. . . . . I';*-- s. " l- :: - ' 1 • - •:.:17 - •55 1 % ' , - : - . . . ~,• , . . ' ••,:.,'••• ',' '... " -•' ..... I ''"-':.• •-•:7' - '4: - . ' ", . ' . . , - • • . . • ..... _ . .:;..,..;;......,- i '-' ~ :„. • . , . , • . . . . . . .... 11?- t * ~,.. I , , iii , : . 4 :, , T . ,,,, • ~1 ' • , • ._. , . .- i,, . •,-- - . ;., .....,„.,,,,, - .., : • ........... , ~,,,,.,.,:,: . . .._.. • - .., )iik- r 1 Tie, ."- . 4,1 11 :-1,4.; -4 . 4 '..- - ''' ...(N. . ' -... !v4:44.e...1f I.' ,'"-' 4r ' • . , LL . ._\ 1 ~- 7 '.='4.-...-y:, ., ~-...,:,-... , 1.';,.:'...--.. 0 .-/ - " 7 ".::: .' ' AA.;. -:.-::::.-`,".:2 . '':•`.:.:". '. '. .••-•,:.; ~ %i11.16..10.. --§,[A ~ ~. . .r.„..,..,.,,,_„.2.4,..„.......m4..:,..„.113z.,...„,, • ''''' 4- 4, Y - 7/ 1 7 9 7 71. 4. 4'.- ' S 'rt '''' t'.f% "' • ~ . i , - • . . . V W. .1131etiv. OLUME XXII. JASON HELL G. Y. LIDY, ACIIINE SHOP LUMBER YARD ! HE sucserihers having enlarged tneir shops and added the latest improved machinery for • mking Wood and Trop, are now prepared to do ill hinds of Work in their Line, and are manufac. ming the Villoughhy:s Gum-Spring Grain and Fer talizer Drill, Greatly Improved; The Cel ebrated Brinkerhoff Corneheller; Gibsons' Champion Washing Machine ; John Rid dlesberger's Patent Lifting Jacks. THE PROPRIETORS OF THE WAYNESBORO' - SASH AND 13nnn RaTITY niring—furnisbed—Their—abaps_with_tbe_latestim , revel Machinery fur this Branch of Business, they re now prepared to manufacture am! furnish all =DING MATERIAL, uch as Savh, Doors, Frames, Shutters, Blinds, °sidings, some Eighteen Different Styles; Cor. ice, Staking, Porticoes, &c. &c.,l"looring, Weath• rboard , and ALLIUNDS- LUMBER furnished et short notice We tender our thanks to the community for their iheral patronage bestowed upon us 'and hope by istet Attention to Business to'rnerit a continuance f the same. Also agents for the sale of Dodge & Sevenson's - trhy Valley Chief, and World Vombined Reap ng and M'.wing Machinnes, and the celebrated "tipper Mower. —may 7, 1869] DROVER I BIKER litST alt E LASTIC STITCH FAMILY EWING. MACHINES, 495 Broadway, New York 730 Chestnut street, • Philadelphia POINTS OF EXCELLENCE nes uty . an.l Elasticity of stitch. Perfection rind simplicity of Machinery. Using both threads directly from the spools. No fastening of Neofus by .hand and no waste of hr. ad. Wide range of application without change of ad ustinent, The ream retains its beauty and firmness after and ironing. Best(les doing all kinds of work done by other i fuchinem, these Machines execyte the most beauti .ul and permanent Embroidery and ornamental ork. r e The Highest Premiums at all the fairs and •xhibitiona of the United ettatee and Europe, have been awarded the Grover & Baker !sewing Ma hines, and the work done by them, wherever 122- i iibiteti for competition. . !lam' The very highest pr'ze, THE CROSS OF THE I .ROWN OR 111olsOR.,•WaS confer, ed on the represents ive of the Grover & Bakt r ISevring Maetnnes, at he Exposition Universelle, Paris, 1869, thus atte.t. rig their great supetiority over al/ other tzewibg Ma= h Ines. For gala by D. W. ROBISON, Wayneaboro' NOTICE. The aodete.tgued buying bad 17 years' xperience as a practical operator on Sewing Ma quilt; tv...uld recommend the prover & BaKer Fain- iy Machine as the cheapest and hest machine for , smily nee. The simplicity of construction and" Insiicitv of stitr h mode by these machines are two cry imp' rtnut points in their favor. 250,001) of here muchii es are to day hearing witrras to the rush ot our tissertiolis and the decm.nd is steadily nem:is:in* t have also shuttle machines on hand for Tall. ,rs anti Coaeh•triintnerh' te.e. Call and see us. fantl.ON, Main et., Waynesboro', Pa. HIST "FALL ARRIVAL!" IXTELSH bus just received a full assortment of I VY Goads, in hie line of business. stock onstdas in part, of all tho latest styles of bien's and boys HATS AND CAPS, Mee's, Women's, Mane's, Boy's and Children's BOOTS GAITERS, SHOES 1.1.1 Slippers of every description. Ladies and Mimeo CZ. 5Z3 :Or 1:21 E4::s i.intuit Frames, Trimmings, Sundown', and Hats )revs Trimmings, Hoop Skirts, Hair ,Nets, Hair l:oils, osiery, Gloves, Parasols, Sun Umberellas. &c. Scho.d. Blank and Mis¢ellun.oua Bnoks,Station• ry of alt kinds; Notions and Fancy Goods.. • All of whist' will he sold , as sheen as the cheapest. vela 20 J. IL. WELSH SOAP-MAKING. CONCENTRATED IX E, a full pound in a LI box at ;3O cents. SAL CUD 1 tularge ur smull Luantines, Mold low by W. A. Mob 3 jWA N 1.% D.--L win exchange goods at a filar whet price for !imam I.Ato, But tor, Ergs, Cot on Rage, small Onions if delivered immediately, 'coup Deans, lftc. W. R EU). JACOB nick, B. B. MOLL, LIDY, FRWK & CO. WAINESBORO', FRANKLIN COUNTI, PENNSYLVANIA, THURSDAY HORNING, APRIL 21, 1870. Pociamexci.A.xx. 177, ~1111-: •:"7-7.1111461*, •, , , SPRING'S FIRST GIFT. BY MARGARET E. SANGSTER., Oh ! Spring, if thou hadet nothing brought Save thy sweet self to win us. qf only thy fair hand had wrought A spell of beauty in us, Need where, that we should sing thy praise, Who thrill to thy caresses, And feel the gladness of the days That all our being blesses ! For vie had thought thy coming slow And had no heart to wait thee !_ Forgive us, love, since lung ago We all went out to meet thee. We went b each untrodden way We sought in silent places, For well we knew our patient faith Should find thy flower traces! A nd i -hitlaen-hrt4f-by sere (lead leaves, We saw a yin e-lire growing; Sure never fullest uturnn sheaves Awaken joy so glowing. Hereafter Summer's roses may In red or white salute us, But this is day, The gay we found arbutus ! Oh ! clover on the meadow slopes, Oh! daisies by the river, Oh! little buds to light that open, Oh ! cedar green forever ! Not one so wins our hearts to•da• As this, whose brown disguises Of-withered-leaves and-lances-gray - Gave us such glad surprises. So shy and sweet beneath our feet, Green leaves and waxen flowers, The snow-white, blushing pink to meet Such looks of love titi ours! And spring no more mny hide away, • Nor shun our smiling faces, Since, lingeFwheresoe!erlithe may, We know her trysting *places. r~• - • WASHINGTON'S TEMPTATION BY GEOROE LIPPARD There_are many days in winter when the air is very soft and balmy, as the early days of summer, when glad maiden May seems to blow warm breatirin the grim face of l+'ebru• a i ry, until the rough old warrior laughs a gain. It was one morning like this that the sun shine was streaming over a high rock that frames far above the Wisahikon A high rock, attainable only by along and winding path, fenced in by the trunks of gi- ant pines, whose boughs in the coldest day of winter form a canopy overhead; And near the nook—the chamber in the forest, for tt was nothing else—sat an oid man, separated from it by the trunks of the pines. whose boughs concealed his form. That old man had come here atone to think of hii two sous now freezing at Valley Forge, for, though the father was a tory, his two sons were continentals. Ho was a well mean ing man, but some half crazy idea about the divine right of George 111, lurked in his brain, and kept him back from the oawp of Washington. And now, on this morning in February, he had come here to think the matter ovt.r. While be was pondering this deep matter over, he heard the tramp of a horse not fur off. and looking between tha trunks of the pines, he saw a man dismount and advance into the quiet nooks of the moss•covered rocks. Leaving this aged man to look upon the intruder Maisel!, let. us look upon blll.l with our OVIII eyes. As he conies through those thick boughs we behold it man over six legit, with his wan ly form cove-loped in a cuarhe gray overcoat; a chapeau on his bold forehead —and beneath the coat you may see the military boots and also the eud of a scabbard Aud who is this p ruan of kingly presence, who conies here alone to puce this moss cov ered ricess with drooped head and folded arms 7 W ashington As he meditates upon the awful condition of his siarvidg army at Valley Forge, anoth er loan, equally tall as his own, emerges from the boughs, and unperceived gazes up on the warrior. A moment passes, and as Washington turns and meets the stranger's gaze, a strong resemblance is noticed. The same height, breadth of Chtibt, limbs, say, almost the same faces; save that of the stranger in outline, and , 00ly lacks that calm consciousness of u great soul, which stamps the countenance of Washington. That resemblance is most strange, they are clad in the same coarse gray coat, their cos tumes are alike—yet bold— The stranger throws open his overcoat, and you behold that hangman's dress, that British uniform, flashing