The Mariettian. (Marietta [Pa.]) 1861-18??, December 02, 1865, Image 1

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eaifing & eoluinbilt
TRAINS of this road run by Reading Rail
Rued lime, which is ten minutes faster
tun teat of Pennsylvania Railroad.
n" A. M.—Mail Passenger train fo
7:UU Reading and intermediate stations
canaceting at Lankisville, daily, except Mon
day, with Elie Express of P. R. R. reaching
Philadelphia at 10:30 in the morning ; leaving
Alanheim at 7:41 ; Litiz at 7:54 ; Ephialit
8:23 Reinholdsville at 8:60; Sinking Springs
at 9:10 ; and arriving at Rt ading at 9:35 a. in.
At lleadingeonnection is made with Fast Ex
press train of East Pennsylvania Rail Road,
reaching New-York at 2:30 P. M. with train
of Philadelphia and Reading Railroad, reach
ing Philadelphia at 12:45 p. m., and also with
trains for Pottsville, the Lebanon Valley and
I) fur Reading aad intermediate sta
tisna, connecting at Landisville at 2:50 P. M.
with Express trains of Penn's. R. R., both
East and West, leaving Manheim at 3:26; Litiz
3 :41; Ephrata at 4:10 ; Reinholdeville 4:37;
Sinking Springs 6:03 and arriving at Reading
at 2:20 P. M. At Reading con nection is made
with trains for Pottsville and Lebanon Valley.
6.10 t A 'o r Columbiaa B n B if . t G t e E r m R ed i a T t A s l t a N
was, leaving Sinking Springs at 6 26; Rein
licsdoille at 6 04, Ephrata at 7 21, Litiz at
7 14, Manheim at 8 08, making connection at
Landisville with train pf Penn's Railroad,
reaching Lancaster at 8:33 A M. and Phila
delphia at 12:30 ; arriving at Columbia at 9
o'clock, A. Al., there connecting the Ferry for
Wrightsville and Northern Central Railroad,
at 11:45 A. M.with train of Penn'a. Railroad
for the West.
Passenger ate T s r t a a i t n io f n o s r
6 i n te r met
with passengers leaving New- York at 12 M.,
and Philadelphia at 3:30 P. M., leaving Sink
ing Springs at 6:31 ;
Iteinholdsville 6:56'; Eph
rata 7:20 Litiz 7:4S Manheim 8:03 ; connec
ting at Landisville with an Express train of
the P. It. It. for Lancaster and Philadelphia,
reaching Philadelphia at 11:30 p. on. and ar
riving at Columbia at B:SJ P. 1,4.
jr.?The Ni asure Travel to Ephrata and
Luz springs Irom New-York, Philadelphia,
lialiimare and other points, is by this schedule
accommodated several times per day with Ex
press trains connecting in all directions.
f• Through tickets to New-York, Phila
delphia and Lancaster sold at principal sta
ins. Fraight carried with utmost promt
est and dispatch, at the lowest - rates. .
Further information with regard to Freight
or puaseuge, may be obtained from the ageutt
of the Company.
Isl EN DES COVEN, Superintendent.
E. F. K EEV ER, General Freight and Tiel, ea
'1 Family and an Agricultural Journal,
of the largest and handsomest
Dr. oted to choice Literature, including Po
etry, Novelettes, Tales, moral and entertain
log reading generally. In the Literary. ,depart
meld We shall present the choicest varieties
4itloh the reach of eur extendedmeans, The
Novelettes, Tales. Poetry, &c., shall he sup
plied (lain the best and highest solutes, and
be equal to anything to be found in` any jour
nal or magazine,
Agriculture an cl Horticulture embracing
Fanning Cardening, Fruit raising, &c.. Our
labors in this department for over thirty years,
have inet the cordial approbation of the pub
lir. Our purpose has •bet ai to-furnish useful
and rehab!. information on these very impor-.
lam branches of industry,-and-to protect them
On far LOS within our pow e: -against the false
doctrines and selfish purposes of the many'
einiarirs and sensation adventurers by which
the hillier is incessantly assailed. This por
tion of the G ERMANTOWN TELE.O B. A PH
is alone worth the whole price of subiOdPt ion.
