Newspaper Page Text
By FRED'K L. BAKER .
g DOLLAR AND A ILLY AVW
PAYABLE IN ADVANCE.
o p i n " LINDSAY'S BUILDING," mond
por, on Elbow Lane, between the Past
o.#el Corner and Front-St., Marietta.
poster County, Pennsylvania.
OVEATIIIMI KATES : One square (10
0 ,,,,.1 08 )75 cents for the first illocution and
Ing Dollar and-a-half for 3 insertions. Pro.
lisioesl and Blllinen cat de, of siA linci or less
ti 1 1 5 Pet annum. Notices in the reading col
loot, ten cents Marriagerand Deaths,
to dimple announcement, razz ; but for any
liditionsl lines, ten cents a line.
A liberal deduction made to yearly and half
't idy advertirerb
bring jut added a " Mlthltrlnr MOON . -
OM Joann nun," together with a large
laannent of new Job and Card type, Cuts,
tud „, , &d., lathe Job Office of gi TEN
Warms," which will insure the foe and
oody execution of all kinds of Joa Si CARD
h iN TI 0 from the smallest Card to the
wag , porno, at reasonable prices.
E. REMINGTON & SONS,
Of .Revolvers, Rifles, Muskets
For the United Stales Service.
Do, Pocket and Belt Revolvers,
l!ifle Canes, Revolving Rifles, Rifle and
not Gun Barrels and Gun materials,
ao:L1 by Gun dealers and thczTrade
days of Housebreaking' and. Robbery,
&use, Store, Bunk and Office ihOuld
ell)ingt one ijebolbets.
Fan desiring to avail themselves of the
:VP improvements in Pistols, and superior
rhanhhip and form, will find all combined
temingtan ttabolbtus.,, ,
Circulars containing cute and desCription
V.! Arms will be furnished on application.
E. REMINGTON 4. SONS__i
I N. Y.
Y. 40 C00111011&st., N. Y.
gihultj.'s "tat Otcoe,
Established in 1829.
NO. 211 NORTH QUEEN STREET,
W E ab o l o in er
u fi l ic to tu v r e e ll o a u t r own goods, thus en-
L D TIME PRICES.
The largest, best and most complete stoat
and ra lower prices than auy house in the
Our immense nook of . Spring and Summer
(land, conciats of all the novelties of the sea
s; et lean fifty different styles the most Pop
of which are the
Cavalier DeOrsay, -
Indicator, very new,
splendid Silk Rat for $5:00 I .
Cheaper than can be had elsewhere.
Our bueineaa connection with our patrons
Period of nearly 40 years, is a sufficient
lea k rrantee of our ability to please all who
NeY favor us with a call.
SHULTZ & BROTHERS,
O. 20 North Queen-st., Lancaster.
TR , 1 77 '''''
Dpg FR IEND_
The Belt of the bierithlies--devoted to
%on and Pure Literature. . 2 . 50 a 3 ear ;
° Olt 34.00 ; Eight (aud one gratis)
WHEELER & WILSON'S SEWING
CHIVES given as premiums. Seed 15
crate for nipple copy to • DEACON & PE
ZLISON, 319 Walnut st., Philadelphia.
D R. J. Z. HOFFER,
4 " .
o r THE BALT:iioRz COLLEGE
1 7 OF DENTAL SURGERY,
LATE OF lIARRIBBURG.
0 " CE: --Front street , next door to R
a o lf !,1 1 4 located in the Borough of Marietta,
Duh'lr te epeetfully offer his services to the
n'' e . mul being detei mined to do his worY
41V e l l, and a t reasonable Prices, he hopes to went
eFeive a liberal share of public patronage.
44(4 3 May 12, 1885.-3 t•
D AN / EL G. BARER,
ATTORIVRY AT LAW,
No. 24: 3 N - 1 .---- eri Dunn Elm zer t
%urt se, Where be a.
v, 2 1 ° the the prac Co tice of hie profession in all it •
„,..' WM. B. FARNESTOCga
Flold.—matteusr., 3111 MA *Zit omen%
B Patigler & batman*” atom.