with gold and stars. Washington starts back, and lays 'his hand upon his sword. And as those two men, so strangely alike, met there by accident, under that canopy of houghs, one wanderiog from Valley Forgo, one from Philadelphia, let 'me tell you at once that the stranger was none other than the Master Butcher of the idol king, Sir William Howe. Yes, there they met, the one the imper sonation of freedom, and the other the tie. zeled Luckey of u tyrant's will. Xxiclea:pars deuxt \Te•wmizoa,r)ori. We ' will listen to their corereation, it is brief but important. For a moment the British General stood apell.bound before the man whom he had crossed the (neva to entrap and bring home; the Rebel who.had lifted his hand against the right divine of the British I've i To that British General there was something awful about the soldier who could talk with his God as Washington bad a moment ago. cannot be mistaken,' at length said Sir William Howe. behold before me the chieftain of the rebel army, Ifister Wash. ington r Washington coolly bowed his head. , .Then, this is a happy hour, far ,we to• gether o r give peace and free s dom to this unhappy land' At this word. Washington started with surprise, advanced a step, and then exclaim. ed— 'And who, sir, are you that thus boldly promises peace and freedom to my country ? 'The commander of his Majesty's 'forces in America,' said Howe, advancing along the wood hidden rock towards General Washing- King,:iny master, has heard of your virtues, which alone dignify the re/volt with the name of a war; and it is you, that he looks for the termination of this most disastrous contest.' Then Washington, whose pulse had never quickeried• before all the panoply of British Telt,hie-great-heart-fluttie - b - o - ifism; - as that great boon was before hie eyes, peace and freedom to his native land Yes,' continued Howe, advancing another' step, my Kruk - criiikiTto you forthe orating: - tiou of this unnatural war. Let rebellion once be crushed—let the royal name be fi nally established by your influences; then, sir, behold the gratitude of King George to Mister Washington l' Aa he spoke, he placed in the hands of Washington a •massive parchment, sealed, with the broad seal of England, and signed with the name of King George, Washington-tank-tile parchment, opened and read it, but his face did not change a muscle. And yet the parchment named Allis 'ter Washington, GEO. DUKE WASHINGTON, of Mt Vernon; our well beloved servant, VICEROY* OF AMERICA 1 Here was a boon for the Virginia planter; here was a title and a power for the young man who was one day struggling for his life -away-there,-amid-the-fleating,_on—the—dark-- Allegheny. - For a moment the face of Washington was buried in that parchment, and then, in a low deep voice, he spoke: 'I have been thinking,' said he; 'of the ten thousand brave men who have been mas sacred in this quarrel. I have been think. ing of Bunker Hill, Lexington, Quebec- Trenton; yes, the dead of Germantown, 'Sar • atoga, Brandy wine, and—' 'And your King,' continued Washington, with a look and tone that would have cut in to the heart of marble, 'would have me bar ter away the bones of the dead for a ribbon and a title 1' And then, while Howe shrunk cowering back that noble Virginia planter, Washing ton, crushed that parchment into the sod with the heel f his warrior boot ; yes, tram pled that title, that royal name, into one mass of rage and dust. 'That's my answer to your King!' And there be stood, with scorn on his brow, and in his eyes, his outstretched arm pointing at the minion of King George. Wssn't that's; picture for the pencil of an angel And now that British General re covering from his first surprise, grow as red as his uniform, with rage. 'Your head,' ha gasped, clenching hie hands, 'will•yet relideu the traitor's block' Then IVashinton's hued sought his sword, then his fi ree spirit awoke within him , it was his first impulse to strike the braggart quivering in tho due. But in a moment ho ;pew more calm. 'Yours is a goad and great King,' he said, with his usual stern tone. •At first he is determined to sweep a chide continent With five thousand men, but soon finds that his live thousand men most swell to twenty five thousand, before ha can oven begin his work of murder; then he sactifiees his own subjects thouands—and bnichers peaceful far mers by taus of thowaads—and yet his march of victory is not even begun Then, if he conquers the capital city of the conti nent, victory is sure s Beheld the city is in his grasp, yet still the host et' freedom defy him, even from the huts of Valley Forge.. •And now, as a lust resource, your King conies to the than whose head yesterday was sought, with a high reward, to grace the gates of London—he offers that rebel a Dukedom—a vieeregai scepter! And yet, that, rebel tiatuples the Dukedom into the dust--that rebel crushes into 'stoma the very name of such' a King.' Ah, never a spaniel skulked away from the kick of his toaster as 'General Howe cringed away from the presence of Washing ton Ho mounted his horse and was gone.- One word with regard to the aged tory, who beheld the scene from yonder bushes, with &digitate wonder, admiration and fear. That tory went home. 'I have seen George Washington -at, prayer,' be said to his wife. •The man who can wimple upon the name of a King as he did—pray to God as htkpruyed—that man eounot be a rebel or a bad man., To morrow I will join my two suns at Valley Forgo.' BE SQUARELY HomEst—Never try dirty dodges 'to wake wonoy. It will never pay you to lie!: honey off of thorns. Au hottest man will not wake a dog of himself for the puke of getting a bone. He needs to . bave a loug spoon who would eat out or the 831110 dish with Satan. Never ruin your soul for the sake of pelf ; it is like drowning your. self in a well to . get a drink of water. Tube Pow ethi rig "in baud that way -btiug you re. peotauee. The Touch of Kindness. One Monday forenoon, Mr Murray, the Methodist minister of Arlington, sat in his study, engaged in counting money which had been taken up by contribution at his church, on the previous evening, for benev olent purposes. Before this work was done he was called away; and Upon his return be found a boy in the act of taking a handful of the silver from the table. Mk. Murray knew the boy as the son of a. poor widow who lived not far away, and knew that his nameowas John Landers. The little fellow dropped the money, and started back, trem bling in every joint. He had come in by .the window and could not easily make his escape; but it was evident, from the look of dogged resolution which gradually , settled upon hie ruddy face, that he was prepared to defend himself should violent hands be laid upon him. 'John,' said the kind hearted minister, am sorry for this. That money is not mine. It has been collected for the poor and needy of our church. If you had taken it, you would have 'robbed those who are poorer than 1 -you-are:Zati-you-read-P The boy stammered out a faint and quiv ering:Yes, sir.' The minister turned to his library, and took down a small book, neatly and prettily bound. 'Here, my ROD, is a nice book, which I -give you as a present. It is the story of, a poor boy who was enact tempted as you have been, mid who afterwards grew to be a good man. It will be worth . more to_yon than money. Take it, • •and may God bless and guide you!' The boy took the book, and burst into tears. He tried to say.eomething, bur sobs choked his utterance, and with more kind words the minister led him to the door, and dismissed him. That very season the Conference assigned Mr. Murry a new pastorate. Twelve years _possed_away,_at_the-end o t-tv ich-t iaie-he was placed in charge of the church at Auburn ; and he found one of the leading members of hie now society to be the foremost law. yer of the place, and a man of sterling worth and influeuce— his name, John Landers Could it be the boy of the other years ? Aye,—it was even so. 'said the prosperous, happy man, as he held the old minister by the hand, -‘those-kind - words -- of - yours, and the — kinder act, in the darkest hours of my life, touched me to the heitrt, and awoke- mete a new es istecce ' • and from that time I girded on the armer of righteousness, and stood up to the battle aloof ully. The result yon see. And now I say to you, as you, once said to me, —'God bless you l' I have blessed you over since that time, and will bless you while I •live.' THE FIRST THOUSAND DOLLARS.