Nl)Ei'A RTM t.—The lame industry,
cart and discriminatiOn, in gathering and pre
paring the Stitring „Events of the Day,expres
for this paper, which hitherto has been one
of its !narked featinea Slid' given so universal
satisfaction, mill be continued with redoubled
Of , its to meet the increasing demand of the
TERMS :—Two-Dollars and Fifty Cents per
4111 unn. No orders received without the cash,
alai all subscriptions stopped at tht end of the
'Ono paid for. Address,
Editor and Proprietor,
Geirnantown, Pa.
Oct. 21.31.1
8. R H. T. ANTHONY # .CO.,
nanufacturers of Photographic lliater4l,
vamanic AMT. Anzrev. ' • • •
odden to our main bathos& of PIifiTUURAL
TM AL m S, we ere headquarters for the foih mfi .lblh" PHl -
Stereoscopes and Stereoscopic violin.
Of they we here an Impose malOrsM4o, intin4lAr
Obtained at great expenso end forming comply.'
4411 RtUir • Dutch Gap, •
oktow, Pontoon Trains.
Gettysburg Hanover Julation:
Fair Oaks, Lookout Mountain,
Savage Station, ChickahornirlYs
Zredeieksburgh, City Point.
Deer Bottom,
Holton!, Bello Plain,
Fort Morgan, •
C harleeton Atlanta,
Florida, - •
Aotzczo !Lod F eran l eiller and Lendsoß *o.
pee, Grope, Bites
if 447 . Olu‘g4Zat i t=te li f7=l :p re lst p :
we PhlngpaPhig Whiling.
10,n flot to introduro Woe Into the United Meta.
141LPFAroe4mmultmeri.,Trtz:, nn
otit .. l 2 l ,lerier In haunt ' ' , end &robing/ go =7 °dm.'"
t0 ..z 7z1 1, FR 4 E on remipt of mica
° Tr ade will find our " Albuma the most
Saleable they can bny.
tbs c i, & our 1 11 0 w onbrarea over Frye TOOLMAND different
' lT m Ajorro l
.„741:0=ordinuelly being made) of &mi
re 4°,14 100 Lied-Cele 630Stteernello "
230 e th er °trireme, 130 Divine.,
•0044,., 76 Nary oMcers, 111 Author;
Icrledll Stage, 50 Prominent Women.
tquollot IFO*Poirtrbfet°o:l'coeflett‘tbed Earn . vin g . '
ift44;7'lle...ixtr..r, F4ttlegur ' rent on reeript sr gt
545:;11 1 4111 / i 8 , 0 . ImeXt Ty m tgll, C = g""
end or:rah:W.:4' c7rlller!deau
P end quality of our goo& cannot fait to WHO.
rlt tuber 30, .865'
ell a NIP A(1 isl 1.1 and other' Table"
v a.york.
g a intanteed to he pure, and'aold
call be boughtin Philadelphia or
! firNyAn uit4ins.
Tkr - ar'4.i:,,-,_...,:i:,::.,..:'-.-,4/11,
Qffice in " LINDSAY'S BUILDING, " second
floor; on Elbow Lane. between the Post
o,ffice Corner and Front-St.; Marietta,
Lancaster County, Pennsylv ania.
.lines, or less) 75 cents for the first insertion and
One Dollar and-a-half for 3 insertions. Pro
[mtional and Business cal de, of six lines or less
at 65 per annum. Notices in the reading, col
umns, ten cents a-line. Marriages and Deaths,
the simple announcement, FREE ; but for any
additional lines, ten cents a line.
A liberal deduction made to yearly and half
yearly advertisers. -
Having just added a " NEWBURY MOON
rant JOBBER PRESS," together with a large
assortment of new Job and Card type, . Cuts,
Borders, &c., &c., to the Job Office of " THE
MARIETTIAN," which will insure the Ine and
speedy execution of all kinds of Jon & CARD
PRINTING; from the smallest Card-to the
LARGEST POSTER, at reasonable prices.
