133 r W. 331alar. VOLUME XXIII. 0 11LI JUST THE THING HIM ALL UST RAVE! Now is the time to economize when money is scarce. You should study your interest by supplying your wants at the first class store of C. N. BEAVER. North-east corner of the Diamond. He does business on the only successful method, viz: by buyine his goods for cash. The old fogy idea of buying goods at high prices and on long credits is EXPLODED. sc.,. and examine our fine stock and don't be RUINED by paying '2O per uent. too much for your goods else. where. We will chalenge the - communrty — to - sh - ow forth a more complete stock of _HATS, all of_the_ve_ry_latealiii at C. N. BEAVER'S. • BOOTS, all kinds and prices, at C. IV, BEAVER'S. SHOES, of every description for Men's, Ladies', Misßei'Tind - Übildren's wear, • at C. N .-BEAVER'.. - -MOCKS - , -- every - orre - wavrantfli arm aohl -- by N. HEAVER. - TRUNKS. of all sizPs. the very best manufacture, — also iv ntirtrlited-11114-8, by C. . • . VALISES, of every hind, also very cheap, at C. N. BEAVER'S. HATS, for Ladies. Misses and Children, a fresh supply received ever✓ week and sold by U.N. BEAVER. NOTIONS, a toll line as follows, sold by C. N.BEAVER. PAPER COLLARS. for Men and Boys wear, the most complete and finest assortment in town, by C. N. BEA VER. HOSIERY, of every hind, for Bale, h C. N. BEAVER. GLOVES, ; — —BEANLE SUSPENDERS, for Men and Bova wear,-- at C. N. BEAVER'S. CANES AND UMBRELLAs,a complete stock at C. N. BEAVER'S. BROOMB AND BRUSHES, of the very beat ;rind, at C—N. BEAVER'S. TOBACCO, to suit the taste of all, at C. N. BEAVER'S CIGARS, which cannot-be beet. for sale. by C. N. BEAVER. SNUFF, which we chalenge any one to excel in qualm, for sale at INK and PAPER, of every description, at - le. N. BEAVER'S. CANDIES, always fresh too, for sale. at C. N. BEAYER'S. SPICES, fur sale at • C. N. DEAVER'S. CRACKERS, of ca•ery hind, • at • C. N. BEAVER'S INDIGO BLUE, at ' • C. N. BEAVER'S. CONCENTRATED LYE, for sate, at C. N. BEAVER'S, KEROSENE, of the very Lest,—Pats. at LA MP CHIMINIES also, And many other articles not necessary to mention. We now hope that you wd,l give us a share of your patronage. We are indeed, thankful to you for past patronage, and hope a continuance of the same, and remain yours truly, CIA RENEE N. BEAVER. Waynesboro, June 2, 1870. The World Renowned MEDICINE is Drs. D. Eabrney & Son's CELEBRATED PREPARATION FOR CLEANSING TilE BLOOD. WILL OURE SCROFULA, CU rA NE0156 PIsEASES, ERYR SIPEL As, 'MILS, SUITE EYES, sCALD HEAD, PIMPLES, end 13LI►TUHE4 Oy THE FACE, 'FETTER A FFECTIONs,, old en.l sTURBORN ULCERS, RHEU MATIC AFFECTII►NS, DYSPEP SIA, COsTIYENESs, SICK HEADACHE,. SALT RIIEUM,JAUNDICE,GLN ER AL DE BILITY, CHILLS AND FEVER, Four. STOMACH, TOGETHER with Al,l, OTH ER DISEASES ARIsING FROM IMPURE , BLOOD AND DIsORDERED TRY ONE BOTTLE OR PACKAGE And be convinced that this medicine is no humbug. Sold by all Druggists. Drs. D. Fahrney & Son's Preparationfor Cleans ing the Blood is COUNTERFEI D. The gen uiem has the nams "D. FA HItNEY & SON" on the front of the outside wrapper of each bottle, and the name of Drs D. r ahrney & Sun's Preparation fur Cleansing the Blood, Boonsbaro, tlld., btowtt in each bottle. All others are CC UNTEEPEIT. Roc rilect that it is Drs. D. Fahrney & sun's Celebrated Preparation for Cleansing the Blood that is so uni versally used, and so highly recommended ; aml do not allow the Druggist to induce you to take any thing else that they may say is just the same or as good, because they make a large profit on it. PREPARED BY Dra. D. F.A.URNEY ct , SON, • BOONSBOBO, And Dr, P. D. Fahrney, Kedysville, Did Be sure to get the genuine. None genuine un less signed D. FAHILNEY & SON.. Sold by Dr J, D. AllintlLßON ' l4 , aynesbore ; Dr. J. BUZIESOLDEIt, E WINUZI4 Gainey; Fuicuau ieg SsivtLY, bhady Grove. June Grams] lA. U. MOLABRES.—Ths subscribers have just received a prime lot of New Orleans Molasses as the bsiide,Ye dt. Hutt'Liu Li XlO ?. ERMEIM 'Forgive him said Mrs. Stearns. 'O, Lowell, forgive him I' The speaker was an aged 'woman and a widow. Herk d was white with the frost of years, and her mild features were deeply marked by the hand of time. There was a tear in her eye, and her face was clouded with sorrow. She spoke to her son, a mid• dle-aged, strong featured person, whose coun tenance betrayed a tirm•willed, unbending heart, but yet who appeared an upright, hon• orable'cuan. 'Forgive him I' repeated the white haired widow, as she raised her trembling hands to. ward her son. •Ile is your brother—your only brother. 0, if you know your own heart, you will forgive him.' 'Never !' spoke Lowell Stearns, in a firm, deep tone. 'John has wronged me—deeply wronged me, and I should Pc to my own soul where I to forgive him now.' 'And have not you wronged him 7' asked the widow impressively. 'I wronged him ? llow ?' 'By withholding from him your love ; by treating him so harshly, and causing him to sio,' answered his mother, kindly 'Cease, mother. When you say. that I have caused him to sin, you are mistaken. Lie has chosen his own path, and now he must travel in it.' C. N. BEAVER'S. C. N. BEAVER'S. 'No, no. You and John have both kind hearts, and it grieves me sorely to see you as you now are. Ah, Lowell I fear that you do not realise bow noble a thing it is to forgive those who have injured you.' Lowell Stearns made no reply to Lis moth er. He saw that she was unhappy, and he knew that be himself was unhappy also. In former years he had loved his brother, and he knew that he had been faithfully loved in return. The trouble which had so unfortu nately separated them, had been trivial it its beginning, but Lowell's stearnness of will and John's hastiness . of temper bad kept the fire on the increase. The first fault had belonged to the younger bruther, but a word of ex planation at that time might have healed without trouble; new, however, the aff.sir WAYNESBORO', FRANKLIN COUNTY, PENNSYLVANIA, THURSDAY HORNING, SEPTEMBER 8, 1870. xociamwic,.a.xJ. FAILING LEAVES, They are falling, slowly falling, Thickmpon the forest side, Severed from the noble branches, Where they wavedin beauteous pride. They are falling in the valleys, Where the early violets spring, And the birds in sunny, spring time First their dulcet music sing. They are falling, sadly falling, , Close beside our cottage door;' Pale and faded, like the loved ones, Tney have gone Craver more. They are falling, and the sunbeams Shine in beauty soft around; , Yet the faded leaves are falling, Falling,on theimossy ground., They are falling on the atrearelet, There the silvery - waters - 8o , •, --And upon its placid bosom Onward with the waters go.' They are falling in the church-yard, Wtereour - kindred sweetly - de - op Where the idle winds .if summer softly o'er the loved.ones sweep. , They ere filling, ever filling, ' _ When_the_aumanAreeles_si When the stars in beauty glisten night sky. 311 the-mil Bright u , Moans like ocean's hollow roar, When the tuneless winds and billows Sadly sigh for evermore. They are felling; they are falling, While our saddened thoughts still go To the sunny days of childhood, In the dreamy long ago. And their faded hues remind us Of the blighted homes and dreams Faded-Like the Oilingkedels Cast upon the icy streams. MS INA CIEIIii.a.A.IOTY. - - `•FORGIVE HIM." - BY SYLVANIUS COBB, JR 'Lowell, you are the oldest, and from yon should come the love that can alone heal the wound between yourself and John.' 'Listen to me, mother,' said the stubborn wan, with a spice of bitterness in his tone : •John bas been unjust to 310 ,—h e h as b een unmanly and unkind. He has injured me beyond reparation.' 'No, 131, Lowell,' quickly interrupted his mother, 'not beyond reparation.' 'Yes.—hc has injured my feelings by the most fatal of malice and ill will. He has lied about me to my friends, and even assailed my private character,' 'And can you not forgive all this ?' she asked, tenderly. 'Perhaps I might,' returned Lowell Stearns; 'but,' be added in a hoarse tone, while his frame. quivered with deep feeling, 'be has done more than that. He has spoken of my wife, and--L—,. but I will not tell it all. I cannot forgive him this.' 'Forgive him, and be happy. Ills Lean is as kind as yours, and he is all generosity and love to.bis friends. More than forty years have passed over John's head, and du ring all that time be has never spoke one un kind word to his poor mother.' 'And did ever I speak unkindly to you, my mother r' asked Lowell, in a half bushed voice. .fin Ximclope•x3clemLt lEaa,m.lkis ,- iVel‘Airsairogarre.r. had become too deep and dangerous, and there was but one way for remedy. That way the aged mother would point out. 