,00 iiiMiii'itiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiitii!ii!jj VOL. XV. ISIEW BLOMFIEIJD, IJ.A.., TUESIDA.Y, .A-PHIL 2G, 1881. NO. IT. mm slmi.! r-; fill S ..... - ' THE TIMES. n Independent Family Newspaper, 18 PUBLISHED HVBRT TUBSDAT BT F. MORTIMER & CO. INVARIABLY IN ADVANCE. ft.30 PEIt YKAIt, POftTAftf: I II I'll. SO CTS. FOR 8 MONTHS. To i.lcrlbr reMdlnn In Tms cot'KTT, where we have no poMagn to pay. a discount of 2 cents from the above terms will be made It payment Is made In advance. Advertising rates furnished uponappllca tlou. Select Poetry. FOOTSTEPS AT THE DOOR. As we know familiar voices, Ever; near and dear one's call, joining through the silent chambers, Waking echoes In the ball 1 So with Instinct all unerring, Ever strengthening, more and more, . We can read the varied language Of the footsteps at the door. Grandpa's faltering tread, now heavy With the weight of fruitful years, Nearlng yonder golden city Almost through this vale of tears. Steadfast feet that never loitered Bravely going on before. Sy-and-by we'll miss their music Precious footsteps at the door. Then, the patter of the children, Happy darlings t out and in, Like the butterflies and sunbeams, With no thought of care or sin. jLittle feet that need sure guiding Fast the pitfalls on the shore, Lost they turn aside t mischief ; Blessed footsteps at the door ! Then the matron , glad and cheery, Hears her good man drawing Digit ; .And the children hear the mother As her busy footsteps fly ; 'Household music 1 We all hear It! 'While wo love it more and more, And we hope to welcome with It Angel footsteps at the door. .A Baptist Brother on Methodists and Presbyterians! A LADY correspondent of the New York Independent gives a sketch of a sermon she had heard in Georgia near ly half a century ago, from which we give an extract". The preacher was apparently about -fifty years of age, large, muscular, and well proportioned. On entering the pulpit he took off his coat and hung it on a nail behind him, then opened his collar and wrist-bands, and wiped the perspiration from his face, neck and hands. He was clad in striped cotton homespun, and his shirt was of the same material. He had traveled sever al miles that morning, and seemed al most overcome by the heat. But the brethren sung a couple of hymns while he w8 cooling off, and when he rose he looked comfortable and good-natured. He had preached there once or twice before, but to the most of the audience he was a strgnger. Hence he thought .it necessary to announce himself, which he did as "Old Club-Ax Davis, from Scrlveu county, a Half-hard and Half .60ft Baptist." "I have given myself that name," said he -'because I believe the Lord elected me, from eternity to go ahead in -the backwoods and grub out a path and blaze the way for another man to follow. After the thickest of it is cut away a good, warm Methodist brother will' come along and take my trail, and make things a little smoother and a good deal noisier. After all the under brush is cleaned out, and the owls and wolves are skeered back, and rattlesnakes are killed off a Presbyterian brother, in broadcloth and. white cravat, will come Along and cry for decency and order. And they'll both do good in their sphere. I don't despise a larnt man, even when lie don't dress and think as I do. You couldn't pay me enough to wear broad cloth, summer nor winter, and you couldn't pay a Presbyterian brother enough to go without it in dogdays. "God didn't make us all alike, my brethren ; but every man has his own sphere. When God has a place to fill be makes a man and puts him in it. When he wunted General Jackson, he mide him, and set hi in to fightlu' Injuns ami the English ; when he wanted Gtorge Whitfield, he made him for to Mow the gospel trumpet as no other man ever blowed It ; and when he wanted Old Club-Ax Davis, he made him, and set him to grubbln' in the backwoods. " But my shell isn't so hard but 2 ran see good pints in everybody ; and as for the Presbyterians they are a long way ahead of us Baptists and Methodists in some things. They raise their children better than any people on the face of the earth. Only a few days ago a Methodist class leader said to me : 'Brother Club Ax, I was born a Methodist and by the grace of God I hope to die a Methodist : but, thank God, I've got a Presbyterian wife to raise my children.' And I be lieve, my brethren, if the Lord should open the way for me to marry again, I'd try my best to find a Presbyterian woman, and run my chances of break in' her into the saving doctrines of feet washln' and immersion afterwards." Just at this point he was interrupted by two spotted hounds that had been continually running up and down the pulpit stairs. One of them Jumped up on the seat and began to gnaw his coat tail, in which was someting he had brought along for lunch. He turned slowly around and took him by the ears and tall and threw him out the window behind him as easily as if it had been a young kitten. The other took warn ing and got out as quick as possible, though not without howling and yelling as if it had been half killed. He then turned to the audience and said, smiling ly : " St. Paul exhorted the brethren to 'Beware of dogs.' I wonder what he would do if he were In my place this morning. It appears like 'I am 'com passed about with dogs,' as David says he was." He had scarcely commenced preach, ing again before there was a terrible squealing and kicking among the mules and horses that were tied by trees close by. He put his head out of the window and Bald, " No harm done my brethren. Just a creatur with a side saddle on has broke loose. Will some brother head the animal t for no sister can walk home this hot day." Quiet being restored he continued " Well, my brethren, I will now try to gay what I allowed to about the Pres. byterlans." " As I said before, they raise their children a heap better than we do. They behave better in church, and keep Sunday better, and read the Bible and learn the Catechism better than ours do. I declare, my brethren, their chil dren are larnt that Westminister Cate chism by the time they begin to talk plain. " It ain't three weeks since I was out a cattle hun tin 'for two of my year lin's has strayed off; and I stopped in at old Brother Harkey's, on Mud Creek, and took dinner. He's a deaoon in the Presbyterian church over thar. Well, as sure as I stand here, my brethren, Sister Harkey had her little gal a-stand-in' right before her, with toes just even with the crack o' the floor and her hands was a-haugln' down by her side and her mouth turned up like a chicken when it drinks, and she was a pnttin' this question to her out o' that Cate chism. " What are the benefits which in this life do either accompany or flow from justification, adoption, or sanctiflca tlon V" " Now, the questiou Itself was enough to break the child down. But when she had to begin and say that questiou all over ( for that's the way it was in the book) and then hitch the answer to it, and which all put together made this : The benefits which in this life do either accompany or flow from justifi cation, adoption and sanctliication are peace of conscience, joy In the Holy Ghost, increase of grace, and persever ance therein to the end I thought the child was the greatest wonder I'd ever seen In all my life. She tuk it right, through without brakln' or missing the first word. And she spoke so sweet and she lookt so like a little angel that before I know'd it the tears was a-run-niu' down my cheeks big as buckshot. I've seen the day when I could have mauled an' split a thousand rails quicker and easier than I could larnt that thing and tald it off like she did. " Now, my brethren, that child didn't understand or know the meaning of one word o' that. It put me up to all I know In take it In myself. But just let that Presbyterian young un grow up, and every word of that catechism will come back to her, and her character will stiffen up under her, and she'll have the bnckbone of the matter in her for life. , "Now, I can't put things into my children that way. Nolhln' don't stay, omehow. 'It's like drlvin' a nail into a rotten log.' " " This, last remark I never forgot. For thirty years afterward, as I would stand at the blackboard trying to fix rules and principals lu the mind of a dull pupil, this remark would come back to me with its peculiar pertinency. " I teil you, iny brethren," he contin ued, "if our young 'uns studied the cat ecbism more, and the Presbyterian a little less, it would be better for both." " Then we don't pray in our famlles like they do. I know their prayers are mighty long, and they pray all over creation ; but, after all, it's the right way. It's better than prayln' too little. " Now, my father and mother was good Baptists, and raised their children to be honest and industrious ; but I nev er heard one of them pray in my life, and I was most a grown man before I ever prayed a prayer myself, and it was on this wise : " There was a big meetin' over in Elbert county and I know'd a pretty gal over thar that I wanted to go and see. Bo I borrowed a little Jersey wag in' which was a stylish thing In them days, and went over to her house and stayed all night, and engaged her to ride to meetin' with me the next day, which was Sunday. " We went, and had a glorious time and I may as well say right here that she was afterward my wife but a comin' home I met with a powerful accident, that I've never got over to this day. As I was comin' down a steep hill some part of the gearln give way, and let me and the wagln' on my creturs' heels ; and bein' young and skeery and not much used to wheels, she wriggled and kicked and tore from one side of the road to the other, till I was pitched head foremost as much as ten foot, into a deep gully, and its a miracle of mercy that my neck was not broken on the spot. " Expectin' to be killed every mlnit I thought I ought to ask the Lord for mercy ; but as I had never prayed in my life I couldn't think of the first thing to say, but the blessln' my father used to ask before eatin' when we baa company and which was this 'Lord, make us thankful for what we are about to re ceive." " Now, my brethren, do you 'spose auy Presbyterian raised boy was ever put to such a strait aa that for a prayer V No. He would have prayed for himself and gone oft after the Jews and heath ens, whilst I was a huntin' up aud git in' off that blessln'." Some Very Able Stories. THE Carson City (New) Appeal in a recent issue says: Yesterday after noon, when the lawyers In Justice Cary's court were waiting for the verdict in a petty larceny case, Attorney Soder berg related au Incident of his early childhood in Minnesota, illustrative of the peculiar customs in vogue In that State. " I knew an old farmer there who owned ten acres of timber land where millions of pigeons came each year to roost. They devastated the wheat fields, and the old coon used to catch the birds in nets and thrash them out on the barn floor. Each bird had three ounces of wheat in bis crop and it was a bad year for 'Old Thompson' when he couldn't ship a thousand bushels of wheat to market at $2.00 a bushel, and it ranked A No. 1 when It reached the Chicago elevator, if there had been a few millions more of the pigeons he would have come pretty near getting a corner in the Minnesota wheat crop." "I know a planter down In Ala baina," said Kittrell, "who was fully as sharp as that. He trained an alligator to work up and down the river and catch the little piccaninnies that played along the bank. The alligator would take the little kids In his jaws and swim back to the plantation. It was a dull day that he couldn't corral three or four. The planter raised 'em carefully, and when they got big Bold 'em In New Orleans at prices ranging from three to ten thousand apiece. He was rolling in wealth when Lincoln's emancipation proclamation was issued, and after that the alligator never did more work. The mau Is now barely keeping body and soul together In Washington, clerking in one of the government bureaus at eight thousand a year." Judge Cary evidenced the greatest Interest in these wierd tales, and edged up to the group, " These are curious yarns, gentlemen, but I believe them all. I had a dog once back In Nebraska, that I kept to herd lumber." " Beg pardon, Judge: did you say the dog herded lumber V" " Yes, sir, Cottonwood boards. We always kept a dog there to bring in the lumber at night." Everybody now paid the closest at tention, as they knew that the boss was at work. " It was this way. Cottonwood boards warp like thunder in the sun. A board would begin to hump its back up about nine in the morning, and in half an hour it would turn over. By eleven It would warp the other way by the heat and make another flop. Each time it turned it moved a couple of feet, always following the sun toward the west. The first summer I lived in Brownville over ten thousand feet of lumber skipped out to the hills the day before I had adver tised a house raisin'. I went to the county seat to attend a law suit, and when I got back there wasn't a stick of timber left. It bad strayed away into the uplands. An ordinary board would climb a two-mile hill during a hot week, and when it struck the timber it would keep wormin' in and out among the trees like a garter snake. Every farmer in the State had to keep shepherd dogs to follow his lumber around thecountry, keep it together, and show where it was In the morning. We didn't need any flumes there for lumber. We sawed it east of the place we wanted to use it, and let it warp Itself to its destination ; with men and dogs to head it off at the right time, we never lost a stick. Well, here comes the Jury," continued the judge. " The witnesses lied so I guees they will disagree." The Monkey In Its Domestic Relations. IN India, where the monkeys live among men, and are the playmates of their children, the Hindoos have grown fond of them, and the four hand ed folks participate In all their simple household rites. In the early morning, when the peasant goes out to yoke his oxen, and the cow wakes up, and the dog stretches himself and shakes off the dust lu which he slept last night, the monkey creeps down from the peepul tree, only half awake, and yawns and looks about him, puts a straw In his mouth and scratches himself content platlngly. Then one by one the whole family come slipping down the tree trunk, and they all yawn and look about and scratch. But they are sleepy and peevish, and the youngsters get cuffed for nothing, and begin to think life dull. Yet the toilet has to be per formed, and whether they like it or not, the young ones are sternly pulled up, one by one, to their mother to undergo the process. The scene, though repeat ed exactly every morning, loses nothing of its comicality, and the monkey-brats seem to be in the joke of "taking In" mamma. But mamma was young her self not very long ago and treats each ludicrous affectation of suffering with the profoundest unconcern, and as she dismisses one "cleansed" youngster with a cuff, stretches out her hand for the next one's tail or leg in the most busi ness like and serious manner possible. The youngsters know their turns quite well. As each feels the moment arrive it throws itself on its stomach, as if overwhelmed with apprehension, the others meanwhile stifling their satisfac tion at the way " So and so is doing it," and the instant the maternal paw is extended to grasp the tall, the subject of the next experiment utters a piercing shriek, and throwiug its arms forward in the dust, allows itself to be dragged along a limp and helpless carcass, wink ing all the time, no doubt, at Its brothers and sisters at the way it is imposing on the old lady. But the old lady will stand no non- sense, and turning the child right side up, proceeds to put it to rights, takes the kinks out of its tall and the knots out of its far, pokes her fingers Into Hs ears and looks at each of its toes, the Irrepressible brat all the time wearing on Its face an absurd expression of hope less and Inetirable grief, those who- have already been cleansed looking on with delight at the screaming faroe, and those who are waiting wearing a becoming aspect of enormous gravity. The old lady, however, has her Joke, which is to culf each youngster before " io iii buu uimuie as uer oil springs are, she generally, to her credit be It said, manages to "fetch them one on the ear" before they are out of reach. The father, meanwhile, sits gravely with his back to all these domestlo matters, waiting for breakfast. Present ly the mats before the hut doors are pushed down, and the women, with brass vessels in their bands, come out, and while they scour pots with dust, exchange, between songs, the compli ments of the morning. The monkeys by this time have come closer to the preparation for food, and sit eolemnly, household by household, watching every movement. Hindoos do not hurry themselves in anything they do, but the monkey has a great patience, and in the end when the crowd has stolen a little, and the dog has his morsel, and the children are all satisfied, the fragments of the meal are thrown out on the ground for the "blunder orgue," the monkey people, and it is soon discussed, the mother feeding the baby before she herself eats. A Set of Teeth on their Travels. From Middletown, Orange county, N. Y., comes a most remarkable story. On the 6th of January, 18(18, a maiden lady at that place swallowed a new set of false teeth, which became separated from the rubber mould In which they had been set, while mastlgating her food. Beforeshe could eject the food from her mouth the teeth bad gone down into her stomach. The family physioian was summoned, but all his efforts were unavailing. The teeth caused her no discomfort and In a short time the matter was entirely forgotten. A few days ago Miss Cole, the lady in question, felt a sharp pain near her left shoulder, and upon examining the spot found what appeared to be a wen under the skin. With the aid of a penknife she extracted a hard substance, which proved to be a tooth. She was at a loss to know how the tooth came to be in such an unusual spot till she suddenly recollect ed that she had, twelve years ago, swallowed her set of teeth. During the past four days the lady has been cutting teeth all over ber body and at last accounts recovered twelve of the four teen teeth that had formerly constituted her full set. She is anxiously awaiting the arrival of the other two. She has placed the teeth in a glass case and will keep them as moraentoes. Did not Imitate. Down in Berks county,Penn'a., they have a game called the "Hutchinson Family." It consists In beguiling some unsuspecting person Into a room in which the "family" Is stationed the members of which Imitate in word and action every thing done by the vic tim, and the amount of amusement that can be extracted from a nervous young man of bashful proclivities can easily be imagined. At a social gather. Ing held in a village a short time ago a young newspaper man was Introduced into the room and the "Hutchinson Family" began its imitations, to the in tense delight of everybody present ex cept the victim. It didn't take the young man long to appreciate the situa tion, and then he calmly walked to the center of the room and stood on his bead. The "Hutchinson Family" at that moment was composed of two ladies and a gentleman, and It is needlesa to remark that the lady members immedi ately lost all interest in further proceed ings and did not imitate. 43" The man who will not work and has no means of intellectual pleasure, is as sure to become an Instrument of evil as If he had sold himself bodily to Satan. C3Love, faith, patience, the three essentials to a happy life.