THE TIMES, NEW BLOOM FIELD. PA., "JANUARY 141879. Professional Cards. JK. JUNKIN, Attorney-t-I.w. New HliMiinllnld, Perry oo., P. e-Ollloe Neit door to the residence o( Juris Junkln. . : - , ' 4.rtf AM. MARKEL. Attorney-nt-I.RW, . New ltloomlltthl, Ferry oniinty, P. NT Ofllce directly opposite the Post-Office, and adjoining the Mansion House. T BW19 rOTXKll, ATTUHNKY AT LAW, . NEWBLOOMF1ELD, 1'ERIU OO..PA. -(:iatms nromiitlf secured ' collected Writings aud all legal business carefully attend ed to. yi CHARLES 11. HMlLKlF, Attorney at Law. New Blonmlleld, Perry Co. Pa. .UIIIob with 0. A. Harnett, Esq., on High Street, north side, nearly opposite the Presbvte rla Church. August 8M872. "1TTM. A. 8PON8LER, Attorney-at-Law, Y Olllce- adjoining Ms residence, on Kast Main street, New Bloomlleld. Perry eo., Pa. 3 2 ly JOHN O. SHATTO, Burgeon Dentist, New Uloomlield,Perryco.,Pa. All kinds of Mechanical and Hurglcal Dentistry done In the best manner, and at reasonable prices. . . . . .OfTlce at his residence one door East of the Robinson House, and opposite Win. A. Bponsler'a LawolUce. 8 Sly "11TM. M. BE1BERT. Attorney-at-Law, VY New Bloomlleld, Perryoo., Pa. Bloomlleld, 8 S3 lv. LEWIS POTTER, notary PUBLIC, New Bloom. Held, Perry Co., Pa. Deeds, Bonds, Mertgages and Leases carefully Erepared and acknowledgements taken. All imis of Pension and Hountv tinners drawn aud certllted, will also take depositions to be retd In auyoourt In the United States. TlUly CHAS. J. T, MolNTIRE, Attorney-at-Law, New lllonmliehl, Ferry uo., Fa. 0W All professional business promptlyandf alth fully attended to. 3 2 1 v. -ITTJVT. A. MOltlllSON, W JUSTICE OF THE PEACE and GENERAL COLLECTOR, NbwOehmantown, Perryco., Pa. 9-ltinlttanceswlllbe made promptly for all Collections made. 744 OHAS. A. BARNETT, Attorney-at-Law, New Bloomlleld. Perry co., Pa -Ofrlce on high street, North side, nearly op posite the Presbyterian Church. 8 2 ly ML. LIGGETT. Attohnbt-at-Law, Newport, Perry County. Pa. Having pernianeni-iy louiireu nowiimi, nm kirlvA nntmut miri rnrnflll Attention to all blisl- yiess matters committed to his care. ,,tllna XI 'Jik Vni.Hi auiiniiil mraat Newport, April w RICHARD L. MAGEEi JUSTICE OF THE PEACE, - Olllce at his residence. In CENTRE TOWN SHIP, Perry County, Penn'a., one mile South of New Bloomlleld. 10 3 0 P. BOLLINGER, M. D , having located In Newport, offers Ms Frofes sional services to all who may need them. Chronic diseases of every, description cured. S3. Olllce In Dr. Shatto'a building, 4Ui Btreet March 4, 1878. QEORGE H.. MARTIN GENERAL AGENT. BLAIN, PBHIVY QOUNTY, PA. Special attention given to the collection of claims, and any other business entrusted to him will receive prompt attention. Charges moderate. April, 19th, 1877. ATTATCHMAKER & JEWELER. CEO. C. HENRY, Watchmaker and Jeweller, No. 26, Carlisle St., New Bloomlleld Fa. Repairing of all kinds well and promptly done. EATHER THE subsorlbor has now on hand at LOW PRICES, Good Sole Leather, Kip of Superior Quality, Country Calf Skins, , French Calf, LININGS, ROANS, &c. F. Mortimer t NEW BLOOMF1ELD, PA. American and Foreign Patents. GILMORE & CO.. Successors to CHIPMAN, HOSMER A CO., Solicitors. Patents pro cured Inall countries. NO FEES IN ADVANCV. No charge unless the patent In granted. No fees for making preliminary examinations. No addi tional fees for obtaining and conducting a re hearing. By a recent decision of the Commis sioner, ALL rejected applications