OA—C T ----
rimer To 8 AL 3e.
HOURS. PI /TO 2.
LARGE LOT 01111114 WINDOW
' 04 out pri
Love's First Impression
I once heard an old Jour remark that
a printing office was no place for love
making, and I have since experienced
the truth of the expresssion,_ being now
perfectly convinced that the. flower of
love can never bloom in the midst of
types, oases and printing ink.
It was my fortune once to sojourn for
a few days in the village of --. Direct
ly opposite the office was a pretty white
cottage, with a rose bush 'clambering
around the casement, and I was not long
in making the discovery that the afore
said cottage, with the rose shaded
window, contained a fair inmate—a flow
er, whose beauty outshone the roses
that clustered around the window. She
was the belle of the village. Her name
was Mary. I have a passion for the
name of Mary.
It was a beautiful summer morning,
and I had raised the window to admit
the breeze from the flower-decked fields
and it was not long ere I perceived the
cottage window was also hoisted, and
the sweet little Mary was sitting busily
engaged with her needle. I worked but
little that morning. My eyes constantly
wandered toward the cottage where lit
tle Mary sat, and all sorts of - strange
fantastic notions wandered through my
brain, and I began to think I felt a light
touch of what the poets call love, sliding
in atone corner of my heart.
A few days passed away, and chance
made me acquainted with Mary. Oh
she was a sweet creature ; she had a form
that would have shamed the famous de
Medici—a cheek that outfiusbed the
richest peach, and lips that would have
tempted a bee from its hive on a frosty
morning. I thought, as I gazed on her
hi mute admiration,. that I had never
looked on one so beautiful. She seem
ed the embodiment of everything lovely
and bewitching. Well, time passed on,
and one day Mary expressed a desire to
visit the printing office. " Good,"
thought I, " what a chance I I'll have
a kiss there—yes, there, in the very
midst of the implements of mine 'art—
why shouldn't II" Love in a printing
office ? Oh ! there was something orig
inal in that, and I resolved to try it at,
all hazards. --
Well, Mary came to the office, and I
explained to her the use of the various
implements of the black art—the press,
the roller, the ink, and the stands, and
the boxes of the A. B. C's. I took an
opportunity to snatch her little white
hand ; she drew it back, and knocked a
stickful of matter into " pi."
" I must have a kiss for that my pret
ty one," said I, and at it I went. I
managed to get my arm around her
waist, and in struggling to free herself,
she upset a galley of editorial, a long
article on Negro Suffrage.
Nothing daunted, I made at her again.
This time I was more successful, for I
obtained a kiss.' By Saint Paul, it was
a sweet one, and that little witch bore
it like a martyr ; she never screamed
once. Bat as I rased my lips from hers,
she lifted her delicate hand and gave me
a box on the ears that made me see
more stars than were ever viewed by
Herschel through his big telescope.
Somewhat nettled, and my cheek smart
ing with pain, I again seized her about
the waist and said :
" Well, if you don't like it, just take
back the kiss,"
She made a desperate struggle, and as
she jerked herself from my arms her foot
struck the lye pot, and over it went.
Another galley of editorial was sprink
led over the floor, and in Itir efforts to
reach the door, her foot slipped and she
fell, and in her efforts to sustain herself,
her hand—her lily white hand—the same
white hand that bad came in contact
with my ears—oh ! horrible I was up to
the elbow in ink ! Shade of Franklin I
She slowly drew it from the keg, drip
ping with ink, and asked what use I
made of that tar. I began to be seri
ously alarmed, and apologized in the
best manner I could, and to my surprise
she seemed more pleased than angry ;
but there was a lurking devil in her eye
that told me there was mischief afloat.
As I stood surveying the black covering
of her hand, scarcely able to suppress's
laugh at the strange meta morphosis, she
quickly raised it on high and brought it
down keralap upon my cheek. Before I
could recover from my surprise the same
little hand had again deacended, and
,its inky imprint upon my other
.1 Why, Mary; I exclaimed; . "'what
ere you about ?"
" I think you told th y.ou roiled ink
im the face of the- form," elle replied,
witb - s loud Isogb, lord *gain ker bard
alithimikut iptnnsgitrania *anal fax fke Now girth.
MARIETTA, SATURDAY MORNING, JUNE 9, 1866.
lit upon me—taking me a broad slap in
the middle of my countenance, most
wonderfully, bedaubing my eyes. With
a light step and a merry peal of laughter
she skipped through the door. She
turned back when beyond my reach, and,
her roguish face peering through the
"I say, Charlie, what kind of a roller
does my hand make t'
"Oh," said 1, "you take too much
"Hal ha 1 " she laughed, "
good-bye, Charlie, that's my impression."
I went to the glass and surveyed my
self for a moment, and I verily believe
that I could have.passed for a Guinea
nigger, without- the slightest difficulty.
"And so," said• I to myself, " this is
love in a printing office. The devil fly
away with such love."
The next morning, when the editor
came to toe office, I rather calculated
he found things a little topsy turvy.
However, that made no difference to me
for I mizzled before daylight. I bore
the marks of ,that scene many a day, and
now, whenever I see a lady entering a
printing office, I think of little Mary,
and keep my eye on the ink keg,
GRASS WIDOWS AND WIDOWERS.—The
following has a very wide application,
and will be read with a smile of appre
ciation by both sexes.
HUSBAND TBAVELLING.-SCOIIO 1: room,
hotel, Spittoons full of cigar•stumps.
Bourbon whiskey. All hands equipped
for a night's spree. Husband in a hur
ry to be off, writing:
"Dear Susie: My time is so occupied
with. businies,pat I can hardly spare a
moment.,toispite to you. Oh darling,
bow I miss yin ; and the only thing that
sustains thei ddring my absence is the
thought that every moment thus spent
is for the benefit of my dear wife and
children. Take good care of yourself,
my dear. Feed the baby on one cow's
milk. Excuse haste," eto.
WIPE - AT HOME.—Scene 2: Parlor.
All the-gas lit. Thirteen grass widows
Fred, from round the corner with his
violin ; Jim, from across the way with
his banjo ; Jack, from above with his
guitar; Sam, from below with his flute ;
lots of others with their instruments.
Dancing and singing ; side-board cover
ed with nuts, fruits, cakes, cream, wbis.
key, etc. Wife in a hurry to dance,
writing to her husband :
"Dear Hubby: Flow. lonesome I feel
in your absence. The hours pass tedi
ously. Nohody calls on me, and I am
constantly thinking on the , time when
you will be home and your cheerful
countenabce light up the now dreary
routine of everyday life. My household
duties keep me constantly employed.
I am living economically as possible,
knowing that your small income will not
admit of frivolous expenditures. But,
now, dear, I will say good-bye, or I will
be too late for the monthly concert
prayer-meeting. In haste, yours," etc.
How MIRRORS 'RE MADE.—Probably
few of our readers have a clear idea bow
the huge mirrors that are so fashionable
and expensive are made. The plate
glass which comes from France or Ger
many, is first polished by rouge brushes ;
next a bag containing the common po
tatoe, reduced by a pulverizing process
to an almost impalpable powder, is ap
plied to the glass, the potatc; dust es
caping through the meshes of the bag,
then a plate foil is spread upon &setting
bed of marble, and on it is placed the
prepared quicksilver ; the glass is then
placed on top of this and pressed down
with heavy weights. Here it remains
about twenty-four hours, and if found
free from flaws is ready for use.
A day or two since a young lady
from the country rode into a town " to
do a:little shopping,", and after hitching
her horse on . the square, entered one of
the most fashionable dry goods establish
ments and seated herself on a stool by
the counter "to wait her turn." A mo
ment or two after, she was approached
by one of the polite young clerks of the
establishment and addressed. as follows :
"I am no longer engaged, Miss—ie any
one waiting on you ?" Blushing immod
erately, the damdel, after some hesitation
replied "No, sir, I came in alone on
the old mare."
At a medical examination, a young
aspirant for a doctor's diploma was ask
ed, " When does mortification ensue 7"
When you propOse to• alovelysgirl and
What is the difference betwain aecep.
tad and rejected lovers 1 The accepted'
kiillloll the misses, sod the rejeote'd mice-
es the kisses.
Mistook his Man.
A. novel scene occurred last week be
fore the aldermanic committee which
was sitting to listen to arguments pro
and con in reference to widening Fifth
avenue. Among other speakers'was one
George Hearney, who did not appear to
understand the question before the com
mittee very clearly, and made something
of a Judy of himself in his rambling re
marks, which were about as pertinent as
—a toad with two tails. After he had
run himself under the tenement houses
of the tenth ward into the wine-cellars
of. Fifth avenue, through the city tax
books, into city palaces and sand heaps
—in fact, into the ground generally, with
out letting any one know what he was
after--Judge Hilton suggested to the
chairman, Alderman Byers, that he re
quest the speaker, Elearney, to state for
whom he appeared. .
The " gentleman's " speech was ar
rested like a sudden suspension of a
state of animation, and, scratching his
head with his fore finger, he replied at
last in a subdued and solemn tone, that
it was none of his business 1 Being
pressed, however, he finally answered :
"I came here at the earnest request of
Mr. Stewart. Mr. A. T. Stewart, I be
lieve his name is."
Mr. Stewart instantly arose, with a
Blight twinkle of anger in his eye, and
said : " No, sir l no sir l I beg the
gentlethan's pardon. I did no such
thing. I never saw the man before in
my life. Never !"
The brilliant orator was evidently
somewhat surprised to find that Mr. S.
was present, he clearly never having set
eyes on him before. " Perhaps," said
he, "I am mistaken. On reflection I
believe it was &judge who employed me.
Yes, I recollect now it was Judge Hil
On this up jumps the judge, and says :
"Are you certain it was Judge Hilton
who employed you ?"
"Oh yes, I am quite certain." •
" Do you know Mr. Hilton r says the
"Oh, certainly I I know him well.
In fact, I am on intimate terms with
"Do you see bim in the room ?" says
the judge looking shout very inquiring-
" No, Ido not see him. No, sir," ad.
justing his bone spectacles. "lie is
not in the room."
"Yea, he ie, sir," says the judge. " I
am the man ;, but I Dever sent you here
on this or any other business ; never saw
you before in my life, and never want to
Roam of laughter, of course, followed
this expose, in which the eminent coun
sel for somebody did not "jive."
When order was restored, he arose
with unwonted alacrity, and said':
" Well; gentlemen, some of you have
made a mistake. I sha'nt pretend to
say where the fault lies ; but this I do
know, that somebody—yes, sir, some.
body—gave me fifty dollars to come here
and favor this project, or do something,
I don't exactly know what, but who the
devil it was, or what I was to do or say
I'll b—" ( closing his fist with a thump
upon the table) "if I know."
This finished the proceedings of the
day, and the " house " adjourned, the
eminent counsel for somebody ratiring
in disgust. •
NOT COMPLIMENTARY.—Last fall near
ly, all the ministers of the M. E. church,
stationed on Lake Superior, went down
to conference on the famous propeller
I. Lae la Belle," the first mate of which
is a gruff but„ dry old joker. Having
heard that there were several miniseers
on board, the mate remarked, in a care
less sort of a way, that the trip would
be a stormy one.
"Why do you think so ?” inquired one
of the ministers, who happened to over
hear the prediction.
" Because there's so many preachers
on board," said the mate.
" W hy," replied the minister, " I've
traveled on the lake for the last five
years, and never was in much of a storm
yet. How do you account for that ?"
"Why;" relined the mate dryly; "per
haps you are net much of a preacher."
WORTH RRBIEMBERING.-It is said that
it a piece of charcoal is laid upon a burn
tbe pain subsides immediately. By
leaving the charcol on one hour, the
burn is healed, as has been demonstra
ted on several occasions. This remedy
iit'ohriap and simple, and certainly de
serves a trial.
` Merin 91eConntry pots out a
sign in the torni of a 444 saw, with the
. Sew Dentist" psieted on it.
Next to being a bride herself, every
young lady likes to be a bridesmaid.
Wedlock is thought by a large propor
tion of the blooming sax to be conta
gions, and much to the credit of their
courage, fair spinsters are :not at all
afraid of catching it. So far as official
conduct is concerned, when yon have
seen one bridesmaid, you have seen the
whole fascinating tribe.. Their leading
duty seems to be to treat the bride as a
"victim led with garlands to the sacri
fice." They consider it necessary to
exhort her to "cheer up." Her fair
assistants provide themselves with pun
gent essences lest she should faint at
the " trying moment," which, between
you and'', she has no more idea of doing
than she has of dying. It is true she
sometimes tells them she "feel as if she
should sink into the earth," and that
they respond, " poor dear I" and apply
the smelling-bottle; but she neverthe
less goes through hernuptial rnertyrdom
with great fortitude. In nine cases out
of ten the bridegroom is more "fluster
ed" than the fragile and lovely woman
at his side ; but nobody thinks of pity
ing him, poor fellow 1 If one of the
groomsmen does recommend him to take
a glass of wine before the ceremony to
" steady his nerves," the advice is given
superciliously, as who should sai v ,"what
spooni you are, old fello - w l"
Maids may be considered as brides in
what lawyers call the "inchoate " or in
cipient state. They are looking to that
day of triumphant weakness when it
shall be their turn to be " poor, dear
creatured," and otherwise sustained and
supported as the law of nuptial preten
ces directs. Let us hope they may not
To CLEANSE THE INSIDE or JARS.—
There is frequently some trouble in
cleansing the inside 'Of jars that have
bad sweetmeats, or other articles pat in
them for keeping, and that when empty,
were wanted for future use. This can
be done in a few minutes without scrap
ing or soaking, by filling np the jar with
hot water, (it used not be scalding hot,)
and then stirring in a teaspoonfull or
more of pearlash. Whatever of the for:
mer contents has remained sticking upon
the sides and bottom of the jar will im
mediately be seen to disengage itself,
and float loose through the water,—Then
empty the jar at once, and if any of the
former odor remains about it, fill it again
with warm water;and let it stand undis
turbed a few hours, or till nest day ;
then empty it again, and rinse it out
with cold water. Wash phials in the
same manner. Also the inside of ket
tles, or anything which you wish to puri
fy of clear from grease expeditiously and
completely. If you cannot conveniently
obtain pearled', the same purpose may
be answered nearly as well by filling the
vessel with strong ley, poured off clear
from the wood ashes. For kegs, buck
ets, crocks, or other ,
vessels, ley may be
GIVE THE BOYS A ClIANCE.—'One of
the boys " argues his case very perti
nently, as follows, in the Ploughman :
Yes, Mr. Editor, give us boys a
chance. It is better for us to till a
patch of ground, or take care of fowls,
than to gamble on a small scale for mar
bles, or lounge round the grocery store.
Besides, we like it better; we think
more, and have more ambition ; and we
also learn to love work. and love aril.
"A pair of rabbits or pigeons, or hens
or a lamb, will keep the bands and brain
busy. Then a little ground to raise
strawberries, corn or potatoes, will help.
We try little experiments upon it ; de
termine the best variety of the potatoe,
and.decide between the kinds of straw
berries ; then, with live stock,` we see
whether to give tho fowls-corn or dough,
or learn bow much hay will fatten a
sheep. Thus, by and by we shall know
about the science of farming and also
"Yea, by all means give us a chanc,e,
for one generation quickly succeeds
another, and if we do not learn to be
useful, pray who will be useful by and
tlEir A young man in - Newport, Vt.,
wanted a wife hadly.and** a young
lady out to ride. Alter - proceeding a
few miles, le asked he, " Will you' 121 ar
ry me ?" The answer as short as it was
sweet, " No, air ?" Young gent says :
"Well, get out, and go horns afoot then."
The young lady accepted his advice and
reached home in safety.
