Village record. (Waynesboro', Pa.) 1863-1871, May 30, 1862, Image 1

Below is the OCR text representation for this newspapers page. It is also available as plain text as well as XML.

"I love them that 'seek me; and those that seek
me find early shall me.".—PROVICR)2B 8: 17.
Come while the blossoms of thy years are b lightest,
Thou youthful Wanderer in a flowery maze—
Come, while the reritleseheart h bounding lightest,
And joy's poor sunbeams tremble in th • ways;
Come, while sweet thought, like summer buds un-
Waken rich feelings in thyi'esreless breast, •
W ' • .3r_hand-ttre-ephenteral-vrreatiFire—ho .
Come, and secure interminable rest.
Soon will the freshness of thy days be over,
And thy free buoyancy of soul be flown—
Pleasure will fold her wings—and friend and lover
Will to the enibmees t•f the worms have gone
Those who now love thee; will have passed tbrever,
Their looks of kindness will be lust tol thee—
Thoult need a halm to heal thy spirits fever,
As thy sick heart broods over years to be
Come, while the morning of thy life is eowing
Ere the dim phantoms thou art chasing die—
Ere the gay spell which earsh is round thee throw
Fades like the crimson from a sunset sky. •
Life is but a shadow, save a promise given,
That tights the future with a fad. less - tay—
Come—touch the seethe—win a hope jn heaven;
Come, turn thy spirit from this worlirawsy.
Then-AC-the shadow-of-this--brief eibilericer
Deem airy nothing to thine ardent soul—
And shining brightly in the forward dietetic*,
W ill, of ttty patient race, appear the gout.
Home of the weary —Where, in peace reposing,
The spirit lingers in unclouded bliss,
Though o!er the dust the curtained grave is eyes
• ing,
Who would not, early, choose a lot like this!
Childhood's days now pass before me,
Forum and scenes of long ago,.
Like a dream they hover o'er me.
Calm and bright as evenings glow;
Days that knew no shade of sorrow,
When my young heart, pure and free,
In the cottage by the sea.
Fancy sees the rose trees twining
Round the old and rustic door,
And, below„ the white Beach shining,
Wfere I vnthered shells of yore
Heard my,thothers gentle warning,
As she took me on her knee;
And I feel again life's morning,
In the euttage ay the sea.
What though years have rolled above me,
Though 'mid fairer scenes I roam.
Yet I ne'er shall •ccase to love theta.-- -
Childhood's dear and happy home!
And when life's long day is closing,
Oh, how pleasant it would he.
On some faithful breast reposing,
In the cottage by the sea.
Romance of Real Life.
C , assuming. the mime of
Jones; some years since; purchased a small
piece of land, and built on it a neat house
on the edge of a - common in Wiltshire.—
Here he low: resided unknowin« and almost
unknown, by .the neighborhood. Various
conjectures were formed respecting this soli
tary stranger; at length a clergyman took
some notice of him, and occasionally iuvited
him to his house, he found - him possessed of
intelligence and manners, which evidently
indicated his origin to be i the high station
of life. Returning one day from a visit to
the clergyman, he passed the house of it far.
11 r, at the door of which was the daughter
em ozed_at the washing tub: Ile looked at
the girl, and "thus accosferher ;
'"My girl,-would--you-like to be—naarriorl?"
"Sir!" exclaimed the girl.
"I asked you, young woman, if you would,
I will marry you."
"Lord, sir ! these are strange questions
from a man I never seen in my life Wore."
"Very likely," replied Mr. Jones; "but
however, I am serious, and will Skye you till
ten o'clock to-morrow to consider it. I will
call on you again,
and if I have your father's
consent, we Will be married the following
day." -
lie kept his appointment and meeting
with the father addressa*im.
, -"Sir, I have seen your daughter, I should
like her for a wife, and am come to ask your
'.'This proposal," answered the -old man,
.."is very. extraordinary from u_ stranger.—
. ; • Pray sir, who are you, and what are you?"
replied Mr. J., "yen have u right
- to ask these questions. 'My name is Jones;
_ the •new-house•on. the edge of the donation
- is inine,:and, if it is necessary, I can purchase
yonehonse and farm and half the, neighbor
„ •
They:were married: Three or four years
theflived'itithis, apartment, -and had two
,ehildren. - -,Mi.j..employed his time in' im
s•proving.his"Wife's Wind, but never disclosed
• Ationgth, on takirn. , ,'a . journey
- of pleasure - with her on coming to a Magnifi
: Tent, opacity:seat, "This, -my dear,” said he,
fis the, seat of tha Earl of
tind:lito - in and ask `leave , to
. • heir a 'nephew Whom
• dehtitihad 41rtven ' - rettieMent,' had : .flo
litinnilietirik,'ottor r Aimea years: - 'TVS *AO
- - tlieJ. re
ng -
- • 3 .• r...
