•-• • Mr . Z.• , • - • . • aFi • r • „of j • . • r • • • sB3r W. Minix-. VOLUME XXIII. 0 cu, W 0 11 JUST THE THING WHICH ALL MUST HAVE! -.--.0- NOW is the time to econom:ze when money is scarce. You shbuld study your interest by supplying your wints at the first class store of C. N. BEAVER. North-east corner of the Diamond He does business on the only successful method, viz: by buying his goods for cash. The old fogy idea of buying goods at high prices and on long credits is EXPLODED. CaWand examine our fine stock and don't be RUINE,D by paying 20 per cent. too much for your goods' hir where. We nilt chatenge the community to chow forth a more complete stock of HATS, all of the very latest styles and to suit all, at C. N. BEAVER'S. BOOTS, all kinds and prices, C—N—BEAILER!S. SHOES, of every description for Men's, Lathes', M isassla ntl -Children's wear, at C. N. BEAVER'S. CLOCKS, every one warranted anu Bold by C. - N. BEAVER: TR UNKS, of-all sizes:the very-best-manufacture, , also warranted and sell by -- C-N:BAEVER. VALISES, of every kind, also very cheap, at C. N. BEAV ER'S. HATS, for Ladies. Misses and Children, a fresh 'apply received every week and sold by C.N. BEAVER. NOTIONS, a full line as follows. sold by C.N. BEAVER. PAPER COLLARS, for Men and Boys wear, the most complete and finest assortment in town, by C. N.BE.kVER. • HOSIERY, of every kind, for sole, ty C. N. BEAVER. GLOVES, for Men and Boys weer, sc C. N. BEAVER'S. SUSPENDERS, for Men and Bees wear, • • at C. N, BEAVER'S. CANES AND UMBRELLAS, a complete stock at C. N. lIE AV ER's. BROOMS AND BRUSHES, of the vety best kind, at U. N. BAEVER'S. TOBACCO, to suit the taste of all, • at C. N. BEAVER'S. CIGARS, which cannot he heat. for sale. by C. N.BEAVER. SNUFF, which we chalenge any one to excel in quality,TOr sale C.N. s t BEAVER'S. INK and PAPER, of every description, at C. N. BE A E CANDIES, always freak too, for sale, at C. N. BEAVER'S. SPICES, for sale at C. N. BEAVER'S. CRACKERS, of every kind, at C. N. BE AVER'S INDIGO BLUE. at C.N BEAVER'S. CONCENTR kTED LYE, for Safe, at C. N. BEAVER'S. KEROSENE, of the very I est,— Pitts. Oil. at C N. BEAVER'S. LAMP CHIMNIES also, at c C. N. BEAVER'S. And many other articles not nrcevearytto mention. We now hope that you veal gibe us a share of your patronage. We are indeed, thankful t..) you to past patronage, and hope a confnuanet of the eame, and, rema;n yours tru!y, ChA HEN CE L N. BE VVER. Way noeboro', Jane 2, 1870. The World Renowned MEDICINE IS Drs. D. 1" ahrney 81. Son's CELEBRATED PREPARATION • FOR CLEANSEO6 THE BLOOD. WILL. CURE SCROFULA. CUTANEOUS ptsr.ASES, ERY PEI,As., BOILS, SORE EYES, SCALD HE , O, PIMPLES, and BLoTCHES ON THE FACE, 'VETTER AFFECTIONS, oil and STUBBORN UI.CERs, RHEU MATIC AFFECTIoNS, DYSPEP SIA, COSTIVENESS; SICK 11 EA DA HE, SALT RHEUM', AUNDICE, GENERA]. or- BILTTY, CHILLS AND FEVER,.FOIJ I. STOMACH, TOGETHER with ALI. O'I'II RR DISELOCD AN D A t-ING FROM IMPURE DISORDERED LIVER, TRY ONE BOTTLE; OR PACKAGE A nil bo convinced that this medicine is nu hunlog Sold by all Druggists. Dry. D. Fahrney & Son's Propitiation for Cleans ing the Blood is COUNTERFEITED. The gen uine has the name "D. FA HRN EY & SON" on the front of the outside wrapper of each bottle. and tho name of Drs P. eshrney dr. Son's Preparation for Cleansing the Blond, Boonsboro, Mel., blown iri each bottle: All others are COUNTERFEIT. Rer ellect that it is Drs. Fahrney & Son's Celebrated Preparation for Cleansing the Blood that is so uni versally used, and en highly recommencted ; sit (rd., net allow 'the Druggist to induce you to take an}- thing else that they may say is just the rams or as good, because they make a large profit on it. PREPARED BY Drs. D: F.. 4 RIVE 1' el, SOY, BOONSBORO, MD., And Dr. F. D. Fahrney, Kedysville, Be sure to get the genuine. :Pone genuine un less signed _ D. FAIITINEY & SON. Sold by, Dr J. B. A unsnaog, Waynesboro' ; Ds. J. Bututtrotoun, WiNeesa, quinsy; rtutarc• tor Agsi t yr„nr, Shady Crave. june 30- 6mos] WAYNESBORO', FRANKLIN COUNTI, PENNSYLVANIA, THURSDAY MORN Is4CI3IIITIC,ALT-a. THE DIVE AT GIVITTSBURC. BY J. O. WHITTIER. In the old liebrevr myth the lion's fame, fSo terribly alivc. Bleached by the desert's sun and wind became The wandering wild bees' hive ; . And he who, lone and naked-handed, tore Those jaws of death apart, In after time drew forth their honeyed store To strengthen hie strong heart. Dead seemed the,legend ; but it only slept ' To awake beneath our sky ; Just on the spot whence ravening Treason crept Back to its lair to die, Bleeding and torn from Freedom's mountain bounds A staked end shattered drum Is now the hive where, on their flowery rounds, The-wild lees_go_and come.