THE SUPREME TEST. There are friends who come in when black sorrow's your guest, To weep with you over your dead; Friends who seem, in the midst of your heartache's unrest, To know just what ought to be said, But the prince of them all, when grim trouble stalks by. And your heart can do nothing hut bleed, Is the fellow who comes when there's 110 one else nigh And whispers: "How much do you need?" Father, tenderly bless all the friends I have known Who came in the depths of my woe, Just to stand by my side when I felt so alone, That I might their sympathy know; O I love every one for each handclasp and tear, And aye shall I wish them godspeed; But a crown for the one who, when none else was near, Said softly: "How much do you need? ' —S. W. Gillian, in Los Angeles Herald. H . J* a"J{e Turned fler Picture }> | toward tqß Wall-"*; ■? By Horace Eaton Walker, \ 1 HAT I am about to relate \l\ I occurred a number of V V years ago, a short time * a i'ter that popular song, "He Turned ller Picture Toward the Wail." came out. I was then living at Brnnton, our family consisting of my self, my wife and two children. Mat tie, aged fifteen, and George, aged sev enteen. We possessed an organ upon which my daughter played, George singing, and Mrs. Witters and myself coming in on the chorus in regular country fashion. I was the musical enthusiast of the family, and while I did not like all the songs then extant, when one did strike me I immediately mastered it. I went into eestaeies over this particular song, and whistled it in the woodshed, hummed it in the parlor, sang it to visitors, neighbors and friends. Many of these took the fever; but mine was especially malignant, and the song haunted me for weeks after everybody else had caught onto something new. My wife casually mentioned an asylum for lunatics several times a day. But I still repeated the song, the first tiling on rising in the morning, and the last thing on retiring at night. Then she expostulated and ventured to hope that no more popular songs would come out for at least a year. I realized that my state was becoming alarming. Something must he done, and immediately. "Mrs. Witters," I said, "the thing shall be stopped." "But how, dear?" she queried wear ily. "I shall lock up the organ." Which I did; but the song still ran in my head. At last I collapsed. I was ill from an overdose of music. The doctor said I would recuperate after a few days of rest, hut upon my be coming couvalesceut I must refrain from all music; I must not even sing "Yankee Doodle," "Ben Holt," or "Mary Had a Little Lamb." Right in the midst of this mental tribulation something happened. Mrs. Witters staggered into my bedroom one morning, her eyes as large as saucers, and exclaimed: "Sam Witters, every picture in the parlor is turned to the wall!" "Yes," chimed in George, "and the or gan is unlocked!" "And pa," added Mattie, "the organ stops are open where you play, 'He Turned Her Picture.'" Instead of throwing me into a mental fever, this information did the reverse. It broke up the musical trend of my thoughts. "Reverse every picture," I com manded. "Lock the organ and fetch the key to me." I was obeyed. Then I said: "George, go and fetch my gun from the attic." "Oh!" gasped my wife. "Yes, I will sit here in bed, armed, and at the first approach of danger, leap from it and shoot the person who is perpetrating this joke." "But you are too sick to think of anything of the kind," expostulated my wife. "I shall need only step from the bed and lire. Pity if I cannot sing a popular song! We'll see about it." "It will he murder," said Mattie, with tearful eyes. "In the first degree, too," cried George, severely. "It wou't be murder! It'll simply he defense against a burglar. See?" They all saw; and as I was master of tile house and thoroughly aroused to the situation, it was decided that I should go on picket duty that night. "Mrs. Witters, you will retire to the chamber above," I ordered at bedtime. I "And, Mattie, you can accompany your mother. As for you, George, get a club from the woodshed and become a sort of body guard to me." As night set in the darkness of the rooms became intense. Not a flicker of light anywhere; just total darkness. George sat in the parlor behind a case of hooks containing poetry, prose and enough dictionaries to scare an ordi nary burglar out of his wits. I sat Dolt upright in hod, my back resting against the headboard, my trusty gun in my bands. The clock struck one, two three. The sound of the bell had scarcely censed when a loud noise came to my cars. Striking a nratch, I peeped into the