a •s• • . , -. ,.1 1 •» 72.,.....1.-Th• n • k .. , ' . • • ... • , 6'. , . e. - ' ''' , ff . •- '•;'•.• ' ' N.. ;': • A , . . ' I ' '''''', ' ' ' ' * • . . : . • • .• • , 4) ' 4 _ rim ) i ' lle ii .' ' ~/ :: k,• : • ry - - :. ::- ' ~ :'' . ..'r p., - _ 0 .• . A .. l i E ll i l'-- .. ,•••-• ~,. " ' ./ I _ o l_ 4 ,„.•_., • , ' : . , 4. . • -1-'l-QC * ' 5l - 2/ 7. ' 1 ' ' 1 •1; -.Cs'F':..••• 1 . „._ .. _ .;;:'.• . 1 .. 1 • a %• , ........ • 4 333 r - vv. 231etlm. VOLUME' XXIII. 11011 l PORNITERB! WHITNIORE, Wholesale and Retail Dealer, and Manufactorreret HOUSE FU RNITURE, AND UPHOLSTERER. OREENC ASTL a, PA., 'takes this method of intorming his customers and the ,üblic that he has t II i ' 1 E 0 URNITURE from ten to twenty per cent. Owing to the advent te: es ha has over o i . u will sell Furniture at a lees price than any other Manufacturer in the state. Having • THREE STORE ROOMS filled with every variety of Farniture, from a plain common article, to the finest in use, he feels war ranted in saying that de can please all tastes. EXAMINE LIS MM= COTTXGE—lmitation of Walnut $5, 8,7, to 8 Solid Walnut SBNNY LIN D-3-Arch Top Panel, Walnut " " 14, 10 to 11l " " 6-Arch Top Panel, Imitation Roe nd, Corner•foK9Pilielii - Wilifut carved " Foot, Oval Panel Wal nut, Moulded 30, 35 to 40 ANTIQUE—New - style - ' 25, 30, 35,40 to 00 riX6 ANTIQUZ CriIAYIBU SCUM Full Marble 130 to 175 COT, °HA MISER SUITS, 35,38,40, 45 to 60 1601.,1D WALNUT SUL VS GO, 75 to 85 BUREAUS. Imitation Wal., 4 Drawers, with gimp wood top sl4 j 14 to H Imitation Wal. 4 drawcrs.with glue, Marble top titoliLLWal.A_Dravtets,_wito Elsa wood top u 4{ Marble top. .1111iWi TABLES. puling, Table, six logs, lirfeiski Ist do four 14Ige, Marble top do. 20 different paters, 0, 10, 12 to 15 Extension Tables, per foot, 2 t, 3 CHAIRS. Windsor or Wood Seats a Om ) from $5, 6. 7,t0 10 Cane Seats, per half dqz., 9,10,1.1, 11.50, 12 50 to 30 (Have over 800 of the above 00 land.) Wood Seat Rocking Chairs, from 1.25 to 5 Cane Seat Rocking Chairs, from 2 to 7 Willow Sent. Rocking Chaim. from Ste 10 Spring Seated Chairs. upholstered in 'Hair Cloth. Monate!, Rep its Ter• •ry, u ngint in price. ver half (lox, from 25 to 71 R ',eking i.:ltairs, upholstered as above 9 to I I Trte-a-Tetes, upholstered as above, (garb) front - 20, 22, fiO, 21,401 Box or Plain Bofas, from 11, 20 to 40 Lounges, upholstered in Heir Cloth, Broca tel, Her, Terry and Damask, Spring Seats, (each) front 7, 11, 9, 10, it, Is, to $0 WARDROBES. Imitation Walnut, for ISoliLl Walnut, Also, mide Boards, Wash Stands, Mattresses, and in fact everything in the Furniture line. The Jim, its of an advertieement is entirely too narrow to give a full list of prices. and kinds of furniture manu factured at this estiahlishmPnt. CALL AND SEE role YOURSELVES. tar I:emezaber the plies., • I. H. WHITMORE, Greencastle, Pe. dee 1:67] CASON'S STELLAR OE! ---.....0.....--... r 4.1 HE alarming incresse in the number of fright ful accidents, resul:i g in terrible deaths and destruction of valuable property, caused by the in discriminate use of oils, known under the name of Petroleum, ptoluipta ao to Cflil your special attention to an article which will, wherever used, remove the canoe of Stich accidents. We allude to CARSON% to:TEI.II4AB OIL for ILLIJYRENATIATU PURPOSES , The proprietor of this oil has for several years felt the necessity of provi , hrig far, and prettenticg to the pubic, as a substitute for tits dangerous com pounds which are sent broadcast over the country, as an oil that is safe, brilliant, and entirely reliable. After long series of laborious end costly experi intuits, he has succeeded in providing, and now of fers to the public, such a substitute, is "CARSOAPS STELLAR OIL." It should be used by every family 'because it liege _ beyond a question. The Drimiry purpose in the preparation of STELLAR OIL has been to make it eerfeetly Safe, thus inburing the lives and prop erty of tined who oter it. its' present otandird