— Unchallenged. by re ghostly sentinel, They wand,r wide. and far, Along green hi 'aides, sown with shot end pholl, Thrt ugh vales once choked with war. The low revetiro of their battle-drum Disturbs no morning prayer : Wish deeper peamin summer noons th - eir .um —Fills-ail-the drowar_air And Samson's riddle is our 'own to-day, Of sweetness from the strong, Of union, peace, and freedom plucked away - From the rent jaws of wrong._ _ _ _ From Treason's delth we draw a puror life, As, from the beast he clew, A sweetness sweeter for his hitter sidle The old-time athlete drew ! ML - ISBC3IErLiMJALTirE". FANNY CHESTER'S Fanny Chester was a flirt. Every one, her melt included, acknowledged that, Iler old guardian, Judge Spofford watched her perfect restlessness of conduct with an anxious eye. listing no children of his own be bad taken the little orphan-left to his care into him heart es well es his home. She had proved affectionate, good, and everything to satisfy him save the horrible propensity of flirting, which she had evinced almost from her `baby days.' Ie vain the Judge remonstrated with her; his words had no effect whatever. • 'lf men are so weak,' she would respond with a wicked shalre.of the head, am net responsible. They must heat the eonsequen- ''Do yen ever intend to marry ?' the Judge queatineed her one day. She looked at him gravely for a moment. 'No,' she responded frankly 'My inten tions are always to remain as now- I have wealth, beauty, youth' and an affectionate guardian ; what more do I want I' • 'At present, nothing,' he returned. 'But the day may come when all these may be swept away. Your wealth may 'disappear, your beauty fade, your 'youth be bat a re• membraree of the past, sod 1, your guardian, be mouldering in the dust. In that day what resource would yea have left ?' She smiled and then laughed outright. 'What a doleful picture you have conjured up,' she ejaculated. 'lf ever such an ea• tromity comes will teach, or sew, or do something to itipport myself. Anything guar. dio, would be preferable to marrying one of the deceitful dandies of the nineteenth cen• tary.' 'You are too hard,' the Judge rejoined qnickly. 'There are some men left. All aro not popirjays. For instance, look at John Wel lace.' The beauty curled her lips dtsdainfully.— John Wallace to be. mentioned to her ! John Wallace, a poor, friendlesa orphan, that had entered his guardian's office as an orphan boy, and had studied and worked himself up until he was admitted ,to the bar, was too much beneath her in social rank for even his name to be tolerated. 'John Wallace,' she reiterated. 'Why guar die, lam surprised that you should refer to a man like him. One without blood or. lini age; one who knows not but even his' very existence may be a disgrace.' 'You have too atisteeratto ideas for repub• Haan America,' ho responded ; and then he longed to tell her something of her family of which she had lived in blissful igoorance. From that - time forth.she seemed to flirt even more desperately than before. If she accidentally happened to meet John Wallace when he came to,the house to consult the Judge, she treated him with supercillious contempt. The Judge finished with shame. 'Fanny, dear, he ventured to say to her af ter she had been more than usually frigid in het conduct, 'you wound me. What pleasure can you find in humiliating John Wallace as you have done ? Why not at least treat him in a lady-like manner ?' 'Because his airs annoy me,' was the re ply. 'lle beats everything with that cold, calm, unimpashioned bearing that seems to say, 'I am as good as you, and do not heed you,' which I consider to be insufferable in soleoce from an inferior.' The Judge sighed, but mado no com• men?'