d—The Bulletin, Mt. Joy, Pa Thursday, March 25, 1948 | OWL LAFFS, | | | | | BY ee A Marietta street man was bawling his son out the other | evening. He said: “You ought to he ashamed of yourself being so lazy. When George Washington was your age, he became a survey- or and was hard at work.” The son replied: Yeah, and when he was your age he was president.” Because our next issue will be toc late to warn you, beware of “lost” wallets, hats and other items conveniently placed for suckers to find. Next Thursday, April 1st, is April Fool's Day. In a phone call to our office a man explained that his uncle had Leen a regular subscriber for half a century. “He's always been a model of propriety—doesn’t smoke or drink; never uses strong language and hasnt ever been to a theatre or the cinema,” the nephew explain- ed. “In fact, my uncle has absolute- ly no vices or excesses. And he's going to celebrate his 80th birth- day tomorrow.” “How?” asked our clerk. The young schoolteacher had just finished telling a small boy the story of a lamb that had stray- ed from the flock and been eaten by a wolf. # “You see”, she said, “had the lamb been obedient and stayed in the flock, it would not have been eaten by the wolf, would it?” “Nc, ma'am,” answered the small boy. “It would have keen eaten by us.” That's logic. “Bobby,” said the teacher stern- ly, “you know that you have brcken the eighth commandment by stealing John's apple?” “Well, miss,” replied the unre- pentant boy. “I thought I might just as well break the eighth and have the apple as break the tenth and only covet it. A fellow from Florin was telling me how dumb his neighbor is. “What makes you think he is dumb?” “Well, you know that poster down at the post office reading. “Man Wanted for Robbery in Chicago?” “Yeah. “He went in and applied for the job.” A cheap wrist watch had stopped ticking and the purchaser took it back tc the jeweler who'd sold it to him to find out what caused the trouble. The jeweler took the back cover off it and poked around in the wcrks. He found a dead bug. “Ne wonder it doesn’t work,” he said sagely, “the engineer is dead.” A father and his daughter were held up by a masked bandit while driving the family nag to town. The father barely had time to whisper to his frightened daugh- ter: “Hide your diamond bracelet in your mouth.” The bandit tcok everything he could find and drove ecff in their gig, but he didn't find the brace- let. When he was out of sight the farmer observed: “It’s too bad we didn’t bring Mama. We could have saved the horse and buggy.” Down at the Springs I over- heard a Mama Bunny and her ofi- spring having quite an argument, Finally the exasperated parent could stand it no longer. finals to replace amateur After losing to Millersville in the semi-finals, Mount Joy | Quarryville Legion, victims C. A. in the other semi-final ge for third place. The locals won the Falk F . Wenglz F ... J. Warfel F LEGION PLACES THIRD IN C. OF C. TOURNAMENT Mount Joy's Legion { down to defeat in the semi-finals | of the Lancaster Junior of Commerce tournament, | hands of Millersville. went on to beat R. C. Mount Joy as champs of the game and the third place cup by a score of 60 to 35. The scores: Pavig C ..... 1. Warlel C ........... Ne GG ................ | Neil G Levan G tRendig G ...... Totals Zink F tle #4 Fellenbaum F Walters ‘C ...... Conrad” C ........ Hallgren C Breneman G E'Crider G ...... J. Crider 'G ..... Totals i : Score by periods: Millersville Mount Joy Ank’'m F Newsw'r G Work G ....... Zink ® .............. Walters C defending their city A A, 7 tod ising in the Bulletin. Millersville Mount Joy I poor Carroll KE ............... Rineer F ...........x., Cameron C ............. Rochrabh C ............. Shank G ........ Lay Groff ©& Fellenbaum PF ........... Hsllsven I .............. Conrad C feds Breneman G ............ Brow GCG KF. Crider G ....... iar J. Crider G ............. Totals, .............. Score by periods: Quarryville .... 813 Meunt Joy . 4 Referees: Kenneson, eee LEGION DEFEATED ARMSTRONG The Mount Joy Legior n amateur tourney title, al field of four teams into the finals of this year's tourney day night by defeating Armstrong| —————— Stimulate your business by adver- —————— OU rem Subscribe for the Bulletin. wculd he say?” “He'd say: ‘You're dear!” —— Hoe' Hoe! so much?” asked cne. “I think,” said the Not too long ago a the following is cne was received proceeds home under telephcne poles 88 > eyes 24 hours later. answer? Patrick's Day gift of any name while remeniscing “Okay,” she said, “you were pulled out of a magician's hat. Now will you quit asking ques- | | tions?” —— She could have said { {upon two of his men the Faster Bunay brought her. A parson had ccecasion to re=- | prove a small boy for swearing. “RH you feel you must say some- thing just say ‘brother!’ he said. Your father doesn’t swear, does he?” “Oh, no, sir!’ “Well, then, if he were werking in the garden and suddenly stepped kackwards onto a rake which flew | a I A WISE OWL . = 11=13-f up and hit him from kehind what Going his rounds “lights out,” the flood water. ‘Shame c¢n you bawled at them. His voice krought | an officer on the scene. “What's the trouble, asked the officer, they?” Which naturally brings to the two little girls who were dis-!ternocn while Quarryville lost to does! RCA 45 to 37 in the other semi- Bible final tilt, cussing their families, * your grendmother read girl, that she is cramming finals.” — These kids! class was asked to make original mathematics questions and| “A” drinks 2 quarts own steam, detouring violently running into « 6 foot 3 inch patrolman at point X. “A” weighs 149 lbs, and is 5 2 inches in height. Compute area of the dark circles A lady uptown was the of a most novel and coleridl quite proud. It's a pair red bloomers with green rccks on them, I'm not mentioning but I can say the bloomers are extra large in size. a humorous item cne of our ex GI's told us about It had rained heavily all day and | the camp was completely the sergeant washing in ‘Why, these men are themselves in the water going to sleep in,” was the gusted reply. —— Unsanitary, washing Jorecise filing “Rs are jice—you'll like dis- ain't REG’LAR FELLERS ‘By Gene Byrnes YOU SAID YOU WERE THROUGH WITH GAMBLING FOREVER! AW JEST THIS ONCET, (™ N | PROMISE. Ya IF 1 LOBE THIS TIME My CONE FOR GOOD! I'M THROUGH ! I'M WASHED LP! | CROSS MY HEARY CROSSED = - AN NOW THEN-- KEEP YA FINGERS HOPE. SUMP'N ‘THE LOW DOWN from. HICKORY GROVE For something refreshing, you 5 know, I kinda believe it would be great to just squint over the front page of some morning, and not see a story there, where Uncle Sambo is fixing to dive into a few more million buck ventures, pro- | jects, uplifts, programs. That ‘would 5 be, sure as shcotin’, a novelty. It will take a lot of different kinds of vitamins to get us back half-way on our feet and in fair o|health, once we discover and de- 2 cide we are getting too near the money barrel bottom. Spending has gone chronic, There in Con- gress — also at the City Hall and Court House we gotta tell ‘em 0 we have a wish for a change. We 16 15 21 13—65 12 10 14 19—=55 Referees: Mearig, Keene. Quarryville need a “New Look” in public officials, We need folks who savvy ‘A what 6 bits looks like and under- stand how sometimes, to get same, ,/you may have to prespire a bit. o|Tell ’em lots of other voters are commencing to get a little agitated 5(too, about this spending, and won- |dering where we will come out. That kind of talk will make them {listen — voter talk. It will be a great day — and re- freshing — when more gents in public office stand up and say, “no, boys, we can’t do that — too ex- Jlpensive,” Sisters and brothers, for 5a “New Look,” that would be (, champion. Yours with the low down, JIMMY 0 6 2 MILLERSVILLE TEAM WINS ——ICITY-COUNTY CHAMPIONSHIP The championship of the second 4 10—=35/annua] City and County Amateur 9 19 18—60 Basketball Tournament Sunday {was secure in Millersville, in pos- session of the Millersville Recrea- tion Association’s team. The Millersville team, success- ors to the Mount Joy Legion, RAT - led the title and the trophy, pre- “|sented by the Lancaster Junior "Chamber of Commerce, the spon- ors, by downing RCA, 47 to 37, in the finals before several hundred Ifans at the Lancaster Armory Sat- jurday night. Third place in the tourney went {to last year's champs, Mount Joy, {who defeated the Quarryville | Legion, 60 to 35, in a special con- early. |solation playoff preceding the title game. Mount Joy had been elim inated by Millersville, 65 to 55, in mindione semi-final game Saturday af- — —— rr reer little! MILK TO DROP 1c QUART The State Milk Contrcl Board ordered a cut of one cent a quart in the retail price of milk effective scheol May 1. ATTEN EAL DR.. § MILLIS OPTOMETRIST 59 N. Market St., Efizabethtown PHONE: #4-J i Eyes Examingd by Appointment Daily: 9toland 2 to 5 Evenings. Tues. and Sat. 6:30 to 8 No Hours Thursday By a vote of 78 to 11 the Senate voted to slash income taxes 4.8 billion, Federal agents seized a big still in Berks County and 26,000 gallons of alcohol, 190 proof. The bcdy of Russell Balliet, 38, of Berwick, who was shot and killed Dec. 10, was found floating in the Susquehanna river at Holt- | wood. FRI-SAT. BAG) “TEER TRE: THEATRE SHOWS EVERY NIGHT | Matinees Sat. at 2; Sunday at 2:20 LAST TIMES THUR, MARCH 25 | “MR. DISTRICT ATTORNEY” Mar. 26-27 RAY MILLAND ‘GOLDEN EARRINGS’ SAT. MATINEE ONLY MONTE HALE (in Trucolor) ALONG THF OREGON TRAIL’ PLUS 1'> HOURS OF SHORTS STARTS 2 P. M.. — ALL SEATS 25¢ i SUN. -MON. Mar. 28-29 sr Where Justice 7 ~ Was Written in i HOT LEAD! 3 . WIDE Go % OPEN i $+ AND WILD! JIA Pile he Wi Mi Hayes Russel He Lon Chaney TUES. ONLY Mar. 30 YOAN 99 FOE “IVY WERT DR REP | WON FIRST PRIZE IN DIST. SPEAKING | Herman Yeager, won first prize, in the District American | speaking contest | students. | Other participants test were Joan field Twp. High School; Eidson, Jr., Manheim Twp. High | School; and Barbara Ranck, Mount | near Lancaster, | Joy High School. a $50 Savings bond | { Legion | DUST LIVESTOCK | Lice on cattle can ke controlled by two dusts, 5 to 10 per cent DDT or a 1-3 mixture of derris or cube | root and wettable sulphur, rubbed | against the lie of the hair. | | | [ | { i | luled to appear i {2 Romance of the West ! ‘ALBUQUERQUE,” A scene from Paramount's Cinecolor movie, | starring Randolph Scott and Barbara Britton, sched- | at the Marietta Theatre Sunday afternoon and evening, and Monday evening, March 28 and 29. Remodel YOUR BATHROOM | / Take Months To Pay. First Payment Due November First Payments To Suit You. Plumbing - - Heating - oil Burners R. L. BREAKIRON 333 Marietta Avenue PHONE DAY — MOUNT JOY 215] NOW Mount Joy BEER! Call 1185 For Home Pelivery WACKER SPRENGER VALLEY FORGE PIEL'S PRIOR ROLLING ROCK ALE & PORTER Victor J. Schmoil Distributor— OPEN UNTIL 2 v2. M. Drive In For Curb Service "BENNETT'S Reser 45 EAST MAIN ST. MOUNT JOY Open 8 A. M. fo 10:30 P. M. Monday thu Saturday Dinner 11-2 and 5 to 8. ® before. CLOSED EVERY SUNDAY UNTIL EASTER ® Breyers Ice Cream $1.90 Gal. @ontainer Have your saws filed 4 by machine. {ech cleaner, faster. Milton Grove, Pa. Ph. Mt. Joy 129R12 | Life Insurance Co. | Quality Meats ALSO A FULL LINE OF Fruits & Vegetables | KRALL'S Meat Market West Main St., Mt. Joy RETIRE ON A LIFE INCOME i CAN SAVE DEE $2 $5 $10 8 WEEK Re How much a month for life will | receive beginning at age Name... Address... Presenl AGS... ices Mail tos Penn Mutual BIGLER H. MUMMA Mount Joy, Pa, Telephone 7-R 00g) | 1-29-3Mo. | Signs emma { | | | | HOURS: Announcing The Opening OF Slim's Luncheonetie POST OFFICE BLDG., FLORIN (Formerly known as Grofl's Luncheonet{e) SPECIALIZING IN ALL KINDS SANDWICHES LIGHT BREAKFASTS DOLLY MADISON ICE CREAM LUNCHES — SUPPER 7:00 A. M. to 10:30 P. M. Sunday 12:00 M to 11:00 P. M. 3-11-3M ASTER KULP'S Easter Candies ASSORTED NESTS HOLLOW CHOCOLATES Easter Flowers AZALEAS — st CINERARIAS Will arrive about March 24th HYACINTHS i DAFFODILS KIDDIES EASTER NOVELTIES BABY TOYS taster Straw - Egg Dyes - EASTER GREETING CARDS Roliit Ball Point Pens $1.00 Esterbrook Re-new Point Fountain Pen $1.50 KULP'S NEWS AGENCY 39 EAST MAIN STREET IT'S TIME AT — JELLY EGGS — DECORATED EGGS erties: HYDRANGEAS Victrola Records MOUNT JOY, PENNA. 8 a ec EVERY WEDNESDAY GAME NIGHT WEEK END SPECIAL ITALIAN SPAGHETTI — LOBSTER TAIL STEAMED CLAMS ~— STEAK SANDWICHES EASTER BREAKFAST | 1:00 p m. to 2:30 p. m. Ham and Eggs MEMBERS: REMEMBER FRIDAY NIGHT American Legion Post NO. 185 MOUNT JOY, PA. 10-3 NK HR KR Ke Ke oS Se De "SIEGRIST CAFE LANCASTER AND MARIETTA PIKE BEER ~ WINE ~ LIQUOR Shooting Match Friday Night March 26th 8 TO 12 HAMS AND TURKEYS Sten Ree Es 3-11-3¢ Mount Joy Frozen Foods LOCKER PLANE PHONE 189-M Open Daily 8 a. m. to 5:30 p. ny. — Open Friday to 8:00 p. m. FROSTED FOODS SPECIALS RHUBARB ..............:.. 16c | STRAWBERRIES - U.G. .. 45¢ PEAS - Picksweet Brand .. 25¢ | BRUSSEL SPROUTS ...... 28¢ FORDHOOK LIMA BEANS - Picksweet Brand .............. 3c EVERYDAY LOW PRICES PEAS - Consumers .... 2 for 49 |STRING BEANS .......... .28 SOUR CHERRIES .. 1 Ib. .28 | CAULIFLOWER ........... 25 SWEET CHERRIES .... 1 1b. 25 | BRUSSEL SPROUTS ....... . 28 APPLE SAUCE ........ 1 1b. .15 | BABY LIMA BEANS ...... .35 APRICOTS ..... vaya 11 3 ................ 24 PINEAPPLE 1 1b. .30 | CORN - Picksweet Brand .. .26 CREAM TOPPING .:....... 27¢ | Concentrated Orange Juice ..27¢ HADDOCK FILLETS .......... 1h, 43 CLOISTER DAIRY ICE CREAM Pints .25 2 gis. 95 1 gal. $1.85 SUPPLEE SEALTEST ICE CREAM Gallon $1.90 2V2 Gallons $4.50 Pints 25¢ Butter Pecan, Fudge and Pineapple IceCream Tals... 15¢ Moccasin-type oxtord . with sp ecial spring heel. Popular saddle oxford . with red rubber sole. Just like the grown- ups. White elk plain-toe ox- ford. High or low. Ip brown, too. JACK HORNER Mount Joy Columbia JOY 1/0 EVENINGS SATURDAYS SHOWS MATINEE 7 AND §:00 P. M T AND SATURDAYS H E AT R E HOLIDAYS 6-58-10 P 2:00 P. M. Mount Joy, Pa. ASE SSSR. FRIDAY — SATURDAY, MARCH 26-27 RAY MILLAND — MARLENE DIETRICH -in- “GOLDEN EARRINGS” MONDAY — TUESDAY, MARCH 29-30 ROBERT YOUNG — SUSAN HAYWARD -in- “They Won't Believe Me” WEDNESDAY. — THURSDAY, MARCH 31 - APRIL 1 TYRONE POWER — BLONDELL -in- “NIGHTMARE ALLEY” FRIDAY — SATURDAY, APRIL 2-3 WALTER PIDGEON — DEBORAH KERR -in- “IF WINTER COMES” We write and Print Your Ads GET Tol THE MONEY
Significant historical Pennsylvania newspapers