Newspaper Page Text
FRED'K L. BAKER.
ADIES FANCY FURS AT
For Ladies and Children's Wear.
ALSO, A FINE ASSORTMENT OF
Gent's Fur Gloves and Collars.
my Furs were s!1 purchased when Gold
it a much lower premium than at present,
enabled to dispose of them, at very mu
te prices, and I would therefoie solicit
'ram my friends of Lancaster county, and
Remember the name, numeer and street.'
JOHN FAREIRA, 718 ARCH-fEr.;
above Sevehth, south aide,
10, , 64-sm.] 'Peat:tiniest IA
I have no partneenor connection with
other store in ,Philadelphia. '
• .nIE, WAFT!'
would not be out of the Draft
UT that which'efrects us'in connection
r with the Army, is - mot the onty'one=the
eft Upon the POCKET these times is equally
rere—consequently we purchase goods where
?et them cheapest.
3.03n..3a: ,-51 Dangler, ,
SUCCESSOR , TO DAVID ROTH
DI THE HARDWARE absixEss:
nig take this methfid.of informing the puli
that he is now prepared to fut:nisti anything
his line of busineda, each as '
Glass, Oils, Varnishes,
ores, Iron, Carpenter's, Tools, Ifitz&s,'
Bolts, Locks, Nails, all kinds
Thtiltling material, Coachmaker's
Goods, Cederwarei Clocks,
:y Articles in large variety; ivith_ a full as
nt of shelf goods get/daily, which he
1 sell at the lowest prices, w:holestite or re
. Cull and exatnit.e the stook.
dadet.a, March 5, 1864. •
E. &H. T. ANTHONY Ca;
Manufacturers of PhotOgraphic,.
WHOLESALE AND RETAIL,
501 BROADWAY, NEW;YOR,I,'
N addition to our main liu.sitii^ss'of Photo
graph IHaterlals, we are Head Quarters for
STEREOSCOPES & STEREOSCOPTIC VIEWS.
Of these we have an immense' itisortmerit, in
cluding War Scenes, Atnericrin and Foreign
sties and Landscapes Ocoups; , Statuary, &e
,130, Revolving' Stereoscope4TO Pub or
nvate exhibition. Our-`Catalogue will' be
:at to any address On reteipt of Stadip.'"":
P LIOTOURAP El IC ALBUMS.
We werelthelfirst to introduce these int:W
United StateS, cad we 'manufacture Tin
quantities in great variety, ranging AigaiLiAi,ge
front 50 cents to 50 dollars each. OutVAWs
have the reputation qf, being superior in beau
v and durability to any tithe's. They will be
lit by mailorite*, ou reLeipuoi price.
FINE ALBUMS MADE TO ORDER...4:X
Our Catalogue now embraces over FIVE
THOUSAND different 'sbbjects, (to which ad
ditions are constantly being made) of Por
t-aits of Eminent Aniericaim, &c ,'about
100 Major Generals,: 550 Statesmen,
200 lirig.-Generals, 130 Divines, '
275 Colonels, 125 Authors,
100 Lieut.-Colonels, 40 Artists,
160 other Offleers, , 125 Stage,
75 Navy 0111cet a, , 50 Promi'ent Women,
150 Prominent Foreign Portraits.
3,000 Copies of Works of Art,
including reproductions of the most celebrated
Engravings. Painting's, Battles, &c. Carat
logues sent on receipt of stamp. An order for
one dozen Pictures from our Catalogue will be
filled on receipt of *llBO, and sent mail, FREE.
Photographers and others ordering goods C.
0. D will please remit 25 per cent. of the
amount with their order. •
E. k H. T. ANTHONY .& CO., •
MANTIVACTSTRERI OF PHOTOGRAPHIC
MATERIALS, 501 BROADWAY, N. Y.
la" The prices and quality of our goods can
not tail to satisfy. • ligals.
IRON AND .O.R.AgS ' •
And General Maehiniels, Second 'street,
Below Union, Coltnnbia, Pa.