. . , • New Ye lie c...me at last, and Fanny was preparing for a.ha/1. She looked into the mirrors that reflected her, with evident otitis. faction, and then swept down from her apart ment to the Judge's libraty to aek.his opin ion cf her toilet. Voices within attracted her attention. wish to address Mira Chester, and first ask your cannot,' she heard some oas say; Zrtcl.aperscloiLt family I\T43 - vvw3paaa or. 'The puppy,' she tjaeulsted. - as 'ha reeog. nised his voice as that of a young English. man with whom she had bees recently made acquainted. The Judge hesitated for a moment. 'Miss Chester must please herself,' be Ts. tamped, 'but as you have mentioned it to me, I feel in duty bound to correct you in.regsrd to a a popular belief. Miss Chester's fortune, as well as my owe, has been lost through an unfortunate speculation. The fellow fairly gasped. 'ls it really so ?' he asked. The Judge bowed his head. 'But of course that will make no differ. ence with you, he suggested, 'as you wish to seek my ward through no mercenary mo. tires. The dandy winced. 'Pardon me,' he stammered, I have labor. ed under a mistake. 'Not,' he added 'that I ~ieh to seek her wealth, but now that she is reduced, ehe might be induced to tollow her mother's early profession—an actreEs: The Judge rose to hie fest. 'Be so kind as to leave in; house, sir,' the Judge commanded, and the fellow slunk out. For a moment Fanny stood like one trans. Axed. The ceamity—that of losing her — trealt - li -- - - - - would have appalled her, but the other—that her mother bed been an actress —chilled her blood. She rushed into the li brary. 'Tell me—is it so P she questioned ago. shingly. 'Which ?' ho asked hoarsely, ber white fsee_appcaling to his heart. \S y snot - UT. _LYes,l_he said 'Child, I did not know you were there. She heard him not. She stood and stared and at last threw herself on his fatherly 'Do not think I weep for my wealth,' said she. can etand — th - at; but - the - other tru• miliation: we—l was so proud of my good family.' She took off her queenly robes, and re. mained at home. The intelligence , of tbe Judge's failure flew through that city as if on the wings of fire, and frielids who bad admired the 'rich Miss Chester , ' dropped off one by one. The Judge left stately mansion and they took rooms in a small, neat boarding house. Ile watched how bravely she bore her reverse, and sighed. Fanny insisted upon the rld programme which she had marked out for herself before she had ever dreamed of being reduced. will not be a burden to you,' shirre-plied to the Judge, when he pleaded with her to abandon her scheme. She went bravllly•to the trustees of the school where she had . been educated, and laid her ease before them. hey heard attentively They believed there mnst be sterling quell ties within the girl, that she could so readi ly face her fate. They gave her the position she desired. The night before she was to commence her labors the Judge called her to him. 'Fanny,• he said 'in six months from this day I was to give you up your property to your own care and be your guardian no lon• ger. What can yon think of the way I have fulfilled my trust ?' She threw her arms around his neck. 'Do not think of say loss, guar.lie,' she ex claimed. 'You bare been a father, a true good father to me. I have been a butterfly of fashion, but now you shall sea that I can be something else' Ile pressed her convulsively to his breist. 'God will reward you,' ho said ; I knew I was not miattkon in your nobility of charac ter, For months she filled her , position as teach er honorably, and declared herself hscpier than she had ever been in her life before. John Wallace visited the_ old_ Judge in their humble lodgings much more frequent ly than-in their prosperous days. Fanny was very pleasant and seamed anx ious to erase the rudeness of the peat from his mind. Their intirr toy ripened into friend. ship, and from friendship into love. The Judge looked on with intense satisfac tion. The anniversary of Fanny (nester's twen ty first birthday came, the day on,whieh he was to yield up his control on her. wish you to take a ride with me, Fanny be observed, and she prepared to do so. They drove to hie old residence. `What does this mean?' she asked with flashed cheeks. 'I mean that I have taken a fancy to visit our old home,' he ventured. 