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VOLUME XXII. -
we:. - :-ALlits rk 111
IIRU.G~.,
ICINES
irp a. Jr. ow
rLchillis,
Am &c.,
G o to F ourth man s
T;buiwza.
Waynesboro', May 24, 1867
NEW SPRING
SUMMER GOODS,
AT THE FIRM OF
STOVER Si WOLFF
(SUCCESSORS TO GEO. STOVER.)
DRY GOODS,
CARPETS,
NOTIONS,
QVEENSWARE,
GROCERIES,
BOOTS AND SHOES,
CVTLERY,
CEDERWA RE,
OIL CLOTHS,
dirC., &C.
To which we invite the attention of all who want
to buy cheep goods.
May I, 1868.
NEW MILLINERY GOODS !
MRS. C. L. HOLLINBER9ER
lar AS justreturned from Philadelphia and is now
1 - 11-opanicg out the. largest and most varied as
sortment of SPICING AND SUMMER MILLIN
ERY GOODS she has ever brought to Waynes
boro'. The ladies are invited to call and examine
her Roods. Residence en Church Street, East
Side. - April It). tt.
JOSEPH IDOIUGLAS,
ATTORNEY AT LAW,
Real Estate and Insurance Agent,
Office in Vtralltel'e
Waynesboro', Penna.
11 ly 8 --tf.
L.
STOVER & Wt.PLFF
WAYNESBORO', FRANKLIN COUNTY, PENNSYLVANIA; FRIDAY MORNING, Jt10,3,18138.
isOMITIC744IJ:
BBBBAMENT•
It is not the partir g hour, when those we ,fondly
love.
If are breathed to us their last farewell,and winged
their way above ;
Nor yet, when in the darbeome grave we-lay them
to their zest, -
The sharpest pang of .iarrow rends the stricken
moth lei bieast.
'Tie when we seek our lonely home, and meet no
•
Which could the darkest cloud dispel, and' every
care beguile ;
And when we meet around the board, or at the
hour of prayer,
'Tis then the heart Most feels its loss— the loved
ones are riot there.
And thus while days and months steal on, as mem
ory brings to view
The vision of departed joys, our grief is stirred a-
new • ;
Though faith may own a Father's hand, yet nature
will rebel,
And feel how hard it is to say,"
things well."
0 mournful memories of the past ! ye wear. our
lives away;
Ye haunt us in our dreams by night, and through
each weary day ;
The home which late like Eden's bower, in bloom-
ing eau y sm es,
Ye make a barren wilderness, a desert waste and
But why thus yield to fruitless grief aro they not
happier far !
The sainted ones for whom we mourn, than those
who linger here?
Our hearts should glow with grateful love to Him
whose watchful eye,
Saw dangers gathering round their path, and called
them to the sky.
Not long shill we their loss deplore ; for soon the
hour will come '
When we, with those we fondly love, shall slum
ber' in the tomb;
Then let the remnant of our days be to his service
gl en,
Who hid our id,br in the grave, lest we should fail
0; Heaven,
Not willingly the Lord afflicts, nor grieves the souls
cf men;
'Tis but to wean our souls from earth, and break
th_p_p_ower of sin ;
He saw us wandering from His paths, and sent the
chastening rod,
To turn our feet from error's way, and bring Bs
home to GJd•
Shall we eefent his wise design, and waste our days
in tears,
Ungrateful for the numerous gifts that Heaven in
int rcy spares?
Let faith and hope be cherished still, and brighter
days shall dawn,
And plants of peace shall spring anew, from seeds
or sorrow 130V91).
11EXISICIMia3CA81g - Sr.
