Page Two WHAT An astute observer, one familiar with the Behrend Campus, will notice a large ob ject rusting on the west lawn of the Reed building. The object is animate as it has been known to lie on its side for weeks at a time, as if resting. Its graceful curves and pointy ends give it a symetrical, albeit dangerous, countenance. Could it be the Behrend Fine Arts Department? A manual orgasmatron? Perhaps a tribute to Otto Behrend's dog? No one can really tell as the object is unmarked by a plaque or similar explanation. Let's be bold. We'll assume that it's the work of creative genius. A modern art sculpture. The suc cess of a work of this sort might fairly be said to depend on the impressions it conveys to the people who view it. In order to help people judge the merits of this sculpture, I am including a sample of the interpretations of fered by Behrend students as they were walking past it. Largly disregarding my per sonal perception of the sculpture (it leaves me as cold as a nun's embrace) I asked people at ran doni; what does this look like to you? Patty Martin—A hammer and sickle; Gary Turner—The ass end Strange Encounter Of The First An unusual thing happened to me last night. I was enjoying the depths of an alcoholically in duced sleep when I was visited by an apparition. Very odd. He was old and ghostly, with the face of an animated fig. He addressed me by name. Now fig face was seated at a large desk, in an ornate baroque edifice, which was carpeted by a sooty, grey-green cloud. I con versed with him at some length, sod as the strange encounter was especially vivid, I can recount it far you here Verbatim. He said, "I am the spirit of Judge Gary. It was me, along with J.P. Morgan, who built .USS Steel. I'm in town to watch the delibere ions over the steel mill that we are going to build down wind of you." "That's all very : nice," IS IT? of a dog; Lisa Depto—A giraffe; Manley Brabb—God only knows; Tracy Hugg — A bug; Jodie Kamens—A bird; Gary Bun ting—The college administration sticking it to us; Stephanie Spilco—A stork; Mary Stein metz—A rusty ostrich; Jim Viverilli—A phallic symbol or device of torture, Dan Huff—A sexy woman because it's horny; Tim O'Connor—A three legged chicken without a head; Rick Takta—A bow on a stand; Ruth Weltman—A rhinoceros; Jim Patrick—A replica of Eli Whit ney's cotton gin; Rick Alen—An alter for burning Deans in effagy, Sandy Edwards—A giant com pass; Holly MacTaggart—A crescent moon with a descending falling star; Larry John—A metal replica of Elmo The Hermit Crab. Some general comments in cluded: Barb Avery—They should remove it and replace it with something interesting, Tom Miller—Paint it with another coat of rust and swap places between it and the observatory. Vaghn Conley—Sell it for scrap or take it to Jenkins' landfill, Paul Visintainer—We should treat it to some naval jelly and rustoleum. by Jim Babbitt replied, "but why are you talking to me?" "First," said Judge Gary, "you're a native of Erie, and second, you don't know what you're in for. Call me sadistic, but whenever we start a new plant somewhere, I like to visit people and rub their noses in it a little. Frankly, if I were you, I'd move out of here before we finish it because this won't be such a good place to live." "What do you mean? The steel mill will mean a lot of new jobs for area people. "You really think so, eh? We already have more than enough labor. We'll bring them in from Youngstown, Gary, Detroit, and Pittsburgh. Every out of work union mill hunk in the Eastern U.S. will be in Erie by the time we open the, gates. Unemployment Behrend Collegian Letters More Fallacies I definitely enjoyed Tom Miller's article about fallacies at Behrend College. Allow me to add a few more to his list: The "main campus is better" fallacy states that everything will be much more fun at Main. It's not—Main is made up of the same kind of people as Behrend. Just like any other place you're at, it's what you make of it. The "louder the better" fallacy is practiced by people who turn up their stereos at parties. They're no fun if I can't hear the girl I'm trying to pick up. And the stereo repairmen keep going to the bank. The "Entertain me in the classroom" fallacy applies to the people who don't believe in classroom etiquette. If you don't will be as bad as ever or worse!" "But everyone says it'll be great for the area." • "That's money talking, boy. State politicians who want the tax revenues and don't have to live here. Local businessmen who only care about dough anyway. The businessmen will make out. Mill people will be paid more than you locals, and product prices will skyrocket." "Great. Any more good news?" "Lots more, "said Judge Gary cheerfully. "In the short run you can expect already overcrowded roads to become impassible. Housing shortages and overextended municipal ser vices, such as schools, sewage, and water." "Why don't you build where there is an adequate labor force and existing heavy industries." "Well, we already owned the land up here and I've always felt that Lake Erie is one of the nation's finer toilets." "You mean that you intend to pollute the water?" "We intend to pollute everything the air, the water, what have you. US Steel always pollutes. It's our company trademark. We're building the world's largest steel mill here, boy, not a chewing gum factory." "The government will fine the hell out of you if you exceed their limits. "Their limits" said Judge Gary