serr VOLUME XVI. IPCI3EPrI 4 O.4LXa. RAM 8I AND RAM MD. "I love them that 'seek me; and those that seek me find early shall me.".—PROVICR)2B 8: 17. Come while the blossoms of thy years are b lightest, Thou youthful Wanderer in a flowery maze— Come, while the reritleseheart h bounding lightest, And joy's poor sunbeams tremble in th • ways; Come, while sweet thought, like summer buds un- folding, Waken rich feelings in thyi'esreless breast, • W ' • .3r_hand-ttre-ephenteral-vrreatiFire—ho . ing, Come, and secure interminable rest. Soon will the freshness of thy days be over, And thy free buoyancy of soul be flown— Pleasure will fold her wings—and friend and lover Will to the enibmees t•f the worms have gone Those who now love thee; will have passed tbrever, Their looks of kindness will be lust tol thee— Thoult need a halm to heal thy spirits fever, As thy sick heart broods over years to be Come, while the morning of thy life is eowing Ere the dim phantoms thou art chasing die— Ere the gay spell which earsh is round thee throw ing, Fades like the crimson from a sunset sky. • Life is but a shadow, save a promise given, That tights the future with a fad. less - tay— Come—touch the seethe—win a hope jn heaven; Come, turn thy spirit from this worlirawsy. Then-AC-the shadow-of-this--brief eibilericer Deem airy nothing to thine ardent soul— And shining brightly in the forward dietetic*, W ill, of ttty patient race, appear the gout. Home of the weary —Where, in peace reposing, The spirit lingers in unclouded bliss, Though o!er the dust the curtained grave is eyes • ing, Who would not, early, choose a lot like this! THE WEIGH HT THE SEA. Childhood's days now pass before me, Forum and scenes of long ago,. Like a dream they hover o'er me. Calm and bright as evenings glow; Days that knew no shade of sorrow, When my young heart, pure and free, In the cottage by the sea. • Fancy sees the rose trees twining Round the old and rustic door, And, below„ the white Beach shining, Wfere I vnthered shells of yore Heard my,thothers gentle warning, As she took me on her knee; And I feel again life's morning, In the euttage ay the sea. What though years have rolled above me, Though 'mid fairer scenes I roam. Yet I ne'er shall •ccase to love theta.-- - Childhood's dear and happy home! And when life's long day is closing, Oh, how pleasant it would he. On some faithful breast reposing, In the cottage by the sea. 111CISICP1Ellia1..4L.NY.. Romance of Real Life. C , assuming. the mime of Jones; some years since; purchased a small piece of land, and built on it a neat house on the edge of a - common in Wiltshire.— Here he low: resided unknowin« and almost unknown, by .the neighborhood. Various conjectures were formed respecting this soli tary stranger; at length a clergyman took some notice of him, and occasionally iuvited him to his house, he found - him possessed of intelligence and manners, which evidently indicated his origin to be i the high station of life. Returning one day from a visit to the clergyman, he passed the house of it far. 11 r, at the door of which was the daughter em ozed_at the washing tub: Ile looked at the girl, and "thus accosferher ; '"My girl,-would--you-like to be—naarriorl?" "Sir!" exclaimed the girl. "I asked you, young woman, if you would, I will marry you." "Lord, sir ! these are strange questions from a man I never seen in my life Wore." "Very likely," replied Mr. Jones; "but however, I am serious, and will Skye you till ten o'clock to-morrow to consider it. I will call on you again, and if I have your father's consent, we Will be married the following day." - lie kept his appointment and meeting with the father addressa*im. , -"Sir, I have seen your daughter, I should like her for a wife, and am come to ask your consent," '.'This proposal," answered the -old man, .."is very. extraordinary from u_ stranger.