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ALL MD 18 BERTH% Oh, tell me not this earth is all A scene of foul decay, That o'er its joys a funeral pall . , Is spread in dark array, Oh, tell me not there is no love, No beauty here below, , For God, from higher courts above, Rath blessed all things below. There's beauty in each tiny flower That blooms along the way, Or decks the cool and *shady bower In rich and bright 'array ! There's beauty in each forest tree That shades the passer-by, There's music in the tiny bee That hums his busy lay. There's beauty in the mountain rill That flows along the glade, • There's beauty in the rugged hill And in the forest shade; There's beauty in the summer any, There's beauty in the nieht That comes to us with gentle lay - And happy visions bright. There's beauty in the summer cloud And in the April showers, For these our All-Wise Father gives To gladden leaf and flower ! - Oh, yes, all earth is beautiful With every varied scene, For wheresoe'er the eye may gaze —The-Hand-of-God-is-seen-I MUMMA OF FREEDOM, Loud-sOurra - the - comp:WW runfWf Through every land, o'er every sea ! Take for mankind, ye rising . nations, World-wide, our country's Jubilee! Now heaven's angelic choirs are singing Celestial Peace renewed on earth, Good will to twin and joy upspriqging, In Freedom's universal birth. Fling to the pit each hateful fetter, From power the proud oppressor hurled, Onr States by freedom reunited, , In God may stand against the world. Sound fourth the conquering trump of Freedom O'er every sea, throw gh every land God-quickened, let the rising nations Regenerate in Justice stand. • From age to age rehearse the story . Of earth's sublimest Jubilee!. And sound abroad Jehovah's glory, Who spe!ikb the enslaved millions free. k f 4 THE LADY PREACHER All over the beautiful earth lies the rich paraphernalia of summer. Her flower gems lie scattered in profusion, her countless'min. atrels are abroad, her winds laden with per fume, cool our fevered brows, and we cease to dream of Paradise. • For a while, man forgets his cares and rev els like a child. amid nature's bounties, the temptations to sin are weakened, for the mind is occupied with the simple pleasures of the genial season; and sorrow sits less heavily upon the mourner's heart, for hope flourish es anew the promise of earth. How marvelously has God wrought the gret change sinee Winter sat throned upon the hills, and ruled the valleys and the floods. He called the south wind from the tropio isles, laid His hand upon the tempestuous sea, and bade it sleep beneath serene skies, breathed into dormant seeds' the breath of life, and they came forth into the sunshine, arid his work stands before us, "very good," challenging every noble, loving and grateful sentiment of our hearts. Thera is a voice coming to us from all this majesty and beauty, a voice pleading with us to keep ourselves worthy the dwelling-place so richly dowered. All evil passions are •at variance with the spirit of nature, which is love, unfaltering, alli,ervading, pure without spot or blemish. How are pride and selfish ness rebuked, by the lesson of the sunlight and the rain I Where is there room for en vy, all alike are the children of Him who made this fair temple, and draped it with everchanging skies and clouds Who dare hate his brother, participant in that love that bath no bound to its giving ? When we remember the untold centuries that have rolled away since Spring time and harvest, Summer and Winter first commen ced their round, when we think upon the countless generations of men that have read these mysticleave's in God's greift volume,' when we realize how short the amplests of life, we, take to our hearts as their divinest hopes and richest treasure, the great lesson of immortality. All the wonder and beauty around us,.is only the repetition of years that no man can number, witnessed by eyes, count. less as the stars, that wake no more at the coming of the Spring. Their too brief days were ended, and then others filled their pla ces on earth, hut where are the "gone be forer_ And for ourselves, we feel that time glides on with resistless progress, and bears us with it to the silent bourne, but we may nor stop I t there in our belief. Our faith in Ch ri st is unshaken by the terrors of the grave and that points us to a world where this i com plete mortality shall inherit ' immortal i t y.— . The restless yearning that earth never .atis. , hies the sorrows that time never heal- the rietaxdayr NeevirmPstrbea- I Noixtral in Wocilittom mac% IlLeLigiblxi.. WAINESBORO',.FRANKLIN COUNTY, PENNSYLVANIA, FRIDAY MORNING, JITLY 21,186 thirst fat knowledge never quenched at earth ly-foun tai asalltion - some where in God's universe, some time in the future that is as certain as the present hour Therefore we take bold of eternal life with unfaltering trust. . And 0, let the weary heart take up anew its burden and bear it on, nerved by the thought that it shall one 4.y lay down forev er. 0, disappointed heart, the cloud shall be lifted off thee when thou shalt reach the other side of death's dark river. 