OWL LAFFS|
BY A WISE OWL
Market Street man
Lancaster
waiting
him:
A South
was smoking in the
railroad station in the
room. A porter said to
“Don’t you see that sign on the
wall, “No Smoking Allowed?”
“Yes, I do,” said the man,
“but how can I keep all the
rules?” There's another sign on
the wall that says ‘Wear Jan-
ella Corsets.”
his fa-|
local |
Burton Shupp asked
ther (who. is one of our
politicians) what a traitor was.
“Pop Shupp” (always think-|
ing: political) answered, “A
traltor is a man, or woman,
who leaves our party and goes)
to the other side.
Burton—Then what is a man|
who leaves his party and comes!
over to your side?
“Pop” Shupp (with
—''A convert, my boy,
vert.”
feeling) |
a con-|
Abe Mumma says: “Brag:-|
ging may not bring happiness, |
but no man with a big fish goes
home through the alley.”
have been able to ascertain thei oo... 4 Marshall College
| local health council plan advo- | acre the coming academic
| cated by the Medical Society to year, it was announced today
| be the answer. by Richard V. Showers, Direct-
The benefits that could ac | or of Admissions and Place-
crue to rural communities by| ent.
forming such local health coun- The college. is again offering
In a nearby town, a preacher, |
who also owned a farm, once]
saw the hired man resting his |
horses, and himself, so he ask-|
ed: “Why don’t you ‘trim thos
bushes while the horses rest?
The man made reply: “And|
might I suggest that you take a
bowl of potatoes into the pulpit |
and peel em” during the an-| correct the defects.” Physics, Theory of the Solid
them?” | Certainly the proposal is| State, Physical Electronics, An
{ worth the serious thought of e | alytical Instrumentation,
Which reminds me — “The! ey rural community in the Electron Optics. The graduate
nicest thing about laziness state. students will regists or Tuesday,
that you don’t have to work at |
5
Philosopher Enck
lot of good whiskey is
by putting gingerale in it—yes,
and a lot of good people have
been ruined by putting whiskey
with or without it, in them.”
ruined
Went to a party the other ev-|
ening and heard one of our old
timers give this toast:
“To the young girls:
for the good die young,
body wants a dead one!”
“To the older girls; but not
too old; for they dye, too,
nobody wants a dyed one!”
Earl Miller says the man who|
passes a pretty girl on the
beach in a bathing suit without
turning around is not necessari-
ly blind—he may be walking
with his wife.
A Florin lady journeyed to|
Lancaster and entering the of-
fice of a well-known divorce |
lawyer she asked: “I want to
know if I have grounds for a|
divorce?” i
“Are you married?” asked the |
genial lawyer. |
Yes,” answered the woman. |
‘Then you have,” answered |
the lawyer.
He used to take his wife ev- |
erywhere. But no matter where
he took her she always found!
her way back home.
A fire extinguisher salesman |
was trying to sell a Colurabia)
Avenue woman one of his lates: |
models - - he told her it would
give her fifty years service.
The Elderly woman replied: |
“But I won't be here all that!
time.” |
I think the salesman misund-| |
er stood her because he replied: |
“Oh— but you can take it with
You when you go.”
|
Women drivers wouldn't
have so much trouble squeezing
into a parking space if they’ d|
imagine it was a pair of shoes, |
Speaking of parking: Re:
member when the only difficult!
thing about parking was getting
the girl to agree to it?
A WISE OWL
Editor and Publisher,
| paper Publishers’
| LOCAL
| hope
| facilities
| sion.
| next
says “A
May
they be good, but not too good;
and no-
and
THE BULLETIN
Published every Thursday at 11
East Main Street, Mount Joy.
Lancaster County, Pa.
THE AMERICAN WAY TRAVEL TOGETHER |
SPEED, DEATH
THE BULLETIN, Mount Joy, Po. |
Thursday. September 1 2
Larmon D. Smith, Publisher
John E. Schroll,
1901-1952
Rate
Subscription $2.50 per
year by Mail i
| Advertising rates upon request.
Entered at the postoffice at
Mount Joy, Pa., as second-class
mail under the Act of March 3,
1879.
Member,
Pennsylvania News-
Association.