'Yon know it his only been occupied by servants since we left it. She made no response She followed him up the high brown stone steps into the house. He led her into the library and of- fered her a chair. He then took a roll of papers - and laid them before her. 'This is your birthday, my dear ; ' be said, 'and I render up to you all that which was entrusted to my earn. I knew you were no ble and good, and had a strength of charac ter which you yourself unaware of. Lov ing you as I did and do, it pained my heart to see you that shallow creature—a woman of fashion and flirt. I knew you knew not your own heart, and judged your friends wrong. Io all things else but this one you were perfect, and before I relinquished till claims to you I wish to open your eyes. 11Iy poverty, your lON, was but a pretense. Can you forgive me ?' She sprang from her chair. She buried her face in his bosom and wept. 'I thank you,' she said, when her emotion subsided sufficiently to allow her to speak. 'you have taught me a lemon which I shall never forget. I will never again be useless, foolish creature of the past. The Judge was satisfied, and he wiped a suspicious moisture from hie eyes. 'And John Wallace?' she inked with a questioning lock. 'Believed ea you did, my dear.' She made no comments. The circle iu which she reigned supreme was surprised to hear that her poverty was but a freak to teat their friendship, sod mr• ny of the heartless dandies cursed their stn. pidity in giving her up so easily. A month passed, and John Wallace had not called. lie sent in his congratulations to the Nudge and ekes Chester,' but that was all. Fanny wrote him a note. Mr. Wallace obeyed the summons. Six months later Fanny (Theater became F,anny Wallace. Mr. Wallace is now one of :our most end nentlawyere—a noble eaamplo of what a poor, friendless boy, if ambitions and indes trious, can accomptith and become. Theold.Judge lives, and is content and happy. The!Art of Llviiig Happily. The following firaainis or rules of action might, it strictly observed, go far to:increase the happiness, or, at least, to diminish the inquietude and Tuileries of life : Observe inviolable truth in your words'and integrity in_your passions. Accustom yourself to_temperance and be master of your actions. lie not tomuuch out of humor with: the world, but remember kis a world of God's creating, and flowever;sadly it is marred with wickedness and folly, yet you have found in it more comforts than calamities, more.eivir- ties than affronts more instances of kindness towards you thao cruelty. Try to spend your time—usefully—both to yourself and others. lquer_mtke an_euemy_cor_lose_a___frieud utmeeerearily. thinly/ale such a habitual cbeerfulness of mind and evenness of temper as not to be ruffled by turmoil, ieconveniencesiand cross• Be ready to heal breaches in friendship, and to make deferenees, and ahnn litigation yourself as much as possible, for he is an ill calculator that does not perceive that one amicable settlement is better than two law suits. 130 it rather your roibition to acquit yoUr. sell well in your proper station than to rise above it. • Despite not - small honest — gaind — do not risk what you bate on the delusive prospect of midden tidies. If you aro in a comfort& ble thaiviag way, keep in .it, and abide your o_wn_oAlling rather than run the chance of another. In a word, mitt(' to 'use the world as not abusing it,' and probably you will find as mach comfort in it as is moat fit for a frail being who is merely sojourning through it toward an immortal abode. SnUN AFFECTATION.--There is nothing more beautiful in the young than simplicity of character. It is honest, frank, and at• tractive. flow differept is effectation I The simpleminded are always natural. They are, at the same time, original. The affected are never anti:oral. As for originality, if they ever had it, they have crushed it out and buried it from sight, utterly. 13e yourself, then, young friend I To attempt to he anybody else is worse than folly. It is an impossibil• ity to attain I h o b; contemptible to try. But suppose you could succeed in imitating the greatest man ever figured in history, would that make you any better? By no means. You would alwayOuffer in comparison with the imitated one, nod be thought of only as a shadow of a substance—the eeho of a real sound—the counterfeit of a pure coin I Dr. Johnson aptly compares:the heartless imita. tor— to the Empress of Russia, when she did:the freakish thing of erecting a palace of ice. It was splendid and conspicuous while it lasted. But the sic soon melted it and caused its attractions to dissolve into common water, while the humble stone cot tages of her subjects stood firm and unman• Tied I Let the fabric of your' character, though ever so humble, be at least real.— Shun Affectation. REASONS FORI DRESSING PLAIN.—The fullowing reasons are no good in this locality as anywhere, and will apply to other days as well as Sundays : 1. lt would - lessen — the — burdens — of many who find it hard to maintain their places in society. 2. Et would lessen the force of temptations which often lead men to barter honor and honesty for display. 8. If there was less strife in dress at church, people of moderate circumstances would be far more inclined to attend. 4. Universal moderation in dress at church would - improve the worship by removal of wondering thoughts. 5 Lt would enable all classes of people to attend church better in unfavorable teeather. 6. It would lemon, on the part of the slob, tbo temptations of vanity. 7. It would lessen, on the Fart of the poor, the temptations to be envious and malicious. 8 It would save valuable time on tbe Sab bath. 9. It would relieve our means of a prem. sore, and thus enable us to do Inure for good enterprise. WANTED TO TRY Lucx —A may having married a woman who had already had lour husbands, was asked why be be. came the fifth. H e said : am of an adven turons;dispositioo,itand having head; that her first husband ran away, that the second hang himself, the third shot himself, and the fourth drowned himself, 1 wanted to try my luck, and see what would become of me; and I'm afraid,' he added, with a sigh, 'that I shan't have the pluck to do what . may of my predecessors did! a man in Boston is so short that when ha is ill be don't know whether :he :has head ache or corns. NG, JANUARY 12, ISM The Rescue Several years ago a ship was burned near the mouth of the English Channel. Among the passengers were a father mother, awl their child, a daughter, not many months old. When the discovery was made that the ship was on fire, and the alarm was given, there was great confusion, and this *family because separated. The father was rescued and taken to, Liverpool, but the mother and her infant were crowded overboard, and un noticed by those who were doing all in their power to save the sufferers still in the ship, they drifted out of the channel with the tide, the mother clinging to a fragmentsof the wreck with her little one clasped to her breast.. Late in the afternoon of that day, a vessel bound from Newport, Wales, to America, was moving along slowly to her course.— There was only a sleight breeze, and the cap tain was impatiently walking the deck, when his attention was called to au okject some distance off which looked like a person in the water. The officers and crew watched it for some time, end, as no vessel was near from which any one could have fallen over board, they thought it impossible that this could-be a human being. But -as- their - yes , eel was scarcely moving, it was thought best to get out a boat and row to the olker,—, The boat was accordingly lowered and man ned. It was watched with ecesiderable in• tercet by those who remained on board, and they noticed - that, as it drew near to the dada : tf.eek the. rowers rested on their wo or threo minutes, then moved for ward, took - in the ohj act - or - thing, tiroy-know not which, and returned to the ship. When the bet l's craw came on bard they br,onght with them this mother ant her ohill alive and well; and the sailors sail that, as thif Arew.near, Oaf - heard a female voles sweet ly singing. Ae with a common impulse the men ceased rowing and listened, anti then the _words_of the beautifui hymn, sung by. Ibis trusting Christian, all unconscious that de liverance Was so near, oome over the waves to their ears: - - iCEIIS lover of my soul, Let me to Tby bowie fly, White the waters near me roll, While the 'tempest still is high ; Me me, 0 my Savior hide 'Till the storm of life is past; safe into the haven guide, Ohl receive my soul at last. In due time the vessel arrived in Amer. lea. The mother wrote to her friends io England, and thus the father learned of his wife and child, and in • about four months from the time-of their separation they were happily reunited. • What a beautiful illustration the incident affords of the truth that dod never forsakes those who love Him. A child of His may be placed in circumstances of great trial, suffering with pain, sickness, 'lei, jti the desert, in peril at sea, , drifting away as it may seem from all earthly help as were this mother and babe oat upon the deep, but who has trusted in llim is never out of His sight, never where He cannot hew their cry for help. MORE Soot 1 1 L 0 ATEER mos.—These ate so few and far between in some farming com• munities, that if folks didn't go to church on Sunday, they would forget how each other looked. In sparsely settled districts it is no wonder that the ehurch.gt - ers improve their intermission to compare notes and ea• change salutations, not quite in accordance with the fourth commandment, for it is the only chance they hare. If they are thereby kept in the habit of going to meeting, we can excuse a little laxity in their social in. tercouree on Sunday. But we want more social gatherings during the week. As things now are, how few we:really know, oat of our own family circle, and her - ,\ any of our own town are es much :, t ete as though they lived a thousand ',. aw.y. I flow many prtjudiees are m °hod \ ' l ay ,y a pleasant social gathering. Bow i. , .. warm friends aro made out of comparative . ran gers, and we all setiarateohinking better eaoh other and the world at largo. non many worth knowing aro never otherwise found out, and if there were more social gatherings in the country, bow many - young folks would be more contented. A WITTY RETORT.—At a court hold in Lynchburg, Va., a distinguished momber of the bar, appealing to the court for the din• charge of his client, wound up with the statement that if the court sent him on for further trial, a stain would be left upon his character that could not be washed off 'by all the waters of the blue ocean, and all the soap that could be manufactured from the ponderous eareass of the commonwealth's attorney. To thTs the ponderous attorney replied, that, while he 'deemed it foreign to the case at the bar, he desired to advise the court, if they ,thought it advisable to boil his body into soap, that they should look to the opposite council for the 'concentrated lie out of which to make it ?' Court, bar, and spectators exploded, and our informaot kooweth nothing more even now. A laughable thing took place at a revival meeting somewhere in Mississippi not long since. The minister notieed,a seedy looking chap in one of the seats, se though he need. ed religion or a good square meal. So he stepped up to him and asked him if ho was a Christian. !No, sir; said be, 'I am the ed itor of the Democratic paper in this place.' 'Thou, in the name of God, let us pray,' re. plied the deveted.ministar. The Greensburg Argus says., 'they know of a man, in that plaie. who carries a • head of cabbage under his hat that weighs over fourteen 'pounds!' Rather beam Jeems, but we will hallo to take the, place of its e* lite:lee into oeusideratiows• • , 62.00 Per et? Take Care of the .Feet: 'Of all parts of the body,' says Dr Roberts on, •there is not one which ought to be to carefully attended to as the feet. Every: person knows from eipsrienoe that colds and many other diseases whieh proceed from tbs same, are attributable to otild feet. The feet aro at such a distance from 'the wheel• at the cistern' of the system, that the circu lation of the blood may be easily checked'. there. Yet, for all this, and although every. person of counr.on sense sbould.be aware of , the truth of what we have stated, there is. no part of the human body so much trifled , with as the feet. The young and would be genteel fosted cramp their toes and feet in, to thin-soled, bone pinching boots and shoes, in order to display neat feet, in the fashion able sense of the team. There is one great evil, against which every