of SAFETY and BRILLIANCY will aleays be main %slued, for upon this the proprietor depends for sus wining the high reputation the STELLAR OIL now copy.. To prevent the adulteration of this oil with the explosive compounds now know under the name of kerosene, &e.. it is put up for family tiso in Ave-jullon cur, each can being sealed and stamped with the trade-mark of did proprietor; it cannot, therefore, be tampered with between 'the inanutitc• tater and consumer. Nome is genuine without this srade-mark. It is tho duty and interest of all dealers and con. AUMOI2 of illuminating oil .to use the STELLAR ()IL only, because it alone is known to be safs'and .roitable. It is fur sale by • Amberson, Benedict & Co., WeYneabore. Manton & Stotler, Marion. • E. IL Winger, Quincy. Gelwicks & Burkhart, Chainbershurgr W. D. Dixon. tit. Thomas. • • .1. Hostetter & Co., Greencastle. Thomas C. Grove, ledercerssurg. Jos. L. Ritchey, • JARDEN & CO., Waorats.ita Amu, No 136 South Front St., Philadelphia. tab 2-1870 FAIRVIEW MILL ! FAMILY FLOUR, ETC. THE undersigned having refitted and added ell the lotert improvement* to his Mill. (formerly' Ciao) announces to the public that be is now Insfacsurint or superior stsicki of PA Al IL N ,O LT It which will be delivered to, Pcrsons civet pass. He has also en hand a supply of X 2' UFF of all kiiails.wbicb be will 's of retail at the Mill, or deliver if desired, 'vest ":tuarket -rata: Having' refitted his 'he fawn •improved' - machinery ha feels ~ to give genend satisfaction. intekwean be hid at iteid'e those ' \t may be Ica. - 'arket pries paid 'hot WINEA7 • 'for wanted. • • • alvw rAtressoN. MEI 8,9, to 10 25 to 30 17, 18 to 20 20, 22, 25 to 32 25 30, 22 to 60 10, 12 to 14 ,„_/17,50 to $0 $lO, 12, 14, II to. 16, 18,20, 26 to 6 NEW TOWN OF AYER, MASS. Inauguration •Specch . Dr. J C. Ayer The is alteration of the new town of Ay er. Mass ,en the 6th ult . , came off in fine style._ Many. distinguished persons were present. As the town was named after the "great medieise Inns" tl+e Dr, after thank. Ng the auliesee for the •eordiality of the greetialr, spoke as follows: Ladita and Gentlernen:—Oa the Wes tarn twist of Scotland where it slopes into the Irish See, a river, rising en the moan tales of the jolter land, winds down among the hills sad empties into the Firth of Clyde. From remote time it has been called Ayer from an old Scotch word 'Ayer' &easing an eagle's nest—the river of the eagle's nest Near its mouth and aeon tigieus harber, long stood a hamlet which became a royal burg or town named from the ii•et, and now a bout oae.third as large as Lowell—the city of Ayer. For more than a thousand years it has been noted in the history of Scotland. Daring the wars of Robert Bruce it was one of his resorts, and was especially favored by him because he was there eared of leprosy. Oliver Cromwell made it on? of the depots and headquarters of hie army in his attack upon Scotland, and one of his old forts is sow the Citadel of Ayer. Bat about ell its distinstione, Ayer was the birth-place of the poet Burns. And what a poet 1 What a voice has be giten to all the eadearmente of home! How has he hallow. ed the Arottage and ull it covers—weans .and wife, patches and poverty, beaus, barley, ale, hardship and the poor man's toil. Bow he wraps with tenderness whatever he names, even hie bleak leagues of pasture, the stab. hle field, tee, snow, sleet and rain; brooks, birds, mica, thistlestand heather. , His 808. ay Dose, John Anderson, my Jo John, Ault Lag Syne aid Highland Mary roll round the world in ever ring,ieg, symphony With what is purest and best in human nature Hie song? wen and melt the hearts of petit aod maidens, bring selaoa $ll the sorrowiog and courage to the overburdened by that - riot. His iespiratinn.has mt the Amnions to mu sie in stratus that are Immortal. No other man ever made a langnage otos eic,-bat. he has rendered that lowland Scotch a Doric dialect of fame. The name of his home sad