A MODEL WITNESS. Showed Such Ability that Even the Judge Extended Congratulations. The Opposing Counael What la your namet The Witness (appealing to the Judge) Am I obliged to answer tbla? The Judge You are. The Witness My name la Todgers. "First name?" "I decline to answer." "On what groundT" "It would be construed Into a reflec tion on the good taste of my parents." "Where were you bornf" "I decline to anawer." WhyT" , "Because all my Information on the subject Is of the hearsay character." "But you were there at the time?" "I decline to admit It." "What la your ageT" "Before answering I deftlre to con sult with my attorneys." "What Is your ostensible business?" "I do not remember." "Are you In any way connected with the Ramrod Trust?" "I do not remember." "What is Its capitalisation?" "I do not remember." "What is your salary?" "I do not remember." "Are you married?" "I do not remember." The Judge The hearing will now be adjourned until ten o'clock to-mor row morning. And I want to congratu late the opposing counsel on the marked progreaa they have made In advancing the case. HA8 NUMEROUS SUBJECTS. Census Taker Are you subject to any sovereign or potentate? Muldoon No, sorr; Ol'm subject to nothln' but malaria! Cool and Correct. Professor Robert Herrick, of the University of Chicago, dosired to point out to a young sonneteer the difference between the words "aston ish" and "surprise." "Noah Webster," Professor Herrick said, "was once caught by his wife In the act of pressing the hand of the pretty cook. "The cook, blushing like a rose, fled at once to her kitchen. Mrs. Webster said In a sad, tremulous voice: " 'Why, Noah, I am surprised.' "But the philologist looked from over his glasses at his wife and an swered reprovingly: '"Madam, you have not studied our glorious language aa you should. It's I who am surprised. You are aston Ished.' " Not Caught Up. A man who was traveling the Ozark mountains on horseback Btopped he fore a typical Arkansas farmhouse to Inquire the way. "What's the news?" asked the mountaineer, as be leaned his lank frame against the fence and pulled his long beard thoughtfully. On finding that what had become a part of history was news to him, the traveler asked why be did not take some weekly or monthly periodical, that he might keep In touch with the world at large. "Wal," said the old native, '"when my pa died, nine years ago, be left me a stack of newspapers that high" Indicating a height of about three feet "and I ain't done readln' of 'em yet." Soft Landing. -It was In 1920 and tramps were riding on the bumpers of airships. "Boss," said the dusty pilgrim of the clouds, "of yer must t'row me off, would yer mind doing me one fswor?" "And wbat is that?" asked' the aerial brakeman, gruffly. "Why, drop me down on top of dat farmhouse shed where all dem rows of apple pies are cooling." A Fatal Squint. A woman with a fatal squint came to a fashionable portrait painter. lie looked at ber and she looked at him, and both were embarrassed, lie spoke first "won't you permit me," he said, "to take your portrait h profile? There la a certain ahyneas about one of your eyes which la aa difficult in art as it Is fastinatlng In nature." From the Depths. "Now, Johnny' asked the gentle man, who has kindly consented to teach tie class, "what does this fas cluatlag story of Jonah and the whale teach us?" "It teaches us," said Johnny, "that you cannot keep a good man down." Gossip's Surprise. "I heard somebody say something about Bell Smith yesterday." "Oh, fine! What?" "Nothing bad enough to repeat dear." First Boarder What kind of duck la this, Jim? Canvas bark? Bucond Boarder Mock duck. Derivation of Money. The word "niouey" is derived from "mor.eta," a came given by the Ro mans to their silver pieces, because coined In a building on tile t'apltollne 11111 attached to the temple of Jupiter tloneta. The officer in charge of the ntint were called triumviri mouteales, and Nlebuhr thinks that they were In troduced at the time when the Romans firm began to