d==The Bulletin, Joy, Pa
OWL LAFFS
i
|
A WISE OWL
Have you picked out the ugly
Valentine you're going to send
me? Make it good, cause ‘1
don’t insult easily and anyhoo,
Ill know who it's from cause
there's certain people just wouldn't
be happy if they weren't being
nasty. I often thought I'd mail
it right back, but I hate to spoil
anyone's fun.
That little blonde not too far
from the high school is pretty |
smart. When she ‘writes love let-
ters she always makes a carbon
copy cause she feels the same
about. two boys. Sure saves a lot
of time, ‘and wear and tear.
Little Tommy going to his
first party and his mother was a
bit worried about his manners.
“Now what are you going to do
when you've had enough to eat?”
she asked, and little Tommy re-
plied: “Come home.”
A group of boys were exchang- |
ing stories about the opposite sex.
“Aww,” ‘sniffed a superior senior,
“girls are a '* dime a dozen
“Gosh,” sighed a freshman, “and
to think al] this time I've been
buying jelly beans.”
Learning of the need for “heavy
water,” a Gravel Hill woman wrote
to the Atomic Energy Commission
offering to sel] the “heavy water”
in her well. “Ive carried pails |
from that well for forty years,” |
she wrote, “and lately they've been |
getting heavier and heavier.” |
“So you are knitting a vest?!
But surely that would _t> too
small for anyone to wear?” re-
marked an uptown lady to
neighbor. “Yes, but that doesn’t
matter--it's for charity,” answered
ihe busy knitter. She evidently
takes “it’s not the gift but the
giving” entirely too broadly.
her
A Marietta father looked hard at
his wife and then at his son:
“That boy has taken money from
my pocket” “How can you say
that?” his wife protested. “Why,
I might have done it.” Father
shook his head. “No, you didn't, |
there was some left.”--Then it |
definitely was not the old lady!!
“A toast,” shouted the
raising his tomato can; “here's to
the holidays, all 365 of them.”
hobo,
Remember, men. Be sure you]
are right--then do what your wife}
tells you.
|
“What are |
A boy Soph asked:
you going to do tonight?”
A gir] Soph answered: “Noth-
ing special. Ill probably write a
letter or two, read a paper, listen
to the radio and so on.”
The boy suggested: “When you
come to the ‘so on’ would you
mind putting a couple buttons |
99
on my shirt?
It takes two cars to make an ac-
cident. Eliminate half of the cars
and you get rid of all accidents.
A doctor says that one million |
women in this country . are over- |
weight. These, of course, are
round figures.---I can account for
one.
Insurance Man: “Now, that
amounts to a premium of $6.90 per
month for straight life. That's
what you wanted, isn’t it?”
Freshman: “Well, I'd like to
fool around a little bit on Saturday
night.”---Delinquent!
One way of getting back on your
feet ig to miss a car payment.
|
1 was watching two ants running
like the wind across a cracker box.
3 “Say Hor | ‘Pete's sake,” , puffed ’ ‘one,
of hg at last, ‘what re, we Tun-'
ning sojfast’ for?” 2 “the: other
ant explained: “Can’ t-you J d?
It says right here ‘Tear along, ‘the
dotted line’.” apt
; WISE OWL
Patronize Bulletin advertisers,
January
SHORT STORY.
A Misunder-
standing
Thursday,
‘LL. NEVER FORGE
tacle of Joe Abbott
Obeid fighting,
am more apt to shudder than smile,
and Count
Though it certainly had amusing
aspects,
You see, Jc
is an American
«Minute And he wasn't
used to the way |
Fiction they did things |
in Luandia.
Anyway, when Joe and I stopped
off at Cabindas on our world cruise,
we were much pleased with the
place.
That night we had dinner at
the Plaza and it was there that
we first saw Kandace. She was
sitting alone in a booth, and
when she caught Joe staring
at her boldly, she nodded and
smiled at him.
Instinctively I knew,
the door, that Joe was in for trou-
ble. And I was right. The tall dark |
man strode toward the booth and |
| ‘there was
something about him
that caused my blood to creep. I
stood up,
quick enough. The stranger had
grasped Joe by the coat front,
jerked him to his feet and slapped
his face.
Joe was hauling back for a hay-
maker when my arms closed about
him.
After a while a messenger came
in and handed me a note. I read it
and looked sourly at Joe. “Now
you've dome it, That was Count
| Obeid and that was his girl you in-
sulted.”
“Insulted?” said Joe.
“And he wants to fight a duel
with you. He realizes our boat
sails first thing in the morning,
so in order to accommodate us
he’ll await our pleasure at
dawn. He will do you the honor
of permitting you to choose
your own weapons,”
Joe shook his head and fried to
grasp it.
smacked my jaw—wants to fight |
a duel? You mean like they do in |
can |
Sabatini’'s books?’’ “And I
choose my own weapons,’ Joe
went on. He stood up. “Come on.”
I followed him, not quite daring
| to use force in stopping him again
yet ready for any emergency. We
went back to the Plaza. The count
and his girl were, of course, gone.
Joe made inquiries, wrote down ar
address and beckoned me to fol-
low. A taxi deposited us before a
pretentious looking house of white
adobe. A servant admitted us and
presently Count Obeid appeared.
“You're giving me the honor of
choosing my own weapons,” said
Joe. “I'll take these,” and he knot-
mp 7 0 ven ees ap
|
|
{
|
Grinning, Joe stepped in and
delivered a quick one-two to |
the mobleman’s chin, |
ted up his fists and held ial
under the count’s nose.
“Those!’’ said the amazed count.
“Yeah,” said Joe, ‘and on your
honor as a gentleman you can't re- |
fuse. Also, why wait till dawn?"
HAT followed was pitiful. We |
trooped into the back yard.
Joe and the count took off their
coats and squared off. Grinning,
Joe stepped in and delivered a
quick one-two on the nobleman’s
chin. Blood appeared on his mouth.
He swung wildly. Joe set him back
on his heels. The count came in
again and Joe knocked him down.
He got up and came back for more. |
“Listen, old horse, he said,
“you're as dumb about the customs |
back in America as I am about
them over here. Only I didn't have
the guts to fight you your own way
—and you, well, by gosh, there are
danged few Americans can take it
the way you have. And right here
and now I rise to remark you have
my apology, and I'll tell that dame
so, too, if you'll tell me where she
lives.”
Well, the count only caught
on to about one-third of what
Joe meant and grinned and of- |
fered his hand.
Ten minutes later the three of
us were sitting around a fire in
Kandace’s living room, laughing
and, talking and drinking, punch
«and? telling ‘each other that, it was
‘too ‘bad there wasn't a. perfect un-
derstanding : about “customs of dif-
ferent countries, and agreed that
if such wére the case every one
would be happier,
Released by WNU Fealures
NE i DL. .ag
When in need of Printing, (amy=
26, 1950 |
By Richard Hill Wilkinson
CT the spec- |
Thinking of it, I}
when I saw |
the tall dark man come through |
|
but was by no means |
“That dope who |
| ning, defeating Mount Joy by a 64
to 26 score at E'town
| Mount Joy G Fi
iWilsen F ......., iii 2 3 7
(Estee Bucy 0.0 1 0 2
MeCue'® ............., 2 2 6
Shupp F ..... resins 0 2
Bowman C ...:.. vis 2 0 4
Roser G ............... 2 1 5
Bates G,.............., 0 0 0
Miller G.............. 0 0 0
Totals cians 10 6 6
Elizabe thiow n G. FIN
{| Geodling P ............ 7 8 22
Chapman F ..... 1 2 10
D’Agos’o F .... } 0 6
ChittumC ............. 2 3 7
Meckley G ............ 0 0 0
iWeaver G ........ wis g 315
Lambert G ............ 2 0 1
Totals ... : 21 22 ©
Score by perio ds:
| MOUNT JOY ..... 3 6 8 4-2
...... 16 17 16 21—64
| Referees, Sneath, Sweigart.
SECTION 1
Teams WwW LL Pe
| Manheim Boro ..... 6 1 857
Elizabethtown ..... 6 1 857 |
{Mount Joy ......... 4 3 571
East Hempfield ..... 2 3 286
{ East Donegal ........ 2 5 286
Marietta ...... 1 2 6 163
| Manheim Boro ..... 5 2 14
Mount Joy ........... 3 4 429
Muarjetta..... coi. 3 4 A429
East Hempfield ..... 3 4 A429
1 000
By V 9
MUTT AND JEFF
JEFF, YOULL NEVER REGRET
MARRYING THAT WOMAN I
PICKED OUT FOR YOU! SHE LL
MAKE YOU A GOOD WEL [
|
(LE LOW DOWN
from
Well folks, putting a finger on
| the exact spot where the USA has
a screw loose is my chore for to-
| day's illuminating lecture. And
| before going further--and to nip in
| the bud any back-talk from any
| striped-pants or horn rimmed up-
start, saying there is no loose
anybody if we are
a dilemma now than
|
|
|
| screw--1 ask
| not in more of
| ever before in our history. Nev-
er in history has the Govt. pre-
scribed more gargles, lotions salves
{ and the quacks are still
us. With the medicine we
taken we should haye been up and
around long ago.
at work on
have
Now, the question is to locate
the loose screws before the old
f chaise caves in complete, like
when the free, loose and easy liv-
| ers there in Rome finally kurned
| down the whole town. Nobody
| then saved even his other shirt,
| if he had one left by that time.
We are getting on thinner and
thinner ice as we put more and
| more of our eggs in one big Govt.
| basket. When the bottom drops
| out, nobody sits pretty. Our
| Govt, is already too big and pom-
| pous-=-~but still bending ef-
| fort to take in more territory.
every
But the loose screw. What
| makes us such a sucker for Big
| Govt.---that is the query. Send
[no box tops---just send answers.
{ Thank you folks.
Yours With The Low Down
JIMMY
eet Ieee
LOCAL HIGH SCHOOL CAGERS
| CHAMPIONSHIP HOPES FADE
Elizabethtown High put a crimp
basket ball
championship hcpes last Friday ev-
| into our local team’s
Friday Night's Results
Fast Donegal 32, E. Hempfield 31.
Manheim Boro 46, Marietta 37.
JAY VEE LE AGU E
Elizabethtown
East Donegal ........ 0
Friday Night's Results
E. Hempfield J-V 18, E. Donegal
1 J-V 15.
Elizabethtown J-V 35, Mount Joy
Manheim Boro J-V 43,
J-V 42.
Marietta
JUNIOR HIGH LEAGUE
Team W LL Pet
Elizabethtown ...... 7 0 1.000
Marietta ..........%, 5 2 714
Manheim Boro ...... 5 2 714
East Donegal ....... 3 4 429
East Hempfield ..... 1 6 A143
Mount Joy ......... 0 000
Tuesday’s Game
E. HEMPFIELD ... 10 7 7 7-31
8 8 412-32
FAST DONEGAL .
ntl GR
MT. JOY LEGION BASKETBALL
1949 - 1950 SCHEDULE
January
Monday 30—Rothsville Home
February 4
Monday" 6—Paradise Away
Thursday 9—Marietta Away |
[ NOW PRONOUNCE You
—— —_——— ——— ©
FON
MAN AND WIFE ! Fr WA
Watches-Clocks-Jewelry
And Watch Repairing
Warren H.|Gteenawali
JEW
209 West Main St., MT. JOY
OFEN EVERY EVENING
Welding
Electric
and Gas
Also Specialize On
FARM MAC WELDING
AND EQUIPMENT
Autcmobile afd Truck Welding
LAWN M RR SHARPENING
Cover’s!Welding Shop
Delta and Marielta Streets
MT. JOY, PA. Phone 3-5931
Beer!Call 3-4189
For Hone Delivery
WRCKER
SPRENGER
VALYEY FORGE
IEL’S
RIOR
RALEING ROCK
ALEJ& PORTER
Victor J. Schmoll
—Distributor—
OPEN UNTIL 9 P. M.
Drive In For Curb Service
(ir) ilig
efal Home
nm Si.
23 W, Mount Joy
JAMES B. HEILIG,
Funeral Director
EASIER WAY
10 SOLVE / <2
[BUS SINESS £
TROURES
1S
TO
ADVERTISE /.
