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BY FRED'K L BAKER.
I' ONE DOLLAR AND A HALF A YEAR,
PA FABLE IN ADVANCE.
97Ce to " LINDSAY'S BUILDING," second
floor, on Elbow Lane, between the Post
ogice Corner and ont-St.,. Marietta,
Lancaster County, Penn Sylvania.
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Effalt ,ffor. eau
'he hearth is swept—the tire is bright,_
The kettle singe for tea ;
ne cloth is spread—the lamp is bright,
rhe white cakes smoke in napkins white,
And now I wait for thee.
Come, come, love, home, thy task is
The dock ticks listeningly,
The blinds are shut—the curtoins down,
The warm chair to the fireside drawn,
The boy is on my knee.
Como home, love home, hie deep, food
Looks around him wistfully,
And whoa the whispering winds go by,
As if thy welcome step was nigh,
Ile crows exultingly.
In vain—he finds the welcome vain,
And tarns his glance on mine,
So earnestly, that yet again
llis form into my heart I strain,
That glance is so liko thine.
Thy task is done we miss thee here,
Whore'er thy footsteps' roam,
No heart will spread such kindly cheer,
No heating heart, no listening ear,
Like those who wait thee home.
Ab, now along the crisp walk fast
That well known step cloth come,
The bolt is drawn, the gate is past,
The babe is wild with joy at last,
A thousand welcomes home.
FORCED UNANIMITY IN JURY TRIALS
One of the reasons given out by the ad
vocates of military trials'in place of the
ordinary proceedings by the law courts
is, that juries as at present constituted
are unreliable. Not, indeed, that the
citizens who compose these juries are
untrustworthy in the mass, but because
ourjnryeystem requires unanimous agree
ment by the jury. It is said that a
tingle man who is obstinate, wrong-head
corrupt or disloyal, may bring about the
escape of an undoubted traitor, murder
er or other felon, if he stands out against
the other eleven. Apdrt from jts aplic
ability to the preilent times, this objec
tion it worthy of consideration as affect
lag the whole administration of justice.
It is questionable whether this unani•
Inoue verdict, which is attributable , to
the jealous care of the English Consti
tution over the rights of the subjects,
does not too often liberate the criminal.
or do wrong to the suitor, at the expense
of society. In some of the States three
fourths of the jury—that is nine out of
the twelve—are competent to find a
verdict, and so it should be everywhere.
Ibn M. P., who owned extensive
estates, and possessed considerable per
sonal celebrity, was spending a few days
at the residence of a noble family.
There were several interesting and ac
complished young ladies in the family,
to whom the honorable member, ae in
duty bound, showed every atteition.
Just as he was about to take• leave, the
nobleman's wife proceeded to 'consult
him in a matter which, she alleged, was
caning her no little distress. "It is re_
ported," said the Countess, "that you
are to marry my daughter L.—; and
what shall we do Y what shall we say
about it 2" "Oh," quietly responded
the considerate M. P., "just Bay she re
filled me I"
The Claremont (N. H.) Advo
cate says a lady in Unity, notion' since
became the mother of a fine daughter.
few days after, a copperhead neigh
,4 in, said to the mother,
Wl, I suppose you will call it Abe
T ' in e° l s: 'No' she replied, sorry
Cas't, Like your friend Jeff. it will
wear petticoats 1.1 Copperhead vamous-
d: I'2 1 - .111
,A tuft 4:1T.-,
Read at the Commencement of the Stale
Normal School, Millersville, Pa.,
BY MISS MARY L. DUNN,
liaverford, Delaware County, Pa.
Oh 1 why is there written upon every
thing we love and cherish,—passing
away !" God in his infinite wisdom and
goodness, has created a beautiful world,
designed for man, and how well it is
adapted to his every want. Yes, our
earth is a sphere of beauty, a world of
loveliness, and but for the wickedness
of maq would be a paradise.