hie Wooed river Ayer was lifted on Ike wings of his pathos, and now the sp• preaching traveler yearns' to reach the spot his genies hat wet Wm& Meng the border' of the me in a patellae gram and evirroanding tin cowl so a county ut the time name—Ayrshire. ' • It wesld weary year patience to' hear the UMW/ of el. ancestors from one .ancient WAYNESBORO% FRANKLIN b'OUNII, PENNSYLVANIA. THURSDAY MORNING, APRIL 20 3PCONITICIA.r-s. 01113 TER AGO. One year ago : a ringing voice, A clear blue eye. And_clastering_eurla of golden hair— Too fair to die• • Only a year : no voice, no smile • No glance of eye, No clustering code of golden hair— Fair but to die. One year ago: what loves, what schemes Far into life, Whet joyous hopes, what high res3lves, What geherous strife ! The silent pictures on the wall, The burial stone . Of all that beauty, life and joy, remain alone ! One year—one year— one little year, • And so much gone ! And yet the even flow of life Moves solemnly on ; The grass grows green, the flowers bloom fair Above that head ; No Sorrawing-tint-of-leafor-apes says ho is dead. No pan:loor hush of merry birds That sing above, Tells us how coldly sleeps below The form we love. The - vail, the veil, so thin and atron Twit us and thee ; The mystic veil—when shall it fell, That we may see. • Not dead, not sleeping, not seen gone ! But present still, And waiting for the coming hour— Of God's sweet will, Lori of the living and the dead, Oar Saviour dew, We lay in silence at Thy feet This sad, sad-year. TWO P1011%113. An old jail house with-medom wide, And sweet with clover on each . side, • •• , ~ s r.mou , The docir with woodbine wreathed about, , Oh, if I could but fir away . From this dull spot, the world to see, How happy, happy, happy. How happy should I be Amid the city's constant din, A man who round the world has been, Who, 'mid the tumult and the throng. Is thinking, th inkingall daylong, 'Oh ! could I only tread once more The field pathto the farm-house door, Tke old, green meadow could I see, How happy, happy, nappy • How happy should I be !' 32IOSOMIICAXJ8Z.TX". • Az . trictOporialarLt .2Wiz.,l*Parteitiver. John of Ayr, then John Ayr, down throng% the centuries to this Ayer now before you; throttles their vicissitudes of poverty and plesty—of fortune and misfortune, how they have htterrearried with England, Ireland aid Beotland, and later with,the Americans, who are an exeellentmisture of them all. My Friends-31 on. have chosen the Mime inherited for your town with extraordinary nanimity, and have thereby conferred an ooer Ewa me, the proper acknowledgment o which 1..d0 not feel fully able to , express. ut I beg you to be assured that it ie sp., , resiated and that it will be gratefully , e-t . petit; while life remains to me, on beyond that by - My, children after me. If this name has become noted among the many worthier around • you, that is greatly due to its publicity.. May I be permitted to state whose() that name? Until within it few centuries all the civilized nations of the globe were pent up on the Easterti continent. Two or.threa hundred years ago they leakei over into thin; few wad fearfully at first, thee more and more, but always in their settlements timidly bagging the Atlantic coast. With in the last two or three generations they have burst Woe it wore, and over-ran these vast continents of the Weds New they ace scat tered here and — possess — these usensuteless stretches of mountains and vall‘r, plains, forests and prairies, with the bound lees pimpas and mountain • ranges of South ice,Au a Ferruns. gets lations — tivedia — vit• — Ines and towns, thickly settled together where physicians wire plenty and near at hand Now, the people are widely scatter. ed,ia many eeetions 'of,;thete matenturies_l For great numbers the timely treattneat of -physicians cannot - be - had ; - over - large — tritetti of country gro - cd - oosoespetent physieiani ego. not be. had at all. They canoe visit patients enough