• •
• WeidkJiiiirritliblogitildraieiielaeibit
winuell on her
, . _' - '.,, ,17 . ',-'-• ..• , . 1 -7;7'; ', ;, . .. : , .• ' . ' 1 `'" ,'"....5;,..,",;:' , -.,,,:;;;r•,:t 1 64,1p,.:4' i.3',a r ia-,,,,e..,-;ti i :
'7. ~4 4 • , .. , .
' .
• ' '- ` "."'-'!- - qt . .., ,r,:- - . --•., • ~-.•.:..
. ' •• ' ' ~: •-• •..,.• . - , . , .4-:•••,
- • , , .
, .
. „. . • • 1 , -_ , -- • • ••.!-- 2 -,1•: . , ' ' 0.1'5•••••", - -,.. , '",
- • . , - . c :
.. ,• c; , ..,) -k- .... = , ./ i•if l,;•:
. .
. - „..-,-_, i ....... m n .' ,-. • w. v .,..' ~,......-" - 1 •--,:.. 1.e.P.• ••_•. - k..N ; .•'',s,P•.; •,4-
~. _ ~ •-'. i. • ....); c ., ,- ~,. • - -4,-4 ~c4, ,. ..-...-7,, ,= ......--, -,•+ • •••• 7 - - '•t .....!?..-,-?.....'-'4 , --42-- -..e.".?54t1...-:-..•• - • , ..--:.-;••••'-.11. , ,-..._ , -.2.t.-• , ,r-5. , .. , -1 , 41;.-±% , .". ..-:.--,eL'4,...-,Nntra - a-t4,**;AAitiii.-.1-liat'age - V5 4404 0 4 '... 1 4.04 1 001,55###gi1f!gt. ,-- ----'••••fif.. ;
... ; , -.. , ;t. 1 ,.. :q•z•:' - --,•';‘•-•:`, '''‘-'t l :•'-' - ••''• r--i''-'•:- -- ••••+2 . - . -^ ".' •.%.,!;•;- -- - :',:- --- - •• -.-- ----7 i-- - - '' ••• ' ' •
~ -z ' '•• , t ' •t_i't 'f 9341,16 1 rt -, 4t , Wz.,-,.. • , . , f,,- ~,.
~...-,,„ 4; : t t_ ,.,,,, -
~ , t _ e....,-,,.. ,,,, ::: , „ ,, ,, , ,,t. ,,, i ,
___ ~., - q' , t,.1., ' , e , .141 - - 4.• • 1 1 , -- ` 1 '101"r" - ' ' -,.. 'r" . '''''% . l. 'i" . 1..2 ' ` 'l C' • '", ;V * - .'V . ." c - 1 - - ,. 1 ; l'''''''': ‘l "'' , s i- : : ;`' ,• r : k •Aal
. ia . r. f a x a - • --. ,, ,--'--- , -5, 4 4.7.,
, 1,,.. li , .a-,„-„--.1-, t , , , , , , „,,,- i',, - ; , --,-:-- ~,, s --::-,..)
-::-,..) •a- I , , •=••••„4 -...11,- .;,1 „',, 0,7 :-,,, - 1_ , .0.71' Li" ,-,-..' i x',3 -.^ ' ,-., , ,'.':- oiil. 4.:1-) ' ill f-''''• )09 1 ' 1 '-'
' "'
-,- ' ' ' ' - '.
- ' -'--• "ft , '**; 4 "•• ,,, 4i" ''`, : 4 'AV
, .•=rll,' , '-1 'k •• V, '- ,7 , , z-,' ' , )";; ,, c , ' - 1 , 51:k ' ' , l.' t t• '•
v f
_..,:,;:. . ~ ~.!.: ,1 ~,,,,, ..., ,
. '''"* 4l ' t 'ija4tyt-- 7.6etit""*.-1,&1144,",->1"..17445'1l
, '....1 ... r• ,4 . '' 4 -* '''' 1 . ' ' Ir ~,,.... - _.....i - • • ~....r.:....5"-:„..": ."•• , L„ , ;.? .. , , i , 4:r:4' ,
~, f ..".. '... i . 1 7 : :,1" .., i 7 ._ !, • ~- ~ ,
.., , ,
fl r _lt Nit, r,' .i .. 7 '? ''J '.., •0 : i .r.: ':;,11. t. • i * itif. e .... - •'' '''• -.
