The New Bloomfield, Pa. times. (New Bloomfield, Pa.) 1877-188?, February 20, 1877, Page 7, Image 7

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    THE -TIMES, NEW ISLOOMFIELD, VA., ; FEMtUAKY 20, 18774 1
7.
REDUCTION IN PRICE 1
Cheapost and Best !
thk iiAimisnuua
Daily and Weekly Patriot
FOR 1877.
To all ww ubPcrUw,vw ami to nil present utibufrll-Prt
tnwliiK tUt'tr nulmorlptlonn
THE DAILY PATRIOT
Will be sent at the fnllnwlnir rates :
1 copy, 1 year, postaKC prtjpatu....
1 copies, flu club), " JJ
(-.DO
.IS w
S7.IW
1(1
" MMHI
I copy during the session of the Lrifl-lHUire u.iki
1 copy, I year, anil I copy, I m(, "I ellher IIab-
paid ou both
PKIt H
nvb'H MIIMTII .Vlir IMHI'K IH UAKAlIi nIHMr
V
THE WEEKLY PATRIOT
Will be uMit At h frtllowinir rut t '
t copy, 1 year, tHwtiiKiJirti-aUl,..,, .f20
4 curio, ' "0
lo " " " lu.no
u
ami 1 pnpy toHTttpr-tipnf ohili 15.00
DHuniitw, 1 ytar inwttwre pn-imld,
aiiu 1 copy to frrltor.iif club 92.1)0
1 copy, oiip yar, anl on copy, one year, of
vlthcr HAnpnit Monthly or Hahi'kh'k 11a-
7. ah, iwwtrVKe pr-ppnid on both ,. f4. SO
The auoHnripMitii price of Harper' Monthly ami
Harper' ltaxar tn i.m each, Hnia hmuHiik a uHlmcr,
lMra copy of tlic Vk.ki,y Tatkiot for fio ccntn tn ntl
tmonto what ho would havo to pay for cither of IUr
Mir'a pnllicatloiin.
All onlcra tmittt he accom pa tiled by the cam, either
toy check or poMt-ottW order. . .
Now lathe time to HiilwriUe. Get all the iiewaanA
the bct rcadlnir mult. rut ccat tliiiu anywhere elm
by arndltiK your miltH.triptloua to the 1)aily and
Wrkkly 1'ATnior. AdilrenK.
PA TRIOT PURLTfiMNO CO..
! lit UAUlilNMUtU, 1'A.
IIPPINCOTT'S MAGAZINE.
AN ILLUSTRATED MONTHLY OK
Popular Literature atul Science.
ANNOUNCEMENT FOR 1877
The immtier for January beuins the nineteenth vol.
Inneof tilts Mavaxlne, ami while Ite past record will. It
1. hoped, be ilc eniert a suineleut Kuaruntee of future
excellence, no ctlorts will be .pored to diversify II.
attraction. Hud to provide an increased supply of
Popular Reading in the Jlett and Moat Emphatic
&ene
The (rreat ohiect and constant Him of tho conductors
will be to furnihh the public with Letcniture Entertain
inent of a Hetlued and Varied Character, a. well a. to
present In a Kl'aphie and etriklUK manner the most ra
rent lufonnation anil Roundest view, on subjects of
ttenernl Iutpreet, ill a word, tn render Liilucntt's
Mwazlue atrikluKly distinctive in
7Tko.se Mature that art Mont Attractive In Mag
azine Literature.
In addition to the General Attractions of T.lppln
eott's Mavaziue the Publishers would Invite attrullnu
to a uew Herial story,
4 The Marquis of Lossic,"
ly(Jeorre McDonald author of "Malcoln,'
Forbes " " Hobort Falcon nr." etc.
Alice
TERMS. Yearly HubHcrtptlon, 4 ; Wntrle number,
35 ccntH.
NOTU'K. The November and Pcccniler Niiniborn,
cnntaluhii the earlier clmplccM of "The Marquis of
1OflHie," will le nrcHuuted to.all new ounuuJ uiibmirilKTM
lor 1S77.