G OLD? [1865, 1866, 1.867.] SILVER!
1 TO 75,0001
S2l S 2 1 S 2 "_I
Two Z)..11a - rs 1
One of our Gold or Silver Watches, or
Silver Tea Sets for $2, as below stated.
One of our tea sets or one piece of our Gold or
Silverware is worth a bushel of the cheap dol
lar Jewelry.
We have adopted the following mode of
by sale. of 75,000 artielea.of valui !
The articles of goods are numbered from 1
up to 75,000 37,500 consisting of Pianos,
Melodeons, Gold and Silver Watches, Sewing
Machines, Tea and Table sets, Solid Silver
'Tea and Table Spc:ons and Forks. - etc, etc. ;
and the other 37,500 articlei of valuab;e Jew
elry, Work and Toilet cases, Photograph Al
bums, Openface Silver Watches, anfancy ar
ticles in great variety. 75,000 notices num
bered from 1 to 75;000 are printed and put in
to sealed envelopes and well mixed, and ono
of these is taken out and sent to the person
sending to us 25 eta to cover expense of post
age, correspondence, etc., and, the article or
goods, cortespOuding with the number on the
notice will be sent to the holder Of the sane
immediately. (if he desires to purchase the
article yon the receipt of two dollars. For
instance.--lf the number on the notice sent
to you should be 500, and a Piano, or Diamond
Set or Gold Watch should be numbered 500 it
will be sent to you for $2, and so on for every
article in our list of 75,000 articles.
its After receiving the Article, if it does
not please you, you can return it, and your
money shall be refunded.
Twenty-five ceuts-must be sent to psi. ex
pense of postage, cor esptindence, etc., on one
Remember, that whamver article corres
ponds with the number on your notice, you
can have it by paying Two ; Dollars fsr it,
whether it be worth $lOO or $BOO. Add- it is
for our interest to deal` fairly, and Send out
our fine articles, as it gives confidence ,to the
public, and the - eby increases our sales.
Upon receipt of-2.sveedtitrixftiiCel3i.frfor
cortespondence, postage, etc. we send one no
Upon receipt of $1 which pays for corres
pondence. postage, etc., we send six notices.
Upon receipt of $5, which pays for, corres
pondence, postage, etc, we send 40 notices,
and a fine present, valued at no less thar4ls,
114 a sample of our goods.
Upon receipt of $lB, which pays for cones
poodence, postage, etc., we will send 150 no
tices, and a solid Silver Watch, by return mail.
Agents Wanted. Send for our circular !
Agents allowed a large cash commission,
by which they can make $25 weekly.
Address plainly,
Biz. 5138, eve . York City, N:
Salesroom, 34 Liberty St. [3m.
o O do l i Di
spe m t r n e g
i the citizens take this ensofbla m ri et et h t ' a
and the public in general, that, having laid in
a lot of seasoned Lumber, is now prep&ted to
manufactufe all kinds of
in•every style and variety, at short notice.
He has on hand a lot of. Furniture of hiti own
manufactu,e, which for fine finish and good
workmanship, will rival any City •make.
LI Especial attention paid to repairing.
He is also now prepared to-atteud, : in all its
branches the.UNDERTAKING business, be
ing supplied with an excellent-Hence, large
and small Biers, Cooling Box, dm.
113" COFFINS finished in any style—plain
or costly. . •
Ware Ronm and Manufactory. near Mr.
Duffy's new building, near the "Upper-Sta
ion," Marietta, Pa. [Oct. 22.
FFICE:—Front street, next door to R.
LJ Williams' Drug Store, between Lociut
end Walnut streets, Columbia.
' OFFICE :—No. 24 Matra DUKE SmEnT
opposite the Court House;where at
tend •to the practice of .hia piofession in all ite
virious branchee.
A CHOICE Lot of Books for chililre
iiadratructrOlee Ineasureßook . s.; School and'
IL - at . DR. RINKLE'S.
lirtage . 6tut tionsgibania for tke Monte .
