. • . . , . . • ' . • ... , . . .. . . . . 1 . . -IA - , , - -` 11. / • . : :4... ‘ 1 1 .., ' • , , . ~. , • • . •'. • . - 416, t ji...._ '^' L i r a, inj .. :" ' ':,-. ,', 'i , .: : : , ~. , ' _ .... 4. .. ... -'. ' r :.... . - ..•i .) . ::: • % ~ „. - . . , :,. • -...... ,• i ~! ~,, S .. . ." • '. ' ----- . *' '' ,i . 'IV ,•,04, '-s'i' • '_ -- • ... , .. ~ .. .., ........,,,,,.,. __. _ _. ..._ . .. _. 111 „ • wr -1111 - - - , - mcr. EME XIX F;.k - •) -- n - ly , 4 TO KOURNING fiIIENDS Oh weep no longer for the dead, .Ye mourning hearts and sad: ThPY sleep now in that lowly bed,-, In Death's pare mantle clad, *heie ail we mortals here before Will fit'xd When life's rough tide shall cease to flow, . With all its cares and woes. i'heir mortal frames are now at Pest Beneath the mossy oarih; __Their souls now live among the Blest, With who' gaVe them' birth: . Then weep no more-thou mourning -hbazi; Oh ! cast that gloom away, For friends that from this earth depart Go home with God to stay. Oh ! weepAto more for loved ones dear, Who gave thy heart the joy Which kindled sutiles . when life seared drear. 'When trouble did annoy; For sure they live in Heaven now, There disc-no-ending-knows: - Then dry thy tears, and calm thy brow - ilia grief's dark day to close. ' The time will come—and, oh, how soon! When we, too, all -Mad (1 - .16; 4 Then He will give to us the boon - For which the faithful sigh: And when , Y:o2leYea those friends we loved, Who sleep now in the tomb, Nor friend from friend is there retrieved in that bright spirit home. Then weep no longer for the dead Who dwell now with their God; For though in death we se* ti?eti laid In graves beneath the sod, their souls can never, never die, Nor pain nor eorroM know; Then weep no more, nor longer eigh , , For friends in death laid low. SONG ied§ Tllll CHILDRBN. Come stand by my knee - , little children; Too weary for laughter or song; The sports of the daylight are over, And evening is creeping along; The snow-fields are white in the moonlight, The windy of the winter are chill, But under the sheltering rdoi-tree The fire shinetb ruddy and still.. • .You sit by the fire, little children, Your cheeks they are ruddy and warm But out in the cold of the winter• Is 'litany a shiOefing foirtY; There are mothers that wander for sheltef, And babes that are pining for bread; 0, thank the dear Lord, little children, From whose tender hand yon are fed. Come look in my eyes, little children, And tell mei through ell the long day, • Have you thought of the Father above Who guarded from evil your way? He heaketh the cry' of the sparrow, And careth for groat and for &milli In life and in death, little children, His lovb is the truest of all. Nbw go to your rest, little chiliirdn, And over your innocent sleep, Unseen by your vision, the angels Their watch thro' the dotkfieki o&ifl. keep, Then pray that the• Shepherd, who guideth The lambs that He loveth so well, May lead you in life's rosy morning, Beside the still waters to dwell. "The benevolent man loves mankind ; the tourteous man respects them. He who loves men will be loved by them- he who respects ben will be respected by them." "If I am treated rudely, let me examine into the cause, and if cannot discover any sort of impropriety in my owo oondact, .1 may disregard the rudeness, and consider him who displays it as no better than a brute, and why should the conduct of a brute dis turb me ?" `• "Who, by a tortuous example, has eter made men straightforward and sincere ? Who by dishonoring himself can render oth. era honorable ? Holy men do not necessari ly resemble one another; some seek solitude and retirement; others exhibit themselves, and approach the neighborhood of authority; some are exiled, others remain at home. The object of all perfect men is to be pure, ' free from stain, and this alone." When Cigar was advised by his friends to be more cautious of the security of his per son, and not walk among the people without arms or,any one to defend him, he always replied to the admonitions. "He that—lives in fear of death, every moment feels its tor tures. I will die but once." A man is not qualified for his life•duties till ho has graduated in a high school of a true woman's heart. Sweet words fly-like honeybees from the totverllips of a lovely woman, penetrate the eart,.as with the shaft of love, and then fill ite, pi:twat:ire with honey. The fotindatioic or good old age is laid in infancy. A joyous smile adds an hour to 'one's lifis a heartfelt laugh, a