HERE — ([j
ot
34
£7 ae
re =
Valentine Gift
SHOP AT
y
Koser's Watch Shop
Two doors south of Bachmann's
Chocolate Factory
Chocolate Ave., FLORIN, PA.
Dial Mt. Joy 3-4015
BENNETT'S
BULK AND GALLONS
POULTRY FLOCKS THREAT
There is a serious epidemic cf
poultry diseases thruout the county
says County Agent Harry S. Sloat.
Chicken Platter
$1.00
‘Children's Platter 75c¢
In some flocks more than thirty |
per cent died. CLOSED SUNDAYS
a 2 ‘ $x
Pas hu ovis ei ley tags + get de Ei Ere apes
F v WHEN YA GET THROUGH
THERE, YOU CAN RUN TO THE §
STORE AND GET ME SOME
/ BLow )
| HARD!
e By Bud Fisher
Harold R. Hunt
347R-3 R.
¢ J
This
Weekend!
Wonderful Food,
Drink and Music
Too! Meet Your
Friends Here.
FRID
10:00 to 1:00 P.
SUNDAY
CHARLIE NERY
TRIO
Dancing 9
PIANOy— @RGAN
HATS
MADE and REMODELED
DRESBMAKANG
ALTERATJO NS
ELIZABETHTOWN
Miss Mage
N KRAMER
tKramer
19 W. ono St, MOUNT Joy
Company Branch Office
For Service On All Policies Of
MOUNT JOY MUTUAL INSURANCE COMPANY
CITY MUTUAL INSURANCE COMP.
‘penter, Inc.
Mount Joy. Penna.
49-3m|
PHONE 3-9094
Save Norris Labels
— For —
FREE PREMIUMSe
Fancy Apricots:::.2 29:
Pineapple Preservds i: | 9
Catouph 25:
25
25:
29:
Ib. 49:
09
6/25:
10:
29
39:
«
LIBERTY CRUSHED
Golden C
MISSION
Sliced Pineapples 2% can
KUNZLER'S
Skinless Franks
KLINES HOME-MADE
Cocoanut Cream Eggs
HOOVERS
Cocoanut Cream Eggs
Chewing Gum
5¢ Candy Bars
Ice Cream & Cake Roll
Rinso 27c | 2/2 1c
Swan i 2/28c¢ | Lifebuoy 2: 3/23¢
Hess’ Food Stores
MOUNT JOY MASTERSONVILLE
MANHEIM 5-7811
These Prices Effective Thursday, Friday and Saturday (this week)
Benefit Florin Fire Co.
EVENINGS J oO SATURDAYS
SHOWS MATINEE
A
wees! | THEATRE| vei
6.8.10 P. ‘2:00 P. M.
Mount Joy, Pa.
FRIDAY — SATURDAY, JANUARY 27 - 28
MILTON BERLE — VIRGINIA MAYO
“ALWAYS LEAVE THEM LAUGHING”
FIRST FEATURE STARTS saffunay AT 5:45 P. M.
-in-
ROD CAMERON — ABRIAN BOOTH -in-
“Brim tone”
NUARY 31
BUD ABBOT JU COSTELLO -in-
“Hold at Ghost”
WEDNESDAY—THURSDAY, FEBRUARY 1 - 2
SALLY FOREST — FEEFE BRASSELLE
“Not Wanted”
~-in-
Must be paidion of before February 1st, 1950, ail
bove date will be collected by
other means of folge with extra costs added to tax
payer.
agency from West Chester, Pa.
unpaid taxes aflgr
This transaction will be done by a collecting
JAMES E. HOCKENBERRY
Tax Collector
a 7 rg
ARE YOU WORTH Jit TEA
A new law affecting mo
torists
if involved in an iol Vou
(1) put up $11,000 cash; (;
amount; (3) prove you cj
surance. Is No. 1 possible
Play safe, see us toda
coverage, ~
will soon be in effect—
must do one of 3 things:
2) provide bond for that
y that much liability ine
Can you depend on No. 2?
the best of insurance
TUAL CASUALTY COMPANY
Harleysville, Pa,
Affiliate:
FMutual “Auto Fire
insurance Co,
PHONE 3-9305
85 EAST MAIN STREET MOUNT JOY, PENNA.
Insurance plus insurance service.