may be revived. Special attention given to Interference Cases be fore the Patent ofllce. Extensions before Con gress. Infringement Suits In dltlerent States, aud all litigation appertaining to Inventions or Pat ents. Send Stamp to Gllinore 4i Co., for pamph let of sixty pages. LAND CASEij, LAND WARRANTS & SCRIP. Contested Land Cases preseauted before the U. R. General Land Olllce and Department of the Interior. Private Land Claims, MINING and PRE EMPT10N Claims, and HOMESTEAD cases Attended to. Land Scrip in 40, 80, any KIO acre piecas for sale. This Scrip is assignable, and can le located In the name of the purchaser upon any Government land subject to private entry, at 1.25 per acre. It Is of equal value with Bounty Land Warrants. Send Stamp to Gilmore & Co., for pamphlet of Instruction. ARREARS OK PAY AND BOUNTY. OFFICERS, SOLDIERS and SAILORS of the late war. or their heirs, are in many cases entitled to nieuey from the Government of which they have no knowledge. Write full history of service, and state amount of pay and bounty reoeived. Enclose stamp to GILMORE & CO., and a lull re ply, after examination, will be given you tree. PKNsIONS. All OFFICERS, SOLDIERS, and BAILORS, wounded, ruptured, or Injured In the late war, however slight, can obtain a penson by addressing GILMORK&CO. Cases prosecuted by GILMORE ft CO., before the Supreme Court of the United States, the Court of Claims and the Southern Claims Commission. Each department of our business U conducted tn a separate bureau, under charge of the same experienced parties, employed by the old firm. Prompt attention to all business entrusted to GILMORE & CO., Is thus secured. We desire to win success by deservlnglt. ' Address: UILMORB &CO.. ' - miF. Street, ' Washington, D. C. Our Stock of NEW GOODS for Men's Wear Is complete. Prices from l-'A cents up. MORTIKKH. New Bleomheld.Pa Newport Advertisements. W. 11. 8. COOK & CO., Agree to sell all kinds of I . LUMBER AND SHINGLES, for LESS MONEY than anyother dealers In this county. We will also take good Timber on the stump or delivered at nor Mill In exchange for Lumber, &o, We use deal Held Pine and Hem lock only, W. B. 8. COOK CO., Uewport, Perry Co., To. October 10, 1870. JONES' BROS, & CO., (Fornmrly John Jones & Son,) Grain & Produce MERCHANTS, Brick Warehouse, Front Bt., above Market, Newport, Perry County, Pa. WE would respectfully Invite the patronage of the farmers, ami the public genernlly, as the HIGHEST PRICES the market will afford, will be paid for all kluds of GRAIN, FLOUR, PRODUCE SEEDS AND RAILROAD TIES We have constantly on hand, FISH, BALT, PLASTER, CEMENT COAL, IRON, BTEEL, HORSE SHOES, &0..&0. FOR SALE AT THE LOWEST RATES. " Orders promptly tilled, Newport, July 20, 1876 tf JJEWPORT DRUG STORE. Having on hand a complete assortment of the fol lowing articles, the subscriber ssks a share of your patronage. Drugs and Medicines, CHEMICALS OF ALL KINDS, Also a full stock of Concentrated Kome&ies, ESSENTIAL OILS. Brushes, Terfumeryt IIAIlt OIL, AND FANCY ARTICLES. Also always on Band,' PURE WINES & LIQUOR FOR MEDICINAL and SACRAMENTAL PURPOSES PHYSICIANS ORDERS. Carefully and Promptly Filled B. M. EBY, Newport, Penn'a. J B. HARTZELL, Wholesale Tobacco Dealer, Wright's Itulldlng, UTEWPOUT, PA. Sole Agent for Lorilard's Superior Tobaccos. Also, A Large Stock of STA TIONERY always on hand at LOW PRICES. -Country Merchants supplied with Goods at Philadelphia prices. ' Your orders are solicited. 