They are prepared to make all kinds of:Iron
Castings for Rolling Mills and Blast Furnaces,
Pipes, for Steam, Water and Gail Columns,
Fronts, Cellar Doors,-.. Weights, &c., for .Buil
dings, and castings of every description;
' STEAM ENGINES, AND BOILERS,
.". lilt THE MOST HODENA AND pfPROITIED
Pumps, Brick Presses, Shafting and
Pulleys, Mill Gearing, Taps, Dies, •Machinery
for ; Mining.. and Tanning ;- Brass. Bearings,
Steam & Blast Gauges, Lubricators, Oil Cocks,
Valves fen Stelin, Gas, and Water,;• limas Fit
tings in all their variety; Boilers, Tanks, Flues,
Heaters, Stacks, Bolts, Nuts '
Washers; drc: '
BLACK SiIia,THPVG GENERALI,
From long expeperice in building machinery wr
flatter °arises that we can give geleral smis
faction to those Who may favor us with their
orders. IQ - Repairing, promptly attended:to.
Orders ,by mail aildressedakabove, will meet
with prompt attention. ''Prices,to suit the times.
Columbia, October 20. 1860 - ' ' 19 tf
, .. .
. . ,•
DANIEL G. BAKER, ..
ATTORNEY AT LAW,
'' hi .
.... LANCOMtv 51
.:-,,,- IcE:—r+ o: 24 NORTE*. D.twa or ET
o PPenite the Court House, where he_ Vil at z•
end to the practice of his p r of emon I N T Its
- . • :. ( _
— the very
"Whenever the way seems long,
Or the heart begins to fail,
We sing a more wonderful song,
And tell a more wonderful tale."
above 7th, south
IN the prime of a vigorous intellectual man
hood, the . Plicenix or the weekliei ''begins
us flight for the new year, Over the wrecks of
its Ragging and lifeless contemporaries, with
its eye fixed upon the sue, beneath which it
owns no rivalry.
The war, which has toppled down whatever.
is shallow and baseless, has written no, wrin:
kleon the bright aegis of, our success, Our
features for the issue of 105 shake the pillars,
of 'Whatever has heretefdre been deemed im-'
perial in'selial literature. Both sides' of =the
Atlantic render us tribute. We shall continue
thUltrillinvoinancos of Miss M. E. tradon,
necreinariceirif thestrong dark
whom we pay more money. annually-than the
entire capital of out imitators; and addtto our
.American stall the chanipion jester of the cap
and bells, Josh Billings, who will commence
with the first of January a;series of his well
known ininataple.coinic papers, written ex
pressly for us, in 'his' irresistably ' convulsive
vein. Harriet E. Prescott, the most, polished
ana imaginative sketch-writer living ; P. T.
Barnum, the world famed show-man .and au -f
tobiograi her : - Miss M. A: Earle, FairfaX
four, Dr. J. H. Robinson, and ledliutitline/
renowned and versatile novelette-Writers
will eke outs the sparkling contributions o'
such facile poets, fuilletonists, humorists, cri
tics, travelers; paragraphists etc., as , George
Arnold, W. 0. Eaton, Millie W. Carpenter,
George Allred Townsend, Julia S. Ingraham,
Edward Willett, George Martial, Josepu Bar
ber, J. A. Peden, and calms numerous
enough and ell vet enough.to run all the news
papers on the Continent.
The vivid p. 11616 of Harley,. McLenan, and
White, the first draughtsmen of the age, will
make the.new volume pictorial, and whatever
of fugitive or.metor:c note may appear during
the year, willat once be engaged" and made
ALL KINDS OF
In addition to its criSp and teliag edtiori
als; its delectable Goisiners' Club, in which
the aptest and wittiest !poeins, caricatures.
and burlesques of:the time, first appear; rind
its coquettiso Ladies'ilmaemide, 1,, which all
the mothers, sweethearts,. daughters, wives,
and widows of the land sutyscriuc their expe
riences, The New York Mercury will cumin
ne the faithful and cogent
Photographs of Popular Pei)le,
highly illustrative of the oldest, ablest, and
artfu.est folk of the era; the Great Fashion•
Article, by Jennie Juile," whose 'sprightly
notes upon the latest, and most perfect ."ew
Yoik modes, are sugre4iive to leaders of se
ciety everywhere, and .universally consulted
both in the' metropolis acid ihrdughout the
country t kind commence a series of illustrated
Sketches of Grotesque Adventure 'in Foreign
climes during the War,- by Alfred Trample ;
as well as Hints upon Cookery, by Henry
Gosling, the metropolitan euisinier.
The first ,of the year. will inaugurate the
original novelette by Doctor, J. 11.
Kobi4iria,eutitled . . ' '
' Al;r111E'; or, l'he 'Child of the Cord,'
which will be followed by a splendid new
sto y by Miss M. E. 13raddon; Written expresi
ly for The York Mercury,"
Notwiths;anding the uti4tird march of every
article of luxury and cot sumptioa, and our
enormously lac - retitled thi the year 1865,
the Starpiper of the Itepubltc, with its forty
columnS ,of sterling.origibal matter, will, con
tinue to be issued at six cents acopy, and
sold bytsall newsmen and periodical-dealers
in America. Its long anti hdnorable history
Insures its subscribers against the casuaiities
and fatalities which have swept so many
mushroom journals off the board, and left
their patrons disconsolate at the loss of their
To mail subscribers our terms are :
Cash in advance: Single copies, $2.50 a
year; threelcopies, $7; six copies, $ . 13; nine.
copies, $2O. The party who sends us ,20 for
a club of nine copies will receive an addition-.
al copy free. Six months' Subscriptions re
ceived. Canada subscribers must send twenty
cents extra for each subscription, to pay the
Subscribers should be careful to write plain
ly the name of their post-office, county and .
State. Specimen copies sent flee to all appli
Prop.istors of Tlu New York Mercury,
Nos. 48 Ann-st., and 113 Fulton-st., N. Y.
Dr. F. Brumes Celebrated Remedies
NO. I. THE GREAT REV/VER.—Speedily
eradicates all the evil effects of self at use,
as loss of memory, shortness of breath, giddi
ness, palpitation of the heart, dimness olvis
ion, or any constitutional derangement of the
system brought on by the unrestrained indul
genee of thb passions. Actsalike on either sex.
Price one dollar.
No. 2. THE BA.Ex.—Will cure in fromtwo
'to eight daytWany case of Gonorrhoea,(clap)is
without taste or smell and requires no ristric
tian action or diet; for either sex; prick I.
NO. 3. Tsur ZEILER will cure Gleet in the
stiortest possible tiine; had I can show certifi
cates of Imre* effected by this remedy, wher
all others have failed. No taste oi
Price one dollar: ,
NO. 4. :T.ll.E•Ttpri,a is the, only: knoivn
temedy, that will positively cure strictures of
the urethra; no matter of how long Standing or
neglected the case may be. Price one dollar.
NO. 5. THE SOL lITOR will cure;any case
of Gravel permanently and speedify remov
all diseases front the bladder and. lcidneys.—
Price one dollar.
No. 6. Tex PREVENTOiIis a 5111 V proven
tion agotasi Ute contraction of any disease is
less.exponsie,e and. far preferable to anything
111 USe.. n .Adaßtedto eliher sex. Price $l.
NO 7. ,271-1 E AMMARID will cure the whites
iadicully, and in less time than they can'be ef
fectually removed by an: . other tivatniat ; in
fect th'is is the only remedy that will really,
cure this disease ; pleasant to, take. Price 1.
NO. 8. i rlIE thliarii-AL.PasTiLs are 'cer
tain, safe and speedy in producing menstrua
, nun or correcting any irregularities of ,the
, monthly,periods. Price two dollari.
No. 9., Tnr. REDIALE SAFEdUA#D, Or; Off
'spring Regulatpr will last a lifetime.'_ Price $5.
Eitner,ut the Remedies will be sent free by
mail on receipt of the pride annexed. Circu
lars containing valua'hie information with full
description of_ each Remedy, may be obtained
by enclosing one, posOtainp. Address
• 19.14., YELP; BAUNOW. Aix 99;
.Philailelphisi l Pa.
These Remedies are sold in Allirnitta only by
JORN JAY .1.1.11 /I ART, wherr, eirculars
taming a full descriptinq of .each vise coil he
General Depot, North Eata( Comer of York
and. street.; Phi,ladelphia, Pa.
lterliveorapitcated cakes I,„ctu‘niteons4lted'
Whiner,. or petionally at icy office; entrince,
401 Yokk Avenuec.
-Oni eau Mol see
es. - Jed 'itle Wei
V I larxtx 11+
By this. Sigh we Conquer
Itt Neu Nark iterturg.
The Pride of the Fireside
fn taltp.tilkitt Vairtzglaula 'Nrnr4 . for the - N ut .(Eirth.
lETTA, SATURDAY MORNING, JANUAR
AT ONE'DOLLAR ANIYA HitF YEAR,
Office in Perall's orOrronVoti oeto five ,
49cris East of nor} is Rotel.
0001es, 1 4ritif, or ivithont INsri apiiers,
ADVERTISING ItATF.S : One squAre (10 .
or 0'75 Centiabr the first infer '
One 'Dollar and-ti-balf fora inseiticins. ;Pro.;
fessiOniii and Business'calds, of six Hata or less
at $6 pei annum: Notices hi the toad og• col
umns, Jibe cepts a-line. Marriapp and Deaths,
the simple.announcement, razt;Aut,tur ,any,
i ines, five pots a line.
A liberal deduction made to yearlY rnd half
Havini just' added , a ' 6 Niumitny Mous-,
TAM JOBBER. PRESS,?' ,together with a large
assortment of new Joth a.n4 CEO , type, Cuts,
Borders, &c., &c., to the Job Office of "THE,
MARIETTIA PIT," !Midh wiil insure the fne and,
speedy execution of all hinds Of 'Yon & ti an
PRI N T 11 , 1 G , *din the intaliest ecir' : te the
LARGEST POSTER, at reasonahlepficee.
The mountains mingle with the river,
the ocean,, And the rivers with the ocean
The winds of,l3eaven mi.x,forever
_With a sweet emotion;
Nothing in this world is single,
Ail things, by law divine,
In another's being mipgle, ,
Why not 1 ?
See the thountains kiss high Heaven,
And lthe waves clasp oue!another;
No sister flower 'would be lorgivee
If it disdained' iti brother;
And the•sunlight elseps tluearth, •
And the moonbeams' kisi3'the see,
What are all these kiasiligs.worth,
ir thou Ittss net =tun. .
1:1 1g wAshingwq cprreepoedeßtzofshe
Cliapinnati Gazette tOla the felloAteg,
story : • t .. • - w
G n ~,S I.iench's , resolgth)n, just ; iptro
duced in, the. House, Jnaking ,ronaways
from the draft, who: have gone to Cane,-.
da,:aliens, and requiring them to be nut ;
uralized:Tbefore they, cen..again exercise .
the rights of citizenship,„lsAoo,d but
.old. Congress will. undoubtedly enact
the law, but a decisiorvin ;advance has
already been given 'by competent au
thority. a , .. •
•.Theetas:no right to =vote," said e
good old Quaker Judge , of•Slection-
Warren county, Ohio, to'a would-be vo
teriat the late election: ; :
"What do you .means ?",stormed the
astoUnded.devotee of the ,'Great 'Un
"I mean thee is not a toter ; thee is
Lint a citizen of this'Stete.:" '
"Wby, you old fool, I `ssiaa'born in this
county, and ba.ve•liveil baits thy lira,
anti there's nobody knoWn it b`ettee than
yod !" -
"Thee is mistaken,,mY 'friend:* 'Thee
was born here, pit 'is' 'MAW' thy
father, before thee, and a good man he
wait : l'l little thought his son would 'do
such a thing; but thee haSn't Hied here
all 'by life. Thep clipped away' about
the time of the draft ; thee went to Can
ada, and neither paid thy three hundred
dollars, if thee' was opposed to fighting,
nor took thy musket if thee wasn't';'
!,li,ett, became a• citizen, of a foyeign
country; and thee can't Joie here.!",,
The. McCiellanite, raved, but the
Quaker Judge was inflexible. The Mc
,Clellanite declared there was no layrfor
such a decision ; and he would prosecute
him ; but the Quaker was calm. "Thee
may be right about, the technical lan
gliagelkof the law ;' I.do tot pretend' to
Say ; but thee went'to Canidallind4
ant clear in my con:victions: Tain 'crier
TOTE!" Andhe didn't, That Quaker
was born fora . law-maker;
Nature, provides for the , distrAii.
tion of Oysters in a very pectifiar* man
'ner: lOyster sPawi.' , At first light sand
is easily It:larded' fronvtiie parent oyster,
by the tide:: Graddallyithe• spawn rises
to the' surfideVandi tit& intatit iit is ex
posed to the atm - where its Specific:gra
`vity is aPparently incieased, , for
denly sink% and whatever" solid sabel.ance`
it first touches in. its desce;tiotbe bot
tom,, it makes its kap% • tYti ' o:iCe 1 1 ,;, 13- §eks
nourishment, and coMmances g4,wing to
.1507 Two kind'ormen exert themselves,
to, no , purpose. One is the Tan' who
Aries „to have the last word With his wife
and the other h he who,having t a
last word, trust „.to knake her nonfesq,
thayshawns,in , the wrong: I, r' '"„4r
or An English noblemam hae , Lashed
notice to hie maul servante l not..to
crinoline upon pain of disinieeiil:
Aunt Hetty's Ideas of illatnmony .
Now, girls; said Aunt Betty, put down
yourarribroilierr and.worsted; work,.. do=
somethinwanusible; and store6huilding,
talking 2,1,,,10ves pad
h9WW4 l .l o , llB :;.it.Pflkf 3B ..lnetei,Ck: l pep,
fe4 l Y, ap4,9 3o ,Pial•—flovP, ;is a ,-faECsi
m atrinAllYlo4 o , hu4n but ;41.40 3 .99fhi
d c 4 PFlkcie.. - NaPPA9.9.nAN?dPiA l 9 3 5e4dPre,
sig44lg f9r, o o9r,Alefirts,to ccfnqueF, after
they are, 1111. Q Pf YPW:i,The ;PC'Pr5:,
nilop ie, as short lived as, ft Inciter m etch ;•
dreg at the.wash-tub,. and „your Aight z ,
cap t0.,-,nyeting„end your s hitabitricl,
w °lo. l -41t . ,k 11 °V , tit• may Pietc. pp
yourself to a chair, and spilt your goign j ,
* 1 4;9813 the !3!a.011-re,aohing : over the, Sable
to get a piecd of batter, while he is, lay-,
nig in his breakfast, as if it ,was the last
m,Otglhq cq ui fke,!4•, l )4 Oka- .fordaP,;
when be gets through,,he will laid your
digestion, ( a while yen , ere sip,ping ; your
first cup of coffee,) uy inquiring,. VALI
you'll have,for,diinier, whether the cold`
lamb was ail ate yesterday 4f.the cher,
coal is out, and what you %aye,
lestgieen.tes. •you bought.. Th,,en- he,
gets up from the'table, lights his cigar
with!the,last„nvening.'s paper ; that you
have not, had a chance to
,read ? gives
two or three .whiffs of ,smoke, sure to
give you,s, headache for the forenoon,-
anijust Its his post tail is vanishing
through the door, appologises, for not
doing "that errand, for You yesterday 7
thinks it doubtful if he can,dolt to -day:
—"so pressed\with business." Hear, of
him at eleven, o'clpek, taking an ice,
cream with some ladles at Vinton's,
white ion are,at home now
old coat sleeves. ohittlren by, the ears :
all day, can't get put to take the, air,
'feel ascrazy.as a fly in a drum; husband
comes honie at nig.bt, nods a "how& ye !
,boxes charley's ears, steads
little Panay, u,p, in
in the easiest chair, in the.wartuestcor. :
;ner, puts his feet,over the grate, ,shuttieg,
out all the fire while the baby's little
'menage grews blue with chid "; reads
the newspaper all to himself, solaces his
inner'man zPith a hot ciiii;cifitee,ind „just
as you are'laboring tinder the hallueina-t
tion that he - will ask: yon to take' fe
mouthful'of fresh air=With him; he;!pute
on his .dressing gbwtf and slippers, and'
begins to reckon' the family..expensefrt
after which he liest'dosie 'Ol3 , the sofa,
and you keep time. :with Your needle;
while he snores tillonine oickick. Next
Morning, ask him to 'leave you "a little
fhoneY" he Woke at you as if to be sure
that• you are in your right =mind, • draws
a`siglr long enough .and -Strong. enough
to' inflate a pair of bellews, and asks-you
what you want ofit; and if a 'halt :dollar
worn. do: Gracious'. King.i. as if , all
those little shoes; .and; stockings`, and
pinafores; and petticinitedould be 'had ,
for "half &dollar!" .ob, , girls set your
affections on cats, Polidles,parrofs or lap
dogsbut let .matriniony alone. -It's
the hardest wayi on; 'earth of ogettingl a
living-yoft nevelt; know; when yoarwvolk
is done up. -Think carryiug. eight or
nine ,children, through the measles,
chicken-pox; rash, mumps,. and= scarlet
fever, some of 'em tsiice over:.;. it makes ,
my sides ache to , thinklcif; 'Oh;. you
-may scrimp and; save,=find turn; and, dig
and `delve, and economfze, aid die,• and
your' husband will marry again,, take
whatlyoulve saved fo dress second
`wife with,'ind she'll "take, phew ~ portrait
for a fire-board, and—bet, whaVe the
use of talking? "I'll *arrant every on'e
of you'll iry it, the first chance',you get;
.there'fl a Bert of bewitchment about it,
lomehone. I wiiehs onikhalf of the world
I *unit fools, and Votlfer hilt' idiots,
,SCENE IN A S A NCTUM :—EnterA large,
strong,man,,with along cowhide in his
"Is tlaeuditorin ?"
is." - ' • .
have come to settle, with you.
"Well, (editor draws a revolver) go
dt ,jlip , ve taken your,paper now about
.- •' •
"Autin article ip your, last week's
, paper (editor , cocks the pistol) convin
,11elqiat oa D ,
#9.P.7 , your. right to give '
"Give you 4",
"1 .• I
,")vb,y, tio, i sp? aoff,sir, I came to pay
ailvanne For ap,ltntr a year.
ha. editor immeinately,wiltea. .
91 4511 491 v•Veatl .A 9 7. • ,1)
;. 1 / it' 'nit,- tight , b4+otbei irayal--elm
411).flitoy)W - - ' WO
32,4 1864 . ;
SEVRESY INI7BOSINESS 0110` COMM Of
Rothschild's,great advantage in his bu,
sinew transactions was the teatesy, with
which be shrouded them, and the
one policy witti which be misled those
the most who ` Watel4 him the keenes t ,
If lie ppefteegllno.ooisolpted to, make
:the funds lise, he would Commimion the
'broker who acted on his behalf, to sell
halra' 'Chil l seoir
usharlf itilloii'the'Moveinants'of Othein
solifwith The news solid 'passed
through the : Monetary cirdleibat Bothi
child ' , AM "betiring'thelnitiket, - iiiethe
funds fell. Meri''foOked 'doilbtiiigly' at
one-another; and a•generai Thule spread;
bad, news was. looked-for, and ,, these uni
ted agencies sunk the price twil or'three
per cent,. This wae,thaxesult expected
and Athar brokers;•noVusually.employed
by him, bought all they could at there
duced retes. By the, o t i imo this ,was ac
coniPlistida; the goad . ews arrived; the
pressure ceasedd---the funds , "rose inalibt-
Ix and Mr. ARtbBC4ll4l"eapecl i klp ar d.
There were, .hirvevfa i r , , , periods when 'his
gigaitic capital seemed likely to' be
scattered to 'the foir quarters of 'the
grobfe. He lost . hid'e
gliki Operation' ; *hob the French' en
tered Spain, in 1.823;'11if was' also 7 in greet
jeopardy ; but,',perhaps; the most peri
lous position; in.. which ;hex was pl iced
was •with the,famous Polignac loan, al
though his vast intelligence saved him
and. placed the burden on..the shoulders
of oth e rs With: this, nevertheless, he
saffered greatly, for the price fell thirty
A .FAMILY Jan :—A rebellion has bro
ken out. in ithe royal family ;of England.
The Princess Mary, of-Cambridge, it, is
currently rumored, has married ;Viscount
Hood. According to'the royal`marriage
a' member of the riiYal family can
not marry without the consent of the'
seveieign or giving , notice-to -the Privy
Ootincil;'and' even' when' , this notiee
given the marriageilm4 be'declated
gal ; -by; .A,ctiof Parliament. Qtienn "Vje
toritt positively refused.hex.sanction, as
shot 4 8 . s davariably done . every time, the
poor Princess has had an offer, and the,
latter, who is now thirty-one, and has po
Merl to lose, haslbyi "giintr and done
it" regardlees kconseqiiences. Wheth
er will eventually take the
part of the royal rebel, or of the offend•
ed Queen, is 'still uncertain but` mean
time, we are constrained- to Tecdinize
Mrs.' Hood as a belligerentand very de
termined female, who can safely defy
Victoria to makeller an old maid again,
by-Act of yarliament.-
WOhtE?i AS CLERK'S ;—Mrs. SWieSheirn
( herself a clerk - in one of the Der:4W
ments In Washington, ), , writing to the
Tribune, !says comployment i of
women as clerks in; the. Governmental
pepartments_is an entire, enccess, and
there' are 'Womett Working' here now tor
$6O per who' itreii,knit words
of who` are I
Of thiri-class--or $1:6.00 per BOMB
clerk's ; and one!h'alrof the idnien Pow
4 , •i' )••.••ip.• I." ' , if
ompioyed in copying, have -fiecothe if
familiar wit c h the rontioe of baseness,as
to be much better — fitted " fill the
phices which nre, Tacapt,,than
the new men who ltreglikkly)lci/cbo .ap
pointed:". She , argnealihatbarceirtein
-clads of women canqvidlutfford s•tocirork
-dome oo•predsing w , dirty ,upon our ••••go*-
ernment, why notreinfoloyithat class id
laborers-.who, can ,agoril , .to ,do• tetcork
.for the Je?" •.•
• tta posta,
Alerosi'grdirrect Vachelkir •lii
rihrkdd in 'our othei day
that the Most'itrilrliU'it c `cliaiddteridtite
bfleathen and , civikized.landCwere that
in, the foemer men; !made, slaves ,:of
wooden, and in the4atteri wgmen, made
slaves of the men:l A. felloW gnilty„of
- .such slander on the economical fain stex
(oftohristendom should never be allowed
to lockk•at a pretty girl: • ,
tir "I will not strike thee,' bad man,'?
said 'a quaker one day, "but. I 'Will' let
this billet of wood fall 'on tkeell'—',.firid
at'tbat•iireeise tubtnent ;the "bglitinitn"
'Was floored by the 'weight of the - Walking
stick that the qtinkei . 'was"` to
cariy:• 2. • • • '
• . .
Par To thaw ont frozen,numps—e, pint
of ealt, hue , found generally, 'suffi
cient. Two pints buy° been foinid
enough to thaiv through three feet"deep.
An - hour's time anificivkin ordinary ca.
4, J :44 24 Offra,l4 r
tci gar I Walleye , girlaw arantdre-lkittetta ;
ge nitlytaninatb; theniAtnalithiatiOtiiimy,
Abv i Tab and , puff:prat afFeckionately ;
gi;ve eokitiiiii'Vttig 4 , lll and
a t ti 111 ilia' in'oie ttielliiittil
' VOL. 11-NO.
Stuff far smilt9
When men take brandy to "set them
up," it often brings them down.
good threshing machine for family
use—:-the.broomatick. Every wifesbnuld
'Ton bichelors ought to be taxed,"
said ti lady to a resolute evader of the
noos e' matrimonial. "I agree with you.
watithe reply ; "bliehelvism
_L Pennsylvania editor, in an appeal
to his patrons, says : "The editor wants
grain, pork, tallow, candles, whisky, lin
en, beeswax, wool, and anything else he
can eat." •
None are so fond of sacrets as those
who don't mean to keep them. Such
persons Fovet secrets as a spendthrift
covets money—for the purpose of cir
Mr. Jenkins," said a tradesman, will
it suit you to settle that old account or
yours r "
: No,sir, yon are mistaken in
the man. I am,not an old settler" He
had lived in the town but *few years.
Bearing a pbysicilin( once remark that
a small blow would break the nose, a
rustic exclaimed, "Well I donna 'bout
that ; I've blowed my nose a gieat many
times, and I've never broke it yet."
A. profound dealer in statistics says :
"Only 65 persons out of 1,000 marry ;
of these 65, 3 are divorced, 8 run away,
14 live like cats and dogs, 30 are indif
ferent, and 10 are bappy. Miserable
A parsimonious sea captain answer
ing'the complaints of his men that the
bread was bad, exclaimed, "What !
complain of your bread that is made
'from flour? What do you think of the
Apostles'?' they ate 'show bread,' made
frOm old boots' and Shoes."
The sweetest sounds in nature are
these of a pretty wife calling you to a
warm and smoking breakfast. Harmo
ny, mutton chops, coffee and fresh rolls
go together as naturally as nonsense,
young women, crinoline and satin slip
The fastest compositor in the world
is thei one who employs a boy to stand
at hie.side with an oil can in hand, fur
the purpose of oiling his elbow joints,
thereby, preventing them from becoming
heated by the rapidity of his movements
and, saving his shirt sleeves from igni
A witty gentleman speaking ore friend
who was prostrated by illness, remarked
the t" he could hardly recover, for his
cbustitntion was all gone." "If his con
kitittion is all gone," said a bystander,
"1 - do not see bow he lives at all," - 0,
responded the wag, be lives on the by-
141,post who was engaged in examining
theivarioam *twater fails" that adorn the
heads of the ladies, has no perpetrated
thelolyolving : • ' •
Suchiciarls as.thoge your sister wears,
v . RoW many maids have prayed for;
Now, ealdidly, are they her own ?
"Oh yes they're hers—and paid for."
„,Onfrni our best clergymen last Sun
dp,y, preached , a sermon.: on autumn,
,whesein,4 alluded to the "pomp of the
rege,J,lpres4,7: One of his hearers ob
jentnitto the ; germon on the ground, that
it 141.3,1111 abolition dieceuree. An ex
plmaA io n ,was ,ash ed,—” W hy," said be,
'`didn't be say 'pomp of the forest,' and
isn't that 'nigger in , the woods,', I'd like
,The laat fashipnable agony is a mous
tache spOon, specially designed to enable
the "moustache gentry", to eat soup with
out soiling this "hand-scrub" below the
nose. This mysterious, spoon is the in
vention of an American genius, and has
a bridge overthe.centre, which supports
theimoustache.above the spoon, allow
ingithe savory morsel to pass into the
`mouth •without' disturbing the upper-lip
'iitntituent. ;What 'next.? .
The following letter was written by a
man'to , his on at college : " I write to
send you some new socks, which your
mother has knit by cutting down some
of Mine. Your. mother sends you £lO
without my knowledge, and for fear that
you would not spend , it wisely, I have
kept back half, and only seed five ; your
mother and I, are well, except that your
Meter has got the small pox. I. hope
pia "do heinor to my teaching ; if
you do not, you are a donkey, and your
mother and ; myself are your affectionate
Franklin abid "a good kick out of
jdoortil in , better 'then al} the rich wallies
in the world: 4 • .