, ...
. II .., 0 1
. .
. 1- -" f ' ,„ 7 . 1'1 All . . 7; ' 111 .....' .....' ' I .2
' • • . „ ,
•„ .
• ,-
~ ~ _ . ,
•-'- '' ' ,6-4.-p ittAp, -- • , -,,
.. ,
, .
• , ,
- - ,-...:1.-`;•,-• .-, '',.. ' --.
. . ,
--.' ' - ' -,,.. :-- ' . L. . . ... „,- ~ „,. .. -., , ..-.. ~, -,.:-.., - .`-',-, ..:1-1,-, • : -.:, , -",..... ; „ 4 : :- -.-,:,.41-....:,:,-;. -,- . ... i, -t ,k;,, --1-. '
..., ,
• .„ , , . .
" The Bongs &the Night.
. As David, in his youthful.days, was tend
ing his flock on Bethlehem plains, the spirit
of the Lord came upon him, and. his senses
were ovoid, and his understanding enlight
ened, that he might comprehend thioiongs
of the night. The heavens proclaimed the
glory of God; the glittering stars all formed
one chorus. Their harmonious melody re
sounded on the earth, and the sweet fullness of
their voices vibrated to its uttermost bound's:
"Light is the countenance of the Eternal,'
sang the setting sun "I am the hem of his
_ rments," responded the rosy tint of twi-
The clouds gathered, and said, "We are
his nocturnal tent." And the waters in the
cloud, and the hollow voice of the thunders,
joined in the lofty chorus: "The voice of the'
Eternal is upon, the waters; the God of glory
thundereth; the Lord is upon many waters.'
' "He did fly upon my wings," whispered
the wind. And the silent air replied, "I am
the breath of God—the aspiration of his
benign presence,"
"-We hear the songs of praise," said the
earth; "all around is praise, I alone am silent
and mute." And the Ming dew replied,
"I will nourish thee, so that thou shalt be
refreshed and rejoice, and thy infant's shall
bloom, like the y. , ung rose."'
''Joyfully we bloom," replied the refresh
ed meadoers. The full cars xf - '6orm waved
as-- tti:tv—s to/
"We bless, you front above," said •the
moon. "We bless you," responded the stars.
And the grasshopper chirpped, "Me, too, he'
blesses in the pearlydew-drop"
"Ile quenched my thirst," said the rose;
"and refreshed me," continued the stag.—
"And he grants our food," said the beasts
of the forest. "And he clothes my lanrbs,"
greatefully sung the sheep.
"He heard me," croaked the raven, "when
I was forsaken and alone." "Ile heard me,"
said the wild goat of the forest, "when my
time came, and I cleaved"
iove woe+ , and the swal
lows and all the birds joined their song: "We
dwell on the altar of the Lord, and sleep
under the shawdow of his wings, in tranquili
ty and peace."
"And peace,'Leekoed the night; and echo
prolonged the sound, till chanticleer awaked
at-dawn and crowed, "Open the portals, the
gates of the world; the King of glory ap
proaches. Awake, arise, ye Sons of meal
Give praise, and thanks to the Lord, for the
King of glory approaches." -
The sun arose, and -David awoke from his
melodious rapture; and as long as he
the strains of creation's harmony remained
in his soul, and daily he recalled them upon
the strings of his harp.
Andrew-diohnson of Tennessee, now Mili
tary Governor of that State in a speech in
the Senate, defined his Democracy as fol
"I am i t ; Democrat now; I have been one
all my life; Lexpect to live and die one; and
,the corner-stone of my Democracy rests up
on the enduring basis of the Union. Demo
crats may come and go, but they shall nev
er divert me from the polar star by which I
have ever been guided from early life—the
great principle of Democracy upon which
this Government rests, and which cannot be
'carried out without the preservation of the
Union of these States. The pretence hith
erto employed by many who are now in the
traitor's camp has been, "we are for the U
nion; we are.not for dissolution'; but we are
opposed to coercion.'' How long, Senators,
g -sung
Where are now, most of those who sang those
syrcu tones to us ? Look back to last .ses
sion, and. inquire where now are the incti
who then.were singing that song in our ears?
IYhere is Trusten Polk, who then stood 'and
gently craved for peace ? Ile is in the rebel
camp. 'Where is John C. Breckinridge ?
a man for whose promotion to the Presiden
cy, I did what I could, physically, mentally,
and pecuniarily: but when he satisfied me
that he was breaking this Government, and
would ere long be a traitor to his country, 1
dropped him. lie was here at the last ses
sion of Congress: and everybody , could see
then that he was on, the road to the traitor's
camp. In stead of sustaining the Govern.
meat, he, too, was crying out for peice; but
he was bitter against 'Lincoln's Government.'