[The following js the celebrated song
which created'such intense excitement
throughout Great ,, Britaim and for the
incorporation of which in hia piece, Mr.
Boncitipiatii play of "Arrah lift Pogue
had,tli'tWwitlidrawn from the London
Oh Paddy, dear, and did you hear
The'pows that's going round
The Shamrock is forbid bylaw to
Grow On Irish ironed.
No more St. Patrick's day well keep,
The color can't be seen,
For there's a bloody war against the
Wearing of the, green., .
I met with Nappy Tender, and he took
Me by the
And be said, "Bowes poor ould Ireland,
Andhow does she stand V'
She's the most•dietressful country that
Ever you have seen;
They're hanging men And women there
Wearing of the green."
Then since the color we must wear is
England's cruel red,'
Sure Ireland's sons will nieer forget the
Blodd that they have shed,
You may take the Shamrock from your
And cast it on the sod ;
It will take root and flourish there,
Though underfoot it's trod.
Wheithe law can keep the blades of
"From growing as they, grow,
And when , the leaves in summer time
Their verdure dare , net show,
Then I will change the color
I wear in my caubeep ;
But till that day, please God, I'll stick
To wearing of the green !
But if at last the color should -
Be torn from Irelaid's heart,
Her sous with shame and sorrow from
The dear old soil will part.
I've heard whispers of a country
That lies beyond the sea,
Where rich and poor stands equal in
The light of freedom's day.
'Oh ! Erin must we leave you, driven
By the tyraut's hand !
Must we ask a mother's welcome from
A strange, but happier land Y
Where the cruel cross , of England's
And where, thank God! we'll liv'e and '
Still wearing of,the grien I
TROUBLE WITH A gRceii.EAR. appears
that the Town Council and Burgess of
Girard, Erie county, are in trouble with
Dan Rice, concerning the monument
lately erected in I:let „the lat“
ter. Before that memorial was accepted
by the borough authorities,..,Rice.stipu
lated that no, inscription other tbßolhat
necessary to commemorate the soldiers, i
should be placed thereon. This:fact- is
of record Q 0 the; minutes , of the Town
Council. After its erection andaccept
ance, Rice had the shaft inscribed with
his own name, sccas commemorate
theliving as a clown as well as the dead
'Whams. This violation of faith on
the part of the 'jester has given great
diesatisfaction to the people of Erie
sir A. singular death has•bekemthe la
test sensation at 13e'rian., - Bahler, a
dog fancier, bad trailed a number ca
nines to perfoni all kinds of curious
tricks, but'wbireinithicting them,
most horrible ' cruelty. A. few
weeks since, while he was unmercifully
beating a small dog, who either would
not or could not do what he was told,
one of the largest, ,as though. inspired
by a human resentment in behalf of his
feebler.compaoion, sprang upon-the man
and throttled him. This incident de
serves a - place in the annals of the ca
nine efiecies.
air Mr. Bernard Eisenbuth. of Potts
ville, is 109 years old.
.He was born on
the 10th of May,-1157, in that section
of Pennsylvania now contained within
the boundaries of Lebanon county: In
Reading a Mrs. Hannah Forn well resides
.who, in NOvember, was 100 years old.
She is still in good health. - She has had
.25 children, but five of wham are now
er The gay young wife of an Albany
perk packer last week persuaded her
husband to draw from a bank a large
sum belonging to the firm, of whith he
was a junior paitner, and start with her
for iurope, one. °lllectbeing , to vanish
hex: husband's father, the other Member
of the firm, who had opposed ber frivol
ities. She was overhauled in New Yprk
and the contemplated trip was postpon
- 131titUTY Ix WONEN.-A beautifullace
and figure are the two things h a,wom
an that first attract the .attention of .a
man. The second is fine taste, both in
dress and habits, end the third, is emo
tion genie. What , a man most dislikes
in a lady ie untidiness,, elovenly habits
and affectation. There is,a medium be
tween prudery and relaxed, behavior,
which a man' appreciates almost by in,
stinct. Place WWI of genial disposi
tion, With a disengaged heart, In ,the
society of a woman of beauty, sense and
spirit—not too much of the latter—and
the chances are of immediately falling
desperately in love. The poor wretch
cannot avoid it, and is his fanatic effort
to escape he fails on his , knees at her
feet and avows the might and majesty ,
of herbeauty.- All you have to do will
be ,to_treat the poor fellow as kindly as
you can, and Make no, effort to- please
him. -Let nature have her own wise
way, and depend upon it, you will be
fondly praised to tie warm bosom of
some generous hearted fellow.