Editorially
HEALTH COUNCIL
PLAN MAKES SENSE
than pass-
Certainly of more
recommen-
ing interest was the } -
Penn
|
last week by the
sylvania Medical Society
health councils be
as a means to
health
To us it makes
In our rural
dation
that |
local estab-
lished
rural
a better
program.
sense —a lot
areas we
ever |
of sense.
do not have
to have, the
found in the
nor can we
medical
metro-
fine
| politan areas of the state, as for ey ar |
example in both Philadelphia wT ug us own : judgment as to}
and Pittsburgh where outstand- Vy Is “reasonable and prop- |
ing medical schools and medic- ‘ er. :
al resentch centers are located The Bible — The Spur to Human gigi whese limi is
Such facilities of course in 50 miles an hour, was not a-
turn attract the bulk of the
members of the medical profes-
It is perhaps best explain-| F & M OFFERS
ed away as a natural sequence. | EVENING COURSES
What then
best bet?
seems to be the| evening
So far
Two separate pro-
as we presented at
| grams will be
sils is perhaps best
up by Dr. Orio G.
the Society's Committee
ral Health, who said:
“By forming a health
cil and putting it to
ural area can take
and find out where the
spots are, can define the
lems, measure their magnitude}
and take constructive
summoned | .
| its graduate
McCoy, of] es
: | which properly
on Ru- :
| dents may do
leading to the
coun-1 of Science in Chemistry or Phy-
sics. The following subjects arc
offered in the Master of Science
Advanced Organic |
program
qualified
advanced
degree of
work, al
inventory
weak
prob-
program:
Chemistry,
Chemistry,
action to| od4s for Physicists,
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EVERY MAN WHO HAS BY HIS LIFE-WORK ADDED
70 THE SUM OF HUMAN ACHIEVEMENT OF WHICH THE RACE
18 PROUD, OF WHICH OUR PEOPLE ARE FROUD ALMOST
UPON THE TEACHINGS OF THE BIBLE
EVERY SUCH MAN HAS BASED HIS LIFE WORK LARGELY ed outdoor motoring cnthus-|
iasts of the Keystone State. {
"rr, ” ‘ |
THEODORE “TEDDY ROOSEVELT “Out on the open highway
where there is at least ‘raftic
Achievement
[ September 6 from 7 to 9 p. m.
| program will also be
gain. Registration for the under- ish; History of the United States
| graduate programs will be held} , 4 Pennsylvania, Humanities,
| Tue sday and Wednesday, Sept. General Psychology and Specch.
| ¢ and 7 7, from 7 10 9 p. Clas Registration will be conduct-
J a at Nona ed in the Admissions Office.
| 3. Stahr Hall, College Campus.
undergraduate courses include — i
under
stu-
work
Master
eral Income Tax Accounting
| Industrial Organization and
| Management, Personnel Manage- PEST CONTROL
| ment and Industrial Relations,
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Advanced Inorganic
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APPLIANCE SALE
Harrisburg - (PNS) The|
Soe AR is faster you drive the tighter
&% becomes death's grip on your
steering wheel, Pennsylvania
safety officials this week warn-
Robert Morris and Haym Sa-
lomon helped finance the Am-
erican Revolution.
Patronize Bulletin. Advertisers.
EAE Si
| SIMON P. NISSLEY
MARY G. NISSLEY
FUNERAL DIRECTORS
PTE
control is where speeders tramp
down hardest on the accelerat-|
or,” a spokesman for the Penn-
sylvania Bureau of Highway
Safety this week told a Penn-|
sylvania News Service reporter. |
“Naturally when something
goes wrong then, and he
lides with another car—or runs|
over a pedestrian—or rams in-|
to a tree, the results are iright.
col-
Dr.H.C.Killheffer
Optometrist
MANHEIM
163 S. Charloiie St.
Telephone 5.2888
Mon. & Wednes. 9.5:30
Tues, Fri. Sat. 7-9 P, M.
ELIZABETHTOWN
2nd Floor Clauss
Phone 7-4163
Tues. Fri. Sat,
9:80-1:00. 2-5 P. M
Quality Meats
Fruits & Vegetables |
WEST MAIN ST.
Mount Joy, Pa.
Electric
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Automobile and Truck Welding
LAWN MOWER SHARPENING
ALSO A FULL LINE OF
ee Weld
KRALL'S Meat Market Cover's Welding Shop
Delta and Marietta Streets
MT. JOY, PA. Phone 3-5931
MOUNT JOY
ful,” he commented mournful-|
ly.
It was pointed out tha: 11
states out of the 48 account for
well over half of the
traffic deaths.
nation’s
Only one-fourth of these
states had a speed limit lower
than 55 miles an hour — most
of them permitting mile-a-min-
ute speed, or letting the driver
mong the 11 states.
“Analyze such statistics cave-
fully,” he
contended “and you
| Classes will begin Wednesday,| come up with some damning
| Se ptember 14, at 7:30 p. m. indictments of speed -— truly
the nemesis of the
driver.”
unthinking
The Undergraduate
offered a-
Evening
Basic Accounting, Auditing, Fed Patronize Bulletin Afvortisors
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Inorganic Chem-
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All Prices in this Advertisement
are Effective through
Saturday, September 3
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Oy
3
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