Wherever we look we see God mirror_
ed from all his works, at all times and
in all places; we see Him in the open.
iug buds of spring ; in the waving grain
of the harvest fields of summer r in the
decay that comes with the "melancholy
days of autumn "; and in dreary winter
clad in icicles, himear locks bound with
Nature has adorned her walls with
pictures from her- - Own skillful hands
more beautiful than the minds of our
greatest artists ever conceived and whose
hands could never attempt to trace lines
so perfect. Yet all this beauty, the
combined work., of God and man for
ages, is subject to change, will pass
away. That which now appears to us
so perfect, will in a few years be a de
What is immortal? We see a lovely
Hower, ,its tender petals loaded with
dewdrops sparkling as so many precious
diamonds as the first rays of the morn-.
ing sun fall gently upon it, and we call
it beautiful. .Behold the same again,
but the scorching rays of the noonday
sun have blighted, withered it ; let night
draw her sable curtain gently around it
for it is gone. It has fulfilled its mis
sion and has passed away.
With what emotions of pleasure we
gaze upon the beautiful bow which spans
the heavens, remembering that it is
God's "covenant of promise" given to
his people,—bis seal stamped on the
clouds ; but while we are thus gazing it
vanishes and where was once to be seen
one of nature's grandest pictures, is now
a blank, showing us the fickleness of
beauty that it
Is but a vain and doubtful good,
A shining gloss that fadeth suddenly;
A. flower that dies when first it begins
A brittle glass that's broken presently,
A doubtful good, a gloss, a glass, a flow
"Lost faded, broken, dead, within an hour.
Approach the couch of the afflicted ;
note the sunken eye, the pallid brow
and the laboring breath. Can you think
that but a few short weeks have" passed
since the smile upon that face' and the
light in that eye Were the brightest.
Not long ago health beat in every
pulsation ; but the blighting hand of
disease fell upon that young life and
now there need be but one more strug 7
gle and again we shall hear the solemn
words, "Dust to dust."
Enter the city of the dead, and look
for a moment at the monuments which
yonr own hands have raised. Here is
the tomb of one whose name is enshrin
ed in the great heart of a nation ; whose
noble deeds are recorded on the' pages
of history. Multitudes hung upon his
word as if spell bound and seemed to
think that so mighty an intellect was
imperishable ; but he too passed away
making room for others to fill his place.
A little farther on is the last resting
place of the father whose wise counsels
have proved a great blessing to you.
At his side lies the mother whose lov
ing smile and holy influence teem to be
ever with, you. Here too is the baby
sister, whose pure soul passed to its
maker, ere it had been tainted with sin.
You look at these graves, and'think how
many others, known in the days of yore,
are under the sod, and learn that to this
end all must come,—that the, graceful
forms and smiling faces of those we love,
are not immortal. All is. Uncertain.
After these reflections we are led to
direct our aspirations fowards the unfad
ing beauties and glories of another world'
—to the immortal.
In the present age of progress and
civilization it is the desire of all to gain
eminence, Men. constantly trying
to rise above their associates ; ambitious
to do some great-action, that they may
gain the applause of the world ; and
how very early this feeling is: awakened
in the soul I note the little child, as he
sits upon his father's knee. How his
countenance brightens, as he receives a
loving caress or smile of approval I • It
is truly a gift of God. •
Various are the paths that lead to re
nown. Some struggling through - life'to
4uttgenvtitt Vcratqlfnufia *mai fax tt burnt airtle.
MARIETTA, SATURDAY MORNLNG, AUGUST 12, 1865.
gain political power, determine to ob
tain a world wide fame regardless of all
principle thinking that in ail cases the
end, justifies the means. Some aim to
effect the advancement of Literature,
and their efforts are crowned with suc
cess, their names are written on the
scroll of fame and their
. memories clus
tered thick with flowers. But why is
this ? Fame, honor, and all earthly
glory are perishable ;
"The clond-capt tovers, the gorgeous
The solemn temples, the great globe it
Yea, all which it inherit, shall dissolve;
And like an insubstantial ptigeant faded
Leave not a rack behind."