—The fist thousand dollars a young' wan earns and saves will generally settle the question of business life with him. It is the fruit of personal industry. He gives his time and his labor for it. While ho is thus earning and saving it, he must earn two or three, or perhaps feur times as much to pay his car. rent expenses. Ile is consequently held sternly to the task of industry for a very con siderable period. The direct consequence to him is n steady, continuous, and amid disci plum in the habits of industry, in patient, persistent, forecasting and sell denying . ef fort, bre•king up all the tendencies to indo lence and frivolity, and malting him an ear nest and watchful ettonotniet'of time. He not only learns how to work, but he also ac quires the love of work; and, moreover, he learns the value of the whole sum which ho has saved ont•of hid tarninge. tie has toiled for it; he has oliservud its slow increase from time to time; and in his estimation it repre sents so many months or years of practical labor.—Rev. S. T. Spear. EVERY CHRISTIAN A TEAZHER. A Christian is an instructor. lle has been taughit, and ho bccomes a teacher; he has found the preciousness of knowledge, and ho seeks to impart :It. lie feels that what he formerly needed so much was"leachini, that what the world kilt needs is teaching, and so ho 'becomes a Leacher. Not as if setting up for superior powers or knowledge, but simply as ono tvb o has had a treasure im parted to him, arid who therefore longs to impart to his poorer fellow creatures his divine goliand silver. He sees-That the great need of humanity is teaching, true teaching, teaching in the things pertaining to the true God, and he sets himself fervent• ly to teach an untaught world. Ho does not confine himself to a small inner circle, but ho has his eye on everybody; not with one or two is he content. lie remembers the words of commendation to Levi : 'He walked with me is, peace and truth, and did turn away many from iniquity.' QUESTIONS FOR WOMEN 11Y A WOMAN --lima we not—ewes, while the power "of the world is with, uteri, the Whence lies with wowed—cau we not bring up oar girls wore usefully and less showily—less depen dent ou luxury ausi wealth? • Can we not teach them from bi byhood that to labor is e highet• thing that.' merely to enjoy, that even eujoyatent itself is never. so sweet as when it hod been eetranti ? Can we not put into their winds, whatever be their station, principled of truth, simplicity of taste, hope tumo's, haired of waste, and those being firm iy rooted, trust to their ' blossoming up in whatever destiny die young maiden way be called to ?--Afiss 41/u/ock: Dr. Oliver Wendell Holmes soya the Widows that cry easy are the first to marry await). There to nuthiug like wet weather fur transplanting. Fritz,hays that at tho lecture the other evettiog the audience woro so iutiet that you cou'd hear 'a bed tick. Behavior in Church. Here is a paragraph on behavior in church, which has a secular application : ' We may classify the petty Incivilities et church lif6 thus: 1. ,Smells —Violent perfumes, especially those containing musk, are ,disagreeable to most persons, and to some positively dis tressing. There is no smell so universally pleasant as no smell. Never scent yourself when going into a crowded assembly. The same is true of the residuary smell of tobacco which hangs about the garments and afflicts the breath of those who habitually smoke. But tobacco 'almost invariably makes men self-indulgent and regardless of others' con venience. More brutal yet are they who go to - church reeking, like a Dutchman's soup, with smells of onions. There are scores of people who have lost all profit of a Sunday service by the sickening 'smell which sur rounds them. 2. Sounds.—Whispering in church during the service is an affront to politeness. Much of the coughing which goes on in church arises from the poisonous gases and personal effinvia-which-existsritt-utrventilated-church= es. But the power of the will over the muscles which do the coughing is very great. A heedless person will cough twice as much as needful—will cough at the worst times 'as t able, will eonuh plump—upon—necks—of those before him, instead of embalming the sound in his-handkerchief-as,—with a little skill and politeness, he might easily do. We would not forbid men who cannot sing to 'make a joyful noistr—but it should be a softly noise. In all eases when it is a man's duty to sleep it ohuroh, it is his duty also to snore with the soft pedal down. 3. Sight —Every one likes to see the minister, it cannot be done through your body. True, you cannot help being before somebody unless you are on the bank seat. But, with a little thought you may very much help those behind you. And conduct which shall divert the attention of others from the service, such as ostentatious play= ing with a watch cr opening and shutting it, reading books or papers, looking about in quisitively, is impolite. Many churches have the Ten . Command ments set upon the wall, is sight of the whole oongregttion; although not one of the sins reprobated therein is likely to be com mitted in dwelt time, Would it not be well to have another tablet enumerating the sins which men are prone to commis in church time ? OLDEN GRAIN; —We do not want pre. eepts eo much as patterns. Our reputation_ depends- greatly on the choice of our buttpaniontr. The best consolers of human hearts may bear broken hearts in their own bosoms. Life is but a trust; let us be careful in our dealing, anit our, account. may be ap proved. lie who never gives advice, and he who never takes it, are alike unworthy of friend• ship. J he good man's life; liko the mountain top, looks beautiful bLeause it is near to :leaven. You cannot dream yourself into a char acter; you must hummer and forge yourself into one. • God writes the gospel, not in the Bible alone, but e a u trees and flowers, aid clouds and stars. • Gratitude is the music of the hear-t-. when its chords are swept by the gentle breeze of kindness. Nature is a boob of sweet and glowing purity, and on every illuminated page the excellenoe and goodness of God are divinely portrayed. _ - BATUING.—A daily bath for the whole body is not too much. Health may not ab solutely require this, but there are few per sons who would out bo benefited by a com plete washing of the skin, from head to foot, at least once every day. The feet need wash ing as much as the head, as perspiration up on them is very abundant. Feet that aro eased in wool and leather, are not excepted trout this necessity of cleansing. Digestion is freer when water is applied above the or gana of digestion; and the washing of the chest helps one to breathe more freely.— Bathing makes the limbs supple, and it opens the muscles to breathe !row, it such an un scientific statement may be permitted. Ad will agree that io the second month of sum mer a daily bath 18 a luxury not to be omit ted, but in winter it is hardly less necessary, and the reaction which follows wales it a luxury even in the most ioeletuent season.— /tenth/ nj Health. The following good nod truthful story is told by a gentleman who went . to visit some old Indiana friends in Boone county, Iowa: 'The family consisted of the busbued, his wife and two• grown sons. The good old la dy was the only one of tho family who did not take a little of the .0 be joyful. ring by the fire a few minutes the old man tipped him a wink, and the visitor followed him ont. Stopping by a tree, he pulled out a loog necked bottle, rennalking, huve to keep this hid, for the boys might get to drinking, and the old lady would raise the d--l. They took a drink and returned to the fireside. Soon Tow, the eldest son, asked the visitor out to gee a colt, and taking him behind the - barn, pulled out a flask, remark ing; 'I have to keep this hid, for the old man w►tl get it and the is.to pay ;' they both took a drink and returned. Soma Bob step ped on the visitor's toe and walked elf, the visitor fullowitig. At they reached the pig pen, Bob drew out a good-sized : bottle re.. walking, 'You know the old man "and Tom will get drunk and I hive to hide this' The' visitor concluded he couldn't stand it to drink confidentially against the whole family, and . started for home. • , Look before yea letip. 95).00 3 01' "Coax. Wuf4 You TAKE A. Bum , ?—An old . farmer, about the time that a temperaeee reform was beginning to exert a healthful iuflueaea•ia the country, said to hie hired matt : etTeUithan; did not think to mention to ynu when I hired you that 1. thick ot try ing soAlo my work, this year without MN flow Much move must I give you to do with out ?P. 'Oh, I don't care much about it,' said Jonathan, 'you may give me what you please. 'Well,' said the farmer, will give you a sheep in the fall, if you will do without,' 'Agreed,' said Jonathan. The oldest son then said : 'Father. •will you give me a sheep, too, if I do without rum ?' 