Syr vitir. Elea*.
VOLUME XVI.
3PCO3OTICC,II..Za.
BTAB•PLAB OF THE EBEL
BY GEORGE P. MORRIS.
"The Union now end • forever—osi and insepeFa
,• Wailnilt. "United we stand— "
divined we fall."—Pacivgna.
' This is the price of Liberty,
"Eternal vigilance end care
Sustain the star flag.of the free,
Our Union represented there.
No tr Lox' should, with recreant hand.
Berneve it from its place on high—
The symbol of our native land
Which might the world in arms defy I
Oh ye ' who cherish, Liberty,
And every hope that on her waits,l
Preserve for yo r posterity
The perfect Union of the States,
The Stars that fluttered to the breeze,
Where clustered there at Freedom's
Stern Fate foreshadowed all of these,
•
lf,sundered, would in ruin fall !
Then read, ye sons of Liberty,
(and mark the homely proverb well.)
Word's that denote your destiny'
I:Shout,/ States this solemn truth repel.
In -- Union there is s trearb and peace,
Iu seperation endless wars--
Guard, bravely guard, till time shall cease,
Our country's fiee-bgn Flag of stars.
MATRIMONY.
The following argument for matrimony was writ
ten in tl e olden times is .
Like to a ring without a finger,
' Or like a bell without a ringer,
Or like a horse that's never ridden,
Or like a it a,ds and no guest bidden,
Or like a well Is about a bucket,
Or hke u Pose and none to pluck it;
Just such as those
May she be said,
That time cloth
And dies a maid,.
The ring if worn
The finger decketh ;
The bell if rung
Good music maketh.
The horse (loth ease
If he be,ridden ;
o ne bucket draws
The water for thee;
The rose when plucks
Is then most worthy ;
So is the maiden
In. mine eyes.
Who loves and marries
Ere :the dies.
IVllSl4c3oxJza.,eLittr3r.
A LITTLE HERO.
Grace Greenwood writes the fbllowing lit
tle story—and a true ono it is—for the Lit
tle Pilgrim, a child's paper. She gets the
facts from an incident described in the Hart
ford Daily Times, some years ago, as having
happened in Cult's Meadows:
In the true city of Hartford, Conn., lives
the hero of the true history I am about to
relate—but no longer " little, as the 'perilous
adventure, which made him for the time fa
mous in his native town, happened several
years ago. -
Our hero was then:a bright, active boy, of
14 years—the son of a mechanic. In the
suvare winter of 18—, the father worked in
a 14ctory, about -a mile and a half from his
home 4 and every day the boy carried him his
d niter, across a wide piece of meadow land.
One keen, frosty day he found the snow
on this meadow nearly two feet deep, arid
no tracks of the little footpath remaining.—
Yet he ran on as fast as possible, plunging
through drifts,.keeping himself warm by the
most vigorous exercise, and brave, cheerful
thought.
When in the.tuidst of the .meadow, full
half a mile from any hoUse, he suddenly felt
himself going down, down down ! He hal
, fallen into the Well! He sunk down into the
dark, icy water, but arose immediately to
the surface. There he grasped hold of a
, plank which had fallen into the well es he
went doiirn. One end of this rested on the
bottom of the well, while the other rose a•
bout four feet above the surface of the wat
er.
The poor lad shouted for help till he was
hoarse and almost - speechless, but all in vain,
as it was imp( saible for him to make himself
heard from such a depth, and at such a dis
tance from any house. So at last he con
cluded that if he was to be saved at all, he
- must save himself, and beganat once, as he
was getting extremely cold in t e water. So
be went to work.
First, he drew hims9 - lf up the. -
braced himself at the top of it — Fuld --- th - i - frah
of the well, which was built of brick and
had become quite smooth. Then he pulled
off his coat, and taking out his pocket knife
cut off his boots that he might work to
greater ndvantage. Then, with his feet a
g mat one side of the well, and his shoul
der against the other, he worked his way up
by the mos fearful exertion, about half dis
tance to the top. Bore he was 'obliged to
pause, take breath, and gather up his ener
gies for the work yet before him Far hard
er was it than all be had gone through, for
the side of the well being from that point
completely covered with „ice he must cut,
with his knife, grasping places for his fing
ers, slowly and carefully, all the way up.
it • was almost a hopeless attempt, . but ,
it
was all thatteeould do And here Ike lifted
lipids heart to-Gad; mid prayed fervently for
help, fearing that he could never get •out.
