Thursday, October 26,1995 Dear Amy and Cathy... Dear Amy and Cathy: I am a graduating senior and have no clue what to do afterwards. My degree is in English which is about as useful as a used napkin. What do I do? I feel like a stereotype of Generation X. I’m lost. I’m bored. And I’m starting not to care. Dear Lost: While you may feel like a stereotype of Generation X, as long as you have shown a little restraint and limited the number of visible body piercings and tattoos, there is still hope for you. However, you are right about your English degree being as useful as a used napkin. We say quit crying and blow your nose in it. It’s time to move on to phase two-finding a paying job in the real world. In empathy of your plight (as some of us will soon be following in your footsteps), we have diligently searched the want ads and compiled the following list of jobs your Behrend education has prepared you for... -gas pump jockey -crop duster -exotic dancer -mime -shrubbery shaper -street vendor -ant farmer —psychological test subject -crash test dummy -department store mannequin And if worse comes to worse, you can always grab the nearest copy of “Moby Dick” and lead your followers to the sea. So just remember, no matter how lost you are once you leave Behrend campus, as long as you leave a trail of bread crumbs, eventually some other poor, starving undergrad will find you. *Amy Jo Huffman and Cathy Major are both 07 English majors Send your questions for Amy and Cathy to The Collegian office by Saturday morning. PQNI "Jfcnttlij JSA SGhE A’uiASCi.’V.Vl CAV:' flacapl* USA Opinion ***************** „ J t Dear Amy and Cathy your life a little easier (and ours), we have polled the more successful Behrend lounge lizards and compiled the following list of the seven most effective pick-up lines...(*there were ten but according to regulations, we could only print seven—ed’s note) 7. Excuse me. Do you have a quarter? My mom told me to call her when I met the girl/guy of my dreams. 6. If I had made the alphabet, sweetheart, I’d have put U & I together. S. (If target is wearing Guess? jeans) If I guess right, do I win what’s inside? 4. You know, that dress looks good. But I bet it would look even better cumpled on my floor in the morning. 3. The two things I like best about you are your ears and your ankles don’t we put them together? 2. Do you believe in love at first sight...or should I walk by again? 1. My lips are like the Energizer Bunny. They’ll keep you coming and coming and coming. Now, get out there and put these lines to good use. And just remember, no matter how desperate you are ther is always someone out there more desperate, more lonely, and (most importantly) drunker than you are. So, chin up and happy hunting. I am a first semester freshman and am having the worst luck in the romance department. I haven’t had a date since I’ve arrived at Behrend and I’m beginning to think I’m cursed or something. Do you have any advice for me? Dear Cursed: I am sure we can all relate (well, okay maybe some of us can’t, but...) to your plight. Anyway, the one thing we upperclassmen know is the only thing more annoying than a freshman is a frustrated freshman. So, in order to make Page \\ lO
Significant historical Pennsylvania newspapers