0, repent ant heart, thy sins shall be forgiven and for gotten when the veil parts to usher thee where no temptation ever cometh. Let us live, that God shall walk with us on the earth, that His presence may be a re ality, that his voice may find echo from the depths of our spirits; at last let us close our eyes on all conviction that the soul can know not death. God grant to each of us a por tion of faith as shall carry us triumphaoly through the portal of death; and then may His mercy and love be our inheritance for ever and ever. Proverbs. Heaven is not to be had by men's' - barely wishing for it. He who gets, loth Much; but he' who keeps, doth More. He who will not be comiseled, cannot be helped. He who converses with nobody, knows no. thing. H is the wise man, who is the- honest man. , He who lives in hopes dies a fool, • Home is borne, be it ever so homely. He is a rich man, who hath God for his friend. He is the best seholar,,who bath learned to live well, ' Hear reason, or she will make herself be heard. He who bath no wisdom, hath no worth. He who resolves to amend, bath God on his side. He-whertath - durre - 111 gain. • Have many acquaintances, and but few friends He who will avenge every affront means not to live long. He who bath no ill fortune. is tired out with good. Illesied Bless - sd is who does not mike a cent, for he will have no income tax to pay. 2. Blessed is the bald-headed man for his wife cannot pull his hair. 3. Blessed is the homely man, for the girls shall not molest him; yea, thrice blessed is he, for when he shall ask a lady to dance, she will answer him, saying, "I am engaged for the next seer,'' " 4. Blessed is he who polisheth his boots and not his morals, who maketh the outside of his head to shine, but neglecteth the in side thereof, for all the girls shall rise up at his coming and call him beautiful. 5. Blessed is the man who bath no brains, but brass in abundance, for he shall be the ladies' favorite. Selab. 6. Blessed is the man who giveth many and costly presents to young ladies, for great shall be his reward—in a born. Blessed is the man who is' always flat broke, for no man saith unto him, lend me Eve dollars. 8. Blessed is the Digger Indian, for unto him no man presenteth a subscription pa per. THE FATE Or SAM HOUSTEN.—The Pitts burg Commercial of Saturday says:—A cor respondent at Cleveland signing himself "A Texan Refugee," writes us an answsr to our query, made a few days ago, concerning the fate of Gen. Sam Housten. Ile said, "Gov ernor Houston is dead, having deceased 'ear ly in the year 1863, about two years after OA inauguration of the rebellion. And I may add, died of a-broken heart." Our cor respondent corroborates the statements that have appeared in the press of Gen. Houston's resistance to the last of the schemes •of the secessionists. He says, a short time before the death of Gen. H,, "a party or mob pro ceeded to his house for the purpose of hang. ing him, because of his opposition to seces sion, and especially on account of his Union sentiments, promulgated a short time previ ously, in a speech delivered by him' at Hons. ton. A few of' his neighbors banded togeth er, and succeeded in staying the intentions of themob, representing to them that he was in bed and. not likely to survive long. A few days after he passed away, a martyr to his beloved country." How TRUE.--A young person once men tioned to Dr. Franklin his surprise that the possession 'of great riches should ever be at tended with undue solicitude; and instanced a merchant who in possession of abundatit wealth igas as busy and much more anxious than the most assiduous clerk in his—count ing house. The Doctor, in reply, took an ap ple from the fruit basket, and presented it to a child in the room, who could scarcely grasp it in his hand. He then gave it .a second, which filled the other_hand, and choosing a third, remarkable for its beauty, he presen ted that. also. The child, after many inef feet:nil—attempts to the three apples, dropped the last onWearpet, and burst in to, tears "See," said the philosopher, "here is a man with more riches in the world than he can enjoy." A gentleman at a public .table, who bad exercised his jaws for some fifteen minutes upon a small morsel of steak, turned ,to a neighbor and said: 'What a pity to kill this animal; 'Why?' r esponded . his friend. 