The New Bloomfield, Pa. times. (New Bloomfield, Pa.) 1877-188?, April 26, 1881, Image 1

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VOL. XV.
ISIEW BLOMFIEIJD, IJ.A.., TUESIDA.Y, .A-PHIL 2G, 1881.
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THE TIMES.
n Independent Family Newspaper,
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Select Poetry.
FOOTSTEPS AT THE DOOR.
As we know familiar voices,
Ever; near and dear one's call,
joining through the silent chambers,
Waking echoes In the ball 1
So with Instinct all unerring,
Ever strengthening, more and more,
. We can read the varied language
Of the footsteps at the door.
Grandpa's faltering tread, now heavy
With the weight of fruitful years,
Nearlng yonder golden city
Almost through this vale of tears.
Steadfast feet that never loitered
Bravely going on before.
Sy-and-by we'll miss their music
Precious footsteps at the door.
Then, the patter of the children,
Happy darlings t out and in,
Like the butterflies and sunbeams,
With no thought of care or sin.
jLittle feet that need sure guiding
Fast the pitfalls on the shore,
Lost they turn aside t mischief ;
Blessed footsteps at the door !
Then the matron , glad and cheery,
Hears her good man drawing Digit ;
.And the children hear the mother
As her busy footsteps fly ;
'Household music 1 We all hear It!
'While wo love it more and more,
And we hope to welcome with It
Angel footsteps at the door.
.A Baptist Brother on Methodists
and Presbyterians!
A LADY correspondent of the New
York Independent gives a sketch of
a sermon she had heard in Georgia near
ly half a century ago, from which we
give an extract".
The preacher was apparently about
-fifty years of age, large, muscular, and
well proportioned. On entering the
pulpit he took off his coat and hung it
on a nail behind him, then opened his
collar and wrist-bands, and wiped the
perspiration from his face, neck and
hands. He was clad in striped cotton
homespun, and his shirt was of the
same material. He had traveled sever
al miles that morning, and seemed al
most overcome by the heat. But the
brethren sung a couple of hymns while
he w8 cooling off, and when he rose he
looked comfortable and good-natured.
He had preached there once or twice
before, but to the most of the audience
he was a strgnger. Hence he thought
.it necessary to announce himself, which
he did as "Old Club-Ax Davis, from
Scrlveu county, a Half-hard and Half
.60ft Baptist."
"I have given myself that name,"
said he -'because I believe the Lord
elected me, from eternity to go ahead in
-the backwoods and grub out a path and
blaze the way for another man to follow.
After the thickest of it is cut away a
good, warm Methodist brother will'
come along and take my trail, and make
things a little smoother and a good deal
noisier. After all the under brush is
cleaned out, and the owls and wolves
are skeered back, and rattlesnakes are
killed off a Presbyterian brother, in
broadcloth and. white cravat, will come
Along and cry for decency and order.
And they'll both do good in their sphere.
I don't despise a larnt man, even when
lie don't dress and think as I do. You
couldn't pay me enough to wear broad
cloth, summer nor winter, and you
couldn't pay a Presbyterian brother
enough to go without it in dogdays.
"God didn't make us all alike, my
brethren ; but every man has his own
sphere. When God has a place to fill be
makes a man and puts him in it. When
he wunted General Jackson, he mide
him, and set hi in to fightlu' Injuns ami
the English ; when he wanted Gtorge
Whitfield, he made him for to Mow the
gospel trumpet as no other man ever
blowed It ; and when he wanted Old
Club-Ax Davis, he made him, and set
him to grubbln' in the backwoods.
" But my shell isn't so hard but 2 ran
see good pints in everybody ; and as for
the Presbyterians they are a long way
ahead of us Baptists and Methodists in
some things. They raise their children
better than any people on the face of the
earth. Only a few days ago a Methodist
class leader said to me : 'Brother Club
Ax, I was born a Methodist and by the
grace of God I hope to die a Methodist :
but, thank God, I've got a Presbyterian
wife to raise my children.' And I be
lieve, my brethren, if the Lord should
open the way for me to marry again, I'd
try my best to find a Presbyterian
woman, and run my chances of break
in' her into the saving doctrines of feet
washln' and immersion afterwards."