Doubtless the lord heard his voice cal.
ling from the, deeps, and' pitied him. ~He
.wrmight no-miracle to-savehim, but breath
ed into his • heart a yet larger measure of
calumeound _Courage, strengtheninghtirt 'to
woric,for his own deliverance.
After thia, 'the little herp.eut his :.ray
waging% by inch. =His weestookings froze
to ;the ioit; 'and .Itept his 'feet from .slipping,
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but, his' shirt was,quite torn from his shoul
ders ere he reached the top.' lie did ' reaqh
it at last—crawled into the snow, and lay
down a moment •to rest, panting out his
breath in little'White clouds on the clear fros
ty air.
He had been two hours and a half in the
well!
Ens clothes soon froze to his body; but► he
no longer suffered with the cold, as full of
thankfullness, he ran to the factory,
Where his" good father was waiting and won
dering.
The poor man was , obliged to go without
his dinner that day, but you may be sure he
cared little about that, while listening with
tears in his eyes to the thrilling story his
son had to relate to him.
He must have been very proud of the boy
that day, as he wrapped him in his 'warm
overcoat, and took him home to "mother."
And how that mother must have wept and
smiled over the lad, and kissed" him, and
thanked God for him. •
MARYLAND QUOTA OF TIM WAR TAX.-
The Baltimore Clipper says t--It is with ex,
treme pleasure we publish the following com
munication from the Hon. Mr. Chase,Secre
tary of the Treasury, to Mr. R% Fowlr, the
very able Treasurer of our State, by which
it will heeseert.that,±:-Mars4and, is, the first.
State to make All easrpayment - olkefluota
of the Direct Tax." .
TREASURY DEPARTMENT; I
June 25, 1862.
Hon. R. Fowler, Treasurer
of the State of Maryland :
Sir :—Your letter of the 18th inst., au
thorizing my draft, as Secretary of the Trea
surry, on you, as Treasurer of the State of
Maryland, for the full amount of Direet Tax
opportioued to that State by the Act of Con
gress of August 5, 1861, less the fifteen per
centum allowed for assumption and payment
of_the_State,_w_ks duly received.
I have made the proper draft, which will
be presented for paymeut as proposed by
you. •
Permit me to express my sincere gratifica
tion that Maryland has been the first State
to make full cash payment of her quota of
the Direct' ax.
The payment of Pennsylvania, which pre
ceded that of Maryland but a few days, was
by credit for advances earlier made; as well
as partly by cash.
The other States are promptly following ;
and all, I am sure, partake the satisfaction 1
cannot but express on seeing Maryland now,
like Maryland in the days of the Old Line,
coming forward, with purse and ,sword, to
the defence and support of the American U
nion. With great respect,
S. P. CHASE.
Secretary of the Treasury.
Lady Fowell Buxton, in oue of her letters,
gives an account of a dinner at her husband's
house, at which Baron Rothschild, the mil
lionaire, was present. He sat at Lady Bus.-
'ton's right hand; and his -whole discourse
was of money and money-making, and of the
way in which he had trained his sous to pre
serve and expand his colossal fortune. La
dy Buxton expressed the hope that he did
not allow them to forget that never ending
life so soon to begin, for which preparations
must be made. "Oh," replied he, "I-could
nut allow them to think of such a thing. It
would divert their minds from business. It
would be fatal to their success. To get and
keep a fortune is a very difficult thing, and
requires all ones time and thoughts."
The remark, though a melancholy proof
of an utterly worldly mind, yet contained a
great truth. It turned on the same point
with that declaration of Christ, "Ye cannot
serve God and mammon." Baron Roths
child had made up•his mind to serve 1112141-
mon. He did not attempt or pretend to
serve God at the same time. He served
mammon with his whole heart. He devo
ted his children too, on his altar,. and edu
cated them to his service.
But it came to pass that this rich man
died and. then, of all his wealth and splendor
and luxury, how much remained to him ?
Not one farthing! Who would wish to
spend a whole life of care and toil, and throw
away an eternity of happiness, for that which
must be lost so 10011 and so utterly 1
"I counsel thee," says Christ, "buy of me
gold tried in the fire, that thou._ ruayest be
rich."
