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VOL. XII.
NEW BLOOMFIELD, PA., TXJE 8DAY, AUGU8T27, 1878.
NO. 35.
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THE' TIMES.
la Independent Family Newspaper,
; 18 PUBLISHED BVBRY TUBSDAY BT
F. MORTIMER & CO.
8UBBCBIF11UK P It ICE.
(WITHIN TDB COUNTY.
One Year, Jl 2
Six Months 75
I (OUT 0 TUB COUNTY. .; ..
Ons Yar, (Postage Included) 11 fO
Bix Months, (Fostage Included) 83
Invariably In Advance I
V Advertising rates furnished upon appli
cation, x .
gelec't Poeti'y.
THE BOSS FOOL.
The farmer roameth o'er bis fields,
And gathereth In bis grain j
But the farmer's son, all doubled up
Doth bowl and loud complain ;
The while, beneath his jacket, bo
Doth bear a bitter pain.
The farmer pauses in bis work,
And on bis rake doth lean
"Oh, I have roamed In man; lands,
And many fools have seen ;
Bat the boss of all the fools Is be
Who eateth apples green !"
GORMLEY'S ADVENTURE.
A Story With a Moral.
OLD HIRAM GORMLEY was an
individual whom fortune had not
forgotten in her distribution of the good
things of this world. He had a line for
tune, a magnificent dwelling, and a
plump, good-cenipered wife. Moreover,
he had a great reputation for sanctity
and uprightness, and was an elder of
the church to which he belonged. A
very good man and a thorough christian
old Hiram considered himself, for he
had family prayers every morning,
went to church every Sunday, and ; al
lowed the cook to give all the uneatable
scraps of bread which remained in the
larder to any beggar who applied for
them. . A judicious parent he considered
himself to be, and a just one, for when
his only daughter had married against
his will he had cast her off forever, and
refused to see her when she stood weak
and trembling at his door to tell him
that her husband lay upon the verge of
death and that starvation stared them in
the face.
" As she has sowed so she must reap,"
he muttered, as he saw her turn away,
hiding her grieved face in her shabby
bonnet. "She might have had old
Grimes and lived in clover and must
abide by it."
And, so saying, he went back to his
account books and banished his daugh
ter from his mind as soon as might
be.
Old Hiram Gromley was, I have said,
very wealthy, but yet clung to trade
with the utmost pertinacity. Money
getting was his life, and he was never
so happy as when making a bargain.
Among other things he had speculated
in flour, and had made more, perhaps,
in that line of business than in any
other. How old Hiram and his broth
ers in the trade chuckled as the poor
man's loaf decreased and the store of
their own coffers t augmented, ia best
known to themselves.
It was at such a season that Hiram
Gormley sat before his parlor fire, bask
ing in its blaze and sinking gently into
an after-dinner nap. His portly form
filled the huge velvet chair, and his own
portrait looked from its gilded frame
upon its drowsy original with a blended
dignity entirely of the artist's own in
vention. Mrs. Gormley had gone out
to dine, and the carriage was to be sent
at an appointed hour, so that the old
man and his portrait were alone togeth
er in the comfortable room. 1
They were alone, at least for many
minutes.' But as the silver-toned time
piece rang out the hour of seven, the
outer door was opened, and a small
man, clad in a faded green velveteen
coat, entered the room with the soft
tread of a stealthy cat. He was a queer
t. looking Individual, so withered, and
wrinkled that he might have resembled
eotue old goblin, and his white hair
stood out, strangely enough, upon either
side of his brown forehead. Upon his
meager lower limbs he wore great, mud
stained boots, a world too wide for him,
and in his hand he carried a cap of the
same color and material as his coat. He
looked first at old Hiram and then at his
portrait, then back again to the original
and finally stepped forward and touched
him on the shoulder.
Hiram Gormley awoke with a start,
and springing to his feet, regarded him
with astonishment.
" Who are you, and what do you want
here ?" he asked,ln a manner sufficient
ly imperative.
" Who I am is a matter of no impor
tance," replied the stranger ; " but I am
here on business. I believe you are buy
ing up flour?"
" I am," replied old Hiram, becoming
interested, and gracious in a moment.
" Take a seat, slr,and let me understand
your business."
He pointed to a chair, and the visitor
seated himself immediately, crossing his
muddy boots and folding his elfin arms
upon his bosom, as he bent down his
head and peered from under his droop
iug black brows straight into Hiram
Gormley's face.
" We have flour to sell," he said.
" We V" said Hiram, Interrogatively.
" I and my partner, or, more politely
speaking, my partner and I," responded
the little man of the firm.
' " I'd rather not mention names until
I'm sure that we shall come to terms,"
continued the little man. " But let me
tell you.Mr. Gormley ,that such a chance
has never been offered to one man be
fore. If you accept it bread will run up
to such a price this year that a loaf of
the better sort will be worth its weight
in gold, and rich men will give great
sums for what they now esteem as noth
ing. How many barrels do you think
we have on hand V"
"How manyV" asked old Hiram,
trembling with eagerness.
The little man bent forward and
whispered something in hia ear which
made him start to his feet once
more.
"So many I" he cried. ',Why, the
very speculators themselves will be at
my feet. I shall be the richest man in
the world. I'll buy it all-all, all!
When can I see It 1 when can I sign
the contract Be quick tell me where
all the store is hidden "
: " In our office," said the little man.
" What office would contain such
quantities ?" asked Hiram.
"Hush!" whispered the little inan;
" there is an underground passage and a
cellar or vault capable of containing ten
times what it now holds. As for the
time, you may come with me to-night,lf
you like ; all hours are the same to my
partner and me."
The words were scarcely out of his
mouth ere Hiram Gormley had hurried
on his overcoat, dashed his broad-brimmed
hat over his eyes and seized his
gold-headed cane with a nervous grasp
of the right hand. ," Lead the way," he
said; "lead the way; "I'd follow if
you were going to the moon."
The stranger only grinned and passed
out of the door before him.
At the gate stood a small vehicle,black
as ink, and capable of containing only
two persons. A small, elf-like pony was
fastened to its shafts, and a little black
boy held the reins. Hiram glanced
doubtfully at the shabby turnout, but,
in compliance to a nod from his fellow
traveler, stepped in 'and took his seat
beside him. If the .shabby pony was
email apd unpromising , to look at,' he
was nevertheless as fleet of foot as any
race horse, and the dingy vehicle spun
along at a rate which made old Hiram
cling to the sides with both hands and
shut his eyes that he might not grow
giddy, until, passing from the village, it
turned down the broad country road,and
paused at the margin of a little piece of
woodland. , '' ,.
"Your office seems to be in a strange
locality," muttered old Hiram auspi
ciously. " Not at all," replied the little man in
green ; " only we are going by the un
derground way, so , as not to attract atj.
tention. ',
"Ah!" ea'id'old' Hiram; "well, this
does seem to bean underground passage,
sure enough I," for they . were turning
now into a sort of cave, and only , one
faint ray of light in the far distance
saved them from being wrapped In utter
darkness. "I shall be glad when I am
safe home again," he added to himself.
" How do I know where this man is
taking me V"
But even as lie spoke the distant light
grew larger, and the carriage stopped at
an iron-bound door with a grating at
the top, through which fell a light, like
that of a flame from the chimney of a
pottery on a dark night.
" This is our ofllce," said the little
man in green ; and old Hiram followed
him as he leaped from the crazy vehicle,
which suddenly disappeared in a most
mysterious manner.
A rap at the door summoned a dark
vlsaged man, who admitted them with
out parley, and old Hiram Gormley
stood in a veritable counting-house, tho
most spacious which had ever met his
eyes.
He glanced down the rows of diligent
clerks, all dressed in black, and all en
gaged in making entries in immense
iron-bound volumes; at the huge fire,
which ho could see reflected on the roof
through a wide grating in the distance,
and which rendered anything in the
way of lamps and candles unnecessary ;
and then turned toward a tall, dark
man, who strode toward him from the
centre of the glowing light. He was
clad in black, and his hair was bound
together in an eld-fushtoned ciffe. There
was a sort of a supple, snake-like ease in
his movements, and his feet were cov
ered with shoes that suggested either the
gout or bunions.
" Mr. Gormley," eald the little man in
green, " Mr. Gormley, partner. He has
come to inspect our stock of flour ; he'd
like to buy it in."
" He would like to buy it in would
he V " said the new comer. "You are
very welcome, Mr. Gormley. I have no
doubt we shall come to terms. Gentle
men , this is Mr. Hiram Gormley with
whose name you are so well acquainted,
and whom you have expected bo
long."
As he spoke the long rows of black
clad clerks arose with one accord, and,
bowing, turned upon him their hollow,
blood-shot eyes.fllled with a light which
must have been reflected from the fire
beyond, it was so red and horrible.
Old Hiram Gormley shuddered in
voluntarily, as, addressing himself to tils
two companions, he said :
" Can I see this flour of which you
have been speaking ?"
" Certainly, sir," replied the taller of
the three, as he flung open a narrow
door to his right and beckoned Hiram
to approach. " Light up, boys, light
up!"
And at the words a myriad of torches
flared down a Beemlng-lntermlnable
vista ; and Hiram, looked upon myriads
and myriads of barrels, stretching away
until they faded Into mere specks in the
distance.
" Full of flour, from the very first
brand down to the poorest ; not another
barrel left in the market. You can
have the upper hand of the whole of
them, Hiram Gormley ; when you can
starve ten millions if you like to do so.
Do you close the bargain, or shall we
send for some one else V"
"Hush! I agree. Tell me your
terms!'! grasped old Hiram Gormley,
nervously. ,
, " There are very easy," eald the tall
man in black. " Sit down, if you please.
Here is tho pen and paper, and the doc
ument." Hiram seized the paper and conned it
rapidly, growing white and cold as ho
read on. At last he flung it from him
and soreamed :
" My soul ! Promise to give you my
soul ! In the name of the fiend, who're
you !"
" Your humble servant," said the
creature clad in black ; and old Hiram
saw a cloven foot peeping from the
queer boot and distinguished the per
fume of brimstone.
"Let me go!" he said. "Let me
gor"
' Softly !" said the creature at his el
bow. "Softly! why do you care so
much for what you have already mort
gaged! You-are half mine already;, do
you know that V"
"It is false! said old Hiram, "I
cheat no man. I belong to the church,
and I subscribed $50 to the missionaries
a year ago.,7
,, The durk man grinned contemptuous
ly. " Bring me Mr. Gormley 'b box,"
he said.
And he who had conveyed old Hiram
to the spot where he now stood set upon
the table a box like that in which law
yers keep the papers of their clients,
labeled, " Hiram Gormley, Esq." From
the depths of this box he took a pile of
parchment and read from thence :
" A mortgage on the soul of Hiram
Gormley, given on the day he turned
his daughter from the door. Another,
when he seized old widow Fotter's fur
niture for rent. Another, when he took
advantage of a flaw In the papers to
evade payment of a Just debt of his
own. Myriads when he first began bus
iness, told fifty lies a day, and gave false
weight and measure, and a tremendous
mortgage for passing through the world
without one loving, tender, sympathiz
ing feeling for mankind.
" Your soul bah I What is it worth
now V"
" I'll take it all back. I'll have my
daughter and her husband home. I'll
pny"
" Too late !" said the dark creature.
Too late, Gormley ; too late !"
But the old man, stretching out his
hands, screamed aloud in terror, and fell
backwards in unconsciousness.
When Mrs. Gormley returned from the
dinner party she found her husband
stretched out upon the hearth-rug, with
a blue lump upon his forehead as large
as a hen's egg.
When he related his adventure she
considered it a dream, and laid the blame
upon the old port in the decanter on the
sideboard; but dream or reality, it had a
strange influence upon old Hiram, for in
a week he was reconciled to his daugh
ter, had ignored the flaw and made the
settlement, performed various unwonted
acts of charity, and was, in fact, an ut
terly changed and altered man, while,
singular to say, no earthly power has
yet been able to induce Hiram Gorm
ley to Invest in breadstuff's.
A STORY OF A TOOTH.
SOME months since sayB tho Oak
land, Cal., Times one of the loveliest
and inost accomplished daughters of a
well-known resident was thrown froni
her horse and sustained, among other
annoying injuries, a fracture of one of
her front teeth.' The delicate pearl
whioh flashed through "lips within
whose rosy labyrinth when Bhe smiled
the soul was lost" was hopelessly crush
ed, and marred the beauty of the lady
considerably. The only remedy for its
injury was to have the root of the bro
ken tooth extracted and a false tooth
made to fill the horrid breach ' in her
mouth.
In her distress she sought the advice
of Dr. Geo. Luce. She had read some
where or been told by somebody that
dentistry had advanced to such a science
that it was possible to transplant a tooth
from the mouth of another person which
would take root and bloom as it had in
its original gum.
Could he secure for her a match to
the broken tooth ? If he could he might
name his price. Beauty in distress ap
peals to Dr. Luce never in vain, bo he
informed the grief-stricken maiden that
such operations had been successfully
performed, but in the present case the
difficulty would be to discover a tooth
of such purity, delicacy and beauty as
to be worthy to munch caramels and
bonbons in company with those which
now mourned the loss of their crushed
companion. However, he. would see
what he could do.
A month or two passed. At last the
tooth was found. A . young Spaniard,
whose well brushed and somewhat faded
habiliments Indicated a struggle with
fate, entered the ofllce to receive some
slight dental; attention. Ilia manners
were those of a gentleman and his con
versation denoted Intelligence and re
finement. When he opened his mouth, the Doc
tor could hardly conceal his emotion.
There was the tooth he had been look
ing for flashing in its. dazzling white
ness, , the perfection of form and the
acme of purity. , It was indeed a gem.
The subject was approached cautiously,
but when the young gentleman , spoke
of fils poverty, the Doctor offered him
one hundred dollars for the tooth. Tho
money tempted the Impecunious for
eigner, who immediately offered all his
stock In trade on the Bame terms.
An appointment waa made for the
next day and a note dispatched to the
lady informing her that at last the tooth
was found. At the given hour the gen
tleman entered the front office and the
lady closely veiled shortly after entered
the rear office, for it was a part of the
bargain the gentleman was not to see
the lady.
The tooth was extracted, the money
paid the Btrahger departed. Then the
tooth was carefully cleansed and submit
ted to a delicate treatment to preserve
its. vitality, while the doctor was pre
paring the mouth of the lady for Its re
ception. It waa soon inserted and in the course
of three or four hours had immovably
taken root in its new home. In a few
days the operation was pronounced a
complete success, and Miss became
the happiest of girls.
Now for the sequel. With a woman's
curiosity she was continually specula
ting as to whom the tooth belonged, and
the gentleman in turn was cudgelling
his brains for some means to ascertain
the whereabouts of his tooth which had
turned the tide of his affairs bo luckily.
For with the money it had brought
him, he had made a fortunate purchase
of stock, and step by step he had gone
on with his rapidly accumulating capi
tal until he had a snug little bank ac
count and patronized a fashionable
tailor. Chance threw him into a select
little party one evening where Miss
happened to be present and he com
menced recounting his adventure.
When he smiled and pointed to the va
cant place in his mouth where the tooth
had once had its home, Miss gave a
little shriek and her secret was discover
ed. It is rumored that out of this dental
operation a veritable love match will
shortly result; and in fashionable Oak
land circles this romance of a tooth is
just now the all-sorbing topic.
Religion and Honesty.
Is it not time to preach anew the ser
mon of honesty ? First, to do justly, as
if honesty was the ' foundation stone,
then to love mercy, and then to walk
humbly.
There is too much one-sided religion.
We know examples of zeal and Untiring
energy, in Christian work, in men who
so neglected their own affairs that they
are always under a load of debt, and
give honest unbelievers . a very poor
opinion of a Christian man's business
habits. !,
Such things ought not to so be. We
know people who are called lights and
shining lights, who not only profess and
call themselves Christiana.but do a great
deal of real work, who are utterly un
mindful Of pecuniary obligations, who
" fail" when they can pay no longer,
and yet learn nothing of the value of
money, and are just as devout as if they
were not dishonest.
They are "unfortunate," true, but
fortune implies chance, and there Is no
chance In living within one's income
and paying one's debts. Think of a
published " Memoir" of a so-called
Christian who, in our opinion, cheated
trades-people and defrauded creditors,
while he lived better than they, and
bated no jot of his expenses,or charities.
No wonder that many honest men are
not believers. .They attend to their own
affairs and are not always falling.
We want a great many things in these
days, more faith, more love, more self
denial, more Chlrstian zeal; but for
symmetry of character we want more
downright honesty in men and women.
To do justly, love mercy, and walk
humbly with our God, God help us.
1 Ungallant.
A newly married man, who evidently
needs discipline, thus discourses " A
woman is a handy thing to have about
the house. . She does not cost any more
to keep than , you'll give her, and she'll
take a great interest in you. If you go
out at night, she'll be awake when you
get home, and then shu'll tell you all
about yourself, and more too., Of course
she will know where you bare beennd
what kept you out so late, and will tell
you: yet right after she get through
telling you that, she will ask you where
you have been and what kept - you
so late. And after you tell her,, and
she won't believe you, you mustn't
mind that ; and if, after going to bed, she
eays she hasn't shut her eyes all night,
and then keeps up the matinee two hours
longer and won't go to sleep when she
has a chance, you mustn't mind that,
either ; it's her nature.