'Because,' replied the other, 'it would have made such an excellent working creature? — The growth of this boat' Christians, sometimes called Campbleites, is unparallel- ed in the annals of religious history. They had' their origin, in this country, only about forty year's ago; but' they number now, in the United States alone, over six hundred thou 'sand communicants—while they are growing rapidly in Great Britain, the Canadas, the West Indies, and Australia. As a denomination, they have always been devoted to the interest of education and the diffusion of general intelligence. They have now wider their control thirteen first class Colleges, and in addition a large number of Academies and higher Seminaries of learn ing. They now publish a Quarterly, four Wekly and eleven Monthly papers., besides innumerable tracts, pamphlets and miscel laneous matter. Their statistics show that they have 4,200 preachers in the field in this country, many of. whom are men of high intellectual culture and talent. Their great strength lies in the "Valley of the Mississippi," the State of Kentucky alone having 130,000 persons belonging to that Church. They claim to have no creed but the Bi ble,—and to call Bible things by Bible names. They contend_that. they occupy the ground held by the. primitive christians, and teach that ull christians should unite upon the Word of God. However much in error their doctrinal tenets' may be regarded by their religious friends, the factcannot bp disguised that during the past 30 or 40 years they have . made more rapid progress than any other de nomination in the United States.—Exchange paper. Costly apparatus and splendid' cabinets have no magical powers to wake scholars.— In alt circumstances; as-a man is under God the ma.ker-of his-fortune, so is he the maker of his own mind. The creator has eo eensti• tuted the human iritellect-thaa_grom ony Its own -. Fma,tmdyby its own action it will most certainly and necessarily grow.— Every man must therefore in an important sense educate himself. His book and teach er but helps; the work is his. A man is not educated until he has the ability to summon, as an act of emergency, all his men tal powers in vigorous exercise to affect his proposed object. It is not the man that has seen most, or heard most, who can do this; such a one is in danger of being borne down, like a beast of burden, by an overloaded mass of other . men's thoughts. .Nor is it the man who can boast merely of native vigor and ca pacity; the greatest of all the warriors that went to the siege of Troy, bad not the pre eminence because nature had given him strength, and he carried the largest bow, but because self-discipline had taught him how to bend it. o it a- once, wl Years ago, a blunt Vermont farmer, not altogether versed in the public literature of fashionable cookery, and having by. hard knocks'nequired considerable property, took it into his head to visit Boston. and started accordingly in his best one-horse gig. Stop ping near noon at one of the "smart" villa ges on the route, he put_up,for a time and ordered dinner. When asked what he pre ferred, he nletrtioned beef steak, and the land lord inquired whether he would have it rare or well done. This was a stumper for our friend, but thinking there might be some thing "glorious" in the "uncertainty," he as sumed the air of one who "knew the bricks" and ordered it rare. All things in readiness, our hero took a seat at the table, and com menced a vigorous onslaught on the smoking viands plac'ed before him. At the first cut of the steak, blood -very profusely followed the knife, at which he Started back in Aston ishment, and rang the bell furiously. Di rectly a waitor answered the summons, and inquired what he wished. "I want the beef cooked," said the guest. "But you ordered it rare," replied the wai ter. "I know it," said the guest, assuming to understand the matter fully, "but it is not quite right; you may take it out and rare it over again ! " Brsitor LYNCH, OF CHARLESTON.—A correspondent of the Cincinnati Catholic Tel egraph says: The papers state that Bishop Lynch, of Charleston. has,applied for pardon, and lie may get it for his political offences from President Johnson; but for his absolution from his higher crime of prostituting his sa cred office and dignity, and attempting to drag down the church to the infamous pur poses of the Southern slave breeders, he will have to appeal to a higher Judge, incorrup tible, who tempers justice with mercy. Per haps the Bishop may learn a salutary leison from the eloquent ruins of his cathedral.— God Grant it; if He forgives hina.the Cath olics of America surely can. ANECDOTE OF PRESIDENT LINCOLN.-L- President Lincoln, having been applied to pardon a repentant slave-trader who had been sentenced to prison, answered the ap licant: "My friend, if this, wan had been guilty of the worst murder that can be con cervid of, I might perhaps have pardoned him. You know the weakness of my nature, always open, to the appeals of repentance, or of grief, and with such a touching letter and such recommendtitions I could not resist.— But any man who would go to Africa and snatch from a mother, her children, • to sell them into interminable bondage, merely for the sake of pecuniary gain, shall never re ceive pardon from me." "Father." Bain ttle Teddy, "how eau the sea run, when it's all tide ?" "It sets still, child." "How can it set when •it has no bottorno?" Teddy was led out of door' 'by the hair of the head. The Disciples of Christ How Soholars are. Made Rare Pat $ • A physician was sitting in • his office, up town; when an Irishman came in and addres sed him• thus: "Camp pull a tooth for me, Doctber Sure, it is the divil's own brother . I've got in my mouth, _that's been kapin me awake these three nights entirely "I think I can; sit down and let me look at it." The tooth proved to be a.large double one and very sore. The instruments were brought out to commence operations, but Pat showed evident signs of nervousness. "Och! sure, you will be murdering me quite, Docther." "To be 'sure I shall hurt you," said -the Doctor in a jocular way. "If I don't I won't charge you anything for pulling it." Pat said not a word and the Doctor went to work. The tooth was firmly set to the jaw, and stuck like a Democrat to the Con stitution; but the Doctor tugged and pulled and fairly lifted his patient from his chair in the struggle, who bore it like a martyr, •'making no• sign." At last the offending molar laid upon the •table. "There," said the Doctor, "didn't I hurt you enough?" "Not a bit, sir," said Par, "and sure you are not the man to be going back from your own word ?" The Doctor 'saw it' and Pat saved his stamps. Exposing the Cotton A feminine rebel, a illenaphian and a wid ow, who shall go by the name of Mrs. C— was recently going up the river' on one of the Cairo packets, when she got into an — el- - cited discussion with Colonel S on the subject of - the war. It to.)lc place in the ladies' cabin and soon brought around them a crowd of eager listeners. She poured whole broadsides into the colonel who receiv ed - them - with his characteristic good - humor. The closing_scene-of-the—disoussion-ia-given , e io orniaat as follow, "You may over run the whole South," said Mrs. o—, "you may burn our hous es, lay waste our plantations, maim or kill the last man; but then, sir, we will armour boys with squirrel rifles and shot guns, and put one behind every stump"in the land.— What will you do then 7" "0," replied the colonel, "in that case we will be compelled to call out and arm enough of your niggers to surround all the stumps." "But when you have accomplished all that, we, the women of the South, will bare our breasts to the Federal bayonets." "You dare not do that, madam." "Why not, sir?" "For the simple reason, madam, it is un. lawful. Your Confederate Congress has made it criminal for you to expose your cotton to the Yankee forces." The lady retired suddenly, while the lis teneislaughed uproariously. Pat and his Pig. A rollicking Hibernian of ,the light divi sion in the Peninsula, was trudging along the road with a pig tied to a string behind him, when, as bad luck would have it, he was overtaken by Gen: Cantord. The salu• tion, as may be supposed, was not the most cordial. "Where did you steal that pig, you plun dering rascal ?" . "What pig, general?" exclaimed Paddy, turning around with the most innocent sur prise. "Why, that pig you have . -behind you, you villain," "Well, then, I protest, general," rejoined , Paddy, nothing abashed, and turning round to his four-tooted companion, as if he had never seen him before, "it is scandalous to think what a wicked world we liVe, in, and how ready folks arc to lake away an honest boy'scharacter. some blackguard wanting to get me into trouble, has tied that baste to my cartouch box." The general smiled and rode on. . A number of young rascals in Troy col lected some roses and bought a quantity of Scotch snuff. The snuff was 'delicately in serted among the rose leaves, so as to be in visible. When a lady came along, one of the party would step forward and say, very gallantly: "Won't you have a rose F" The flower was usually accepted, and the most natural impulse in the world was for the re cipient to apply it to the nose, to inhale its delicate perfume. The result 'may be imag ined. Away would go the rose, and the la dy would hasten along, either blushing amid the sneeze, or wondering where the police were. . Lord with no very large pOrtion of wit or wisdom, had a very exalted opinion of his own powers. When once in a large company, and expatiating about himself, he made the following pointed remarks: "When I happen to say a foolish thing, I always burst out a laughingl I" envy you your happiness, my lord, then," said Charles Townsend, "for you muse cer tainly. live the merriest life of any 'man in England." • letterfrorn Edwin Booth, in reply to a "fraternal and consoling letter tram a com mitte of Masons in New York, has been pub lished. Mr. Booth says: It has pleased God to,afflict my family as none other was'ever afflicted. ‘!The nature, mannex and extent of the crime which has been laid at our door have crushed me to the very earth. My detests. tion and abhorrence of the act, in all its at tributes, are inexpressible; my grief is unut terable, and where it not for the sympathy of friends suoh as you, would be intolera ble." , • What &male should a shoemaker kick out of his establishment ? 31iss s-Stamps --11r.