Tie Forest Republican If published every Wednesday, by J. E. WENK. Offloe In Sme wbanffh ft Co.'i Buildln j ELM STREET, TIONESTA, PA. Tefmi, - 9I.OO lor Year. Ho subscriptions received tor shorter period than throe mouths. Correspondence, lollaite 1 from ill parts of lb eouatry. No noiloe will be taken oi anonymous oorumunlculon. RATES OF ADVERTISINGS For T Republican. One Square, one Inch, one iiuertioa.. One rquare, one inch, one month. .. One f quart, one inch, three months . . One .-quire, one inch, one year.,... two Squares, one yeir.... Quarter Column, one year...., . Wait Column, one rear....... 100 oo BOO 10 00 15 OO 9U00 SO 00 One Column, one year.. 100 00 LaJ advertisements ten oente per line rsch insertion. Marriages and risith notices gratis . All bills for yearly advertisements collected quarterly Temporary advertisement must be paid in advance. Job work cash on deliver'. VOL. XXXI. NO. 13. TIONESTA, PA., WEDNESDAY, JULY 13, 1898. 1.00 PER ANNUM. es Aocording to Ziun's Herald the Methodists iu New England numbered 158,628 in 1897, a gain of eight per cent, since 1800. "Westward the stnr of empire takes ita way," has beeu the watchword for centuries. The trend of events has not chauged its course, although the Stars and Stripes of the United States iu their westward journey now hang over a portion of the Orient. Mexico's first cotton factory was started in 1831, ton years later tfhere were fifty factories, where to-day there aro more thau 101). In the majority of factories the work hours are from six a. ni. to nine p. m., with' two in tervals for meals amounting together to au hour and a half. . ' The yard number of the new battle ship Alalmina is 200, which was the yard number of tho famous Confed erate cruiser built iu an English ship yard during the war. If the new war ship achieves us brilliant a record un der the old flag as her predecessor did against it, the name will bo historic in our navy, comments tho New York Commercial Advertiser, Under the unfavorable conditions that have so long nxisted the exports from the Philippines to the United States have amounted on an average to $1,000,000 per month, and accord ing to Mr. Oscar Williams, until re oently United States Consul at Mauila, this amount exceeds that to all other countries combined, and this, too, in the faoe of tho fact that Germany is said to hold commercial supremacy in the islauds. No incident of the present stirring times is of more universal interest than tho drawing together of Great Britain and the United States.. In Now York one sees the American flag everywhere, tho lone star of Cuba fre quently, and iu many instances hung out in company with both of them the (lag of Great Britain. Iu a letter from a friend of Harper's Weekly it is mentioned as an iustince of tho way in which the British and the Ameri can ure getting mixed that Lord Sandhurst, who has held high com mands in India and dealt with great efficiency with the plague in Bombay, "is a descendant of General Samuel Smith, of Baltimore, who fought the British stoutly in two wars." - While interest in tho Klondike has subsided sinoe the war, the nature o' tho developments there is such as would throw people during ordinary times into a fever of excitement and bring on a rush. The spring clean-np began last April at Bonanza and El Dorado creeks, and there is no change in the early estimates of the yield. The adventurous classes of this coun try aro too much absorbed in the war to leave for tho frozen North while it is on, and by tho time the Spanish trouble comes to an end it is likely to bo too late iu ' the season to start. Besides, all but one or two of tho roomy passenger vessels intended for the Alaskan route will become trans ports, and there will bo small accom modations for gold-field passengers. But look out for the summer of 1899 if the output of 1898 is what the ex perts say it will be. Var being over, as we may safely hope, the rnsh north ward will fully make up for the lost time. Says the Chicago Times-Herald: Feminine fashion as an effective ele ment in warfare is one of the unique is sues that have come to the front in these history making days. The wo men of Washington, it seems, have re solved themselves into a patr'otio league for the purpose of inducing their fair fashionable friends all over the country not to buy French millinery. This .bellicose