Some. Englishmen lately visited the
summer palace of the King of Sweden
at Steekholin, and were shown - over the
apaiements at their request by a man
whom they found seated on a bench in
the court yard. The Englishmen began
to tell anecdotes of the King, and de
mended if they were true. The guide, a
model of disdretion, said so many stories
were told of his Illejesty—some trae,
some false=that it was difficult for him
to say - what was correit, and that as he
was connected with the royal houtiehold,
it was not for him to say. The English
men begged pardon - for theik • curiosity,
and it , was ,heartily granted. At last,
after they had leen' every thing,' they
took leave of their guide and. thanking
him for his courtesy, e.apreseed their .
gret that they had not seen Charles XV.
The guide`raised his hat, and saluting
them gracefully, said, " I am the King,"
and then left the Englishmen not a little
MANNERS.—" Make it a point of
mortality," says a writer, "never to find
fault with another for his manners, He
may be awkward or graceful, blunt or
polite, polished or rustic,
, I care not.
what le`ify,•iPthe man means well, and ,
acts from honest int without ec..
:centricity or affectation. All men have
..not the advantage' of tocki iiiniety,' as
it is called, to school themselves in all .
its fantastic ;ulna and coromotdes,"and.if
_there is any.standard ofAlintiere,_ it is
„well founded on,reason, and good sense,
.and not upon 'these artificial:regulations.
Ildanders, like conversation, is OX tem por.
spoons, and not studied. suspect a
`Pion who Trieste me wilhAhn
• eSiOe per
Petudl smile on hie face, - . .tlie same bend
fOriff the Body; and the same . ptemedi
tate& Alike of theiland: :Give me the.
hearty—it may be rough—grip of the
hand,.the, careless nod or.recognition.
and, when ,occasion requiren; - tbe.homely
but welcome salutation ' how are you,
my old friend ?"
A WIRE' LANDLORD.—Oue night a
judge; a military`officer, and a Minister,
all applied for lodging at an inn where
-there was but one .opire• bed, and the
landlord- Was calledf upon` •to 'decide
which had the.beat•claim of the three.
" I have laid fifteen yearblii the 'gar
rison at B." sai.d„tho,PlEle_9l%
" I have sat. &judge, 6,lyen.ty years. in
said the judge - .
" With your leave, gentlemen, Lhave
stood in the ministry twenty-fiveyeare
at N." said 'the minister.
"'That settles the diorite," said the
"You, Mr. Captain, have laid fifteen
yeara--you,.Mr. Judge; have eat twenty
years—but,the aged pastor - has stood
five aufl.twenty-years; and 80410 has tthe
best right,to the 'bed:"
AN Itiruirrnouvr Boy,..L."ltieter, how
do you sell beet this morning?"
"Why, twenty-five cents, a pound ;
how much will pint bevel" a -
"Twenty-fits cents; eh? have you g,ot
a heart, air ?"
"No just sold it,"
" just knowed• that you
couldn't hive a heart, and az twenty.
five cents a 'round for 'beef; I'm sorry
you sold it, 'cause rd like to have Semi
moat." , • - •
The late elections may be hummed np
as,bavlog sent General. Kilpatrick to
Chili, General Logan to Mexico°, and:
Monty" Blairtp thn
"Sall, what time , doeii4otifolks dine'?"
"Soon as you goes;.that'S - missus'
Front the Lancaster Evening Express
Life 'at a - Water Cure.
YOur readers who'have heard of "Our
Maio," a hygienic inititntion in' Cen
- tray New York,' will bp interested to
learn more of theltication, management,
and success of 'that iistitation. With
the object in view of inaking some 'per
sonal olieerVaiiiins, I went there lately,
and after a sojotein of , several days, have
become confirmed'in the opinion, that
it combines more of the dements curative
than any other "infirmary or health re-
storing institution in the country.
"Our - Home," for such it has been ap
propriately called for ‘ the home comforts
it affords, is lcicated on the slope of a
maintain near Danaville, Livingston
county, NeW York, six miles distant
from Wayland, on the Buffalo branch of
the Erie Railroad. Just back of the
buildings the mountain clad in its prim
itive forest; rises to the height or five
hundred feet; from out of its aide wish
atreakie of pure limpid Water, that roll
sad leap down over projecting, craggy
rocks, singing wild antheme until they
are diverted from their courses to serve
in - tie cn'ratiiii arid culinary. In
the foreground a lawn extends down
the slope several hundred feet, until it
rests by the side, of the village - street,
and then expands north and south, em
bracing. many acres that are tastefully
laid out , in graveled, olks and beautified
with groves of trees, clumps of shrub
bery and neatly ornamented cottages.
Beyond these grounds, to the west, a
large fertile plot strete.4ea into , the val
ley, and is appropriated to the produc
tion of vegetables, while to the eastward.
several acres in vineyard, yields an au- .
to harvest for the use of the pa-
In the basin of the valleythe village
is situated,-and beyond-it-rise it condo"-
'roes chain of gently eloping hills,- that
away to their crest• bear the refreshing
imprint of a_ thrifty.busbandry. A, pure
and bracing atmosphere surrounds • the
institution, it being at an altitude above
the malaria - that may be genefitted in
the valley beneath.
The buildings are comModious and
conveniently arranged, with accOnimo
dations for three - hundred-patients, and
generally well' System ' most
'thorough and complete pervades all of
its internal arrangedclots, every hour of
the day has its duties ; no time being
,given to slide,into, the t blueslfrom doll
monotony., At 6 n' • tho ! morn-,
tog the-gong ariecti at, 7 'it
gives notice to assemble in fAherty.
Hall, a fine Gothic structure, connected,
with the main buildings' by, a covered
passage way, enabling feeble patients to
attend the lectures or prayer_ meetings
(which are held daily), without exposure
to inclement :weather. Those too feeble
to - walk are- conveyed in hand" chritiots,
.and furnished with cOnches tb reeline
on. The lectures, are'lielivered` chiefly
by Jas. U. Jackson, the - phy
sician, whose fertile mind-neverlags in
presenting intereatibg ..and instructive
elucidations of the laws •
of life. At ' 8
o'clock the gook calls to breakfast.
The tables are Aiiicied in i to sections,
- and the seats numbered. A new allot
iof seats CS Aide weekly, _ for the
piirPose:oi l making ' pew associations at
the table, and increasing the
of the patients._ At 10- o'clock treat
ment commences, and continues until 12
o'clock. In this department the ar
rangements are- most admirable - -each
patient draws a rinnibe - r and receives the
treatment prescribed for him, without
the least confusion- or apprehension - of
neglect. At 12 o'clock, the 'sounding
of thelongrgived notice for all to- retire
to bed or into theirromils forrn idriay rest ,
and quiet the hilist profound sets I
in; and reigns until 1 o'clock, when
the gong again sounds, and is soon fol
lowed' by the glee of:t4errY; , all _
is 'then life and stir each patient, seek
ini the largist measure _ of enjoyment
until 3 o'clock, when-dinner is. announ
ced. After a bounteous •feast deavn
from- the choicest gifts' of earth, and un
marred by aught that is slain 'Of beast
or fowl or fish; they convene'in-the par
lor for a distribution of. the wail ; that
over, several hours are spent 'in amuse
ments, pedestrian 'exercise and
~ social
conversation. At 7i o'clock notice is
sounded to retire; , end at 8 the voices.
before so j , abilant are hushed, and in
the stillness of - thldnisbt that pravaibr i
all seek that sweet refreshing-:sleep so
Avis .tioxe • at, thiti
Swiftly on, each stoceeding day tislirliiist
iiiiilistakable progress isealthward in, all
curable cases. Nor is it surprising that
VOL. XII.-NO. 17.
"Our Home" is, in every respect, a suc
cessful hygienic institution, inasmuch as
every condition essential to the improve
ment of patients is assiduously attended
to.• ,Their• bodily infirmities receive
epeeist attention, through an able and
experienced faculty, and their spiritual
and mental depressions are soothed and
brought into healthful activity, while
the home comforts and pleasing socia
bility, together with a diet exclusively
of fruit, grain, and vegetables. (produc
ing no stimulations or false condition)
combine and harmonize, not only in
cleansing the body of morbific obstruc
tions, but also in expanding and en
lightning the moral and spiritual nature
of the patients, so that when they depart
to mingle again in the struggles and
temptations of the world, they are ever
adinonished by an observing intellect,
to obey the laws of their being --to live
temperately and discard all evil habits,
lest they should again suffer the penalty
of disobedience. This is an important
feature of this institution ; each - patient
is being educated while being restored
to health ; 'unclean habits' are cast sway,
and a new life upon a higher plain is
entered into. The use of tobacco and
alcoholic drinks are not only forbidden
the patients, but are excluded entirely
-from the premises ; a notice over the
gateway forbids the use of tobacco by
visitors while there. Temperance in
things - usable, and total abstinence from
things unwholesome, are the mottoes
ineulcated. In short, everything, from
the cordial reception of the visitor or
patient, on through every department,
there is such completeness that none
Can go their . ° without being delighted,
and if suffering, greatly benefitted t B. S.
MArtirrrA; Nov. 23, 1865.
Stuff for Smiles
A. little fellow gulag into a chinch
for the first time, were the pews were
very high, was asked, on coming out,
What he did in church, when he replied :
" I went into a cupboard and took a
seat on the shelf."
A lady's " water-fall "is not only
ornamental, but -can, on occasions, be
made useful. When the guerrillas rob
bed the railway train at North Bend,
Ohio, one of the-ladies "did up " a nice
gold watch, two diamond rings, eat rings
and 42,000 in' her hair, and saved the
Jones, while lately engaged in sphtt
,ing wood, struck a false blow, causing
the'stick to fly up. It struck him on
the-jaw and• knocked out a front tooth.
"Ah," said Bill meeting him soon after
"yon have lad a dental operation per
formed, I see." "Yea," replied the suf
ferer, "ax idental."
Old. Gantlewan (affectionately): "My
son, why do you chew that filthy tobac
co? Precocious youth (stilly). To get
the juice of it, old codger.
The best description of weakness we
have ever heard is the wag's query to
his wife, when she gave him some chick
en broth, -if she would not try to coax
that chicken just to wade through the
soup 'once more.
When a BaltiMore lady is kissed, she
'says she . feals as though she was taking
chloroform, and remains insensible as
long as the operation lasts.
A judge in Indiana threatened to fine
a lawyer for eontempt of court. " I have
expressed no contempt for the court,"
said the lawyer; "on the contrary, I
have 'carefully concealed my feelings."
An itinerant preacher,
.who rambled
in his sermons, when requested to stick
to his text, replied " . that scattering
shot would hit the most birds."
A Greekmaid, being asked what for
tune she would bring her husband, re
plied : " I will bring him. what gold can
not purchase—a heart unspotted, a vir
tue without stain, which is all that de
scends to me from my parents."
Babies resemble wheat in many re
spects.' Firstly, neither are good, for
much till they arrive at maturity : sec
ondly, both are bred in the house, and
are also the flower of the family; third
ly both have to be cradled; fourthly,
both are generally well thrashed before
they are done with.
Charles Lamb, when a little boy, walk
ing with his sister in a-cher is h-yard, and
reading the epitaphs, said , : to her :
" Where -are all the-tittn.ty people bur
ied 2"
° What is the difference between a Nor
thairi -and - a , Southern . gentleman ? One .
blacks his own boots and the other boots
his own black (That was before the