Betting it immoral ; but - how cep the
men who bete be - Wine the one
who if; DO better
A SEO2IIH GIRL RECONSTRUOTEM—A
young woman, possessed
. of a fine person
and property, a member of one of the
oldest and most fashionable families in
South Carolina, became engaged to a
young man in her own grade in life, who
was a major in the rebel service, and
was to marry him at the termination of
the war if he survived. If he did not,
she was to remain ever true to her vows,
and, being a Catholic, had promised to
enter a convent and become only the
bride of heaven. They were a model
pair of lovers, and all wbo knew them
believed that they were the embodiment
ofpoetry, tenderness and devotion to
each other; that they lived what bards
had sung and romances had described.
They were like two blossoms on one
stem—a planet and its ray. As usually
happens, fate frowned on their felicity,
and, jealous of their love, cut the mate
rial cloud of the Major's being at Fort
Wagner. Eloisa was mad with grief,
and inconsolable forevermore, Her par
ents believed that she could not and
would not live; and that if she did, she
would be reft of reason, Months passed.
Charleston .fell. Columbia wail threat.
ened. Eloise remained. She was
anxious to be Plain by the barbarians
who had murdered lover; The
Union forces arrived'; hiithad something
else to doplin kill women, and Eloise
;survived - in - spite of herself. She heard
'the regiment was in town that had
charged upon the' battalion' led by her
beat loved, and she determined to see
the colonel and denounce him as the
slayer of her prince and peace. Eloise
saw him, and had a tremenduous scene.
The colonel was gallant and handsome ;
and when the fair girl thundered, as all
her sex do at first, and then rained, he
was touched and interested in the un
known woman. Me comforted and con
soled her, realizing the truth of the idea
that the heart is never so susceptible to
anew attachment as when It is recover
ing from an old one. In four weeks she
had learned to love the Yankee savage,
and expressed her willingness to be his ;
while ho was resigned, as most men are,
to be worshiped by her, if she were bent
on any such folly. They were tnamo
in spite of the anathemas of all her rela.
firms and friends, and are now in
WHY GERMAN WOMEN Buss Glom>
Virivss.--The culinary art forms a part
of the education of the women in Ger.
many. The well•to do tradesman, like
the mechanic, takes pride in seeing his
daughteiegood'housekeepers. To effect
this objeciAitesirl, on leaving school,
which she Nes, when about fourteen
years of age, goes through the ceremony
of confirmation, and is then placed by
her parents with a country clergyman,
or in a large family, where she remains .
one or two years, filling what may almost
be termed the post of servant, and doing
the work of one. This is looked upon
as an apprenticeship to domestic econo
my. She differs from a servant, howev
er, in this, she receives no wages ; on
the contrary, her parents often pay for
the care taken of her, as well as for her
This is the first step in her education
of housekeeper. She nest passes, on the
same conditions, into the kitchen of a
private family, or into that of some ho
tel of good repute. Here she has con
trol aftthe expenditure, and of the ser
vants employed in it, and assists person.
ally in the cooking, but ie always ad
dressed as Fraulein, or Miss, and is
treated by the family with deference and
consideration. Many daughters of rich
families receive a similar training, with
this difference, however, that they re
ceive it in a princely mansion or a royal
residence. There is a reigning. Queen
in Germany at the present moment who
was trained in this way. Consequently
the women in Germany are perfect mod
ele of order and economy.
ar A justice, in an eastern town, bet•
ter versed in law than gospel, not long
since married a couple in this manner :
" Hold up your hands. Yon solemnly
swear that you will faithfully perform
the duties of your office, jointly and Bev.
orally, according to, your best skill and
judgement, so help you God. That's all
—fee one dollar." This is almost as la.
conic as the Custom House : "Take off
your hat, hold np low bands, sohelp,you
godaquaeter." We remembeconee an
swering to the following formula : on
swear tbat's , true, by God," administered
by a notary public.
.for & young lady whooo fother'is im
proving the farriiiy-manaion, insists ElPoo
having wheatt-unotivip -put to for her