room where George was sitting. lie was fast asleep and his falling club had awakened ine. I lighted the lamp Jtnd stared at the pictures. "George!" I shouted. "What, father?" he cried, starting from his chair. "Seel" He staggered hack. All the pictures were again turned toward the wall, the organ was unlocked and my favor ite stops were out! George stared at me. X stared at George. "What does it mean, dad?" "You slept!" "But you were on guard?" "Yes." "And did you sleep?" "I think not." "How came you here, then?" "The falling of your club aroused me." "From sleep?" "Perhaps." Mattie and her mother soon arrived on the scene, but none of us could offer a solution to the mystery. Daylight came. The organ stops were replaced, the organ relocked, and every picture righted. The next night Mrs. Witters and myself were to go on guard, she to remain in the parlor, as George had done the night previously, and 1 in bed, as I was not quite strong enough yet to remain up. At midnight the house was again quiet, Mrs. Witters on guard. I heard the clock struck twelve, then one, and My hair stood on end. A scream came from the parlor. Hastily lighting a lamp, I beheld Mrs. Witters standing in a corner, swinging the club franti cally. and screaming. "Eleanor, what in Heaven's name are you doing?" "You nearly frightened mo to death!" she gasped. "1?" "What did you Are at?" I had discharged the gun and it lay smoking against the footboard, the bu reau looking glass having a round hole through it. "Did I tire?" "Did you? Mr. Witters, to-morrow night Mattie shall be on guard, and neither you nor your gun can frighten her!" "Great Heaven, see!" Every picture was again turned to ward the wall and the organ was open. "Eleanor, what mystery is this?" My wife was speechless. Just at that moment George and Mattie appeared. "Father, we will try it to-morrow night, and failing, we'll call in the po lice to watch for us," George said, when the situation had been ex plained. And so once more the pictures were turned back. "I prefer a revolver to a club," Mat tie said stoutly. Thus armed we again awaited events. Singular that I should hear the clock striking every night toward morning! But so it was. It struck twelve, then one, then two, and I leaped from bed. Mattie was firing her revolver rapidly, the light reveal ing her in an attitude of despair. "Well, Mattie, what have you hit?" "Nothing!" she said doggedly, throw ing her smoking revolver into a cor ner. "Oh, yes you have! You've shot four holes through my new oil paint ing, costing live hundred dollars. One hole in the perspective, one in the background, two through the moun tain. Good! .Tust one hundred and twenty-five dollars a shot. Mattie, you'll do." As we came back to a normal con dition of mind we found that the pic tures had been reversed as before. "It is terrible!" said Mattie. "But why did you shoot?" "I heard footsteps." "Whose?" "I do not know." "Leave me to watch to-morrow night, said my wife, determinedly. "Well and good; we will!" I an swered. When the fatal hour came Mrs. Wil ters commanded: "Mr. Witters, you will now retire as usual." I retired gun in hand. "George—Mattie—your father has gone to bed. Come." The three left the room, going to the spare chambers above. What it meant I had no means of knowing at the time, but It all came out afterward. When I fell asleep they returned to the sitting room, each holding a revolver and a dark lantern. Mrs. Witters was at the head of the undertaking, her idea be ing to Hash the bull's eyes full upon the parlor adjoining at the slightest noise, and should a person be discovered tampering with the organ or pictures, to shoot him. As usual I heard the clock strike twelve, one, two, and The next I knew the parlor was suddenly illum inated, and crack! crack! crack! went the three revolvers. They had sur prised the man in the very act of dis placing the pictures, and after firing excitedly, rushed into the room. "Great Heavens!" cried my wife, fainting and falling. "Are you hurt?" gasped George. "We have shot father!" screamed Mattie, springing forward and clasping me in her arms. Matters were soon righted, but it my bold warriors had not been too badly frightened to shoot straight I should not he telling this story. It is all explained by the fact that I was a somnambulist, and did those things in my sleep.