BLis/IF.D ERN' SATURDAY MORNING. AT ONE DOLLAR A-YEAR, PAYABLE IN ADVANCE, OR, $1:25 AT TILE END OF THE YEAR. OFFICE: CRULL'S ROW, FRONT-ST., MARIETTA, PA. ADVERTISEMENTS AT THE USUAL RATES A large addition to the JOB PRINTING depart ment of " THE MARIETTIAN " establish ment enables us to do everything in the Job line with neatness and dispatch, and at very low prices. The Bugle Calls ! The War has Begun! A War of Extermination against Bad Teeth, Bad Breath, Diseased Gums, 'Toothache, Earache, and Neuralgia. OUR ARTILLERY IS DR. WM. B, FIITRIPS DENTAL TREASURY. _ . A COMPLETE SET OF REMEDIES FOR PRESERVING THE TEETH, Purifying the Breath and Mouth, .and Curing Toothache and Neuralgia. CONTENTS Dr. Hurd's Celebrated MOUTH WASH, on bottle. Dr. Hurd's Unequalled TOOTH POWDER, one box. Dr. Hurd's Magic TOOTHACHE DROPS, one bottle. Dr. Uurd's UNRIVALLED NEURALGIA PLAS TER. Dr. Hurd's MANUAL on the Best Means of Preserving the Teeth, including Directions for the Proper Treatment of Children's Teeth. FLOSS SILK for Cleaning between the Teeth. TOOTH PICKS, etc., etc. Prepared at Dr. Hurd's Dental Office, 77 Fourth St., Brooklyn, (E. D.) Parer., ONE DOLL ion; or, SIX for $5. ice' The Dental Treasury makes a package eight inches by five, and is sent by express. Full direction for use is on each article. The following articles we can send sepa rately, by mail, viz: 'I he Treatise on Preserving the. Teeth sent, post- paid, on receipt of 12 cents,or four stamps. 'I he Neuralgia Piaster, for Neuralgia in the J'ace, Nervous Ileacache and Earache, sent, pest paid, on receipt of 1S cents, or six stamps. The NEURALGIA and RHEUMATIC PLASTER, (large size), for Pains in the Chest, Shoulders, Back, or uny part of the body, sent, post-paid, on receipt of 37 Cents. Address, WM. B. HURB & Co., Tribune Buildings, Ntw Yank. Dr, itnid's MOUTH WASH, TOOTH POWDER, and TOOTHACHE DROPS can not be sent by mail, out they , can probably be Obtained at your Drug or Periodical Stores. 11 they cannot, send to us for the DENTAL Treasury, Price, igl, which contains them. • NOW ARE I Dr. Hurces Preparations Good ; ?. The best eviuence that they are is, that their 'Unica friends and best patrons are those who hu ve, used them, longest. Dr. William B. hued is an eminent Dentist of Brooklyn, 'Treasurer. of the New York State I.lentist Association, and these preparations , have been used in his private practice for years, and no leading citizen of Brooklyn or Wil liamsburg, questions their excellence, while etninent Dentists of New York recomm them us the best known to the profession.— Without the aid of advertising, dealers have sold them by the gross. The Editor of the Brooklyn Daily Times an) s :-." We arc happy to know that our them' Dr. Hurd, is succeeding beyond all expecta tions with his Mouth Wash and Tooth Pow der. The great secret of his success rests with the tact that his articles are precisely NS hut they are represented to be, as we can testify Irvin their lung use." The well known p. T. Barnum writes:— found your l'ooth Powder 5..) good that my family have used it all up. We lied it the best Powder for the Teeth that we ever used. led obliged if you will send rue another supply ut the Museum at your convenience ; with bill." ' But their cost is so small that every one may test the matter for himself. 313 Beware of the ordinary Tooth Powders. Dr. iluld's Tooth Powder contains no acid, our alkali, nor charcoal, and polishes without wearing the enamel. Use no other. = Dr. Hurd's Mouth Wash and Tooth Powder will give young ladies that finest charm in woman—a sweet breath and pearly teeth Try them lathes. Dr. Hurd's Mouth Wash and Tooth Pow der will cleanse the mouth from all foul ex halations, and if used in the mornim , , will ruuke the breakfast taste sweeter and the day begin more pleasantly- hundreds of persons can testify to this. Try them, gentlemen. Dr. Hurd's Mouth Wash and Tooth Pow der arc the best preparations in the world for curing bad Breath and giving firmness and health to the gums. Hundreds of cases of Diseased Bleeding Gums, sore Mouth, Canker, etc., have been cured by Dr. Li urtPs astringent wash. Dr. Iturd's Mouth