What is immortal ? God has given
us a spirit, destined to live with him
through the ages of eternity, or to be
banished from his presence forever.
This life is but probationary ; given to
us to fit ourselves for those mansions
"eternal in the heavens," at whose door
we stand, waiting for the summons, to
join the caravan that moves to the pale
realms of shade ;—into the awful pres
ence of our God to receive our just re
We are to-day in the enjoyment of
good health, with glowing hopes for the
future with many plans:of enterprise for
after years. We may have happy homes
and kind friends; but there may come
to us to-morrow, some - great calamity,
which may destroy health, blast bright
hopes and desolate the loved home.
Past ages have ever shown the truth of
the words, "in this world all is vanity."
Countless generations of men have pass
ed to the grave, and we too will soon
give place to others.
How important that we rightly im
prove the opportunities afforded us, to
do the will of our Heavenly Father,
that when done with this earth, we may
be prepared to enter upon a new life.
Then will God open his book of remem
brance where will be written, not only
the thoughts and actions of the wicked,
but the good deeds of the Christian, his
kind words to a suffering brother ; there
between those precious lea - ves, shall
glisten, the tear "dropped for another's
woe." These will remain forever. What
is immortal? Naught save God, his re
cords and the soul of man ;L---yes,
"The soul of origin divine
God's glorious image freed from clay
In Heaven's eternal sphere, shall shine
A. star of-day.
The sun is but a spark of tire
A transiekt meteor in the sky,
The soul immortal as its sire
Shall never die."
A COMMON COMPLAINT.-011 a through
night-train, between Washington and
New York, just before election, a little
incident occurred, which is perhaps
worthy of perpetuation. A young man,
part sailor and part civilian, blended
with a certain dash of the , soldier, .ap
peared and took a seat in'the vicinity of
a whiskey-loving Hibernian, who had
been inflicting upon his fellow-passen
gers his own exceeding superiority with
regard to politics, etc.
Everybody-had grown tired hearing
him declare they were all a set of "spal
peens," whom an Irishman must come
"across the say to twat ;" and several
had mildly requested him to "dry up I"
But he, was pretty quick, and succeeded,
by use of his ludicrous phraseology, in
coming oat ahead of them all, and get
ting the laugh on his side.
Finally, this civilian,soldier, sailor, or
what not—one of those quick-eyed, in
telligent, but still fellows, with long
faces, and a reserved but respectful dig
nity, which one occasionally meets in
the world, left his seat—just in front
and nearly opposite the voluble Irish
man—and walked quietly to the door.
The Irishman sang out to him—
"lSay, Surgeon, duz you blave there's
anything more'n ginerol the matter uv
The "surgeon" stoppedjurned quick
ly round, and looked Irishy in 1:he•
withhisiow'n bright OptiOs, for nearly
half a minute, when he replied, and
`Yes; you are troubled with chronic
Molly was "wound up" completely,
while all in the car came down with an
immense "gpffah I"
W A. dandy, remarking one summer
day that the weather was so excessively.
hot that when be: put his bead into a
basin of water it_fairly boiled, received
for a "
reply,—Tn,sir, lon hive a
Cave's head soup at very littlevpeuse."
i fir` Mon oe, Michigan, iaettid to have
eighty,-two marrigeable girie; - and -only
three single men.
The Wrong Man in the Wrong Place
Are people to blame me for what is
unavoidable.? That is a question I
should be happy to have solved to my
own satisfaction and the, satisfaction of
others. Once.l had no doubt on- the
subject ;, but, now, judging from what
has happened to me, my opinion is some
' It was entirely foreign froiinV inten
gen to create a sensation, or enact a de
ception, when I packed my - carpet bag,
last week and donned my best to visit
my. Aunt Nabby, Beckly.