person should bo on their guard, and it is one which is nut (thee guardici against—we mean the chew 113 r, of warm for cold boots or shoes. A change is often made from thick to thin soled oboes, without reflecting upon the otiose dowses which might ensue. In cold wea ther boots and shoes of good thick leather. both in-soles and • nppere, ahould be worn by all. iVater-tighta are got, good, if they are air-tights also; lodia rubber over shees-sitould never be worn incept in wet. splashy weather. and then not very long at once. It is hurtful to the feat to wear soy covering that is air-tight over them, and foe this reason India rubber should be worn as seldom as possible. No part of the body should be allowed_ t'o have a covering that entire y o mucus I e passage—cirth—e—earblica ie_aoid_gas_frout the pores of the _ skin out wards, and the moderate passage of air in ward to the skin.—Lite eau be destro•ed in a short time, by estirely closing up the pores of tho kia. Good warm stockings acid thick. soled boots and consequently of human hap places. NOT IN THE 131112011.—As the polite om nibus agent of the Lexington and Louie• rifle railroad was going through the ladies' oar, checking baggage, he salted a very pret. ty young lady if she bad any baggage which the wished taken to the hotels. She replied: 'No The agent then asked her if she desired_a bus. She instantly gave him a sweet smile, and replied: 'Nu' I'm not in a bussing tumor this evo• The agent dropped his memorandum book, hastily retired to the baggage oar, -and said be felt unwell. Turf AND N0w...4g is just a hundred years since the tbllowing edict was promul• gated in Paris Whoever bhall contrive to draw into the bonds of marriage a male sub ject of his Mbjesty, either by means of rough or pearl powder, tales tenth, false busts, false hips; or high-heeled shoes, will be prosecu ted for sorcery, and the marriage will be de clawed mull.' It is pretended that were this law is force at the present day the worts would be more occupied. For the benefit of the rural press, whioh is bragging of big E quebee,Sro., the follow log is offered: 'A farmer at Giiberttown has been digging around a potato for three days, and has•not yet succeeded in unearth. jog it. The hole will make a capital fish pond, and the potato, when aooobed out, a balloons A minister in Salem took for his test,-- 'The flesh, the world and the devil,' and in• formed his astonished audience that he should . 'dwell briefly in the flesh, pass rapid• ly the world, and hasten as last as he oou!d tot vil. Sir John Irwin was a great favorite with Georgo' the Third, who once observed to him: 'They telf.me, Sir John, that you love a gloss of wino.' 'Those,' replied Irwin 'who so informed your majesty, have done me a greet ioius tiee. They should have said a bottle.' . Mr. G— was a most inveterate punster. Lying very ill of cholera, his nurse proposed to prepare a young, tender Orden. ',Hadn't you better taken an old hen?' said o—, in a low whisper, fur be was. too jil to speak louder, 'for she would be more apt ro lay on my stomach,' John Randolph was once, on a race•oourss, solicited to bet by a stranger, who said ‘Sa.itb, here, will bold the stakes.' Just so,' replied the descendent of Pccabontas, 'but who'll hold Smith ?' I never knew a man who deserved to be well thought of himself for his morals and who had a slight opinion of the virtue of eke other sex in general. A country girl coming from the fiold was told by her cousin that she was fresh as a (Jai. sy kissed by the dew. 'No,tindeed;_was tha reply, 'that was not his name.' Why is an Italian exile returning to hia native land, like a man going to see hie lea go up an apple tree? Because :hs is going to see his own sunny clime. t.ii 'Any dogs ' toy darn ?' inquired owl Dutchmen of an r while engaged in an. gliag. 'No, node t all.' 'VIM; ,returns ed the other, tootiogs pite me, Me.' :•.- , ~.... It is laid the reason store clerks stare ea► mush at pretty women is because their busi ness requires them to 'have an eye to 6_P4. twee.' The greatest Midis are the simplest, scan the greatest meo. • Old maids are described as embers. -froui :,soplob the sparks lava fled. ' • NUMBER 30
Significant historical Pennsylvania newspapers