many miles apart I. live by their profession, nor can they , carry tnedioines o. nough with them oti horseback - for their re. guiremeate. Hence has arisen, is these ma cre times, a necessity for remedies ready at hand, with direction. fur their use—a pres ent recourse for relief in the exigeleiee of sickness, when no other aid is near. It is a new necessity consequent upon the changed condition of human life—s want I have spent my yarn in supplying, and I will tell you something of its extent. Our labratery makes every day some 630,000 portiere or doses of our preparations. These are all t , • . . . •. , to the population of fifteen cities se large as Lowell, taking them every day ( tor sickness keeps no Sabbaths) nor for ono* only, but again and again years after years, through nearly one third of a °eatery. Wo all join in the jokes attest medicines as we do about the Doctor's naissioo to kill, and the clergy man's insincerity, and the lawyer's cheating. Yet each of these labors among the most se rious realities of life. Sickness and its at• macho. suffering are co joke, neither in the treatment of them. Thi■ system of trans perta:lle relief, tis be made available to the . pa )ple, must keep its remedies fresh in their. memories. This is done by advertisement, taking the ran of the newspapers with which we contract (some 1900 annually) is struck off in such numbers, that when piled upon each other fiatwise, like the leaves of a book, the thickness through them is sixteen miles. addition, it takes some several millions of pamphlets and several millions of circulars to meet the public demand for this kind of information. Our annual issue of pamphlets alone, laid solid upon each other, make a pile eight and one. quarter miles high. The circulars measured endwise reach 1894 miles, and these assertions are matters of nimbi,• nastiest certainty. Whatever the estimation in ,which these publications may be held here, they reach the fireside of millions upon mill ions of WEN who do treasure sad regatd them, and who in their trials do heed the counsel they bring. Not only over these great Western coati nents but throughout that other laud so lit tle known to you, under our feet, the Aus tralian continent, there are few villages as large as this which are not familiar with the name ytla have chosen, gad employing the remedies that bear it. Thus, gentlemen, have I striven in my humble sphere tc,:render some service to my fellow men, tied to deserve among the alflie ted and unfortunate lose regard" for t h e name which your kind partiality, hangs on these walls around me We may look for• ward with eatifident hope to the renown you will• gather under , ft, nod the prosperity which there is reason to trust the future has in store for you. Situated as "you are, here on one of the main arteries between the west and east, between the great . industries of the plough and spindle, you must aid in their exchanges and thrive with them. Soon these theme's will be opened wide and pouring through your precincts streams of men and ruerehandise that will need your fortheranoe, awl must contribute to your grawth. Located hgre in the centre of New Eag• land, to what dearer spot can yea. turn that men inhabit? Beginning life ,rieb . with the honors of your mother towni whose influence through her schools and. her scholars is 'of itself an, inheritance. With such example. as Lswreuee, Roussel', Hoar, what may you not hope for of usefulness in the eauneils of the State and Nation? (inverse, our cc:iodide& with that of the European cation., alternately torn and im provished with ware,. credit it as you may to the better education of the Peopls. end you will realise the value of the example old Die thee Groton basset you, so worthy of your. 