THE TIMES, NEW BL00MF1ELD. PA., SEPTEMBER 30,1879. 7 Professional Curds. rl. JUNKIN. Attorney-at-l.aw, a . New HlnomtlHld. Perry eo.. Fa OIUob Next door to the residence of Judge Juukln. 45tf AM. MABKKL, Attnrney-at-I.aw, HI... U ...II.. 1. 1 !...... toia 1 Olllce opposite theaManslon House, and tnree uoors eas 01 me rosi-uiuca. J EW1S POTTKH, ATTOHNEV A 'A.' UW, NBW B LOU M FIELD, PERRV CO., PA. vnialrn itroimitlv secured collected Writings and all legal business carefullyattend edto. C4UABLE8 U. BMlLK Y, Attorney at Law. ; Now Bloomtleld, Perry Co. Pa. 90111,38 two duo eml ol Joseph Smith's hotel. August 2, 1872. itm a . hponhi.rk. Attornev-at-Law. W Otllce adjoining his residence, on East Main street, New Bloomlleld, Perry eo., Pa. S 2 ly TI7"M. N. HEIBKRT, Attorney-at-Law, Vy New Bloouilleld, Perry oo., Fa. Bloomlleld, 8 331V. TK WIS POTTER, notary PUBUO, New Bloom i Hoi rl Pftrrv (!n.. Pa. Deeds, Bonds, Mortgages and Leases oarelully .prepared and acknowledgements taken. All iKinus 01 rension ana ijuumy papers uiawn sua eertllled, will also take depositions to be rer.d In any court In the United States. 71uly CIIAS. J. T, MoINTIRE, Attorney-at-Law , New Bloomtleld, Perry co., Pa. W All professional business promptlyandtaltb fully attended to. S 2 1 y. YtTM. A. MOHItlSON, Y JUSTICE OK THE PEACE and GENERAL COLLECTOR, NewGehmantowm, Perryco.,Pa. a-lteniittanoeswlllue made promptly tor all collections maue. it OHA8. A. BAUNETT, Attorney-at-Law, New Bloomneld.Periyco.,Pa i-OITIce on high street. North side, nearly op .poalte the Presbyterian Church. 8 21y ML. LIQUETT. ATTons-r-AT-LAW, Newport, Perry County. Pa. Having permanently located at Newport, will jlve prompt and careful attention to all bust tiess matters eaininltted to bis care. Olllne, No. 3ii North Becond Street. Newport, April 29 1378. D R. R. M. ALEXANDER, SVItGEON DENTIST, New Bloomtleld, Perry County, Pa. Ofllce on Carlisle, Bt.,one door Bouth of J. E. and .Judge Junkin's law olllce. Everything belong lug to the profession done In the best manner. All Woiik Wawuhted. Terms moderate. 23 0, P. BOLLINGER, M, D , 'liavhig located In Newport, offers bis Profes sional services to all who may need them. Chronic diseases of every description cured, ta. Ofllce In Dr. Shatto's building, 4th Btreet March 4, 1878. QEORGE H. MARTIN GENERAL AGENT. BL,AIIf, PEUKY COUNTY, PA. Bpeclal attention given to the collection of slslms, and any other business entrusted to him will receive prompt attention. Chargesinoderate. April. 19th. 1877. DEATH DEFEATED. FOR over 50 years SELLERS' LIVER PILLS have b?en the standard remedy for Liver Complaints, Cotiveness, Sick Headache, Pain In Shoulders or Back, Dizziness, Coated Tongue, Fever and A sue. and all diseases arising from a deranged state of the Liver or Stomach. Thomas Adams, of Big Sandy, Kv., says: " Sellers Pills have saved hundred of dollars In doctors' bills In this country." R. K. SEELERS & CO., Prop'rs, Pittsburgh, Pa. THE GREAT BLOOD TONIC, For the cure of all diseases arising from Impure Blood, and for Invigorating and strengthening the vital organs. Are you weak, nervous, debili tated, pale and emaciated t Have you lost your appetite? Have you nausea, pain In the back, &c. If so, Dr. Lldsev's Blood Searcherwilldrlve out the disease and bring back the BLOOM OF HEALTH. Pimples, Bolls. Erysipelas, Tetter, Salt Kheum &o., aro but surface Indications of Bluod Diseases ; and Dr. Lldsey's Blood Searcher, by purifying the svstem, softens the skin and beautifies the complexion. Bold by all druggists. 81 per bottle. K. K. SELLERS & CO.. Proprie tors, Pittsburgh ,Pa O 48 I OLD 'AND RELIABLE, JDb.v'Sanfobd'8 Liver iNviGonATOits Sis a Standard Family Esmody for a, 3 diseases of the Liver, Stomach aft") yjand Bowels. It ia rurefy V&V? RL J Vegetable. It never Debilitates It is SGathartio and V5' JTonio mm 0wu0.v l' ljiverj P Invicroratori h " uolAlj in my practice! ' and by tho tinblic.' for- moro than 35 vnnra - - - vnta unpreceuented results. !V SEND FOR CIRCULAR. JS. T.V.SANFCRD, H.D., ii2tSgit June 21, 1870. nt ft and MOKPIIINEIi.bH.hM ft lullyl liodily flur.il. Im- M No )utlicit. .luip I i' 8 f r full p.r!icuUr,. T)r. C'.rluu, W S . Cl. SU. ChlcHO, M. JOB PHINTI SQ of every description neatly land promptly executed at Ueasonable lUles at the Bloomtleld Timed Steum Job Olllee. 3 mmm SB F1 u S It Philadelphia AdTeittsoinenis HEADY MIXED TAINTS ! NOWATER.NO chemicals, ho benzine, BUT A PURE Olli 1AINT, READY FOR USE. 80 BEAUTIFUL SHADES OP PA15T BENT BT MAIL. IT IS PUT ON LIKE OTHER PAINT. MADE WITH LEAD AND OIL. VIZ: NICELY BRUSHED OUT. NOT FLOWED ON LIKE WATER PAINT. TRY IT, And i'ou Wilt Prove It to be the Best Liquid l'ulnt 111 the Market. JOHN JL.TJOA.N .V CO., Philadelphia, MANUFACTURERS OF Swiss and Imperial French tireen, WHITE LEAD, COLORS, varnishes; &c eigler&swearingen Successors to BH AFFNER, ZIEGLER & CO.. Importers and Dealers In Hosiery, (.loves, KlbboiiM, MuNpeiidcrs, THREADS, COMBS, and every variety of TRIMMINGS & FANCY GOODS, No. 36, North Fourth Street. PHILADELPHIA, PENN'A Agents for Lancaster Combs. W.H- KENNEDY WITH TRIMBLE, BRITTON & Co., WHOLESALE GJIOCERS, No. 605 MARKET BTREET, PHILADELPHIA. T 1 govER, pons & CO., BOOKSELLERS. STATIONERS, And Dealers In CURTAIN & WALL-PAPERS. BLANK BOOKS Always on hand, and madeto Order. Nos. 530 Market and 623 Minor Btreets PHILADELPHIA, PA ALSO M. Publishers of Handers'New Readers, and Brooks' Arithmetics. Also. Unhurt'. infni the United tJtates.Feltou'sOutllne Maps, So. jLOYD, SUPPLEE & WALTON WHOLESALE HARDWARE HOUSE No. 625 Market Btreet. Philadelphia, Peun'a. JANNEY & ANDREWS WHOLESALE . GROCERS, No. 133 MARKET BT., Philadelphia. QRAYBILL & CO., Wholesale Dealersl n Oil Cloths, Carpets, Shades, Brooms, Carpet Chain, Wadding, Batting, Twines, &c, And a floe assortment of WOOD and WILLOW WARE, . No. 420 Market street, above 4th, PHILADELPHIA. Philadelphia Advertisements. M. HARTLEY, m, g. rmrmi & co., lnARurAcft'nEiis AND WHOLESALE DEALERS IN BOOTS 8c SHOES, 81 NORTH THIRD STREET, I'liii, im.i.riiiA. f Hpeelnl attention Riven to orders. Junes, 1H;. pd WAINWRIOHT & CO. WHOLESALE GROCERS AND TEA DEALEHS, North East Corner of 2nd and Arch Street, Philadelphia Penn'a. J S. DOUGHERTY WtTIl D. J.' HOAR & CO., WHOLESALE DOOT AND 8 II O E W A U M II 0 U 8 10 . B13 MAKKKT STHEKT, Philadelphia, Penn'a. " H ALL, SHENK & CO., 405 & 407 Market Street, lMilluilcipIifn, (OldBtandof Bnrcrort &Co.,) WHOLESALE DEALERS IN X)J Y GOODS. January, 1S79 tf lltd Sole Leather Depot EDWARDS & CASTLE, 89 NORTH FOURTH ST., PHIL'A. LEATHER AND FINDINGS, Full Unt of Best Phlla. CUV and Kip, EM C. Brand, 4 zm PROF. HARRIS' RADICAL CURE TOE SPEEMATTOEHCEA. THUS "SEMINAL PASTILLE" A niimlilf Dincrwery unit Nw D partuie In Med i-nl Sciernf, an mtin lr Now and innltivplyellert Ive Iteiitcdy tur die ipttdr nml iitMiuntunl Cure of Bern In al ErufRBlons 9s Impotency bv t)ie only true way, vIbi Direct A tn1 inal Inn ... il 1 fll!ll Hcflt Of th DllPtliC. Ot'f lllCf liv AK.nr.iHAr, .,.1 Iuir itt nppi:lc nitliu-iicc on trie Seminal Veaiclca Elao ulitory Ducti,l'rotrato Olondainl Urethta, Tlieuit otllio Iti'iiiriiy la atleiMjvtl with nu imin or inconvenience, H it onii'i!y UMvolvi'il ntul moii nbvorlwtl, proilurina an Immcdinte oolliiiiR anil restorative rffcvt tinon the ie u.i I mid iicrvout trahi.aiU'ii wrpt kt-il rom elt'-bu ttii.l rxiiM4Pi(, topplni iliodrnln tn.ni the iveni, rtntor I'liit'M'inlnd to limlt'i nnl sound mrniory, reiiiovlnr l.itt lxmneasefSlKlit. Nervoun Pebility, Confusion fifl x ih. Avfrmon toaooieiy. Eio.Eto. nnd the aniuar ,ii trf iiromn'uro old oro iimirniy fimnimanviiifi tliii tr.mli i n I rct.triiijr pfjif. i t Koxunl Vigor, wlirrelt hat Iv'oni. .M.un.t Unyt'nru Tint i. (..U-i.f In annum ban ittxtd tlu I "?i i very njvcro cull', tiu l h now a pronounced im V. TtrugB arc t n iiuu'li pipcrilird In thue Iruiiolei, an I, in i.;iiy tutn biip whiifMs in, with but li't It any l'er' ,Vtn. ThiTii i tm N'ki.-iw iilniut this Prepara tion, T rn'..r-rvu-lM.---ul.i.liJl1,p,,Miivt-ly ffuaran. toe tint If will plvoenarution. Diirlnj the tight yinrii iT.t it l.ai b-ci l.i i-.-ni-nii i, v j,aVl. n,OUrtWj vl '(i .. niila in 1 1 Hi yiiIiif, iim It l mw concecd nl by V Aifdlfcl l'r-Pwion .i bo llio nmnt rational tm-n-ii v.t iHiL-uvcvdot nv.'-linj i "d i-nrin; liiij very prev alent lr.;.h!Lvi.iat li wrll knovin 1 ho tlm i nuio ol untold JtiliiTy t-i i inmiv, iiml tivo-i wlii'in qimcka prt-v with lluvrti- ' fonlnuiM nn. I l.lcr fco i.TI..- IVinrdy lnut up In a in v li pii.hik'i lt Hunt' b. 11ml tent in a plain vrnpn-r ly inaii i-Hlr-l ( t tO Twu mx.n. ( itfflrirnt to rlieitiir-'fT-tatiiMitrur.' i tii-.-i io hcvitp ci-i-sl C8 Three hoM lit-lm.n t!ir'"i til i i itH-. i 1 nM re:ore i:ur. In tbowor-t 9 7 Full DIH0TI0H8 lor 11-' -will ft.'"" p-i'v EACH I tX. HARRIS REMEDY CO. Mrn.CHEMlST8. MrlMiindntli.Sli. CT. LOU 18, MQ, FOUTZ'S HORSE AND CATTLE POWDERS No Honw will rilo ofi:oi.in. rtn-i-Ta nr T.trira TTb. tkk. If Fouti!' Powilora are ased In time. uut7.'ePawdorawlll cure and prevent line CnOLIPA Foulz'a Powilora will preveui Uai'ib m Fowl, ea- peclnlly Turkeya. Foutz"aPowlera will Incnsaae the qnantltjr of milk nd cream twuty per oeuU and niako Uio butter Arm and aweot. Foutr'a Powdora will enre or prevent almost itmy ilRKABK that Horaea and Cattle aro heir to. FoiiTz'a Powdbu win eivi BATiaFAonojr. Bold everywhere. DAVID X. rotTTZ, Proprietor, 8ALTIMO.be. M4, I'rlraia Hoipttal, i(U H. Clark Sl.,ObUnwj. III. 0-7SneolallT,all Private, tbron to ami female DUuaiua. Consuliatlna freo. Lit'liui anj Otmtl mi'o, unrl ooe dollnr for aauplea of be! ruhbir itwmIb. and valuatila tufurnmtlou br txprnN. ltt llu A new work. prta. fro cunt, tiy ni.il. Mr.t.. rl. or'N.tur., liiy.l olo.y nr U.rrlM.. r K.u. nf Uen.r.tioii, ninifl. of Youth ana M.uh'tutl; a we.lth at oluiloe ami v.ln.ln. In formation, of Intert'.t to I.Kh .tie.. Notlilnc uirun.lv. to good t..t. .ml riIln.meut. Im'ur m.tlon otter hurora pulill.lied. No fnmlly .hn'ili t. wlthont lu 0 "Ail.lrr... Ir. A. O. OU, .t'l ( lurk fit. o o a CO Ul CO cxz per bor. Private niiiuo iun nurse lor batle durlac eon- fltifiTicnt. IM POUT ANT NOTICK The subscriber latfl of the Itrm ol Khoadea ssinlth. would respectfully inform the citizens of BLAIN and vicinity, that he lias opened a WAGON MAKEli SIIOP, anil is prepared to make new waiious and repair old ones at. short notice, and t from TliN to TWKNT V percent, cheapertlian the old (Inn. -Ulre trie a oall. Satisfaction miara nteed. . , , . JACOB SMITH, i' Blaln, August 8, 1867. NOTICF. The underslpneil citizen of Ty. rone townahlp, Periy Oimnty, fa., hereby gives notice to any and all praon, not to tress, pass on his lands to hunt, kill or shoot any gam nf any kind. Any person lolntlnn the above will be dealt with according to Inw. August 2(1, 1879. (JEUEMIAII KECK. (nn.i t tr a ii'criptirr ra-np'ii-i givlnic AnatomlealV Jlltutratuma.whU-ii v. i.l onvincw Uiot uptical that t'jfy enn bi) rt n l 17 p -rlcet nvinhnoif, and 1 flttrU lorthe ilntlriot l't U'nin, ( nrvrr a"ctfd. W Srrt St-alcd for ataivp t nny nvo. p.,, ONLY bv the ' yAlUETY STORE 1 iii:.tiotj;i to West End of the Manalon House, NEW BLOOMFIELD, PA. Just Enlarged and on Hand a New HTOCK OF DHYOOODS, GROCERIES, BPICES. TOBACCO. ' " UIOAR8. QUEENS WAKE, GLASSWARE, TINWARB, And a Fall Variety or Notions, Ac. Also have on Hand ALL STYLES OF PICTURE FRAMES, TOILET BRACKETS. WALL POCKETS, HATS RCKA8, &0.. &C, &0., &0., &0., All of which we will sell at astonishingly LOW PHIClM, To suit the times. Give us a call and save money. NO TROUBLE TO BHOW GOODS I M. Country Produce taken In Trade. "V Dou't forget the place. w ,o-n .. VALENTINE BLANK. Nov. 17. 1878 tf. D. I. C. Is an absolute and Irresistible cmre for pia'co, Narcotics and Stimulants, ramuTliig all 1(,n ut-iuiw mm jwuii. re usiiift- butoi mem. ren Biorlng tiio tafltoordfjulrcforniiTof them perfpctly BodioiiHanddi-piirtlnjr. airlntg ovoryone perted y'iuii.iniiijinconiroi mo aourwiT oi loom wives and their friends. M It prerents tha abftohito phTrfml and moral I limwtratlonthfitfnlloirs the aiiddea brakizur oil S H i roin using rtlmulaiita or narcotics. I Packatre, Dremld. to euro 1 to ft nnrw.ni m C your dntKKietis $l.1b jcr bottle. f Trninoranm MnrlaHfa BfimiM Mmnwu. .B in dvhj iuu uiuw (U1U UVVVr-llLUlllg. I Hop Bitters Mfg. Co., Rochester, N.Y. Sole Agents TTrrn Onnrli Clip dpiitrrmt all nntn. lnrwniH.J x ) ' Vl 4MJ WBi Fwuwi runt, tum nerei I The lion PaJ for Btomarh, LlTcr and Kldners I lltnunerlor to All othpi-H. L'unMbvalbu.rniion iB The fiflf, nttttf nr. r.. nf rtivi,H,M w 9 Iriftf then rvt imt Iri. ninths Ilp Hit which are in m i oiiM bcrenmo nr t n toxicant, but th Purent imd Uet Aftdi-M in wrtr nirnj, mucinir mtm cam man all othr ridiaa, I SALE BY ALL DRUGGISTS. 33 4vr CFor Vlhs A lnrr. nut Kfirf riimn!rnnMt i TVt,rtloh. i;u,iitiiiiiii' wiift mativ riMiipi:ifir uitiatnuHiit, bficctlnn of V'it,1, i.ridt-i.cn tl iiciiii!v. Tm-M-tiiifiii, i-jfiil'nt h! Btt.i incompntl ino, Kicniiiy in Min.,-n, cnuco and l.i fir?(l.'arr.,i.fi. A.I.I.- ... I..,.i..n,i. Arlvlrv to wiv, I'miiUnti.-n, in iuu kp, Celrlmt r nnj NmnmoiiT ernipsn il, C'-'tii.Bhl ihitiif, Ohm i vtiv, Cun fliipinpnt. Lot anfl Cmriliip, iiij.Htiiiicii!iioAlorrliiM, lit male inl ti-nmle, 8t:i-ue ol it iirHlucimn. Smiflp lifi eoni(lprpd, Law of jsiiiniu;-. Law ciliivori, J, 'cairi eh ti of in a rr ltd wnmcri. etc., Irio.tiiliiiJt Jjiucn-.u p.-i-ulinr to Wpmeii, their cnuiei and troain.pnt. A k f-r itriTat nd comiflfratfrrhdiiiK vt 020 nam -i, wiia lull 1 lat La. DriuiklA Ua.ltn.l A .1..' otlflyrihiliH.HouorrbOTrt. nic-cl.Vlriclurc.Varleooala. K. 1 lUMl Hn.nn.t In.iim. Q.....in.l.nri i. 1 poloncy, fMi:n Kc:..Imii, am'l tit. . nu.iuK Srrniiial t.tntiMcn., Nrr.ou.iicH.. Avrrlan lu Ktlt-tptv. I v.nri..inn n Ideal, riiv.ic.lOrr.v, LiiinnoMnl aiahl, lli-l.rlive Jllrrnorr, Tatualjie rerclpl. f-ir tlis cure uf all ,ii Krt.t Ri.nf ivalt dii.ajea aaina iH7nT' fn w,lnhoorl anil Wnmunbnod, in mitt t rr eOOpam and orer IUU lllualratic.nariihrorln t.rrj. tiling on Ilia rrnprailn ..T.lem Hint I. worth kriowjnK, m.il much that I, not publiiln il in anv olhi r work. Tli " oin bhifil Tolumc . iioililvely the h:;l l'ounl.r Ulnllcal Dook pnbllahed. aiidllioM.luMili.nVd afloi icIiuik il can hava f irir money rrdind.cl. Tim Anther la an iiperlc-noed 1 liy.lri.n of many ycara practice, (n. I. well known,) and the advice pivon, and llulri for IrcqJiiioiil hid down, will be round of great value lo those .nfleriiifr from linnuritiea of the ayrtem, early error,lo.t vlcor, or any ol the nuuicr. out troiih coniinK under Iho head of "Private" or cnronlo dAe..ef. Seritln fiiilcvo,iime..oreomnlela In one, for rriec in stamp.. Silver or Currency. (Ooi'ml. talloa coiindenlial, and letter, am p. mpily anr) Iranklr an.wered without ehnrfe.) Addretn Dr Suit,' Dijnen ary, la N. 8th St., SI.Loul., llo, (Eatabllihad 1847.) -J r or aaio oy now. Dealer. AGENTS wanted. liiiiri i ,. """" an per.on annerinir from 1 KIJKH.IIK to .end him their name, and addre... and hm'by aaiuroj Ihem that they will learn , pvuiM..ua, mi uiuuj vuvttuiae, ot . Truae. ESTATE NOTICI5. Notice Is hereby (tlreri that letter, of administration on the estate 0. S. Toomy, late ot Juniata township,- Perry Co., l'a., deceased, have been granted lu the under signed, residing In the same township. All DersollS Indebted tnanlrl Aat.n.r.A ,ra rMina.1 ed to make iminedliite payment and those having oUlms to present them duly authenticated lor settlement to TIIOS. W. TKE8SLEB. September 2, 1879. Administrator. ESTATE NOTICE. Notice is herebyglven that letters of administration on the estate of Daniel Kortonbaugh, late of Kye township. Perry countv. Pa . dee'd.. have been ?ranr.ri tn Sarah L. i'orteubaugli, residing In the same township. All persona Indebted to said estate are requested to make Immediate payment and those having clalmsltopresentthenidulyauthenticatedior set tlement. SARAH li. FOIITENBAUGII. July 8, 1879. Administratrix. UDRQF Send 25 cents In stamps or currency nUIIOt for . new KOKHK HOOK. It treats all disease!), has 35 line engravings showing posi tions assumed by sick horses, a table of doses, a RIIIlK lnrKe coneviiim or. vaiuaDie recipes, UUUI rules for telling the aeeof a horse, with an engraving showing teeth of each year, and a large amount ot other valuable horse Informa tion. Dr. Win. H. Hall says: "I have bought books that I paid $5 ami 810 for which I do not like as well as I dnvours." HF!N1 FOR A DTK. CULAlt AGENTS WANTED. 11. J. KKN. DALL, Enosburgh Falls, Vt. 20 ly By sending 85 cents, with age, JUDGE night, color of eyes and hair. you FOR w"' reCjlvft y return nuil a lULli5tl.r .. husband or wife, with name, and uaro oi marriage. Address. W. 1'OX, Box 77 FultonvlUe, N. Y. Angust26, 1879 . 8m. A FULL ASSORTMENT OF HARDWARE, IRON & STEEL WILL BE FOUND AT OUR NEW STORE-ROOM. F. MOliTIMEIt, New liloom field. DOE-SKINS. Our Stock of NKW GOODS for Men's Wear Is complete. Prices from 12 centsup. MOBTIMEK. New BlaomOeld.Pa BOOK lrntii.ttii. .Viivi.u faT Why wag Ooliah very much sur prteed when David slung the atone At himy Because such a thing never enter ed his head before. t3T A Delaware doctor gave it as his written opinion that a patient of his was afflicted with "Blleyus feavor." The bad spell killed him the patient not the doctor. "Father," said a cobbler's lad, as he was pegging away at an old shoe, "they say trout bite good now." "Well, well," replied the old gentleman, "you stick to your work and they won't bite you." r&A little girl in one of our public schools the other day had occasion to parse the word "angel." Coming to the gender she stopped In dismay, and asked her teacher If "there are any men. angels't"' 3T An honest ignoramus, who had escape'd a great peril by an act of hero ism, was much complimented for his bravery. One lady said : 'I wish I could have seen your feat,' whereupon he blushed and stammered, And finally, pointing to his pedal extremities, said : 'Well, there may be, mum.' O" There Is a paper at Janesvllle that continues to publish base ball news. Base ball, it will be remembered by old settlers, is a game played by eighteen persons who wear, shirts and drawers. They scatter around the field and try to catch a cannon ball covered with raw-hide. The game is to get people to pay two shillings to come inside the fence. BIT " Young gentlemen," said the Bev. Dr. John Brown to his class of theological students, "ye need three things to make you good ministers learning, grace, and common-sense. As for learning, I will try to set you in the way of It; as for grace, ye must always pray for it; but If ye have na brought the common-sense with ye, ye may go about your business." G3T Jones had prepared himself for a dinner to his liking. He sat to the dining-room table at peace with all the world, and said : " Now, Bridget, bring the cold shoulder of mutton. I want no hot meat this kind of weath er." Bridget hesitated a moment and then said, "But I gave It away, sir." "Gave It away! Gave my dinner away? "Yes, sir. You said If any tramps called I was to give them a cold shoulder." 3T Two Hibernians were passing a stable which had a rooster on it for a weather-vane, when one addressed the other thus : " Pat, what's the reason they didn't put a hen up there, Instead of a roos ter?" " And sure," replied Pat, "that's alsy enough. Don't ye see it would be In convenient to go for the eggs." (&A sceptic who was badgering a simple-minded old man about a miracle and Balaam's ass, finally said: " How is it possible for an ass to talk ' like a manl"' " Well," replied an honest old be liever, with meaning emphasis, "I don't see why It ain't as easy for an ass to talk like a man,as It is for a man to talk like an ass." At a legal investigation of a liquor seizure, the judge asked an unwilling witness : "What was In the barrel you had?" The reply was : " Well, your honor, it was marked 'whiskey' on one end of the barrel and 'PatDulTy' on the other end, so that whether it was whiskey or Pat Duffy was In the barrel I cannot say being I am on my oath." A Joke on the Grocer. A good story comes from Wood-, stock, Me. A grocer there owns a cow with horns of inferior length. Last week some mischievous boys obtained from the tannery a pair of cast-off horns which, with a bit of cement, they nioely fitted over the hrns of the cow and left her go home at milking time, which she did. Her owner not only failed to recoguize her, but actually used force to expel her from the premises. The village was searched in vain for the missing animal and an advertise ment was Inserted in the local paper. Day after day the stray cow was turned away, until at last, she refused to obey the verbal order, the victim of an in nocent joke seized her by the horns, which came off and in the intruder he recognized his own property, for the loss of which he had so sadly mourned.
Significant historical Pennsylvania newspapers