coin silver. ctr: liis Destined Hour ' Along the vernnda. like a guilty wretch, John Arden crept. The cur tain was ralBed a little and through the interstice a pleasant scene revr di ed Itself. Yes, they were all there, aa he bad pictured to his Jealous soul many a time In the (ar away land from whence he hnd come. Ruth, his wife, their child, his rhal, Dan Weston, and the bnby on his knee. He had known how It wo.Md be. Soon as he was forgotten we. 1- He turned away the 1I(;!ih In-ida dazzled him, and sight of the harpy group in the cosey little sitting 100:11 somehow clutched hl6 heart with con firmation of the horrible dread he had nurtured for years. It 'whs dark outside dark anrl hit terly cold. A wicked curse Just iivm- i)led on his tonptto, then died, over whelmed by the wave of self-condemnation thnt swept his soul. Hack Inta the night he Bped, back, back to i!ic dimly lighted streets of the little vil lage that had been his home bo lovg ago. At the door of the vIIHro store and postomce he halted. Not one of the group recognized In the jiHlr'.i'-' aged, bearded, sun-burned man, tii-j John Ardeo they had known as a slender, youthfuV fellow, too enro'pi and happy go lucky for his own good "Can you tell me; friends," he c.iu.d crispy, "when 1 can get a train to Boston ?" "Not to-night." The reply r?" u from the sturdy storekeeper. "I.'-) trains go after 6 o'clock. You'll hv to put up for the night." Curiosity Impelled him to step in side. He wanted to know how it had fared with all his old friends Dime last he saw them. He walked oer to the stove and held out bis hands to the grateful warmth. "Stranger In these parts?" The storekeeper eyed the elesunce of his attire askance. "Yes," briefly. "What might your business be?" "Planter In Bermuda. Here for a little vacation. I used to be acquaint ed some around here." "What might your name be?" "John Smith." A funny twinklo In his eye warned the genial storelieei -er of the limitations of curiosity ami he became Instantly a reservoir o. volubility for the stranger's benetlt. "Anyone in particular you remeu;- ber?" "Well lust a few. You, for In stance, and Squire Mason, and a few others. I Bay, who lives In that old fashioned house, brick with grecj blinds. Just down the street from here?" "That? Oh, that's the old Wal'nn place. Dan Weston 'n his family It v Ing there now. Married one of tiu Walton girls, you know." The stranc er smiled ruminntlvely. "Yes. Wasn't there a fellow by tin name of Arden who used to han;.. around there some If I remenilu-i rightly?" "Yes. A shiftless, no good crl'.te" Tried first oue thing and then another, Never made good at anything. H married one of the Walton girls, was:, ed the money her father left her, I. wildcat schemes, and Anally was bum ed up In a theatre, out West some where." "Indeed!" The stranger smiled s little. "Good way to dispose of a bai penny. And bis widow, with care leBS Interest, "she married again didn't she?" "Oh, no." The storekeeper chewed prune reflectively. "That's the fr.n ny part of It. Much as he robbed he of, shiftless and wasteful aa he wan she never lost faith in him. S thought he was perfect, and slw mourns him yet She lives on." there," Jerking a sticky thumb bacli ward, "with her sister and Djin We ton. In the 01a place, un, no, sh didn't marry. I say, stranger!" But John Arden was half way dowi the street on his way to tell her, win had been faithful, that he still lived that he had dropped out of sight, aftci the great tire, because the sight of hi name In the list of missing hal in spired him with an easy solution the difficulties Into which he had In volved the girl who loved h'.n through mismanagement and 111 luck Then, too, he had been Jealous Ira oua of Dan Weston, his more prosper ous rival, and he had meant to 1 dead to her, to allow her to be happ where she loved. Now all thnt wa changed. He was hurrying down th narrow little street Just to tell he how he had Bucceeded In the far awn country that it was all hers, that he faithfulness should be