) ) ‘leading man. -mustache but a face very like your The Dallas Post Dallas, PA Wednesday, April 13, 1994 5 By JACK HILSHER If I were to mention the name Robert Benchley, would any of you remember him? Those who do, ‘read on. Those who don't, read on anyway. You will both be -rewarded. - Benchley, not really very :memorable, fits no particular category. He once wrote humor forthe NEW YORKER, was a movie critic, movie actor, but never a He had a small next door neighbor. In fact it was this ‘kind of role that Benchley played in movie short subjects in ihe 30s and 40s. -. He was the bumbling neighbor who always borrowed your lawn mower and then wanted you to -help-him start it. Or broke it. Or both. Doesn't sound like much, but his skits were masterpieces. Other shorts featured lectures on things like “Sex Life of a Polyp” or.“Your Income Tax” with Bench- ley droning on with utter non- sense but with great sincerity. Audiences missed a lot of dia- | As | was saying... Robert Benchley's many interesting faces logue because they were laughing so hard. I know. I was there. A friend said that, “while he was a humorist, those of us who knew Robert Benchley well some- times found it hard to remember anything funny that he said. It was the outlook that mattered.” That was true - there were more things he did that were hilarious than things he said. For example, Benchley had problems with doc- tors. He never trusted them. When he came down with pneumonia, a doctor had him take one of the new sulfa drugs. Before the doc- tor was to call again, Benchley, with actor Charlie Butterworth's help, broke open a pillow and, with paste, glued feathers all over himself from the waist down. He then covered the feathered area with a sheet. The doctor arrived, examined Benchley's chest, asked him how he was feeling and if the pills had done any good. Benchley said he thought so, but added, “I don't know what to make of this, though,” as he threw back the sheet and uncovered the feath- ers. “Is this OK?" There was another side to Benchley, as there usually is with funny guys, and this is the real reason for this column. Good friend Quentin Reynolds recalls Benchley taking him in a cab to Grant's tomb. In the silent dawn they climbed a fence and went through the shrubs to a grave- stone. Benchley found it immedi- ately, and as Reynolds learned later, came there often. The stone read: Erected to the Memory of an Amiable Child St. Claire Pollock Died 15 July 1797 In the Fifth Year of his Age Reynolds remembers, “We didn’t say much on the trip back, but could sense beneath Bench- ley’s satisfaction at introducing me to something rare, a warm paternal feeling for the amiable child, dead so long, but still re- membered. It pleases me torecall Benchley thus, touched by his own feeling for someone gone.” I said you'd be rewarded if you read on. Library news Library displays exquisite antique china By NANCY KOZEMCHAK -« The display case at the Back Mountain Memorial Library is showing a collection of antique china to announce the 42nd annual Prince of Peace Episcopal Church Antique Show and Sale to be held Tuesday, May 3 from 11 a.m. to 8 p.m. and Wednesday, May 4 from 11 a.m. to 5 p.m. in the church parish house on Main Street in Dallas. The show is sponsored by the Women of Prince of Peace. *. Featured in the display is an Austrian antique tea set with large -cake plate and serving dishes. A sterling silver cake server is in- cluded. There isa German Choco- late pot with sugar and creamer; .a sterling silver nut dish and mint “dish; sterling silver bottle opener; pickle fork; cheese knives and -condiment spoons. Also featured is a Czechoslovakian pink cameo china tea pot, with sugar and creamer; and dessert plates, cups and saucers. All of the china is from the 1930's. The display presents a welcome sign to the spring season and will be at the library until May 11. New books at the library: “Dangerous To Know” by Marga- ret Yorke shows the authors chill- ing ability to remove the mask of respectability to show us the brutal face beneath which reas- serts itself with delicious wicked- ness. She pulls aside the lace curtains of middle-class living to reveal a dark portrait of a mar- riage. For twenty years, Hermi- one had lived in fear of her hus- band's rages and was taking a small step towards a different life. “Grand Days” by Frank Moor- house tells of the moral and sex- ual awakening of an idealistic Australian woman working in the diplomatic corps in Europe in the aftermath of World War I. On a train from Paris to Geneva, Edith meets Major Westwood in the dining car, and allows him to Kiss her passionately. Their early inti- macy binds them together once they reach Geneva and their post at the League of Nations. A vivid, funny and wise story. “The Troublesome Offspring of Cardianl Guzman” by Louis de Bernieres is a breathtakingly audacious story, where farce and | tragedy cheerfully intertwine. Despite the Cardinal's efforts, life flourishes in Cochadebajo, with its improbable population of ex- soldiers, former guerillas, un- frocked priests and prostitutes who celebrate the spirits of the land. A bogus priest takes a decisive hand in setting the rec- ord straight. STOP SMOKING NO WITHDRAWAL NO NERVOUSNESS NO WEIGHT GAIN WRITTEN GUARANTEE ‘39% COMPLETE Howard M. Fleming's Group Hypnosis is the best opportunity you'll have to rid yourself of the bad and costly habit of smoking. Howard M. Fleming and Associates Hypnosis Program has about a 95% success rate - over 20,000 clients have stopped smoking through this type of hypnosis program. Most people who attend won't suffer any withdrawals. And you will stop smoking by the end of the seminar. What have you got to lose-not even the cost of cigarettes for one month. Even if you have smoked for years-you can attend our seminar and walk out as a permanent non-smoker. You will see this happen to over 95% of those who attend. Don't take anyone's word for it-attend and see for yourself. You will get our written guarantee. Free admittance to a Howard M. Fleming & Assoc. Seminar if you ever start smoking again. Experience It! Give a gift of life to someone you love. Bring all of your friends-you all can stop smok- ing permanently in one evening. Leave the seminar feeling great. Bring all of your ciga- rettes-you won't need them after the seminar. BRING AS MANY FRIENDS AS POSSIBLE- STOP SMOKING COMPLETELY! Howard M. Fleming and Associates P.O. Box 591 Colonial Heights, VA 23834 We Are Not The Biggest "BUT" We Are The Best. We Don't Send Stand-ins To Do Our Program. BRINGAD FOR BONUS HOWARD IN ONE NIGHT! THUR., APRIL 14 BEST WESTERN GENETTI HOTEL & CONVENTION CENTER 77 EAST MARKET ST. WILKES-BARRE, PA. SEMINAR: 8:00 P.M. REGISTRATION: 7:00-8:00 P.M. TOS WEIGHTY THROUGH HYPNOSIS - YOU WILL EXPERIENCE IT! 39 COMPLETE BE THIN NO STRESS It may be the best chance you'll ever have to LOSE WEIGHT PERMANENTLY!! Are you sick of dieting without lasting success? Learn to "TURN-OFF" your excessive craving for sweets, starchy, greasy, fried foods. You'll learn to stop over-eating! You will leave the Seminar refreshed, relaxed, and in CONTROL of your appetite. And there's more - you'll get a WRITTEN GUARANTEE: Free admittance to a Howard M. Fleming & Assoc. Seminar if you ever need reinforcement. WRITTEN GUARANTEE THUR., APRIL 14 BEST WESTERN GENETTI HOTEL SEMINAR: 6:00 P.M. REGISTRATION: 5:00-6:00 P.M. ATTEND BOTH SEMINARS FOR ONLY S$S55/PERSON SENIOR CITIZEN DISCOUNT* 3Not valid with other Discount) heck, Cash, MasterCard, Visa Plenty of Parking ©Howard Fleming & Assoc. 1991 FLEA MARKET Penn State Wilkes-Barre Athletics & Recreation Program is holding a Spring Flea Market on Saturday, April 30, and- -- Sunday, May 1, 1994, from 9:00 AM to 3 PM. The fee for space is $10.00 for - ; one day or $15.00 for both days. The Flea Market will be held inside, please bring your own table. For more -* information, or to reserve space call, 675-9181 or 675-9259. Public is-.- invited! A fine bucket of fish Jack Stash volunteered last Saturday to help the Fish Commission stock a section of Harveys Creek near Meeker with an assortment of brook, rainbow and brown trout, with a few trophy-size palominos for good measure. POST PHOTO/GRACE R. 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Significant historical Pennsylvania newspapers