'ambition to follow. Build schools for your &titling, sad find talent to teach them, then intelligeeee and integrity in prosperity Acid happy homes_ will be your sure reward' Gentlemen, I' have detained' you too t long. Oppressed with the fear that t donut deserve the distinction you bestiow, 'I pray - God u, make me worthier, and , to smite upon you with his perpetteo blessings. TI4O Bachelor in Love A baoheler is love testis a 'dimple or two, grows melancholy, rends poetry: land looks at the moon;, is nervous about his necktie and consults his aunt as to what kind of bate girls most admire; changes the style of his dress frequently, but is never braided. His countenance is as changeable as his neckties, ndw she had smiled, and ho is radiant; now she had frowned, and he - wears a furrowed brow, and looks in at the apothecary's win• dotes, and thinks then of laudanum. Ho re• solves to settle down, and limits, himself as to cigari.___lf_his laundress sends hi— -Tai- a sittrt-front not quite perfect, it, grieves him to the heart's core.. He passes the most golden. haired damsels without a gime. He goes no more to see beriesque. His bou quets are anonYmonsly sent to the objects of his adoration. He is hourly afraid et re vealing his aoutlition of heart, bat snakes it manifest unconsciously to all beholders. Fi eadish passions dwell within hilt briest. Ade hears that she has been at theopera with young Fiasco, and wants to kill him. , Ile says fiercely in society that bus is laver •f dueling, and should he - call — a — man — ont Itet wesld aim at his heart. When i Tilikioa *skid him 'if Dinah is net lovely?' he Dye, 'Good heavens, no!' Only 'one is beautiful to him. lie would like to work hard and make a fortune bat ho can not do it. lie hotr;fies his employer by entering es an item in the ledger 'l,OOO Angels' lie is suddeti ly seen to gasp his brew at dinner time, to the horror of the waiter, who believeing him• to b• choking, beats him on the back cad offeeshim water. lie goes surreptitiously offto so-called clairvoyants, who describe 'a light oemplected_young lady, air, and her face - turned your way, and her hand in her hand if you can't get over the cruse betwixt you.' He thinks the cross is young Fiasco, and grows dangerous. Suddenly you see the bachelor in love amazingly altered. lie smiles,, looks happy, eats comfortably and nods to his old enemy, Fiasco. - Then you may be sure that he his, somewhere in kis bosom, "a eertaie carte de visite, end that the original of the picture has blushingly advis ed him to 'ask pa.' Critical Periods of Human Life .—From the age of forty to' that of sixty a roan who properly Instates himself znay be eenaidered in the prime of life Hie main; red siren th of oonotitutios tendon him almost impervious to the attack of disease, and all his funotioas are in the highest or der. (laving port a year or two past sixty however he arrives at a critical period of ex- istence; the river of Death &Wit before him and he remains at a standstill But nth• wart this river is a viaduct, called 'Turn of Life,' wbieh, if crossed in safety, leads to the valley of !Old Age, round which the riv er winds, and then flows beyond without a boat or causeway to affect ha passage. The bridge is, however, construoted of fragile materials, and it depends upon how it is trodden whether it bend or break. Gout ,ap oplezy and other bad eharacters, are also in the vicinity to waylay the traveler, 'and thrust him from the pass; but let him gird up his loins, and provide himself with per. feet composure. To quote a metaphor, the 'Turn of Life' is a turn either into a prolong ed walk or into the grrave. Tho system and power, having reached their utmost ezpan- Hien, now begin either to close like fldwers at sunset, or break down at once. One juju. dieious stimulant,. a single fatal ezottemeut, may force it beyond its strength , whilst a Careful supply of props, and the withdrawal of all that tends to force a plant, will sustain it in beauty and in vigor until night has nearly set ie. A Sensation. Louisville, Ky., is just now excited over a strange prediction by a young German lady, Carrie Clein, residing there. She claims to have been coder the influence of spirits, or mysterious Meucci, at intervals fur twelve years. She was thown into a trance, she eays. when seven years et age, and again when she was fourteen, lasting fur seven months, daring which she predicted the Primo German war and its results. Resent. lv she bas been thrown into a similar state and on Friday week made the following pre diotlons in the pretence and hearing of a re• porter of the Louisville Commercial: 'ln seven week's from to day (march 24), a war sign will appear in the heavens, which will last Mien weeks and then cease.