— . ; • Pray sir, who are you, and what are you?" replied Mr. J., "yen have u right - to ask these questions. 'My name is Jones; _ the •new-house•on. the edge of the donation - is inine,:and, if it is necessary, I can purchase yonehonse and farm and half the, neighbor „ • They:were married: Three or four years theflived'itithis, apartment, -and had two ,ehildren. - -,Mi.j..employed his time in' im s•proving.his"Wife's Wind, but never disclosed • Ationgth, on takirn. , ,'a . journey - of pleasure - with her on coming to a Magnifi : Tent, opacity:seat, "This, -my dear,” said he, fis the, seat of tha Earl of tind:lito - tvilf.ge in and ask `leave , to you." Mansion . • heir a 'nephew Whom . • dehtitihad 41rtven ' - rettieMent,' had : .flo litinnilietirik,'ottor r Aimea years: - 'TVS *AO - - tlieJ. re ng - - • 3 .• r... • • • WeidkJiiiirritliblogitildraieiielaeibit winuell on her ()e.,Asotiont ..ixotoadio rilearno Qtro:l*7- , . _' - '.,, ,17 . ',-'-• ..• , . 1 -7;7'; ', ;, . .. : , .• ' . ' 1 `'" ,'"....5;,..,",;:' , -.,,,:;;;r•,:t 1 64,1p,.:4' i.3',a r ia-,,,,e..,-;ti i : '7. ~4 4 • , .. , . 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II .., 0 1 . . . 1- -" f ' ,„ 7 . 1'1 All . . 7; ' 111 .....' .....' ' I .2 ' • • . „ , •„ . • ,- ~ ~ _ . , •-'- '' ' ,6-4.-p ittAp, -- • , -,, .. , , . • , , - - ,-...:1.-`;•,-• .-, '',.. ' --. . . , --.' ' - ' -,,.. :-- ' . L. . . ... „,- ~ „,. .. -., , ..-.. ~, -,.:-.., - .`-',-, ..:1-1,-, • : -.:, , -",..... ; „ 4 : :- -.-,:,.41-....:,:,-;. -,- . ... i, -t ,k;,, --1-. ' ..., , • .„ , , . . .. ESSE " The Bongs &the Night. OEND FROM THE TALMUD . As David, in his youthful.days, was tend ing his flock on Bethlehem plains, the spirit of the Lord came upon him, and. his senses were ovoid, and his understanding enlight ened, that he might comprehend thioiongs of the night. The heavens proclaimed the glory of God; the glittering stars all formed one chorus. Their harmonious melody re sounded on the earth, and the sweet fullness of their voices vibrated to its uttermost bound's: "Light is the countenance of the Eternal,' sang the setting sun "I am the hem of his _ rments," responded the rosy tint of twi- The clouds gathered, and said, "We are his nocturnal tent." And the waters in the cloud, and the hollow voice of the thunders, joined in the lofty chorus: "The voice of the' Eternal is upon, the waters; the God of glory thundereth; the Lord is upon many waters.' ' "He did fly upon my wings," whispered the wind. And the silent air replied, "I am the breath of God—the aspiration of his benign presence," "-We hear the songs of praise," said the earth; "all around is praise, I alone am silent and mute." And the Ming dew replied, "I will nourish thee, so that thou shalt be refreshed and rejoice, and thy infant's shall bloom, like the y. , ung rose."' ''Joyfully we bloom," replied the refresh ed meadoers. The full cars xf - '6orm waved . as-- tti:tv—s to/ "We bless, you front above," said •the moon. "We bless you," responded the stars. And the grasshopper chirpped, "Me, too, he' blesses in the pearlydew-drop" "Ile quenched my thirst," said the rose; "and refreshed me," continued the stag.— "And he grants our food," said the beasts of the forest. "And he clothes my lanrbs," greatefully sung the sheep. "He heard me," croaked the raven, "when I was forsaken and alone." "Ile heard me," said the wild goat of the forest, "when my time came, and I cleaved" iove woe+ , and the swal lows and all the birds joined their song: "We dwell on the altar of the Lord, and sleep under the shawdow of his wings, in tranquili ty and peace." "And peace,'Leekoed the night; and echo prolonged the sound, till chanticleer awaked at-dawn and crowed, "Open the portals, the gates of the world; the King of glory ap proaches. Awake, arise, ye Sons of meal Give praise, and thanks to the Lord, for the King of glory approaches." - The sun arose, and -David awoke from his melodious rapture; and as long as