d==The Bulletin, Joy, Pa OWL LAFFS i | A WISE OWL Have you picked out the ugly Valentine you're going to send me? Make it good, cause ‘1 don’t insult easily and anyhoo, Ill know who it's from cause there's certain people just wouldn't be happy if they weren't being nasty. I often thought I'd mail it right back, but I hate to spoil anyone's fun. That little blonde not too far from the high school is pretty | smart. When she ‘writes love let- ters she always makes a carbon copy cause she feels the same about. two boys. Sure saves a lot of time, ‘and wear and tear. Little Tommy going to his first party and his mother was a bit worried about his manners. “Now what are you going to do when you've had enough to eat?” she asked, and little Tommy re- plied: “Come home.” A group of boys were exchang- | ing stories about the opposite sex. “Aww,” ‘sniffed a superior senior, “girls are a '* dime a dozen “Gosh,” sighed a freshman, “and to think al] this time I've been buying jelly beans.” Learning of the need for “heavy water,” a Gravel Hill woman wrote to the Atomic Energy Commission offering to sel] the “heavy water” in her well. “Ive carried pails | from that well for forty years,” | she wrote, “and lately they've been | getting heavier and heavier.” | “So you are knitting a vest?! But surely that would _t> too small for anyone to wear?” re- marked an uptown lady to neighbor. “Yes, but that doesn’t matter--it's for charity,” answered ihe busy knitter. She evidently takes “it’s not the gift but the giving” entirely too broadly. her A Marietta father looked hard at his wife and then at his son: “That boy has taken money from my pocket” “How can you say that?” his wife protested. “Why, I might have done it.” Father shook his head. “No, you didn't, | there was some left.”--Then it | definitely was not the old lady!! “A toast,” shouted the raising his tomato can; “here's to the holidays, all 365 of them.” hobo, Remember, men. Be sure you] are right--then do what your wife} tells you. | “What are | A boy Soph asked: you going to do tonight?” A gir] Soph answered: “Noth- ing special. Ill probably write a letter or two, read a paper, listen to the radio and so on.” The boy suggested: “When you come to the ‘so on’ would you mind putting a couple buttons | 99 on my shirt? It takes two cars to make an ac- cident. Eliminate half of the cars and you get rid of all accidents. A doctor says that one million | women in this country . are over- | weight. These, of course, are round figures.---I can account for one. Insurance Man: “Now, that amounts to a premium of $6.90 per month for straight life. That's what you wanted, isn’t it?” Freshman: “Well, I'd like to fool around a little bit on Saturday night.”---Delinquent! One way of getting back on your feet ig to miss a car payment. | 1 was watching two ants running like the wind across a cracker box. 3 “Say Hor | ‘Pete's sake,” , puffed ’ ‘one, of hg at last, ‘what re, we Tun-' ning sojfast’ for?” 2 “the: other ant explained: “Can’ t-you J d? It says right here ‘Tear along, ‘the dotted line’.” apt ; WISE OWL Patronize Bulletin advertisers, January SHORT STORY. A Misunder- standing Thursday, ‘LL. NEVER FORGE tacle of Joe Abbott Obeid fighting, am more apt to shudder than smile, and Count Though it certainly had amusing aspects, You see, Jc is an American «Minute And he wasn't used to the way | Fiction they did things | in