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Ask Louanne
Th£ Collegian's Advice Column
by Dr. Louanne Barton
Personal Counselor
fR LL HELP
Louanne has help
for hurt heart
Dear Louanne,
I'm a basket case. My girlfriend left me after 2 1/2 years.
She's seeing someone else and the guy's a real jerk. I can't
believe it! I'll be graduating next year, and we were going to
get married. Now nothing seems worth it anymore. I can't
sleep, and I can't concentrate on studying. It's been two weeks
and I still can't get on top of this. If this keeps up I won't even
graduate. I'm not the greatest looking guy in the world and not
very outgoing. The odds of my finding anyone else are pretty
slim. I feel like I'm going crazy! Help!
Dear Broken Hearted,
There seems to be a run on broken hearts this past month.
It's like the Saint Valentine's Day massacre. Someone once
told me that's why they put Valentine's Day in February, to
try to shore up relationships. At Pitt they even have a group
for the broken hearted.
What you're experiencing is a real crisis, one of the hardest
to face in life. It's like grieving over the death of a loved one
only harder because she's not really gone, seeing her keeps
reminding you of pain, and there's always that shred of hope
that maybe she’ll come back. We experience grief in stages
which include denial, anger, depression, and guilt. Finally, we
come to a kind of acceptance.
At first it does feel like you're losing your mind with
inability to concentrate and remember things, a tendency to
think obsessively about the situation, and feeling the urge to
cry all the time. Even suicidal thoughts can enter one's mind.
We think such thoughts as "It must have been my fault,"
"What did I do wrong?" or "I'm a worthless person and I'll
never find anyone else."
This grief process takes time. No, you're not going crazy.
What you are experiencing is normal in a situation like this.
Allow yourself to experience and express these feelings.
Believe it or not in time the pain will dull and a feeling of
acceptance will take over. Don't be too hard on yourself if you
can't concentrate on studying. Try studying shorter periods of
time and take more breaks if you have to. When you feel better
you can catch up. It helps to talk to friends or family. Keeping
busy helps too. Structure your day so you don’t have too much
time to sit home alone and think. As you begin to heal try
treating yourself to some new experience, taking some risks.
Do some of those things you always wanted to do, but didn't
because of your girlfriend, especially those things which will
help you meet new people.
The important thing to remember is you can live to love
again.
Send letters to:
Dr. Louanne Barton, Personal Counselor
Counseling and Advising Center
First floor Reed Building
Signed,
A Broken Heart
Louanne
The Collegian
From The Hip
There are worse things
to be than happy
A funny thing happened to me the other day.
Someone accused me of being too happy. Well,
maybe not actually being too happy, but writing too
happily. But I guess you could look at it both ways.
I think that's the first time I've ever heard
something that funny. And, as a matter of fact, that
ridiculous. In a depressed and trouble-filled, dying
world, I really don't think someone can be too happy
or write about things too happily.
In medialand, where our newspapers and our
newscasts are full of murder, rape, corruption,
unemployment, recession, failure and suicide, I can't
even begin to fathom how someone - anyone - can't
appreciate something uplifting every once in awhile.
Well, maybe I can. For some people it's just easier to
hide underneath all of those black clouds.
In a college where some of our peers are
incessantly depressed, brooding over nonsense,
complaining and moody, I can't even begin to grasp
the statement that anything uttered could be too
happy or anything written could be done too happily.
I still can't stop laughing over this utterly hilarious
statement. But I'd better stop my chuckling soon or
my happy bug might spread to others and that could
be disastrous! We sure don't need any more happy
and positive people in this world.
i ittutumuhttuiaittuMutiu HutmumiitinHiitiHittut him i itmttti m hi nuuMtatuawi
News flash U
3
3
st
I
needs staff photographers, so if you’d
like to pick up an extra credit and
• you’ve got a 35 mm camera (or if
you think you can at least operate
ours) call us at 898-6488, or stop
by our weekly meetings each Thursday
= s
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The Collegian
in Turnbull 204.
at 6:10
Thursday, February 20, 1992
Christi Luden,
entertainment editor
for The Collegian,
has been known to
answer to the name
Ludenhouden
fleugendouden.
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