Wash and Tooth Pow der give an additional charm to courtship, and make husbands more agreeable to 'their wives and wives to their husbands. They should be used by every person having ARTIFICIAL TEETH, which are liable to impart a taint.to the mouth. Dr. Hurd's TOOTHACHE DROPS cure Toothache arising from exposed nerves, and are the best friends that•parents,,can have in the holies , to save their children hem torture and, themselves from loss of sleep and sympa thetic suffering. Farmers tint Mechanics! you - cannot well afford to neglect your teeth. For a trifling sum, you can now get preservatives, than Which Rothschild or Astor can getnothing better. Remember that DYSPEPSIA and CONSUMPTION OF THE LUNGS often originate in Neglect of Teeth. Send for the Treatise on Teeth, and read Dr. Fitch's ob am waiting on this subject. If too late to attest decay in your own teeth, save your children's teeth. Neuralgia Plasters. Dr. liurd's Neuralgia Non-Adhesive Plas ters•are the most pleasant and successful reme dies ever prescribad for this painful disease. The patient applies one, soon becomes drowsy, falls asleep, and awakes free from pain, and no . blister or other unpleasant or injurious consequences ensue. For Earache and Nerv ous Headache, apply according to directions, and rebel will surely follow. Nothing can be obtained equal to Dr. 1-lord's Compress for Neuralgia. Try them. They are entirely a novel, curious, and original preparations, and wonderfully successful. They are of two sizes, one small, for the face; price 15 cents, and the other large, for application to the body, price 37 cents. Will be mailed on receipt of lime and one stamp. What are the People Doing ? The American people are intelligent enough to appreciate preparations that contribute so ,Inueh to the happiness of those using them, and they want them. Every mail brings us letters, some ordering the Treatise on Teeth, some the Neurslgio Plaster, and not a few enclosing 37 cents for the Mouth Wash, to be Bent, by mail; but to these me ate compelled to reply that it is impossible to send a half pint bottle by mail. The people want these Remedies. Who will supply them? Now IS THE CHANCE FOR AGEMTS: Shrewd agents can make a small fortune in carrying these articles around to families,— The _Dental Treasury is the neatest article that man or Wcman call carry around. Send for one and ac e ,. or,Thetter. a dozen, which we will sell, as samples, for $7. Agents supplied liberally with Circulars. LE.r Now is the time to go-into' the business, to do good, and make profit. We are spending thousands for the benefit of agents. New England men or womerf!,,here is something nice, and a chance to take the tide sni . B. o HURD ntts flod• Add CO. ress, Wilt , Tribune Buildings, NEW Yoe's - . That remittances tray be made with confi dence, W. a. H. & co. refer to the Mayor of Itrooklyil ; to G. W. Griffith, President of ' , linnets' and Citizens' Bank. Brooklyn ; to Joy Coe & co., New York ; to P. T. Barnum, , , . New York, etc., ete. (I* c- ) 1;111._ . , rit4'4.cli.... Proprietor_ VOL 8. PRO PAT-RIA. Two Irishmen out of employ And out of the elbows as aisily, Adrift in a grocery store, Were smoking and taking it lazily; The one was a broth of a boy, Whose cheeks-bones turned out and turned in again, His name was Paddy O'Toole— The other was Mishter McFinigan. " I think 6f enlisten," said Pat, " Because do you see what o'clock it is? There is nothin' tidoin' at all But drinkin' at Mrs. O'Dockarty's It's not until afther the war That business times will begin again, And lightin's the duty of all" "You're right, sir," says Mishter McFungan " Bad luck to the Rebels ! I say, For kickin' up all this qobbery— They call themselves gintlemen, too, ' While practicin' murder and robbery; Now, if its gintale for to stale, And to take all your creditors in again, I'm glad Pm no gintleman born"— "You're right, sir," says Alishter ltifc Finigan 4, The spalpeena made bold' to remark, Their chivalry couldn't be ruled by us; And by the 'same . token, I think, They're never too smart to be fooled by us; Now, if its the nagers they ,mane, Be chivalry, then it's a sin again To light