--Phineas Drake, who was at work in another locality, was taken from a woodpile and hurled into a plowed field forty rods &- taut, and has hot spoken a word since, though alive when this is written. A three year old child of IL G. Weeden was in her parents' _houge and killed, while' the house was das ed-to,fr Han injury results from the fault of the soldier, he is not entitled to a pension. A widow's pension ceases if she marries. Tho minor children, under sixteen years of age; if any, are entitled from the day of the marriage. No one while in the receipt of pay or e moluments 58 an officer or•soldier of the ar my can be placed on the pension list, The pension will not commenze until the party is discharged. A minor disabled in 'the service does not. lose his right to a pension, although he may subsequently have been discharged because of his being a minor. • • A seaman was taken prisoner and attemp ted to escape, for which he was severely pun ished by the enemy, and disabled. It is held that the disability was contracted while in '‘the line of his duty," and for which be is entitled to a pension, The pension of a minor child ceases on ar riving at the of sixteen . years. Quin was at a small diner party. There was a delicious pudding of which the master of the house begged him to partake. A gen tleman had just before helped himself to an immense piece of it. _ "Pray," said Quin, looking first at the gen tleman's plate and then at the dish, uvehich is the pudding?" The gold monated.piatol at the Vhioago San itary Fair, "to be awarded to the beat gener al,"has been voted to Gen.• Sheridan, WONDERFUL TORNADO. • The LaCrosse (Wis.) Republican, of the Ist inst., contains the details of the terrible tornado at Viroqua and vicinity, in that State. It Was a most frightful calamity,— About 2 o'clock on the afternoon of the 29th ult., two heavy eloude.approached each oth er from the North and South, and but a short distance West of Viroqua, which contains some 1,200 inhabitants. When the two forces came in contact they whistled off at a tangent in an easterly direction, and passed through the Very, heart of the village, carry ing. death and destruction. in their path. In a moment about fifty buildings were demol ished and scattered to the winds. Seventeen persons were killed and about one hundred men, women and children injured. „ The tornado continued in its course for several miles east of Viroqua. It destroyed everything in its course. The total destruc tion of property is estimated at $200,000. One house, a large white'one, was taken so high in the air that it was seen above the tree tops, dashed to the „ground, lifted again higher than before, whirled around and dash ed roof down upon the earth a few rods from its foundation, and all but a few. timbers borne away. The wife of the owner was in the house all the time, was spilled out in. the second tumble and but slightly hurt, while an infant who was clinging fast in her arms escaped without a scratch or bruise! In an other ease, a house was raised from the floor ing-and carried away, leaving the inmates sitting on the floor in perfect safety. A cor respondent of the World furnishes the fol lowing additional incidents e-and--b-olute uff~n~#iyiog piec es by ta-storm. A' young lady named Lydia Gillett, aged twenty years, ran up from the cellar, where the family had gathered for safety, to close a door which was blown open. Just as she reached the top of the cellar' stairs, the house was caught up, whirled in the air, dashed to the earth, and the fragments car ried rods away. Miss Gillett was found in a field some distance from the cellar, so bad ly injured that she died in a few moments. The rest of he family escaped unhurt, with the ezooptiVn of slight bruises, while their home had gone forever. In a school-house were twenty-four chil dren and a young lady teacher. The build ing was lilted high into the air, dashed upon the ground some distance from its founda tion; again lifted about forty feet and dash ed bottom up.to the ground and the frag ments swept away. Eight children were killed, and every other occupant badly injur ed, A lumber wagon standing in front of Judge Terhune's barn was lifted over the large barn and set down behind it uninjured! A fence board was carried several rods and driven through the wall of Judge Terhune's house, reaching into the parlor five feet; like a long peg to hang harness on, while a picket from a fence, in an opposite direction, was driven through the wall, into another room of the same house. The Southern part of the village, for . a strip near eighty rods in width, was swept away. Where stood handsome white houses, neat barns'and out houses, nothing now re mains but ruins. Trees were torn up by the roots and thrown • rods away. Roofs, side. floors, doors, chimneys, underpinning and furniture of houses were pounded together, broken into fragments and fairly sown over the land. Log chains were twisted apart, beds, carpets, chairs, harness, calves, sheep, dogs, cats and poultry, dead,'or writhing on points of branches which had themselves been broken. Important Decision. The following decisions have been render ed at the Pension Bureair . A. soldier discharged on amount of a dis ease under which he was laboring when he entered the service, is not entitled to a pen sion. Actual rank in the line regulates the 'a mount of pension, and not brevet rank.— This rule applies to aid-de-camps, adjutants, and others. 