Death", with Vincent Price, RUB Lecture Hall, 7:30 and 10 P.M.; Last Day for Behrend Players Free Campus Preview: "The Glass Menagerie", Studio Theatre, 8 P.M. Meeting for Christian Assoc. • Oct. 18, Thursday - Tennis (W) : Villa Maria, Away, 3 P.M. ; Distribution of The Behrend Collegian. Commuter Student Meeting 4 P.M. in RUB Lecture Hall. Home-fries are a gas for dinner guests A is for Apple? Bobbing for straight aces, this student is an understudy of Jacques Costeau. His project: Aquadeath. Behrend Offers "Seminar in Suicide" Dr. lan Lemming, Ph.D., is opening a course on suicide. A three-credit undertaking, the course -is a must for Death and Humanities majors. ci C 4 1 "I've seen too many college courses depend on text and text alone. Here is a class suited to individual achievement. Books don't really matter, unless you can kill yourself with them." As an example, Lemming cited an incident where a UCLA student toppled over eight shelves of encyclopedias, crushing himself to a pulp. "His research was superb," Lemming stated. "We found a copy of the Tibetan Book of the Dead on his chest." The new course, labeled Suicide 104, is especially popular with Oriental students. "We have them jumping out of windows all the time," Lemming said. "Actually, the course is a piece of cake. Where else can you take your 'final' anytime you want?" Lemming did stress the need for originality when killing yourself. According to him, simple methods such as a Luger in the mouth were too com monplace, and thus not deserving of top marks. "It was a hit with Hitler, but let's fact it, biting the bullet is an old cliche," Lemming said. "I'm inclined to give the best grades to students like Behrena Collegian By Marc Woytowich Most students jump at the chance to demon- The course offers the student strate their projects for "show and tell." an opportunity to take his own Here, Bill showed a fine technique, but had lit life. "This is where a depressed tie to tell about his experience. individual can finally excell in something," Dr. Lemming said. „,! Barbara. Barbara was a junior at Bowling Green, a somewhat obese child, but she had alot of spunk. She lugged forty pounds of quarters up a high diving board. Then she swallowed them -- 800 in all and rolled herself off. You should have seen it; she sank like the Titanic." Innovation can also be dangerous, Lemming warned. He referred to the case of Terry and his "stairway to heaven." "It was a fine idea to climb those high tension wires, but Terry should have checked the voltage first," Lemming said. "There wasn't enough to kill him just enough to damage his genetic make-up. Which, as it turned out, was a blessing for Terry. He received an offer from NBC to star in his own TV show, "The Amazing Colosal Irredescent Sophomore." I bad to flunk him though. No 'A's if alive. You have to pass away to pass by me." Lemming's harsh grading system is under attack at Oklahoma University. He is being sued by a paralyzed fresh man who received a failing mark. "Tommy knows I graded fairly," Lemming defended. "I could- Keeping track of homework assignments is David Anderson. If Amtrak keeps to his study schedule, David will finish this assignment on the 4:15. Almost any household appliance can add soothing electro-massage to that relaxing bath. "Stir up those bubbles with a blender," Dr_ Lemming says. have told him that piano wasn't big enough. Anyway, his lawsuit doesn't concern that matter. He's upset because being paralyzed in an intensive care unit makes it difficult to finish the job. But like I told him, no 'A' until you're dead away." The course sounds like a killer, but Dr. Lemming is determined to stick to his guns and teach it exactly as the course founder, Dr. Tao Chow would have wanted it. Dr. Chow was killed recently when he drove his Toyota into an aircraft carrier. JOBS OFFERED Job proposals for Work-Study students are still being accepted by the Student Affairs Of fice. If any faculty, or staff member would like to submit a proposal for Work-Study students, he-she should do so as soon as possible. Current Work-Study supervisors who are interested in requesting additional Work-Study students, may still do so also. Information and job proposal forms may be obtained in the Student Affairs Office, 2nd floor RUB. October 11, 1979
Significant historical Pennsylvania newspapers