—Waverley. The Elephant** Teetli. An elephant has only eight teeth alto gether. At fourteen years the elephant loses its first set of teeth and a new set grows. When a baby stops crying the old bachelor thinks something must be the matter with it. FROM ANOTHER WORLD. An Engllßli Officer Wnrned Against Deatli. Ad English girl was engaged to be married to a young American who had been a student abroad. They had met at Heidelberg. He died suddenly after returning to this country. She came over here shortly afterward to visit his mother. While in New York she went to a medium. There was no appoint ment beforehand and there was no way by which the psychic could know who she was. Taking her turn, she sat down by 1 ho medium, who went in to a trance and began to speak. Im mediately tile girl's lover claimed to be present. He told her some things which only they two had ever known. He recalled circumstances connected with their acquaintance abroad. Now, It so happened that this young lady's father was an English officer in the war in South Africa. Among other tilings which the young man told was this: He said: "I am glad that I have been able to save your father's lire once or twice during the past summer." Now comes the strange coincidence, if coincidence it be. The father writes home from Soutli Africa, being en tirely Ignorant of nil that has taken place here, and relates what scents to him a somewhat remarkable fact. lie tells how he was sitting in his tent one day wheu there came upon him suddenly an unaccountable impression that he was in danger. It was as though some otto were trying to make him l'eel this and induce him to move. So strong was the feeling that lie got up and went over to the other side of his tent. He had hardly done this before a shell struck the chair whore ho had been sitting. Had he remained there he would have been instantly killed. Of course, It Is not asserted that this is anything more than a co incidence; but the suggestion is made that coincidences of this sort have been so very frequent as to make cne wonder as to whether there is not some deeper meaning in it nil.—Minot J. Savage, in Alnslee's Magazine. Whence Cornea Electricity? At a time when electricity is rapidly transforming the face of the globe, when it has already in great measure annihilated distance and bids fair to abolish darkness for lis, it is curious to notice how completely ignorant "the plain man" remains as to the later developments of electrical theory. Some recent correspondence has led me to think that a vague notion that electricity is a fluid which in some mysterious way flows through a tele graph wire like water through a pipe, is about as far as he has got; and if we add to this some knowledge of what he calls "electric shocks," we should probably exhaust his ideas on the subject. Yet this is not to he wondered at. Even the most in structed physicists can do nothing but guess what electricity is, and the ouly point on which they agree is as to what it is not. There is, in fact, a perfect concensus of opiniou among scientific writers that it is not a fluid, t. e„ a continuous stream of ponderable matter, as is liquid or a gas; and that it is not a form of energy, as is heat. Outside this limit the scientific imag ination is at liberty to roam where it listetli, and although it has used this liberty to a considerable extent, no definite result has followed up to the present time.—The Academy. The Flsli of Bermuda. There is a great green "parrot-flsh" of Bermuda, as brilliant in color as his namesake the bird, showing himself boldly, and swimming along slowly, secure from any assault. Ilis scales are green as the fresh grass of spring time, and each one is bordered by a pale-brown line. His flns are pink, and the end of the tail is handed with nearly every color of the rainbow. He is showy, hut this showiness servos him a good purpose. His flesh is bit ter and poisonous to man, and prob ably so to other fishes as well, and they let him well alone, for they can recognize him afar off, thanks to his gaudy dress. Underneath the parrot, lying on the bottom, is a "pink hind." You notice him, and as the parrot passes over hiin lie suddenly changes to bright scarlet, and as quickly resumes his former faint color. Had the parrot been looking for ids dinner, and thought the hind would make a good first course, this sudden change of color might have seared him off, just as the sudden bristling of a cat makes a dog change his mind. When the hind is disturbed at night he gives out Hashes of light to startle the intruder, and send him away in a fright.