he the strains of creation's harmony remained in his soul, and daily he recalled them upon the strings of his harp. Andrew-diohnson of Tennessee, now Mili tary Governor of that State in a speech in the Senate, defined his Democracy as fol lows: "I am i t ; Democrat now; I have been one all my life; Lexpect to live and die one; and ,the corner-stone of my Democracy rests up on the enduring basis of the Union. Demo crats may come and go, but they shall nev er divert me from the polar star by which I have ever been guided from early life—the great principle of Democracy upon which this Government rests, and which cannot be 'carried out without the preservation of the Union of these States. The pretence hith erto employed by many who are now in the traitor's camp has been, "we are for the U nion; we are.not for dissolution'; but we are opposed to coercion.'' How long, Senators, g -sung Where are now, most of those who sang those syrcu tones to us ? Look back to last .ses sion, and. inquire where now are the incti who then.were singing that song in our ears? IYhere is Trusten Polk, who then stood 'and gently craved for peace ? Ile is in the rebel camp. 'Where is John C. Breckinridge ? a man for whose promotion to the Presiden cy, I did what I could, physically, mentally, and pecuniarily: but when he satisfied me that he was breaking this Government, and would ere long be a traitor to his country, 1 dropped him. lie was here at the last ses sion of Congress: and everybody , could see then that he was on, the road to the traitor's camp. In stead of sustaining the Govern. meat, he, too, was crying out for peice; but he was bitter against 'Lincoln's Government.' Sir when I talk about preserving this Govern ment, I do not'have its executive officer in my mind.° The executive head of the Ger . - eminent conies in and goes out of office every fouryears. Ile is the mere creature of the people. I talk about the Government with out regard to the particular executive officers who have charge of if,. If they do well, we can continue theimif they de wrong we can turn them out. Mr. Lincoln having conic in according-to the form,of land the Consti tution; I, loving my Goiernment and the Union, felt it to he - thY;diity, to standby . the Government, and to stand by the - Adminis tration in all These measures . . that I believed to be tiecessary.aiidi.properrei the'Preier!az tiou and - perpetuntion tif,theUfilon. , . The -Worst of the law is that 'one snitbreeds a seine:. . .' The. abuse of .riches - . is worse than -the want of theta. - -- - _ To - whom you betruirt. r secret you - sire your liberty. M ;., - . What "tooil'etotit do-an asis to be called a Itthotiveir iortitnt to Alter fbi.:,tan'st''' c euiii 4ip-Itis 4401: • • -= •••': nothing Litt wipd, ein7, " • , • - • • • - - wsztrizily rireevimew4tipea. I Isreetzwea tl3 Pautiong mad_ itoutstemt. WAYNESBORO', FRANKLIN COUNTY, PENNSYLVAN A, FRIDAY MORNING, MAY x. 1802. Air, Sunshine and Hifilth. A New .Yor k r merchant noticed, in the progress of years;that each successive book , keeper gradually lost his health, and finally died of consumption, however vigorous and, robust he was on entering his service. ;At length it'oeivirred 'to him that the little red room, where the books were kept, opened in a bac k yard, and Was - so surrounded 'by high walls that no sunshine came into it fiord one year's end to another. 