'Lowell' continued M re. Stearns, speaking in a trembling tone, 'I can spend but a few short days longer-on earth. I feel that the sands in my glass have most all run out, but before I depart, I hope I may meet my two boys together in love—l hope I may see them once more bound to ether in the sweet bonds of friendship. I hen you were s hies, i nursed you and oared tor you, and tried to do a mother's duty. 1 tried to make you both fit for the great world. As you grew older, I promised myself a full share of happiness in your coropauionship, and nought has come to dim the joy of my widowed heart, till this sad cloud lowered upon me.— I love my children —l. love them both alike —and yet they love not each other. Lowell, my 600, one thing weighs heavily upon me. Should this thing last till I am dead, then .how will you and John meet by the side of my corpse? [low will you feel when you come to—' !Hush, my mother,' uttered the stout man, trembling like a reed. 'Say no more now This evening I will speak to you my mind.' • *. * Jahli-Stearaa_eu own cosy parlor, and about hip] were his wife and children. Everything - that money could procure toward real comfort was his, but he was one dark cloud to trouble him. The spot where for long years nurtured a broth er's love, was now vacant. No, not vacant, for-it-was-filled-with_bitterness_fie_knew that he was in the fault, but he tried to ex -019- rrixitelf=b - I --- th'FFlrir - frg - 1 - brut ier :ted_him. This however did not ease his conseiensfo — fur - lre - ktrew - that - h - e - was - 1 - yint, rwmawm While he sat thus he heard a rar, at' the front door, and in a few moments ono of the children told hiui that 'Uncle Lowell' wanted to tee him. • 'Tell him to come in,' said John., and al- 1 ter this, be made a motion for his . wife and I children to leave the room. 'I Met - budge au inch,' he muttered to himself. 'lt he thinks to frighten-me—he'll-find his mistake- 1 Before he, could say more, Lis-brother-en,_ • red-throotu________ 'Good-evening, John,' said Liitcell -- trt - the same time laying his - Ist - upon-the table. - 1 John Stearns was taken - all - aback by this- 1 address, and he could hardly believe his ears, but he responded hesitatingly to the saluta- tion. For an instant he looked up into his brother's face, and dating tbat instant there flashed across his wind a wish that he had never offended. 'John,' continued Lowell, still standing, 'you well know what has passed to wake us unhappy ' 'Yes,— I kuo ' answered Jahn, hardly knowing what ton to assume. 'Well, my brot er,' continued Lowell, while a tear glistened his eye, and at the same time extending hi hand, .rhave come to bury the evil that has leen up between us. If you have wrongs me, I freely for give you, and if I have been harsh and un brotherly toward you, I ask that you will for get it. Come let us be friends once more.' Like au electric shook came this speech upon the ears of John Stearns A moment he stood half' bewildered, and then the tears broke forth from his eyes. fle reached forth his hand but his words were broken and in• distinct.. Be had not expected this'from his stern brother, but it came like a heaven-sent beam of light to his soul,. and in a moment more the brothers were folded in a warm em brace. When they were aroused, it was by feeling a trembling hand laid upon their heads, and when they looked up they found their aged mother standing by them. 'Bless you, my children, bless you,' tour.- mured the white-haired parent, as she raised her hands toward heaven, 'and 0, I pray God that you may never be unhappy more.' Julio Sterns knew that his mother had been the angel who had touched the heart of his brother, and it did not alter his far o veness. he murmured, 'I have been very wrong —I have abused you my brother,—but if you can forgive me, I will make it all up ' our love will repay it all, lobo. Lot me have your love, and I will try never to lose it again.' 'Now I am truly happy,' *said the aged mother, as she gazed with pride upuo her saes. 'Now I can die in peace 0. my boys, it you would have your children sure of hap piness•in after life, teach them that forgive• noes will heal social wounds which can bo healed in no other way Many a heart has been broken from the simple want of that talismanic power ' Both these brothers tried to bless their mother for the healthful lesson she bad taught them, and they failed not to teach it to their children as one of the best boons that could be given them for life. All business men should 'remember the Sabbath day to keep is holy.' Of all class es,. this rest and change of thought and em• ployment, is to them most essential. It not only prolongs their lives but gives them greater power for its duties. As a mere worldly measure it is expedient, as a duty to God it is all important. All business should be laid aside, and the thought of it banished as nearly as possible from the mind. This can only be done by entering upon other du. ties—the attendance of public worship, the Sabbath school, and other labors appropi kite to the day. An exchange says: 513 coward who would strike the mother of his children de• serves to be shot with lightning and, con- demned to wander eternally over a desert of guopowder. 'Why is an egg underdone :like an egg overdone ?' 13eosuse they are boib haurt,y done. •The Beautiful Sunshine Persons who have been at Rome will re• member that the charge for a south side room is nearly double that of one at north. ern exposure. This is the result of a prac tical-fact-impressed upon-the--minds--of—the people from the observations of centuries that sunshine is healthful; and very' few seem to have arrived to the height of Intel li_coce. Read over the advertisements any day for 'furnished rooms; an, the intispeo- - sable requisite, next to a 'high stoop, brown stone, west side,' is that it shall be a front room ; it may front on a pig pen, or a plank yard, stable, or a steamery, all the same, on ly, if it is a front room, or overlooks the street; as if we couldn't see something ; as if there were nothing to do bat to sit at the window and gaze at the passers-by by the hour:, A New York merchant noticed that all his bookkeepers became consumptives in a_ few years and died' One day it occurred to him that it might be the result of their oc cupying a room wherethe - sun never entered, in consequence of high walls; next day be gave hie clerks a sunshiny room, and never had a consumptive bookkeeper afterward. Another New York merchant placed his son - on`a beautiful - 1m 'roved farm - in Illinois.- The best upper room in tie louse overleitked the prairie. Three years later that son ro• turned to New York an invalid—the cough, the hectic the death. On close in, uir he stated to the physicians, that he always found his'elothing damp and mouldy. 'Did the pun never shine in your roorn - ?'"No, sir -- t—was-on-the north side of the house.' E•Fu-u- ' . --•- : : t of your soul in your !ace. Let the world inom , , Faro tat let your .5 1 / 1 11C8 be scattere li.e sunbeams, lon the just as well as the unjust.' Such a disposittoh.will yield you a rich reward, for its happy effects will come lionie , to you and brighten your moments of thought. Cheer fulness makes the mind clear, gives tone to the thought, adds grace and beauty to the countenance. Joubert says: 'when you give, give with joy and smiling' Smiles sretttle tillage, cheap articles to be fraught with so many blessings, both to 'the giver and the _receiver, pleasant little ripples to watch as we stand on the shore of every day life.- - Th - ey — ase our higher, better nature's re sponses to the emotions of the soul. Let the children have the beriefit of them , those little ones who need the sunshine of the heart to educate them, and would find a level for their buoyant natures in the cheerful, loving faces of those _who lead them: Let them not be kept from the middle-aged, who need the encouragements they bring. Give your am - iles also to the aged. They come to them like the quiet rain ofilithmer, making fresh and verdant the long, Weary path of life. They look for them from you who are rejoicing in the fullness of life. Be. gentle a-ad-indulgent to all. Love the, true, the beautiful, the just, the holy. SECRET Or FIAPPINESS.An Italian Bish op, who bad struggled through many diffii culties with=pining, and been much opposed wi anifebting impatience, be ing asked by a friend to communicate to him the secret of his being always so happy, re plied : 'lt consists in a single thing, and that is, waking a right use of my eye/0— MB friend in burprise; begged him to ex plain his meaning. 'Mat willingly,' replied the Bishop. 'ln whatever state I am, I first of-all look to heaven and remember that my great business is to got there. I then look down upon earth, and call to mind how small a space I shall soon fill in it. I then look abroad in the world, and see what multitudes ore, in all respects, less happy than myself. And thus I learn where true happiness is placed, where all my cares must end, how little reason I ever had to murmur, or to bo otherwise than thankful. Aad to live in this spirit is to be always happy.' A SMART GIRL —A pleasant story is told of a young lady who, in 1862, was a student in the Normal University of Illinois. She was n good-natured, quiet girl, a tolerable scholar except in the matter of composition, utter failure in which branch prevented her passing an examination. Five years .were devoted to the effort, when her father, who resided at Bloomington, died, leaving a small business in the furniture line, an invalid wile and three small children, to her care and support. Instead of selling off the stock and living on the proceeds until something should turn up, this girl, who had failed at school, went herself into the shop, sad .off the furniture at retail, and when the stock ran law, astonished her friends by going to New York and buying a larger and better lot of lurnitnre than was ever seen in Bloom ington ; and, what is more, she sold it.,. For seven years she has conducted the business, and to.day she owns a store worth 818,000, in the upper stories of which she began ber labors, and other real estate aggregating 880,000, besides a paid•up stook worth $20,- 000. A smart girl, certainly, even if she did fail in one branch of study. TEIE GLOBE WE LIVE ON. -It is known as a tact in geology that below the depth of thirty feet the earth becomes regularly warm ed as we descend. On an average, the in drease is at the rate of one degree of Fahren heit tor every fifty feet. At the bottom of the mines at Cornwall, a depth of one thou sand two hundred feet, the mercury stands at eighty eight, equal to high summer heat At this rate, rocks and metals would be melted twenty miles below the surface and down in the bowels of the earth several hnn• dred miles, the heat would be twenty thou sand times limiter than melted iron. Who catrwonder that earthquakes occur when all things rest on a molten sea of fire. What ship is always laden with knowl edge? Sohplan.hip.. , The East Wind Why should the wind cowing from the east over tin ocean of water ; depress the human body, while that which (moles from the west, across the continent, enlivens the -spirits-and gives- coinage- and—vigor 1 1 -- Be this as it may, it seems as if some people .never felt any wind that was not east. They are always 'out of sorts.' The weather is always just what they don't want. I met of•those men awhile ago, a larynx , - ht, - one OH ose oven aw n e ago, a armer wt. raised all kinds of crops. It was a wet day, and 1 said 'ilr. Nayling, this rain will be floe for your grass crop.' 'Yes, perhaps ;,but it is bad for the corn, and will keep it back. I don't believe we shall have a crop. - A few days after-this, when the sun was shining'hot, I said•: 'F'ine sun for your corn, sir.' , 'Yes, pretty fair; but it's awful for the rye, Rye wants cold weather.' Again, on a cold morning, I met my neigh bor, aad said : 'This must be capital for your rye, Alr. — Nayling.' 'Yes, but the very worst weather for corn and grass. They want beat to bring them -forward.' So the man lives in a perpetual east wind. Nothing suits him, and it would be impossi ble for Providence to give him weather about which he would not grumble. I know one man who tEinks•our country is on t e very brink of ruin, the Government a curse, and everythin ,, to be destroyed. And he has felt and talked thus for at least thirty years, and yet liii property has been increasing in - value - - - afirthisztime=antid—this-gathering-ruiti The fact is , the man lives in an unchanging 1 ~ :is: bui --- milrzre i Alr_Slowl as teen mourning or many years over t e degeneracy of the Limes, and always telling what wonderful lawyers, and - dactors,---snd ministers there were when he was young ! Ile can - sleep under any preaching he now bears, and the la wyers-seem to be young up starts, or too old to practice. ile.longs for the good oldtimes. Ah ! Mr. Slow, does _youw_eatherLvane ever point any whore bat to the east ? A LAiwE CANNON.—A smart Yankee evenitructated io a b3r•room of a country tavern in,Cinada, whiffling with a jack knife. There were—assembled—severaL Englishmen, discussing various matters con netted with the pomp and circumstance of war. In the course of his remarks, one of them stated that the British government possessed the largest cannon in alit - world, and gave the dimensions of one he bad seen. The Yankee would not let aueh-a base aeser• Lion pass uncontradioted. grold gentlemen,' said he; won't deny that it is a fair sized cannon ; but you are a leetle mistaken in supposing it is to be named the same minute with one of our Yankee guns which I saw in Charleston last year. Why, sir, it was so large that the soldiers were obliged tci — tini• ploy a yoke of oxen to draw in the ball 'And pray,' exclaimed one of his hearers with a smile of triumph, 'can you tell us how they got the oxen out again ?"Of course I can,' returned the Yankre , they unyoked 'ems and drove 'em through the touoh•hele 1' COUNT OVER THE MERCIES.—Count the mercies which have been quietly falling, in your history. Down they came every morn ing and every evening, as angel messengers from the Father in Reaven. Have you lived these years wastinglnercies, renewing them every da,y, and never yet realized whence they came ? If you have, [leaven pity you. You have murmured under afflic tions, but who heard you rejoice over bless ings? Ask the sunbeam, the rain drop, the star or the queen of night. What is life but mercy ? What is health, "strength, friend ship, social life ? Had each the power of speech, each would say, 'I am a mercy.'— Perhaps you have never regarded them as such. If not, you have been a poor student of nature and revelation. What is the pro priety of stopping to play with a thorn bush when you may just as well pluck sweet flow era, and eat pleasant fruits? It is always well to have either a bath full of water whore one sleeps or if no bath, a pail or tub full, set into the room; as water is one of the best disinfectants, cleanaing the air by taking up all the impurities from it as fast as they arise. Bat this water should he let off in the morning, and fresh water used for bathing or washing; and if you need drinking water in your bed room —and it is well always to have it near—do. not let it remain open in your room, as it ab sorbs impurities, and mold be unfit f,d , drinking, but either have a lid to your p•toh er, or cover it with a clean cloth, • to keep dust and insects out, and set it on the ledge outside your window, in the pure, fresh air. A. census marshal in New York, the other day encountered the towering form of a Mi. lesion lady, and with suavity stated his busi• nese. 'Look here young man !' and the young man looked. 'Look here, I say in 1860 a man (God rest his sou)) axed the self same questions of me, he did, and L answered them (God save me for IL) and I answered him with truth in my month, I aid as I'm Bain', and what was the result? A war; a war ! and here you are again, tryin' to get up another, are you? Out wid ye I When it comes to the like of yees runnin' about the land, wakin' up ructions, it's time ye vie hung; and if ye ain't out of this place with. in the time I wink my eyes, the hangin' will come off in the bank yard,' He slid. Of all the declarations of love,' the most admirable one was that which a young, gen• tieman made to a young lady, who asked•him to show bar the picture of tho one be loved, when be immediately presented her with a mirror. Per ltewsurib Row is this for High. 0h,.1 remember it well, .very welt It was a beautiful summer night, and the big moon and a host of twinkling stars were shining brightly in the azure sky. I had long wished for an opportunity to show mj affection for the object of my adoration, and what time would be better than the present? No time. Philosophizing thus, I arrayed •aelf•in m • best clothes, aid extra often- ' tton to the 'ew stra g g ing hairs tatt__the_lip• nearest my nose, an d seizing my guitar I . Started for the abode of my adored one, All • w,as still save two oats on a neighboring shed, who were evidently practising a duet With many variations. Not a light was visible. So, tuning my instrument, I began, in a low, sweet voice, to sing the following song of my own composition, on which I. had been practicing for several months : "Come, love, come, the stars are in the sky, I hear the locust whimile In the fields of yellow rye: Come, love, come, it is for you I sigh, tlh ! darling ripe the window, Or I shall surely die." I had just uttered the last words, and was just preparing to sing the secondverse, . when a large muscular hand was placed ou my slionlder, an - d another one ,miil•way be- --_- tween the back of my head and my heels, and, ern I could realize nty position, I was lifted several feet in the air, and I heard a .•,, • • kiln as I was carried_ Mon 'You're in a bad way, young feller; you; you've got the. disease awfdlly; let's try the water cure,' and the next moment I was -pluuged-bead-first-into-a-large--horse-pond ; -- guitar, clothes, and all. 'How's that - high - rlid - db - d - tbe — wrefelt - with the - heavy __ boots as he turner awa Suakin. shiver- iiw.r — a - cel — terrsin.• I re mined the ?round and it. With tearful oyes I swore never, no never sobeli we liob to.serenade—another— girl with a father or an overgrown brother. And that's what's the, matter with our bach elor at the present time. At a tea party in Washiogton, where Gen. Butler was a guest, the hostess glanced over the-table r and_perceived his cup utifuruished with an important implement, of which he was supposed to appreciate the value. 'Why General Butler,' she exclaimed, in a flutter of ation, lhav'ut you a spoon ?' 'No indeed, medatne,' quickly responded eneralispringi rig-iron:lA is-seat—wit btt well acted esruestness, and slapping his pooh. eta, one atter the sher, 'upon my word, mad. am , it you don't believe me, madame, you may search me The applause *MA greeted this spouts. aeons sally, 'may be more easily imagined than described.' 'Were you in the fi,;ht 7' said an offieet to an elderly negro oa a steamer after taking a fort. 'fled a little taste of it, ash' , 'Stood your ground, did you?' 'No eab, I run.' 'Run at the first fire, did you?' 'Yes sah , would hab run sooner if I bad known it was eomin.' , -Why that is nut very creditable to your courage.' 'pat isn't my line, sah—cookin's my pro• fession.' •But you have no regard for reputation? 'Reputation's nothing to we by the side oh life.' 'Do you oneidor your lifo worth more thee other people's r 'lt'e worth more to me, soh,' A SORRY CASE—That of a Yankee tailor who dunned a man for the amount of his bill. The man said he was 'sorry, very sor ry indeed, that he could not pay it.' Well, said .the tailor, took you for a man that would be sorry, but if you are sorrier than I am, I knock under.' 'Mammy,' said a precious little boy, watt against his will was made to rock tho cradle of his brother, 'if' the 'Lord has any more babies to give away, don't you take 'em.' r s A. disturbed preacher remarked, 'it that cross eyed lady in the side aisle, with red hair and a blue bonnet, don't stop — talking, I must pOint her out to the congregation.' - A , dy of Quincy, 111., has the greatest waterfall on record, having shed tears in• cessantly for three weeks. tier husband says the old bonnet is good enough. Wherefore is a darkey with 'no hair on the top of hie head,' like a candidate for a dub who has been rejected by ita members ? 13eaausa he's a black bald individual. 'Mamma, dear, I think I shall be a duoh• ess' 'What nonsense, Ethel. What ,do you mean r 'Why, how would it be if I married a Dutchman ?' 'Didn't you guarantee, sir, that this horse would not shy before the, fire of the enemy 'No more he won't. Tisn't till after the fire that ho shies. A little girl sent to bunt for eggs come back unsuccessful, complaining that 'lots of bens wore standing around aging nothing.' A. young fellow fond of talking, remarked, am no prophet. •True,' replied a lady, 'no profit to yourself, or any one else. 'Good blood will abate itself, as the old oper said, struck by the redness of his nose. What part of France attracts the most at• tension ? The Bonapartes.' What is it you must keep after giving• it/ to another? Xent word. A dead reekottidv- 7 1,5denlaftag ,one's to , natal expenses. Ns VIVI BER 9
Significant historical Pennsylvania newspapers