Sir when I talk about preserving this Govern
ment, I do not'have its executive officer in
my mind.° The executive head of the Ger . -
eminent conies in and goes out of office every
fouryears. Ile is the mere creature of the
people. I talk about the Government with
out regard to the particular executive officers
who have charge of if,. If they do well, we
can continue theimif they de wrong we can
turn them out. Mr. Lincoln having conic in
according-to the form,of land the Consti
tution; I, loving my Goiernment and the
Union, felt it to he - thY;diity, to standby . the
Government, and to stand by the - Adminis
tration in all These measures . . that I believed
to be tiecessary.aiidi.properrei the'Preier!az
tiou and - perpetuntion tif,theUfilon.
, .
The -Worst of the law is that 'one snitbreeds
a seine:.
.' The. abuse of .riches - . is worse than -the
want of theta. - -- - _
To - whom you betruirt. r secret you - sire
your liberty. M
- . What "tooil'etotit do-an asis to be called a
Itthotiveir iortitnt to Alter fbi.:,tan'st''' c euiii
4ip-Itis 4401: •
• -= •••':
nothing Litt wipd, ein7,
" • ,
- • • • - -
wsztrizily rireevimew4tipea. I Isreetzwea tl3 Pautiong mad_ itoutstemt.
Air, Sunshine and Hifilth.
A New .Yor k r merchant noticed, in the
progress of years;that each successive book ,
keeper gradually lost his health, and finally
died of consumption, however vigorous and,
robust he was on entering his service. ;At
length it'oeivirred 'to him that the little red
room, where the books were kept, opened in
a bac k yard, and Was - so surrounded 'by high
walls that no sunshine came into it fiord
one year's end to another. 'An upper room
well lighted, was immediately prepared, and
his eletkwhad uniform good health ever af
ter. A fainiliar case to' general readers is
derived from medical works, white an entire
English family became ill, and all remedies
seemed to filil_ortheir stral_inesults,—whe ,
accidentally, a window glass of the room was
broken in cold weather. It was not repair
ed, and forthwith there- was a marked im
provement in the health of the inmates:—
The physician at once traced the connection,
discontinued his medicines, and ordered that
the window pane should not be replaced. A
French lady became ill. The mast eminent
physicians of her time were called in, but,
failed to restore her. At length Dupeytren,
the Napoleon of physic, was consulted. •He
noticed that she "lived M a dim room, into
the sutnever shone, the house being
:1 uated in one of the narrow streets or lanes,
of Paris. He at once ordered* more airy or
cheerful apartments, and all her ailments
vanished. The inns of,a dog bbcome
berculated (consumptive) in afew weeks, if
kept_._cspfined in a dark - . cellar. The most
c_wiiruoutilant; grows-spindly, pale, and sera &-
gy, if' no s /alight falls upon it. The
greatest Medical names in France of,,the last
century, regarded sunshine and pure air as
ag,euts in restoring and maintaining
health. From these facts , which cannot be
disputed, the most con Con mind should
conclude that cellars, and rooms on the north
ern side o f buildings, or apartments into
which the sun does not immediately shine,
should never be occupied ns family rooms or
chambers, or as libraries or studies.
Such apartments are only fit for stowage, or
purposes which never require persons to re
nain-in-them but a f • nuu es at a time.—
And every intelligent and humane parent
will arrange that the family room and the
chambers shall be the most conunoilious,
lightest and . brightest apartments i n the
Sabbath Bells
Said Daniel Webster : "I once defended a
man charged with the awful crime of mur
der. At the conclusion of the trial I asked
him what _could __induce_him -to—stain—his
hands in the blood of a fellow-being. Turn
ing his blood-shot eyes fully upon me, he
answered in a voice of despair, 'Mr. Webster
in my youth, I spent the holy Sabbath in
evil amusements, insteid of frequenting the
house of prayer and praise,' Could we go
back to the early years of all hardened crim
inals, I believe, thinly believe, that the first
departure from the path of morality was,
when they abandoned the Sabbath-school,
and their subsequent crimes might thus be
traced back to the neglect of youthful religL
ions instruction.
"Many years ago I spent a Sabbath with
Thomas Jefferson, at his residence in. Vir
ginia. It was in the month of June, and the
weather was delightful. I remarked, 'How
very sweetly sounds that Sabbath bell I'
That distinguished statesman for a moment
seemed lost in thought and then replied—
Yes, my dear W4lster, yes, it melts the
heart, it calms our passions, and makes us
boys again."