DEATH OF A GREAT MottmoN.—A tele
gram announces the death, on the 23d inst.,
of Brigham Young's right hand man, Ileber
C. Kimball, and next to the prophet, the
chief man among the Mormons. The rank
he held was First Prophet, and he lies been
identified with this polygamous people ever
since_J_eseph Swith_started them on their
nowadie and multifarious career. Of his
early life little is known, till 1837, when lie
became a convert at Kirkland, Illinois, and
was soon after sent with Orson Hyde, since
assassinated, as missionaries to England for
the new faith. On his return, a year after
ward, be joined his fortunes with the Mor
mons in Kay county; Missouri, and with that
peculiar people bore persecutions and expul
sions from that State and from Illinois till
the pilgrimage to Salt Lake inaugurated for
the society comparative peace and decided
prosperity. At this place Kimball arrived
in the autumn of 1847, and since then has
been the head priest of the order of Melehis.
edek, with the religibus title of elder. Kim
ball, since thou, •ta his death, has been ex
pounding Mormonism, inculcating by pre
cept, and more particularly by example, the
duty' of the godly to be much married, and
has advanced in real estate and personal pow
er to a degree greater than any man except
Young. He had sixty-seven 'sealed' to him,
and to-day, as at Chevy Chase, will conic. 'as
many widows their husband to bewail.' Ile
was a man of talent for organization, of con
siderable address, and a pround demagogue,
yet of a temper Severe amine aspect forbid
di9g.
The most dangerous parts of a dwelling
during a thunder storm arc the
especially if the fire be lighted, the attic "and
the celler. It is also imprudent to sit close
by the walls, to ring the bell, or to bar the
shutters during a thunder storm.
Fire places ate dangerous, because heat,
air and soot especially when 'connected with
a stove or grate, are conductors Attics and
sellers are dangerous, because the electric
fluid often passess from the earth to the
Mont's, so that in the wtiddle story must be
the safest place, It is dangerow to lean a
gainst a wall, because the lightning, passing
down the wall, Wenn leave it and go into 11.0
body, which is a hotter c , nductor. •
,fin. N'ewisritte,rierze.
One dull day in autumn, just after noon,
a- balloon rose in the air at the foot of Cleet
Hills, on the western edge of the great cen
tral plain of England. It was inflated with
the lightest of gases which chemical skill
- could produce; it rose, with amazing veloci
ty. A mile up, and it • entered a stratum of
-cloud --more-thap-a-thousand-feetAbick: - -- - =
Emerging from this, the sun shone brightly
on the air ship; the sky overhead woe of the
clearest and deepest blue; and below lay
clondland-an immeasurable expanse of cloud,
whose surface looked as solid as that of .the
- earth, now wholly lost to view. Lofty-mount
sins and deep, dark ravines appeared below;
the peaks and sides of those cloud-mountains
nest the sun glittering like snow, but cast
ing shadows as black as it they were solid
rook.
CONSOLATION.
p-rose-the-balloon—with—tretnetulena-vt)
locity, Four miles above earth I A pigeon
was let loose; it_dropped down through the
air as if it bad been a stone. The air was
too thin to enable it to fly.. It was as if a
barque laden to the deck were to pass from
the heavy waters of the open sea into an in.
land unsaline lake; the barque would sink
at once in the thinner water. Up, up, still
higher ! The spectrum, opposed to the sun,
showed marvelously clear ; lines appeared
which are invisible in the denser atmosphere
on the earth's surface; but as the car swung
round in its upward gyrating flight,--the mo
meat the direct rays of the sun passed' off the
prism, there was no spectrum at kll. The
air was, so pure, so free from the compara
tively solid aqueous matter, that there was
no reflected light , the air was too thin to
retain or reflect any portion of the rays which
fell upon it. And what a silence profound
The heights of the sky were as still as the
deepest depth of the ocean, where, as was
cable, the - futtesniud—limatir . reit — from
year-tolair as the - dust - which -- imperoept . -
bly gathers on the furniture in a deserted
house. No sound, no life—only the bright
sunshine fulling.througb a sky which it could
not warm. Up—five miles above earth—
higher than the inaccessible summit of Chim
borazo or bewangiri, Despite the sunshine,
everything freezes. The air grows too thin
to support life, even for a few minutes. - -
Two men only are in that . adventurous bal.
loon—the one steering the airship, the oth
er watching the soientifie instruments, and
recording them with a rapidity bred of long
practice.