'An upper room well lighted, was immediately prepared, and his eletkwhad uniform good health ever af ter. A fainiliar case to' general readers is derived from medical works, white an entire English family became ill, and all remedies seemed to filil_ortheir stral_inesults,—whe , accidentally, a window glass of the room was broken in cold weather. It was not repair ed, and forthwith there- was a marked im provement in the health of the inmates:— The physician at once traced the connection, discontinued his medicines, and ordered that the window pane should not be replaced. A French lady became ill. The mast eminent physicians of her time were called in, but, failed to restore her. At length Dupeytren, the Napoleon of physic, was consulted. •He noticed that she "lived M a dim room, into the sutnever shone, the house being :1 uated in one of the narrow streets or lanes, of Paris. He at once ordered* more airy or cheerful apartments, and all her ailments vanished. The inns of,a dog bbcome berculated (consumptive) in afew weeks, if kept_._cspfined in a dark - . cellar. The most c_wiiruoutilant; grows-spindly, pale, and sera &- gy, if' no s /alight falls upon it. The greatest Medical names in France of,,the last century, regarded sunshine and pure air as ag,euts in restoring and maintaining health. From these facts , which cannot be disputed, the most con Con mind should conclude that cellars, and rooms on the north ern side o f buildings, or apartments into which the sun does not immediately shine, should never be occupied ns family rooms or chambers, or as libraries or studies. Such apartments are only fit for stowage, or purposes which never require persons to re nain-in-them but a f • nuu es at a time.— And every intelligent and humane parent will arrange that the family room and the chambers shall be the most conunoilious, lightest and . brightest apartments i n the Sabbath Bells Said Daniel Webster : "I once defended a man charged with the awful crime of mur der. At the conclusion of the trial I asked him what _could __induce_him -to—stain—his hands in the blood of a fellow-being. Turn ing his blood-shot eyes fully upon me, he answered in a voice of despair, 'Mr. Webster in my youth, I spent the holy Sabbath in evil amusements, insteid of frequenting the house of prayer and praise,' Could we go back to the early years of all hardened crim inals, I believe, thinly believe, that the first departure from the path of morality was, when they abandoned the Sabbath-school, and their subsequent crimes might thus be traced back to the neglect of youthful religL ions instruction. "Many years ago I spent a Sabbath with Thomas Jefferson, at his residence in. Vir ginia. It was in the month of June, and the weather was delightful. I remarked, 'How very sweetly sounds that Sabbath bell I' That distinguished statesman for a moment seemed lost in thought and then replied— Yes, my dear W4lster, yes, it melts the heart, it calms our passions, and makes us boys again." TUE REBELS SUPPLIED WITII , FUNDS.- One of the released prisoners from Richmond ___—...r. cavalry made a decent upon a "Dunkard" settlement in the Valley of Roekinghani Oiiiityja. They captured some seventy of these hard-working, long, snuff color coated and long-bearded, inoffensive people, and car ried them to Richmond. After keeping, them in confinement for some time, the rebel guvernment agreed to release, them on condi tion that each captive should pay into the Treasury five hundred dollars in silver. It was finally determined that one among them —a clergyman of their peculiar religious faith—should be permitted to' return , home for the purpose of raising the amount of the ransom. After an absence he returned 'to Richmond, and paid over to the rebel gov ernment twenty-two thousand five hundred dollars iu hard Siker for the ransom of the larger portion. of his friends. The un fortunate who could not raise the money were detailed to do duty among the negro team sters. MARRIAGES OF BLOOD RELATIVES.,—The Commou'ircalth of illassaclidsetts, desired, feif years since, to ascertain the number, of idiots in the State, with a view to, arrange ments for their welfare, as well as to estab lish the statistics of the case. The Legisla-. 