'Yes, Marshall, you shall have a • sheep if you do without.' The youngest, a stripling, then said: 'Father, will you give me a sheep it I do without ?' 'Yee, ,Chandler, you shall have a sheep al so, if you will do without rum. 'reseolly—Uhaudler=spoke-again • 'Father, hadn't you better " take a sheep,. too ?' An Irishman came into this country, 'and soon alter his arrival hired out to a farmer in western Vermont. The farmer lived near a sluggish stream of water_attd_kept_gease. The geese had their goslings in or near the water, when a large black turtle came in sight, took one of the goslings and wallowed it—then hauled in, hie bead sod went under miter. The' IriOhman, on seeing this, went to the. house and repotted as follows : 'O, Mistress I the geese was playing by the wahter, when a grant blank beast, as fiat as a pancake, came up out of the weber and swal lowed it, and then swallowed his bead, and all went over in the wahter and drowned iais self, he did _ _ • 'lf ever - I'm married,' said Ike, looking np from the book 'he was reading, and kinking the stove door to,• 'lt ever I'm married—' *Don't speak of marriage, Tease,' said Mrs. Partingtou, 'till you are old enough to tut lierstaud— the - bond -that—binds - - impaling souls.. People musn't think of marriage with impunity. It's the first thing children think of now•a days; and young boys piano• fortes, and young girls with their heads fricasseed into spittdon earls, are talking of marriage before they get into their canteens. Think of such ones gettiog married l' , A negro presoher in Loaisiatia recently `got off the following for the benefit of his hearers : 'You think de Lord ain't bout heah all de time l If you dna, you is mistaken. One time He met de dabble welkin' round like a rorin' lion, sod de Lord say . I gwino to put you into de pit for a thousand years, an' I got a great mind to pat you in 'clan for two thousand years, after dat, if I ootatt you roan' again put you in dar loreber, ii I's got to do it at de pint eb de bayonet.' That was not a bad reply given recently at a b4ra raising , in Pennsylvania to a young man who had been relating his more than wooderlul exploits is various quarters of tho globe. At the close of one of these narra• tives, he was not a little set bag& by tho re. mark of an a:Ild codger : 'Young man, ain't you ashamed to talk so whey► there are, older liars on the ground.' 'Do you mean to challenge the jury ?' whispered a lawyer to his Irish ehent.— lYis,' be jabers.' was the answer, 'if they don't acquit me, I mean to ehallenge every apalpeen of 'ern; I want ye to give 'mu all a hint of it, too.' A lawyer and a doctor were walking arm• ru. A wag said , to a friesd, 'these two are just equal to one high-waytaan. 'Why ?' war, the response, 'Because it is a lawyer and a doctor—your money or your lite !' A little boy, some six years old, was rising his &ate and period on a Sunday, when big lather, who was a minister, entered, awl said . 'My son, I. prefer that you should not use your slate on the Lard's day.' 'I am drawing meeting houses, father,' was the prompt reply. During the examination of a witness as , to the locality of stairs in a house, )he counsel asked him : `Which way deltic) stairs sun r The witness vary innocently replied : `One way they run up Maim, but the other way they run down stairs.' 'Father; what does the printer live on ?' 'Why. child ?"13eeause you said yon hadn't paid him for four years, and still take the. paper.' 'Wife, spank that chili.' • A german being required to give a reoei7ot in tub, after much mental . effort produeeei the foilorriag : 'lief) foil. I wants no m.ru moo ieh. A little girl seat out to bunt for eggs male beets uoiuoceaetul oomplamiog that. •lute ,of hens were scauditig,z,arpuud dolt% ootinug.' When is a marriage eeremotiy dieidedly fishy. Auswer. When the bride receives her ring, (herring ) Why is a prosy preacher like the middle of a whea' Because the feliews scouJo him ate It le fortunate fora wan that he ir; 4tr, deaf to hear thuodur,' if he has a seoldiu wife. === Who is, the largest - Wan ? The lover; tit, is a watt of tremendous sighs. ATion44.,loye detained ? Who Nit in ull on ono eide. fstM 3ER 41
Significant historical Pennsylvania newspapers