Aunt Nabby resides in the northeast
corner of Maine, in a town which I shall
denominate as Pineville. •
I hope the reader will excuse me for
alluding to my personal appearance. I
have a military air, and perhaps my
dress may be a little more martial than
exactly benefith a non resident:- But
the ladies assure me that blue is becom
ing to my complexion, and who will gain
say the ladies.
I haye been strongly advised to enlist,
Intl am totally unfit for service. The
lof gunpowder makes me faint, and
I never Bred a gun off but once in my
life, and then I Was confined to 'my bed
for a, fortnight. Not exactly from the
effects 'of the fright, but because the
confounded fire:arm -resented my awk
ward handling, and kicked me so severe
ly that, my, eye .was in mourning' for
monthi, and my nose was knocked out
of the perpendicular into the slantindic
I arrived in Pineville rather late .on
Friday night, and as it was ten miles
further on to my aunt .. atitoy's rustic
cottage—tot:is have some extent of ter
ritory in Maine—l put up at the Wash
ington House—a one horse affair in the
struggling village of Pineville.
I registered my name—P. Sheridan—
on the hotel hook. My .Christian name
isPhilometheus, but owing to the oddi
ty of the title and the ominous • length I
rarely write it in full.
I got some supper, and retired imme
diately to my ?pow. I had just fallen
asleep ; and was dreaming serenely ,of
kissing Matty Baker, toy sweetheart, for
the•tirne, when I was aroused bye great
commotion in the street beneath my
Cries of 'We must see him Trot
him but V— l Three cheers for gallant
Phil!' rent the air.
I concluded some great character had
arrived in town, and in my Alnxlety to
behold the curiosity with the rest, I rot ,
got.my yellow flannel night cap and my
spare toilet, and sprang out of bed,
threw up my window and. leaned out.
Just as I bad
. got my eye fixed on the
swaying crow,d. s below, there was a rap
at my door.
"Come in I" cried I, fearing to answer
personally the summons, lest I should
lulus tay'chance of seeing the celebrity.
The landlord and landlady came in,
but the landlady retreated instantly and
remained giggling outiide the door.
'My dear sir,' said the landlord, you
mast go down 1 they won't go off till they
see lon I' .
'They ? who are they V said I
'The people around -here,', -mid he.
'lt hain't often such .an extinguished
character comes here, and ,taint no use
to try to put 'em off,'
'l'm obliged to them—much obliged
to them,' said but
"Taint rio use,' said he 'doggedly,
'you must come down, or the *ashing
ton" House will go 'down. They're• sure
to do it,'''
— 'oh, well; said I, ''in that case I will
go down surely; and I began to dresi.
In-a huiryi.knocked over the candle.
and was , obliged to complete my adorn
ment in the dark. I got into my panta
loons with the hind put. in, front, but
there was no time to remedy.the error,
as the vociferous calls of the landlord
for me to hurty assured me..
I fled down the stairs two at a time—
Stepped on my suspenders when half
way down, and was precipitated to tlie
next flobr, where' I was brought up in
the arms of a plump Chambermaid, who
was evidently waiting 'on Purpose to
catch me. '
Before I could resist, she had planted
a sounding smack on my -blond mond
tache; andcried delightedly to her com
panions : "There ! kissed 'him
first ! "
mentally rejoiced that Mattie Baker
was ,not there; and xesolved that ,she
should never ,knows anything about it.
,Natty, is red haired and ,folks , do pre
tend to say that shehis timper.
I freed mySelf from. my saluting fe
ukele and,advapee.i 114,the
My aripearance 44iefe'dwith, yells
d shouts, and cheers, perfectly deaf
ening. Men, women, and children, to
the numbei• of 'Myers! score, were cop
gregated in front of the hotel, waving
their hate and bandkerCliefa, and bur
- !There he comes,; that's him ! three
times three for the conquering Sheri
'Pm obliged to you gentlemen and
ladies; greatly obliged to you,' said I,
modestly making my best bow.