for a cause that's so black"— , "You're right, sir," says Mishter MeFinigan. nagur's a man you may say, And aiqual to all other Southerners, But chivalry's made him a brute,. And so he's a monkey to Northerners; Sure, look at the poor crathur's heels, And look at Jigs singular shin again, It's hot such iiiitlemen fight"— "You're tight, sir," says Mishter Melleigan "The nagor States wanted a row, And now, be me sowl, they have got in it; They have chosen a bed that is hard, However they strive for to cotton it. I'm thinkia' when winter comes on, They'll be inclined to come in again ; But then we must bate them at first"— "You're right, sir," says Misther 141eFihigan. " Och, hone! but it's hard that a swatch Good-lookin'young chap like ineself, tndade, Should lose his ten shillings a day, Because of the trouble the South has made ; But that's just the reason, you see, Why I should help the Union to win again ; It's that will bring wages once more"— " You're light, sir," says Mishter McFinigan. "Juost mind What old England's about, A sendiu' her troops into Canada, And all her ould ships on the coast, Are ripe for some treachery any day; Now, if she should mix in the war— Be jebers ! it makes me head spin again— Ould Ireland would have such a chance! " "You're right, sir," says Mislitei ivicFinigan. "You, talk about Irishmen, now, Enlistin' by thousands from loyalty, But wait till the Phoenix Brigade is called to put down British Royalty! It's tht n with the Sturs and the Stripes All Irishmen here would go in again, To strike for the Shamreck and Harp". "You're right, sir," Says MishterMeEtnigan. , .1 101 "Ugh, 'norther ! my blood's in a j laze, 'oeithld l ran iead hens Right lido flietcamOPthe bbstei;) 1 WhoseleechaS gd Icing have been bleeding us! The Stara and tthe Stripes here at, home,. To . Canada's walls ye, would 'gin again, And wouldn't, we rise., them at Cork 1" "You're right, sir," says MishterlVleFinigan. " And now at the South, do ye mind, There's plenty of Irishmen mustering, Deluded to fight for the wrong, By rebel missiatements and blustering; But once let ould England, their foe, To fight with the Union begin again, And sure, they'd desert to a man"— "You're right, sir," says illishter MeFinigan "There is never an Irishman born, From Maine to the end of Secessiondom, But longs fora time and a chance To fight for this country in llessiondom And so if ould England should try - With treacherous friendship to sin again, They'll be on one side at once"— "You're right sir,'? says Misli ter lltle,Finig,an " We've brothers in Canada, too— (And didn't the prince have a taste of them?) To say that to Ireland they're true, Is certainly saying the taste of them ; If, bearing our flags at our head, We rose Ireland's freedom to tvin again, They'd murther John Bull in the rear! "You're right sir," says Misther MeEinigan. ‘c of! right away to enlist, And sure won't the bonntY handy-O, To kape me respectably dressed,- And furnish me dudeens and brands O, thinkin', Me excellent friend, You're eyeing thatbOttle of gin again— You wouldn't mind tlifyirtra drop ?" • ' " YoU're right sir!" says Misther Mainigan Cr It seems to be an established me teorological fact, that a heavy discharge of artillery and small arms always brings on rain. Therefore, friends, whenever it rains you may begin- to shout, for, to us, battle is victory. wir Prentice says there is no braver soul on earth than the soul of our Foote. arayt6tnt punsillinutia afourrad fm fly an 1j (Attic. MARIETTA, MAY 3, 1862. Mrs. Passable Trott. BY N. P. WILLIS. Je suis comme vous. Je n'aime pas que les autres soient heureux The tererity with which I hovered on the brink of matrimony when a very young man could only be appreciated by a fatuitous credulity. The number of very fat mothers of very plain families who can point me out to their respective offspring as their once imminent papa, is ludicrously improbable. The truth was that I had a powerful imagination in my early youth, and no "realizing sense." A coral necklace, warm from the wearer—a shoe with a little round stain in the sole—any thing flannel—a bitten rose-bud with a mark of tooth upon it—a rose, a glove, a thimble— either of these was agony, ecstasy ! To any thing with curls and skirts, and especially if encircled by a sky-blue sash, my heart was as prodigal as a Croton hydrant. Ah me! But, of all my short eternal attach ments, Fidelia Balch (since Mrs. P. Trott) was the kindest and fairest.