Just at this point he was interrupted
by two spotted hounds that had been
continually running up and down the
pulpit stairs. One of them Jumped up
on the seat and began to gnaw his coat
tail, in which was someting he had
brought along for lunch. He turned
slowly around and took him by the ears
and tall and threw him out the window
behind him as easily as if it had been
a young kitten. The other took warn
ing and got out as quick as possible,
though not without howling and yelling
as if it had been half killed. He then
turned to the audience and said, smiling
ly : " St. Paul exhorted the brethren
to 'Beware of dogs.' I wonder what he
would do if he were In my place this
morning. It appears like 'I am 'com
passed about with dogs,' as David says
he was."
He had scarcely commenced preach,
ing again before there was a terrible
squealing and kicking among the mules
and horses that were tied by trees close
by. He put his head out of the window
and Bald, " No harm done my brethren.
Just a creatur with a side saddle on has
broke loose. Will some brother head
the animal t for no sister can walk home
this hot day."
Quiet being restored he continued
" Well, my brethren, I will now try
to gay what I allowed to about the Pres.
byterlans."
" As I said before, they raise their
children a heap better than we do.
They behave better in church, and keep
Sunday better, and read the Bible and
learn the Catechism better than ours
do. I declare, my brethren, their chil
dren are larnt that Westminister Cate
chism by the time they begin to talk
plain.
" It ain't three weeks since I was out
a cattle hun tin 'for two of my year
lin's has strayed off; and I stopped in
at old Brother Harkey's, on Mud Creek,
and took dinner. He's a deaoon in the
Presbyterian church over thar. Well,
as sure as I stand here, my brethren,
Sister Harkey had her little gal a-stand-in'
right before her, with toes just even
with the crack o' the floor and her
hands was a-haugln' down by her side
and her mouth turned up like a chicken
when it drinks, and she was a pnttin'
this question to her out o' that Cate
chism. " What are the benefits which in this
life do either accompany or flow from
justification, adoption, or sanctiflca
tlon V"
" Now, the questiou Itself was enough
to break the child down. But when
she had to begin and say that questiou
all over ( for that's the way it was in
the book) and then hitch the answer to
it, and which all put together made
this : The benefits which in this life do
either accompany or flow from justifi
cation, adoption and sanctliication
are peace of conscience, joy In the Holy
Ghost, increase of grace, and persever
ance therein to the end I thought the
child was the greatest wonder I'd ever
seen In all my life. She tuk it right,
through without brakln' or missing the
first word. And she spoke so sweet
and she lookt so like a little angel that
before I know'd it the tears was a-run-niu'
down my cheeks big as buckshot.
I've seen the day when I could have
mauled an' split a thousand rails quicker
and easier than I could larnt that thing
and tald it off like she did.
" Now, my brethren, that child didn't
understand or know the meaning of one
word o' that. It put me up to all I
know In take it In myself. But just let
that Presbyterian young un grow up,
and every word of that catechism will
come back to her, and her character will
stiffen up under her, and she'll have the
bnckbone of the matter in her for life.
, "Now, I can't put things into my
children that way. Nolhln' don't stay,
omehow. 'It's like drlvin' a nail into
a rotten log.' "
" This, last remark I never forgot.
For thirty years afterward, as I would
stand at the blackboard trying to fix
rules and principals lu the mind of a
dull pupil, this remark would come back
to me with its peculiar pertinency.
" I teil you, iny brethren," he contin
ued, "if our young 'uns studied the cat
ecbism more, and the Presbyterian a
little less, it would be better for both."
" Then we don't pray in our famlles
like they do. I know their prayers are
mighty long, and they pray all over
creation ; but, after all, it's the right
way. It's better than prayln' too little.
" Now, my father and mother was
good Baptists, and raised their children
to be honest and industrious ; but I nev
er heard one of them pray in my life,
and I was most a grown man before I
ever prayed a prayer myself, and it was
on this wise :
" There was a big meetin' over in
Elbert county and I know'd a pretty
gal over thar that I wanted to go and
see. Bo I borrowed a little Jersey wag
in' which was a stylish thing In them
days, and went over to her house and
stayed all night, and engaged her to ride
to meetin' with me the next day, which
was Sunday.
" We went, and had a glorious time
and I may as well say right here that she
was afterward my wife but a comin'
home I met with a powerful accident,
that I've never got over to this day.
As I was comin' down a steep hill some
part of the gearln give way, and let me
and the wagln' on my creturs' heels ;
and bein' young and skeery and not
much used to wheels, she wriggled and
kicked and tore from one side of the
road to the other, till I was pitched head
foremost as much as ten foot, into a deep
gully, and its a miracle of mercy that
my neck was not broken on the spot.