rewarded h the devotion of the remainder of hi life to hers. On the veranda he paused. Throng the Interstice of the raised curtain h regarded the little group throi'g changed eyes. Then, "(iod bless the all," he murmured, as he pressed th tiny electric button. Hurrying feet came down the r. a flood of released light engulfed Mm her eyes met his, and henceforth th was no darkness for him, anywhere I the wide world, only the radiance o: her eyes her smile. MISS A. PRATT. To enable airship pilots to hol their course the Imperial Observator at WUhelmshaven has bad devised h Dr. Billlnger a "duplex compass. which Is described as a "delicate 1ml! cator of the horizontal Intensity of th eartfi's magnetism at any point" Ob servatlons with the Blmple needle an difficult, because of the whirling mr. tlons of balloons running before th wind. The duplex Is not affected Lj these and other motions usual to bal loon ships. Temptations of Evil. Leisure misused, an Idle hour watt ing to be employed. Idle hands with no occupation, Idle and empty minds with nothing to tblnk of these are the main temptations of evil. Fill up that empty void, employ those vacant hours, occupy those listless hands, and evil will depart because it baa n place to enter in, because It is cot quered by ood.Cean Stanley. ACCOMMODATING NIOHT CLIKK. TJp to the night clerk's desk goes Abe Perlmutter, a Chicago traveling man. "I wonder," he Bays, "could you find me somebody to play a game of penuchle for an hour or two to-nlg'n? ' "Why." says the clerk, "I guess so. nd he runs his eyes over the reg st'r. Boy," he calls, "page Mr. U'twlillg." Before long Mr. OutwilHg is round and Introduced to the penuchle hungry Perlmutter, and a game Is arranged. How did you know I played penucble?" Mr. Oiitwillig asks the clerk. "Oh" begins the clerk. Just then emerges from the bar a young man, triple-piled with wine. He staj geis up to the desk and says. "Shny, wanna fight! D ye hear? I in look 1' f'r a scrap!" Thus the clerk, "Boy, page Mr. Kelly and Mr. O'Brien." 1 Topty Turvey. The plaintiff hud been Btriick by sn automobllo, which had hurried on without Btopping. but as he managed to catch the number of the car he had the owner summoned to court. The defendant claimed that his car had not been out of the garage on the day In question. "If you were struck and thrown up the air, as yon claim, how could you make out the number before the car got out of sight ?" he ssked. I caught a glimpse of It Just as I came down," answered the plaintiff. Ha. ha!" laughed the defendant, turning to the Judge. "I see how the mistake was made. The number of my car Is 668. This man was stand ing on his head at the time. The number of the car that struck him Is H99." Asking Too f'i'Ch. The mother of little six-year-old Mary had told her a number of times nut to hitch her sled to passing sleighs, feeling that It was a danger ous practice. It was s'ich a fascinating sport, however, that Mary could not resist It, find one day her' mother saw her go BkimiTi'.ng pav,t the house be hind a farmer's "hob." When she came in from play she was taken to tnst:, hrr trother say ing severely, "Mary, hve-a t I to;d you that you must not hitch onto bob3? Besides, you know It Is against the law." Mary tossed her head. "Oh," she said, "don't talk to ire about the law. It's all 1 can do to keep the Ten Com mandments!" A Human Choice. A conscientious Sunday school teacher had been endeavoring to Im press upon her pupils the ultimate tri umph of "goodness over beauty. At the close of a story In which she flat- teied herself that this point hnd been well established, she turned confident ly to a 10-year-old pupil and Inquired: And now. Alice, which would you rather be, beautiful or good?" "Well," replied Alice, after a mo ment's reflection, "I think I'd ratber be beautiful and repent." WHY, CERTAINLY NOT. "What's the next train to Squee duck?" "Twelve o'clock." "Un't there one before that?" "No; we never run one before the next" Just a Little Exercise. The elevator conductor of a tall of fice buildtng, noticing that the colored Janitor had ridden up with him sev eral times that morning, remarked: "Sam, this is the fifth time I have tnk en you up, but' you have not come down with me." "Well, you see.'" Sam replied, "Ah been waahln' win dows on de 'leventb floor and every now and agin' Ah mises man hold and falls out." School of Experience, Joynes I tell you. Singleton, you don't know the Joys and felicities of a contented, married life, the happy flight of years, the long, restful calm of Singleton How long have you been married? Joynti Just a month. "So your wife Is a suffragette?" "Yes," answered Mr. .Meckton. "Why does she want to vote?" "I don't think Henrietta really de sires to vote. She's merely tired of talking to me. SJie wants a larger and more Intelligent audience." Not the Same. Mrs. Riverside Do you like Nazi mova? Neurlch Well, ma'am, I never eat any of these new-tangled bieakfasl foods, so I can't aay. The Real Struggle. "I suprcse, now that you are mar ried and settled down, life is a strug gle for bread." "Not exactly. It's more of a Strug gle with bread " In the Last Analysis. "Pop!" "Yes, my son." "What Is an ultimate consumer?" "Oh, the ultimate consumer, my boy, is the one that ge:s the hash." Once. Strangvr Did you ever reveal yrjr fishing hole to a friend. Angler Once I did to a friend oa his deathbed. 'ci,., , ., ac-.: ...arrr-rrrac Fluffy " g . 11 ; Fluffy stole illcntly alcng the ten of the board f. nee until chc waa over : 10 Ilttlo fihanty where tho curling! e:-as were kept. T'-en she crourhej do .n to listen, fear'vlly, while the dis e '1 cd pupil of livr eyes glov-od h-ly it and round In the moonlight, uni ! - r toft, do vny f-:r failed to conceal t .e gauninesa of her lank s'tlos. After a r.'on:ent Fluffy droni ej I'ghtly to the top of the s'lan y, a;.d then paused daintily. The odor of the garbage cans was overpnweriiis;, and the bond:; were wet with dev. She raised one little pink paw I then. the other, to stand on three fct and consider tlio situation. There was the Montgomery's back yard, sir ho-ises down the aventie. b't thnt meant p.'ss'ug where that aw Ml dog livf d. Yet r.here wm'e lovely, h'-n-gry smells from that direction. Ai d FlufTy felt perfectly sn"o thit If she only dared vcutrre down the dink areaway and across the avtuje 118c, f there wnl'M bo rome'.hir.g r od to et there. Perhaps even so;ue of !-:e sweet cream iu a re,,lly cicii nui'r that once - oh. such a long time n:;o! ured to be Kii-ffy's v. her,ever alio wanted It. But an empty stomach Is Its own sauce, and at lost nuy r ipped to the ground and proceeded to d'na from the tliiiiKJ iali'.s -Mnl H.-etaVors had thrown away. For Fii.ffy w.-s hun gry. She had fttrlod lor t .- o be cause someone h:id been car-'ul enough the n'ght before to put the covers on Ihe cans. It was not at all an eppetlslng foist., and It was not long before luly had enough and ws bcK on the leY.ce. Thio.igh the. w'..o!e ot her dainty, dirt- hating, cle".n'.lnpai:-lov!cg dUf osit on Fin fty longed to sit first riosvn thou and there and perform her toilet, but that would not be rMe. mi :.he t-ore.' along the fence top to t'-ie corner, and then to tho hulkherd. The lust le v feet were a d i3h 1j n fi t ay of feir. Just as a child Will wall slowly through a dark room and then run desperately when near the d.mr. Through the tiny lio'e FluiTy slip ped, into the little hollow next the damp eart4i, where she had made be; home for, oh, such a long, weary time! . There was one pleasure left In life. Fluffy could dream of those happy days as she sat with half-closed eye4 and delicately washed her face and combed her fur. It used to be such fun to do this, more like play than a duty but now Fluffy had to pause every few minutes to rest. That was partly becaute of the lit tle silver collar of which Fluffy was onre so proud. On It waa engraved "To Fluffy from Alice." Alice was Fji ffy's mistress. It seemed such long time since everyone had been running around, putting things In botes and trunks, and then Flui.y had been put out of doors and everyone had gone away. It must be a mistake somehow. Per haps Fluffy was only dreaming, and soon she would wake and find herself In Mistress Alice's lap. But Just then Fluffy did wake, and she was on the damp ground. There were some aw (ill rumbles and crashes over her head, and In an agony of fear Fluffy d.ished out through the little bole and re awy. It was a blight day out side, and some men In a team wore putting big blnck rocks lnlo a long thing, down which they rumbled and clattered into the basement of th house. Fluffy didn't stop to watch. With her tall standing up straight and every bit of the soft fluffy fur for which she was named, ruffled, she raceii down the walk to the avenue. Not until she wa In the middle of the avmuo Itsel d'd Fluffy pause, and then It was the hoarse bark of an automobile horn that made her crouch down, too pura lrd by fear to move. The brakes ground onto the axles, but It was too late: at last Fluffy ha J found peice. In another moment the only occu pant f the heavy touring car, a clean cut, level-eyed young man, had sprung out and ran back to the pitiful little huddle la the roadway. "Poor little pussy," he said, and then when he saw the soft fur anl gaunt sides he muttered: "I don't know, though; I guess It's lucky pus sy. The old story, a pampered pe through the winter and then Its mis tress gone away to enjoy the summe and leaves the erstwhile pet to starve. Hang It! a girl like that Is not fit for any mau's wife." Then he gave an exclamation of surprise as he noticed the little sliver collar. In another instant the man In the roadway had caught up the broken, pitifully thin little body and read. "To Fluffy from Alice." "Fluffy! Alice!" he gasped. "Alice like that!" Then his face hardened. "Well, I'm glad I knew In time," he said and with a sudden impulse tenderly laid the lit tle body on the cushioned seat In th tonneau and covered It gently with the dust robe. "Fluffy shall be properly burled. anyway," he said as be climbed into his seat and released the brake and threw in the clutch. But flrs he slowly drew a letter stamped and ready for the post, from his pocket, tore It up and dropped th pieces In the dust MABEL ft CAD THOMPSON. Humorist's Wife John. Its so sweet of you to ask dear mat her here to visit Humorist Yes you see the fact Is Mar'e. I've about run out of mother In law's Jokes, and Curing a Cynic. The best wav to cure a cynic Is to (ell him the truth. Nine times out of ten he will bac! Jowu and say he doesn't believe things are as bad as that. Woman's Instinct "He has succeeded ever since b took hit wife Into the business." "Yes: the first thing the did was to take the was-, ai mall a possible. PREPARED., Witness Was Forehanded and th Lawyer Accepted Defeat. I ' The propensity of some lawyer to ask witnesses questions not only Irre levant but bordering on the absurd must have been known to a humorous fellow called as a witness In a Buffalo court recently. His testimony had been clear and direct the entire case was simple. In tact but the lawyer do ing the cross-examination began an apparently endless string of ques-1 tlons. "Now, exactly how far were you from the post to which the horse waa hitched remember, you are on your oath!" "Nineteen feet, seven and three- quarter Inches," the witness respond ed promptly. You seem very sure of the exact distance." tho lawyer sneered. "How do you know yo-i wore Just that dis tance from tho r-o-t?" Well," the witnn.-.s replied In a good-natured tone, "knowing that I'd be called as a witness In this case, and thinking it likely some fool lawyer would ask me Just that question, I measured It" Step down!" the lawyer growled. A MISUNDERSTANDING. 5ff Fond Mother To be quite f-Rnlc, doctor, the poor girl has been e -ling her heart out Brusque Old Physlelnn Ha! When will young people learn to eat pru dently? Church and Stable. The new clergyman In a l'ttla Southern town wsb an elderly an1 un sophisticated man, Ignorant of ths fact that among his flock- were man horse-ralsoi-s. At the request of one of his deacons, prayers .were offerel on three successive Sundays for Lucy Gray. On the fourth Sunday he was told that the prayers might be o.nl ted. "She Is not deal, I hope," raid the clergyman. "No," was the riply; "she has won." He Returned It. "And so you have qusrreled "'U'l your girl, nnd It Is all off?" asked Aud- erson of Gray. 'Yes, she Iisb sent back all my presents. But I got even with he. bad no presents to return, so I rent her a half dozen boxes of face po der, with a note explaining that I'd ti.'.ten about thnt much home on my coat since 1 had known her." Just a Theory. ProfosBor Suppose an Irresls ibli force encountered an Immovable bJy, what would be the result? Student I don't know exactly, but I Imagine It would be something like the meeting of two rival Arctic plorers. Frills. Mrs. Crabshaw The new girl have said she had taken a course in domestic Br'nce. Mrs. Crawford Is she dlfferen' from the other girls you had? Mrs. Crabshaw Only In one wr.y she wanted five dollars a month more. A Will and A Way. The law class was studying wills. "Young gentlemen," said the In structor, "I will give you one maxim that every lawyer needa, 'Whore there's a will there's a way' to break It" Class dismissed. C. Q. D. Wantod A young gentleman on Uie point OI ujarryiui; n luvmjr g i Is most desirous of meeting with man of experience who will take tho responsibility of dissuading him fro: this dangerous step. Cause for Surprise. Belle Mr. Hugglns started to kls me last night Deu 1 ah And wcren t you s n prised ? Belle I should say I was. He did do itl A Fair Offer. Cook And ses I, "I think I'll flu another Job." Friend What did the missus sa Cook Sbe ses, "Bedad an' OI' give you twenty-five dollars when ye lave If yes don't go!" Brooklyn Life Valuable Collateral. Dyer How long hare you bad your butler? Hyei- Twenty-fiva years. Dyer Where did you get him? Ryer From the Duke de Broke as security for a loan. He Knew the Facte. The Btranger (triumphantly) Four acea, old son. Bhufnlng Pet (gloomily) All right; take the mosey. But IU be shot If that was the hand I dealt you.' A Test for Eyeelght. An Interesting test for eyesight may be bad by observing Ursa Major the Great Bear on a clear starlit night Not everyone Is aware that Miiar, the second star In the constel lation. Is a double star. To observe this doublet demands good vision. Boxe starry night look up to the sky and see If you caa dlscera It .11 you do ses It you caa rest content la Us knowledge that your ayealght li got 4tevUve, Tho 1 New t .1 is the most thor oughly practical, helpful, useful and entertaining, national illustrat ed agricultural & family weekly in the United States. York Trihnnfi 1 Farmer PRICE, ONE DOLLAR A Send your name for free sample copy to Now York Tribune Farmer TRIBUNE BUILO O New York v. ty. PIKE COUNTY PRESS .SI.50 A YEAR JOB PRINTING. Letter Heads, Cards Posters, Statements Dill Haads, Envelopes Circulars, Etc., Etc. NEATLY DONE n :ii TRADE-MARKS piunii.ny ohutiutd til ll oountttwa, or no fua. obtain PATENTS THAT PAY- lTmittban UwiroogiilT, aU our snM, and help you to wccom. SeodmodaL photo or kotcb for Wmtt report on ptoaUlltjr. W jeni-i practJco. (UR PASSlNa REFERENCES. For'rtUuUio Book on Prontfthle t'Atuta wtitn to k03-0S Seventh Btraat, WAilNPTQN, r. c Caveats, mod Trade-M it k obtained a-d all Pat-' entbusiacMetaductetHor MODEftftTC Fees. iOt'ROrricciOPtOBircU,0. Pt -HTOrriet ; lat4weClDWCU- paU-lltlU lUM IbAA U-OftC , re. oto from Vitunetua. , Scad model, dr.iwiug or photo., with detcrtp- ; 1 1 Ion. We advise, if paten tabla or nut. fr.e ot , barge. Our fee not due Uil oalent la secured. m A PaMPMLCT, l0 to Obtain rtcuu." wlth vt iaue in the U b. una lorruga cv(ntS sent free. Atldress, C.A.SNOW&CO. Of.. OrriCC. WHlflOTOrt. D C Physicians have long been look in? for a harmless headaohn onre. It tins been produced by an eminent chemist of the National (Capital. It is knon as Buomo Pkimin. Bestbea cm int. every form of headache 0antly, Bromo Pepsin is equally and ai promptly efficacious iu chronic and aaute indigestion and the nervous disorders incident there o. It is efferoscent and pleasant to take and may be had of all up to date druggists at ten cents a battle. It comes as boon to mankind am. womankind. For sals at C. O. Armstrong, Druggist. 60)rt6)6Sat64ft4 ' NOTICE. The Conimiseoners of Pike County will hereafter hold Regular Meeting!' he 1st Thursday of eiK-h inn. between the hours of 9 a. m. and 4 r. 111. except ins In the months when Court may be in session, and then during Court THKO. II. BAKEH Cuiinulsal -nera Clerk absolutely HarailtM. Curst ts at Spot BR0M0-PEPS1N Xote the Word Pepsla" CURES HEADACHE, S EEPUSSNESS INDIGESTION 6 NERVOUSNESS AM Druggists 100, a aa a too. for tale by C. O. Akmstiuino, Drugglm WANTS SUPPLIED ! 1 If yon want note boads. bill hi-ads, lette heads, statements, show cards, progra ns large posters, sale blllt, dodger envelupos togs business cards or job printing every description, doue up in the bet styl foi you in an up-to-date Mnd artlstio ma i neronJlsnd see us. Prions? PRESS PRINT. J. C. CHAMBERLAIN Real Estate Agent. House end Lots and lota without Hons Dcaier In all kinds of Property. fiotary Public ALL BUSINESS GIVEN PROMPT ATTENTION Office at Residence on Water Street. A in 'i r Doth U these papers p one I, year f for b only i YEAR N. Y. Time Table ERIE RAILROAD. fi T PORT JERVI3 tolld Pullmn trains to Buffalo, Nla an Fallc, Chautauqua Laks, Clerdaod Chicago aud Cincinnati. Tickets on tale at Port J all poloti In the Wert and Snnthweatat lowat rati than via any other first-olaas llae. In cfftxjt June 21th, 1908. Thains Now Lkavs Pokt Jkrvis a Follows. B I P V t " 48, Dolly 4 if " 0 Ually Kxpress t 40 " W, Loonl Ezoopt Sunday.. 10 " 41 Holfduya only a so . No 8, Dnl'iy Kznreaa s &4 1. u ' 70S!, Way 8undy Only Ml " " 43, Local oeitSun a Hol T IM " ' 80, IjooiU Kxorpt Bunday.. 10 M " 4. Dally Eipicu.... I.Mr. M. " 704. Hunday Only I to " 84. Way dnlly exo't Suad'y I ft) ' ' 9, Dally Kxpress Itl " 8, Way dally exo't flund'y l.M " " T(M. LooM Sunday Only.... T.l " WESTWARD. - No 7, Dally Express It Hi 11 " 47, Dally K ' 17 Dally Milk Train i 10 a ' I. Dally Kxpress .' It.M ' " 115, For Ho'dnleK'pt Sun.. 11. IS r. " t, Express Chicago II in dal B ' 89, Dally Except Sunday.. 4 00 4 " . Limited Dally Express. 10 06 Trains leave Chambers street, Mew York, for Port Jervls on week days at 1.80, 7 16. 15, 10 80 A. II., 1.00 100, 4 80, 0.1ft, 7.16, 9.15 18.46 r. M. On 8undtys, 7. 30, a. M 19 W). 1.16 7 80,9.16 r. M. H. L. SLArsON. Ticket At, Pt.JervIa H. W.Hawley, Dlv'n Passer. Agent. Chambers St. Station New York William B. Kenwcthay U. 0 Physician and Snrgeon. OQoe and reslditnoe Broad H treat text Court House. MILKOUI). For Rent Famished rooms to rent. Enquire of Mrs. E'-tu Poillon, Corner Broad and Ann Kiroets, Mllford, Pa. His Ailn-ert. "When n-.y husband is . In good heulth," said Mrs. Irs'.ng, "he's as cheerful and as happy as anybody; but Juat lit him eat something thnt doesn't egree with him, and every thing looks t'.ooxy. When his liver la out of order he's the worst pesky mist you ever saw." Necessity. The hostcsB Vtant, do you hav to leave at this early hour? The Gueat I'm sorry, but lt'e noo esaary. The Hostess And must you take your wife with you? The Quest Yea, ma'am; I'm aotry to aay I muat 6our Grape. "To-morrow will be n y birthday, remarked the typwrltr maid, "and I'm going to take a day off." "Huh!" sneered the bookketMer, who bad loved and lost. "Why don't you take Ave years off as you did the last time you bad a birthday?" . He Knew Where He Was Goino. The family of a Philadelphia U'tla boy were planning to move to Chicago The night before the departure, he aid bit usual prayer and ended It with: "And bow, good by, God we are going to Chicago to-rcorrow," you 5i send your order j, and p money to h The IM PRESS S Mllford, Pike j County, :3 Penn. U -
Significant historical Pennsylvania newspapers