day; a grin; bile moment: - A small Year relieves a gmt scono*. • WAYNESBORO', FRANKLIN COUNTY, PENNSYLVANI RESIDENT'S - = - 1 [The message of President Johnson being oo lengthy for our eolumne entire, our read :re must be content with the the' following .ynopsis of the interesting docuinenq The President opens his message with an -xpression of gratitude to God for the pre :ervation of the United States. He then - refers-to-to-tb et-grief—of—the—nation-at—the • nth of his predecessor by the hand of an assassin, after be had lived to enjoy the • ighest proof of the nation's confidence by : a election to a renewed term of office, and fter he had brought the war substantially n - a - close. He refers - to - the - weight - of - cares -1 which then devolved upon him, .and hopes o merit, and receive that support and con fidence of the people by a frank statement of the principles which will guide ,the con • uct of his administration. The President :peaks of the wisdom of the framers of the onstitution in adapting it to the great pur pow__of a republic: :rnment It sue .: ins with itself ample resources for itifewn .reservation. The harassing fears that ma• y patriots have suffered of an absorption of Late governments by the general govern . ent i or that the States would break away fronr their orbits, should.be alkryed_hy the .ery greatness of our country. .The Fred • cut explains his views of the mutual re ations of the Constitution and the States, .nd says this government, of the United tatee - is a-limited government, and States with proper limitations of power are essen ial to the existence of the Constitution of •he• United States. After the closing of ostilities, the first question that presented tself for hisidecision was, whether' the terri ory within the limits of the recovered States .houblise held as conquered territory :under_ ilitary 'authority army from the dent Ho as the head of the . He opposed he policy of ,military rule, for various reds. inb The true theory is, that all pretended :ets of secession Tem from the beginning, • ull and void. If any State neglects or re uses to perform its offices, there is the more •eed that the general government should :'s ll its a .Thority,_a. • : • :son as practice e, resume t e exercises o a is functions, which, happily fur us all, brings with it a blessing to the States over Whith they are extended. He has felt it neees sarY to assert one other power of the gener al government, the power of pardoti, connect ed with the olearest recognition of the bind ing force of the laws o f the United S t a tea, and an acknowledgment of the change in regard to slavery. The next step, which the President says he has taken to restore the constitutional relations of the States has been an invitation to them to par ticipate in thp high office of amending the Constitution. !the adoption of the proposed amendment reunites us beyond all power of disruption. It will efface. the-sad memory of the past ; and bind us more than ever to mutual affection and support. Every pat riot must wish for a general amnesty at the earliest epoch consistent with the public good. For this great end there is need of concurrence of all opinions, and spirit of a mutual conciliation. The amendment to the constitution being adopted, it would remain for the States whose powers have been so long in abeyance to resume their places in the two 'branches of the national legislature, and thereby complete the work of testora tion. 'Here,' says the Preaident,'it is for you fellow-citizens of the Senate and House of Representatives, to judge each for yourselves, of the election returns and the qualifications of your own members. The President refers to the 'unwillingness, of the Chief Justice to hold a term of the United States Circuit Court in Richmond, "until Congress shall have an opportunity to:consider and act on the whole subject." He hopes that Congress will make an early provision for the resumption of all its judi cial functions. Persons charged with trea son should have fair and impartial trials.in the highest eivil tribunals of the country. The truth should be affirmed, that treason is a crime, and traitors should be punished, and the offense made infamous, and that the question shot Id be judicially settled that no State has the right of its own will to re nounce its place in the Union. In relation to the question, of extending the right of suffrage to the freedmen eman cipated by the war, •and of necessity to the free colored men in all the States of the .U -nion; the President gives emphatic utter ance in accordance with his previous and well knOwn views and policy of referring it to the Several States. He says it may prove that colored men will receive the kindliest usage from some of those on whom they have heretofore moat closely depended. But while,he has no doubt that now, after the close of the *at, it is not competent for the general government to extend the elective franchise in the several States; it is equally clear that good faith requires the security of the freedmen to their liberty and their prop erty, their right to labor and to claim the just return of their labor. Now that the monopoly of slave - labor has been removed from the States nearest the Gulf of Mexi co, the infittx of free labor will people those regions with a numerous - and — enterprising population which will vie with any in the Union i n compactness, inventive genius, wealth and industry. The tonstitutsonal freedom of commerce between the States is referred to, and the right of any State to tax the transit between States denied • The President refers to the reports of the different Secretaries. That of the Secretary of the Interior presents evidence of the suc cessful operations of the homestead act, over one million anda half of acres having been entered the past fiscal year and occupied by industrious settlers. The business of the Pension Bureau has largely increased; the nuniber of pensioners being now 85,986, re d'uiring for their annual pay over $8,000,000. The President says a grateful people will not oz$NR742 2, - hesitate to - sanotiotrany - measures -- for - thcr re= lief of solders or their wi'es who - have - ae elated to preserve our national existence. The report of the Postmaster General fire r cents an encouraging exhibit, leaving 'a sur plus of receipts over expenditures. Pro •grees has been made in restoring the postal service in the Southern States. The recom mendation in the report of the Secretary of the Navy for the enlargment of the navy yardrand - a - differentiocation-and-more "am ple grounds for the Naval Academy, is fairer ed by the President. The President also refers to the report of the Secretary of War, which states that the volunteer force has al ready been reduced by the discharge of over - 800,000 troops. It - is pro-posed-te—redut-s -the regular army to h,OOO men, so organiz ed that the ranks may be filled up' to 82, 000 men whenever required. 'The report of the Secretary of the' Tress , ury is commended, and it is urged that "it is our first duty to prepare in earnest for the ever increasing evils of an irredeemable.cur -14'" :II I' •111 • ebusiness_asn_ear 'as possible on a systeni of cash payments or short credits, the people will be prepared _to_return_to_the_standard_oLgold_and_silver- The duty is heartily recognized of diminish ing the amount of paper money in circula tion. The President neat turns to the foreign relations - of the country, which are treated delicately and succinctly. He refers to the nations with• which we are in friendly alli ance, and then reviews the conduct of Great Britain, and the attempt of the British Min ister to justify the action of'his government towards this country. While he feels bound to declare, his opin ion before Congress and the world, that jus tification cannot be sustained by the tribu , nal of nations, at the same time, he does not advise to any present attempt at redress by acts of legislation. In relation to the inva sion of some parts of America in the inter ests of monarchy, the Piesident says "he relies upon the wisdom and justice of the European powers to respect the system of non-interference, which has so long been sanctioned by time, and which by its good • : a, 'roved itself to both conti- nents." We should regard it a great ca a mity should any European power', challenge the American people to the defence of Re publicanism against foreign interference."— The correspondence between France and England will, at a proper_time, be laid_be fore Congress. The message closes with a forcible eullogy upori the greatness of our country and upon the republican model of government, as ex hibited in our institutions, and solemnly in vokes every citizen of our favored land to aid in perpetuating our own free institu tions. Don't Spare the Seed,. A young farmer had hie field nicely plow ed and harro wed, and was about to put in the seed. He first measured the field, and found how many rods there were in it. He next measured a rod, and calculated how many' plants it would take to fill it. He cal culated the seed in a half-gill, in a pint, a quart, and in a bushel.. The result was that he was satisfied that people usually sow four times the seed necessai.y. A peck was• just as good as a bushel. Now seed was very dear, and if he could savq, three-fourths of his seed, it would be worth the while. So, he sowed his peck of seed—"sowing sparingly," and at harvest-time the crop was not worth gathering. He was greatly dis appointed. Where was the mistake.? He felt sure he had calculated and measured right He then went to old Mr. Experience, a farmer of long standing and great success, and told him his troubles.' am sure I calculated right.' • 'No, you didn't calculate right.' 'Why not?' 'Did you calculate .for the poor seed . that could not germinate at any rate ?_ There is a great- deal of such in every bushel we sow. 'Why, I Inver thought•of that.' 'Did you calculate for some that would be buried too deep, or get into holes and not sprout r' 'Certainly not.' 'Did you calculate for a great deal that would lie on the top of the ground, and which the birds would pick up . before the rains fell, when it could take root ?' 'I never thought of that either.' • 'Did you calculate for what the wind would blow off, or you would throw off from your lot,?' • 'No sir.' 'Very well. You see how it is that you did not obtain a harvest. 'He that soweth sparingly shall reap also sparingly." The right application to parents, teachers, ministers and alt Christians is obvious. 'The seed of life thrown upon the ten lepers from the hand of our Savior, took root in only one heart.' , . Reader, did you ever notice immediately under the "marriage head," that the "ob ituary" notice followed, typical of the• wed ding of happiness and grief Tin this life.— Chants-and-songsousd—glee—bf merry ones to-day, will be broken by wails tomorrow, for the sod will be piled on the breast pf some we thought not iso - -near the grave.— We read who are married and wish them jay; a line below is the record of death, and we say, mournfully; peace to their *she& Sor row treads on the heels of jog; songs are hushed by the footfall of death, laughs '•are broken rudely, voices,. no matter how musi. cal, arc stilled in a moment. There are two kin& of borns'ln the world —the rioh and the poor. You'ean "get rid bl thn lattet by lending him five dollars, and of the oilier by trying to' borrow from him that canount. Try it on; it has never been haowa to tail, 0011 YR, 0 A HOSPITAL INCIDENT. The ,knife' was still, the surgeon bore The shattered arm away:;, Upon his bed, in painless sleep, • The noble hero lay: • ' Ho woke, but saw the vacant place Where limb of hie had lain, Then faintly spoke, "Oh, e me see . My strong right arm again !" "Good-bye, old arm !" the soldier said, As ho clasped the fingers cold; ' And down_hispalc_but_manly_chtteks The teardilipT - 3 gentlf rolle3 "My strong right arm, no deed of yours ' Nowgives me cause to sigh ; ,But it's 'hard to part such trusty friends Good-bye; ld ! good bye I "You've Served me well these many yew , In sunlight and in shade; e ave,eone wit Let dreams of glory fade. "You'll never more my_sabre_swing, In battle fierce and hot ; You'll never bear another flag, Or fire another shot. "I do not mourn to loose you now, For home anknative land; Oh, proud am I to give my mites For freedom pure and'grand ! Thank God ! no selfish thought is"mine While here I Weeding lie ; Bear, bear it tenderly away, Good-bye, old arm ! good-bye !" LITTLE OIL WELLS , NINNIND AND BORROWING. There are persons who go through life sinning and sorrowing—sorrowing and sin ning. No experience teaches them. -Tor rents of tears flow from their eyes. They are full of eloquent regrets. You cannot find it in your heart to condemn them, for their sorrow is so graceful and touching, Bo full of penitence and self-condemnation.— ; u ea ~ • -breaks - , ---- repenteuue, warn- ings, aro all in vain. Where they did wrong once, they do wrong again. Such persons imagine they are Christians. But why they should imagine so, it is difficult to conceive. The s had better consult the New Teatam: and see what Christ says on this point. • . Tllli STRONGHOLD. To believe that God is Love, and to hold fast to that as a man holds on to a rock with a desperate grip when. the salt surf and the driving waves sweep over him and take the breath away—that, indeed, is the one fight of the Christian life, compared with which all else is easy. It is easy to be generous and tolerant and benevlent, when we are sure of the heart of God and when the lit tle love of this life and its unreturned affec tions are more than made up. to us by the certainty that our Father's love is ours.— But when we lose sight of that, though but for a moment, the heart sours, and men seem no longer worth the loving; and wrongs ate magnified, and injuries cannot be fogiven, and life itself drags on, a mere death in life. A man may doubt anything and everything, and still be blessed, provided he only holds fast to thai conviction. Let all drift from him like sea weed on life's ocean. So long as be reposes on the eternal faithfulness of God's Love, his spirit, at least, cannot drift. "IT li3 IINISIIED!" The way in which' our Redeemer contem plated this life was altogether a peculiar one. lie looked Upon it, not as a place for rest or pleasure, but simply, solely, as a place of duty. He was here to do his fath er's will, not his own, and therefore he was enabled to say at last "The work thou gay est me to do" "is finished." We are ever taking leave of something that will not come back again. We let go with 'a pang, portion after portion of our ex istence. However dreary we may have felt life to be here, yet when that hour comes— the winding up of all things, the last grand rush of darkness on our spirits, the hour of that awful, sudden wrench from all we have ever known or loved, the long farewell to sun, moon, stars, and light—what will then he finished? Will it be the butterfly exist ence of pleasure—the mere life of sense, a life of uninterrupted sin and selfish grad& action, or will it be the work God gave us to do? Cool Procedure The Peoria (III.) Demdcrat, says, not many ,weeks ago, a man in good business and well known in the lower part of the city, became suspicious that the "partner of his joys, and the mother of. his children," was not so regardful of her nuptial' obliga tion as could be wished, and he straitway set himself to ferret out the case. Notic. ing that loving glances were exchanged be. tween a boarder of the male persuasion and his partner aforesaid, be instituted a system of "picket" that brought matters to a crisis, for he soon had the satisfaction of proving his suspicion to have substantial foundation, by finding the boarder and the partner in the ocoupaticy of the same couch. - Like a sensible man• as he was ao3 is, he said nothing, but only thought the mote.— Quietly he sold out his business and proper ty, and, without indulging in any animad versions oo the conduct of the wife, he yes terday informed her that he had concluded that his company had become irksome to her, and that could better solace her drooping spirit, and should leave them to gether, and then took his departure for parts unknown. This is about the quietest dis solution of partnership that we have ever been called upon to chronicle. A young loan being joked on the alow growth of his beard, gave as an excuse .that 'heavy bodies more ?slowly.' n i Leiigion.. Y MORNING, DECEMBER t§, 1865. A marked •answer to prayer occurred very few years ago in Essex Co.,_Hass.— A pious in - other died in very afflicting cir cumstances. Her husband was a- common drunkard, and she" left a feeble babe to the care of her little-daughter, who was ten; and when that poor mother lay dying, she could only pray that Jane might be spared to live, and that God would early bring her to him . Soon after there was a great revival in the neighboring city, and a kind woman who came• in to aid and encourage the child, Colin, Jane much of the remarks made. Jane de sired very much to go, but it was impossible. The friendly neighbor prayed with her, brought her books and tractsland after some time Jane timidly told' her friend that she believed that God had given her his peace, am happy,' said. Jane; 'but, Oh, if mother could have lived till now.' Her mother's minister earner often to see her, .and eventu ally •proposed her uniting_ with_the_ehurch._ -llirbelleved-it-would-be-a-great-gacvd-to-the friendless little girl to gain the love of God's people. But Jane confessed with hot tears - that - she - had - n - o - suitable — clothes and was very much afraid that her father would not let her have the horse and chaise to go. But _the minister told her to keep up a good heart, and Jane prayed daily that the way might be opened to, her. During this week she re ceived some neat garments, but on Saturday her father sold the old chaise, their only ve hicle, for rum. The child was sorely grisv ad, but trusted she might at least be allowed to have the horse. On Sunday morning her father was quite sober, and Jane tremblingly preferred her request. Her father denied her with a dread ful oath, and so Jane gave up, and taking the baby went to her own chamber, The church was four Miles away, and she could not walk. She could not keep the tears back, but she had already learned the com fort of prayer; so she kneeled down, and told all her trouble to God; asking that she might be suffered to go if it was His will, and if not, that she might be.able patiently to bear the trial. ' Ile little prayer oalmed her ahe_amt down to her Bible, w called her. She hurried down: "Do you think you can ride Bess with mother's saddle r said the father in a husky embarrassed voice. good you are.' 'Well, said he, if you Want to go, why be off.' So little Jane rode to church, and was re ceived in membership, and •she went home with a light heart, for the Christian people whom she met promised to pray for her and her father. Things began to brighten in that poor home now; the father was kinder and at last reformed; and a long time after, when he too had 'found Jesus,' he dated his change and conversion from the hour he heard his child praying that Sabbath morn ing,—Messenger. A farmer who had bought a calf from a butcher desired him to drive it to his farm and plane it in his stable, which he accord ingly did. Now it happened that very day that a man with a grinding organ and dune ing bear, passing by that way, began their antics in front of the farm. After amusing the farmer's family for some -time, the organ man entered the farm-house, and asked the farmer if he could give him a night's lodg ing. The farmer replied that he could give the man lodging, but he was at a loss where to put the bear. After musing a little he determined to bring the calf inside the house for that night. and place the boar in the sta• ble, which was done. Now, the butcher, expecting the calf would remain in til morn ing, and the farmer and this guest were in the night awakened by a fearful yelling from the out-building. Both got up, and taking a lantern, entered the stable, when the farm er found, to his surprise, the butcher of whom he had bought the calf in the grasp of the bear, which was hugging him tremen dously, for , he could not bite, being muzzled. The farmer instantly understood the state of the case, and briefly mentioned the circum stance to the owner of Bruin •who to punish the butcher for his intended theft, called out to the bear. "Hug him, Tommy;" which the bear did in real earnest, the -butcher roaring most hideously the whole time. Af ter they thought he had suffered enough, they set him the, and the butcher slunk off glad to escape with his life r while the farm er and his guest returned to their beds. The State of Georgia sacrificed more than half her• wealth in the vain effort to disslve the Union. When the war on the Govern ment was begun, the lands, houses, slaves, merchandise, stocks and other possessions of the people of Georgia aggregated a value of over eight hundred and forty millions of dol• lars, while now the entire property of the State is not worth quite four hundred and nineteen millions of dollars. The •heaviest single item of loss to. the Georgians was in the emancipation of their four hundred and eightysiz thousand slaves, valued at about one hundred and ninety-four and a-half mil lions of dollars. • A negro baby was barn in Petersburg, Va., the other day, with the exact impres sion of a two cent U. S. revenue stamp on his forehead.—Litehjield Enquirer. The mother must have been chased •by a government tax collector.—New Haven Reg ister. Reckon he caught her. TUOtaitlig 0016- ride. Why is a tooth drawn like a thing for gotten? It is out of the head. When is wino like a pig's tooth 1 When 'tis in a hogs.heati. wer to a Chtla'tvPrayer. An Awkward Mistake. Ofit.oo Per Tear An-Illinois sucker took a great dislike 'to a fooliih young Virginian Whci was a - fellow- Tassenger,with him on one of the Mississip- pi steamboats. • I was on the boat (said Dea con Doolittle,) and saw the whole affair The Viiginiatt was Continually combing his hair, brushing his clothes, or dusting his boots=to all which movements the sucker took exceptions , as being what he termed ": eetle-too-flarneee—by-half." Ile-fins • drew up his chair beside the Virginian and. began: , "Whar might you be from, stranger?" "I am from Virginia; sir," politely answer ed the_gent._ _ "From old Virginny, I s'pose?" says • the sucker. "Yes, sir, old Virginia," was the reply. "You are pooty high up in the pictures thar I suppose?" "I don't know what you mean by that re mark, sir." ' "Oh, nuthin," nye the sucker, "but that InicaTe -- d - esp! - rate rialt-Fand-htt-been_-biau,sht up right nice," "If the inform way," says the gent patronizingly, smoothing down his hair, "I belong to oue of the first families." "Oh, in course," answered' the sucker.