I The Behrend Beacon The Behrend Beacon Published Weekly h\ the ttkleuts or Penn State Erie beaconllll Fil NI) Penn State Erie, The Behrend College First Floor, The J• Elmer Reed Union Building Jackson to marry little boy: or is Valentine's Day is probably the most loving yet cruel holiday ever. For those of us who had Valentines, it was a glorious day to celebrate just how beautiful you are and to get chocolate for it. On the other hand, for those of us who didn't have a Valentine, it was a bottom less pit of Ben and Jerry's. Fortunately, for me, my day was on the up and up as I received four ounces of pure milk chocolate, shaped like roses of course, though just a huge hunk of chocolate would have worked just the same. And then there's Mary Kay LeTourneau and Vili Fualaau, the eternal pedophilic couple. For those readers that don't remember, let me refresh your memory. LeTourneau, 34 at the time, was convicted of second-degree child rape when it was discovered that she was having a sexual relation ship with her 12-year-old elemen tary school student. She was preg nant with Fualaau's first child when she was sentenced to six months in prison. After being released, she was then caught having sexual relations with Fualaau in her car. She then pleaded guilty to two charges of child rape in 1997, forcing her to give birth to Fualaau's second child in prison while serving her 7.5- year sentence. It gets better. LeTourneau already had four kids. No they weren't to another 12-year-old, though that wouldn't surprise me, but to her then husband. Even though this is all very inter esting, the big news is that the cou ple has announced plans to wed. They set a date for April 16 of this year. Noel Soriano, a friend of the couple was quoted as saying, "It's been a long time coming. It's going to be glorious seeing them get hitched finally." She then went on to gush, "They've gone through so much. That they lasted this long proves how strong their love is." Back up here, Noel. Let's just review the facts. LeTourneau is 22 years older than Fualaau. Some may say that age doesn't matter when it comes to love. Forgive me if I'm wrong, but he was 12 when they started having sex. He hadn't Daniel J• Stasiewski, Editor in Chief Amy Frizzell, Managing Editor Courtney Kaplin, Advertising Manager Alyssa Peconi, Public Relations Manager Dr. Cathy Roan, Adviser News Editor Brad Stewart Assistant News Editor Calendar Page Editor Dan Snedden Rob Frank Sports Editors Sam Cibula Sara Kamber Opinion Editor Andy McNeil Photography Editor Danielle Faulkner Station Road, Erie, PA 16563 Contact the Beacon at: Telephone: (814) 898-6488 Fax: (814) 898-6019 it LeTourneau? She was also married and had four kids. Her kids were probably in the same grade as Fualaau. Talk about an uproar at the soccer mom meetings. Who I feel bad for is the husband; at least the kids will have an extra play mate. The husband, however, is going to have to deal with not only the fact that his wife cheated on him, but with a 12-year old. That poor guy is going to be popping Levitra like candy. It's pretty much common sense that this woman had problems. I can only think of one other person that falls in love with little boys. Which reminds me, remember this one: What do K-Mart and Michael Jackson have in common? Boys' pants half off. Ba, born, ching! Let's forget LeTourneau for a minute. What was this kid think ing? Imagine it; you're 12 years old and your 34-year-old teacher is hitting on you. Well, I'm assuming she hit on him seeing as I still know guys that couldn't possibly fathom talking to a girl their age let alone someone 22 years older than them. To get back to the point, this kid must be really smooth to have hooked a woman at 12 years of age. Finally, lady Noel, does she not realize what happened? Her com ments on this "glorious hitching" as she calls it only leads me to two questions. How old is she? And how old is the kid she's dating? Student Life Editor Lori DeFabio Copy Editors Lacy Buzard Jenn Haight Sarah Weber Beacon Assistant Carolyn M. Tellers Amy Frizzell managing editor even gone through puberty yet. In fact, she caught him right at the beginning of it. I guess she thought those sex ed videos weren't informative enough. OPINION Academy checks out of 'Hotel Rwanda' - When Ray Charles died last year, I doubt he would have envisioned eight Grammy Awards and six Oscar nomi nations all in his name. The 2005 award season has been good to the late, great Ray Charles. And it's only going to get better. The question is, how important is Charles to the movie industry when a more important film could have made the Best Picture nominees list. I don't hate "Ray." I think it is a beautiful, if merely a quintessential biopic. The film isn't well edited, run ning a bit long without ever really telling a story. Taylor Hackford isn't a visionary director, though he does his best work to date with this movie. At best, "Ray" is great movie, but it isn't outstanding. "Hotel Rwanda," the film that need ed to be nominated, is a different film entirely. It's a great film, with great act ing, whose sole purpose is not to glori fy a celebrity, but to shed light on the way the Western world feels toward Africa. When genocide happens in Africa. Americans don't care and the U.N. calls it something else so there isn't military intervention. The conflict between the Hutus and the Tutsis in Rwanda is something American's need ed to know about because an analogous event is going on today in the Sudan. The film's critical view of the West for its apathy is even more important. "Ray" was a popular favorite and the death of Charles (with Universal's Oscar machine) made the film a Best Picture contender. Smaller contenders barely stood up to it. Most people did n't see "Hotel Rwanda." so the political film without an audience didn't stand a chance. It had enough emotional impact to trump its own rough film- Pizza shop warzones: Every Thursday during woduction night in the Beacon Office, vt order in pizza. As college students, we eat more pizza than the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, but what happens when an average boozy trip to get pizza goes awry? You never know when a strug gle to the death. may ensue between crazed and hungry drunks. I am pre pared to train you in the arts of the pizza shop tight club. Bow to your sen sei, bow to your sensei! Step one: Secure the pizza. How do the Turtles fight dozens of members of the Foot Clan at once? Pizza power. Pizza is composed main ly of dough which is a great source of carbohydrates. Carbohydrates give you energy to do all sorts of tasks, including mortal combat. The cheese provides muscle building proteins necessary for strength. Tomato sauce is chock-full of vitamin A which is good for eyesight. The fact that you haven eaten your pizza before your enemy is vital because you'll be energized and ready to rock. You'll also have energy to run from the police or from a vicious mob rallying to lynch you. Step two: Find a just cause to fight for. Never start a pizza shop fight. But if one comes knocking at your door and you have no way out quickly, find a just cause. Offended girlfirends are very useful in justifying a fight. If the Letter to the Egitor President congratulates students Dear opinion editor, On behalf of the student body, I would like to congratulate James Cammarata and Erin Daquelente on being crowned Homecoming King and Queen. Thanks to all who voted, attended the dance and game and a spe cial thank you to all those who organ ized this up and coming Behrend tradi tion. Sincerely, Scott M. Soltis Student Government Association President ............„.„„:„.„-.... - giwiPiNgi.i:Eiv::;:,:, , ,,)ll;iiiiiiiii''' . 4 1 7 1,1f*t p i: ..:.:, . • -. -r t: .:. ,, mii,l:„ •, , "1 •-. •• .•• • •-• . •.. ...............„........ Al,•-• •• • ~•' " ''' ......11,... 1.. . .... ..,„...,... 11 . .!.1r ...... ~.... :..., .......... : :. :.. > ..: ..x.. -' .. , - •.: : "2: It 'r lt : 5 4 0: 1 .10. .. • .' ..::.!:•;::.: f .. . i . ...i. • .'; :; #1F.11 : 4. : ... : .:A ' :10 •E :,... :- -.. i . • . . :4;:.:;:i111.:1::::::1::::iii'''' '.. : -7''' .: ' ::::i1 : : !!.: ..; • : :: :: . 25 . 2,1 : 0kiii1t.MR .. i . . ,: „ . ,;,., :, „...„........,,,...........,.....,,....... ~,.,...,....,5 ., ,,,..„,... . ..„,..........,„„.......,.....,,, ...,„..„)„.„,„. .. .::W*lltifillifailik.::::lollFaikalie ...., ' ''''kf iiiiiiiitEZililtellKßlii!!EiNtitiNbiliikititr.;,,, - Daniel J. Stasiewski editor in chief making which put it in the race for a Best Picture nomination that it ulti mately lost. The four other nominees, "The Aviator," "Sideway," "Finding Neverland" and "Million Dollar Baby," had Oscar written all over them. Then there's "Ray," nomination by celebrity death. As with the film, Charles' Starbuck's produced collaboration album wasn't a critical smash, nor was it a tremendous ly popular album in the Usher/Alicia Keyes sense of the word. There is, however, a feeling of reverence in giv ing a dead man an award he'll never see. It does more for the Music Academy and Film Academy than for the man (though the cash, I'm sure, will be eagerly accepted by his estate). The groups look good because they have the tact to give out the Oscar or the Grammy to the right guy at the right time. "Hotel Rwanda" needs an audience while "Ray" doesn't. "Ray" is a film that, while it does pay tribute to Andy McNeil opinion editor alleged offender has continued banter ing on, offending her, long after you have politely asked him to leave, you are in the clear to do the two-fisted man dance. Make sure you have tried all paths to avoid fighting. If there is no possible alternative, look around the room for possible useful barriers and weapons. A pinball machine provides great lever age for off-balancing your opponent. Empty pizza pans make great weapons to throw. Be sure to let your attacker swing first so as to have the "self defensie" aspect on your side. Be sure to clear all girls who are not of appro priate fighting size out of the battle Friday, February 18, 2005 Charles, doesn't say much more than Charles was a musician with a drug problem. For Christ's sakes he was doing commercial for the PA lottery not one year before the movie was released. The entertainment industry folks won't let us remember Charles like that. They made it their duty to show the man had a legend that the teenagers and 20-somethings who saw him in the commercials never understood. "Hotel Rwanda," with it's humanitarian disas ter being replayed in the Darfur region of Western Sudan today, would have been able to expose America to some thing that even Charles' fans know lit tle about. The Grammy people have less to explain. They did give Charles' album the Grammy over Usher, which only adds to their credibility. It's the Oscar part that I have a problem with. Oscar is notoriously political and yet, the Academy chose "Ray" over "Hotel Rwanda." So what is the moral? It's something no one is going to like to hear. One dead black man who enter tained America is worth more the 500,000 dead black men, women and children who did nothing for popular culture. The Oscars could make it up to us by giving Sophie Okonedo the Oscar for her role in "Hotel Rwanda." It would give her the opportunity to say the word "Sudan" on network TV with out interfering with more important news. You know, like that actress who was murdered in New York. Ethnic cleansing has nothing on a cute white girl. For more information on the above mentioned Darfur conflict go to SaveDarfur.org. make it out alive Step three: Make sure a large friend is with you. Preferably one who plays hockey and weighs over 250 pounds. The friend will be useful in breaking up the fight if it fails to go in your favor. He wild also provide a good means of subduing the offender, thus making it easier to land your accurately timed, merciful blows of justice to the offender's jaw. The only downside to having your big-boned friend with you is that he'll most likely consume most of your pizza. If the place turns into a warzone though, you'll find that you won't miss the slices he ate. Step four: Deny everything except how delicious the pizza was. If the police come, you should... (several paragraphs censored)... and finally say, "I've never seen that prosti tute, officer." Step five: Digest food. If indigestion occurs, take a TUMS. Boast to all your friends about your vic tory and enjoy the spoils of war. If you lost the fight use the age-old line, "You think I look bad? You should see that guy." Lick your wounds only when your male friends aren't looking and exploit all battle scars to achieve pity points from female friends. Andy McNeil's idi otic column appears once every three weeks...thank gosh!
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