boycott of the much adored Parisian bonnet is intended as international retaliation, inasmuch as France has assumed a friendly attitude toward Spain iu the presentunpleasoht ' ness. It will mean, it is said, an an nual Jpss of 850,000,000 to French im porters. But they the women love theirtconutry more than the coveted pieces of headgear, and so this odd un dertaking of.the fair patriots progresses with a long list of prestiged patron esses in the National Capital. This is not tjjg first time feminine headgear has played a part iu history. As far back as 500 years ago it was a constant worry to the mandate-making sterner suf. One conspicuous instance is the royal decree of Louis XI., who ex cluded the monstrous hat of fair fad dists from both church nnd court. Woman's headgear is, without doubt, a powerful piece of human ingenuity, aud this neoteric movement, as an in teresting demonstration of the relative influence of the bonnet and tho bullet, may commend itself to the liberty-lov in? ladies of the land. THE REST Give every man his aharo Of sorrow or of Rice, And bo will wonder where Tho other part can be. It rain be halt bis lot He tries to mskea jetd ot It. It serves to warn hint not; He wants to know the rest of It. Give woman half a lilut Of bow the srandnl goes, And she will never stint When telling wbat she knows. One tells the story straight. Another what she guessed ot It; Tim others watob and wait. They want to know the rest of It. THE WINGED DEATH. 0 HAD been for some little time engaged, through a medical agency, in . doing substitute work iu different parts of England, when I re ceived a summons by telegram to go and take temporary charge of a practice in the suburbs of Bradford. The ad dress was that of a Dr. Wolford, who had died suddenly two days before, but beyond this I had no information. was met at the Bradford Midland ttatiou by a surly looking individual, who, saying that his nnme was Sug den, and that he was the late Dr. Wolford'a dispenser, at once suggest ed that we should go and have a drink. I looked sharply at the man, and what I saw prompted me to decline, on the plea that I must look after my luggage, I have formed the habit (a dangerous one, by the way) of judg ing by first impressions, and already I kuew that I should dislike this man. I cononaled this feeling, however, and during the drive from tbe station en deavored to learn something about the manuer of Dr. Wolford'a death; but as I recoived only monosyI!abic replies from my companion, I soon gave up the attempt at conversation. On our arrival at the house I was at once shown into the diniug room, where Mrs. Wolford was waiting to receive me. "Oh, Dr. Meldrnra!" sho cried, as she came forward to greet me; "you cau't thiuk how glad I am to see you. I've been counting the hours till you could be here." The warmth of this welcome rather surprised me, but I murmured some suitable reply, and expressed my re gret for the sad occurrence which had made my presence necessary. At the meution of her husband's name Mrs. Wolford'a eyes tilled with tears. "Yes," she said, simply; "it was very sudden, and very, very cruel," And theu, with a sudden keen glance np into my face, she added: "Aro yon clever, Dr. Meldrum? clever in your profession, I mean; because there is a problem in this house to be solved that will need a clever man. Oh, Dr. Meldru'n, I wonder whetheryou know what it is to be without a friend whom you cou trust!" At this point sho showed signs of breaking down altogether, but with a stroug effort restrained herself. "You wonder why I ask you these ques tions?" she went on. "You think me hysterical but I'm not, doctor." "No," said I, though iu point of fact I did think so. "I recognize that you are anxious that your husband's practice should be in competent hands, and from what I have seen of the dis penser " She interrupted me with a gesture. "It's not that," she said, impatiently; and then, after a slight pause: "Dr. Meldrnm, I'm afraid!" "Afraid?" said I. "Of what?" "Afraid for my boy's life aud my own." The terror in her voice as she said these words was very real. ' - "Is your son ill?" I asked. "Yes. Will you come and see him now? There is just time before din ner." I expressed my readiness, and we went upstairs to the boy's bedroom. On the way Mrs. Wolford explained that this was her only child, ten years old; and