913400 .1 1, !,e.r. Year A Very Apt Scholar. . A Baltimore• correspondent of Harper's Magazine tells the• following story, showing how a pupil became too smart for his precep tor: A rather pretentious appearing person en.' tered a store, and laying a small portfolio on the counter, stated to the merchant that he was giving instructions in the art of detec ting counterfeit money by an original and , practical method of his own. He had in structed several tenets in leading banks ' all of whom testified to the superiority of his • method, "Well," said Mr. B—, the proprietor, "what is your peculiar method ,?" Said the stranger., "I show you good money and bad money together; show and ,explain the difference is the engraving; show you the difference in the lathe work and the fine lines of the vig nette," remarked that he was a practical en graver himself, and in forty minutes'. time he could instruct any 'person of the least ob servation in rules that Would be infhllable in detecting the finest executed counterfeit ev er issued. "Well, what is your terms ?" said Mr. B—, looking intently at the man, as Dm' somewhat incredulous as to the profundity of his wisdom on the subject. "My terms are five dollars for full instrud lions ' lie replied. ".1: can't give it," responded_ "I would probably forget it all- in a week." "Well," replied the instructor, with an eye to business, "I have spent some time talking with you and if you are - anxious to learn, will charge you.but throe dollars." ' !!Well, I will go three dollars on it," said B—, "and run the risk of all the good it will do me." So they proceeded to business at once.— The stranger opened his port-folio, produced a_quantity of banknotes, good-and-bad the fine lin - cs — ciflhe lathe work were duly com pared, expatiated upon• and explained. tie found a ready scholar in who in half an hour's time was an adept in picking out the good from .the bad ones. The lesson ended, B • - expressed him self well satisfied, and stepping around to his cash drawer fumbled over some bills for a moment with which to yap for his tuition, remarking to the stranger that he had noth ing less than a ten, and asking him if ho • could give him seven dollars, which the ' stranger promptly did, B- giving him in return a well-executed counterfeit ten dol lar note, which' was lying in his• drawer. • The stranger pocketed the bogus "ten," expressed his thanks, and Ie f t—leaving B his tuition and seven dollars in good money. • I like to see men crowding about the bar room on Monday morning before sunrise; it shims their anxiety to get.at their week's employment in good season. I like to see women send their butter to market in a dirty cloth; it shows economy, and saves washing.' I like too see men pay their debts on the back of an execution; it saves trouble here after. I like to see young women stop a whole congregation from going out of church, while they stand chatting in the aisle; it shows they mind their owa business. I like to see la4ies and gentlemen kiting Countenance and shelter to drinking .sots, merely because they wear fine clothes; shows they think snore of dress than princi ple. A SCENE IN CHURC/I.—Meddliog with others sometimes brings us into serapes ; and thereby one of the elders of the church made 'bad worse.' A young fellOw entered the church, and took bis scat with his hat on.— An elder, noticing it, stepped up, and re-. quested him to take it off., His request not being complied with; he came to the young man the second time, and, seeing he still hes itated, the elder gently lifted it off, when to his (the elder's) chagrin, out rolled a quart of shellbarks on the floor, making more noise than was consistent with the rules of the church. 'Man,' quietly responded the young man, 'see what you have done !' Somebody.has found out a new way of ta king pictures,' by which they can be taken better in the night than in the day time.— A photographer has missed several from the frames that hang by his door, and doesn't approve of the new plan, At the Chicago fair, one day, after the wives of Generals Grant and Sherman had been in troduced to the people, the crowd called for the wife Gen.Hooker,but the old bachelor had no, wife to, introduce. He hoped to have one when next he visited Chicago. Wairer says he is acquainted with several young ladies who would not kiss you in pri vate for the world, and whom he has often seen wait in the ,public street for a bus. An impertinent follow wishes to know if yon ever sat down to tea where skim milk was on the table, without being asked, "Do you take cream 1" Why is a dog with a sore tail like a loco motive ? Because he has got a tender be hind. Josh Billingti says that "if a man is going to inak3, a boluses of.serving, the Lord, be likes' talkie, him do it when be Meanies out onions,' is Well as when be hollers glory bal. ' Why should the ram be regarded the prin. eipal animal of this diary 1 . Because he is the butter, Why is a lovely young lady like a hinge? Because she's something to a , dure. NUMBER 5
Significant historical Pennsylvania newspapers