HPKOIMEN NTTMIIKR mailed iHwtatre iaid. to any
addreafo, ou recelit of 20 cent.
J. B. LIPPISCOTT & CO., riihlishcr,
715 and 717 Market St., l-Mladelphta.
B
ALL SCALES.
LB. MARYANEUTir, . W. DEltR and
. JAMES H. GM1KK known as
' The Ball Scale Company,"
have now on hand a laree snnplyof liuoy's Patent
COUNTER 80ALE, the Himnlost, Cheap
est and bestConnter Hcaloln the market.
r For Scales, or Agencies In Pennsylvania,
Ohio, New Jersey, Delaware and Maryland, ad
drtss "The Ball Scale Company," Votlsvllle,
Hehnylklllcoiinty. Pa.
Kor Scales or Aneneles In this County, ap
ply to the undersigned, where they can be seen
and examined auy time.
J LEI BY & BHO.,
Newport, Perry co Pa.
FRANK MORTIMER,
9tf NewBlooinBeld,Perryco.,Pa.
Toil FLORIDA,
FOR THROUGH TICKETS to KKRNANWNA,
Jacksonville, St. Augustine, Sanford, Enter
prise, and Intermediate landings on St. John's
Kiver and interior points in FLORIDA, by steam
boat to SAVANNAH, and thence by railroad or
steamboat, apply to WM. L. JAMES, (iencral
Agent, Philadelphia and Aouthern Mall ft.ti.(X.,
Ilti South Delaware Avenue, Philadelphia. i'Jcim
A CARD. To all who are suffering from the
errors and Indiscretions of youth, nervous
weakness, early decay, loss of manhood, &c, I
will send a recipe that will cure you, FREE OK
CHARGE. This great remedy was discovered by
a missionary In South America. Send a self-addressed
envelope to the Rev. Josurii T. Inman,
Station D, BiNe route, iVcw Tor City. 16b ly
GLENN'S
SULPHUR SOAP,
A Btkrlino Remedy Fon Diseases akd
iNJinUES OF TUB SKI5 j A IlEALTtlFrJI,
Beautifier of tii Complexios; A Ue
liable Means op Pbevkntiko and Kh
liky1mq blikumatism and godt, and as
Ureqcaled Dibixfkctant, Dehduiiizilr
AND CoiINTEn-lRHITANT.
Glenn' Sulphur Soap,besa eradi
cating local discuses of tliu skin, banishes
ilctecu of the complexion and imparts to it
gratifying clenrncsj and smootlinets.
Sulphur Jiaths are celebrated for cu
rinc eruptions and other diseases of lliehkiii,
as well as UhcuraatUm and Gout. Glen n't
Sulphur Soap produces tho same effects
at a most trilling expense. This admiruli'e
enccific also speedily liejdn tore, bruhet.
tealdt, liuriit, iprain and cuts. It removes
dandruff and prevents the hair from fulling
out and turning gray.
Clothlnjr and linen used in the sick room
is disinfected, and diseases communirablc by
contact with tlie person, pieveutca by it.
Tho Medical Fraternity sanction its use
Trices, 25 akd 50 Cexts rcn Cake, Per
lloxSCAKKaOOcttmi fV.ao.
N. B. Buy tlx lanr. ndcrc and thereby econamiw. Bvld
!J all ItrugsinU. . i i
'MIlU's Hair and Whisker lyc," Black
or itrown, ouc.
CB.CEinEMONJro.'r.HijthkSJ. ':
W E
" CENTENNIAL" for Mindly Work.
"GENERAL FAVORITE" for Mannfacturhw
SUrEHIOR TO ALL IN
Simplicity, Efficiency, Durability, Strength and Lightness.
SEND VOli CIRCULARS AND PRICKS.
WEED SEWING MACHINE
PHILADELPHIA, PA.
11 7 lt
Newport Advertisements.
JONES' BROS, & CO.,
(Formerly John Jones & Hon,)
Grain & Produce
MERCHANTS,
Brlok Warehouse, Front St., above Market,
Newport, Perry County, Pa.
