OWL LAFFS|

BY A WISE OWL
Market Street man
Lancaster
waiting
him:
A South
was smoking in the
railroad station in the
room. A porter said to
“Don’t you see that sign on the
wall, “No Smoking Allowed?”
“Yes, I do,” said the man,
“but how can I keep all the
rules?” There's another sign on
the wall that says ‘Wear Jan-
ella Corsets.”

his fa-|
local |
Burton Shupp asked
ther (who. is one of our
politicians) what a traitor was.
“Pop Shupp” (always think-|
ing: political) answered, “A
traltor is a man, or woman,
who leaves our party and goes)
to the other side.
Burton—Then what is a man|
who leaves his party and comes!
over to your side?
“Pop” Shupp (with
—''A convert, my boy,
vert.”
feeling) |
a con-|
Abe Mumma says: “Brag:-|
ging may not bring happiness, |
but no man with a big fish goes
home through the alley.”
have been able to ascertain thei oo... 4 Marshall College
| local health council plan advo- | acre the coming academic
| cated by the Medical Society to year, it was announced today
| be the answer. by Richard V. Showers, Direct-
The benefits that could ac | or of Admissions and Place-
crue to rural communities by| ent.
forming such local health coun- The college. is again offering
In a nearby town, a preacher, |
who also owned a farm, once]
saw the hired man resting his |
horses, and himself, so he ask-|
ed: “Why don’t you ‘trim thos
bushes while the horses rest?
The man made reply: “And|
might I suggest that you take a
bowl of potatoes into the pulpit |
and peel em” during the an-| correct the defects.” Physics, Theory of the Solid
them?” | Certainly the proposal is| State, Physical Electronics, An
{ worth the serious thought of e | alytical Instrumentation,
Which reminds me — “The! ey rural community in the Electron Optics. The graduate
nicest thing about laziness state. students will regists or Tuesday,
that you don’t have to work at |
5
Philosopher Enck
lot of good whiskey is
by putting gingerale in it—yes,
and a lot of good people have
been ruined by putting whiskey
with or without it, in them.”
ruined
Went to a party the other ev-|
ening and heard one of our old
timers give this toast:
“To the young girls:
for the good die young,
body wants a dead one!”
“To the older girls; but not
too old; for they dye, too,
nobody wants a dyed one!”
Earl Miller says the man who|
passes a pretty girl on the
beach in a bathing suit without
turning around is not necessari-
ly blind—he may be walking
with his wife.
A Florin lady journeyed to|
Lancaster and entering the of-
fice of a well-known divorce |
lawyer she asked: “I want to
know if I have grounds for a|
divorce?” i
“Are you married?” asked the |
genial lawyer. |
Yes,” answered the woman. |
‘Then you have,” answered |
the lawyer.
He used to take his wife ev- |
erywhere. But no matter where
he took her she always found!
her way back home.

A fire extinguisher salesman |
was trying to sell a Colurabia)
Avenue woman one of his lates: |
models - - he told her it would
give her fifty years service.
The Elderly woman replied: |
“But I won't be here all that!
time.” |
I think the salesman misund-| |
er stood her because he replied: |
“Oh— but you can take it with
You when you go.”

|
Women drivers wouldn't
have so much trouble squeezing
into a parking space if they’ d|
imagine it was a pair of shoes, |
Speaking of parking: Re:
member when the only difficult!
thing about parking was getting
the girl to agree to it?
A WISE OWL

Editor and Publisher,
| paper Publishers’
| LOCAL
| hope
| facilities
| sion.
| next
says “A
May
they be good, but not too good;
and no-
and
THE BULLETIN

Published every Thursday at 11
East Main Street, Mount Joy.
Lancaster County, Pa.

THE AMERICAN WAY TRAVEL TOGETHER |
SPEED, DEATH
THE BULLETIN, Mount Joy, Po. |
Thursday. September 1 2

Larmon D. Smith, Publisher
John E. Schroll,
1901-1952

Rate

Subscription $2.50 per
year by Mail i
| Advertising rates upon request.
Entered at the postoffice at
Mount Joy, Pa., as second-class
mail under the Act of March 3,
1879.
Member,

Pennsylvania News-
Association.

Editorially
HEALTH COUNCIL
PLAN MAKES SENSE
than pass-
Certainly of more
recommen-
ing interest was the } -
Penn
|
last week by the
sylvania Medical Society
health councils be
as a means to
health
To us it makes
In our rural
dation
that |
local estab-
lished
rural
a better
program.
sense —a lot
areas we
ever |
of sense.
do not have
to have, the
found in the
nor can we
medical
metro-
fine
| politan areas of the state, as for ey ar |
example in both Philadelphia wT ug us own : judgment as to}
and Pittsburgh where outstand- Vy Is “reasonable and prop- |
ing medical schools and medic- ‘ er. :
al resentch centers are located The Bible — The Spur to Human gigi whese limi is
Such facilities of course in 50 miles an hour, was not a-
turn attract the bulk of the
members of the medical profes-
It is perhaps best explain-| F & M OFFERS
ed away as a natural sequence. | EVENING COURSES
What then
best bet?

seems to be the| evening
So far
Two separate pro-
as we presented at
| grams will be
sils is perhaps best
up by Dr. Orio G.
the Society's Committee
ral Health, who said:
“By forming a health
cil and putting it to
ural area can take
and find out where the
spots are, can define the
lems, measure their magnitude}
and take constructive
summoned | .
| its graduate
McCoy, of] es
: | which properly
on Ru- :
| dents may do
leading to the
coun-1 of Science in Chemistry or Phy-
sics. The following subjects arc
offered in the Master of Science
Advanced Organic |
program
qualified
advanced
degree of
work, al

inventory
weak
prob-
program:
Chemistry,
Chemistry,
action to| od4s for Physicists,

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EVERY MAN WHO HAS BY HIS LIFE-WORK ADDED
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18 PROUD, OF WHICH OUR PEOPLE ARE FROUD ALMOST
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EVERY SUCH MAN HAS BASED HIS LIFE WORK LARGELY ed outdoor motoring cnthus-|
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"rr, ” ‘ |
THEODORE “TEDDY ROOSEVELT “Out on the open highway
where there is at least ‘raftic

Achievement
[ September 6 from 7 to 9 p. m.
| program will also be
gain. Registration for the under- ish; History of the United States
| graduate programs will be held} , 4 Pennsylvania, Humanities,
| Tue sday and Wednesday, Sept. General Psychology and Specch.
| ¢ and 7 7, from 7 10 9 p. Clas Registration will be conduct-
J a at Nona ed in the Admissions Office.
| 3. Stahr Hall, College Campus.
undergraduate courses include — i
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Harrisburg - (PNS) The|
Soe AR is faster you drive the tighter
&% becomes death's grip on your
steering wheel, Pennsylvania
safety officials this week warn-
Robert Morris and Haym Sa-
lomon helped finance the Am-
erican Revolution.

Patronize Bulletin. Advertisers.

EAE Si
| SIMON P. NISSLEY
MARY G. NISSLEY
FUNERAL DIRECTORS

PTE

control is where speeders tramp
down hardest on the accelerat-|
or,” a spokesman for the Penn-
sylvania Bureau of Highway
Safety this week told a Penn-|
sylvania News Service reporter. |
“Naturally when something
goes wrong then, and he
lides with another car—or runs|
over a pedestrian—or rams in-|
to a tree, the results are iright.
col-
Dr.H.C.Killheffer
Optometrist
MANHEIM
163 S. Charloiie St.
Telephone 5.2888
Mon. & Wednes. 9.5:30
Tues, Fri. Sat. 7-9 P, M.
ELIZABETHTOWN
2nd Floor Clauss
Phone 7-4163
Tues. Fri. Sat,
9:80-1:00. 2-5 P. M

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MOUNT JOY

ful,” he commented mournful-|
ly.
It was pointed out tha: 11
states out of the 48 account for
well over half of the
traffic deaths.
nation’s
Only one-fourth of these
states had a speed limit lower
than 55 miles an hour — most
of them permitting mile-a-min-
ute speed, or letting the driver
mong the 11 states.
“Analyze such statistics cave-
fully,” he
contended “and you
| Classes will begin Wednesday,| come up with some damning
| Se ptember 14, at 7:30 p. m. indictments of speed -— truly
the nemesis of the
driver.”
unthinking
The Undergraduate
offered a-
Evening

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Oy

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