The Chicago Times in noticing the visit
of the Baltimore excursionists to Camp Chase
w ere some eigt - thous - aatl - linbel - prisuuers
are Confined, says :
A thrilling incident also occured there,
being a meeting of a father—oae of the Bal.
tinforeans—Mr. Shutze, with his son, now a
prisoner of war at the camp, who was taken
at the fall of Donelson. They had parted
two years previously, at which time young
Shutze had left his home for Alabama, to
obtain employment. As he states, he wan
there impressed into the Confederate service
soon after the breaking out of the war, and
taken prisoner, as above mentioned. Shortly
after his arrival attain? Douglas 'he inform
td his father by letter of his situation, and a
regular norrespondeoce'has mimic been main
tained between theM.'„ ',Mr. - :Slintze is a hoot
and shoe manifacturer in Baltimore, and firm
in his devotion' to 'the l7nidn. He Ties ' no'
doubt of his son's loyalty,.and hire' for:nnine
time been using active. exertions In _ - ribtain
his ;release. ,The meeft, though not Unex
pected, was yet a
,vem affecting, nue, both
bursting into tears as they fo'fials , embraced
each tither. - ,
lank, and
A QUESTION FOB THE'TIMES.--411 it the
' duty_ofAte Ooyeratnent to:modify_ its policy
for the rpirlioeil obnoiliiiting •tixo_ traitors?
'Did the American Congress -17711. modify
its polrey to conciliate lonia? • --
wa233.11.7' 14eltirlE11±300pcor g niid.
WAYNESBORO', FRANKLIN COUNTY, PENNSYLVANIA, FRIDAY MORNING, JULY. 11 ; 1812.
Baron Rothschild
An Afiboting Scene.
Gen. Kosseau,—Of Kentucky, is one of
those Border, State loyalists whose loyalty
Means something. lie organized the first
regiment of loyal Kentuckian; and has since
proved his devotion to the Union in every
way. 'ITU our Rebel Sympathisers of the
north, ho does not even prize slavery above
national unity and honor, for we find that in
a speech at a dinner in Louisville on the
16fh ult. he exposed . what he calls "this in
sane cry of abolitionism as a pretext for
breaking up the Government; and gave testi
mony, the more forcible as it can* from a
southern man, that, however, kindly the de
cessionate are treated by our soldiers and
commanders, c'the negro is in the way, in
spite of all that can be done or said. Stand
ing before the) eye of the secessionist, says
Gen. Roaseau, "the negro hides all the bles
sings of our Government, throwing a black
shadow on the sun itself." Ile adds:
"If it had been any other species of prop
erty that stood in the way, the army, ,pro
yoked as it has been, would willingly have
seen its quick destruction. But din negro
they did not wish to / interfere 'withlu any
way._ Yet, with- all-its- conversativekuriAlyn,
n
'abolitionism' as a cause for breaking up the
Government "
In the same speech he says: •
"I have warned our southern friends of
the danger of continuing it mach longer;
and I tell you to-night, if this war continues
a year from this day, there will not be a slave
on this continent. The -great revolution will
take care of itself—the dead will bury the
dead—and those who are causing all the
'bloodshed and desolation around us, under
the false pretence that we desire to free their
negroes, will, if they persist,' one day find
slavery snuffed out as you would snuff out a
candle. Slavery is not worth our govern-
It is not worth bur libert It
is not worth all the precious b ood now ein:r ,
poured out for freedom. It is not worth
the free navigation of' the Mississippi river.
No, we must still have our government—if
not as it now is, with slavery in it, still we
must - have our government. We cannot be
slaves to Jeff Davis & Co. We must and will
be free. We must have the free navigation
of the Mississippi river; and slavery gets
in the way of any of these rights, why sla
very must get out of the way. That would
be the last resort, and I should be sorry to
have recourse to it ; but lam for the gov
ernment of our fathers against all things and
everybody.
Breath.
It is the easiest thing in the world to have
at all times a sweet, inoffensive breath; aye
sweet as .theThreath of a new=born - babe. In
the first place keep a clean mouth, which is
easily done by having all decay removed,
and the use of a good tooth-brush with a lit
tle soap and water, night and morning.—
Common toilet soap will do, but eastile is
preferable, as it is lupe strongly alkaline,
and contains less impurities. The teeth are
decayed and filled with tartar, and discolored
by the acids and vitiated secretions of the
stomach and mouth, which may be perfectly
counteracted and cleanted away by soap,
which is alkaline. If the breath is made of
fensive only by the teeth, an observance .of
these directions will thoroughly and surely
eradicate it.
It may be . neeessary to go elsewhere for
the cause, where it is very frequently found,
in the stomach. If so, it may be readily
corrected by proper dieting. If the breath
is bad from this cause, the tongue will be
found coated, the stomach oppressed, with
perhaps °•heartburn" and acid eructations.
Correct it by leaving off all indigestible
character of d.et---ent off one half the quan
tity put into the stomach at each meal, and,
our word tbr it, the remedy will succeed most
admirably, and you wilt be bleu sad with
one of Nature's blessings, a natural breath.
- Sad Incidents.
[From The Easton.(Pa.) Express, 16th.]
Two .sisters wlto had barely escaped the
flood with their lives, at Penna Haven, one
having been pulled out of the water by the
hair, came to•Manneheltunk yesterday after
noon, on their way home. The father had
just arrived in town to see if his daughters
were safe, and - finding that they were, 'he
stetted flir home. short time
.afterhe
was gone, the daughters got into a boat to
cross the river, and while they were sitting.
- in-the-beat-a-young—ntaultunto-eros
with them, when the boat upset, and both of
the girls were drowned.. Their bodi3s were
recovered in a few hours after, and by the"
time the father had reached home he receiv
ed the news of the death of his daUghters.
A woman was found drowned a short dis
tance from Mauch Chunk. She had a child
in her arms, also dead. The child was re
ceiving nourishment front ittl parent when
overtaken by the, water, as its position upon
the mother's breast when found proved.—
The complete history-of the.recent disastrous
freshet will never be written.. Many a heart
has been .wrung by it, and many homes made
desolate by its ravages..
PUNISHMENT FOR. GUERILLAS.--Tho gen
eral orders 'respecting
,guerillas Ore very
pointed. We 'quote some of them.
Secretary Stanton says--" Let them swing.'
Gen. Dix advises , to "shoot them °trate
spot." , • -
Gen. Schofield - sayi—"Execute them im
mediately."
Gen. Blunt says—" Give them no quarter."
Gen. 'Loss : gays—"Shoot
_themn. ,when
found." ' .
• Gen.- Halleek's orders tire-Istit.. thern be
tried, immediately by drunabead mutt ."and
pitni:hed ;•death."
•
•
Whenfond affection's ipolf 'bath cosi,
Its *fob arotit►d bead.
How truly aad it is atiast •
To be 'obliged to part. .
How sad to mita the smother'daigh,
• To sic the starting tear,-
That dimethe 't'end'er, !Ming ey '
c l,
Of those we hold tow' dear.
What, whettiVi - e --- thesrt in hien ship knits,
Oawbe more keenly felt
Than" wild° rude stroke of Fate which splits
- The link, Time ne'er can melt I
Alas ! of every earthly. woe
Felt by- the human heart,
Methinks it is the greatest blow
From those we love to part.
Puzzling a Yankee.
Americans are an inquisitive ;people, yet
from the very necessity which this engend
ers, there is no person that better under
stands the art of parrying and baffling inquis
itiveness in another than the Yankee. We
were quite amused recently by an account
given by . a city friend of a aolloqUy which
came off in a country village through which
he was traveling, between himself and one
of the "natives," who manifesto.' au itching
curiosity to - pry into his affairs.
"How do you do?" exclaimed - the latter,
- alth - tml - -for a few
monsiitn* - - - latiwbotel. -.--I %e - ekon I've - seen:
you 'fore now?" •
"0 yes," was the answer, "no doubt; I
have been here often in my life."
" 'Spose you're going to—" (expecting
the name of the - place to be applied.)
"Just so—l go there regularly once a
year."
"And you've come from—"
"Exactly. Sir, you are exactly right; that
is my place of residence."
"Really, now, dew tell; I 'sposc you're a
lawyer, or maybe a trader, or perhaps some
other perfeshun or calling."
"Yes, I have always pursued some one of
thdse professions."
•
"Yes, I am at.this time engaged in travel
•"I see by your trunk that you are from
Bdston. Any thing stirring in Boston ?"
- "Yes, men, women; horses and carriages,
and a furious northeaster."
"You've had,a monstrous sight of rain in
Boston—did au awful sight of damage, I sup,
peso?"
"Yes, it wet all the bulletin" and made
the streets damp—very damp, indeed." •
"Didn't old Fannil Hall git a soaking?"
"No they hauled it on to the Common;
under the Liberty Tree," -
"You are a circus chap, Iguess; you a.te
a kinder foolin. Pray, Mister, if it is a civil
question, what might your name Le ?"
"It might be Smith ot A Brown;*but it i s
_not,_by a long chalk. ITtePet is; Sir, I
never had a name. When fwas born, my
mother was so busy that she forgot to name
me, and mon after I was swapped away by
mistake for another boy, and am now just
applying to the Legislature for a name.—
When I get it I will send you my card.—
Goqd morning, Sir."
And so saying, the speaker jumped into
the carriage - and - drove off, leaving the Paul
Pry of the place scratching his head in be
wilderment.
Eloquent and True.
Extract, from a speech made in congress,
( pn tie sth inst. by Hon. Edward 31'Pherson
of Pennsylvania in reply to. Vallandigham
and Voorhees.
"Least of all will the attacks of these gentle
men impair the positioq of the President,
who,' beginning his administration in the
diirkest and most troublous period of our
history, has Bbercome prejudices, won respect
and to cured admiration, at home and abroad,
by unfaltering and single minded devotion to
duty. The cares of his great office have not
confused him; its patronage has not corrupt
ed him; its brilliancy has not dazzled him.
Self poised he has steadily controlled the
current of eveilts- 7 -with fortitude bearing
reverses, with manliness meeting all. Pure
in heart, n o one can assail his integrity, and
the people love him. Great in- mind, he
grasps*, in all its Imes, the momentous pres
ent, and the people admire him. Brave in
spirit, he advances to'great deeds, and the
people 'applaud him. Rarely are - so great
and fitting qualities combined. They who
seek to undermine and overthrow him, will
themselves. be crushed. Bather let them
cease their needless warfare, become useful
instead of mischievous, patriotic instead of
factious."
A MonNits° WALIL—Those who have
never ried the exercise of a morning walk
(we n an e crtii morning walk taken*
about t time Aurora is shaking the dew
drops from her golden looks,) are entirely
strangers to its rejuvenating, (there now,
we did not intend to use that big word,)
and exhilarating influences. Ye who love
to slumber and doze.away the precious hove
of morning, u.)! and catch an inspiration of
the balmy Air, laden with the fragrance and
freshness of the verdant meads and pleasant
vela, and harmonious With the first song of
I ,,the lark, the„robin, or the blackbird, while
now . and , then the famous. vrkisticr.-r-,"boh
white" performs a brief interlude to the
,general' chorns; and: 'r est nssur-d, reader; if
' yon.ari3 alady, it will have A better effect 'in
beautifying your compleXtion than the 'use
of half-a dozen bottles of the ".fitalm,,of. a
Thousand rhiwers,'.',And 'you will ever after
ward. discard the application of rouge or. Abr.
mine. A-merry; walk in June, why tbereis
something• peetioad, in the very ideai but
there is something much' more poetie in the
reality:, Try. It .
Make the best of everything. If you have
the jau n dice, etuit :hat you have a golden
prospect; before you.
1:=I=1
UNION AND DIBISNION.:—TDO , vote ,
year in the fifteen Southern States, On" Se
eassion or Cuitin, stood n follows; ,- •
•' ' ;S union:
Carolina. , 4709 46,672
Virginia 100,536. -45,101 `
Tennessee 67.630 64,156
Texas ' 12,172 41,000
.4"*nsas 15,826 27,412,
South Carolina , •27 26,000 :
Georgia . 32,506 _57,500
Alabama 27,600 46,300
Mississippi 25,000 38,000
Louisiana 17,076 20,448
Florida - • 4;200 6,700 "
Delaware 12,400 3,600
Kentucky 83,147 • 14,005 .
Missouri. • 101,300 ' 61,500
Maryland -. 87,400. 5,600'
GOD'S PATIENOE.—Theie is no iabre
wondrous subject than the patience of God.
Think of the lapse of ages during which that
patience has lasted—six thousand years !
Think of the multitudes who have been the
subjects of it—millions on millions, in suc
cessive climes and centuries I 'Think of the
sins which have been _ all that time trying
and wearying that patience,—their number,
their, heinousness, their aggravation. The
world's history is a consecutive history of-in
iquity—a lengthend provocation of the Al
mighty forbearance. The Church, like a
feeble ark, tossed on a mighty ocean , of un
belief; and yet the world, With its cumber
erS, still spared! The cry of its sinful mil
lions is at this moment entering "the ears
of' the God of' &bead', &and yet.for all this,
His hand of mercy is stretched out still.
LITTLE BLOSSOMS FOR HEA.VEIN.—Oth
ers besides the angels are leaving the cares
Of earth for the rest and blessedness of. Heav
en; those who have-scarcely loOked beyond
the rose tinted boundary of infancy, whose
eyes have never been via with tears of sor
row and regret, whose hearts have never
:we4-led--with—disappeitittnew Ti •
sows who have lingered lovingly for a few
brief years on the threshold of Time, and of
how we think, even while worshipping
Choir beauty and innocence, are passjng a. ; -
wayl
George F. Train is rejip_onding the fol
lowing: "What a howl would have passed
through England had the Northern army
been guilty of the most bratsl atrocities per
petrated by_the Rebels at Manassas and — elweT. -
where ! Using the skulls off onr brave officers
for spittoons; boiling of their flesh to get
their ribs for castanets, and sending tokens
made from the bones of our braie men to the
fiends in shape of women, who seem to have
acted like so many tigresses during this ter
rible civil war.hltity God have mercy on
their saute.
'REMEDY FOR BOlLS.—lnstead of the use
of the lancet for the suppression or boils at
an early stage, Dr. Spooner, of Boston, recom
mends an etherial solution of iodine • (thirty
grains of iodine to one ounce Of either,) ap
plied with a brush, morning and evening.
The same application gives relief iu chilr
blains, and in erysipelas, or it may be varied
by a solution of nitrate of sliver. It is easy
to -try.
TOE LEAVES of many peach trees have
'commenced curling•this season, and the fruit
of all such has dropped off. It said that
by digging around the roots of the trees,
quantities of worms may be found penetra
ting the bark and seriously damaging the
trees. These worms may be destroyed with
lye,&e., and the loaves, after the destruction
of the worm is accomplished, will straghten
and the young fruit will remain.
OHIO PAYS lIER DIREOT NATIONAL TAX.
—The Treasurer of the States of Ohio de
posited with E. T. Carion, United States
depositary in Cincinnati, last week, the sum
of $380,000, the amount of the national di
rect tax assessed on Ohio.
- -
The farmer is a conqueror who wins victor
ies upon important fields—at the point of
the ploughshear
Conscience, be it ever so little n worm
while we live, grows suddenly to a serpent
on the death bed.
A BELFAST BOY. about three years old, a
few days ago, went through the businehs
streets, calling on the merchants, telling each
that he was his son, and asking for a copper.
The merchants denied the imputation, but
shelled out.
There is a time of just judgment coming,
when we shall not have the power to do what
we wish because. we did it not when it could
have been done.
A sermon for the times is contained in
the text: "Let him , that bath no sword sell
his garment and lruy one."
False virthe sail 'that hides from us
our sins- .
True hope is not deceitful. The just,
sooner or later.;triutaph over. the unjust..
To 1 forbid Christians -to'read the Bible:is
tolifterdiet light to the - Children of light -
What is etta, ie *limn; but to be , faithful
u that which ia,l3aat; is to be great,
hen a' Mali of himself, he is empty
of God, aud.teest mke charge of his own-sol
ha 'are the portion of the heart on earth;
rain° 3rip be the language of heaven.
The wore earnestly you exhort your con
ihlehtto eeeritey, the mireLlikely bele to-telt
11on 4riikers ate drunk;
633,793 486,554
r i llreadek
• s"Y‘' '
,
r
To stop pOtataes L 411 3 u Irv-6U '
, A good sermon is 111:o.ti kts4.. leAtittes,
tiirci'beacti iitid 6116 '
. • :
Why are wornendilie beets ? Aiieeatiselhe
younger they Are: the. sweeter.
Poetry did 'eCinsuirtiitioki . ciiii tke
tering of dbleases.' ; , .i,
q.
If you • -
irant't6 he suited . 3) to a goi
Oil if' you want ra be non - s ui ted
". .
Whickia, the , best way to :!ceep F a iwoOati's
love return it.
"Na fun is honest not
~•-fnntfor
both parties."
r'' man, out •.w9st is .so great, miser; that
he, uses , only onel eye at u. thge-to Have ..the
other.
• The reward ,of villains . Various. o eof
them are hung, others crop - d bran
—others 'erected i 0 office.
"'Wadsworth tendons a:studious., friend a.
gaiast "growing double,"., but the girls think
it the best thing a nice young nian ean.de.
Why are :birds solight Z. Because - their
bones are hollow and filled, with tdr imitead
of marrow..
An old maid being at a loss.for a pineush=
ion, made use , of, an onion. On 'the follnw
ing morning she found that all 'the needles
had teaks iu theitieyes.
A preacher in a funeral
'good
on a lady,
after summing up hit. good (Puitities,
added "that she always her husband
his hat without muttering." • -
•
An amazon out west, in deibribing her
runti4ay husband, says: -"Daniel May 'be
known by a soar on the nose where I scratch
ed him.' „ .
an exact knowledge of the haniati race has
been miserably cheated in the choice of a
wife. ,
A bad wife is a shackle on her husband'ii
feet, a burden on his shoulder, a palsy,ito
his hands, smoke to his eyes, vinegar to, his
teeth, a thorn to his side„ a dagger to• hie
heart.
Vi - he armiard astonm_hy_p tb_olie .
compliments; but one of their admired Wr
iters, speaking of a lady's black eyes, sass
"they were in morning for the mnrders they
had 'committed. "'
•
There is a Man out West who ninied 'so
often, that whenevei a coveFed.wagottAoutes
near his house, his chickens . ail tusiiidt: up
and fall On their - hacks, and crositheie
rendf WIT carried to the nett:Ask-Wag
place
An Itlinuis editor sent to another who had
refused to exchange with him a paper' hear
ing the inscription; "Exchange or , go, to
h-1!" The editor thus replied; "I wilt do
neither; for I don't want your paper in this
world nor your company in the next.*
Blessed is the man or woman that can ; let
drop all the burs and thistles , iustead'of
picking them up and fastening them , ori flue
next passenger. Would we only let the
vexing and malicimui sayings, die ; how fast
the lacerated and scandal ridden world Would
get healed and tranquilized.—Pr. iifitptbjg.
don.
•
42Qaakeress,, jealous of bar Insband,
watched his movements one morning and ac
tually discovered the truant kissing and hUg
ging the servant girl. Broadbrith was tiot
long in discovering' the face of his Wif4;2tis
she peeped through the half open' door, and
rising with all the coolness of a•general.t has
addressed her: "Betsy, thee had better quit
peeping, or.thee will cause a disturbance in
the family!"
A preacher, whose test led hillk to speak
of the prophet Jonah, among other thing:►
said: "I am of the opinion that "Jonah. Was a
cleenly old man, neither smoking or chewing
from the fact that the fish retained him so
long in his stauiach, if the fish hadswallow.
ed the house where" we are Worshipinhig,
he would.no doubt have vomited himself to
death." '
Goon.-'--"Wboinade you?" askod a teach
or ofa lubber of a boy, who had lately joined
her class.
! "I don'•t know," sain ho.
ri ion t you now _ • ou oug ,e
ashamed of yourself, a,boy fourteen years
old! Why, there is little I)ioky:Pultew—he
is only threexte can tell, Idare say.
Come hero, Diacy?" who made. you.",
"God," said the infant
" There," said the teaeher.triumphantly,
"I knew he would remember it "
"Weil be oughter," ictid the stupid, boy,
'ain't !nag little while since he was made."
A worthy old farmer residing inflhe vi
cinity of Lace MahOpeok, was worried almost
'ta death by boarders: They fottod faidt
with his; table, and said he bad bodkin to
est.
"Darn it," said old Isaac one day,'-litittit . a
foss yob ' aie making: can eat :anythilag - . 4
'Taw pia, eat a •otove 6 !said one; orthe
'Arena ken ask
"Be yan 'a lute.," said 84 guest f-"r • •
- The het weeteas; ate' inns - citight - ea
nicety route,. beitaseAre ierVing; .
...Os,
°omit* to watooOttiitta.t,t-,,gcw* apse Of
Socitok stiff tine sin 'crania the
late tOokililta'attarbigitlia =e stay:. ,
et-y.344,X kee oak owe; , (intotharbgat and
And apsfallkine,Pl4o4 - 14tynn„. iriliSPO , •
domed if I hauketipt,erAt.7,77<,,...„....,:,.••
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