— Faithless of course she was, since my name does not begin with a T.—but if she did not Continue to love me—P. Trott or no P. Trott—she was shock ingly forsworn, as can be proved by several stars, usually considered very attentive listeners. I rather pitied poor Trott—for I knew • • Her - heart—it was another's, and he was rich and forty-odd. But they seemed to live harmoniously,-.and if I availed myself of such little cense: lotions as fell in my way, it was the re sult of philosophy. I never forgot the faithless Fidelia. This is to be a disembowelled narra; tiVe, dear reader—skipping from the maidenhood of my heroine to her widoiv hood, fifteen years—yet I would have yon supply here and there a betweeuity. My own sufferings at seeing my adored Fidelia go daily into , anoiher man's house and shut the door after her, was cutting. Though not in the habit of rebelling against human institutions, it did seem to me that the marriage cere mony had no business to give old Trott quite so much fur his money. But the aggravating part of it was to come ! Mrs. P. Trott grew prettier every day, and of course three hundred and sixty five noticable degrees prettier every year ! She seemed ineapable of, or not liable to, wear and tear ; and probably old Trott was a man, in -doors,. of very even behavior. And, it should be said, too, in explanation, that, as Miss Balch, Fidelia,was a shade too fat for her model. She embelished as her dimples grew shallower. .Trifle,by trifle, like the pro , guess- of a statue, Ithe superfluity fell away:from , naturels.,originaL Miss rßalch (as , designed tin -Heaven) ) , and when old Passable, died (and no one knew what. that P. stood for, till it was betrayed by the indiscreet plate on his coffin) Mrs. Trott, thirty-three years old, was at her maximum of beauty. Plump, taper, transparently fair, with an arm like a high-conditioned Venus, and a neck set on like the - swell of a French horn, she was consumidly good-looking. When I saw in the paper, "Died, Mr. P. Trott," I went out and walked past the house, with overpowering emotions. Thanks to a great many refusals, / had been faithful I I could bring .her the same heart, unused and undarnage(l,-,which I had offered her before ! I could gener ously overlook Mr. Trott's temporary occupation (since he had left us his money !)—and when her mourningshould be over—the very day—the very hour— her first love should .be ready for her, as new I I have said nothing of any evidences of continued attachment on the part of Mrs. Trott. She was a discreet person, and not likely to compromise Mr. P. Trott till she know the strength of his constitution. But there was one evi dence of lingering preference which I built upon like a ruck. I had not visit ed her during these fifteen years. Trott liked me not—you can guess why But I had a nephew, five years old when Miss Bid* was,nly "privately engaged," and as lik,eane, that boy, as could be copied by nature. He was our unsuspected, messenger of love, going to play in old Balch's garden when I was forbidden the house, unconscious of the billetdoux in the pocket of his pianofore ; and to this boy, after our separation, seemed Fidelia - to cling. Ile grew up to a youth of mind and manners, and • still she cherished him. Ile all but lived at ' old Trott's, petted and made much of—her constant companion—reading, walking Term 37.11ar a Year riding—indeed, when home from college, her sole society. Are you surprised that, in all this, there was a tenderness of reminescence that touched and assured met Ah— On revivent tonjours A ses premiers amours I thought it delicate, and best, to let silence do its work during that year of mourning. I did not whisper even to my nephew Bob the secret of my happi ness. I left one 'card of condolence after old Trott's funeral, and lived pri vate, counting the hours. The slowest kind of eternity it appeared The morning never seemed to me to break with so much difficulty and re luetance as on the anniversary of the demise of Mr. Passable Trott—June 2, 1840. Tiine is a comparative thing, I well know, but the minutes seemed to stick on that intermidadle morning. I began to dress for breakfast at four— but details are tirevme. Let me assure you that 12 o'Cloek A.. M., did arrive! The clocks struck it, and the shadows verified it. I could not have borne an accidental "not at home," and I reserved not to run the risk of it. Lovers; besides, are' not tied to knockers and ceremony. I bribed the gardner. Fidelia's boudoir, I knew, opened upon the lciwn, and it seemed more like love to walk in.' She knew—l knew—Fate and circumstances knew and had ordained 7 4hat that morning was to be shoved up, joined on and dovetailed to. our last separation.— The time between was to be blank. Of course she expected me. The garden door was ajar—as paid for. I entered, traversed the vegetable'beds, tripped through the flower walks, and— oh bliss l—the windoW`was open! I could just see the Egyptian 'urn' on its pedestal of sphinxes, into which I knew (per Bob) she through all her fading roses. I glided near. I looked in at the window. Ab, that picture! She sat with her back to me—her arm—that arm of rosy alabaster—thrown carelessly over her chair—her eggshell chin resting on her other thumb and forefinger—her eyelids sweeping her cheek—and a white—yes! a white bow in her hair. And her dress was snowy lawn—white, bridal white ! Adieu, old Passable Trott ! I wiped my eyes and looked again.— Old Trott's . portrait hung on the wall, but that was nothing. Her guitar ; lay on the table, and—did I see aright ? a miniature just beside it ! Perhaps 'of, old Trott—taken out for the last time. W .; ell—well re He was a very specta ble man, and had been very kind to her, most likely. "Ehern !"' 'Said I, StepPitig over the' sill; 4Fidelia ?" She started-and turned, and.certainly loo'ked - sdrprigedo • P . "MnG . • !" said she. . • • " It is long since' we parted !""I 'said, helping mytielf to ig afiaii.,". " Quite long !" said Fidelia. " So long that you have forgotten the name of G—?" I asked, tremulously. "Oh no !" she replied, covering up the miniature on the table by a-careless movement of her scarf. "And may I hope that name has not grown distasteful to you ?" I summoned courage to say. "N no ! I do not know that it has, Mr. G The blood returned to my) fainting heart ! I felt as in days of yore. " Fideliar said I, " let me not waste the precious moments. You loved me at twenty 7 —may I hope that I may stand to you a nearer relation ? May I ventu,retollink that our family is not unworthy of a union with the lalches ? that ; as Mrs. G—, you could be happy? Fidelia looked—hesitated—took up the miniature, and clasped it to her breast. • "Do I understand you rightly, Mr. G-----?" she tremulously exclaimed.— But I think I do I remember well what you were at twenty ! 'This picture is like what you were then. 7 with . differ ences, is . true, but still like! Dear picture !" she exclaimed again, hissing it with rapture. (HoW could she have got my minia ture ?—but no matter—taken by stealth ; I presuMe. Sweet and eager anticipa tion !) "And Robert has"roturn6d from "col lege, then ?" said she, inqufringly. ' " Not that I know of," said‘l.. "Indeed 1-thou ho has written to you ?" " Not recently. 1" , 44, poor,hay ! he anticipated! Well Mr. G---1 I will not affect to be coy where my heart has been so long inter- NO. 40. ested." (I stood ready to clasp her to my bosom.) " Tell Robert my mourning is over— tell him his name" (the name of G—, of course) "is the music of my life, and that I will marry whenever he pleases 1" A horrid suspicion crossed my mind. 'Pardon me 1" said I ; "whenever he pleases, did you say ? Why particularly, when he pleases ?" " La! his not being of age is no im pediment I hope !" said Mrs. Trott, in some surprise. " Loa at his miniature; Mr. G-1 It has a boyish look, it's true—but so had you—at twenty 1" Hope sank within me i I would have given worlds to be away. The truth was apparent to me—perfectly apparent, She loved that boy Bob—that child— that mere child—and meant to marry him ! Yet how could it be possible ! I might be—yes—l must be mistaken. Pidelia Balch—who was a woman when he was au - urchin in petticoat's ! she too think of marrying that boy ! I wronged her—oh . I wronged her ! 'But, worst conic to worst, there was no harm in .having it perfectly understood. "'Pardon too !" said I, putting on a look 'as if I expected a shOut of laughter for the mere supposition, "I should gather—(categ,brically, mind you !—only catagorically)—l should , gather from • . what you said just now—'(had I been a third personlistening, that is to say— with no knOwledge - of the parties)-1 should really have gathered that Bob— little Bob—was the„heppy man, and not I ! Now don't laugh at . me " You, the happy wan !—Oh, Mr. G—l you are joking I Oh no ! pardon me if I have unintentionally misled you—but if I marry again, Mr. G—, it will be a young man !1 I In short, not to mince the matter, Mr. G—, your nephew is to become my husband Inothing unfor seen turning up) in the course of the next week ! We shall have the, pleasure of seeing you at the wedding, of course! Oh no ! You ! I should fancy that no woman would make two unequal mar doges, Mr. G—. Good morning, Mr. G—!" I was left alone, and to return as I pleased, by the vegetable garden or the front door. I chose the latter, being somewhat piqued as well as inexpressi bly grieved and disappointed. But phi losophy came to my aid, and I soon fell into a mood of speculation. "Fidelia, is content 1" said. I to , my self—" content after all! She made up her Mind for me at twenty. But 'I did not stay twenty..' Oh no ! I unadvisedly, and without preparatiVely o cultivating her tastelor ihirty-ftve, becarn6 thirty. five.' 'AAA now — what sids shi;'to taste was not ' at' all `embarked' in Passablw Trott, and it stayed just as 'it was 'waiting to be cillea . up and used. She locks it up decently till old. Trott dies, and then reprocnicea—what ? Why, just whatshe has looked up—a taste for a young Man' of twenty—and just such a young man as she loved when she was twenty ! Bob—of course ! Bob is like me—Bob is twenty I Be Bob her hus band! But I can't say I quite like such con stancy 2 A HAYFIELD ANECDOTE.—An old gen tleman, who was always bragging how folks used to work in his younger days, one day challenged his two sons to pitch on a load of hay as fast as he could load. The challenge was accepted, and the hay wagon driven round, and the trial com menced. For some time the old man held his own very creditably, calling out— "More hay I more bay !"Ilicker and faster it came. The old man was neatly covered ; still he kept crying— " More hay ! more hay ?" At . length struggling to keep on the top of the dis ordered, ill-arranged heap, it began first to roll, then to slide, and at last off it went from the wagon, andithe old man with. it. What.are you down hero for ?" cried the boys. "I came, down, after. hay !",answered the old , man stoutly,. ' The New ileans Delta asks whether wesuppose that the United States troops ; eau live in the summer in the alligator I swamps of the South: NO; but we mean to drive the'-rebels'into then). ' The Richmond Enquirer says that the military authorities of the South have plighted tlieir faith for the establishing of the independence of their •Confeder acy. That's a very bad plight of theirs. Wa Never run in debt,' esiveiall:y with shoemakers —for then you can't say your sole is your own, A rETZSTAY STonr.—J, Persian story, arricgd at a \ , and sent his disciples forwal. pare a sapper, while he himself', on doing good, walked through the into the market place. And he saw at the corner of the market some people gathered together looking at an object on the ground, and he drew near to see what it might be. It was a dead dog, with a halter around his neck, by which he appeared to, have been dragged through the dirt, and a viler, a more abject, a more unclean thing never met the eye of man. And those who stood by looked on with abhorrence. "Faugh!" said one, stopping his nose, "it pollutes the air." "flow long shall the foul beast offend our sight ?" said another. "Look at his torn hide," said a third, " one could not even cut a shoe out of it.— "And his ears," said a forth, "all dragged and bleeding." "No doubt," said a fifth, "he hath been hanged for stealing."— And Jesus heard them, and looking down on the dead creature, he said : "Pearls are not equal to the whiteness of his teeth." Then the people turned to him with amassment, and said among them selves—" Who is this ? This must be Jesus of Nazareth ? for only he could find something to pity and approve, even in a dead dog;' and, being ashamed, they bowed their heads before him, and each went his way. Trz BARBER'S .R.Azon..—Mr. Dickson, a colored barber, in a large New Eng land town was.shaving one of his cus tomers, respectable citizen, one morr.• ing,, when a conversation occurred be tween them respecting Mr. Dickson's former conection with a colored church in that place: " I believe you are connected with the church in Elm street, are you not, Mr. Dickson ?" said the customer " No, sah, not at all, " What, are you- not .a member of the African church ?" "Not dis year, sah." "Why did yon leave your connection, Mr. Dickson, if I may be permitted to ask?" "Well, I'll tell you,sah,"said Mr. Dick son, sharpening a concave razor on the the palm'' of hi's `hand, "it was just like dis Ijined the church in good fait ; I gave ten dollars to - ward de stated Gospel da fus' year, and de church people call me 'Brudder Dickson the second year my buisness was not so good, and I gib only five dollars. Pat year people call me Mr. Dickson. Dis razor hurt you sal?" • "No the razor goes tolerably well.? "Well, sah, the third year I feel berry poor; bad sickness in my family ; and din't gib nothin' for prefichin.' Well sah arter dat dey call .me 'dat ole nigger Dickson'—and I left em."—New York Albion. A HARD SEIELL, SERMON.-.-"My breth ren," said a hard sheel Baptist, • who was holding forth one Sunday, "if a man's full of religion you can't hurt him; There was three Arabian Children— they put 'em in a, fiery furnace hetted seven times hotter than it could be het, and it didn't singe a hair on their heads. And there was John the Evangeler they put him—and where.do.you think, breth ren and sisters; they:put him ? Why they put him into a caldronic of bilin' ile, and biled him all. night, and it didn't faze his shell.. And there:was-Daniel—they put ,him into a lion's •ded. And what, my fellow.tray.ellers and respected audi tors, do you think he was put intO:a den for ? Why, for praying three times a dny. Don't be alarmed i brethren and sisters; I don't. think any of you will ever get into a lion's den !' A SMART YANKEE GIRL.—We relate a true story, which is a gratifying instan ce of successful Yankee enterpirse. A young girl, belonging to a respectable family in reduced circumstances, four years ago learned to operate sewing machines, and .then went to Peru to teach the art to Spanish girls and to establish the business in that country. She has since enjoyed uniform good health, and has realized between three and four thousand dollars a year beyond her expenses. About a year ago, she married a wealthy old Spaniard, who, dying, bequeathed to her a fortune of eighty thousand dollars, and thus placed her in very comfortable and independent circumstances. She now writes to urge her relatives to emigrate to Peru and share her good fortune. e. 'An inscription, it is said, may be found' in an Italian graveyard : "Hero lies Etella, who transported a large for tune to heaven in 'acts of charity, and has gone thither to enjoy it. , The intimates•that some of the rebel lo l idkvs, are ”h ang i ng bads." They ought: no l t to, Vang baglt or to bang forward but to bang perpen dicularly: ' " The Scriptures speak of, men's asking for bread and I reeeiring stony. The rebels' call for salt and get : pepered. They think they get the wrong condi ment. The Union armies• take no step bd:C:li . ward; the rebel armies none rorward. The rebels were driven away from.ls land No. 10 by Foote-balls. Our arinitSs wilt spike the rebel - guns and Lail the rebels themselves. . el
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