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LID' MACHINE SHOP LUMBER YARD ! MIRE suescrihers having enlarged tneir shops and added the latest improved machinery for working Wond and Iron, are now prepared to do till kinds of Work in their Line, and are manufac• wiring the • Willoughby's Gam-Spring Grain and Per / talizer Drill, Greatly Improved.; The Cel ebrated Brinkerhoff Coroshellor; Gibson!? Champion -- Washing Machine; John Aid dlesberger's Patent Lifting Jacks. THE PROPRIETORS OF THE WAYNESBORO' Dvon pcarrn-n naving furnished their shops with the latest un proved Machinery for this Branch of Business, they are now prepared to manufacture -- anal -- furnish--el kinds of BUILDING MATERIAL, such as Sash, Doors, Frames, Shutters, Blinds, Mouldings, some Eighteen Different Styles; _Cor nice, Sift iring, Porticoes, &c, &c., Flooring, Weath erboarding, and LL-KINDS=UNZI4---- We tender our thanks to the community for their liberal patronage bestowed upon us and hope by -rist-erattention - to - Businesa - to - merit - a --- tiWitinice of the same, Also agents for the sale of Dodge & Sevenson's Kirby Valley Chief, and World Combined Reap ing and M swing Machinnes, and the celebrated - may - 7, 18691 GROVBR i BIKER ELASTIC STITCH SEWING MACHINES, 495 Broadway, New York 730 Chestnut street, Philadelphia. POINTS OF EXCELLENCE. Beauty and Elasticity of stitch. Perfection and simplicity of Machinery. Using both threads directly from the spools, No fastening of seams by hand and no waste of thrtad. Wide range of application without change of ad justment, The seam retains its beauty and firmness after washing and ironing. Besides doing all.kiade of work done •by other Machines, these Machines execute the most beauti ful and permanent Embroidery and ornamental work. re The Highest Premiums at all the fairs and exhibitions of the United States and Europe, have been awarded the Grover & Baker Sewing Ma chines, and the work done by them, wherever ex- Whited for competition. ra" The very highest prize, Tun Caosa or THE LEGION Or HONOR, was conferred on the representa tive of the Grover & Baker Sewing Machines, at the Exposition 'Universelle, Paris, 1869, thus attest ing their great superiority over all other Sewing Ma chines. For oafs by D. W. RO BISON, Waynesboro'. NOTICE. The undersigned having had 17 years' experience as a practical operator on Sewing Ma chines w.,utd recommend the Grover & Baher Fam ily Machine as the cheapest and hest machine fur family use r The simplicity of construction and elasticity of stitch made by these machines are two very important points in their favor. 250,000 of these machines are today bearing witness to the truth of our assertions and the demand is steadily increasing. We have also shuttle machines on hand for Tail ors and CoachTtrigners' use. Call and see us. D. W. ROLtIvON, Main st., Waynesboro', Pa. IMMISBORIf MERRY CONFECTIONARY! fiIHE subscribers announce to the public that I they hove opened a Bakery and Confectionary on Main /street, Waynesbore, opposite the "Bow den House", where persons at all times can be sup plied with fresh Bread, Rolls, Pretzels. all kinds of Sweet Cakes, wholesale or retail, A full supply of Candies, Nuts, Fruits, etc., always on band. ICE CREAM regularly supplied during the season. Having erected at considerable expense a first class Bake House they feel confident that in this department of their business they can give general satisfaction. They therefore solicit a share of pub lic patronage. may 5-tf MILLINERY GOODS ! licßeteciaL-fr.L.lXl.R. 6. .EAtserguirsototrl: Ladiee are invited to call and examine her stock.. april 23—tf a,ONCE NTRATED LYE, a full pound in ,ft box at 20 cents. BA L SUDS in largo or small quantities, sold low by . W, A. REID.. ro 3 SASH AND furnished at,short notice. LIDY, FEICK Sr. CO. FIRST PREMIUM FAMILY SLEASEMAN & MORT. TO THE LADIIPS! SOAP-MAILING. JACOB PRICE, D. B. 8U88141., Among the thistles on the bill, In tears sat little Sorrow; "I see a black cloud in the West, 'Twill bring a stereo 10-morrow. And when it storms where shall I be? And what will keep She rain from me! Woe's me !" said Little Sorrow. 'But now the air is soft and sweet, The sunshine bright," said Pleasure; "Here is Ley pipe,—if you will dance, I'll wake my merriest measure, Or. if you choose, we'll sit beneath • The red rose4ree, and twino a wreath ; Come, Come with me !" said Pleasure. - "0,1 want neither dance nor flowers,— They're not for me," said Sorrow, "When that black cloud is in the West, And, it ,ill storm to.morrow ! Andlif it storm., what shall I do? I hare no heart to play with Go ! go !" said Little Sorrow. But lo ! when came the morrow's morn, The clouds were all blown over; The lark sprang singing from its neat• Among the dewy clover; And pleasure called, "Come out and dance! To-day you mourn no evil chance: The clouds have all blown_over !" •And if they have, alas ! alas ! Poor comfort that!" said Sorrow ; "For if to-day we miss the storm, I 'Twill sorely come to-morrow,— , And be the fiercer for delay?. I am too sore at-heart-tolday4 Woe's me !" said Little Sorrow. —Our Young Folks. Father the shadows fall Along my ways; 'Tis past the noon of day. My "westering sun" tells that the eve is near ; I know, but feel no fear, And loved ones have gone home— , A holy band. I hear them call me from the spirit land— A gentle call. O, not alone ! though now I lead the van, And with uncovered head Press on where others led When my young life began. I asa not left alone, Though they are gone ; Sweet voices of the past, And of to-day-- The loved that round my way Still twine about my heart— Tell me how good thou art. 0 holy Light and Love! Beam on my seal, My inmost life control; Then may each pure thought spring; And peace, with gentle wing, Brood like the dove. _l~ - ~ ADVICE TO YOUNG MEN. Upon go to call on a young lady, and she crochets diligently all evening, and only says 'ye? and 'no,' you can go away about nine or a quarter past, without breaking any of the rules of etiquette. Don's make a business of courting any body very -extensively without you want to go in for keeps, and by all means. avoid Sun day evening. There is something in the Sun day evening oir decidedly epoony, and it is just as natural for fellows and girls to get to gether, and court Sunday evenings, as it is for a en to set. Many a promising youth, in the full vigor of manhood, has been drag ged into premature, matrimonial decay by an innocent Sunday evening call. If you are invited to a "sociable' or fair, make yourself sick by smoking your big bro ther's pipe and stay at home, and when you are called upon to suffer do it with alaerity, and think how happy you are compared to the miserable victims who are decoyed into attending. Don't court but one girl at a time. The moat harrowing sight I know of to a sensitive mind is to see a young man full of Christian fortitude and noble ambition, trying to court two girls at once. Don't drift into matrimony, unless you want to get wretched; and don't marry a poor girl unless she has money. If you are calling on a young lady. and the old folks go out of the room about nine o'clock, with a solemn. air, you can make up your mind there's a conspiracy afloat. Don't show any symptoms of fear,but tell the' young lady you were setting up last night with a friend of yours who has the smallpox, and you think you'll go home to get a little sleep. Don't imagine it looks smart to loaf around billiard bells , smoke cheap cigars at. ti high pride, and swallow slops - at twenty cents a glass. It would show more talent on your part to retire to the nearest graveyard and study last year's almanac. ' And don't 'imagine you are a ' hardened bummer just because your lather lets you carry a night key. Some young moo will go to a band °nowt ()alba Common, smoke a cinnamon cigar, arid go bane- thoroughly' ()convinced that they have made a heavy night 'of it, and ought to be looked after. WAYNESBORO, FRANKLIN. COUNTY, PENNSYLVANIA, THURSDAY MORNING, JUNE. 9, 1870., IPCOV"I'XCI.4I.Za. LITTLE BORROW. BY MARIAN DOUGLAS. TO - WARDS EVENING. Aka, maclopea3 dart Via,3txr.ll3r Igeevc-spapar. If you ask a young lady to marry you, and she saga she would rather be excused, don't excuse her. Don't marry—for- money.- If you ate en gaged to a ygung lady who has a fortune, tell her you won't marry her unless she gives it all away to . the poor,, and goes to making vests. Money is,sure to bring unhappiness. I never knew , of a single instance where it didn't bring barrels of unhappiness, and I have seen strong men weep hysterically be• cause they had seven dollars ahead. If you want to be considered—anybody, learn to chew tobacco.immediately. It looks no cultivated and refined to see a young man pull out a tin cannister of tobacco and make a cesspool of his mouth. Ddn't gat into debt unless yan can find some one who is willing 'to trust you, and then don't. Don't stay in your pres e nt — sitfiition all your life because your grandmother says that 'a rolling stone gathers no moss! .1 know -sevettbfgeirltritiffriectlible stones w — Go ave stuck in one place all their lives, and who haven't got moss enough to make a mill sau cer of blannmange. . If you are engaged to a yOung lady, don't make a great many presents unless its a sure thing, for if anything happens she is sure to return your presents. A friend of mine late ly received by express, three pair of decayed corsets, the same number of white silk hose, one dozen dirty pocket kerchiefs, a lot of in itial note paper, a fatted calf, a pair of old gloves, and a broken heart, and be is now looking for another girl of the same size: Please don't get married in church, and have it described in half a column of_dail.. news. It is the cheapest sort of notoriety. . See if you can't go courting without turn. bling your shirt bosom. If courting was a criminal offense,l have seen evidence enough on-a young-man's shirt bosom to hang—bim. Remember that ignorance and conceit go hand in hand; and that 'cheek and impu. deuce are twin brothers.' Young men now-a-days are hardly worth bringing up, and as near as I can find out they seem to be governed by about the fol lowing rules: 1 It is better to receive a small salary and be constantly in debt than to earn a largo sal. ary by doing something that isn't genteeL 2. It is more blessed to invite yourself to dinner with a friend than to run the risk of having to invite him. 3. If a friend asks me to stop over night with him and take breakfast, it is my duty to stop several nights and eat several break fasts •to show him that I appreciate his kind ness. 4. One old friend who you can borrow money of is worth — moreahan a dozen new ones who nre doubtful 5. If a h ielad is smoking a cigar, it is my solemn duty to ask him if he has the mate to it. . 6. The first principle to be observed .in buying cigars is to buy 'odd ones, then I can truthfully say that 1 have.no mate. 7. It f can't wear kid gloves and diamond studs, why seek to drag out a miserable ex• istence in a world where all is dreary and blank? If some young men had died when they were children, they would have been an or• nament to their sex. , A correspondent from Garretsville furn ishes the Portage . County Democrat with the following romantic story, which is of relisha ble interest. The family name of the parties alluded to is French : A story of real life, shrouded somewhat in romance, runneth in this wise. About thir ty three years ago a young lady, about fifteen years of age, beautiful and accomplished, but specially noted for her musical talent, for she could sing like a bird, was wooed and won by a young mechanic, who' was also a noted singer. The union did not prove har monious, and after,an existence of about six months, the young wife returned to her paternal roof for support and protection. A committee was selected to confer with the estranged parties. One of the committee. men was Hon. D. H. Tilden, of Cleveland. The committee effected, nothing in the way of reconciliation. The husband went his way. A divorce, wavbtatned, but I have not been advised which was the complaining party. A son was born, in whom the pride of the mother was centred more and more, as he grew from infancy to childhood, stud from childhood to =oboe& for she was in him re warded more than mothers often are. The father married again and reared a family of children. His name often appears in print, for he is an author of music and a singer of note. More than thirty years have dragged their crooked lengths along . and disappeared behind eternity's veil. During all this time, I believe, the sabre in this drama met 'not; but strange things to happen. The second wife sickened and died ; after a while the.busband sickened, and as be lay on his bed, uncertain of thefuture, memory called up the past in long review; some little wrongs may have tingled his consciedee— at all , events, he longed to .see her, around whose life he had wantonly wrapped the dark mantle. Efforts were made to get her by his bedside; they wore successful; a recoil. ciliation Was effected, and she administered to him during his indisposition. When suf ficiently corivaleacent, together they visited her old home; kindly words, were spoken; the dark - past forgotten ; assurance of fealty in the future made, and again the baud was promised. Last night, May sth, they were married—the life journey so early begun, so. soon disconnected, was commenced anew. , Every man has in his own life follies enough—in his own mind troubles enough —in the performance of .bis duties defisien. eies enough; without being over curious a• bout the affairs of others. Pleasure is like a hornet- 7 -genetally ends with a sting. Thrilling Inoideni. During the recent fire arSt. Paul, Minn., two brothers, who wore, imprisoned by the flames, leaped from a window a distance of about 100 feet and were not killed. The Bt. Paul Press tells the story in this wise : Their names are August and Karl Mueller. These boys (natives of SaionY) had been in this country about four years; and by , steady, honest industry and pleasant manners bad won a gapd name and fair business piospects. They worked for Mr. Grisworld—;one of our leading merchant tailors—for three years, and bad just got nicely underway in a little establishment of their own. Between them, as brothers, there seems to have existed the most intimate and tender friendship. Praying and studying together as children, and now as men living together; having a common purse, betrothed to two sisters, they afford a rare speotaole of mutual affection and respect. Courage and good will in their hearts, they_are-ready-for-the-chances-of-the dayas they sit , in, the shop on that quiet afternoon, their 'pleasant chat broken only by the hum of the new sewing machine they had just bought and found' to Work like a chart( little dreaming how swiftly the whole ground work of rife was to be swept from beneath their feet. First, a sudden darkening of the light; smoke and hot flame wirling into the open windows, singing the hair and beard off August as be sits at work. The room is 'black with the stifling vapor; they bear each other's voices but- see noth ing., 'Karl, my brother, where are you 1' August has opened the door into the hall - • ;-oloudrof awoke here also, and as they lift for a moment he peers down the narrow stairway-i:ad sees the foot-of-it-opetrito the very jaws of hell. No chance there.--= Karl, groping, touched his brother's sleeve; they clasp bands and make - their - way to the rear of the building. The wind is blowing from the east, and they are delivered from the blinding smoke.- Here ,once more is the blue coping -- of the sky. Now they have fresh sir and can think a moment. No escape to the rear, nor right, nor left, and in front a hundred feet — of nether air. Now, lads, if in all the past you have learned aught that can serve in 'this great need, bring it forth, and quickly. They are seen at one moment looking far off toward the rim of the horizon, as if appealing for succor to the unpitying, heavens; the nest 'moment they appear at another window and cry aloud` to those below. August climbs through the window, and Karl, bending, holds both his hands and lets him down the fate of the wall. He can not, dare not, let go. "Mein l,ruder, leh kann define hand nicht loslassen P Poor fellow, he can jump out himself fast enough, but he has no heart to let his brother drop to almost certain deaah on rocky bluff below—and August is pulled back into the room. The sunshine lies broad and peaceful on the opposite bills; the Mississippi, rolls by listless and indifferent. Life is very sweet. What can be done Y Nothing. The brutal, overpowering fortes of nature have these two human hearts at a disadvantage. The fire is behind them, overhead, under—eager, remorseless; while the air is heavy with the bodings of despair, and woe, and untimely death. Some swift interchange of parting, and Karl stands up in the window— balances— leaps ! Every heart stops beating,, and the bieath is held while this human body—the very temple of Deity— surrenders every pow er and permits itself to be hurled through the air and dashed upon . the earth as though it were a clod. The hundreds gathered /below rash for- ward to gather up the poor shattered form, rolling over and down ,the bluff. Thank God, ho is alive I But stand from under, the other brother is coming. He clings to the edge of the window, and, pushing him self out from the wall with one foot, lets, go his hold at the same instant, and--thesame revolving spectacle of a man falling mid air —he lies broken and bleeding. And these truehearted brothers, ,at the first dim sense of returning consciousness, made inquiry each for the tile and safety of the other. They had many friends before this sad oc currence—their comrades the Turners, the firemen, and all who knew them—bat the entire community will now rejoice to see them once more restored to lonia, .and be glad to welcome them baik to the active life they had begun in such true 'manly style when overtaken by this distressful stroke. They have the best 'medical- attendance and the" kindest care. Karl, the younger, can sit up a little in bed, although suffering from some broken ribs, but August finds ease only in lying immovable upon his back.— .They have no fever, and this cool and moist wheatber is regarded as very favorable to their wounds. TheY.have taken no nourish. meat since the 'day of the fire, but they drink water freely. A MAN 143 YEARS OLD —There is tkman living in the mountains of North Carolina, not more than forty miles from Greenville, S. C., says the Tarboro' Carolinian, who has reached the extraordinary age of 143 years. At the time of Braddock's defeat be was 20 years old, and had a wife and three ehildren. A gentleman at Greenville states that this man had come down to us from a former gen eration, had always been in moderate circum• stances, and lived upon plain, coarse vegeta , ble diet; he never- drank any liquid but spring water, and bids fair to live many years longer. Ho enjoys perfect health, possesses all of manhood's attributes, and wishes to marry. "He has survived seven wives, and having lost his last one about sixty years ago, be now begins to feel quite lonely. 'The moon Solomon was called wise--be• cause ho had seven hundred wives and kept out of the insane asylum. We should like to see him try seven hundred modern ladies. Truth about Death. • The common mode of dimming this sub• jest, so interesting to every ope of us, is so stilted over our heads that we are, glad - to heat CominCn Seiree hate his say about it Thus sensibly and justly writes aonitr 'able man in the English Review: • „ . ' ',lt is a great thing, nnutterly awful, and thrilling, when, for the, first time in our ives, Death, the 'Conqueror, makes himself known to as in all the mystery of his might an in. exorableness. Evor3i day the newspaper has' its ObitnarY; yon are well await that people die every Minute; you hive been in the liab. it of looking up at closed blinds in the street with some sort of awe and hatchments in the great squares have touched you as Might a baronial ruin ; a neivly' made grave has not - Weil without - a 'voice arid a moral funerals hitie intercepted your path in the thorough fares - people have tied next door to you— but even' death next door is far off—a vague distant - terror;trirtiritit darklf w Elf) re's once, Stand with suspended respiration and fevered temples, stand under the droopkg of his wings, as he inexorably stoops to breathe the - last chill upon the forehead of, some loved one; feel that the solemn shadow in which you stand is deepening; kneel-when the sil ver cord is snapped, kneel by the pale corpse in the hush of an hour before dawn, when no sounds are to be beard but the sobs of passionate mourning and the ticking of a clock—and say to God the 'never more of a bereaved heart'--the Help, Lord, or I per ish 1' of a soul that has come into the deep waters. So stand—so kneel—so cry unto the Lord of life, and you will know what death is, and what celestial hope may rise at last luminous and large out of the blackness • - • • twin that word—dead. A' simple child, a simple child, That lightly draws its breath, And fed its life in every What should it know.of death! And is beautifully said. But I wee long, very long past the age of childhood, before I could bring myself to believe in dying— To this day, I can with difficulty, only, and by .a direct mental effort, conceive even of one dangerously sick, as dying—dead I So complete does actual present life, even when faint and fluttering, keep its negation out of sight. That the beautiful flame which lights up the eye and glows at the touch, should go out— To die! To lie in cold obstruction and to rot! This sensible, 'warm motion to become A kneaded clod ! And • other' pulses go on beating, -- and the stars to keep step along the sky; and the South wind to ripple the rivers and stir the leaves, and the little children to prattle and play, and the million-fold hum of life to a wake anew every morning, and the round, imptlssitie heaven to be as blue as ever, 0! it is stranger still to me I Dr. W. W. Hall tells this true story of a man who bad accumulated a fortune by hard work and untelentiog attention to business : At fifty years of age he retired home front: business with an ample fortune. .Befdie he was sixty, in fact, in about five years, he died a degraded drunken not. Ilaving nothing to do, time hung heavily. Being inper feet health he had a good appetite—in dulged it, and sat monad the ,house, tolled on the sofa, took . 'naps' in the day time,' and as a result did not sleep well at night; taking but little exercise and eating heartily, he soon began to suffer fromindigestion, or dyspep sia; after each meal , he would feel' op pressed, unoomfortable, and to relieve him• self, at the suggestion of a friend, he took a 'sip of brandy;' be felt better , next day, he took another; then a little more, soon he took it three times a day, before meals as well as after, with the result already detailed.— Thus it is that this side of heaven no wo m b safe from o drunkard's grave, except him who never tastes a drop. of liquor. It might have been thought that fifty years of ab stinence would have been a perfect gaurantee against a vice so degrading, but it was not. SANDIVICUEB.-If best men's faults were written on his fore bead, it would make him pull his hat, over his eyes. lie that is naturally revengeful keeps his wounds open, which otherwise would close of themselves. lie who does his best, however little, is al. ways to be distinguished from him who does nothing. To mingle the useful with the beautiful, is the highest style of art. The one adds grace, and the other value. • • Deliberate with caution, but not with de cision; and yield with graciousness, or oppose with firmness. 'Hard as it is to understand tho difficult parts of the Bible, it is a great deal harder to practice the simple parts.' • If you would Bad a great.many faults, be on the look out. If you , would find them in still greater abuodance, be on the look in. Man Often weeps in his sleep. When awake be:scarcely remembers that ho shed tears. So regarding life; in the second, thou will no longer ,know that thou bast wept in the first. AN IMPERIAL MORMON.---The Emperor of China is fifteen years old, and is to be married this year, with immense pomp, to his chief wife, bis empress. , Ile will be simultaneously provided with second and third wives ~.and from all parts of the Em pire, victims are being collected to swell the list of his harem. Every Tartar family, we believe; is obliged to furnish its quota. Lo cal selections are first made, and the holocaust, is sent to Pekin, where a fresh selection takes place, and 'a''oho'sen' number are condemned to a life-long seclusion. They are not allow ed to see their relations; may never see their lord and master, and in the event of bis death they are still coadetaneli to' perpetual insolation and eelibsoy. , 00.00 Pier :11rOar Do you Subsoribe ? There is an anecdote of which one of our s journ'alis'ts; tin* at the sunimii of bie'profes idon, is the hero: When he' Eolithic:tad a newspaper in the west. he introdunetF the novelty, of reporting eases before the police magistrate: One of MAO in Whieh a brawny butpber, Of Tentetie race, vital' 'brelight up for administering personal . elitreetion to his wife, had some peculiar features which the reporter dressed up in an wining manner. He wasiiitting at his desk,'when the 'defend. ant who .if .not refined', , had been 'fined by the justice, entered the room, in company with a huge bludgeon. With a. stentorian' voice, and itibieken Hagfish; he iequired • by what right he and hie wife. had .been put into the newspaPers,Aiod_itis_frianner was so tbreateeing that the ;titter,: a slight Young stet,. without' ven a cane to use in defeace, saw how very hopeless his case was. Keep- A i r , Jvpeye nn_thc_harly-giant-and drawing hitnielf up id his chair with great dignity, be asked : Do you. aubsoribe for my paper? The enemy stared, and,answered that he did not. Then said the editor; triumphantly. I do not see 'what right you have to find fault with anything that I print in Wheti you pay two dollars which is a year's subsctip don in advance you 'Will have a right to com plain. This was not a Very logical- deduc tion; but it hit. The man, hi's' veil abated tone and moderated manner s nuttered I will go and talk with miee.wife about this, and quitted the office never to reappear in it.-- The editor's presence of mind had saved him from an assault.,--_Proof Sheet. ' 'Myra Myrtle' comes down in the following style upon those 'bashful swains who dawdle and dangle, and west out the girls' patience and good clothes, make a protracted meeting of their halcyon. days, and never summon courage sufficient- to -pop the question and then-question Pop. —lf-there is anything more disheartening to a women than a long courtship Lhave yet to discover it. Rikiia the woman who marries for a home—and there are far too many who do that—to the fair creature who marries for love, there are thousands• who are kept in enspenee for years,•not knowing whether the man whom they expect to marry is really go. ing to propose-or not. It is very certain that long courtships seldom result in matrimony. Et generally happens that the faults of both parties are made evident, and the desire for separation is mutual. _ - Bat no young (or old) man has any right to monopolize the attentions of a lady for years and then .coldly dismiss her. By so doing he possibly prevents her from marry. ing some one who would-be glad to have her, and nets a part Which no gentleman will. 80, gentlemen, when you have decided that the lad , • of your choice (and don't be ong about it) 'pop the question' and set her heart at test. AN.OLD DARazy.—The Petersburg (Va.) papers relate the following registration inci dent in that city: An aged colored mho came up to his:voting place upon crutches, seemingly with great difficulty. The prescribed formula, 'Flow old are you ?' was asked, when the old man was thrown into much perplexity. Reoover lag himself, however, he muttered in an un dertone, which was overheard. 'Well, how ale is my ole masa ?' It so happened that a gentlespan was stand ing — by, well acquainted with him, 'who promptly answered : 'Your old master is about fifty-five years of ag e.' 'Well, how ole is ole mime ?' 'Sheds about forty five years old.' 'An' Miss Sally ?° 'Thirty-five, perhaps, next fall,' , 'An' young minus. JNineteen this coming August.' • 'Well, I'se older den all put togodder; for I knows when day all was born.' It is needless to say that the old man was . passed, amid the good feelings of all present. SCENE IN.COTIET.At a trial in an Ala- Immo town lately, one of the witnesses, an old lady of some eighty years, was closely questioned by the opposing counsel relative to the clearness of her eyesight : 'Can you see me ?' said he. 'Yes,' was the answer. glow well can you see me ?' persisted the lawyer. 'Well enough,' responded the lady, 'to see that you're neither a negro, an Indian, nor a gentleman. The answer brought down the counsel. A. Detroit negro prisoner, on his way to the penitentiary for larceny, was asked what he thought of his trial. He said : 'When dat lawyer dat fended me made his speech, I thought Allah I was going to take my ole bat and walk . right out:of dat co't room ;Int when. de oder lawyer got up and commenced talking, I knew I was do biggest rascal on top of de earf.' • 'What do you mean by eat and dog life ?' said a husband to his angry wife. 'Look al Carlo nod Kitty asleep on, the rug I wish men lived halt as peacably with their wives.' 'Stop,' said the lady, 'tie them together and see how they will agree,' .At Ottumwa, lowa, a nice young man put a sheet around him to scare a Datchman.— Some•one asked the young man afterward what ailed his bind; eye, and he said he had received bad news from Germany. Aunt Susan says: •Suppose all men were in ono country, and all the women in.anotb. er, with a big river between them. Good gracious 1 what lots of poor women would be droWned • ' One of the gentler sex saps that the haa v an of the strong-minded Women is 'where buttons grow in their proper places, and men cease from bothering, and needles are at rest.' NUMBER 48
Significant historical Pennsylvania newspapers