WK would respeotfully Invite the patronage of
tho farmers, and tho public generally, as
the I1IO H EST PRICKS the market will afford,
will be paid for all klnus oi
GRAIN.
F1.0UR,
PRODUCE. "
SEEDS AND
RAILROAD TIES
We have constantly on hand,
FISH,
SALT, ,
TLASTER,
CEMENT,
COAL.
IRON,
STEEL.
JIORSE SHOES, &c, &c.
FOR SALE AT THE LOWEST RATES.
. Orders promptly filled,
Newport, July28, 1875 tf
jJEWPORT DRUG STORE.
IlavlnK ou baud a complete a.mirtment of thefol-
lowlnK articles, the subscriber ask. a .bare of your
patronaa-e.
Drugs and McfUcincn,
CHEMICALS OF ALL KINDS.
Als a full ntoi'k of
Concentrated Homedies,
ESSENTIAL OILS,
Hruslios, rerfnmery
1IAIK OIL,
and
FANCY ARTICLES.
Also always on Hand,
PURE WINES & LIQUOR
FOR
MEDICINAL and SACRAMENTAL
PURPOSES
PHYSICIANS ORDERS
Carrf&lly and Promptly Filial
B. M . EB Y ,
Newport, Penn'a.
J B. HARTZELL, 7 T
Wholesale Tobacco Dealer,
NEWPORT, IA.
Sole Agent for Lorilard's Superior Tobaocos.
Country Merchants supplied with Goods
at Philadelphia prices.
ar Your orders are solicited. 9 U
it. s. cook & co.,
Agree to sell all k!rl of
LUMBER AND SHINGLES,
for LESS MONEY than any other dealers in this
county. We will also take good Timber on the
stump or delivered at our Milt In exchange for
Lumber, 4c, We use Clearheld l'lue and Hem
lock only. -
W. B. & COOK & CO.,
NewportjlPfiTj Co., l'a.
October 10, 1178. '
IMPORTANT NOTICB. The subscriber
late of the tlrro of Rhoades Smith, would
respectfully inform the citizens of RLA1N
and viaiultv, that he has opened a WAOON
MAKER-SHOP, and Is prepared to make new
wagons and repair old ones at short notloe, and
at from TEN to TWKNTV per cent, cheaper than
the old rirm.
, W-Uiveineacall. Batlsfactlon guaranteed, i
JACOB SMITH.
, Blaln, August I, JBtiT. it i- i ; ., , -u -
TL X)
MACHINE COMPANY,
AiiH'iiciui mid roreimi Pnlcnis.
() ILMOKK & CO., HuocHssnrs to CHIPMAN,
T IIOSMEIt & CO., Solicitors. Patents pro.
omed III nil countries. NO KKKH IN ADVANCF.
No charge unless the patent l granted. No fees
for milking prellmlmiry examliinihiiis. No nilill
tlnuiil fees for obtaining and conducting a re
hearing, lly a recent deelihin of the (.'inuniis.
sinner, ALL rejected applications mav be revived.
Special attention given to Inlni Terence. Cases lie
fine the Patent office, Exieuslutis before Cnih
gress, Infringement Suits In dlflurcnt Slates mid
all litigation appertaining to Inventions or Put
cuts. Send Stamp to (iilniure Hi Co., for pamph
let of stxtv pages.
LAND CASKS, LAND WARRANTS & SCRIP.
Contested Land Cases prosecuted lieforn the II,
S. (leucral Land Office and Department of the
Interior. Private Land Claims, MINIMI and
PRE EMPTION Claims, and HOMESTEAD cases
attended to. Land Scrip In 4n, Ho. any I'Jt acre
pieces for sale. This Scrip Is assignable, and can
lie located In the inline of t lie purchaser uiion any
(lovernment land subject to private entry, at.
81.2") per acre. Ills of eipial valnn with bounty
Land Warrants. Send Htiinip to Ollinoro & Co.,
for pamphlet of Instruction.
ARREARS OK FAY AND BOUNTY.
OFFICERS, SOLDIERS and SAILORS of the
late war, or their heirs, are In many casesentltled
to money from the Ooverumeut nf which they
have no knowledge. Write full history of service,
and state amount nf pay and bounty received.
Enclose stamp to HI 1,M( ill li & CO., and a lull re
ply, after examination, will lie given you free,
f K N H I I) N B.
All OFFICERS. SOLDIERS, and SAILORS,
wounded, ruptured, or injured In the lute war,
however slight, can obtain a pensouby iKlUiessiug
GILMORKttCO.
Case prosecuted by (1ILMORK& CO, before
the Supreme Court of the United States, the Court
of Claims and the Southern Claims Commission.
Each department of our business is conducted
In aseparate bureau, under charge of the same
experienced parties, emliloved by I he old firm.
Prompt attention to all business entrusted to
i I I.Moli Hid CO., Is thus seemed. Wo desire to
win success by deserving It.
Address: U1LMDKE&CO..
toil V. Street,
Washington, D. C.
M
AN HOOD: HOW LOST
HOW RESTORED
Just published, a new edition of Dr. Culver
well's Celebrated Essay ontlie radical cure (with
out medicine) of S'FI(matoiihii1!a or Seminal
Weakness, Involuntary Seminal Losses, Impoien.
cy. Mental and Physical Incapacity, Impediments
to marriage, etc. ; also. Consumption, Epilepsy
and llts, induced by self-indulgenceor sexual ex
travagance, &e.
Price, In a scaled envelope, only six cents.
The celebrated author. In till, admirable Essay,
clearly demonstrates, from a thirty years' success,
fill practice, that the alarming consequences of
sell abuse, may be radically cured without the
dangerous use of internal medicine or I lie appll
calionof thnkulfe; pointing out a mode of cure
at once simple, certain, and effectual, by means nf
which every sufferer, no matter what his condi
tion may be, may cure himself cheaply, privately,
and radically.
Sent under seal, tn a plain envelnbe. to auv ad
dress, post-paid, ou receipt of six cents or two
post stamps.
Address the publishers. BxKply
TllK CULVER WELL MEDICAL CO.
41 Ann St., New York ; Post Ollluo lto.4rw'.
E CHEAPEST IN THE WORLD
Peterson's Magazine J1
GREAT REDUCTION TO CLUBS POSTAGE
PRE PAID TO MAIL SUBSCRIBERS.
PETERSON'S MAGAZINE has the best Orlgl
nal Stotles of anv nf the ladv's books, the liest
Colored Fashion Plates. t lie best hecelyts, the liest
Steel Engravings, &c, sc. Every family ought to
have It. It gives more for the money than any la
the world. It will contain, next year, in Its twelve
numoers
One Thoutand Pages Fourteen Splendid Steel
j'tttieit Tuwire unorea iierun niuern
Tuxh Mammoth Otnred fiti iiinn
A'fne Hundred Wood VutaTieen-ty-tour
Payet oj Miuit !
It will also give Five Original Copyright Novel
ettes, by Mrs. Anil tt. Stephens, Frank Ie Bene
dict, Mrs. Frances Hodgson Burselt, Marietta
Holley, and Lucy H. Hooper. Also, nearly a
hundred shorter atories. All Original, by the best
auinors oi America, us sunem
Mammoth. Colored anhi Hates
are ahead of all others. These- plates are en
graved ou steel, twice the usual size.
TERMS (Alnajg In AdVanct-) $2 A YEAH.
Two Copies for S3.60 8 Copies for $4.80, with a
copy of the premium picture (UIx2U) "Cornwallls
Surrender," a Five Dollar Engraving, to the per
son getting up the Club.
Fuur Copies for Ki.80 5 Copies for S8.00. with an
extra copy of the Magazine fur 1X77. as a premi
um, to the person getting up the Cluh. '
Six Copies lor t9.60 7 Copies for $11.009 Copies
for SUM), with both an extra copy of the Maga
zine for 1XT7, and the premium picture, a Five
Dollar engraving, to the person getting tap the
Club.
Address, post-paid,
CHARLES J. PETERSON,
aotj Chestnut St., Philadelphia, Pa.
f Specimens seat gratis, if written lor. 14
I
MPORTANT TO HUCKSTERS.
The undersigned, deslrlngto return to thecltv.
offers for sale, the good wil l, to a good marketing
route in Perry Co.. with two houb team aud
fixtures all complete, with all necessary instruc
tions to purchaser. This is an old established
route and a rare ohauce. For particulars, call on
or address,
J. M. I.BTsrNET,
Mechanlesbiirg,
ill 3in. ' Cumberland Co.. l'a.
via res
Illutitrated Priced Catalogue
- Fifty pages 3UU lllustratlons.wlth Inscriptions
of the thousands of the best Flower mid Veg
etables in the world, and the way to grow them
alt No-a Two Cknt postage stamp. . Printed In
German and Engllan.
Vlck's Floral Guide. Quarterly. 25 cents a vear.
Vlek's Flower aud Vegetable Garden, 60 iieut
ta paperi In elegant cloth covers, tl.ou.
. . Addiess, JAMES YK'K, It ui' better, N, Y.
" fh7iefinntMy IA beat nmtatntd work tf tht
kind tn the WoHd."
Harper's Magazine.
ILLUSTRATED.
woiiiias or Tit n pmnss.
The Maaartnt has nltnlued In lis one Quarter
century and more of existence to that point
wiiero it mav Ho said of It. In the words nf Dr.
Johnson, " It It vnln to blame and useless to
praise." T he lustre nf Its Inng-ago-attalncd
reputation has Increased as the years have
passed, and Its ruluro seems as bright If not
lirlghtor than at any tlnto since the golden hue
or prosperity pcttled around Its later and best
years, llrottklyn h'aglt.
jiartMr-t Monthly Is marked bv tho same
characteristics which gave it circulation from
tho tint with tho better class of readers. It
combines reading matter with Illustrations In a
way to make clear and vivid the facts pre
sented. Pictures merely designed to 'catch the
eye of the ignorant are never Inserted. Vhieago
Journal.
TKRMBi
Postage free to all subsorllersln the United States.
HAHraa's Maoaxissk, one year 00
14 00 Includes prepayment oft). B. Hostage
by the publishers.
SulmcrlptloiiB to iiahfbh's Magasine. Wbek-
t.r and Hazah, to one uddress for one vear.
110 00 or, two of Harper's Periodicals, to ono
address for one year, 17 OOi ixislage free.
An extra copy of either the Mauassink,
WnEKt.r or BA!!A will bo supplied gratis for
every club of FivsBunscmirsitiiB at f I 00 each,
in one roiiiltiancvi or, six copies lor s-'U 00,
without extra copyi postage free, ,
Hack Numbers can be supplied nt any time.
Tho Volumes of the jlunnzltm commence with
the Numbers for Jnne and December nf. each
year. Subscriptions muy commence with any
number. When no time is spcclllcd. It will be
undsrttood that the subscriber wishes to begin
with the first number ol the current volume,
and back numbers will be sent accordingly.
A Complete Set of Harntr't Maaatlnt. now
comprising 5!i Volumes, In neat cloth binding,
will nu sent ny express, freight at expense ol
purchaser, for 'i 'iXi par volume. Single vol
umes, by mull, postpaid, Id 00. Cloth cases,
for binding, 58 cetits, by mall, postpaid.
A Complete. Analytical Index to tho llrst
Fifty Volumes of Jfarpur't Mayailnt bus lust
been published, rendering available for refer
ence the vast and varied wealth of Information
which constitutes this periodical a perfect Il
lustrated literary cyclopedia. Svo, cloth, f'l 00
Half calf, f5 !. Bent postage prepaid.
Newspapers are not to copy this advertise
ment without the express order of IIahfeh At
UiioTiiriis.
Address IIARPKlt A BIIOT1IEH3,
Now York.
.1 I'nmplfte 'Mortal HUtnrp of the Timet"
' The butt, eheapp.tt, ami mon tueeetrful Midi
Uu pajier in Vie Union."
Harper's Weekly.
ILLUSTRATED.
NOTICKSOrTilBKHESS.
Jlarnnr't Weekly should be lu every family
throughout the laud, as a purer, more Interest
ing, higher-toned, better-Illustrated paper Is
not published In this or any other country.
vvtnmereiai jiuumn, nostou.
The ri'W Is the only Illustrated paper of
the day that in Us essential characteristics Is
recognized as a national paper. Urooklyn
Knnle.
The leading articles In Rarptr't Wttkly on
political topics are models of high-toned dis
cussion, and its pictorial illustrations are often
corroborative argument of no small force.
Urotuimr and Chronicle, N. Y.
The Weekly has to a still larger degroo dis
tanced all competitors as an illustrated news
paper. Its editorials are among the most able
of their kind, and its other reading matter Is at
nucu learned, brilliant and amusing. Its Illus
trations are abundant and of rare excellence.
L'hrMian Advoeatt, N. Y.
TERMS:
Postage free In nil subscribers In the United State..
Hahi'Eii's VfTKi,r, one year 4 00
$4 00 Includes prepayment of U. S. postage
by thu publishers.
(Subscriptions to HAnpRttB M aoazinb, Week
ly and liAZAit, to one address for one year,
810 OOj or, two of Harper's Periodical, to one
address for one year, 7 00: postage free.
An extra copy of either the Magazine,
Weekly or Bazau will bo supplied gratis for
overy ci.uii of live Subscribers Btf4 00 eacl, In
one remittance; or, Six copies for (20 00, with
out extra copy; postage free.
Back Numbers can be supplied at any time.
The Volume of tho ll'efJtfp commence with
the rear. When no time Is mentioned, It will
lie understood that tho subscriber wishes to
commence with the number next after the re
ceipt of bis order.
Tho Annual Volumes of Jfarptr't Wukly, In
neat cloth binding, will bu sent by express,
free of express, for 7 00 each. A complete
set, comprising Twenty Volumes, sent on re
ceipt' of cueh at the rata of $5 25 per volume,
freight at expense of parchaser.
Cloth cases for each volume, snitable ft
binding, will be sent by mail, postpaid, on re
ceipt of 91 00 each.
Indexes to each vol Jine sent gratis on receipt
of stamp.
Newpopers are not to copy this advertlseraant
without the express order of IIahfkb A
Bhotiiehu.
Address HARPElt & BROTHERS
New Yodh
The Stand arp of The World
' Over 300 Moditicalions.
TO THE EECUISLVOTS Cf EE0f BICIESS
FAIRBANKS & EYJLUG.
715 CHESTNUT St. PHILRDELPHIA.
H
OME MANUFACTURE.
LOOK OUT! .
T would resuectlvelv Inform mvfrleadstbst Iln
i. tend calling upon theai wltk a supply of (ooa
of my
OWN MANUFACTURE. -
Consisting of
OAS8IMER8,
- CAB8INET8,
FLANNELS, (rialnaudhar'4)
toexehangetor woo orsellfor sash.
J.M.BIXLKS
fe FAIRBANKS!
V.a.Sha.
i ,JS
Wanted It In the Family.
An amusing story toltl of tlieJSuron
X., a member t f one of the oldest twitl
liroudcfttrumlllraln Frnnce,wliohiitl4,a-
ranged ft r him" a nmn lune with fin Kng
llHhlndy of immense wcaltii. A few weeks
liefore dttte appointed for the Wedding
the lover found out that hln betrothed, '
liistouil of being of a good fiitnlly, n
lmil been reported to blm, wits thf
dnughter of aqttuek diMttor, her golden
gul nous having been derived from the 1
s:ilo of patent tilllH. He broke olf the
match, whereat his father, Count X
who chuneed to be a widower, was norely i
tllnlreaned. "Ho tntuiy millions and all ,
lost to the futility. , Jtntlier tliatt that ,
dltould occur, he would marry the ludy ,
himself." Which he did forthwith. , ,
........
f&V A young man fresh from, college,
(Killing on- a lady, ami' Itcing tusked
by the Hcrvimt what name h1i nhnultil
give her nalMtrenB, replied :
'Amli'ti,r (which Ih tke Lut1i for '
ft lend'.)
The girt heritnted a rHomeiiti, imi t'Keiii
Mild :
" Whnt kimd of ft cum, Kir 1 "
The young student then gave hin-
name, iindinoncludcd tHtlck to Kngllnlt.
thereitftev;
A promlHlng youth of only xcveti'
HummtTH, who hud bi-eninetitmed' of not
alwuys telling the truths erons examined1
lils futlicr. "Futher, (iid you tine' to lie
when you- were a boy V" "No, my win,"' ,
Hnid the putcmul, whoavidently did nob
recall the past with any diHtiiiftiieMH..
"Nor mother, either?"' perlHted the'
young lawyer. "No; but why V" "Oh'
hecuune I don't nee how two people who.
never told a lie could have a boy. thai,
tells, tm many us I do.''
Ify ' 1 stty' Hambo, where does Huirf
reters live?" naked a traveler, of n, boy.
who eat balancing hinmolf ou a rail.
"Turn up dat street,den patmdatpondt.
den turn to de right, dun left, dun atriko
ofT from lde ob old Warm Hhed's hotipe,.
an' keep agwinn whar ye see a gal In. do-corn-fleldj
and ye onn't' help a-raisfili-'
it."
iJ-jT A man huvlnciuarrelled with. Ills
wife and locked her in her room, mint bis
aon up with a lionet Tho boy going to.
the door eaid: "ILrre lis a bone fattier
Base you may pick." The gentle nioUier
replied: "Take it back and tell him, I
Hay that he U not your father, and there'
a bone for him to pink.
(y'Dar'n gwlne to be wall,." remark
ed a colored eiiizen, "an' ulli yo
niggahtt mount Jes'it well gi! ready for
active business." "Which side shall wt
take ?" asked one of his heanurs. " Youi
algguliH can ta'.ia jea-'wat sidyer please-;;
I'se gwlne to take de Canadaiside."
fc-JT "Jo. my son, don't stand thera-
scratching your head; stir-yourself, orr
you will m rule no progrs- in Iifeu '
"Why father," replied tho-young hp
full' "I've often heard youisay that- fiie
only way to-get along in Uiis world1,, is.
to scratoli abvad, and I'tradninglU'"
3T The-following can ie raid, sob
make good sense If you cute OLuugla
to do it.
1 thee rend see thr mei
love l! will I'U have
But that and yoiv have you'll
One and down aid you if.
g?"A Young ludy once aotiil 'he
weari&g of moustacbsv is one- of)' the
things. I put my face-against.."' Well if
she was pretty, theite are but few wen
who would object So her pubting? her
face against their moustacUa she
desljed to.
C3T A Miss Joy waa preseba at a party
recently, when swue one ubtdi the iuo-
tuiion: "A thinj of lieaut ie-a Jy for
ever," when she exclaimed: "-.I'm s
gkul that I'm'rKt a beauty, fun 1 should
Kiot like to be a Joy forev.'
fg" Jolinnley on Mng remonstrated
with for coasting on the skle walk and
making It dangerous to pedestrians, wild
"Tis no worse for 'folks.' than for the
boys; they have to walk up with their
sleds, doaHtUey?"
A geutleman th other inoruiwrf:
was acWMstwl by a bootblack In tys,
manners- "Shine, sury" "No!""SI'.aie
'em up quick, sur. Do it in three d'JTer.
ent languapcs, 'publican, dimcratic and
greenback." He got the Job.
(yAn Irish agricultural journal,
advertises anew wasbinguiachlne untWf
the heading, "Kvery mau bis ow
washerwoman," and, in its culiuary de
partment says that "potatoes kmW
always be boiled In cold water.'1
. fy "Woman g a delustou !" excJuim
ed a crusty bachelor lo a witty young
lady. "And men are always liugsflpg
some icluioll,', wn thf iwk nM,