Bs a The Dallas Post Dallas, PA Wednesday, February 5, 1997 5 Ghostwriter by Paul Rismiller - "And what is your nationality, 8 Monsieur Rick?" “I'm a drunkard.” Py - Humphrey Bogart '. Casablanca Smen to that, Bogie! I think I'll Begin referring to myself as a Diunkard-American - may as well be part of a growing demographic! » Welcome to 1997, d year George ~¥ Orwell couldn'tenvision in his most fevered dreams: At last count, a Rilaat arms smuggler, a convicted Lebanese ‘embezzler, a Chinese arms mer- chant, and a cocaine dealer have ‘attended fund-raising "coffees" at the White House. You'd think these people would have more sense than ‘to hang out with low, shady char- acters such as those in the Clinton & . administration. . hd ° Bos J. Redux - Oh Lord, will this “never end? Whatever the outcome of the ongoing jury deliberations in ‘the €ivil trial, after it's over, I pray ‘the next time I see or hear those initials linked together are in refer- "ence to fruit juice. There are only two points I can ~ .draw your attention to in the case a of Paula Jones, beyond the blatant hypocrisy of the women's move- ‘ment: ". 1).-Much has been made of Ms. Jones' "trailer-park trash" back- ground, but not many have stated the obvious - it is exactly this type ‘of woman who is the most likely to be sexually harassed. 2) Oddly enough, it is also this slice of the female population who, ‘almost to a woman, thought Anita {hk was lying through her teeth. Television has Sdophed a barely intelligible and apparently quite useless ratings system at the urg- Bubbagate and beyond; truth is stranger than Science Fiction ing of parents who can't find, or don't know how to operate the off switch. How good can a system be that gives Touched by an Angel and Married with Childrenthe same rating? ® On the local scene, we're actu- ally scraping up against the 20th century - at least on a cultural level - we have two free entertain- ment weeklies in the area. Pity the one based in Luzerne county is, to put it kindly, a waste of trees. "Tragically hip" is the phrase that springs to mind. As does "Ego-trip" (did you see the all-Sarah Starr edition a few weeks ago?). When the editor graces the front page, you've just about hit rock bottom. Besides, the horoscope is com- pletely incomprehensible! LJ And speaking of local journal- ism, someone should informa high- profile columnist, who was snivel- ing about bookies and wife-beat- ing Superbowl week, that his premise is flawed from the start. Not two weeks before, a wire-ser- vice feature on a statistical re- search firm mentioned in passing the supposed jump in domestic violence during the big game was complete bunk! But what else can you expect from someone who's stock in trade is controversy for its own sake. LJ As far as politics in N.E. Pa, what can be said? The usual sus- pects are about as subtle as a knee to the groin, and as sharp as styrofoam, but there's no arguing they are spectacularly successful in a parasitical, virus-like fashion. The more things change, the more they stay the same, at least around here. LJ And on that rather depressing note, let's flip to a far less serious, and far more fun subject, where change is what it's all about - Science Fiction! The only way to avoid the hoopla surrounding the theatrical re-re- lease (and re-cut) of Star Wars is to hole up in some forgotten air-raid shelter for a few months. All of a sudden, the reclusive creator of the saga, George Lucas, is un- avoidable on the airwaves. While I suppose it will be cool to take children who have never seen the original trilogy on the big screen; I'm more excited about the prospect of the long awaited "pre- quel” trilogy finally being started! But at the rate Lucas is moving at completing the proposed nine films, I'll be approaching social- security age by the time they're done. Warpheads won't have nearly so long to wait for "Star Trek: First Contact"to arrive on home video. If you missed it in the theater, you owe it to yourself to at least rent the video - even if you aren't a trekker, you'll enjoy this movie. With luck, Jonathan Frakes (Commander Riker) will direct the next feature as well, because he did a bang up job on this one. Another video I'm eagerly await- ing is Mars Attacks! Even with Jack Nicholson, Glenn Close, Sarah Jessica Parker, Michael