Luandia. Anyway, when Joe and I stopped off at Cabindas on our world cruise, we were much pleased with the place. That night we had dinner at the Plaza and it was there that we first saw Kandace. She was sitting alone in a booth, and when she caught Joe staring at her boldly, she nodded and smiled at him. Instinctively I knew, the door, that Joe was in for trou- ble. And I was right. The tall dark | man strode toward the booth and | | ‘there was something about him that caused my blood to creep. I stood up, quick enough. The stranger had grasped Joe by the coat front, jerked him to his feet and slapped his face. Joe was hauling back for a hay- maker when my arms closed about him. After a while a messenger came in and handed me a note. I read it and looked sourly at Joe. “Now you've dome it, That was Count | Obeid and that was his girl you in- sulted.” “Insulted?” said Joe. “And he wants to fight a duel with you. He realizes our boat sails first thing in the morning, so in order to accommodate us he’ll await our pleasure at dawn. He will do you the honor of permitting you to choose your own weapons,” Joe shook his head and fried to grasp it. smacked my jaw—wants to fight | a duel? You mean like they do in | can | Sabatini’'s books?’’ “And I choose my own weapons,’ Joe went on. He stood up. “Come on.” I followed him, not quite daring | to use force in stopping him again yet ready for any emergency. We went back to the Plaza. The count and his girl were, of course, gone. Joe made inquiries, wrote down ar address and beckoned me to fol- low. A taxi deposited us before a pretentious looking house of white adobe. A servant admitted us and presently Count Obeid appeared. “You're giving me the honor of choosing my own weapons,” said Joe. “I'll take these,” and he knot- mp 7 0 ven ees ap | | { | Grinning, Joe stepped in and delivered a quick one-two to | the mobleman’s chin, | ted up his fists and held ial under the count’s nose. “Those!’’ said the amazed count. “Yeah,” said Joe, ‘and on your honor as a gentleman you can't re- | fuse. Also, why wait till dawn?" HAT followed was pitiful. We | trooped into the back yard. Joe and the count took off their coats and squared off. Grinning, Joe stepped in and delivered a quick one-two on the nobleman’s chin. Blood appeared on his mouth. He swung wildly. Joe set him back on his heels. The count came in again and Joe knocked him down. He got up and came back for more. | “Listen, old horse, he said, “you're as dumb about the customs | back in America as I am about them over here. Only I didn't have the guts to fight you your own way —and you, well, by gosh, there are danged few Americans can take it the way you have. And right here and now I rise to remark you have my apology, and I'll tell that dame so, too, if you'll tell me where she lives.” Well, the count only caught on to about one-third of what Joe meant and grinned and of- | fered his hand. Ten minutes later the three of us were sitting around a fire in Kandace’s living room, laughing and, talking and drinking, punch «and? telling ‘each other that, it was ‘too ‘bad there wasn't a. perfect un- derstanding : about “customs of dif- ferent countries, and agreed that if such wére the case every one would be happier, Released by WNU Fealures NE i DL. .ag When in need of Printing, (amy= 26, 1950 | By Richard Hill Wilkinson CT the spec- | Thinking of it, I} when I saw | the tall dark man come through | | but was by no means | “That dope who | | ning, defeating Mount Joy by a 64 to 26 score at E'town | Mount Joy G Fi iWilsen F ......., iii 2 3 7 (Estee Bucy 0.0 1 0 2 MeCue'® ............., 2 2 6 Shupp F ..... resins 0 2 Bowman C ...:.. vis 2 0 4 Roser G ............... 2 1 5 Bates G,.............., 0 0 0 Miller G.............. 0 0 0 Totals cians 10 6 6 Elizabe thiow n G. FIN {| Geodling P ............ 7 8 22 Chapman F ..... 1 2 10 D’Agos’o F .... } 0 6 ChittumC ............. 2 3 7 Meckley G ............ 0 0 0 iWeaver G ........ wis g 315 Lambert G ............ 2 0 1 Totals ... : 21 22 © Score by perio ds: | MOUNT JOY ..... 3 6 8 4-2 ...... 16 17 16 21—64 | Referees, Sneath, Sweigart. SECTION 1 Teams WwW LL Pe | Manheim Boro ..... 6 1 857 Elizabethtown ..... 6 1 857 | {Mount Joy ......... 4 3 571 East Hempfield ..... 2 3 286 { East Donegal ........ 2 5 286 Marietta ...... 1 2 6 163 | Manheim Boro ..... 5 2 14 Mount Joy ........... 3 4 429 Muarjetta..... coi. 3 4 A429 East Hempfield ..... 3 4 A429 1 000 By V 9 MUTT AND JEFF JEFF, YOULL NEVER REGRET MARRYING THAT WOMAN I PICKED OUT FOR YOU! SHE LL MAKE YOU A GOOD WEL [ | (LE LOW DOWN from Well folks, putting a finger on | the exact spot where the USA has a screw loose is my chore for to- | day's illuminating lecture. And | before going further--and to nip in | the bud any back-talk from any | striped-pants or horn rimmed up- start, saying there is no loose anybody if we are a dilemma now than | | | | screw--1 ask | not in more of | ever before in our history. Nev- er in history has the Govt. pre- scribed more gargles, lotions salves { and the quacks are still us. With the medicine we taken we should haye been up and around long ago. at work on have Now, the question is to locate the loose screws before the old f chaise caves in complete, like when the free, loose and easy liv- | ers there in Rome finally kurned | down the whole town. Nobody | then saved even his other shirt, | if he had one left by that time. We are getting on thinner and thinner ice as we put more and | more of our eggs in one big Govt. | basket. When the bottom drops | out, nobody sits pretty. Our | Govt, is already too big and pom- | pous-=-~but still bending ef- | fort to take in more territory. every But the loose screw. What | makes us such a sucker for Big | Govt.---that is the query. Send [no box tops---just send answers. { Thank you folks. Yours With The Low Down JIMMY eet Ieee LOCAL HIGH SCHOOL CAGERS | CHAMPIONSHIP HOPES FADE Elizabethtown High put a crimp basket ball championship hcpes last Friday ev- | into our local team’s Friday Night's Results Fast Donegal 32, E. Hempfield 31. Manheim Boro 46, Marietta 37. JAY VEE LE AGU E Elizabethtown East Donegal ........ 0 Friday Night's Results E. Hempfield J-V 18, E. Donegal 1 J-V 15. Elizabethtown J-V 35, Mount Joy Manheim Boro J-V 43, J-V 42. Marietta JUNIOR HIGH LEAGUE Team W LL Pet Elizabethtown ...... 7 0 1.000 Marietta ..........%, 5 2 714 Manheim Boro ...... 5 2 714 East Donegal ....... 3 4 429 East Hempfield ..... 1 6 A143 Mount Joy ......... 0 000 Tuesday’s Game E. HEMPFIELD ... 10 7 7 7-31 8 8 412-32 FAST DONEGAL . ntl GR MT. JOY LEGION BASKETBALL 1949 - 1950 SCHEDULE January Monday 30—Rothsville Home February 4 Monday" 6—Paradise Away Thursday 9—Marietta Away | [ NOW PRONOUNCE You —— —_——— ——— © FON MAN AND WIFE ! Fr WA Watches-Clocks-Jewelry And Watch Repairing Warren H.