patiently, "already allow us to dump near lethal levels of am monia and heavy metals. They can fine us as much as they want to. We'll take it out of the mor ning receipts and - keep on dump ing. We do it all the time. The politicians won't close us down. That would put all those voting mill hunks out of work." "What about the penninsula?" "Oh, that. It would be too crowded with new people to use, even if the water and air were clean. Forget about it. We're thinking about having the Army Corps of Engineers remove it because it would block and slow down the flow of our pollution. The Army Corps bends over backwards for us." "There's a referendum on this month's ballot about US Steel. I'm going to vote this time just for you." "Big deal; the rest of the people in Erie won't get off their butts until it's too late. Once it's started, it's finished, and so are you." "Say," I asked. "how did you get into heaven anyway?" "I'm not," replied Judge Gary, "I was in heaven for a couple of weeks, but they sent me here when I tried to start a steel mill." James Rabbitt 52nd term varying viewpoints like the lectures, either grin and bear it, talk privately with the teacher, drop the course , or don't come! Meanwhile, I don't want to listen to you disrupt the class because I had to pay to get in. The "I've got to graduate on time" fallacy is impressed upon starry-eyed freshmen by pushy parents. Chances are you'll find that you can't keep up with the pace of your major. If you really know that you want that degree, slow down and take one less course a term. Better grades count more than speed. Be careful though, or else you'll have scheduling trouble here at Behrend. The "we can get the students to come" fallacy is believed mostly by members of the student organizations. The key to large crowds is booze. Bad as it sounds, we'll never get a lot of students to our shows until PA lowers the drinking age. The "dirty rotten establish ment" fallacy is held by everyone who has ever felt that they've been wronged by the system. Sure, inconsistancies exist and complaining is one way to fix them. But for more immediate pleasure and relief, learn how to get what you want. Then it's your turn to laugh. The "loud-mouthing is enough" 24-Hour Questioned 24-hour visitation? No way! I like my privacy and to not have to worry about some guy seeing me run from my room to the bathroom in the middle of the night in my "comfortable" Also, I'd hate to have to escort a guy on and off the floor every time he crime to visit. But I'm not completely stub born. I suggest a compromise. Why not have the present visitation system in effect during the week and 24 hour visitation on weekends? Connie Pukanic Phil Goodwin, Peggy Abbott, Rick Allen, Barb Bogdan, Emily Lott, Joe Hohman, Mark Porterfield, Mike Callaghan, Polly Zadernak, Connie Pukanic and Nina Siegel th.ttub •G:olltAiau gip Prue Asseriathut Jody Kamens Editorial Editor Holly MacTaggart News Editor Mailing Address-Behrend College, Station Rood, Erie, Po. 16563 Office-Reed Union Building Office Hours: 8:00 a.m. - 10:50 a.m., Mon. Wed. Fri. Phone: 898-1511 Ext. 238 Opinions expressed by the editors, and staff of the I3ehrend Collegian are not necessarily those of • the University Ad ministration, faculty, or the student body. fallacy is seemingly believed by most of the writers of this paper. Pointing out and complaining about a "wrong" is one step, but stopping there is to miss the boat. Before any "wrong" can be righted, a reasonable and practical solution is• needed. If you don't offer one, you trust the people you're complaining about to "fix" it. And to be consistant with your arguements, you can't. GARY PELLETT Student Responses In response to Dr. George's article, "Fresh ideas From Freshmen," April 5, 1979: I don't feel the college fresh men of the early '7o's contrasts in attitude that much to the one of nowadays. Dr. George stated that our forerunners were more liberal than present day college students, who are conservative and intend to follow precedents established by their parents. I sure don't feel that and most of my friends and acquaintences (Freshmen through Seniors) Don't feel that way either. The differences between us and our forerunners lies in our-, ap proach to rejection of social and career precedents. While they "spazzed," we "maintain." And when, because of their irrational behavior, they ruined the at mosphere for intelligible negotiation with "the establish ment ;" we maintain the necessary calm for peaceful negot i on. It's not that we've succumbed to "social norms," but we've found a different way to react to t hem. Connie Pukanic Editorial Policy The editorials appearing in this newspaper are opinions and we invite critism. All letters that are typewritten of 200 words or less and submitted to the newspaper staff may be printed with the exception of those that are repetitious or in poor taste. The staff reserves the right to correct or delete portions of all letters for publication purposes. All letters must be signed, but names will be withheld upon request. Term standing, major, and hometown must be included. Signed columns represent the view of the author only and do not necessarily reflect the Editorial policy of the Behrend Collegian. Member of Laura Seman Editor-in-Chief Tom Britten Entertainment Editor Photo Editor Grant Edwards Faculty Advisor Michel Small May 10, 1979 Laura Seman Sports Editor
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