—St. Nicho las. Fresli Meat From Uruguay. According to the report of United States Consul Albert W. Swnlin, at Montevideo, llic exports ol' fresh ment from the River Plate show a steady increase. Nearly two years ago the export of live stock from the River Plate to Europe was embargoed by reason of the foot and mouth disease, and while the diseaSe has disappeared the quarantine remains. This has caused a marked development of the refrigerated beef Industry, so that three lines of steamers, lucluding the Itoyal Mall Packets, have been fitted to carry beef in quarters to the English markets. These beef exports, up to October J, 1901. have amounted to 917,92-1 quar ters, as against 143,859 for the same period of 1900. During the same nine months 1,030,012 frozen sheep were ex ported to Europe. Tlie River Plate can easily furnish from 3,000,000 to 4,000,- 000 quarters of beef for export. The cattle used for the trade cost an average of .$23 to S3O gold per head at the killing market. The best sheep for freezing cost an average of $3 per head. OUR. BUDGET OF HUMOR. IIMMIMI I I I IIIBBfI Will Kuise Her One. The cat that nightly haunts our gate- How heartily we hate her! Some night she'll come and mew till late, But we will mu-ti-late her! —San Antonio Express. A Barlty. She—"l should like to have a coin dated the year of my birth." He (a collector—with enthusiasm)— "Yes. It would Indeed he valuable."— The Sketch. Believing Mamma's Mind. "Mamma, my governess says cosmet ics hurt a person's complexion." "Well! The idea!" "Oh! But she snid they wouldn't hurt yours, mamma!"— Puck. Stupidity Personifled. '\ ■ , : 'v.-g. I ' \T* "Stupid?" "I should say so! Last night I turned the gas down, and he asked me if it was time for him to go home." —Detroit Free Press. The Business Maid. "Did she hold out auy encourage ment?" "She said she'd take my offer under advisement and drop me a line as soon as she was convinced it was the best she could do."—Cleveland Plain Dealer. A Demand For Transparency. "At this point," said the author, "the plot thickens." "Don't let it do that!" protested the manager. "Thin it out. If there's any thing that annoys the public it's a plot that can't he seen through at a glance." —Washington Star. A Sincere Affection. "Do you think that titled suitor's af fections are sincere?" "Yes," answered Mr. Cumrox, "to some extent his affections are undoubt edly sincere. I never knew a man who loved money more devotedly than he does."—Washington Star. Another Strike Averted. Mr. Mann—"lf you were not my brother-in-law I would punch your head off!" Mrs. Mann—"John, don't you dare hit my brother!" Mr. Mann—"And if I were not your brother-in-law I'd wipe up the lloor with you!" Mrs. Mann—"Frank, don't you dare (trike my husband!"—Chelsea (Mass.) Gazette. Didn't Want to Sit Tliere. The little three-year-old daughter of )ne of the leading ministers in Little Rock resents too great familiarity. A tew evenings ago, though she seemed a little unwilling, a young man who was calling took her upon his lap, Whereupon she said with great gravity; "I want to sit in my owu lap." It Is needless to add that the young man immediately put her down.— Trained Motherhood. A Way Old Anqunintnncca Have. "It is too bad," said the visitor from home, "but people who acquire wealth are not the same to their old friends." "Perhaps there is a reason for that," replied Mrs. Cumrox, reminiscently. 'Teoplo who acquire wealth have feel ings the same as any one else, and their old friends sometimes have a very su perior way of saying, 'Humph! I knew them when they were as poor as Job's turkey!"'—Washington Star. Au Enthusiast. fe/j' -PIT The Truant—"l alius said dere ain't nuthin' like fisliin' fer a man of a con templative an' philosophical nature!"— New York Journal. She Knew the Benson. "Can you tell me why it is," he growled, as he began diving under the bed, "that my slippers always seem to get pushed clear over against the wall?" "Yes, dear," she answered pleasantly. "You can?" "Yes, dear." "Then why is it?" "Because you don't put them away iu the slipper rack when you take them off, deal'."—Chicago Post Jfc_ WIT. Humor and Subtlety In Narrative ai Tta clal Characteristics. "Witty anecdotes are occasionally credited to the Jews, but, according to a writer in Chambers's Journal, "the Jews possess in a remarkable degree tlie quality of humor and subtlety in narrative generally of a biting or droll nature." A number of specimens are given. Some concern Disraeli, the best, perhaps, being that relating to the late Lord Kosslyn. "What can we do with Itosslyn ?" Disraeli once asked of a col league. "Make him Master of the Buckhounds as his father was," sug gested the latter. "No;" replied the premier; "he swears far too much for that. We will make him High Com missioner to the Church of Scotland." Many stories are