9 44 CALL AND SEE ME. The Subscriber has opened a Store opposite the Railroad Depet, at NEWPORT, where hels pie pared to supply OYSTERS, GROCERIES, Pc, At the lowest market price. A full stock on hand. The patronage of the pnbllc Is solicited. tf. WM.ICKES, Newport, Fa, : Grain Wanted at the Newport mils. THE undersigned will nay a premium on good, dry, clean era! n of all Kinds. MILTON B. ESHELMAN, 481y. Newport, Perry county. Pa. I M POUT ANT JTOTICK. The subscriber late of the Arm of Khoades ft Smith, would respectfully inform the citizens of BLAIN and vicinity, that he has opened a WAGON MAKER-SHOP, and Is prepared to make new wations and repair old ones at short notice, and at from TEN to TWENTY per cent, cheaper thau the old nnn. -Glve me a call. Satisfaction guaranteed. , JACOB SMITH. Blaln, August 8. 1867. tf?R week;ln your own town. $5 Outfit free u No risk. Reader, If you want a business at which persons of either sex can make great pay all the time they work, write for full particu lars to U. H ALLETT & CO., Portland, Me..U ly auctioneers. JAS. P. LATCHF0RD, A UCTIONEEE , Would respectfully Inform the public that he w cry sales at reasonable prices. All orders will reoelve promnt attention. DONN ALLY'S MILLS, PERRY CO., PA. TAMES CLEELAND U Auctioneer, Offers his services to the clllxnns bf Perry and Cumberland counties. Post olllce address, Slierniansdale, Perryco., Pa. D.HENRY, A VCTIONEEIt . Blaln, Perry county Pa. "Trms Moderate and every exertion made to render satisfaction. wt Auctioneer. The undersigned gives notice that he will cry sales nt any point In Perry or Dauphin counties. Orders are solicited aud promptatteatlou willbe given. K. D.WELLS, New Buffalo Perry co., Pa. Q B. HARNISH, : AUOTioisiaioit, Delvllle. PerryCo., Pa. Charges moderate, and satisfaction guaranteed. g tf D AVID M'COY, AUCTION 1 . I0KESBUHO, TERRY COUNTY. PA. Ml. Clurgej moderate, to all calls. Prompt attention paid H 0ME MANUFACTURE. LOOK OUT! Iwouldrespectivelylnfornt niyfriendsthat Jin teudcalliug upou them with a supply of good of my OWN MANUFACTURE. Coiislstlngof IJASSIMER8, OASSINETS, FLANNELS, (Plaluaudbar'd) CAltPETB, Aco., to exchange for wool or sell for cash. J. M. BIXLER. CbntrbWooi.bm FlCTOIlT. 6,17,401 For 8ale by F. Mohtimbr, New Bloomtlold Ferry county, Pa. PROF. HARRIS' RADICAL CURE TOE SPEEMATTOEHffiA. "SEMI N AL PAST. LLE" A ValUllils Diinnvwfv nd New Drptrturs in Med icl Sclent, an tntlrtly New ndpotUivelyerTeff l fivmedyt'ir Ihe tpdr nd permanent Curs trf Seminal mlBBlcmi ft Impotenoj br the only tru way, Tilt Direct Annitnaflin In IK n.in. clpal Seat of th Dlipatn, acting bv Abnorption, and exer- ina; ita siirtruic iitiiurnce uu inrj DBQinil VeBlOlM filaO- ulatorr Ducta, ProBtmta Olaudand Urethra. TheuM o(th ftcmedy U atlendetl with no pain or Inconvenience, It li quickly dlmolved ond ioon absorbed, producing an Immediate aoothinK end reitoratlve effect upon the sex ual and nervtma orneuixationa wrecked from eell-abtue and eicenaoa, itoppine the drain from the ayatem, reator lnftthe mind to health, and eound memory, remoTtn the Dlmneee of Sight, Kervoua Debility, CoofAialoa of Ideas, Aversion to Society, Xto.Bto. and the appear, a ne of prematura old age uaually accompanyina thit trouble, and reitorlrtR perfect Sexual Vigor, where it hat been dormant turyeara. Thia mmla of treatment haa atoed thntratln very severe eaiea, and li now a pronounced iieceia. Z)rugl aro too much prescribed In these troubles, and, a many csn bear witnesi to, with but little If sny fierinanent Kuod. There la no Nonaenae about thia Prepare Ion, Practical observation ensbletua to powitively ruaran tee that ft will giro BotlBfttotlon. During the eight years Hint it list been In general use, we have thousands of teatlmunlala aa to Ita alust and It It now con reed ed by the Medical Profession to he the most rational meant yrt discovered ol reaching ond eurine; thia very prev alent trouble, that ta well known to be the esuse of untold misery to so many, and upon whom quaoke prey with their uttlcra nostrums and big feen.The llcmedrtt put up la anest bftx, enouptiito last a month, and sent in a plain wrapper by mall st aled for 8. Two botes, ftufflrientto ctri'laperrnaiieuteure unless in severe eases) SIS' Three boxes Isitinfr three full months, will atop eiiiiton, and restore vitror, In the worst cases. $ 7. Full DIRECTIONS for u Hi nor will sopomoanv SAOH HO if r oena ror a wescriptivs ramphlet flrlne; Anatomical V Illustrstiona, which will convince tho moat sceptical that thevesnhs MiCnrerf In narfar-t n.ii,i,iiii.s V fitted for the duties of Ills, asms a If never affected. W Bent Sealed for stsmo te anv one. fiLiM n kt.v h ih.A HARRIS REMEDY CO. MF'0. CHEMISTS. Msrkst and 8th. Stt. ST. LOUIS, Ma D R. J. W. RICE, Surgical and Mechanical Dentist, PORT KOYAL, Juniata County, Pa. tVOmce on Market St., one door West of the Timet olllce. Any person wishing to be called on at their residenoe, will please Inform me of the aot. S4 m PHvat Hospital, 'ttai A Bear work, nrloe AO n. Liars ,,, nwaso, i Ioanta by mall. MrsM rias of Nature, Pbjsl oUgj of Marrlasa, Or. satis of Generation, HI. CCySpiity. r'rlvaU.CbroBle snd I tCarosie s Ketuale Disttssaa. Coniututlon free. Lftdiae aud Oeatle- I 1)1 teases of Youth and Manhood: a wealth of C9 idob, send one dollar I ohuloe and valuable In formation, of Interest U both saxes. Nothing efTenalva te Rood tails and rettnemenu Infor- for sanialos of bei I robber ftnoda, and I valuabU laforraailon I hf expreas. t.dla- I ble female Pills, S I Mr boa. rtvatel ImalltiQ never before published. No finally home and nurse lor I Ishnuld s wisnoet IL 0 7A.Mrfs. Ir. A. O. oT.IN, Clark I,atlaa dunog soa- flnement. I Manhood 1 How Lost, How Restored 1 fWTWtmL JUMt PullllAd new edition of Dr. la, radical euro (without nirliclue) of wwiwiwiwbw ni'iuiuutiiriuvi'a "r rjemiuai nrssunw. Involuntary Remiual Ijusaea, Iinootf nt y, Mental aud riiyairal Iucajuwi'.y, Iin)wUiineutM to Marriage, etc.; alHO, Cunsuiuptiou, Epileimy and tit a, induced by aoU liidulireuce tir auxual extravaKuc, ke. C tVPrtow, Id a scaled euveloue, only a1x centa. 'Die cwJbratod authar, in tills admirable eaHay.oluN ly demount rat, frtim a thirty yrara' auocesMiiil prac tice, that the aUnninir uouseiiuencea of aelf-abuae may be rudit'Ally cured without the daubrtroua use of inttr tial medicine or the application of the knife; pointing Out a mode of care at ouoe simple, certaiu, and effm tu al, by means of which every ufferer, uo matter what hie condition may be, may cure himself cheaply, pri vately and radically. t r This Lecture should be In the hand of erery youth aud evury m&u m the country. Heut uudor eeaU iu a irtaiu enveloi, to an)"addrsM( MHtt iaid, oa receipt of six ceuu or two jtti- atainpa. Addreee the Puhliihera, 41 ly THE CULVEUTYELL MEDICAL CO., 41 Aua Bt,, New York ; Poet Oth oe Hox,4&84 119 sii t.h