41re-sent oat a CommissiOnlof Inquiry, and the report of the,conimissiOn lies before us. One passage, page 90, .gives, "the statistic's ofievcuteen families, the heads of which be ing blood Mollies, intermarried," which he . had occasion to . inquire about in the dis charge of his conimusaiiiti:: Ninety-five Ail % dren .were, the lanes' of these:seventeen mar riages. Of the ninetylie Children, one Was a dwarf, _one was_ deaf, twelve others were scrofulous. and puny and forty r four were idiots.. -Fano : A.orwerfi , turn iiiisalts enough and no dm sidgration,qf,Ont:txneni, custom, or prejudme should drown her voiCe. NAKI I truth' -Ireditable slttd shildreu: will believe it;' quake gooduess .JovAly- iked,they will lore t make lolijiidei theocrat Awl they. mill be. _glad fait; but, rewind. thAwkof them, ,selvs- by tbre4treor.>:,etko4Aplivie, mial imp it the tb 'ree' Otkaiet.ueepieHeiioult q trtie4. lioes— r tyeur words peeevier. i~toiu , my to be tiorptieei. o rebel t go a aqua , ISPARATION. BY 4: EDWARD -NEEL A heigho—unfelt can know the pangs Which pierce the innocent soul, Or tell with what o'erwhelining force• The waves of sorrow roll ; . , - When, from the hearelLendearod embrace Its second self, is , torn. By ruthless death's unsparing hind. Made desolate—forlorn No wonder our mind oft reverts To where our kindred- dwell; No wonder that our tears should fall When 'called to say—Failevrem,. The Puts in Heart. '.Blessed are the pure in , heart, ee God:' LM ir. 6 THE spring of everlastin g life is within.-- There are clear streams gus hing up from the depths of the soul, awl flowing out to enliv en the sphere of Outward existence. But like the waters of Siloah, they "go softly." You must listen to catch the silver tones:of the little4ill as it glides from its mountain home; you may not witness its silent march %through the green vale, but its course will be seen in the fresh verdure and the opening flowers; its presence will be known by the forms of life and beauty that gather around it. It is ever thus with the pure. You may not hear the "still small voice" or heed the silent aspiration; but there is a moral influ ence and a holy power which you will feel. The wilderness is made to smile, flowers of new life and beauty spring up and flourish, while an invisible presence breathes humor tal fragrance through the spiritual atmos phere. True Self,dovernment. An eloquent and popular lecturer gives utterance to this eternal truth: "Men need governments of restraint, just in proportion to the degree in which they are nut develop ed and free. As the individual becomes ed ucated and, strong in his whole nature, mor al and intellectual, he needs no government. For God made the human soul sufficient for all its own exigencies. it is a perfect state.• one will deny that there` are individuals so highly developed that they do not need the restraints o f artificial government. This conceded, and the possibility of all men reaching the same standard is demonstrated —for the principle that produces one per feet specimen must be potent to produce many, and its rare mani°estation in the pres ent darkened State of the world, is a glorious prophecy of its future universality, when all men shall be superior to the best of to-day,_ because - the - future - will be free frotn tempta tions and corrupting influences of evil. It is easier to be upright among the righteous than to maintain one's , integrity while sur rounded by the vicious and unprincipled.— God speed the day. when every man shall be a law unto himself, and do righteously un ceasingly. SToP WORRYING.—In a social gathering It few evenings since, the conversation turn ed upon the prevalent tendency among men to fret over 'evils, whether inkaginary or real; and the subject was so impressed upon my mind as to, change many a subsequently gloomy thought into brightness and peace. A elprical friend presbnt related au incident in-Ifis own experience, the moral which is too valuable to be lost to the public. At a celebrated watering place he met a lady who seemed hovering on 'the brink of the grave. Her cheeks were hollow and wan, her manner listless, her step languid, and her brow wore the severe contraction indicative both of mental and physical suffer., in.., so that to all o •• : s-an-ob-- pet of sincerest pity. _ _ _ ' Some years afterwards he encountered the same lady, but so bright, and fresh, and youthful, so full of healthful buoyancy, and . so joyous in expression, that he questioned himself if he was deceived with regard to i dentity. "Is it possible," said he, "that I see be fore me Mrs. 8., who'presented suck a dole ful appearance at the springs a few years since?' "The same." "And pray tell me, madam, the secret of your cure. Whit means did you use to at tain to such vigor of Mind- and -body—to such cheerfulness and .rejuvenationV' "A most simple remedy," returned she, with a beaming face. "r stopped worrying and began to laugh—thal wasull." CO'AING THE' SPREAD EAGLE: When the, bill for the ,proteition of the bald eagle, commonly called the American. Eagle, came up in the. Ilonie_ef 'Rep'resetitatives.' on its third 'reading. on Monday; Mr. - .Severeuce, the author yF the bilk.arese inits defence, and addressed : 4h° house. as, follows:—"Mr. -Speaker, 1 have, onlito.,,say, ,that any man who will injure' titled' array the life of : our Taiionnl bird, is,mcan • enough to car ry rotten ;sardines in t=ie .same .pocket With Musty, fine-cut tobacco, and pass the same a=round on the ace of spades at the-commu nion tabte'Or would=omptylhe Caitteen'Of a rebel : pristiner,,,andiiit upon it, and whistle Confederate. air -thrOugh..kh e keyhole_ of Wagiinp.,ieri!ti - tomb' the bill of paSsea' - •'•'-‘ - szo=2 DOCTOR gni* of Edinburgh, was.foud, of a good thing-, it' ,r, out of his- praptiee, Siumbling into a church. one day, while th.. sennnttAvoxin P.l' o 4,l:e B 4, l lpiQuod thO.prpaeher in t„callS he ; poured out, words, pot4noughpr, upon hiti "What niakea'hini weep?". asked D. Girth' of one'standing'ileir hint.% .13y, .awl you wouldjroploxif yinu wero in his phiee,,and had fur littlo.to vas FAY, flot Itila,d,glikge. to pow_ - 80:quAiquitieei-.re t 6004 .for 7,l g V Foi ; , " , sinee the report pi! the tot billipubliihed was given to the public, BOyeral tiew;ame,nd. inetitS have been ale• to it as . For kissing a - pretty girt $l.OO. For kissing a homely one, $2.80. - -41te,ev - (iitnount being added,,probably as a pun ishment for the man's rolly. For Aissing one another, Ten Dollqrs— the tax is placed at this rate in order to break up the custom altogether. • It being regarded by our M. C'El as a piece of inexcu sable absurdity. For every flirtation, 10 eta. Every • oung nian who has more thati one' °curl" i; -; 11. for they, shall For tour ing in the kitchen; 25 cts.. Courting in the sitting room, 50 cts. Courting in the - parlor, $l.OO. Courting in a romantic place, $5.00, and 50 eta. for each offence thereafter. Seem a lady home from church, 25 eta for each offence.. • Seeing her home from the dime society, 5 cents—the proceeds to be appropriated to the relief of disabled army chaplains. From a lady who paints 50 cents. For wearing low necked dresps For each curl on a lady's head above ten, five cot ts. For every unfair device for entrap`ping young . men..into the sin of matrimony, $5..00. For wearing hoops larger thari ten feet iu ejrcumference, 8 cents for each hoop. Old bachelors over' thirty are taker' $lO,OOO. Over forty WO,OO. Over fifty, $50.00, and sentenced to ban ishment to Utah. Each pretty lady is to be taxed from 25 ets—to $25.00, she to fix the estimate on her own beauty. It is thought that a very large amount wilt be realized from this provision. Each boy baby, 50 cents. Each girl baby, 10 mints. Families having_ more than eight babies are not to be taxed. The nos got to Speaker of the Vermont Legislature, an elegant man, and given to gallantry,. face tiously opposed a. woman's rights bill. The "strong minded lady" who was engflieering the measure, foldbd a. flannel petticoat in a paper, and sent it to the Speaker by the• page, purposing t o enjoy his discomfiture , front her' seat in the gallery. When the garment was Unfolded on the desk there was a sensation. Raising the garment in his xigLt hand, and smiling• complacently, the _Speaket_spoke, "gentleman, I have received many flattering attentions from the fair sex, but never before so pleasing a compliment as this. It is indeed a beautiful gift. And what enhances the delicmy of the donation the name of the fair donor is concealed., Ah, the darling ! she knew that I would recog e petticoat." THE WRY THEY ao.—The Newbury-port Herald reminds user facts calculated to dimin ish individual consequence• A thousand millions of people averaging. only the-age of thirty years, requires 01;000 to die every day, or one in every second of time, and as many to be born to keep the number good. Half of those born disappear before they come tor maturity, as half the blossoms on a tree will fall worthles's to the ground, but six in a hundred live to be sixty years old: btit one in 500 reaches eighty, and but one in 1000 one.hundred. . l'fiust..—The odor of musk is wonderfully enduring. When Justinian, in - 538, rebuilt what Is now the mosque of St. Sophia, the mortar was charged with musk, and to this very day the atmosphere is filled with the dor. More than a thousand' Of years! And yet the fragrance of noble deeds lasts longer still. , The •words Ruth • said on that distant day—"where thou goest, I will go,"—will be remembered when the perfumed mortar of St. Joseph is scentless sand. 'George the First, on a journey to. Hano ver, stopped at a village in Holland, and while tho, horses were getting ready ', he ask ed for two or three eggs, which were brought , him, and was charged two. hundred florins. - 'now is that?' said - the majesty, .'eggw must be very. scarce in this ,place.' . Pardon me,' said the host, 'eggs are plea ty 'enough, but king are scarce?' The king smiled,and ordered the . money to be paid. Gen. Sigel, who has been quite ill for Foene time in St. Louis, is so far recovered as to:Ile able -to take the ,field:lt is'report that Ben., McCulloch ,., durin g the, battle at Pea Ridge; Selected thirty, maricsniei from the,ranks of hia ,sharp-shooters and directed them to bring .down the Dutchman.',' Buralthougli Sigel eonstantly eipoSed him self to their aim, they:eouid not hit him. .adies., prepare an , es trome , ebange.of ah it !;:for the Paris coirespeadeet .says the la.: dies air,e,eotidag-aut . without 'hairs, bistles, wadding; aifythiog also. e ; A ltlisSisloppt ,paper .suggesta. that the rebels, instead of - destroying their cotton s - 'dean. hid ion the approach-vf theTOdetal tynops." apprehend, that tilLthe p3ttoti hiddpn-suemsefully from ,"thorOugh searehes of our boyil will be thatlidden by the ladies. •The•salt ei3nreCti gravy ,dieaaftd. , :' Lot's would brit aev.W.Y.7l.ve cents alkx , l4o; thPre:.•:r4el }tittkt -fiega,r taewould lio deomed - a c eeaeouolle. : prise:` . ;•,•-• ...,.. , The grand ense4piati-nlo happini world are etnnotkinfg‘to - do - tiometb) ainnithinetoliiverrefi f j ifq,,t4t 4 Psr,AllfittOgirki4lk ,141 1 .1.1)tittlirree)( 1 019 1 1 1 ?;lit :17t • ' The Tax-silL• Ming " , *lll;glifellftr Irefir . ; :,1 7 a..tatteeilpg0--own 'To makes geed ' , gardoe;' ,- :.' , get good Rifer' ;.:: -,!: 1.: • • Itla said that' :a ' • ithin twose'conds.!,,;-:i. : .Was a real stingy min ever knOivicti give. ajoke? ; If you want to kiss• a pretty:g4 why, kidd her—if you can.,, If a- pretty ,girl' atite to kiss you, why let her- 7 ' llke a mau, . • . 16. • • AREETIG--"MtW portrait of Mier torn?' ; ' asked .a oheinirof three summers ."No Why , do you:mkt!: ‘. "Why, this inorning,ho said,dammy pie 7, thief.' ; " . • A wan who had --established ;101464 house; was about to erect his sign, and re quested his neighbor's advice -as to the in scription The man raged, I adyise'yOu : to, Write on it, "Pegros The keeper of si groggem-alias ode S fall, happened one day to break ~ one of his:tum blers. lie stood f o r a nrinent looking, at,,.- the fragments, refieethigAiii his 150, and thoroo- - - --- turning to his 'assistant; 'he age's' otit;: - - put a quart of water in that old. A downeaster has just perfected an instru:' latent to learn babies to walk.. A gtachiwe. Co learn babies to talk Is under way. , A popular quack adverthies to cure "sick': and unhappy trives.'.! , Why not intent. something to restore seelding, ones into a good humor?' A cienius out west has just incentetla apw artieg—"portable earthquakes for the Oro teetion of person and property." By touch ing a spring you let loose a kick that licks a threshingtuachine iu about five relay. - . It is said there arepeoPle ' in the taiu District" of Kentucky; Flo green that they -followed . a wagon which. happened Ao pass that way, twenty miles, just : to, whether the. hind wheels would overtake the, front ones: ' ' ' ' If your mother's mother waamylnotheed aunt, what relation-would • your, / great grand father"s nephew be to my eider brother's son-inLlaw. _ The individual who has been seen by the eye of a . potato has never been visible. num may possibly disedver Was there nough to be An elephant once nearly killed aulrish man for an insult offered to his trunk. :Pad dy, in explanation of his temerity`; 'said 'it was impble to resist a nose you could' pill! with both kinds. A man who can crack *ri half ute after a fifty-sit ha alien on leis toes may be called excruciatingly' fumiy. - - " . „ The more women look in their glasses, ihi; • '"„ less they look in their houses. „ "Wake up, here,,aud. pay_ for your Ingo," said the Deaaoa i . as ; he,-Raged sleepy stranger with the contribution bci:. A country editor havingrecelvedjmogold dollars in advance" for his paper. Says Oatle allows. his child to play With tite`other dren, as usual. A young lady fainted tbo,other day at.the dinner table, on bearing a4ertain gallant tietc r „.l .. ,, captain remark to a lady friend beside that he,bad often been on the bosom of the ocean. It requires but little acipiiintatie6 'with the heart, to know thiit woman's first is to be handsome, and that, eonsecuintly, the readieit method of obtaining her kind ; mess is to praise her beauty. The less a man knows the *robe believe#.,,, in the supernatural wvo cver knew an ig noramus to pass au unoccupled.house oat seeing "Spirits," or a white horse with a bluehaired rider on him. . ~ .. .. . .., .. , .BEAT,Tuxs.—Afr. Baker . 7 allowed -T,lB •, an . . e r n* yesterday 'which '.,vi,as, seven , , inches .in etreinuferenee: - Can anybody 'beat titre.— Syracuse Reveille.: 'r -'' '' ' ' Certainly. , Break.-the egg, into a and beat.it with a • Therti is but one instance ot aieratin inter•-*-' (bring between man.and-wife-in their '•irp3ibs. - • 'with either safety:'or success, `son thrashed them both-, , • A• eleumap asked of his setipture.:pwili;,::... whether 'tthe _leopard could ....ehattge. -.kilt. ~ ariott ?" "To lie stire,'" ieldied Iflly, Whim,, he'gets tired of iiim spilt he goes tei ansit;iittr." -- , - , ~. • , ..., ~.::., ~1...?. . .!.- - -: i s. '"Johnny," ,said a, moille : te.a..601),:. rape, , -years. old, , "go ; and itash iii,filie:' lIM 'ashamed to see you'euuring - din'UeiWith - tiii - dirtra mot 0.2,', ',did wash4tinitimia t and ' °,feeliu4 , ilifA. A_4l , p_cr_lip,... Jle,,added:gravos.,:‘,l 2, 'think it Must ha a moustaaho-eomiugr s , • • 4:ol2their - kinitof tltesrgz*ftd": l o ll3- tilYiLAct.Akeeleline at wenree:st , ' -illetaepe ref fi# y - tpeeee.froingeikh"-cother' (64,3441 %COO*, *-thq, tkraesevitwber2.' triPikailit.P4s at _iairiAgnikeeereLi=ittietoW , thought that therewould be geeelett a UMBERIO. ..'?. II unlucky e, ili of a rivet'. 1.::".7:^5.7: : ::: , zz; ::::, .: