Newspaper Page Text
BY FRED'K L. BAKER.
D R. 1100 FLAND 5 S
Prepared by Dr. C. 117 Jackson,
IS NOT A BAR-ROONI DRINK, OR A
SUBSTITUTE FOR RUM,
Or an Intoxicating Beverage,but a highly con
centrated Vegetable Extract, a Pure Tonic,
free from alcoholic stimulent or injurious drugs,
and will effectually cure
HOORAH'S GER:0111N BITTERS
WILL CURE EVERY CASE OF
Chronic or Nervous Debility, Disease of the
Kidneys, and Diseases arising from a
OBSERVE THE FOLLOWING SYMPTOMS
resulting from disorders of the digestive organs:
Constipation, In ward Piles, Fulness or Blood
to the Head, Acidity of the Stomach, Nausea,
Heartburn, Disgust for Food, Fullness or
weight in the Stomach, sour eructations, sink
ing or fluttering of the Pit of the Stomach,
swimming of the Head, hurried and difficult
breathing, ' ,fluttering at tht heart, choking or
suffocating sensations when in a lying posture,
dimness of vission, dots or webs before the
sight, fevet and dull pain in the head, defici
ency of perspiration, yellowness of the skin
and eyes, pain in the side, back, chest, limbs,
&c., sudden flushes of heat, burning in the flesh,
constant. immaginings of evil, and great de
pression of spirits.
HO MAN'S GERMAN BITTERS
WILL GIVE YOU
A Good Appetite,
Strang • erves,
A Strong Constitution,
A Healthy Constitution,
A Sound Constitution
Wtta. TVIAKE THE WEAK STRONG,
Will make the
Will make the
Will male tha
Will make the
Sallow Complexion Clear,
Will make the Dull eye.
Clear and Bright.
1137Wi11 prove a blessing in every family.
al'",Can be used with perfect safety by male
or Fernsle, Old or Yining.
I AKTIC[TLAIt NOTICE.
There are. many preparations soid under the
'lathe of Bitters, put up in quart bottles, con'.
pounded of the cheapest Whiskey or common
Rum, costing from 20 to 40 cents per gallon,
the taste disguised by Anise or Coriander seed.
This class of Bitters has caused and will con
'tinue to cause, as long as they can be sold,
'hundredslto die tie death of a drunkard. By
their use the system id kept continually under
:the influence of alcoholic. Aims lats of the
worst kind, the desire fur liquor is create l. cud
;kept up, and the result is all the horrors at
oltendant upon a drunkard's life and death. Be
lt:are of them.
For those who desire and will have a liquor
bitters, we publish the following receipt :
Get one bottle Hoolland's German Bitters and
mix with three quarts of good Whiskey or
Brandy, and the result will be a preparation
that will far excel in medicinal virtues and
true excellence any of the numerous liquor
bitters in the market, mid will clst much less.
You will have all the virtues of flogiland's Bit
ters in connection with a good article of liquor
and at a much less price then these inferior
preparations will cost you.
DELICATE CU ILDREN.
Those suffering from vierasmus, wasting
away, with scarcely any flesh on their bones,
are cured in a very short time; one bottle in
such cases, will have most surprising effect.
Resulting from Fevers of any kind—these bit
ters will renew your strength in a short time.
FEVE.R arc o AGUx.—The chills will not re
turn if these Bitters are used. No person in a
fever and ague district should-be without them.
...... . .........
Yr= Rev. J. Newton Ilrown, D. D., Editor
e the Encyclopedia of Religious Knowledge.
Although not disposed to favor or recommend
Patent Medicines in general, through distiost
their ingredients and effects; I yet know
of na sullici mt reason why a man may not tes
tify to the benefits he believes himself to have
received from any simple preparation, in the
hope that he may thus contribute to the bene
fit of others.
I do this more readily in regard to Hoolland's
German Bitters, prepared by Dr. C. M. Jackson
because I was prejudiced against them for a
number of,years, under the impression that
they were chiefly an alcoholic mixtufh. lam
indebted to my friend Rob't Shoemaker, esq.,
for the removal of this prejudice by proper
tests r and for encouragement to try them, when
suffering from great and long debility. The
use of three bottles of these bitters, at the be
ginning of the present year, was followed by
evident relief, and restoration to a degree of
bodily and mental vigor which I had not felt
for six months before, and had almost dispair
ed of regaining. I therefore thank God and
my friend for directing , me to the use of them.
.1. NEWTON BROWN.
Philadelphia, June 23, 1362.
AND , .3HE FRIENDS OF SOLDIERS.
We call the attention of all having relations
or friends hi the army to the fact that " Hoof
land's Gernian Bitters'? will cure nine -tenth,
of the diseases induced by privation and ex
posures inchient to camp life. In the listss
published almost daily in the newspapers, on
the arrival of the sick, it will be noticed that
a very large proportion are suffering from de
bility. Rvry case of that kind can be readi
ly cured IVllooflandle German Bitters. We
have no he y aitatior , in stating that, if these bit
ters are freely used among our soldiers, hund
reds of likes might be saved that otherwise
would bd lost.
The preprietors are daily receiving thankful
letters him sufferers in the army and hospi
tals,who have been restored to health by the use
of these Bitters, sent to them by their friends.
Beware of couuterfe►ts ! See that the sig
nature of. 46 Ci M. Jackson? is on the wrapper
of each bottle.
Laregie, 81:00 per bottle, or dozen for $5.
Meditirkeize, 76c per bottle, or a cozen for $4
The larger size, on account of the quantity
the bottles hold, are much the cheaper.
Shoulkyour nearest druggist not have the
article, do not be put off by any of the intoxi
cating preparations that may be offered in its
plsgeylsend to us, and we will forward,
meeurely'pitked, by expresi.
PrWe44l/ Office and Manufactory,
No. 631 ARCH STREET.
4,1,1 NS & EVANS,
(Successors tO Jenksen 3r..C0.;)
yor isle by Druggists Dealers in every
own,in the trnited Rates." (may 30-ly
46tpuVent Veats lintuia afournal glthoo Volitits, Yittraturt, Agrititurt, lUDs of tie ga l Yotal 4ntriligtott,
publiztrb tbzq .%aturhap Xotttin,g,
OFFICE • Cnut.t.'s Row, Front Street, five
• C doors below Flury's Hotel.
TERMS, One Dollar a year, payable in ad
vance, and if subscriptiors be not paid within
six months $1.25 will be charged, but if de
layed until the expiration of the year, $1.50
will be charged.
ADVERTISING RATES: One • square (12
lines, or less) 50 cents for the first insertion and
25 cents for each subsequent insertion. Pro
fessional and Business etude, of six lines or less
at $3 per annum. Notices iu the reading col
umns, flue cents a-line. .1% larriages and Deaths,
the simple announcement, FREE; but for any
additional lines, five cents a line.
A liberal deduction made to yearly and half
Having, recentled added a large lot of new
Job and Card type, Cuts, Borders, &c., to the
Job Office of 4 ' The Mariettian," which will
insure the fine execution of all kinds of JOB &
CARD PRINTING, from the smallest
Card to the largest Poster, at prices to suit the
Received two "Prize Medals"
[Fuom JURIES 3 AND 4,] AT THE
International Exhibition, London, 1862
BEING THE SOLE AWARDS GAINED BY
ANYTHING OF THE KIND.
it also received the Superlative Report of
"Exceeding Excellent Food."
At the Great International Exhibition at
Hamburg, July, ISO,
Received the Highest Medal
FOR ITS DELICACY AS AN ARTICLE
Used for Puddings, Custards, Blnac Mange,
&c., without Isinglas, with few or no eggs.
It is excellent for thickening Sweet Sauces,
Gravies for Fish, Meat, Soups, &c. For Ice
Cream i.othing can compare with it. A little
boiled in Milk makes a rich Cream for Coffee,
Chocolate, Tea, &c. A most delicious article
for food fur children and invalids. It is vastly
supr rior to Arrow Root, and much more eco
l'ut up in one pound packages, under the
trade-mark Maizena, with full directions for
use, anti sold by all Grocers and Druggists.
166 Fulton Street, New-York.
SCHENCK'S PULMONIC SYRU P
SCHENCK'S PULMONIC SYRUP
SCEIENCK'S PULMONIC SYRUP
SCHENCK'S PULMONIC SYRUP
SCHEIVCK'S SEA WEED TOKR,
SCHENCK'S SEA WEED TONIC
SCHENCK'S SEA WEED TONIC
SWiENCK'S SEA WEED TONIC
:CIIENCIPS MANDRAKE PILLS
WILL CD Ft 14
LI VElt COMPLAINT'S.
SCHENCK'S MANDRAKE PILLS
SCHENCK'S 114.4.NDRAKE PILLS
SCHENCK'S MANDRAKE PILLS
DR. .1. 11. SCHENCK has a large suit of
rooms at No. 32 Bond st.. New-York, where
he can be found every Tuesday, from 9 a. m.
to 3 p. m., and at No. 39 North Sixth street,
Philadelphia, ?a., every Saturday.
He keeps a large supply of medicines at his
rooms, which can be had at all times. Those
wishing advice or examination with the Res
pirometer, his price is $3.
Mhny persons are afraid to have their lungs
examined by DR. SCHENCK for fear they
will be found incurable, and by that means it
is put off until it is too late. Bow much bet
ter it would be to know their condition at once,
as by abundance of evidence, Dr. S. has shown
sufficient certificates in this city that he has
cured advanced stages of Consumption.
DR. SCHENCK's Principal Office is No. 39
North Sixth Street, Philadelphia, Pa., where
letters for advice should always be directed.
Pane of the Pulmonic Syrup and Sea
Weed each $1 per bottle, or $5 the z dozen.
Mandrake Pills, 25c por box
For sale by all druggists and storekeepers
October 24, 1863. 12-3ffig.
DR. J. Z. Ii 3 OFFER,
.e - -= OF THE BALTIMORE CoLpEGE
OF DENTAL SURGERY,
LATE OF HARRISBURG.
OF F I CE:—Front street, next door to R.
Williams , Drug Store, between Locust
and Walnut streets, Columbia.
DR. WM. D. FAII.NRSTOCK,
OFFICE:—MAn!-§T., ? prEARLY qprpsyrk.
" Spaugldr & P'attigaiin , s*or9,. a .
• . F.ltoni:7 io BA. 31:
OFFICE HOURS. " 1 To 2.
> 1- 6TO7P. N.
CONSIJ MP VION.
WILL CURE '
DI SPE E'SIA
MARIETTA, PA., SATURDAY, JANUARY 2, 1864.
A. German correspondent of the St
Louis Union writes to the editor :
Why is it that you native-born Ameri
cans spell this word in a way to make it
not only lose its lovely sense, but even
to make it entirely senseless ? "Kriss
Kinkle," you spell it ; and if nobody
checks you in this obnoxious orthogra
phy a stupid, senseless word will re
ceive the privilege of augmenting the
English vocabulary, when by a very lit
tle care it could be enriched with a
beautiful, friendly, and sensible expres
Christ Kindel means the little child—
Christ; Jesus, the little child; L'En
fant Jesus, as the French say. [The
evening before Christmas the legend
lets the child Jesus visit the houses,
where there are some good-natured fel
In France they have no Christmas
trees but, nevertheless, . the children
know that "L' Enfant Jesus" is coming,
and they put their shoes outside of their
house-doors, or in the ashes of the
chimney, being certain to find on the
next morning a copper, or even a sli
ver or gold piece in them. L' Enfant
Jesus, they know, rewards, in this way,
their good behavior during the year.
In Germany there is no house without
a Christmas tree. On the night before
Christmas, Christ Kindel comes in the
best room in the house, illuminates the
tree, and puts on it, and under;it, what
ever all good children during the whole
year hoped to get. The most lovely
and innocent feast, in fact the feast of
children, this essentially German feast
having finally made the "tour de monde"
—is not proper, while you Americans
have accepted the theory, to except al
so the name, and not spoil it by any
atrocious orthography ? Is it not a
great deal better to spell Christ Kindel
than to strangulate it into the nonsensi
cal expression of 'friss Kinkle?
Gunn.—A love-sick lassie, writes to
her adored, in the following strain of
deep feeling love :
"My dear sweet Ichabod. how I
want to see your big gray eyes. 0,
how borrow-stricken 1 am at your long
absence. .E want to see you oad feel
your heart bump. Oh, sweet Ichabod,
now do come out, and let us get mar
mried if you love me. God bless you, if
you are not sufficiently blest in being so
sweet. Oh, you marygold, you holly
hock, you tulip, you cabbage. Oh, you
sweet owl, do come and comfort your
dying, smitten Caroline. Oh, Ichabod,
but how I do love your big red lips.—
Oh, you trim, tall fellow, full of manna
of sweet love, how I do want to see you,
you model of perfection. You have
been gone this two mouths, and to me
it does seem like a hundred years.—
your dear presence would do me more
good than the cooling springs to the
parched traveller of the desert ; more
then the pebbled pool to the wanton
duck—yes more than a lump of sugar to
a spoilt child. Why, then, will you not
come, yes fly as swift as lightning to
kiss away the tears from the dimpled
cheeks of your mad love. Oh, bleak
and wild is the house, the garden, the
woods, and the world without thee. Oh
yes, bless thee, my dumplin, my jews.
hare . rooster, my gentletnana."
r Cir Old Mrs. Lawson was called as a
witness. She was sharp and wide
awake. At last the cross-examining
lawyer, out of all patience, exclaimed—
'Mrs. Lawson, you have brass enough,
in Tour face to make a quart pail."—
"Yes," she replied, "and you've got sass
enough in your head to fill it"
eir And Adam said, "This is bone of
my bone and flesh of my flesh ; she shall
be called woman because sha was taken
out of man. Therefore shall a man
eave his father and mother and shall
cleave unto his wife. They shall be one
esh. No cards."
Dudley remarked once to
that genielest of wits, Sydney Smith,
"Yon have been laughing at me con
stantly, Sydney, for the last seven years;
and yet in all that time you never said
a single thing to me that 1 wished un
Joannes Scotus, being in compa
ny with Charles the Bald, King of
France, that monarch merrily said,:
is the difference between a Scot
and a sot?" Scotus, who sat oppojeite
the King, said, "Only the'breadth'of
couple, antifitinco in. the Provi,
&nee Post their Marriage, and Add to
the notice--"No cards, nor any money
to get them with."
We observe the following going the
rounds of the Rebel press :
Mike has made several important dis
coveries in his recent raid through the
Southwest. He says he has just found
out what a "private hotel" is. He has
found several of them in his travels, and
they are certainly very peculiar institu
tions. He says their bells and gongs
make as much clatter as if there was re
ally something on the table to call the
public to, but when one gets there he
sees nothing but empty plates.
Presently the waiters will be seen
dispersing different articles of proven
der—pretty generally to the military
gentlemen with the stars and bars on
their collars—and when you ask them
to give you "some of that what that
feller's got," the waiter will look at you
just as a faro dealer does when he "rakes
down your pile," looks as if. he had
"thawed" you, and innocently says :
"That's private, sir."
Then you look around to see what
else might suit your taste, and you see
another chap with eggs. You think,
"well, eggs are common enough, dear
"Well, give me some eggs, then."
"Dem's private, too, sir. De gemmen
foth 'em here, and we cook 'em for him."
"Give me some potatoes, then ; I
suppose they're not private," I said,
loud enough to attract all the eyes
around the table,
"Yes, massa, dem's private, too ; but
I can give you some corn bread."
"Give me some of that butter, you
black rascal," I said, aggravated, as in
deed it should make any body feel who
was paying eight dollars a day'for board.
"Well, massa, 'clare, massa, dat's pri
vate, too ! Here's some salt !"
ISpying another nigger, I motioned .
Erip to me, thinking I would slip a bribe
into his fingers, and possibly get some
orthe private dishes. He came reluc
tantly, and as I extended my hand with
a promise in it, he stopped and said in
a low tone :
"I'se a private servant, massa."
Phis capped the climax, and I deter
mined to finish my meal on corn dodger
and salt, and take the next train for a
GEN. M EAGIIER.-It appears that Gen.
Thomas Meagher was captured by the
rebels during the recent movement of
the Army of the Potomac is entirely
false. He was on a visit to the remnant
of his old Irish Brigade when the ad
vance upon the enemy was ordered, and,
as might be expected from his previous
career, which has been remarkable for
und s aunted courage and pluck, he went
with them into the front of danger ; but
he was not taken prisoner. He re
turned with them across the Rapidan,
and became the guest of General Corco
ran at Fairfax Court House. His re
ception by his old comrades and brother
generals throughout the entire army is
said to have been most cordial and en
Itir "Son," said an interesting young
mother to her youngest hopeful, "do
you know what difference is between
the body and the soul ? The soul, my
child, is what you love with, the body
carries you about. Tbis is your body,
(inching the little fellow's shoulders
aid arms,) but there is something deep
e in, you can feel it now. What is
at ?" "Oh I know," said Sam, with
flush of intelligence in his eyes, "that's
my flannel shirt."
Cr One who has evidently tried it,
says : "To reduce the temperature of
a dining•room bring a friend home to
tea some afternoon when your wife
wishes to "fix up" early to go to the
opera. The coolness with which your
self and friend will be received will give
arigerating tone to the whole house.
The receipt is warranted to cure."
lir A few evenings since, a widow,
who was known by the entire congrega
tion to be greatly in want of a husband,
was praying with great fervency. "Oh !
thou knowest what is the desire of my
heart!" she exclaimed. "A-m-a.n !"
responded a brother, in a broad accent.
It was wicked, but we are quite sure
that several grave members smiled on
Cr An exchange calls young men
who stand round church. doors to watch
young ladies, as the congregation, is go
ou, the "Devil's Pickets.'
gar A countryboy who had read of
sailors heaving up anchors, wanted . ' to
know if it was sea-sickness that made
them do it.
Figures will not Lie.
STATISTICS OF LIFE AND DEATEL.—We
have faith in statistics. They give the
death blow to all false doctrine and em
piricism in science, and blow sky-high
the fine spun theories of unpractical men.
Medical statistics are of special import
ance. They teach us to estimate at their
just value the curative powers of the
drugs, which are the stereotypes of the
"profession," and what is their value?
Figures, which do not lie, show that in
all dangerous complaints the "regular
practice" of the "faculty" loses at least
as many as it saves. But, then, the
doctors tell us that those who die are
"incurables." If this be so, how is it
that so many victims of the most viru
lent internal and external disorders,
whom the profession had given up, have
recovered through a persevering use of
Holloway's Pills and Holloway's Oint
ment? There can be no doubt about
the fact, we .opine, and we want some
body to account for it. To our plain
mind, it appears that if chronic dyspep
sia cannot be cured by the doctors, and
is cured with unerring certainty by
Holloway's Pills, that the latter remedy
is worth the whole medicinal stock of
the faculty, as a means of relieving that
complaint. 'So again, if a "given up"
case of scrofula or erysipelas becomes
rapidly convalescent under the action
of the Ointment, we cannot escape the
conclusion that it is the true specific for
external disorders, and that the "regu.
lar pharmacoveie" contains nothing
that will compare with it as a means of
subduing that class of maladies.
This is good logic, we believe. If any
cavil at it, we will admit their demur
rers when they can show us a better
basis for argument than facts.—" State
Some of our exchanges have revived
the following old but good story :
A number of old politicians, all of
whom were seeking office under the go
vernmeat, were seated at a tavern porch
talking, when a toper named John 3--,
a person who is very loquacious when
corned, but exactly the opposite when
sober, said if the company had no ob.
jections he would tell them a story.—
They told him to "fire away," whereup
on he spoke as follows :
"A certain king—l don't remember
his name—had a philosopher upon whose
judgement he always depended. Now
it happened that one day the king took
it into his head to go a hunting, and af
ter summoning his nobles and making
the necessary preparations, he summon
ed the philosopher and asked him if it
would rain. The philosopher said it
would not, and he and his nobles de
parted. While journeying along, they
met a countryman on a jackass. He
advised them to return, 'for,' said he, 'it
will certainly rain.' They smiled con
temptuously upon him, and passed on.
Before they had gone many miles, how
ever, they had reason to regret not ta
king the rustic's advice, as a heavy
shower coming on they were drenched
to the skin.
"When they had returned to the pal
ace, the king reprimanded him severely.
'I met a countryman,' said he, 'and he
knows a great deal more than you, for
he told me it would rain, whereas you
told me it wold not.' The king then
gave him his walking papers and sent
for the countryman, who made his ap
pearance. 'Tell me,' said the king,
'how you knew it would rain."l. didn't
hnow,' said the rustic, 'my jackass told
me. 'And how, pray; did he tell you ?'
'By pricking up his ears, your majesty,'
returned the rustic.
"The king sent the countryman away
and procured the jackass of him, and
put him (the jackass) in the place the
philosopher had Bled.
"And here," observed John, looking
very wise, "is where the king made a
great mistake." "How so?" inquired
his auditors, eagerly. "Why, ever since
that time," said John, with a grin,
"every jackass wants an office."
ar "Pa, hoW many legs has a ship ?"
"A ship has no legs, my child." "Why,
pa, the paper says she draws twenty
feet, and that she runs before the wind."
tar Tom Moore compared love to a
potato, "because it shoots „from the
eyes." "Or rather," exclaimed Byron,
"becothis less by paring."
x tom' Chloroform is recommended as
excellent for scolding wives. A hus
band who has tried it says, "No family
should be without it." -
VOL. 10.-NO. 22.
Odds and Ends.
The Africans are the color-bearers of
the human race
It a man is chased by a dog, the race
may be "nip and tact," but the man will
probably get the "nip."
Some persons seem to have virtue
enough for their whole town—except
The young lady who promises one
gentleman and marries another hasn't
"the right ring" about her.
If a man presents you with a full suit
of clothes from iteatl to foot except a
cravat, he cuts your throat.
When we see a young lady with a
sweet beauty-spot on her cheek we feel
like kissing her on the spot.
Accept what is good, uo matter from
what source. Elijah would have been a
fool to refuse his food because a raven
brought it to him.
An absent witness, like a rich young
man invited home by the mother of
marriageable daughters, is called in to
Persons who shut themselves up in
their houses to avoid their creditors are
The man who forgets a great deal
that has happened has a better memory
than be who remembers a great deal
that never happened.
Many persons, unlike the angel at the
pool of Bethesda, never trouble the
A clergyman or justice of the peace
accomplishes great results by "putting
that and that together."
Fire is au excellent thing in the house,
but it should be in the chimney and riot
in the temper of the wife. It should
cook the victuals and not roast the hus
Dr. Young suggests that we should
take a note of Time. But how do we
know that the old Spirit will pay it at
A. preacher should not have a beam
in his eye, but, if he looks around Min
in his sermon, he will be sure to. have a
good many sleepers in it.
The Richmond Whig says that "south
ern blood is precious." The fluid that
the rebels, unfortunately for themselves,
seem to have the least use for now is
their gastric juices.
We don't know mhich is the most
thoroughly exhausted—the rebel purse
or the rebel stomach.
Dean Swift Vas once called to preach
a charity sermon. lie read his text,
which was in these words :—"Ho thst
giveth to the pour lendeth to the Lord ;
that which He bath will He repay him
again." "My hearers," said the Dean,
"you mark the offer. If you like the
security, down with the dust."
A man in Poughkeepsie, N. Y., with
in the last three weeks has been drafted,
married and burned out. He might
have recovered from the draft and the
burn ; but the marriage settled him.
Mr. Noggs, speaking of a blind wood
sawyer, says :—"While none ever saw
him see, thousands have seen him saw."
"I have just met yoar old sequaiti :
tance Daly," said an Irishman to, his
friend, "and was sorry too see he has al
most shrunk away to nothing. You are
thin, and I am thin, but be's thinner
than both of us put together."
"Hallo, my little man," said a gentle
man, from a window in the second story,
of his mansion, to a little urchin passing
by, who was gazing up with much ap
parent wonder, `.`l. guess you think there
is a little heaven up here ; don't you,
bub ?" "Well, yes, sir, I should if I
hadn't seen the devil sticking his head
out of the window."
"Father, ain't you opposed to monop
oly ?" cried a little fellow, as his parent
took up the brandy bottle. "Yes,
boy,"%vas the reply. "Then give me' a
drink, too." The father broke the bot
tle on the floor, and has not tasted li
A wit once asked a peasant, what part
he played in the great drama of life. "I
mind my own business," was the reply.
er The phrase "down in the month"
is said to have been originated by J 9,
nah about the time the whale svgallourad
or Generally, as son as a
,mark is I
supposed to have a little motisy t ju4,,
wife gets too lame to walk, and
have a carriage.
er Many a uilin'Ertongne is Uwe
edged sword, one of the edges cutti ng
his friend, and the other himself.