— "Well, stranger, bein' as you belong to the fust, I'll just give you two of the fattest shoats in all Illinois of you'll 'only find me a feller that belongs to one of the second Vir ginny families." "You want to quarrel with me, sir," says the Virginian. "No, stranger, not an atom," answered the Sucker, 'but I never seed one of the second family, and.rd gin suthin to git a sight at one of 'em. I know you are one of the fust, cause you look just like Jolla Ran dolph." This mollified the Virginian; the hint of a resemblance to the statesman was flattering to his feelings, and he accordingly acknowl edged relationship to the orator. "He, you know, descended from the login gal, Pocahontas." "You are right, sir," answered the oth- irit; and ctis tranger;=-sai - tt — th.sueker, "do you know Char is anuther queer thing alias puzzle me, and it's this : I never seed a Vir ginian that didn't claim to be either descend ed from an login, John Randolph, or a •nig uw , We need not add that the sucker rolled off his chair—suddenly ! They were separa ted until the sucker got off at a landing near his home. As he stepped ashore, he caught sight of the Virginian on the upper deck, and hailed him at once with— "I say, old Virginny, remember—two fat shoats for the lust feller,you find belonging to the second Virginia family !" A Dutch Advertisement, Rundaway or shtolen, or ahtraid—mine pig plaok horse, about fourteen or fifteen hands and six inches high. He ish got four plaok legs, two pefore and is plack all over his body except . his face, and dat is plack too. He drots and runs and gantors and paces valks hish feet and legs all go one after another. He ish got two ears upon his head, poth alike, only one ish' placker as tour. He ish two eyes, one ish put .out and toder 'is upon the side of his head, and yen you go on de plind side he vont see you. Yen he eats much his pelly is pig and he ish get a long dale' wat hangs down pehint, but I cut him short todder day mid now it ish not as long as it was pefore.— He is shod around, put his behind shoes com'd off, and now he ish only got shoes pe fore. He holts, ish scairt he shumps about like nothing-in to worlt. He will ride mit a saddle, or a chase or a cart, or go by him self, mitout noboby but a pag on his, back, wit a little poy on it. lie ish not very old uud ven he valka or runs, his head comes first and his tail shtays- pehint; only ven he turns round and gits mad, until then his tail comes first. Whoever shall pring him paek shalt pay five tollars reward and ask no question; and if he pring pack do tief 23 stole• him, ho shall pay twenty-five tollars reward. BANT JACOB VANDERLITZEMIKBOUTYNE Sound as young Timber Once on a time, not long ago, a good.heart man and his long-tongued, style talking wife attended a social party. Almost every three minutes his wife would check her hus band thus: 'Now, William, don't talk so loud!' 'Como, William, don't lean back in the chair that way!' 'Now, William. don't get noisy over there! "Say, Willitim, let the girls alone and sit by me!' ,At last forbearance ceased to be a virtue and the husband, who was really pitied by all in the room, arose and said— 'l beg pardon of the company; but as my wife insists on being boss all the time it is right she should have these!' And he deliberately took off his pants, handed them to her, and sat down in his boots and drawers. The campany was astonished; the woman burstinto tears; the happy couple soon wont home; but neither of them wore pants, How the affair was settled we cannot tell, but the last time we saw William, he had the pants on. We are inclined to think she will not boss in company in a hurry.—liolm es County Farmer 'Now. gentleman,' said Sheridan to his guests, as the ladies• left the room, 'let us understand each other. Are we to drink like men or beasts ?' • Somewhat indignant, the guests replied: 'like men, of wurso ' 'Then we are gidne; to get jolly drunk for the brutes never. th ink mom than _tin want.' NUMBER 20 Old Virginia. ou_in an
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