rii Mi en mi, uao. IrilllsrnATIvolMMK.artirefnrConiiimp.Vrl IbmI ti.n, Coii;h, Hronrhitis t all Srrofalum lr-HI Hi hik ro"rl"isi.'litfor(liiiu'sCj VS5 "l"!'n"tlt, I will, o rtrtlpt r7y 1 ;. J Trad MukJ POUTZ'S HOR8K AND CATTLE POWDERS No rioBn will ells ol ( (ii.in, Ilnnn or Luna Fa Ttn, If Fnntr't Powder r nnri In time. r onu si-ow'lcn will cnr sml proynnt llnornnMn rnntrMFowAmn will prorenl Uai' m rowL, pflrlnlly Tiirkovn. F;nti!, Fowdnra will Innrasa ths nnsntl'T ft milk nl cranio tweutj por oouk, snd lusko Hie ljutlor ona ana nwnct. r,f"1 Powders will enrs or prerent slmort mtsst jiiiisaiik thnt Hnnir, und ctll re hrlr In. forTS'S PowhIII, WIU. 1TI BATISITAOTIOir. Bolii orerjrwhnro. DATID rovre, Proprietor, BAXTIMOna, Md, JH E MAN SION HOUSE, New Illoomfleld, Penn'a., GEO. F. N8MINOKU, Proprietor. II AVf Nfl IPASAll this lirmmrfwanH t,trnmhmA If In sciiinriirlnhle manner, Isk a slmre of the pulillo intronRn, and sssuro my friends who stop with me that erery exnrtlou will lie made to rendrir their stay ileaian A careful hostler ai t. always In attendancs. April 9, 187H. tf JHE EAGLE HOTEL, New Illoomfleld, Fenn'u. TTAVINO purchased this property and refitted and refurnished It In a comfortable manner, I ask ashareof the puhllc patronnxe, and assure my friends who stop with me that every exertion willbe made to render their stav pleasant. March 19, 1S7B. tf E STATU NOTICK.-Notlce Is hereby ?It. en, that Tetters of Administration on the Estate of Harah iehr, of Oarroll twp.. Perry coun ty. Pa., deceased, have been Kranted to the un dersigned, resldlnH liiHnrlnK township. . All persons indebted to ald estate are requested to make payment, and those having claims will present them duly authenticated to the under sinned for settlement without delav. O. W. fJUlffl. . . . . Administrator. i-r. O. Address, Elllottsburg. C'At.viN Nrilson. Attorney. November 6, 1878. pd DEATH-DEFEATEU FOIt over 50 years RKM.KKH' f,IVEH PfM.V) have been the standard remedy for Liver Complaints, (Jostiveness, Hick Headache, Pain In Shoulders or Back, Uizzlness, Coated Tongue, Fever and Ague, and all diseases arising from a deranged state of the Liver or Htoinach. Thomas Adams, of lllg Sandy, Ky , says: "Sellers' Pills have saved hundred of dollars In doctors' bills In this country." Jt. E. 8EELE113 & CO., Prop'rs, Pittsburgh, Pa. THE GREAT BLOOD TONIC, For the cure of all diseases arising from Impure lllood, and for Invigorating and strengthening the vital organs. Are you weak, nervous, debili tated, pale and emaciated T Have you lost your appetite? Have you nausea, pain In the back, &e.T If so, Dr. Mdsev's lllood ftearclierwlll drive out the disease and bring back the BIXJOM OK HEAlril. Pimples, Hulls. Erysipelas. Tetter. Halt Klieum, eto., are but surface Indications of lllood Diseases; and Dr. Lldsey's lllood Searcher, by pui trying the system, softens the skin and beautifies the complexion. Sold by all druggists. SI per bottle. K. E. SELLERS & CO.. Proprie tors, Pittsburgh, Pa. (i 48 W i no iv. A full assortment of BAB IROV, HOUND IRON, OVAL IRON. SCROLL IRON STEEL AND IRON TIRE, Norway Iron, Nail Rods, PLAIN AND GALVANIZED HOOF IRON, OK ALL WIDTHS. ic,, ilc., Ac, on hand and for sale at the LOWEST MARKET PRICE ty F. MORTIMER, New Bloom field. BOOTS Do you want BOOTS of any klndt If to, call aud see the LAHGE STOCK SOW OFFERED BT T. MOHTIMEH. N OTICE NOTICE Is herebv eiven that annlication will be made to the Legislature of Pennsylvania, at Its next session, for the repeal of an act, passed the 8th day of April, 1869, extending to Perry county the provisions of an act "relating to the fees of the sheriff of Cumberland and Snyder counties," approved 10th of April. )7. SOLOMON BOWER. J. W. OANTT. GEO. CA M PItELL, December 17, 1878. Commissioners. BOOKSMILLIOFI A lsr(s. new and complete OvJda to Wedlcok, eoiiUinuiK, witn ntaa othart, itis tullowiitfr ehsetertt A enmpsteiit 'Womanhood, fl!etion ot : w tie, a.viaeneei 01 virRtnitj. Tsm- prauiut. com Pali bis and incompati ble. Sterility in vumn, cause sn4 to bridegroom, Advice lo kiMbands, A'Wrrs to vWes, Prostitution, t rsasts, Celsbsey aud jwBinmuiiT rouipsrvo, nKuarsi aunt, joncrpi ton, von Anemrnl. IjOVS inrt C'mrtthip, ItnpvflimsDU to Msrrisse, Inmals snd t-mti, Science ot KentvduclivD, Sinsls life eontidred, lw of Mittug. lw or Divorcs, 11 right of msrrisd women, ete including Diseases peculiar so Women, their ceases and treatment. A bouk fur private and coiifiderateresdinit- ol DUO pafres, vita full 1'lata tak frariogi. by mail, sesied for IVO ettu. Vjhm Private Medical Advlaar,'9 Cfl ifyphilis. Oooorrncee. uioot, otnuture.VartooMla. c, slsoon apenuattorhasa, Sexual Iobility,sndIm potency, from ftsll-sbuse and select, csucuin aaiiaal .mistioni, Nt-rvousness. Avrraion to Soclrt.tJenfiuionoi Ideas, Phvalcal decs-, Ilmnes of tif hi, Utrotiv Mrmory, Loss of Sesual Powvr etc. mskiuir marrisfte improper or unhappy. Hi Tin trestmciiL snd a rrtst Duur vslitaiile receipts for ths curs of aU prirate itinsmi auua sue, over 60 plsts, oO cents. Madioal Advloa." lector en Manhood uu Wo hi n hood, 10 ecrmtt or all three ta one nicety bound eoluue, ftl. They eotitsia 00 psset snd orer lOU lUuatrattona. embrseinir svsry. thltut on ths cenerailve sytten that Is worth kaowTiis. snd much that ii not puMuht. in sny other work. T us com biited Tolums is uoit!vly the best PopeTsr Mcdtcsl Book riubiithed, eudtitoMdUiatuard sfter st litis It csn as tieir money irlundwi. Ths Author li an cxperteaoed Fhyiielsn of many years prartice. (as li well known.) ami ths advics (riven, and KuLm for trratment Uid dows. will be found of crest naiue to those utteruifr. from impurities of the lyitera, early errors, lost vieor, or any ot the nutneev out troublee eomlnf under Vi head of PriTSts or . vunwig uiwiiii. "peat in insie volumes, ot eomviete n one, lor Price m wtamps, S-lvsr or Currsary. ( C'ouauU suob wunnusuttau and letters are BminrMlv and traafclv aatweredwithoat ebarec.) Addreesi Dr. Butts' Dispetr- ary, It M. tk Si-, m. Louis, Ms. (2stabUsbadlti7.) ror sale by Newt Dealers, AQENTS wmtac CT.K. BUTTS invites all persons auflrrlnjr ttmn V Rl'ITUHK to senj him thsir nantitf a4 sdums, 1 and hereby assures them thst they will loam W sopastiiina sn ihair I) Antmr4 TW BjjTBald lie "Matilda, you are ray dearest duck." Bald she "Augusts, you are (rylng to stuff me." Blie was to sage for him. But she gravy-tated into his arms all the same. say, friend, your horse Is a little contrary, Is he not y ";So,slr." "What makes him stop tben V" "Oh, he's afraid somebody will say 'Whoa,' and he ghan', hear it." S3" A bachelor paragrapher asks ! "What shall we do with our girls?" Marry one and shake the reflt of them, young man; you'll find It cheaper in the long run. It is easy enough, It is said, to pick up a horse if you know how. The best way is to let the lines get under his tail, and then lift; and it will surprise you to see how easily you can raise the horse over the drr hoar'. nd Into your lap. .. . "No, darling," he said, as In? wife asked for a new dress, "I can't afford it. I feel it my duty to help the suffering poor of the city," and then he went around the corner, and the bar-keeper handed out the bottle and a gUss and let him help himself. female hanged herself recently because she thought the devil was in her. If every woman Is going to do the same thing, cruelly remarked the Brook lyn "Eagle," then well, woman are going to be dreadfully scarce. Bhe was a lady passenger in one of the transfer coaches which run from the Shoo Fly depot, and after becoming tired of keeping still she turned to the driver and asked : "How much further does this horrid hill run V" Jehu repli ed "Clear lo the bottom, madam." ftAlbany Journal : "Mother, what is an angel ' "An angel 't Well, an angel is a child that flies." "But, mother, why does papa always call my governess an angel?" "Well," explained the mother, after a moment's pause, "she is going to fly immediately." O" The subject of Impression at first sight was being talked over at the tea table, when the lady whose duty it was to preside said, "she always formed an idea of a person at first sight, and found it to be generally correct." "Mamma," said her young son, in a shrill voice, that attracted the attention of all pres ent. "Well, my dear, what is it ?" re plied the mother." "I want to know what was your opinion when you first saw me?" "Maxims is what ails me," he said to the police judge. "Maxims busted me wide open." The court said it would like an explanation before fixing . the fine. "Well, your honor," said the, prisoner, "I drank rye whisky' and t didn't get drunk. I remembered that maxim. "Try try again." I tried rye again" "Here that's enough of thatl" thundered the Court ; "this ain't no circus ring. Ten dollars and coats." A Dogoned Queer idea. A New York paper tells about a board ing house that is kept on an economical principle where they have no napkins ; bnt instead of napkins there was a large bushy Newfoundland dog, who went around the table at regular intervals, and as the boarders were Inclined to nee a napkin, they clutched the dog. The touch went by seniority, the oldest had the first clutch, and the more muscular boarders grabbed the dog and swiped him. Twas a very economical idea, for the dog performed his duty every day through the week, and on Sunday the dog was washed and the boarders had sou p. Applying the Sermon. The Rev. Mr. , of the Unitarian Church in a neighboring State preached a sermon a few years since on the im portance of saying "No," and in the course of it dwelt impressively on the moral courage required to ufce that mon osyllable at the right time. After the sermon a collection was taken for a very deserving charity. When the congregation was dismissed, a certain newspaper man waylaid the pastor in the vestibule, and seizing him by the hand thanked him effusively lor the sermon one of the most effective he had heard. The pastor modestly replied : "I'm glad you think so, but cannot see why you should." "Why," replied he of the newspaper, "when I went into the church I was fully determined to give five dollars to that charity, but your sermon Impressed me so deeply that I found courage to resist the temptation, and let the plate p laser go by with an emphatic "So,"
Significant historical Pennsylvania newspapers