" Expectin' to be killed every mlnit I
thought I ought to ask the Lord for
mercy ; but as I had never prayed in my
life I couldn't think of the first thing to
say, but the blessln' my father used to
ask before eatin' when we baa company
and which was this 'Lord, make us
thankful for what we are about to re
ceive." " Now, my brethren, do you 'spose
auy Presbyterian raised boy was ever
put to such a strait aa that for a prayer V
No. He would have prayed for himself
and gone oft after the Jews and heath
ens, whilst I was a huntin' up aud git
in' off that blessln'."
Some Very Able Stories.
THE Carson City (New) Appeal in a
recent issue says: Yesterday after
noon, when the lawyers In Justice
Cary's court were waiting for the verdict
in a petty larceny case, Attorney Soder
berg related au Incident of his early
childhood in Minnesota, illustrative of
the peculiar customs in vogue In that
State.
" I knew an old farmer there who
owned ten acres of timber land where
millions of pigeons came each year to
roost. They devastated the wheat fields,
and the old coon used to catch the birds
in nets and thrash them out on the
barn floor. Each bird had three ounces
of wheat in bis crop and it was a bad
year for 'Old Thompson' when he
couldn't ship a thousand bushels of
wheat to market at $2.00 a bushel, and
it ranked A No. 1 when It reached the
Chicago elevator, if there had been a
few millions more of the pigeons he
would have come pretty near getting a
corner in the Minnesota wheat crop."
"I know a planter down In Ala
baina," said Kittrell, "who was fully as
sharp as that. He trained an alligator
to work up and down the river and
catch the little piccaninnies that played
along the bank. The alligator would
take the little kids In his jaws and swim
back to the plantation. It was a dull
day that he couldn't corral three or
four. The planter raised 'em carefully,
and when they got big Bold 'em In New
Orleans at prices ranging from three to
ten thousand apiece. He was rolling in
wealth when Lincoln's emancipation
proclamation was issued, and after that
the alligator never did more work. The
mau Is now barely keeping body and
soul together In Washington, clerking
in one of the government bureaus at
eight thousand a year."
Judge Cary evidenced the greatest
Interest in these wierd tales, and edged
up to the group,
" These are curious yarns, gentlemen,
but I believe them all. I had a dog
once back In Nebraska, that I kept to
herd lumber."
" Beg pardon, Judge: did you say the
dog herded lumber V"
" Yes, sir, Cottonwood boards. We
always kept a dog there to bring in the
lumber at night."
Everybody now paid the closest at
tention, as they knew that the boss was
at work.
" It was this way. Cottonwood boards
warp like thunder in the sun. A board
would begin to hump its back up about
nine in the morning, and in half an
hour it would turn over. By eleven It
would warp the other way by the heat
and make another flop. Each time it
turned it moved a couple of feet, always
following the sun toward the west. The
first summer I lived in Brownville over
ten thousand feet of lumber skipped out
to the hills the day before I had adver
tised a house raisin'. I went to the
county seat to attend a law suit, and
when I got back there wasn't a stick of
timber left. It bad strayed away into
the uplands. An ordinary board would
climb a two-mile hill during a hot week,
and when it struck the timber it would
keep wormin' in and out among the
trees like a garter snake. Every farmer
in the State had to keep shepherd dogs
to follow his lumber around thecountry,
keep it together, and show where it was
In the morning. We didn't need any
flumes there for lumber. We sawed it
east of the place we wanted to use it,
and let it warp Itself to its destination ;
with men and dogs to head it off at the
right time, we never lost a stick. Well,
here comes the Jury," continued the
judge. " The witnesses lied so I guees
they will disagree."
The Monkey In Its Domestic Relations.
IN India, where the monkeys live
among men, and are the playmates
of their children, the Hindoos have
grown fond of them, and the four hand
ed folks participate In all their simple
household rites. In the early morning,
when the peasant goes out to yoke his
oxen, and the cow wakes up, and the
dog stretches himself and shakes off the
dust lu which he slept last night, the
monkey creeps down from the peepul
tree, only half awake, and yawns and
looks about him, puts a straw In his
mouth and scratches himself content
platlngly. Then one by one the whole
family come slipping down the tree
trunk, and they all yawn and look
about and scratch. But they are sleepy
and peevish, and the youngsters get
cuffed for nothing, and begin to think
life dull. Yet the toilet has to be per
formed, and whether they like it or not,
the young ones are sternly pulled up,
one by one, to their mother to undergo
the process. The scene, though repeat
ed exactly every morning, loses nothing
of its comicality, and the monkey-brats
seem to be in the joke of "taking In"
mamma. But mamma was young her
self not very long ago and treats each
ludicrous affectation of suffering with
the profoundest unconcern, and as she
dismisses one "cleansed" youngster with
a cuff, stretches out her hand for the
next one's tail or leg in the most busi
ness like and serious manner possible.
The youngsters know their turns
quite well. As each feels the moment
arrive it throws itself on its stomach, as
if overwhelmed with apprehension, the
others meanwhile stifling their satisfac
tion at the way " So and so is doing it,"
and the instant the maternal paw is
extended to grasp the tall, the subject of
the next experiment utters a piercing
shriek, and throwiug its arms forward
in the dust, allows itself to be dragged
along a limp and helpless carcass, wink
ing all the time, no doubt, at Its brothers
and sisters at the way it is imposing on
the old lady.
But the old lady will stand no non-
sense, and turning the child right side
up, proceeds to put it to rights, takes
the kinks out of its tall and the knots
out of its far, pokes her fingers Into Hs
ears and looks at each of its toes, the
Irrepressible brat all the time wearing
on Its face an absurd expression of hope
less and Inetirable grief, those who- have
already been cleansed looking on with
delight at the screaming faroe, and those
who are waiting wearing a becoming
aspect of enormous gravity.
The old lady, however, has her Joke,
which is to culf each youngster before
" io iii buu uimuie as uer oil
springs are, she generally, to her credit
be It said, manages to "fetch them one
on the ear" before they are out of reach.
The father, meanwhile, sits gravely
with his back to all these domestlo
matters, waiting for breakfast. Present
ly the mats before the hut doors are
pushed down, and the women, with
brass vessels in their bands, come out,
and while they scour pots with dust,
exchange, between songs, the compli
ments of the morning.
The monkeys by this time have come
closer to the preparation for food, and
sit eolemnly, household by household,
watching every movement. Hindoos
do not hurry themselves in anything
they do, but the monkey has a great
patience, and in the end when the
crowd has stolen a little, and the dog
has his morsel, and the children are all
satisfied, the fragments of the meal are
thrown out on the ground for the
"blunder orgue," the monkey people,
and it is soon discussed, the mother
feeding the baby before she herself eats.
A Set of Teeth on their Travels.
From Middletown, Orange county, N.
Y., comes a most remarkable story. On
the 6th of January, 18(18, a maiden lady
at that place swallowed a new set of
false teeth, which became separated from
the rubber mould In which they had
been set, while mastlgating her food.
Beforeshe could eject the food from her
mouth the teeth bad gone down into
her stomach. The family physioian
was summoned, but all his efforts were
unavailing. The teeth caused her no
discomfort and In a short time the
matter was entirely forgotten. A few
days ago Miss Cole, the lady in question,
felt a sharp pain near her left shoulder,
and upon examining the spot found
what appeared to be a wen under the
skin. With the aid of a penknife she
extracted a hard substance, which proved
to be a tooth. She was at a loss to know
how the tooth came to be in such an
unusual spot till she suddenly recollect
ed that she had, twelve years ago,
swallowed her set of teeth. During the
past four days the lady has been cutting
teeth all over ber body and at last
accounts recovered twelve of the four
teen teeth that had formerly constituted
her full set. She is anxiously awaiting
the arrival of the other two. She has
placed the teeth in a glass case and will
keep them as moraentoes.
Did not Imitate.
Down in Berks county,Penn'a., they
have a game called the "Hutchinson
Family." It consists In beguiling
some unsuspecting person Into a room
in which the "family" Is stationed
the members of which Imitate in word
and action every thing done by the vic
tim, and the amount of amusement
that can be extracted from a nervous
young man of bashful proclivities can
easily be imagined. At a social gather.
Ing held in a village a short time ago
a young newspaper man was Introduced
into the room and the "Hutchinson
Family" began its imitations, to the in
tense delight of everybody present ex
cept the victim. It didn't take the
young man long to appreciate the situa
tion, and then he calmly walked to the
center of the room and stood on his
bead. The "Hutchinson Family" at
that moment was composed of two ladies
and a gentleman, and It is needlesa to
remark that the lady members immedi
ately lost all interest in further proceed
ings and did not imitate.
43" The man who will not work and
has no means of intellectual pleasure, is
as sure to become an Instrument of evil
as If he had sold himself bodily to Satan.
C3Love, faith, patience, the three
essentials to a happy life.