|Gteenawali JEW 209 West Main St., MT. JOY OFEN EVERY EVENING Welding Electric and Gas Also Specialize On FARM MAC WELDING AND EQUIPMENT Autcmobile afd Truck Welding LAWN M RR SHARPENING Cover’s!Welding Shop Delta and Marielta Streets MT. JOY, PA. Phone 3-5931 Beer!Call 3-4189 For Hone Delivery WRCKER SPRENGER VALYEY FORGE IEL’S RIOR RALEING ROCK ALEJ& PORTER Victor J. Schmoll —Distributor— OPEN UNTIL 9 P. M. Drive In For Curb Service (ir) ilig efal Home nm Si. 23 W, Mount Joy JAMES B. HEILIG, Funeral Director EASIER WAY 10 SOLVE / <2 [BUS SINESS £ TROURES 1S TO ADVERTISE /. HERE — ([j ot 34 £7 ae re = Valentine Gift SHOP AT y Koser's Watch Shop Two doors south of Bachmann's Chocolate Factory Chocolate Ave., FLORIN, PA. Dial Mt. Joy 3-4015 BENNETT'S BULK AND GALLONS POULTRY FLOCKS THREAT There is a serious epidemic cf poultry diseases thruout the county says County Agent Harry S. Sloat. Chicken Platter $1.00 ‘Children's Platter 75c¢ In some flocks more than thirty | per cent died. CLOSED SUNDAYS a 2 ‘ $x Pas hu ovis ei ley tags + get de Ei Ere apes F v WHEN YA GET THROUGH THERE, YOU CAN RUN TO THE § STORE AND GET ME SOME / BLow ) | HARD! e By Bud Fisher Harold R. Hunt 347R-3 R. ¢ J This Weekend! Wonderful Food, Drink and Music Too! Meet Your Friends Here. FRID 10:00 to 1:00 P. SUNDAY CHARLIE NERY TRIO Dancing 9 PIANOy— @RGAN HATS MADE and REMODELED DRESBMAKANG ALTERATJO NS ELIZABETHTOWN Miss Mage N KRAMER tKramer 19 W. ono St, MOUNT Joy Company Branch Office For Service On All Policies Of MOUNT JOY MUTUAL INSURANCE COMPANY CITY MUTUAL INSURANCE COMP. ‘penter, Inc. Mount Joy. Penna. 49-3m| PHONE 3-9094 Save Norris Labels — For — FREE PREMIUMSe Fancy Apricots:::.2 29: Pineapple Preservds i: | 9 Catouph 25: 25 25: 29: Ib. 49: 09 6/25: 10: 29 39: « LIBERTY CRUSHED Golden C MISSION Sliced Pineapples 2% can KUNZLER'S Skinless Franks KLINES HOME-MADE Cocoanut Cream Eggs HOOVERS Cocoanut Cream Eggs Chewing Gum 5¢ Candy Bars Ice Cream & Cake Roll Rinso 27c | 2/2 1c Swan i 2/28c¢ | Lifebuoy 2: 3/23¢ Hess’ Food Stores MOUNT JOY MASTERSONVILLE MANHEIM 5-7811 These Prices Effective Thursday, Friday and Saturday (this week) Benefit Florin Fire Co. EVENINGS J oO SATURDAYS SHOWS MATINEE A wees! | THEATRE| vei 6.8.10 P. ‘2:00 P. M. Mount Joy, Pa. FRIDAY — SATURDAY, JANUARY 27 - 28 MILTON BERLE — VIRGINIA MAYO “ALWAYS LEAVE THEM LAUGHING” FIRST FEATURE STARTS saffunay AT 5:45 P. M. -in- ROD CAMERON — ABRIAN BOOTH -in- “Brim tone” NUARY 31 BUD ABBOT JU COSTELLO -in- “Hold at Ghost” WEDNESDAY—THURSDAY, FEBRUARY 1 - 2 SALLY FOREST — FEEFE BRASSELLE “Not Wanted” ~-in- Must be paidion of before February 1st, 1950, ail bove date will be collected by other means of folge with extra costs added to tax payer. agency from West Chester, Pa. unpaid taxes aflgr This transaction will be done by a collecting JAMES E. HOCKENBERRY Tax Collector a 7 rg ARE YOU WORTH Jit TEA A new law affecting mo torists if involved in an iol Vou (1) put up $11,000 cash; (; amount; (3) prove you cj surance. Is No. 1 possible Play safe, see us toda coverage, ~ will soon be in effect— must do one of 3 things: 2) provide bond for that y that much liability ine Can you depend on No. 2? the best of insurance TUAL CASUALTY COMPANY Harleysville, Pa, Affiliate: FMutual “Auto Fire insurance Co, PHONE 3-9305 85 EAST MAIN STREET MOUNT JOY, PENNA. Insurance plus insurance service.