— This will be the forewarning of a terrible war betitaen the whites and delaeks io the United States. The first 'battle in the war of races will be fought in April, 1872, and At war will be brief but terribly bloody. After this war has ceased three years another war sign will appear in the heaven!), indicating a renewal of the present war in Europe.— Tate war will last shoat three years and all Prussia will glorify. Nine yeare after this war ceases, another sign:will appear in the heavens above the whole world, which will forewarn people all over the world of a re hewn war. This will be terrible, even an. to ode part as unto another of the whole face of the world. It will last nine years, and wilt temporatily cease fur seven °years, wheir beasts wearing seven horns, each the Lorin of a hug e sabre will appear to the world in large duler', and the people inhabiting the world will stand in fear. The oceans wil: become red and no' vessel can stand up en their fade. Men will tease to write.— Tea years after the appearance of this beast open earth, a cross will appear upon the face of the sun, and although the people were surprised to see the moon clover the sun, they with be still more surprised,when they see this. The cross will over .the sue lot seveoteeti years, when .God' Almighty will destroy the earth. / My friends take warn lag. Wimp()lis daily pads 300,000 asp The , Apple bottle On the mantelp .ce. of toy gmndukother's best parlor, among other mat Vela, was an ap ple in a phial. It quite filled up the body of the bottle;arid• toy. childiish wooderment eoestaotly was 'How could it have got there? By stealth I climber: to chair ideas) it' the bottom would unscrew; or if their had been a joint an the glass throughout the phial— :" was satisfied by a careful ohaervarien that neither of these theories.could be supported and the apple remained to me an enigma anti mystery. ; One day;walking in the garden, I .atv-it-all.---Thereron-a-tkowne a phial - f • ed, and within strtifly apple. which was growing witthinlthe cry , tal_The_apple_wea_l put into the bottle white it was' little and grew there. Just so we .tenet °etch _little men and women who swarm our streeta—we call them boys and girls—and, introduce them - within the limits of the church; for a las! it in hard indeed to reacilvithem: when they have ripened into onreleasoese The First .Ghtes. f' attest mot a fast youth on ehip• -board Who said gaily. I- care for nothing bet the first glass, but when the first glass Ole down it feels so lonely that I seed a see: cod to keep it oompauy, when they begin quarreling with each ether, aed I send down a third.to put things d #u tight, whet, they turn and ask the new comer what he has todo with their-family matters; thpa goes dawn a forfEth and they all enter into a base sonsFiraoy to make me dime drunk.' The way of complete safety is so plain that he who never le - e - the - firet - ircp — kamliiveri will never get drank But letting. the first glass-down rniss - mora - than - onelitth - of - the boys of the State. Ttpday I ;tame :toms the Ceeneotient river in a skiffi now if it was so perilous .te cross that one in every five was lost, i sever ahoald have Venture-tt-No one is his senees Would teeter°. Bqnsill nowise is it to venture upon the perilous flood of fir Moderate:drinking. Nobody mean to be a drunkard. The tippler says, 'I am safe,' the drunkard repels yos with, '1 can drink or I can let it alone,' and the dying in obriate totters to his grave under the dein. Bien that he eau control his appetite. Young man, vesture net on that deceitful tide. Wine is s mocker, and who is deceived thereby is not wise. THINBB WORTH FORMISTII4.—II It lllMost frightfalr-and—ailogether humiliating, t o think how meoh there is in the common on going of domestic and social life which de serves nothing but to be instantly and for. ever forgotten. Yet it is equally amain b6w large a ekes seem to bare on - otrirerime - Incas hat to repeat and perpetuste_these very things. This is the vocation of gossips--an order of society that perpetuatos mere rule chief than stli-the-combined plague, of Egypt put together. You may haws noticed how manyspeeobes there arc wh iehare mischievous only by Wog beard a secoad time, aid what an army of both sexes are sworn to POO to it that the fatal repetition shall he had.— Blessed be that• man or woman who ca. let drop all the bars and thistles, instead ,of picking and fastening them on the passen gem. Would we only let the vexing and malicious sayings die, how fast the lancer ated and scandal ridden world would ge t healed aid tranquilized ! A resident of Taunton, Massaohusettn, bee obtained his ice for summer use, for sev eral winters put, in the following manner: Preoariag about fifty empty flour• barrels, at a cost of twenty cents eaob, ho gradually pours in water until each contains a• solid mass of The barrels ate then put away in his cellar and entirely covered with saw dust. AI ice is required, a barrel is tap ped. The follawiag recipe fer the cure of in flamed eyes is given: 'Take a potato, and af ter gnarteriag it, gate the heart ay flue as possible, and platm the gratings between a piece of cambric muslin. Place the poultice over the eyes Mimed, and keep it there fif teen naiuutes. • Continue the operation three successive eights, and a perfect owe eostase It is worth trying by those efflioted with MO eyes, •• A patron of a certain newspaper once said . to a publisher.. 4241 r. Printer, how is it you have never called on too for to pay for 'oar paper 1 'Oh,' said the man of types, .'wq never ask a gentleman for !nosey.' • . 'lndeed,' replied the patron, 'how do you manage to get along when they don't pay you ?' 'Why,' said the editor, 'after a certain time we ouuuludu he is no gentleman art we ask him.' .0h —ab —yea— I sco. Mr. Editor, please give me a receipt.' and hands him over a V 'Make my name all right on your hooka.' •Papa, ought a reveller flog no for , what did not do r' Certainly not my boy,' repli• ed the father. 'Well; eaid the little fellow, "ho did today when I didn't do my autu.' 'Fbere Wes, Way years ago, a Lazy Men's Society. Uue the articles required that nu man belonging to the society should ever be in a hurry. Now it buippebed on a time that a Village doetor was driving poet• haste through the street to visit a patient The members of the' society saw him, and on his returt. reminded aim of hi' last rid tag, and violation of the roles. 'Not at all' 4aid the dottier. 'the truth is, my horse was. determined to go, and Lfelt too lazy to stop' him.' They did not catch him that time. Pr N eth "og the first battle of Bull RAW a 'Brigadier Gemini discovered a soldier eon cleated in a hole is the ground, and ordered eim toloin his regiment. The man looked aim full in the fate, phial his thumb upon pis nose, and replied: 'No you don't ,old allow • • you want this hole yourself.' . Assa.cio• A's 460 Z'' - 31 - el obit, Dat Is Goot As s geotreinart from New !ark watt talc. ing glosti•of wino at the St., Louis, Ismer of Freemen and Hopkins street in Cineinea ti, about threo weeks ago, bo observed at an other tablet, sewed with otheim. a Gannon who seemed uneasy, and anxious, as if these tnight , have both Vrauco-Prussian disagree. remit between his seer and himself. > Pres ently in ran a !kiln girl, her lace radiant with smiles ezeinithingl "Oh, lather, we're got s lit . tto boy at how!' . • tat ie goot,' soil - the Dutchman, on the anxiety dihanpeated from his countenance ; der glances.' • • Not many tannten elipsed before in rush• ed the tittle girl again with the announce• edene •Oh• fethcr, we've got two little boy., at bomb :• The Dutchman looked a-great deal eston. Asked Imo rltugeter aatiplied at Ulla reduadooey, bat titling at length to the magnitude of the e pectoitm : deo, dit it also gout. Fill up der glamors.' • In a few minutes again appeared the ra. diant taiesaenger, with the satouuding pro. clamation 'Oh. lather, weve got three little boys si home Thie, Ptllg ton much even for Teutonic Ina. osailotlit Tiler° was no ierttier call for elapses: •: Neil, doe,' rays he, 'I goes,up dere bed I Melo tetiikalt_tarn_biterners -- BerlIND VRITs.-- It iS not the peso tiro of pretty ladies to wear a veil. Not even eequetry disposso with the pleasure oe Attiring a lovely countenance, sad the moot _modest_ and_retit ein'g beauty-likes -to - be ad — mired for regularity and deliesey of her fee tares. Thee* refleotions passed rapidly throne* the wind of a well known New Orleans meg istrate riding up town_reeently—lly-hie side est a lady, w_h_o_from a single_glanee -of her counrensece he imagined that he new. At laps heroontured the retairk that the day was p learnt •Yee.' murmured the female.- - 'Why do yarn wear a veil P inquired the dispenser justice. 'Lest I attract attention' 'lt is the province of gentlemen to admire,' replied the gallant SU% of taw• 'Net when they are matried. •nut I'm not.' 'lodged'.' Jh i -tto+Vot—e-Imeh ales r The lady quietly removed her veil, die claming su the astonished mogistrata ilte taco . of his mother ist leer. flehad busissees eke where emidenly. • ==3 A Jerseyman lost as axe over twenty yettrs ago, which he has jobt found tinder his bed. Ms lite been made matey py by house °letting: hsvo a baby in Vermont that talks fluently at she age of nine nsonths. The ite miser who gives this . intereatieg tiomeatie jot ken Dot sontoclersd it necessary to Cato k4hc,..piaz of that Baby. An eceantrio minister ill, a large parish, had seventeen couples to marry at once in a grand common aerate at th• oltsrch. In the course of the wadding, he asked one cf the urea to plod's' himself to the wrong woman The man naturally protested, hat was told, 'Held your tongue, I will marry you all now sail here, . you can sent yourselves going bode. Thera are over 250,000 Freemasons in the United Blame. It is 1 well established fast—oo Taney— that a person who is guilty of RquirPing to beeeo joie, io the hoops of worship, don't expee•to•rato as a gentleman. Vireinisotayi the New York World, re ports Timothy as pramisieg a good crop, Wit says oothiegabous Peul. It was a wise newt*, who, io sp'eaking of the happieeis of marne4 people, said: 'Dat 'ar' ponds alteigether on how dey' joy dey se!ves.' Why is a lady sweetest wben she is jest out of bed is the morning ? Because then sbe'a a toss . A young lady of Trny advisod a gentleman f r iend n n , to Inke flit irons to bed with hi,n as they would warp his lasi! The stupid fel• low did not know cough to take the hint and propose. Why will orwt,yenr ho like last? BMUS last year was 1870, aad next year will be, 1872 (too). Handle rough sidt d matt • carefally. tt pays to take a little limo whet' you are *pea log obestout burrs..• Carlyle says. 'Make yourself sgo oil tas and then on may be sure there is eae ras cal lees in the world.' /1 7 4 wife of* shins,' in Rotolo , ebjentrwrit hie keeping the memories 14 his five ?retie spasms green, by wearing five bands of erspo an hi hat. 4s: Cans Inwer,be sailed p suitor, whoa be dot 's nit her • . Quiets—Cana man eating dates be said o COOSULIie thee? • Who ever saw any bedy_pear a Ara who ditrot want to play poked!• -r r , , Why is no iefact like a iliamdmir3iiatat' it is a deat little thing. . . NEI4IIIKR 44
Significant historical Pennsylvania newspapers