added, tearfully that if she were to lose him too, as well as her husband, Bhe would die. We found the boy sleeping quietly; without waking him I took his temperatnre, but found no indication of feverish ness, and this,. I pointed out to his mother, was, in a child, a fairly con clusive proof that at present there was not much the matter. "Thank heaven for that!" sho said, earnestly. "What do you fear?" I asked. There was a Bound of some one opening and shutting the door of the room next to the one in which we were. The footsteps came along the passage and paused at onr door. In stead of answering me, Mrs. Wolford, who seemed to be listening intently, wrote with her finger on the counter pone the one word "Poison !" Then we heard the footsteps pass on, and go downstairs. "Come," said Mrs. Wolford, after a slight pause; "when you have washed we will go down to dinner. Yon must be hnugry, and I just now heard Mr. Sngden leave his room, so he'll be waitingforns." After my experience iu the cab I quite expected that the conversation at dinner would be mostly between Mrs. Wolford and myself; but in this I was wrong, for Sngden who in the presence of the lady seemed quite to have thrown off the eccentrio morose ness of manner which I had put down to semi-intoxication, talked continu ously aud well, and proved himself an exceedingly interesting and well-in-formet coinpaniou so long, that is, as Mrs. WoIforU remained witu us. As eiov, however, as she had left the OF IT. Give any growing boy- A watch, and t hero's no doubt 'Twill be bis vandal Joy To turn It Inside out. lie Isn't satisfied To merely be possessed of It, ' Thn watch looks well outside; lie wants to know tho rest of it. And so the story poos Through nil the alphabet. No wit or science throws A light upon It yot. The problnm's in our hand. We ought to make the best of it. But still, you understand. We want to know tbe rest of It. room, his behavior underwent a com plete change. He became sullen at once, and did not trouble to observe even the ordinary courtesies of the dinner table for my benefit. One incident I meution, because of its bearing on the tragody which oc curred later. There was a big Persian oat in the room, which Sugdeu seemed to take a strange delight iu teasing to a point of fury. Finally, in its strug gles to get away from his rough hand ling, the cat scratched his left thumb, deeply enough to draw a good deal of blood, and got a savage slap for doing it, and the dispenser got np and left me, slamming the door behind him as he went. Hardly had he left tho room when Mrs. Wolford returned, and in a low, frightened voice asked me to come at once aud see her son. "Certainly," said I; "but what is the matter?" . . "He's in a fit of some sort. And, oh, Dr. Meldrnra, I'm afraid horri bly afraid of that sinister man!" His nurse was standing by tho bed tide as we entered the boy's bedroom, holding his hand, and trying to keep him covered by the bedclothes, which iu his convulsive movements he con tinually threw off. At onr approach she made way for ns and went over to the fireplace. The first glance I took at my little patient told me that it was no trivial child's ailmeut that I had to treat; the muscles of his face were drawn and sot, and his limbs were stretched out straight and rigid. I had hardly time to note these symp toms, however, before the paroxsym passed, aud the boy lay panting and exhausted, and almost immediately dropped iuto a sound sleep. "Send that womau away," I whis pered to Mrs. Wolford. "You can go to your supper, Jane," said the lady. ' "Dr. Meldrum aud I will stay with Master Koland." "Now," said I, wheu the nurse had gone, "how many of these attacks has he had?" "Three, to-day. The first came on about 11 o'clock, just after he had had his lunch." "What did he have?" "Some strawberries, which I bought for him myself." "No one conld have tampered with them, I suppose?" "Quite impossible," said Mrs. Wol ford, decidedly. "I brought them straight np to this room, and he ate them about half au hour afterward. I did not have occasion to leave the room iu the interval, so that the fruit was in my sight the whole time until he had it." "Strange," said I. "What else has he had?" "Nothing that I have not prepared for him with my own hands," replied Mrs, Wolford, emphatically; and then, with a little cry, "Haven't I told you that I, too, suspected poison? Doctor, what is the poison?" "Strychnine," I answered; "at least, I think so, but the symptoms are not absolutely characteristic. He had not had enough, fortunately, to be fatal, provided we can prevent him having any more. But tell me what made you enspect poison?" "Because," said Mrs. Wolford, "his father had a similar attack, though a much milder one, tho night before he died." "But," said I, incredulously, "I was told that your husband died of heart disease." "Yes! he died of heart disease the doctors say so; but how am I to be sure that they are right? He was found dead in his study chair. No one saw him die; and there will be no inquest." "But about your boy," said I; "why do you suspect Mr. Sngden of wish ing him harm?" At this question Mrs. Wolford, strangely enough, seemed confused. She hesitated, begau sentences which she did not finish, and then, in a sort of defiant rush, gave me three or four very feminine aud, to my mind, abso lutely unconvincing reasons for think ing as she did. I was puzzled by this peculiar change ia her manner. I said nothing, however, and a move ment on the part of onr patient put an end to what threatened to beoome an awkward silence. The boy was awake and complaining of thirst. His moth er ran to a cupboard, and, opening it with a key which she took from her pocket, brought out a plate of calves foot jelly. "I made this myself, doctor," she declarod, "and have kept it locked up, so it will be safe to give him it." "There's a wasp having some of it, mnramio,"' said the boy, and I was pleased to notice that the painful symptoms which had shown them selves before were now gone. The muscles of his face were still slightly drawn, but that was all. Mrs. Wol ford took a spoon and knocked the wasp, together with the part of tho jelly which it had attacked, into the fire, and then feu the boy witu the re' maimler. After he had had it he went to sleep at once. J Presently Mrs. wolford went away 0 to prepare some more food to be ready I for him when be should wake again, and I meanwhile nudertook to stay with him. I was musiug over the difficulties of this peculiar case, when I suddenly became aware of a buzzing sound in tbe room, which I presently traced to another wasp which had somehow found its way in. Now, I have an intense dislike to wasps, so when, after a few circuits of the room, the insect found the remains of the jelly on the plate by the boy's bedside, aud settled down to enjoy this, I killed it with a flick of my handkerchief. Hardly, however, had I done so when I again heard a buzz ing, and it Boemed to me that this time the sound came from behind a wardrobe iu one corner; it was not continuous, but was intermittently sandwiched iu between intervals of si- leuce, as though another wasp were imprisoned there, and were making spasmodio efforts to get out. I went to reconnoitre, and presently the yel low insect crawled out, aud escaping the blow which I aimed at it, started in its tnrn to perform the irritatingly sonorous voyage of discovery round the room. Then a strange thought Btruck me. Why should there be thU succession of wasps coming thus mysteriously iuto a bedroom long after the hour when these insects, in the ordinary course of things, would be abroad? And why? I looked at the jelly. The third wasp had already settled upon it. Great heavens! was this the clue for which I had been seeking? I examined the wardrobejagain. It concealed a door which communicated with the next room Mr. Sugden's! My suspicions were being rapidly con firmed. With a feeling almost of elation I took an empty tumbler, and carefully inverting it over the jelly dish, im prisoned the busily feeding wasp, And theu I rang the bell. Mrs. Wolford answered the sum mons herself. I showed her the wasp and explaining that I had formed a somewhat strange notion about it, asked her to stay with Ronald while I went to my room to test my theory. Ten minutes later I was in Sug den's room. I went in without know ing and, taking no notice of his pres ence, walked straight np to the door of communication between his room and Bouald's and examined it. Fixed iu a corner of one of tho panels I found a funnel-shaped piece of tin. My hypothesis was almost proved now, for this plainly was the path by which the wasps bad entered, and the an alysis I had hurriedly made of the fragments of jelly told me only too clearly the murderous errand on which they had been sent. A low, chuckling laugh behind me caused me to turn sharply round, and a cold shiver ran down my spine at what I saw. Sugdeu was covering me with a revolver, aud the gleaming bar rel was within six inches of my face! "So, Dr. Meldrnm," he began, slowly, watching me the while with an evil, cat-like alertness, "you have been spying upon me? No, I wonldn't try a rnsh, if I were you ; you might get hurt. This revolver is really loaded." He spoke quietly, but there was a gleam in his eyes which I knew and feared, for I had seen it once before in a time of dauger shining in the glances of a homicidal maniac. "I must congratulate you, Dr. Mel drum," he went on, "upon your acu men, for I see you have suspected my little winged messengers of doath. What, by the way, is the death which they carry? Did you find out? Strychnia? no, Dr. Meldrnm, not that. It was something much more deadly than strychnia, though its effects are, I grant you, similar. What do you thiuk of ptomaines the poison that is bred of putrefaction? More artistic than your stryohnia, I think, and infinitely more deadly; for I ve improved on the book methods of prep aration, I may tell you, and this lit tle 4-onnce jar (which contains merely a scientifically prepared putrefaction of a rabbit's brain) will kill yon if you so much as dip a scratched finger into it." He had laid down the -revolver while he spoke, and I thonght I saw my chauce. With a quick movemeut I tried to grab it, but he was quicker; and, almost before I had risen from my chair the revolver was in his hand, and he had me covered again. But he had not expected that I would make the attempt, aud the start which he gave caused him to spill his horri ble liquid, which trickled lowly over his left hand, and fell iu big, oily drops npou the floor. "Too bad of you, Dr. Meldrum," he said, with mock chargriu, "to make me spill ray elixir of death; before it has finished its work, too! Ah, well, it has not been altogether wasted, since one victim has fallen alrsaly by its means. You doubt me? I assure yon I speak the truth the late Dr. Wolford is my witness." "You sneering fiend!" I cried, in on access of hysterical fury, "you lio! He died of heart disease." "And shall I tell yon why he died?" weut ou the maniac, with rising ex citement. "I loved the woman he married; loved her for years; loved her long before he ever met her. Sho kuew this and Bhe scorned me. "And now, Dr. Meldrum, you hove thonght good to come in my way! Well, - I have five shots in this pistol one for yon, one for the boy, one for the mother, tho fourth for my self and the fifth iu reserve, iu case any of the others should chance to miss. Shall I use them now? No, I'm in a quixotic mood to-night. I'll take you on level terms!" With a wild laugh he fired the five shots into the grate, and then, throw ing pistol to the floor, sprang, tiger like at my throat. He was a stronger man than I, and he bore me down: but, in a moment, even iu the very act of his rush, an agony of terror seized him. His grasp on my throat relaxed, he gave a wild shriek of tor ment, and then his muscles quivered and stiffened, and his body bent back ward like a bow. His own vile drng, stealing into his blood though the opening door left by the scratch of a tormented cat npon his thumb, had seized him in its cruel grip, and before the ser vants, alarmed by the sound of the shots, had time to reach the room, he was lying before me dead, slain by the venom of his own brewing. Tit Bits. SCIENTIFIC AND INDUSTRIAL. A newly discovered spot ou the bui is said to be 30,000 miles in diameter. A microbe thot lives and multiplies in strong alcohol has been discovered by Veley. Dr. Albert C. Peale reports to the Government that there are 8822 known mineral springs in the United States. Anthracite coal discovered at his torio Kings Mountain, North Coro lina, shows an analysis of ninety-five per cent, of carbon. The German timber trade has in creased enormously with the advent of railways through the Black Forest, the Odenwald and theThuringenwald. Mahogany is now very generally substituted for hickory in the manu facture of wagon wheels in France, it being found cheaper aud quite as dur able. The number of stars visible to the naked eye is less than 6000. The num ber of stars visible through the largest telescopes is probably not less than 100,000,000. The cylindrical bales of cotton now shipped from the United States to Liverpool are pronounced a great im provement upon the first specimens, and also npon the old bale. The course of the blood-vessels in dead animals or birds is now examined by the X-rays. In order to make the arteries, etc., give a photograph, or "radiograph," they are first injected with mercury. Very beautiful results have been thus attaiued. There are twenty-six pencil works in Bavaria, of which twenty-three are in Nuremberg, the great Enropenn centre of the lead pencil trade. These fac tories employ from 8000 to 10,000 workers, aud produce 4,300,000 lead and colored chalk pencils every week. The Snssman electrio miner's lamp, recently tried with success in Belgium, oonsists of a small accumulator of two cells, with au incandescent lamp at tached. It burns for twelve or sixteen hours and give a light from two and a half to five times brighter than the ordinary miner's lamp. It keeps alight in any position and is not ex tinguished by a current of air or an explosion. Peat is treated in an English pro cess, patented by Mr. Blundell, by being formed into paste, molded into tubes four or five inches through, then cut into sticks and dried for three or four weeks. Thus prepared, the ma terial can be nsed as fuel, or it can be more profitably made into oharooal iu retorts. Three tons of peat make one ton of charcoal. The process is to be tested in Italy, where are large de posits of peat. English and American Workmen. The London Timos, iu a recent issne, publishes the report of a conversation between an English engineer and au American manufacturing engineet upon tho relative industrial condition; of the two countries, and comments at some length upon the facts revealed. The American, as was to hove been expected, dwelt npon the superiority of the American workman and ma chinery and ou what an economio writer of ability characterized as the "cheapness of high wages." He al leged that the American workman re ceives higher wages, but the labon saving machinery makes possible a profitable export trade. As a matter of fact, the high wages, more than any other factor iu the industrial life of the country, make ' the profitable ex port trade possible. The high wages command the services of tbe best mechanics in the world, and the greater the skill of the artisan the larger the product of his labor and the less the waste from his work. The superior labor-saving machinery in this coun try has a good deal to do with the growing exports of manufactured pro ducts, but the most important ageucy of all is the higher wages. Industrial World. The Uses of Paraffin. The marked chemical indifference of paraffin aud paraffin wax has led to its introduction in conuection with t large number of industries. It is em ployed for liniug wooden and metal vessels for acids, and voltaic batteries, in electrio insulation, iu coatinj splints and other appliances subject to septio influences, as a vehicle fot fulminate iu the manufacture ol matches, as a covering for cartridges, for preserving fruits and vegetables by forming a coating over their sur face, and for an almost endless variotj of similar purposes. It is also used extensively in the manufacture of cou dies, for securing a high polish on clothes iu laundries, anl for water proofing paper and fabrics. One Vli-w of a Mooted Point. It may be said that the little won "My" placed before the word "dear has a significance of its own. When used between the ladies thus: "Mj dear Mrs. A." it is to devote au oxtro ainonut of cordiality and friendliness, and again when a gentleman so write to a lady of his acquaintance, it hat the same reading. On tho other baud, "My dear Mr. B." is seldom or nevet written by ladies to their men ac quaintances, "Dear Mr. B." being considered sufficiently affectionate. Elderly ladies, however, are outsidt this rule, and write "My dear Mr. B." to men whom they have known at boys. Philadelphia North American, THE MERRY SIDE OF LIFE. STORIES THAT ARE TOLD BY THE FUNNY MEN OF THE PRESS. Uvforo nnd Afler The IMace to Lo k How Itumors Cirow No Cause Fot Alnnn Her Honker A Test of Iullo. nice tils Lament, i:tc. Etc. When wo were two by the summer son, Just ono umbrella would do ah me! Now we nro one, nnd when ftoro3 are rough. Even two umbrellas nro not enough. Chicago llecord. The 1'liiro to I.ook. Tenspot "The dogs of war aro showing their teeth." Pcrkasie "You Cud them in tho caunou's mouth." Detroit Freo Press. lie fore the Knemr. "But, Mr. Blossom, you wouldn't run away if the enemy were ten to one, wonld you?" "Not if there was a handy hole to creep iuto, Miss Dolly." Piok-Mo-Up- No Cnnse For Alarm, Mrs. Youngwife "Mary, don't you put acid in tho water when you wash the clothes." Mary "Oh, yes'm, but don't worry me hands is used to it." Harlem Life. A Test of Influence. Irone "She seems to have very lit tlo influence with her husband." Mary "Indeed?" Irene "Yes; sho never can get hiiu to spend more than ho can afford." Puck. How Rumors Grow. Bill "I understand that you told Gill that you raised some potatoes on your place as big as my head." Jill "No; I never said as big as your head; only as big as your brain." Yonkers Statesman. tier Hunger. "How do you find the oysters, Miss Fragile?" "They are simply delicious, aud I am awfully hungry." "Walter, bring another plato of crackers." Roxbury Gazette. Ilnr Hest Impression. "WThat office does your husband hold in the lodge?" "He's the secretary." "Reoordiug or peruianont?" "Permanent, I guoss. He's held it sixteen years." Chicago Tribune. Not Like Other Debutantes. "Has your daughter made her debut yet, Mrs. Green?" "I don't thiuk Bhe has. She ain't obliged to make her own things, you know. We cau afford to buy the best." New York Commercial Advertiser. Willie Awheel. Nan "I was just thinking what a queer thing nature is. Now, of what use is that tail to the cow in winter timo, when there are no flies?" Fan "It may be of no use to tho cow, but what would wo do for oxtail soup?" ruck. Influence of Sympathy. "Why didu't you have the burglar arrested when you caught him iu your houss?" "My husband and he got to talking obout the war, and as they held the Bame opinions.my husband let him go." Chicago Record. No Lack of Attention. Miss New "I cau't get my watch to keep time properly." Jeweler "Perhaps it needs regula ting." Miss New "Surely not. I move the regulator over the entire scale every day." Jeweler's Weekly. Iter Mission. Mr. Utter "You seem to bo very fond of poetry, Miss Beacon ; I am sure you must have written some." Miss Beacon "Oh, no, Mr. Utter, mine is a far superior missiou." Mr. Utter "Indeed?" Miss Beacon "Yes, I inspire it." Brooklyn Life. Partially Consoled. Girl with the Pink Shirt Wuist "So Jack has enlisted! Didn't you hate dreadfully to see hiin go?" Girl with the Ice Cream Hat "It olmost broke my heart. I don't be lieve I conld have borne up at all if papa hadn't bought me a '98 wheel." Chicago Times-Herald. Ills Claim to Originality. "I don't see anything extraordinary about him!" said one young woman. "How did ho get his reputation for originolity?" "Oh," replied the other, "he's the .only man in our club who hasn't tried to moke a joke on Admiral Dewey's name." Detroit Free Press. Ilia Lament. First Citizen "Aftor all, it is a sod thing to see these men leaving family and friends for tho army, perhaps never to return." Second Citizen "Sad? It's terriblol Why, there's one man in the ranks that owes mo three mouths' grocery bill. And as you say, tho poor follow may never come back." Boston Transcript. Not Ills Permanent Home. He had admit tod that he didn't have much money, but that did not worry her at all. "You won't need much," sho said. "We'll live in nice little flat all by ourselves, and I will do the cooking. I can make you lovely angel's food." "Angel's food!" "Yes. Isn't that all right?" "Oil, yes, of course," he hastened to leply. "But but I'll have to come down to earth once in a while, yon know." For fully ai: hour he looked as if he were still doubtful about something. .-Cliii-aiio Post THE YARN OF TH BO'SUN'S MATE, "I'll tell you a tnlo," Bald tbe bo'sun's mate, "I'll tell you a title ot tbe sea; Slany yarns I've told Of the oeei.n bold. But the awfullest yarn thnt ever I told Ain't as bad as tbe tale I'll now unfold; And your bair'll be on end, and your blood run cold Your blood run cold," Hnid be, said be; Said tbe bo'sun's mate, said he. "The good ship Jano," Said the bo'iun's mate, "Was as stanch as a ship could be; Hhe sailed one night, With a cargo tight Ot the yellowest gold, which shone so bright. That Its shlulog blinded tbe steerman quite, Aud he ran on a rock that was out of slght- Twns out ot sight," Hnld be, said be, Bald tbe bo'sun's mate, said bo, "Now there he was," Hnld tbe bo'sun's mate, "With thesblp a leakin' free; Ho our strength we spent, For to tlx the dent But tho lovely gold, overboard It went, Which lightened the shin to thnt extent, That we floated off but without a cent. Without a cent," Haid be, said he, Bald the bo'sun's mute, satd be. "Oh, we all folt blue," Bald tbe bo'sun's mate, "And we dashed our eyes, did we; Huch au awful fate, As to lose our freight, Was a fearful thing for to contemplate, When a great idea struck my pate, And I says: 'Let's steal tho Golden Gutel' Let's steal the gate," Haid he, said be, Said the bo'sun's mate, said be. "Ho on we sailed," Hnid the bo'sun's mnte, " 'Till the Goldon Gate we see; And I hope I'll die If I tell a lie, When all was stilt and no one nigh, We yanked that gate oil on tbe fly. And sailed from Han Frnnolsoo sly; From 'Frlsoo sly," Bald be, said he, Said the bo'sun's mute, said be. "Now, what I say," Bald the bo'sun's mato, "Is as true as true can be; A jewelry store, Bought up the door It weighed a hundred ton or more And all of us had wealth galore Which shows you why I live ashore I live ashore," Hnid be, said be, Haid the bo'sun's mnte, said he. F. M. Ilanken, in Atlanta Constitution. HUMOR OF THE DAY. Clerk "It is just twenty years since I entered into your employ ment." Principal "That shows how patient I am." Fliegende Blaetter. "Do you think it makes much dif ference which planet a person is born uuder?" "Not a bit, so long as he keeps ou the earth." Brooklyn Life. Tom "Did your father-in-law set tle anything on you at your mar riage?" Benedict (dejectedly) "Yes; himself and his whole family!" Puck. "Men become what they cat," said Professor Graham. "Then I suppose pugilists ore developed from a diet of scraps," replied a forward student. Harlem Life. She "I heard about the elope ment. Has her mother forgiven them?" He "I think not. Iunder stand she has gone to live with them." Boston Traveler. Sauce "I saw a mau in a window making faces to-day." Simple "What was he doiug that for?" Sauce "For a couple of clocks. He is a jeweler." Tit-Bits. Little Bonnie -"Papa, what does repentance mcau?" Papa "Repent ance is tho sorrowful feeling that comes to the person after he gets caught at it." Chicago News. "Professor," said a graduate, try ing to be pathetic at parting, "I am indebted to you for all I know." "Pray do not mention such a trifle," was tho reply. Standard. Tedagogue "Conjugate the verb 'to do.' " Pupil "Do, Dewey, done." Pedagogue "Correct, my boy; you shall have a Manila hat next summer." Boston Trausoript. In tho autumn we lament the tree Which dies 'nonth skies so oblll and grav, JJut now It's even worse to see Our collars droop and fade nway. Washington Htar. Polico Judgo "This is the eighth time in a year you have been brought before me." Offender "I guess that's right; but it has always been a different policeman." Indianapolis Journal. Uncle John--"You don't mean to say that Hetty has takon up with that Gorbley fellow. Why, he's a regular cheap John." Aunt Jane "That's what I say, but he's very dear to Hetty." Boston Trunsoript. 'It is suid thnt people are not al lowed to whistle in the streets of Berlin." "Great Samson! How do the people over there relieve their pent-up feelings when a popular song takes hold of them?" Chicago News. ."1 hate to bother you, pa," said the small boy home for tho holidays, "but really I'd like to know " "Well, what?" "How is it that baby fish don't get drowned before they've learned to swim?" London Tit-Bits. "Pshaw," said the umu who didn't enlist. "I'm not afraid of war, aud while I didn't oiler my services to my country I'm going to prove my coiirugo by sponding my vacation at a seaside resort." Philadelphia North American. "Puw," asked tho little boy, "didu't you say in your speech thai you expected the map of the world tc bo changed soon?" "I think I did," said the orator. "Then wbat is the uso of my studyin' jogruphy?" Iu dianopolis Journal. Cowker "This war is affording op portunities for people to briiHU up their knowledge of geography.' Cuinso "Is it?" Cawker "It is. Only yesterday Sjirocketts discovered that Hampton Roads wcreu't good for cycliuu." Harper's Bazar.
Significant historical Pennsylvania newspapers