Suddenly, as the latter looks at his inatru•
meats, his sight grows dim; he takes a lens
to help his sight, and Can only mark, from
the falling barometer, that they are still ris
ing rapidly. A flask of brandy lies within a
foot of him ; ho tries to reach it, but his
arms refuse to obey his will, lie tries to
call his comrade, who has gone intoshe ring
above; a whisper in that deep stillness would
suffice—but no sound comes from his lips•—
he is voiceless. His head drops on his
shoulders; with an effort ho raises it— it falls
on the other shoulder; once • more, with a
resolute effort, he raises it—it hills backward,
For a moment ho sees dimly the figure of his
companion in the ring above; then sensa
tion fails him—he lies back unconscious,
Solite minutes pass—the balloon still da
b.. upward. Seven miles above earth !
i
The steersman comes down into the car; he
laves his comrade in a swoon, and feels his
own senses tailing him. He saw at once
that life or death hung upon a few moments.
The balloon was still rising rapidly ; it. must
be made to descend at once, or they were
both dead men. Ile seized, or tried to seize
the valve, in order to open it and let. out a
portion of the inflating gas. Ills hands are
purple with the intense cold—they are par
alyzed—they will not respond to his will. It
was a fearful moment. In another minute,
in their upward flight, ho would be sense
' less as his comrade, But he was a bold, self
possessed man, trained in a hundred balloon
ascents, and ready rot. every emergency.—
' He seized the valve with his teeth-;it-open
eil a little--once, twice, thrice. The balloon
began to descend.
Then the swooned marksman beard a voice
calling to him. 'Come, take an observation—
try 1' Ho heard as in a dream, but could
neither see nor move. Again he heard, in
firmer and commanding tones, 'Take an ob
servation—now then, do try,' He returned
to consciousness,and sew the steersman stand
log before him He lobked at. his iustru•
meats they must have been nearly eight
wiles up; but now—the harroweter was ris
ing rapidly—the bdloon was descending.
Brandy was used. The aeronauts revived
They had been higher above earth than mor
tal man, or any living thing, had ever been
before. But now they were safe
Such are the perils which science demands
of her votaries, and which
,they encounter
bravely and cheerfully. Such was the teem
orable balloon ascent of Messrs. Otixwell'and
Glaisber, from Wolverhampton, on the Pith
of September, 186?. A madness, thousands
• will say, a perilous absurdity, a tempting of
Provideuee, a risking of life for no adequate
purpose. One minute wore of inaction—of'
compulsory inaction —on the part of the
steersman, whose senses were failing him,
and tht, air-ship, with its intensely rarifted
gas, would have been floating untencred with
iwo corpses, in the wide realms of space.—.
What would have become of it 7 How far
it would have ascended with • its lifeless
freight; how ling it would have floated all
unseen iu the euipyielau, who shall say ?-
011^.e a . Week.
One man wagered another thatim had seen
a horse galloping st a great speed and a dog
sitting ou his tail. It pea-ms an inprobahle
feat fur a dog to oceompiish ; hut the man
was right and won the money. The dog was
sitting on his own tail. ,
'A Garman genius lill4'renen!ly invented n
Watuh whivli runs u' i year witbout
SCIENTIFIC DARING.
F4erna . l
We never for get that we have been ' chil
dren, and Who has not in those' 'misty &Neff
days cast pebbles into the water and watched'
with chitchat' glee the rippling and" meting
ofthe waves, - Then pause a moment, busy_ ,
active manhood, and look upon the etiageless
motion of the btoakand shoreless waters our
rounding the little island of Humanity, the
iFfrrcuf — of - Whiiihs perpotuall y bed - by •
graceful whirling eddies, huge, foaming, boil
ing waves, tiny bubbles and scarcely pereep
ible dimples. But•inatead of children drop
ping pebbles into the brook it , is Death out
inglife into the uneertaini dreadful tide of
theiuture. •
, A knell, dee p . toned and solemn, souads
upon the aie, mighty rushing and boiling of
the waters, and a soul passes into eternity
The man was wealthy; powerful' and distin
guished. His money had built up churches
-andlottuded-selroultoh.
received his gold, yet with it no "wood of sym
path), or compassion. Friends' were zealous
in sounding his praise abroad, and numerous
were the tributes of homage and admiration
offered -his memory. Truly, it is not won
derful that the death of this man should dis
turb the surface of the water for leagues a
round, and the &mod waves stand aloft like
monuments of earthly glory.
But death, never satisfied, selects another
Victim. This time a pauper, homeless, friend
less—a stranger of the rich man's door. And
he had given alms to one more wretcht - id - than
himself, only a cup of water, and -a tear of
sympathy, but his heart was in the deed.—
There was a sigh at his death—a_sigli_of_rt,,
lief. A rattling of clods and a little dimple
on the bosom of the waters as if a grain'of
sand had sunk beneath, and a pauper and a
rich man stood before the-eternal throne.
•
The name that had flourished proudly at
the head of the obuich subsoriptiotui and
ire, and he to whom tbe , dooro of she proud
had always opened was a stranger at the gates
of heaWen. But the rushing tide of Want.
less angel wings, a joyous burst of iousie and
a fadeless crown welcomed the pauper to the
realms of Paradise.
On earth there is a stately tomb where
rare and lovely flowers blossom, and an Un
marked lonely grave where rank weeds flour.
ish. Among the flowers that (leek the rich
man's tomb there floats a whisper, silent yet
audible to the listening, heart ; perhaps it is
the voice•of the dead. 'Take heed that ye
do not your alms before men, to be seen of
them; otherwise ye receive no regard from
your rather which is in heaven.'
FASIIIONS.-16rth fashions nest.
have - chaugt.d. Glorious too, the sky above
her, in its vesture of fadeless blue and stud
ding of blazing brilliants. The race runs mad
after new fashions, and brains are racked for
new styles. But earth wears the ones she
wore six thousand years ago. It annually
fades, and leaf 'and bloom drop from its field,
but the mysterious alchemy of the season re
touches the garnient with the same varied
and beautiful coloring. Not a leaf, or blade,
or flower has changed. The sky' has the
same Wee, and the stars tire as bright as when
they sang together on the morning of crea•
Lion.. The Mlles of the valley— they toil
'not neither do they spin—yet the creation
of art cannot vie with their beauty. How
calmly and how grandly nature marches on
to the music of the winds, the streams, the
songs of birds, and the falling of the rain,
her night journeys lit by the 'lamps on high,'
and the sunbeams of the days, glistening liar
peaceful armor of flowers and foliag e , and
the simmering waters. Ifor banners rustle
in 'the winds of gummier, and the reaper's
song, and the droaryt piping of the cricket
in the fields. We are glad that earth's fash•
ions never change.— Wisconsin • Chief. •
PAY YOUR SMALL DEBTS.— Pay your
small debts. You do not know how much
good is frequently accomplished by adopt
ing this principle. It was honest old Bell.