J. Fox, Pierce Brosnan, Danny DeVito, Jim Brown, Tom Jones, Rod Steiger, Paul Winfield, and half a dozen other familiar faces, the wickedly funny, computer-generated Mar- tians stole the show. Mars Attacks! was a lot less se- rious (if that's possible) and far more fun than last summer's block- buster, Independence Day. Speaking of ID4, one ofit's stars, Will Smith, is co-starring with Tommy Lee Jones in Men in Black, which, if the previews do it any justice, looks like it's going to be a real hoot. Smith's co-star in ID4, Jeff Goldblum, is the only cast mem- ber to reprise his role in Jurassic Park: The Lost World, stomping its way towards a theater near you in the not too distant future. While television is, as usual, stuffed to the test pattern with dreck, Sci-Fi provides an oasis in the wasteland - from The X-Files, to it's far darker stable-mate, Mil- lennium, to lighter fare, like 3rd Rock from the Sun, and the hilari- ous spoof, Homeboys in Outer Space. My only regret is that I don't have the Sci-Fi Channel, if only to wait for the excellent and varied flavors of science fiction available today to eventually be showcased there for years to come. LETTERS Gane Commission invites scrutiny of deer tags Editor: In a letter to your paper on January 28, 1997, Mr. William Miller of Dallas alleges that the Game Commission has been pub- lishing false information regard- ing the harvest of deer and as- .serts that if the agency has noth- ing ‘to hide it should allow an ry ‘independent group to examine the deer kill reports. ‘For as long as I can remember, the Game Commission has is- lonLY YESTERDAY +60 Years Ago - Feb. 12, 1937 ‘BOARD CONSIDERS SPECIAL CLASS FOR CHILDREN A proposal to establish a spe- ‘cial class to help children who are slow to learn, with the State pay- “ing -80% of the cost of the teach- -ers, is being considered by Dallas Borough School Board. Wilkes- ‘Barre and Kingston already have “such classes which are devoted “especially to children who cannot be given proper personal atten- ) tion when they are forced to study with brighter children. As a first step in raising money to equip a local playground next summer, the PTA of Dallas Bor- ough will sponsor a card party at the borough high school on Feb. : 18. Refreshments will be serverd - and prizes will be awarded at each “table: * 50 Yeors Ago - Feb. 14, 1947 ¢ LONG OPENS NEW FARM EQUIPMENT STORE ‘Charles H. Long, one of the ., most alert young men farm equip- “ment dealers in the area will open ‘his new building at Sweet Valley -on Feb. 21. The new 64 x 80 building has an attractive Colo- _ nial ‘exterior and is located on a +high spot of ground where it can B ov ‘be seen from four main highways. Fear that Toby, German Boxer seeing eye dog, who ran from the sued a standing invitation to sportsmen’s groups to go to Har- risburg and count the report cards turned in by hunters each year. We only ask that a reservation be made so personnel will be on hand to assist. This year the Game Commission intends to have a biologist, along with all the report cards turned in by hunters, at the Game Commission's exhibit booth at the Eastern Sports Show in Harrisburg. Sportsmen are urged scene of an accident near Lehman Saturday might have lost his life during the cold weekend weather was dispelled Monday when Mrs. Grant Ashburner of Lehman found the dog near her home. She called Hugh Hewitt, the dog's blind owner after noticing the dog come re- peatedly to the scene of the Satur- day accident. Hewitt identified and claimed him that same evening. 40 Years Ago - Feb. 8, 1957 LUMBER AND COAL CO. STANDS TO LOSE MONEY Back Mountain Lumber & Coal Co. stands to lose between $300- 8400 on a coal contrct with Westmoreland schools. Atty. Rob- ert Fleming said at the Monday evening school board meeting that there is no legal redress. The contract originally contained an escalator clause to provide for in- crease in cost. Granville Sowden of Back Mountain Lumber & Coal, struck out this clause and en- tered a firm bid for the year. Board members regretfully agreed that if they ignored the contract and paid a higher price for coal than agreed upon they would be indi- vidually liablg to surcharge. You could get - Sirloin steak, 69¢ 1lb.; whole hams 59¢ Ib.; Vienna bread 17 ¢ loaf; cauliflower, 2-10 oz. pkgs. 49¢; apples, 4 Ib. bag, 49¢. 30 Years Ago - Feb. 9, 1967 RECORD LOWS AT PIKES CREEK; 42 BELOW ZERO Two times in recorded history it has been 42° below zero at Pikes - Creek, once over a century ago and once in the early 30's when PWA workers spent the frigid day keeping their fires going and ac- complishing nothing except keep- to bring along the back tag num- bers of successful hunters, who reported their kills, to verify that our records are indeed correct. Falsifying reports is a crime. If you think we're lying - we invite you to check it out!. Jack Weaver Information & Education Supervisor Northeast Region PA Game Commission ing from freezing to death. Pikes Creek hit 20° below according to Williams Grocery Store which also furnished the item about the 42° below zero reading. Despite the weather with an incipient snowstorm getting up steam and glazing highways last Friday, the Open House, staged by Luzerne County Soil Survey Unit at the Dallas Post Office drew a large number of people from a considerable distance. Residents stomped in, agreed the weather was lousy, viewed their acreage through the stereoscope which showed everything in the round and compared notes on farm ponds. 20 Years Ago - Feb. 10, 1973 STELTZ RECEIVES INFO ON LAKE TWP. SHARING FUNDS Secretary-Treasurer Judy Steltz reported that she received information regarding the proper placement of part of the township's revenue sharing funds. At Lake Township's supervisor's meeting Feb. 1, Steltz said she will have to place the funds into a special ac- count which with the existing rev- enue will permit her to meet the township's monthly payroll of about $2600. Harveys Lake council men dis- cussed rerating borough applica- tion for federal public works fund- ing for two proposed borough projects, road construction and a new municipal building during their regular monthly meeting last Thursday. The borough was ad- vised by federal officials that their municipal building project rated 85.08 on the scale of 100 points used by officials weighing appli- cations for funds. The rating placed Harveys Lake 189th of 1108 applicants. Ryan Gilroy, 8, with his Cub Scout craft. By KYLIE SHAFFERKOETTER Post staff DALLAS - Ahoy Mateys! Cub Scout Pack 281 held a model boat race on Jan. 31 in the Dallas Middle School cafeteria, with 68 scouts ranging from second to fifth grade showed up for some fun and friendly competition. The troop was divided into three groups, the Bears, Wolves and Webelos. The Scouts created their own boats from a kit including a mere piece of wood, a stick and sail. You wouldn't have known their decorated vessels came from such meager beginnings. The boats floated at one end of two drain pipes that were blocked off at each end and filled with water. Two contenders lined up at the parallel pipes. “Ready, set, go!” Then they were off. Huffing and puffing, they filled their boats’ sails with air. The races averaged about 20 Den leader ErRNIESS Fitness Club Route 309, Dallas (nextto Treatice Cream) 674-2420 Cub Scouts pull their way to head of the pack seconds. Each scout raced at least twice for the excitement of competition and a shot at one of the 21 prizes, including beautiful golden trophies, plaques and rib- bons. The top threé winners go on to the District Races against other troops in the NEPA council, which takes place in March at the West Side Mall. Those who placed in the top six were: Casey Zalenski, 1st place; David Dwinchick, 2nd place; Ronnie Shiner, 3rd place; Matt Buckman, 4th place; David Harding, 5th place; and Brian Goeringer, 6th place. “It's fun because you doit your- self by blowing it down the track,” explained Joe Bednash, 10. Webelo den leader Sheryl Bednash had a great time watch- ing the races. “It's fun to watch them get so excited,” she said. “We try to stress good sportsman- ship and that the focus is to have fun.” ; Join the Area's Friendliest Fithess Club 1 WEEK FREE ! Visit our facility and receive a Gift I Certificate for a Week of Fitness. | Don't forget to bring a friend! [EmeS|| i Not Good With any other Offers. Offer expires 12/31/97 7 fe ae ee se er ee se se ne Go For A Lower Monthly Payment With Our Home Equity Loan. You Could Win $10,000. Simpler is better. And more affordable. 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Significant historical Pennsylvania newspapers