I The Behrend Beacon
The Behrend Beacon
Published Weekly h\ the ttkleuts or Penn State Erie
beaconllll Fil NI)
Penn State Erie,
The Behrend College
First Floor, The J• Elmer Reed Union Building
Jackson to marry little
boy:
or is
Valentine's Day is probably the
most loving yet cruel holiday ever.
For those of us who had Valentines,
it was a glorious day to celebrate
just how beautiful you are and to
get chocolate for it. On the other
hand, for those of us who didn't
have a Valentine, it was a bottom
less pit of Ben and Jerry's.
Fortunately, for me, my day was
on the up and up as I received four
ounces of pure milk chocolate,
shaped like roses of course, though
just a huge hunk of chocolate
would have worked just the same.
And then there's Mary Kay
LeTourneau and Vili Fualaau, the
eternal pedophilic couple. For
those readers that don't remember,
let me refresh your memory.
LeTourneau, 34 at the time, was
convicted of second-degree child
rape when it was discovered that
she was having a sexual relation
ship with her 12-year-old elemen
tary school student. She was preg
nant with Fualaau's first child
when she was sentenced to six
months in prison.
After being released, she was
then caught having sexual relations
with Fualaau in her car. She then
pleaded guilty to two charges of
child rape in 1997, forcing her to
give birth to Fualaau's second child
in prison while serving her 7.5-
year sentence.
It gets better. LeTourneau
already had four kids. No they
weren't to another 12-year-old,
though that wouldn't surprise me,
but to her then husband.
Even though this is all very inter
esting, the big news is that the cou
ple has announced plans to wed.
They set a date for April 16 of this
year. Noel Soriano, a friend of the
couple was quoted as saying, "It's
been a long time coming. It's
going to be glorious seeing them
get hitched finally." She then went
on to gush, "They've gone through
so much. That they lasted this long
proves how strong their love is."
Back up here, Noel. Let's just
review the facts. LeTourneau is 22
years older than Fualaau. Some
may say that age doesn't matter
when it comes to love. Forgive me
if I'm wrong, but he was 12 when
they started having sex. He hadn't
Daniel J• Stasiewski, Editor in Chief
Amy Frizzell, Managing Editor
Courtney Kaplin, Advertising Manager
Alyssa Peconi, Public Relations Manager
Dr. Cathy Roan, Adviser
News Editor
Brad Stewart
Assistant News Editor Calendar Page Editor
Dan Snedden Rob Frank
Sports Editors
Sam Cibula
Sara Kamber
Opinion Editor
Andy McNeil
Photography Editor
Danielle Faulkner
Station Road, Erie, PA 16563
Contact the Beacon at:
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it LeTourneau?
She was also married and had
four kids. Her kids were probably
in the same grade as Fualaau. Talk
about an uproar at the soccer mom
meetings. Who I feel bad for is the
husband; at least the kids will have
an extra play mate. The husband,
however, is going to have to deal
with not only the fact that his wife
cheated on him, but with a 12-year
old. That poor guy is going to be
popping Levitra like candy.
It's pretty much common sense
that this woman had problems. I
can only think of one other person
that falls in love with little boys.
Which reminds me, remember this
one: What do K-Mart and Michael
Jackson have in common? Boys'
pants half off. Ba, born, ching!
Let's forget LeTourneau for a
minute. What was this kid think
ing? Imagine it; you're 12 years
old and your 34-year-old teacher is
hitting on you. Well, I'm assuming
she hit on him seeing as I still
know guys that couldn't possibly
fathom talking to a girl their age let
alone someone 22 years older than
them. To get back to the point, this
kid must be really smooth to have
hooked a woman at 12 years of
age.
Finally, lady Noel, does she not
realize what happened? Her com
ments on this "glorious hitching"
as she calls it only leads me to two
questions. How old is she? And
how old is the kid she's dating?
Student Life Editor
Lori DeFabio
Copy Editors
Lacy Buzard
Jenn Haight
Sarah Weber
Beacon Assistant
Carolyn M. Tellers
Amy Frizzell
managing editor
even gone through puberty yet. In
fact, she caught him right at the
beginning of it. I guess she
thought those sex ed videos
weren't informative enough.
OPINION
Academy checks out of 'Hotel Rwanda'
- When Ray Charles died last year, I
doubt he would have envisioned eight
Grammy Awards and six Oscar nomi
nations all in his name. The 2005 award
season has been good to the late, great
Ray Charles. And it's only going to get
better. The question is, how important
is Charles to the movie industry when a
more important film could have made
the Best Picture nominees list.
I don't hate "Ray." I think it is a
beautiful, if merely a quintessential
biopic. The film isn't well edited, run
ning a bit long without ever really
telling a story. Taylor Hackford isn't a
visionary director, though he does his
best work to date with this movie. At
best, "Ray" is great movie, but it isn't
outstanding.
"Hotel Rwanda," the film that need
ed to be nominated, is a different film
entirely. It's a great film, with great act
ing, whose sole purpose is not to glori
fy a celebrity, but to shed light on the
way the Western world feels toward
Africa. When genocide happens in
Africa. Americans don't care and the
U.N. calls it something else so there
isn't military intervention. The conflict
between the Hutus and the Tutsis in
Rwanda is something American's need
ed to know about because an analogous
event is going on today in the Sudan.
The film's critical view of the West for
its apathy is even more important.
"Ray" was a popular favorite and the
death of Charles (with Universal's
Oscar machine) made the film a Best
Picture contender. Smaller contenders
barely stood up to it. Most people did
n't see "Hotel Rwanda." so the political
film without an audience didn't stand a
chance. It had enough emotional
impact to trump its own rough film-
Pizza shop warzones:
Every Thursday during woduction
night in the Beacon Office, vt order in
pizza. As college students, we eat more
pizza than the Teenage Mutant Ninja
Turtles, but what happens when an
average boozy trip to get pizza goes
awry? You never know when a strug
gle to the death. may ensue between
crazed and hungry drunks. I am pre
pared to train you in the arts of the
pizza shop tight club. Bow to your sen
sei, bow to your sensei!
Step one: Secure the pizza.
How do the Turtles fight dozens of
members of the Foot Clan at once?
Pizza power. Pizza is composed main
ly of dough which is a great source of
carbohydrates. Carbohydrates give you
energy to do all sorts of tasks, including
mortal combat. The cheese provides
muscle building proteins necessary for
strength. Tomato sauce is chock-full of
vitamin A which is good for eyesight.
The fact that you haven eaten your
pizza before your enemy is vital
because you'll be energized and ready
to rock. You'll also have energy to run
from the police or from a vicious mob
rallying to lynch you.
Step two: Find a just cause to fight
for.
Never start a pizza shop fight. But if
one comes knocking at your door and
you have no way out quickly, find a just
cause. Offended girlfirends are very
useful in justifying a fight. If the
Letter to the Egitor
President
congratulates
students
Dear opinion editor,
On behalf of the student body, I
would like to congratulate James
Cammarata and Erin Daquelente on
being crowned Homecoming King and
Queen. Thanks to all who voted,
attended the dance and game and a spe
cial thank you to all those who organ
ized this up and coming Behrend tradi
tion.
Sincerely, Scott M. Soltis
Student Government Association
President
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Daniel J. Stasiewski
editor in chief
making which put it in the race for a
Best Picture nomination that it ulti
mately lost. The four other nominees,
"The Aviator," "Sideway," "Finding
Neverland" and "Million Dollar Baby,"
had Oscar written all over them. Then
there's "Ray," nomination by celebrity
death.
As with the film, Charles' Starbuck's
produced collaboration album wasn't a
critical smash, nor was it a tremendous
ly popular album in the Usher/Alicia
Keyes sense of the word. There is,
however, a feeling of reverence in giv
ing a dead man an award he'll never
see. It does more for the Music
Academy and Film Academy than for
the man (though the cash, I'm sure, will
be eagerly accepted by his estate). The
groups look good because they have the
tact to give out the Oscar or the
Grammy to the right guy at the right
time.
"Hotel Rwanda" needs an audience
while "Ray" doesn't. "Ray" is a film
that, while it does pay tribute to
Andy McNeil
opinion editor
alleged offender has continued banter
ing on, offending her, long after you
have politely asked him to leave, you
are in the clear to do the two-fisted man
dance.
Make sure you have tried all paths to
avoid fighting. If there is no possible
alternative, look around the room for
possible useful barriers and weapons.
A pinball machine provides great lever
age for off-balancing your opponent.
Empty pizza pans make great weapons
to throw. Be sure to let your attacker
swing first so as to have the "self
defensie" aspect on your side. Be sure
to clear all girls who are not of appro
priate fighting size out of the battle
Friday, February 18, 2005
Charles, doesn't say much more than
Charles was a musician with a drug
problem. For Christ's sakes he was
doing commercial for the PA lottery not
one year before the movie was
released.
The entertainment industry folks
won't let us remember Charles like
that. They made it their duty to show
the man had a legend that the teenagers
and 20-somethings who saw him in the
commercials never understood. "Hotel
Rwanda," with it's humanitarian disas
ter being replayed in the Darfur region
of Western Sudan today, would have
been able to expose America to some
thing that even Charles' fans know lit
tle about.
The Grammy people have less to
explain. They did give Charles' album
the Grammy over Usher, which only
adds to their credibility. It's the Oscar
part that I have a problem with. Oscar is
notoriously political and yet, the
Academy chose "Ray" over "Hotel
Rwanda." So what is the moral?
It's something no one is going to like
to hear. One dead black man who enter
tained America is worth more the
500,000 dead black men, women and
children who did nothing for popular
culture. The Oscars could make it up to
us by giving Sophie Okonedo the Oscar
for her role in "Hotel Rwanda." It
would give her the opportunity to say
the word "Sudan" on network TV with
out interfering with more important
news. You know, like that actress who
was murdered in New York. Ethnic
cleansing has nothing on a cute white
girl.
For more information on the above
mentioned Darfur conflict go to
SaveDarfur.org.
make it out alive
Step three: Make sure a large friend
is with you.
Preferably one who plays hockey and
weighs over 250 pounds. The friend
will be useful in breaking up the fight if
it fails to go in your favor. He wild also
provide a good means of subduing the
offender, thus making it easier to land
your accurately timed, merciful blows
of justice to the offender's jaw.
The only downside to having your
big-boned friend with you is that he'll
most likely consume most of your
pizza. If the place turns into a warzone
though, you'll find that you won't miss
the slices he ate.
Step four: Deny everything except
how delicious the pizza was.
If the police come, you should...
(several paragraphs censored)... and
finally say, "I've never seen that prosti
tute, officer."
Step five: Digest food.
If indigestion occurs, take a TUMS.
Boast to all your friends about your vic
tory and enjoy the spoils of war. If you
lost the fight use the age-old line, "You
think I look bad? You should see that
guy."
Lick your wounds only when your
male friends aren't looking and exploit
all battle scars to achieve pity points
from female friends. Andy McNeil's idi
otic column appears once every three
weeks...thank gosh!