Franklin, we &ilievtT - hew, as a matter of ex
periment, followed up a small amount which
ho paid to a ttadesman. In a very little
while he ascertained that the money paid the
trades-man had passed from hand to hand un
til the numher of bills of newly similar a
mount settled with it reached some fifteen or
twenty. It may not be possible to do 49
Franklin did, and trace up the history of a
small amount of money in the way of debt
paying; but it may be set down as a fixed
tacit that the prompt payment of small debts
is the initiative etc)) towards paying cash for
everything. Generally speaking these small
debts are due to persons who need all the lit
tle capital they can command. To such,
they arc of immense importance; and it may
be said of the person who allows these tri
fling obligations to remain unpaid while hav
ing the means to discharg e them, that-lie is
Dot, iu the true sense of the word, an honest
man, unlesi, by express contract, a time for
viyineut has been fined, and that time not
arrived. Pay your small debts, and your
big ones too. If you would be happy and
comfortable, sleep soundly, eat heartily, and
enjoy the peace of mind which only men
with good consciences are supposed to enjoy,
pay your small dads,
A SMART FEI4LOW-- A Dutchman ID
West Penns. township, Schuylkill county,
Pa., the other day
,purehased reveal pounds
of blasting powder at one of the mills in that
neighborhood. ULon taking it home he
bumf it too coarse rot the purpose for Which
he intended it. Why it must he made finer,
of course, so he procured a coffee mill, and
emptying in the powder, proceeded to grind
it ! He had not made nanny revolutions of
the crank before there was a nois e b ear d,
and the room was tilied - with flying fragments
of coffee mill, window glass, furniture, crock
ery ware 'anti Dufehumn The ingenious ex
perimenter was tor ki.led, but lte.wa- - - badly
bu,ot.
Anecdote. of• then Grant.
During the Petersburg campaign of 1864
several privates,were. engaged in unload•
ing barrels .of 'sat horse' from a transport at .
City t i eing, and were in charge of a Lieuten
ant-Ail a New York Regiment, Who took ev
cry oecaturon to eho* his , authority To,
one of his abusive remarks, one of the pri
vates made reply whereupon the Lieutenant
rTdriii4iiihiad severe kickerkithlaiittAbf, -
who offered no resistance, but continued on
with his work. A short, thick-set man,
wearing a slouched hat, and a rather seedy
officer's cloak, who had been standing
,by for
sometime, hereupon threw off his. cloak and
coat and proceeded to _help _to -unload- the_
transport '
After the task was accomplished, thS offi
cer donned his coat and cloak and asked the
Lieutenant, in very civil terms, his name and
regibent.
*eittertaitt,_--7-the Now—Yo
Volunteers. By what authority-do you dare
ask such a question/
'Report yourself immediately to your
under arrest, by' order of General Grant for
cruelty to your men, and remember that a
bum of privates by officers is not tolerated
by the present commander of the army,' re
plied the 'thick-set' officer, lighting a cigar,
and walking slowly away..
Sojourner Truth
This old &lured woman, now living in
reoentliiWit — Mif on,lsom
sin, where she was the guest of a ‘ir. Good , .
rich, who is an out-and. out , temporaace man
and a noted hater of tobaooo. One morning
she was puffing away with her pipe in " her
mouthy when her host approached her, and.
commenced conversation with the following
interrogatory___.__._ _
'Aunt Sojourner, do you think—you-are—a
Christian ?'
Brudder Goodrich, I speck I am.
'Aunt Bojoitriiel;=-*`ryotiL believe ,
Bible ?'
'Ares, Brudder Goodrich, T believe the
Scriptures, though 1. caret road them as you
OEIO.
'Aunt Sojourner, do you know that there
is•a passage in the Scriptures which declares
that nothing unclean shall inherit the King
dom of Heaven-1'
'Yes, Budder Goodrich, I boleeve it'
'Well, Aunt Sojourner, you smoke and
you cannot enter the'Kingdom of Heaven,
because there is nothing so unclean as the
breath of a smoker. What do you say to
that 2'
Why, BrutMar Goodrich, I epook to leave
my breath behind me when I go to Heav
en I'
111=C:E1:;11:111MICZEI
OI N 0-1(-H-EAN EN- BY-LA N WO
Irishmen, having resolved to embrace the
Baptist faith, made known their intentions
to a minister of that denomination- It was
in winter, and consequently the clergyman
was at first inclined to delay baptising them
until warm weather should set in, but fear
ing the dangers of delay, and thinking that
the converts might forget all about their'good
resnlations before summer, he resolved to
baptise them at the earliest opportunity.
The following Sunday the congregation
went to the river to see the new members
baptised. While endeavoring to pull one of
them up, the Irishman slipped from hts
hands, and went under the ice. The minis
ter cooly raised his eyes_to !leaven and ex
claimed
'The Lord gave, and the Lord hath taken
away ! Blessed be the name of the Lord
Deacon, bring me another convert,'
'No, be jabbers!' said Pat, sticking hiq
head above water, and grasping the edge of
the ice. 'Pm thankful ler your prayers ;
but I'd rather go to heaven by land than by
water !
WEDDINGS A HUNDRED YEARS AGO.--
It may be of interest to keow•how they ar
ranged marriages a hundred years ago, An
old paper has the following description bear
ing upon the—subject :="llarried_m_,Lizne
1760, Mr. Doukin, a considerable farmer of
great lesson (near Rothbury,) in the cuunty
of Cumberland io Miss Shotcen, ao
agreeable young gentlewoman, of the same
place. The entertainment. on this oteasion
was very grand, there being no less. than 120
quarters of lamb, 44 quarters of veal, 20
quarters of mutton, and a greac fr quautity of
beet, 12 hams, with a suitable - nuMber of
chickens, &c., which was concluded with 8
half ankers of brandy made into punch, 12
dozen of cider, a great many gallons of wine,
and 90 bushels of malt made iuto keel% The
company consisted of 550 ladies and gentle
m e n, who immetuded with the music of 25
fidilers and pipers, and the whole las eon
ducted with the'utwost order and unanimi•
ty."
ECM:ZEES
Educating ehildieo is money lent at an
but.dred per cent.
• Good fences always pay better than law•
suits with neighbors.
Thorough culture is much bettor than two
or three mortgages on a farm.
In plowing or teamio on the road in hot
weather, always rest the horses on an emi
nence, where one minute will be worth twe
in a warm valley
A poor emaciated Irib}man having galled
a physician ia forion hope, the latter spreatis
a Loge mustard plaster, and-immediately Clap.
ped it on tbe poor felbw's leso breast; rat,
who, with a tearful eye looked down on it
said _ 4 poother. it al likes me it'a a dale of
tuustard for so little gate."
Some writer expreasen the belia that a
certain miser w;)uld take the beau,. oul of
hie own eye if he 11(1014 he could sell the tim
ber.
-
The exceedingly short,eoats warn notch,
days alight i e called .petty-coats.
*moo "Pere Ireav
, .
PLICiTifiTAWT COW. --Paddy Murphy and
his wife Bridget, -after Man, 'years of hard
labor in ditehing and, washing, had accumu
lated a sufficiency (besides supporting thein- - -
selves and , the gebilders l ) to purchase a cow,
(of course they. had pigs l)1 which they did
at the first opportunity.. Asit: was .bought
of a Protestant neighbor, Paddy stopped on
his Way home at the house of the priegt, and
- procuredii - bottlirefivater with
ereise the false faith out of her,
'lsn't she a 'foine creature ?' asked Pat to
the admiring Bridget. 'Jest her till r
fla the' shed'
To save the precious fluid frcm harm, he
took it into the house and set it up in a cup
board' until ho had 'fixed• things. Then • lie
returned.and brought the bottle•baok again,
and while Bridget was holding the rope, pro.
ceeded to pour it on her back.
But poor Paddy made s - slight mistake.
ing-in-the—samoloset-was-a--bettle of
AQUAFORTIEt, that had been - rocure - d7 for a -
far different purpose, and as it dropped upon
the biktk 'of the poor 'cow, and the 'hail' began
to smoke sod the flesh burn, she exhibited
decided appearance of restlessness.
'Pour on more, Paddy,' shouted "Bridget,
as she tugged at the ?ripe. '
I'll give her enough, now,' ryttoth Pat, and
he emptied the bottle. • •
'UT went the heels of the cow, down•went
her head, over went Bridget and half a dos.
en 'ander,' and away dashed the infuriited
.. • Intro - street, to the terror 'of all
the mothers and delight of the •dogs. •
Poor Paddy stood for a moment breathless
with astonishment, and then clapping his
hands upon his hips, looked sorrowfully, and
exclaimed :
'Be jahbors, Bridget, bat isn't the Prot.'
. _
natant strong in her—the baste !' •
'I9VERYBOPY BUT 13013:--- A very little boy
after giving everybody a good night kin
-kneeled down=at=hial oth - er''s - eide tosay hie
evening prayer. He repeated, 'Now •1. lay
me down to sleep,' &e, and continued, 'God
-blees - papa - and-mama, - and - make - them - good —
Christians ; God bless little Jstnie and make
him a good boy.' Ilia mamma added, 'God
bless everybody,'
At this sentence he was silent. Ills moth.
er repeated a second and a third time, when
be raised .his head, opened-hie-beautiful-eyes—
and said :
'Everybody but, 1341, mamma. Bo b
drowned Inv oat to-day.'
I,T
A e there not some older children who
can p a for everybody bat 'Bob r Remem
ber 1 . a the Saviour has taught ug to. pray,
'Fo ' ens oar debts as we forgive° our debt
ors.' .
A gentleman who had carefully trained up_
his servant in the way he shoUld goOlo that
when his wife tvas present he might not de
part from it, sent him with a box ticket for
a theatre to a youngady. The servant re
turoed when the gentl eman and , his wife were
at dinner. tre had of coarse licen'told that
in giving answers to certain kinds of 'pies
tions;to substitute the masculine for tho fom
inine pronoun in speaking of the lady. ,
'Did you Bee him r said the gentleman,
giving him the sue.
`Yes sir,' replied the A ervayst ife said
he'd.go, with a great deal of pleasure; and
that he'd wait for you sir'
'What was he doing ?' asked the wife care•
leanly.
Ile was putting on his bonnet,' was the
reply. '
There was 'fat in the fire' immediately
' A poor fellow protested to his girl in tl.o
hay-field that his two eyes hadn't come to
gether all night for thinking about her
'Very likely they did Dot: replied the
sweet plague of his life; 'fur I see your nose
is still between them.'
'Ramble as I dm,' said a bullying /pouter
to a meeting of the unterrified conservatives,
•f still remember that I am'a fraction of this
magnificent republic.' You are, indeed,'
zaiti a hystanderi-Aand a-tralgivi-one-sathar—'
Never enter a sick room in a state of per s
Oration, as the moment you become c;tol
your pores absorb. Do not approach conta
gious diseases with an empty stornache, nor
sit betweenthe sick and the fire, because tito
heat attracts the vapor.
'How many feet long was the snake ?' ask
ed a person of a traveler who bad just rela
ted a story of hie encounter with a boa killed
by him. '192 inches,' was the reply, isaakes.
have no feet.'
There ia Fa id to be a great similarity be.
tween a vain young lady and a confirmed
drunkard, in that neither of them can ever
get enough of the glass.
An editor, sneering at the stupidity of a
cotoutporary, says, 7 -
.The best thing.ho has got off •this week
was a dirty shirt.' • •
`Mister, I say, I don't suppose you don't
tt now of nobody what doart want to hire
body to do nothin . , don't you t'
'A viotnan isn't fit to have a babi .. wha
doesn't know how to hold it; and this- to as
true of a tongue as of a baby.
Mrs. Partington has come to the conclu
sion that there is no use trying to, cateh soft
water when it rains so hard.
The difference between a conk and ito tier
er is, o n e cooks th 3 meat and the other meets
be cook.
The store rt vreinan undresses herself,- the
atore she is supposed. to be dressed,
The . nlioiste r who bp9sted of prt - -achittg
with out unt6g don't witli to tie Lindttstooq to
tt.:ler to gtoonbicith
NUMBER 3
which to exA