One of the released prisoners from Richmond
cavalry made a decent upon a "Dunkard"
settlement in the Valley of Roekinghani
Oiiiityja. They captured some seventy of
these hard-working, long, snuff color coated
and long-bearded, inoffensive people, and car
ried them to Richmond. After keeping,
them in confinement for some time, the rebel
guvernment agreed to release, them on condi
tion that each captive should pay into the
Treasury five hundred dollars in silver. It
was finally determined that one among them
—a clergyman of their peculiar religious
faith—should be permitted to' return , home
for the purpose of raising the amount of the
ransom. After an absence he returned 'to
Richmond, and paid over to the rebel gov
ernment twenty-two thousand five hundred
dollars iu hard Siker for the ransom of the
larger portion. of his friends. The un
fortunate who could not raise the money were
detailed to do duty among the negro team
Commou'ircalth of illassaclidsetts, desired,
feif years since, to ascertain the number, of
idiots in the State, with a view to, arrange
ments for their welfare, as well as to estab
lish the statistics of the case. The Legisla-.
41re-sent oat a CommissiOnlof Inquiry, and
the report of the,conimissiOn lies before us.
One passage, page 90, .gives, "the statistic's
ofievcuteen families, the heads of which be
ing blood Mollies, intermarried," which he .
had occasion to . inquire about in the dis
charge of his conimusaiiiti:: Ninety-five Ail %
dren .were, the lanes' of these:seventeen mar
riages. Of the ninetylie Children, one
Was a dwarf,
_one was_ deaf, twelve others
were scrofulous. and puny and forty r four
were idiots.. -Fano : A.orwerfi ,
turn iiiisalts enough and no dm
sidgration,qf,Ont:txneni, custom, or prejudme
should drown her voiCe.
NAKI I truth' -Ireditable slttd shildreu: will
believe it;' quake gooduess .JovAly- iked,they
will lore t make lolijiidei theocrat Awl they.
mill be. _glad fait; but, rewind. thAwkof them,
,selvs- by tbre4treor.>:,etko4Aplivie, mial
imp it the tb
'ree' Otkaiet.ueepieHeiioult q trtie4.
lioes— r tyeur words peeevier. i~toiu , my to be
o rebel
t go a aqua
A heigho—unfelt can know the pangs
Which pierce the innocent soul,
Or tell with what o'erwhelining force•
The waves of sorrow roll ; . , -
When, from the hearelLendearod embrace
Its second self, is , torn.
By ruthless death's unsparing hind.
Made desolate—forlorn
No wonder our mind oft reverts
To where our kindred- dwell;
No wonder that our tears should fall
When 'called to say—Failevrem,.
The Puts in Heart.
'.Blessed are the pure in , heart,
ee God:' LM ir. 6
THE spring of everlastin g life is within.--
There are clear streams gus hing up from the
depths of the soul, awl flowing out to enliv
en the sphere of Outward existence. But
like the waters of Siloah, they "go softly."
You must listen to catch the silver tones:of
the little4ill as it glides from its mountain
home; you may not witness its silent march
%through the green vale, but its course will
be seen in the fresh verdure and the opening
flowers; its presence will be known by the
forms of life and beauty that gather around
it. It is ever thus with the pure. You may
not hear the "still small voice" or heed the
silent aspiration; but there is a moral influ
ence and a holy power which you will feel.
The wilderness is made to smile, flowers of
new life and beauty spring up and flourish,
while an invisible presence breathes humor
tal fragrance through the spiritual atmos
True Self,dovernment.
An eloquent and popular lecturer gives
utterance to this eternal truth: "Men need
governments of restraint, just in proportion
to the degree in which they are nut develop
ed and free. As the individual becomes ed
ucated and, strong in his whole nature, mor
al and intellectual, he needs no government.
For God made the human soul sufficient for
all its own exigencies. it is a perfect state.•
one will deny that there` are individuals so
highly developed that they do not need the
restraints o f artificial government. This
conceded, and the possibility of all men
reaching the same standard is demonstrated
—for the principle that produces one per
feet specimen must be potent to produce
many, and its rare mani°estation in the pres
ent darkened State of the world, is a glorious
prophecy of its future universality, when all
men shall be superior to the best of to-day,_
because - the - future - will be free frotn tempta
tions and corrupting influences of evil. It is
easier to be upright among the righteous
than to maintain one's , integrity while sur
rounded by the vicious and unprincipled.—
God speed the day. when every man shall be
a law unto himself, and do righteously un
SToP WORRYING.—In a social gathering
It few evenings since, the conversation turn
ed upon the prevalent tendency among men
to fret over 'evils, whether inkaginary or real;
and the subject was so impressed upon my
mind as to, change many a subsequently
gloomy thought into brightness and peace.
A elprical friend presbnt related au incident
in-Ifis own experience, the moral which is
too valuable to be lost to the public.
At a celebrated watering place he met a
lady who seemed hovering on 'the brink of
the grave. Her cheeks were hollow and
wan, her manner listless, her step languid,
and her brow wore the severe contraction
indicative both of mental and physical suffer.,
in.., so that to all o •• : s-an-ob--
pet of sincerest pity. _ _ _
' Some years afterwards he encountered
the same lady, but so bright, and fresh, and
youthful, so full of healthful buoyancy, and
. so joyous in expression, that he questioned
himself if he was deceived with regard to i
"Is it possible," said he, "that I see be
fore me Mrs. 8., who'presented suck a dole
ful appearance at the springs a few years
"The same."
"And pray tell me, madam, the secret of
your cure. Whit means did you use to at
tain to such vigor of Mind- and -body—to
such cheerfulness and .rejuvenationV'
"A most simple remedy," returned she,
with a beaming face. "r stopped worrying
and began to laugh—thal wasull."
the, bill for the
,proteition of the bald eagle,
commonly called the American. Eagle, came
up in the. Ilonie_ef 'Rep'resetitatives.' on its
third 'reading. on Monday; Mr. - .Severeuce,
the author yF the bilk.arese inits defence,
and addressed : 4h° house. as, follows:—"Mr.
-Speaker, 1 have, onlito.,,say,
,that any man
who will injure' titled' array the life of
: our Taiionnl bird, is,mcan • enough to car
ry rotten ;sardines in t=ie .same .pocket With
Musty, fine-cut tobacco, and pass the same
a=round on the ace of spades at the-commu
nion tabte'Or would=omptylhe Caitteen'Of a
rebel : pristiner,,,andiiit upon it, and whistle
Confederate. air e keyhole_ of
Wagiinp.,ieri!ti - tomb' the bill of
paSsea' - •'•'-‘ -
DOCTOR gni* of Edinburgh, was.foud,
of a good thing-, it'
,r, out of his- praptiee,
Siumbling into a church. one day, while th..
sennnttAvoxin P.l' o 4,l:e B 4, l lpiQuod thO.prpaeher
in t„callS he ; poured out, words, pot4noughpr,
upon hiti
"What niakea'hini weep?". asked D. Girth'
one'standing'ileir hint.%
.13y, .awl you wouldjroploxif
yinu wero in his phiee,,and had fur
FAY, flot
Itila,d,glikge. to pow_ -
t 6004 .for
7,l g V
Foi ; ,
, sinee the report pi! the tot billipubliihed
was given to the public, BOyeral tiew;ame,nd.
inetitS have been ale• to it as .
For kissing a - pretty girt $l.OO.
For kissing a homely one, $2.80. - -41te,ev
- (iitnount being added,,probably as a pun
ishment for the man's rolly.
For Aissing one another, Ten Dollqrs—
the tax is placed at this rate in order to
break up the custom altogether. • It being
regarded by our M. C'El as a piece of inexcu
sable absurdity.
For every flirtation, 10 eta.
Every • oung nian who has more thati one'
°curl" i; -; 11.
for they, shall
For tour ing in the kitchen; 25 cts..
Courting in the sitting room, 50 cts.
Courting in the - parlor, $l.OO.
Courting in a romantic place, $5.00, and
50 eta. for each offence thereafter.
Seem a lady home from church, 25 eta
for each offence..
• Seeing her home from the dime society, 5
cents—the proceeds to be appropriated to
the relief of disabled army chaplains.
From a lady who paints 50 cents.
For wearing low necked dresps
For each curl on a lady's head above ten,
five cot ts.
For every unfair device for entrap`ping
young . men..into the sin of matrimony, $5..00.
For wearing hoops larger thari ten feet iu
ejrcumference, 8 cents for each hoop.
Old bachelors over' thirty are taker'
Over forty WO,OO.
Over fifty, $50.00, and sentenced to ban
ishment to Utah.
Each pretty lady is to be taxed from 25
ets—to $25.00, she to fix the estimate on her
own beauty. It is thought that a very large
amount wilt be realized from this provision.
Each boy baby, 50 cents.
Each girl baby, 10 mints.
Families having_ more than eight babies
are not to be taxed.
The nos
got to Speaker of the Vermont Legislature,
an elegant man, and given to gallantry,. face
tiously opposed a. woman's rights bill. The
"strong minded lady" who was engflieering
the measure, foldbd a. flannel petticoat in a
paper, and sent it to the Speaker by the•
page, purposing t o enjoy his discomfiture
, front her' seat in the gallery. When the
garment was Unfolded on the desk there was
a sensation. Raising the garment in his
xigLt hand, and smiling• complacently, the
_Speaket_spoke, "gentleman, I have received
many flattering attentions from the fair sex,
but never before so pleasing a compliment
as this. It is indeed a beautiful gift. And
what enhances the delicmy of the donation
the name of the fair donor is concealed., Ah,
the darling ! she knew that I would recog
e petticoat."
THE WRY THEY ao.—The Newbury-port
Herald reminds user facts calculated to dimin
ish individual consequence• A thousand
millions of people averaging. only the-age of
thirty years, requires 01;000 to die every
day, or one in every second of time, and as
many to be born to keep the number good.
Half of those born disappear before they
come tor maturity, as half the blossoms on
a tree will fall worthles's to the ground, but
six in a hundred live to be sixty years old:
btit one in 500 reaches eighty, and but one
in 1000 one.hundred. .
l'fiust..—The odor of musk is wonderfully
enduring. When Justinian, in - 538, rebuilt
what Is now the mosque of St. Sophia, the
mortar was charged with musk, and to this
very day the atmosphere is filled with the
dor. More than a thousand' Of years! And
yet the fragrance of noble deeds lasts longer
still. , The •words Ruth • said on that distant
day—"where thou goest, I will go,"—will
be remembered when the perfumed mortar
of St. Joseph is scentless sand.
'George the First, on a journey to. Hano
ver, stopped at a village in Holland, and
while tho, horses were getting ready ', he ask
ed for two or three eggs, which were brought ,
him, and was charged two. hundred florins. -
'now is that?' said - the majesty, .'eggw
must be very. scarce in this ,place.' .
Pardon me,' said the host, 'eggs are plea
ty 'enough, but king are scarce?'
The king smiled,and ordered the . money
to be paid.
Gen. Sigel, who has been quite ill for
Foene time in St. Louis, is so far recovered
as to:Ile able -to take the ,field:lt is'report
that Ben., McCulloch ,., durin g the, battle at
Pea Ridge; Selected thirty, maricsniei from
the,ranks of hia
,sharp-shooters and directed
them to bring .down the Dutchman.','
Buralthougli Sigel eonstantly eipoSed him
self to their aim, they:eouid not hit him.
.adies., prepare an , es trome , ebange.of ah
it !;:for the Paris coirespeadeet .says the la.:
dies air,e,eotidag-aut . without 'hairs, bistles,
wadding; aifythiog also.
e ;
A ltlisSisloppt ,paper .suggesta. that the
rebels, instead of - destroying their cotton s
- 'dean. hid ion the approach-vf theTOdetal
tynops." apprehend, that tilLthe p3ttoti
hiddpn-suemsefully from ,"thorOugh searehes
of our boyil will be thatlidden by the ladies.
•The•salt ei3nreCti
gravy ,dieaaftd. , :' Lot's would brit cents alkx , l4o; thPre:.•:r4el }tittkt
-fiega,r taewould lio deomed - a c eeaeouolle.
: prise:`
. ;•,•-• ...,..
, The grand ense4piati-nlo happini
world are etnnotkinfg‘to - do - tiometb)
ainnithinetoliiverrefi f
j ifq,,t4t 4 Psr,AllfittOgirki4lk
,141 1 .1.1)tittlirree)( 1 019 1 1 1 ?;lit
:17t • '
The Tax-silL•
" ,
*lll;glifellftr Irefir
. ; :,1 7 a..tatteeilpg0--own
'To makes geed ' , gardoe;' ,- :.' , get good
Rifer' ;.:: -,!: 1.: • •
Itla said that' :a ' •
twose'conds.!,,;-:i. :
.Was a real stingy min ever knOivicti give.
ajoke? ;
If you want to kiss• a pretty:g4 why, kidd
her—if you can.,, If a- pretty
,girl' atite to
kiss you, why let her- 7 ' llke a mau, . •
. 16. • • AREETIG--"MtW
portrait of Mier torn?' ; ' asked .a oheinirof
three summers
."No Why , do you:mkt!: ‘.
"Why, this inorning,ho said,dammy pie 7,
thief.' ; " . •
A wan who had --established ;101464
house; was about to erect his sign, and re
quested his neighbor's advice -as to the in
scription The man raged, I adyise'yOu : to,
Write on it, "Pegros
The keeper of si groggem-alias ode S fall,
happened one day to break ~ one of his:tum
blers. lie stood f o r a nrinent looking, at,,.-
the fragments, refieethigAiii his 150, and thoroo- - - ---
turning to his 'assistant; 'he age's' otit;: - -
put a quart of water in that old.
A downeaster has just perfected an instru:'
latent to learn babies to walk.. A gtachiwe.
Co learn babies to talk Is under way.
, A popular quack adverthies to cure "sick':
and unhappy trives.'.! , Why not intent.
something to restore seelding, ones into a
good humor?'
A cienius out west has just incentetla apw
artieg—"portable earthquakes for the Oro
teetion of person and property." By touch
ing a spring you let loose a kick that licks a
threshingtuachine iu about five relay. -
It is said there arepeoPle ' in the
taiu District" of Kentucky; Flo green that
they -followed . a wagon which. happened Ao
pass that way, twenty miles, just : to,
whether the. hind wheels would overtake the,
front ones: ' ' ' '
If your mother's mother waamylnotheed
aunt, what relation-would • your, / great grand
father"s nephew be to my eider brother's
The individual who has been seen by the
eye of a . potato has never been visible.
num may possibly disedver
Was there
nough to be
An elephant once nearly killed aulrish
man for an insult offered to his trunk. :Pad
dy, in explanation of his temerity`; 'said 'it
was impble to resist a nose you could' pill!
with both kinds.
A man who can crack *ri half
ute after a fifty-sit ha alien on leis toes may
be called excruciatingly' fumiy. - - "
. „
The more women look in their glasses, ihi; •
less they look in their houses. „
"Wake up, here,,aud. pay_ for your
Ingo," said the Deaaoa i . as ; he,-Raged
sleepy stranger with the contribution bci:.
A country editor havingrecelvedjmogold
dollars in advance" for his paper. Says Oatle
allows. his child to play With tite`other
dren, as usual.
A young lady fainted tbo,other day at.the
dinner table, on bearing a4ertain gallant tietc r „.l .. ,,
captain remark to a lady friend beside
that he,bad often been on the bosom of the
It requires but little acipiiintatie6 'with
the heart, to know thiit woman's first
is to be handsome, and that, eonsecuintly,
the readieit method of obtaining her kind ;
mess is to praise her beauty.
The less a man knows the *robe believe#.,,,
in the supernatural wvo cver knew an ig
noramus to pass au
oat seeing "Spirits," or a white horse with a
bluehaired rider on him.
. ~ .. .. . .., ..
.BEAT,Tuxs.—Afr. Baker . 7 allowed -T,lB •, an
. .
e r n* yesterday 'which '.,vi,as, seven , , inches .in
etreinuferenee: - Can anybody 'beat titre.—
Syracuse Reveille.: 'r -'' '' ' '
Certainly. , Break.-the egg, into a
and with a
• Therti is but one instance ot aieratin inter•-*-'
(bring between man.and-wife-in their '•irp3ibs. - •
'with either safety:'or success,
`son thrashed them both-, , •
A• eleumap asked of his setipture.:pwili;,::...
whether 'tthe
_leopard could ....ehattge. -.kilt.
ariott ?" "To lie stire,'" ieldied Iflly, Whim,,
he'gets tired of iiim spilt he goes tei ansit;iittr." --
, - , ~. • , ..., ~.::., ~1...?. . .!.- - -:
i s.
'"Johnny," ,said a, moille : te.a..601),:. rape, ,
-years. old, , "go ; and itash iii,filie:' lIM
'ashamed to see you'euuring - din'UeiWith - tiii -
dirtra mot 0.2,', ',did wash4tinitimia t and '
°,feeliu4 , ilifA. A_4l , p_cr_lip,... Jle,,added:gravos.,:‘,l 2,
'think it Must ha a moustaaho-eomiugr s , • •
4:ol2their - kinitof
tltesrgz*ftd": l o ll3- tilYiLAct.Akeeleline at wenree:st , '
-illetaepe ref fi# y - tpeeee.froingeikh"-cother'
(64,3441 %COO*, *-thq, tkraesevitwber2.'
triPikailit.P4s at
_iairiAgnikeeereLi=ittietoW ,
thought that therewould be geeelett
II unlucky e,
ili of a rivet'.
1.::".7:^5.7: : ::: , zz; ::::, .: