THE TIMES, NEW HL00MFIEL1). PA., FEMIUA11Y 18,1870.
I'tofoHHloual Cards.
JB. JUNK1N, Attorney t lw,
, New lllnninilelil, Perry on., P.
-omoe Next duur to the residence ol Jmtitf
Jiinkln. V'U
AM.'tMAKKKL, Attnrney-st-Lsw,
, New hIiiiiiiiiihIiI, Perry county, P.
i-g" Olllce opposite the Mstislon House, uud
til ran d Mrs enst of llio Pjst-OUlce.
T BVflS l'OTI'Klt,
AXTOUNKV AT IAW,
NEW ni.UOMFIKLI), PEltKt CO., PA.
-(!llms uroinptly secured collected
Wrlttiiusaudall lenal business varefully attend
ed to. nyi
CIIAKLE8 11. HMILEV, Attorney at Law.
New Dlnomltelil, Perry Co. Pa.
Oltlue two door e.nt of Jmeih Hm lli'e
botei. ( A ugusl i, 17.1.
- . -
WTM. A.rtPONHLKH, Attoriiey-t-l.aw,
W OIHce ndJoinliiK his residence, on Knsl
Main street, New IMoonilleld, Perry oo., Pa. Si If
J DUN U.8UAT TO, rtiimeon Dentist.
New Hloonilleld, Perryoo., Pa.
All Rinds of Mechanical anil Surgical Dentistry
done In the best manner, and at reasonable
prloiliee at his residence one door East of r he
Robinson House, and opposite Win, A. Huonsler'i
Law olllce. Vxiy
M. N. HE1MEKT. Attorney at Law,
Mew moonuieiu, i eiryco.,ra.
Uioomlleld, 3.131V.
LKWIM POTT EH. NOTAHT l'UM10, New HlOOm
Held, Perry Va. l'a.
Uedn, Bonds, MHi'tKUKf n(l Leases carefully
prepared and acknowledKCinents taken, All
kinds of Pension and Homily paper drawn and
oertllled, will also take depositions to be rei.d Id
any court In the United mate's. 7 It) ly
C II AH. J. T, Mul NTIH R, Attorney-at-Law.
New Hloonilleld. Perry oo.. Pa.
All professional business promptlyandfaltti.
fully attended to. 8 Sir
-IITM. A. MOItltlSON,
W JUSTICE OK THE PEACE and fl KNHR AL
COLLKCTOK, NrwIIrkmantown, Peri yco , Pa.
t-lteniltnnreswlllbe made promptly lor all
Collections made. 744
Oil AH. A. BAItNETT, Attorney-at-l.aw,
New llloomlleld.Perrycn.,Pa
sVOfflcenn Mich street. Norlhslde, nearly op
poslte the Presbyterian Church. .1 2 ly
ML. LltlUETT. ATT IllNKV AT LAW.
Nuwiort, I'urry Omntil. Pa.
II ivlnn perm inentlv located at Newport, will
Rive prompt and careful atieution to all busi
ness n 'trs iiiinmilteil to hit earn.
. -Illliie, No. 'I'l North Second Street.
Newport. April 2? 1S7H.
DICHARD L. MAGEE,'
1A
JUSTICE OK TUB PRACR,
r Olllce at his residence. In CENT It K T'
T Olllce at nis resilience, in t;n i it k limn
fllllP, Perry County, Penn'a., one inlleHouthof
New Bloomlleld. 10 J
.......
0,
P. BOLLINGER, M.D,
bavliiK located In Newport, otrors Ills Profes
ilonal services to all who may neud them.
Chronic diseases of every description curod.
. Dtllja In Dr. Bhatto's building, 4tlt Street
March 4, 1878.
QEORGE H. MART IN
GENERAL AGKNT.
DLAIN, 1'JBUKY COUNTY, PA.
Hneclal aitnntlon Riven to the collection of
slalmt, and any other business entrusted to him
-will receive prompt attention. Charges moderate.
April, Mh, 1877.
JEATHER
TIJ.K subscriber has now on hand at
LOW 1M11CKS,
Good Sole Leather,
Kip of Superior Quality,
Country Calf Skins,
French Calf,
LININGS, ROANS, &c.
F. Mortimer,
NEW BLOOM FIELD, PA.
American and Foreign Patents.
GIL MORE & 0.. Successors to CfTIPM AN,
1 1 -4 t K It & CO., Solicitors. Patents pro
cured mall countries, NO FEES IN ADVANDK.
No charm unless the patent Is icranted. No fees
for makliin preliminary examinations. No adill
tlonal fees for obtaining and conducting a re
hearing. By a recent decision of the Commis
sioner, ALL rejected applications may be revived.
Special attention glvemo Interference Cases be
fore the Patent olllce. Extensions before Con
ress, Infringement Suits In different States and
all litigation appertaining to Inventions or Pat
wits. Send Stamp to Ollinore & Co., for pamph
let of sixty pages.
Ls.NO CiSKi, LAND WARRANTS S SCRIP.
Contested Land Cases prosecuted before the IT.
fl. Ueueral Land Olllce and Deptrtinent of the
Interior. Private Land Claims, MINING and
PRE BWPTION malms, and HOW KSTK A n eases
attended to. Land Scrip In 40, Ml. any 1M) acre
iocbs lor saie. mis scrip is assignaoie. ana can
e located In the name of the purchaser upon anr
government land subject to private entry, at
1.2S per acre. It Is of equal value with Bounty
Land Warrants. Send Stamp to Uilmqre & Co.,
for pamphlet of Instruction.
ARREARS OK PAY AND BOUNTY.
OFFICERS, SOLDIERS and SAILORS of the
late war. orthelr heirs, arelu many casesentltled
to money from the (Jovernment of which they
have no knowledge. Write full history of service,
and state amount of pay and bounty received.
Enclose stamp to G1LM0RE & CO.. arid a full re
ply, after examination, will be given you free.
H E N S I o N 8, .
All OFFICERS. SOLDIERS, and SAILORS,
wounded, ruptured, or injured In the late war,
however slight, can obtain a penson by addressing
GILMORK St CO.
Cases prosecuted by OILMOTtE CO, before
the Supreme Court of the United States, the Court
of Claims and the Southern Claims Commission.
Each department of our business Is conducted
rn aseparate bureau, under charge of the same
experienced parties, embloyed by the old firm.
Prompt attention to all business entrusted to
f.ILMOKE & CO., Is thus secured. We desire to
win success by deservlnglt.
Address: UILMORK SCO..
t 629 F. Street.
Washington, D. C.
Onr Stock of NEW OOODS
fnr Mai,'., IUh.Ii nm,,t.i.
iJt Prices from V2U cents iid.
F. MORTIMER. New Bleomtleld.Pa
Don't you want snme cheap
foods for Pants and Suits f
t you do, don', fall to ex
amine the splendid assortment for sale by F,
MORTIMER. You can suit yourself In style and
price. , ,
4iRfi week In vonrown town. i OutAk free
UU No risk. Reader. If you want a business
at winch persons of either sex can make great
pav all Hi time f.hv work, write for full pa'Moti.
lars to IL HALLETT & CO., Portland, Me.U ly
L'iitladelplila AihertlHcmciitR
H
ALL, SHENK & CO.,
405 Si 407 Market Street,
lM.llllllllllll,
(Old Bland uf Barernft A Co.,)
WI10L1MAMS DEALEIIS
IN
DltY GOODN,
January, 1R7S If
Red SolelA uther Depot
EDWARDS & CASTLE,
BH NORTH FOUHTII HT., TIlirA.
LEATHER AND FINDINGS,
FM I Ant of JhHt I'hlttt. tli uwl Kip, A'. C.
Jlruml, 4 :int
G
RAYBILL , & CO.,
Wholesale Dealersln
Oil Cloths, Carpets,
Shades, Brooms,
Carpet Chain, Wadding,
Batting, Twines, &o,
And a line assortment of
WOOD and WILLOW WAKE,
No. 42(1 Market street, above 4th,
PHILADELPHIA.
EIGLER&SWEARINGEN
Successors to
SH AFFNElt, Z1EOLER ft CO.,
Importers and Dealers lu
lloulery, 3lwvtH
ItlllMiiM, NiiMpentlerK,
THREADS, VOMIiS,
and every variety of
TRIMMINGS & FANCY GOODS,
No. 80, North Fourth Street.
PHILADELPHIA, I'ENN'A.
Agents for Lancaster Combs.
JEW. T. MOUL,
REPRESENTING
Weimer, Wright & Walkin,
Muuufacturer & Wliolcsnlo Dealers
IN
Boots & Shoes
No. 302 Market Street,
PIIILADIOLI'IIIA.
w.
H. KENNEDY
TRIMBLE, BRITTON A Co.,
WHOLESALE GROCERS,
No. 605 MARKET STREET.
PHILADELPHIA.
Tl
pURNITURE REMOVAL.
THE subscriber will be found one door north of
his former location, where lie will tie pleased' to
ee his old friends an I former patrons, and as
many NEW ONES as are disposed to give him a
vail.
IIo can sell all kinds of
FURNITURE
Lower than ever, as the expenses are prcatly re
duced, and will mi iir ii 1 1 tee that the (JUALITV
shall be equal to the best In tho olty.
first class Upholstered Goods and Mutresses
asharetolore a specialty.
AVER1LL BARLOW, Agt.,
43 South Seoond Stteet,
4 ly
PI1LADELPIIIA.
gOWER, POTTS & CO.,
EOOESELLEHS. STATIONSES,
And Dealers In
CURTAIN & WALL-PAPERS.
ttLANK BOOKN
Always on hand, and madeto Order.
' Nos. SID Market and 623 Minor Streets
PHILADELPHIA, PA
ALSO
Publishers of Handers'New Readers. and
Brooks' Arithmetics. Also, Robert's Hisloryei
the United States, Felton'sOutllne Mapa.tiu
PhllAlelihlH AiirertlHementM.
LU0A8'
READY MIXED TAINTS I
NOWATEll.NO CHEMICALS, NO BENZINE,
BUT A I'UHE
It li A D Y FOIl USE.
Miiiitl ChihIm,
80 HEAUrirTL MIADl'S OF FAINT
BENT UT MAIL,
ITIS PUT ON I.IK E OTIIEII PAINT. MA UK
WITH LEAH ANlMilL, VIZi NICELY
IHlUHIIhU OUT NUT H OW Kl)
ON LIKE WA1E1I I'AINT.
TRY IT,
And Vim V III rrovA It (n tin the Ileal
Liquid 1'iilnl In tho Murkft.
.JOHN IIJOAH OO.,
Philadelphia,
MANUFACTUHE1IH OP
SnlHH nml Impcrlul French tirrrn,
WHITE LEAD, COLORS,
VARNISHES, &c
LOYDrsUPPLEETwAlfON ;
i
W1I0LE8ALK
HARDWARE HOUSE
No, 026 Market Street.
JMillndolplila, renn'a.
JANNEY &T ANDREWS
WHOLESALE
GROCERS,
No. 123 MAHKET ST.,
Philadelphia.
WHOLESALE GROCERS
AND
TEA DEALERS,
North East Corner of 2nd and Arch Street,
Philadelphia Penn'a,
J.
S. DOUGHERTY
WITH
D. J. HOAR & CO.,
WBOLI3AL1
BOOT AND SHOE
WAREHOUSE,
ttia MAKKUT STREET,
Philadelphia, Penn'a.
A LECTURE
Youna Men 1
J ust Published, In a Sealed Envelope. l'rloe.O cts.
A Lecture on the Nature. Treatment and Had.
leal cure of Seminal Weakness, or Spermiilor
rlioua. Induced by Self-Abuse, Involuntary Emls
sluiis, liiiioiency. Nervous Oebilliy, and ImpeiM
nieutsto Marriage generally: Consumption. Ed.
Ilepsy. and Fltsi Mental and Physical Incapacity.
c.-lly ItOBEKT J CULV EHWeLL, M.U.au'
thor of tho "Green Hook," &c.
The world renowned author, In this admirable
Lecture, clearly proves from his own experience
that that, the awful consequences of Sclf-Abuso
may be effectually removed without medlclne.aiid
without dangerous surgical operations, bougies.
Instruments, rings, or cordials; pointing out a
mode of cure at once certain and elfectual, by
whlchoverysulferer.no matter whst his condi
tion may be may cure himself cheaply, privately
and radically. nr i
This Lecture will prove a boon to thou
sands and thousands.
Sent, under seal, in a plain envelope, to any ad
dress, on receipt of six cents, or two Hostage
stamps.
Address the Publishers, 4iiy
THE CULVEItWELL MEDICAL CO.,
41 Ann St., New York s pout Ottloe Bui, 4m
A FKISK GJIFTX
of m MEDICAL COM MOV SENSE
HOOK.t t auypsraon sullerlng with Consnmp.
tion. Asthma. Catarrh, Hronchltls, Loss of Void
er Sore Throat. Send name and post-nfllce ad
dress, with two I) cent postage stamps, and stale
your slcknes.. The book is elegantly Illustrated.
(144 pp. 12 mo. 1879). The Information It con.
tains, In the providence of God. has saved many
lives. The author has been treating diseases of
the Nose, Throat, and Lungs, as a special nrsc
t ee. since 1Ho7. Address Dr. N. 11. WOLFE.
Cincinnati, Ohio. , 4 Wit.
TICK'S 1XOUAI, .l!IEi:.
A beautiful work of ion Pages, One (;olnrel
Flower Plate, and 30 Illustrations, with Descrlp.
tlons of the best Flowers and Vegetables, and
how to grow them. All for a 6 Cent Stamp, hi
English or German.
The Flower and Vegetable Garden. 17S Pages.
Six Colored Plates, and many hundred Engrav
ings. Kor 60 cents I n paper covers: l.iO lu ele
gant cloth. In German or English.
Vlck's Illustrated Monthly Magaz'ne 31 Pages,
a Colored Plate lu every numlier and many line
Engravings. Price il.ii a year: Five Copies fer
t .00. Specimen Numiiers sent for 10 cents.
Vick's Seeds are the best In the world. Send
Five Cent Stamp for a Kloial Guide, containing
List and Prlo-s, and plenty of Information.
Address: , ' JAMKS V1CK,
KocliBstor. N. Y.
MPOBTAST NOTICB The subscriber
late ol the hrm of Hhoades It hmith, would
,M.spnutfully inform the eitliens of BLAIN
md vicinity, that he has opened WAGON
tlAKElt SHOP, and is prepared to make new
vin ami repair old ones at. short notice, and
w 'r'V" JEN to TWENTY percent, cheaper thau
he old rt nn.
W(llve me a call. Satisfaction guaranteed.
, , . JACOB SMITH.
Blaln, August 9,1867.
FOtTTZ'S
HORSE AND CATTLE POWDERS
TT I,.. r. M.....,t,l.....
Ho ftoSNH Will HIS Ol COI.IO. Hotts or Lima Tu.
TKS, If KiHitr's I'nwrlnnl sre lined In lllnp.
Font' To wtlcrtw III rurn sml nrnvent HtMl rrrnr.RRA
Fuiiui I'liwilrm will prnnanl Utrss is tunuu-
pilslly fnrlcKn.
Kinussi I'vwilsrs will tncrtws the flnnntlty of mil
snij rri.nu twanty nr Cf and niak tlia butlar Dno
am) iwn,t.
Kiiiiti'p Pnwilrni will cure or prevent slmost avasT
llsnAns tlmt llinii.s nnrl cntils are linlr to.
Koiitz's pownasa WILL iTHiTiarOTI0.
Bold avtrywhorn.
AVI M. roVTI, rroprlator,
BALTlMOMa, HI
JHE MANSION HOUSE,
Now Hloomlleld, I'cnn'n.,
GEO. V. ENKMINGh II,
Proprietor.
II A VINO leased this proiieityand furnished It
lu a o imforlabe manner, task a ahaie of the
pulillo pat'ouage, and issui e my fi lcmls who slop
wlih me th.it every esei tlon will be n iide to
render their stay U asaiit,
- A tiarefulliostler always In attendance.
Aprllfl.JH7S.tl
JHE EAGLE HOTEL,
Now IHoom field, Ppnn'ii.
HAVING purchased Oils p'operty and rehlted
and reftirnlslied It lu a coiiiiorialile manner. I
nsk ashnre of the piililln pnlroiiiige and assure
mv friends who stop with metlmlevery exerllon
will be made to render their siuv pleHsnnt
II. L. IIOCIIENNHILDT.
March IV.1H7R. tf
T7ISTATK NIITICK.-Notice Is hereby glv
'j en. that Letters of Administration on the
Esluleof Naiali Hehr, of Carroll t wo Perrv conn
tv. l'a , deceased, have been granted to the tin
derslgued, residing In Hprleg township.
All persons Indebted to sslu ei-late are leipiesti'd
to make payment, and those having claim will
present them duly aiilheulleiiled to the under
signed lor settlement wllhoiii delav.
U. W. GF.IIIl,
Adininlstrntor.
rP. O. Address. Ktllottshnrg.
Cai.vin Nriiaon. Attorney.
November 6, 1H7D. pd
) E ATll 1 ) V, 11 AT' E 1 ).
TJIOlt over M years SELLI'.US' LIVEIl PILLS
" have b en the "tauiliird remedy for Liver
Compliilnts. Costlveness. Hick lleaditche. Pain In
Sliouiders or Hack, lzzinoss. Coaled Tongue,
Fever and Ague, nnd all diseases arising Irom a
tlei aiiKi d "I ile nl the Liver or StoinHch. Thomas
Admits, of lllg Handy. Kv.hhvs: "Hellers' Pills
have savetl hundred of tlollats In doclnrs' lillls In
Ihlscouutry." (. E. SEhLEUS & CO., Prop is,
l'lttsbiiigli, 1'n.
THE GREAT BLOOD TONIC.
For Hie cure of all diseases arising from Impure
lllood, nod for Invigorating and strengthening
the vital orgHiis. Arevou weak, nervous, delilll
taietl. imle and emaciated f Have you lost your
appetite? Have yu nausea pam lu the back,
Kn.l If to. Dr. Llilsev's lllood Hcarcherwlll drive
out Hie disease and bring bji'k Hie II LOOM OF
II KA ll II. pimples. Hulls. K yslin-las, Teller,
Salt lllieitm tin , are but surface Indiciitlniis of
lllood Diseases: and Dr. Llilsev's Hlood Searcher,
bv pin Hying the system, softens the skin and
beaulllles the comp'exlon. Sold by all druggists,
fl per bottle. K. E. SELLEKS & CO., Proprie
tors, Pittsburgh, Pa. G IS
W o 4B:
A full assortment of
BAlt lltON,
HOUND I1ION.
OVAL IltON.
BCKOLL IKON
STEEL AND IRON TIRE,
Norway Iron, Nail Rods,
PLAIN AND GALVANIZED
HOOF in ON,
OF ALL WIDTHS.
c, cCc, A'c.f
on hand and for sale at the LOWEST MAItKET
PKICEty
V. MORTIMER,
yew llloomjleld.
BOOTS
Do you want HOOTS of any kind T
If so, call and see the
IVKGH HTOCK
HOW OFFERED BT
V. MOIlTIMKll,
N
OTIOK !
NOTICE Is hereby elven that atiDllcstlon wlH
be made to the legislature of Pennsylvania, at
its next session. for the repeal of an act. passed the
Hlh day of April, 18U. extending to Perry county
me provisions of an act "relating lo tne lees ol
the Sheriff of Cumberland and Snyder couutles,"
approvea tutn oi April. is.
SOLOMON KOWEB.
J. W. GANTT.
GEO. CAM PIIELL,
December 17, 188. CommisHioners.
BOOICS.MILLIOn
A Urn. im nrt rninnlHOtili1 tm
I Wedlock. ciiiUiiiii-f. wttfi lutuiv
othrr, Itio lullwinK ehaptmi A
rompcUiit WuiiiAitliuor). tovreeii" of
ULltUlUi. J Hlrriiil in WitnieR, ClUM and
tiiaiiiitiu, nuiiLi iu uriui n'vuiii, Aii lew tv nupusnua.
AiKlr to Wiv-'t, ProniitutiuTi, ii raiur. CVIIhit bimI
MftlrimmiT coin pin d, CDCU(fl tlntira, Coott ptioii, CoB
Anetnrnt, Iov buJ ('ourttlii. Iiiinlimii to Mrriwt(
IbkibIb Bud trnuiv, CH-irnc uf luprodurtivn, fcintle il
ontidrrtvl, Lmm uf Alrii(.'f, l.w vl Dirofc. lfrririilB
ff inirrtMl womon, ic., Includitii lima9 perullar to
Women, thefr esut and irMlmrnl. A book fnr priTtt
Bnd conilderatr rcBUinff ol OzO piR-f, wuii fulilUU
grBfaUgt, br mail, Mltd f"f AO ctuU.
'THa Private Medical Avt9or,
MJ syphilis, Uoucrruaift, siiet, uiricture, v mrt9tm,
Jtc, mito on Fpermat'orht-BB. fiexuftl IK-blHty, aodloi'
potnoy, from balt-abuac Bud a cr a. rBuamfC BiiiinrJ
I.miniin, N' rvoiMiisTsa. Avi nion 10 bm-viy,Ctnfunun l
Idraa, Pliyiical decay. D.imdbmuI aiirru. lirtrtltvMmorra
1M trf fVxitl Pow.r, eir. itiakilijf luttit iiupmprr
or atihappv. ttivinx Irntmnic, and xrrtt manr
valoabt rrrrlpta for tht tun uf all purl ft dntaai mm
liU, w AO yltti t, u frrttt.
"M1io:i, A-lvIc,"
A ketriTO on Manhood and Woiu-.tiUrml. in tent- or
all thrre in ut nicely tKiunJ volunMs $1. Thry ctiaiit
OOO paicr-a and ovrr loo illunlraticna,rnbrvriiia; vvrry.
thing tin tli f -nera-Itsj ayaUui tiat ia worili kkowin, and
much that ia nut piiliiidird in anyuihif vurk. 'i t-nm
bi.ud volume ia potil'.vely thf b IVptiUr ilr'lu-sl b ok
p.ii-Hahfd, ami inau(i.tlr-a after Kriiitijr it can bvs
ineiriiinnry rHnnd d. TheAtithfr ( an xt?ricnccd
rltytii iunufiiiaujr ymra pra. tirf, tnaia kuown.) and
tn advU.t ffiven, bimI Hiiea fur trrarntnit laid d n, vtii
be found of ffrcttt vatu to hnA lulU-rn ff.-m impmittc
of Uieayatrnt, early crrora.'irtt viRar, or ai-r ot the nuuicr
oua trwulma esiiiiiiiK uml. r hrad of Pn?aU" or
Chronio" dlat?a. Hen tin nn( vo inn", or compio
lnoiva, fr l'ricv in Mampi. fiiirer or Currm. y. (0tU4l
UUon euiifitlrntlat. Bud Itir -raa'M p miv'f Bn irnkif
BBtvp-sMlwiiHrnit cha.) A.ldrraat I'p, BtiM' Dipo
ary, IS H. bib St., 61. Looia, alo. (ZatobHahod 14,1)
JLj- ror tale by Newt Dealers. AGLN I 3 wanted.
run. in lis inviu an iKftoThi rui'ni "m i
Knrri KK to U b... lUir i .uj- av.i ad.:rr.
Vana nrri uy a?irea tint mat tnjr i i i-am
v
mm
t3f It l iM't KPtintlly known that
Huriice Orei-ly whs a Went 1nlnter.
Whin liuny, Wo alwny pulntwl and tula
youiiif imm logo went.
tZ" The clnss In grstiiniar will uleRst
ettitnl up and answer tlil" miesiliin:
' How do you parse tlie word dollar r"
"I'lnnae, Kir, If It In n truilii ddllud, you
iarne It for ijncty cents."
SV A traini) claimed to liave drank
liratidy and water with Nenl lXiw, and
the whole Htnte of Mulne was nKllnted ;
hut he HiiliHetiumitly explained that lie
drank the hramly and Neal the water,
and jieaee wan liiiiueilliitely rest-ored.
. . ,
QiT When Johnny wan quentlii((l as
to why hla eiiKiiK('ient with Mm II.
Iiad Im i'Ii broken oil', he rolled IiIh eyes,
looklnir very much indued, and uroaned.
" Oil I idie turned out a deceiver." But
he (orient to mention that he we u de
ceiver whom Hhe had turned out.
B3T An old colored preacher lu Allan.
tn, (Jit., wan lecluiliiK a youth of hln
fold nlmnt the kIii of dimcliiK, when the
lufler protented that the Hllile plainly
said, "There'" a time to dunce." "Yes
dttr am a time to (liitice," rutld the dark
divine; "and It'a when ahoy gel", a
whl pjil ii ' for gwliio to a lull I."
8-ir"VVttter." wild l'rofeHorWortman,
wagKlxhly, "In not a vegetable, all bough
U leavea In Hummer." "Mo," added
the new Hinart boy who came lu tliU
term, "and rum In not a vegetable, al
though rum blosHoniH." And then the
teacher mdd the cIikh would coullne its)
iciimiks to the text book.
-"Uot all kinds of tlea here J"' nald
a would-be, wit, entering a well-know
furnlHhliig Htoie. "Yen, fir," replied
tho Hhopman. "Well, I abould like a
plg-nlyo," replied the customer. "All
right, hir ; Junt bend down your hogs
head, and 'we'll hike your measure,"
sulil the ready Hhopmau.
Bvi7' A young New Yorkerat a party
nuked and received the eminent of a
young lady to accompany her home.
Jle waited in antonbliiuent while tho
company fclowly departed, and finally
hinted that it wan time for them to go.
"Oh 1" wild (die demurely, "I am board
ing here."
gjTlt was a very honest old Dutch
Judge In Hchohurle county who listened
for Kcveral hours to the argument of
counnel and then mild : "Ilia cane baa
been ferry ably argued on both nldeu,
and dere have been tome ferry nice
points of law brought up. I nhall duke
dree days to goiiNider tnene points, but
1 nlmll ewentually decide for de blain
tliT." 63""I'halret I'hlora," wrote an am
orous youth who in smitten with the
phonetic crn,e, "phorever dinmlna your
plieurn, and pbly with one wboe
jiliervent pliancy ia pbixed on you
alone, l'liriendn, phauiily, phather
phorget them, and think only of the
pheliclty of the pliuturel l'bew phel
lowa are so phastidioun an your I'lierdl
nand, so pheign not phonduess if you
pheel it riot. Phorcgo phrollc, and
answer phinally, I'hlora."
"Oh, I'herdluand, you phooll" was
pbalr I'hlora'n curt reply.
Not as Stupid as He Looked.
A stupid looking countryman halted
before a blacksmith's shop, the proprie
tor of which was forge! ng a shoe, and
eyed the performance with much inter
est. The brawny smith, dissatisfied
with the man's curiosity, held the red
hot iron suddenly under bis nose,
hoping to make him beat a hasty
retreat.
"If you give me a sixpence I wilMick
it," said the countryman. "I'll stop
the braggart's jaw," thought the smith,
as he took from hi pocket a sixpence,
and held it out. The countryman
quickly grabbed the coin, linked it. and
walked away whistling. "Did you ever
catch a weasel asleep r"
More Coming.
The brighter lights of the Strakosch
opera troupe gathered round them a few
friends on Saturday evening, for a quiet
little supper. The hi Ik turned on Max
Strakosch's new baby.
"He's got a tooth," said a gentleman
sitting at one end of the table.
"Max is very proud of hia baby,"
said Miss K el log, who was sitting at the
other end.
"Yes," said the gentleman, still car
rying out his own train of thought,
"and he's got two more coming."
Miss Kellogg shrieked and dropped
her napkin and her knife and fork,
while the gentleman still further enliv
ened matters by insisting that hia
reference was solely to the teeth.
mum