'He comes l' cried the crowd, sway
ing frantically abodt and swinging their
handkerchiefs more lustily. And I, not
wishing to_be behind hand in the enthu
siasm, pulled out my handkerchief and
swung it, crying out at the top of my
; ; ; 'Yes l . he comes I he comes l'hurrah I'
'What a martial air, exclaimed , an an
cient female, surveying me through her
glasses. Ho resembles the Duke of
"I wonder if hels married;" said a;red
cheeked girl in a cloud of yellow curls,
and pink ringlets. • '
"No, my darling," said I, "but I want
'Such a nocturnal' said the ancient
lady. "Army blue; and such an origin
alcut to the pants."
"Lord massy !" exclaimedxl an old lady
in a poke bonnet, fixing her eyes on my
suspenders as they hung down in front,
"do see his shoulder straps,. heern
our David tell a sight about them things."
"Yes, but 'they' look an ainazin' lot
like our Jerry's, gallases P whispered
another old , lady to whom :the remark
"Sir," said a sallow faced gentlemen
advancing tom) , side. '1 wish_ to men
tion to you sornething.l have heard of
you. I deem it my duty, as, pastor of
the Pineville meeting house,- to rebuke
sin, always. I have heard it, remarked
that you are ptofane among the soldiers,'
'I do not comprehend you,' said I.
',AI I then I'will be clearer. I hive
heard that you were addicteil to the
habit of using profane language, and I
beg leave to present you with a tract on
the sin of profanity,loping you will pe-
ruse and profit by it.'
'Thank you,' said I ; 'you mean well
. don't exaptly see the
'What is your opinion of Sherman?'
asked a brusque little dandy, swinging
his cape, and removing his cigar, from
his mouth long enough to propoand the
'Sherman's a trump 1' said I with en
'Ab c me ?' said my tract distributing
friend he plays , cards as welt as :swears.'
What.* you think of the - negro race ?'
asked a - dark complexioned man,
' I think they smell stronger than the
deuce,' cried I, beginning.= to lose my
' Merciful heaven 1' exclaimed the
-sallow-faced man, ' he is pro-slavery 1'
'Sir,' said the landloid, who had been
in earnest conversation with half a doi.:
en ladies for the last five minutes, ' these
ere women folks won't be satisfied with
out kissing on ye. They want to tave
it said that they's° kissed Sherrydan I'
I blushed to the roots.of my, hair.
Law 1 how modest ha is I'•said one
of;my feminine friends, '.Her's,as red as
our turkey gobbler.' ,
The project ofbeing.kissed by' some
of those pretty girls was decidedly Agree
I felt delicious over 'it ; but those
vinegar visaged old women---I &trunk
from the ordeal. But I am'naturally•
gallant rain and reflecting that - I could
wash my face abundantly, I congented.
'Coma one, come mill' said I.
They obeyed. They flung their arms
around my neck, and surrounded me on
every hand. I feltliko a pickeied sar
dine. I smelt musk, onions, patchouly,
snuff, jockey, club, hard cider, cologne,
doughnuts, boiled mutten, cinnamon,
mustard seed, caidamon buds, and every
other odor under the.sun.
Kissing is a "grand' invention, but
there is some choice in it, I think.
At`last they had - all kissed me but
one and'she was. making preparations.
I noticed her with - mighty trembling.
She was ugly ns 4 — o f ,i're, and the Took
C.7' ourP , -
of dogged detertnination im her wizened
face convinced me that I need hope '
nothing from her mercy.
" I never could taste anything with
my teeth in,r, she exclaimed irCan under
tone, and instantly, out came a NJ set
of teeth, and she rushed toward. me''
grew giddy with l the prospect, and trein
bling I fled before her, like the
Alefore a hnr icane i ;
lad. no-thpezitt fox the flgtire pet..
VOL. XII.-NO. 1.
my only object was to get out of her
reach. Through the entry, down a flight
of back stairs, knocking over the hostler
and the cook, who were giggling togeth
er on the steps—through the yard,
where I left the larger part of my coat
tails in the possession of a covetous dog
and over the fence into the open coun
try. And all the time I could hear the
steps of'my pursuer close behind me.
''You may run," cried she, "but I'll
catch ye. It sha'n't be said all the wo
men in Pineville Mind General Sheri
dan bat me. I'll do it or die !"
Good gracious ! so I bad been mista
ken-for General Sheridan. 'lgo wonder
the ; people, turned out en masse to wel
And still I hurried on. The snow
was deep. I was nearly down, and I
sank deeper and deeper at every step.
My female friend gained on me, and just
as I fell headlong into a concealed mud
hole she, grasped me by the collars and
before I could clean:user she had done
the deed—she had kissed me. The land
lord followed just behind, and I offered
him ten dollars to get me to aunt Nab
by's that night.
He accepted the bribe, and just be
fore daylight I sank at the feet of my
I lay abed for a week afterward, too
much exhausted to. stir ; but I saw a
copy of the . Pineville Eagle, and in it
the!following paragraph :
"URoss IMPOSITION !—A low lived
wretch passing himself off as General
Phil Sheridan, arrived in our village and
put up at the Washington hotel on Fri
day evening. There was quite a demon
stfation among our citizens before the
impostor was discovered. The bogus
general lias gone to parts unknown. It
supposed he was some drunken lune
in, from his conduct."
Judge my sensations.
.., tip Ladies,. here is something very
nice for . you : Fill a wide mouthed
glass jar with water and cover it with a
piece of "foundation" (the ladies wilt
understand this,) cover that over with a
layer of peas, pressing it down so that
the ;peas will lie in the water, they will
then swell and sprout, the roots grow
ing down iato the water, their fine fi
bres presenting a beautiful appearance.
Set _this in .a window and vines will
grow up, which can be conducted to any
In 1654 a trial took place in Con
necticut, under the section of the blue
laws prohibiting kissing. The offenders
weke• Sarah Tuttle and• Jacob Newton.
It appears that Sarah dropped her
gloves and Jacob found them. When
Sarah asked for them, Jacob demanded
a kiss for his pay, and as the demand
did not seem extravagant, she adjusted
it forthwith. The facts were clearly
proved" and the parties were each fined
Forty years Israel wandered in
the wilderness, before they entered upon
the promised land, and forty years trans
fers'every fortune in our land to new
owners:• And if any man is grieved be•
cause of the bigness of his income tax,
lethim wipe hig eyes. Ten chances to
one his children won't have any income
to be taxed upon.
eir Geo. Connor, of Henniker, New
Hanipshire, ninety-two years old, hv ,
this year planted and taken care of a
acre of corn in good shape, mows a pal I
of the time, reads without glasses,
used rib ardent spirits for forty year
His wife, eighty-seven . years of. age,
still living. They have been marric , l
-seventy years. -
lir A very considerate hotel-keeper.
advertised 'his "Burton XXXX," coy
"N.l3:—:-Parties drinking more th,,n
four glasses of this potent beverage t.
one sitting carefully sent home on a
. 1%194-N479w, if-required."
Oar Some one telling an Irishman U..:
a 'fellow had eaten ten saucers of h
cream ; whereupon Pat shook his hecl,l
41 S:p . you don't believe itlt" With ano
pat a nswered ; ' l l.belave in the cram, ,
,but not in the simpers."
, The , new mayer of Richroo ri .1
Sturdivant ) wad a major in the .
,rebel army. The election has been -
Oared null and void by the military i-l
- 3110:Ali 91d maid, who was eitor
Novi, to? eleaulinepe About liou,
l opeeAerribhe4 her eittinghroom
til she 'fell through into the collat.