told of the Roths childs. A young fop who paid one of the celebrated Jewish hankers a visit was so proud of his set of malachite sleeve buttons that he foolishly insisted on exhibiting them to ills host. The latter looked at Ikem and then re marked: "Yes, it is a pretty stone; I hnve always liked it. In tho next room I have a mantlepiece made of it." The wife of one of the Rothschilds lived to he ninety-eight. On her death bed she said to her medical attendant: "Oh, doctor, can you do anything for me?" "Nothing, madam," he replied; "I cannot make you young again." "No," she added; "I do not want that. I should like to live to grow oid." The grandfather of the present Lord Rothschild made a practice of employ ing a certain cabby to drive him round on his business calls, paying the man liberally but uot lavishly. Timt gen tleman's son also occasionally em ployed the same driver, and he invaria bly gave a substantial gratuity in ad dition to the fare. This difference puzzled the cabman for a time, till eventually he plucked up sufficient courage to ask tlio elder Rothschild to explain why his son always paid more than he did. "My good man," Rothschild replied, "my sou has the good fortune to have a rich father; I haven't." WORDS OF WISDOM. Sorrows remembered sweeten pres ent joy.—rollock. Rashness is the faithful but tin happy parent of misfortune.—Fuller. To reform a man you must begin with his grandmother. Victor Hugo. Recompense injury with justice, and unkindness with kindness.—Confucius. A straight line is tile shortest m mor als as in mathematics.—Marie Edge worth. If nettled by severe raillery, conceal the sting if you would escape a repeti tion of the evil.—Coltou. There are few things reason can dis cover with as much certainty and ease as its own insufficiency.—Jeremy Col lier. Reflection is the flower of the mind, giving out wholesome fragrance; hut revery is the same flower, when rank and running to seed Tupper. One of the most unfortunate beings is a man gifted with a sense of humor who lacks tact, for nearly every joke he perpetrates cost him a friend. He cannot resist the temptation to enjoy a good joke, even at the expense of friendship. The humorist who would retain his friends must refrain from jokes that may be interpreted as im pertinence.—Success. Changes in Urfilal Costumes. Continental brides, says the London Graphic, are so conservative in their bridal attire and customs that it is somewhat strange that two new depar tures at weddings should have been no ticed within tho past few days, and in different countries. In Spain—of all lands most slow to take in new ideas— the daughter of a grandee was attended by eight bridesmaids, quite after the English fashion. As a rule, brides maids are non-existent in France and Spain, the bride being only attended by one or two maids of honor, each dressed differently. In this last of Spanisli weddings, however, the bevy of maidens were all in white, and walked up the church after the bride. The second innovation was observed at a smart Paris wedding. The bride wore, instead of tlie orthodox white silk or satin, a white velvet gown, and instead of orange blossoms or myrtle bouquets of white camellias, both on her corsage and catching up her lace veil, so arranged as to form n peaked up and very becoming coiffure. Tlio Placid Flounder. At length wo see them, the serene flounders, reposing in the small end of the pockets. It is hard to imagine more impassive fish in all the seas tiian these flounders—hardly a squirm or a flash out of them as they are hailed over the rail and dumped into the well. They did swim around like happy creatures once they found themselves in the well, in what must have seemed free water to them again—but that only showed again what foolish fish they were, as even August noted. A fat cod or a haddock, a whiting or even a heavy-wltted halibut will kick and struggle when, caught, with seem ingly a presentiment of the fate that awaits him; hut these fiat flounders — not a really vigorous kick or wiggle from the entire bunch.—From "On a Bultic Sea Sloop," by James B. Connol ly, in Scribner's. Lone; Avenno of Trei'. Japan has an avenue of trees fifty miles in length. The trees are the cryptomera, and every one is a perfect speeimcD, quite straight, from 130 feet to 150 feet in height and twelve feet to fifteen feet in circumference. The ave nue extends from the town of Narnau tiu to Nlkko. CORPSE TAKES WEIGHT. Strange Case Whfeh Is Exciting Comment in Now York. For some time there has been specu lation as to -whether the body of Elmer S. Bunday, who was a United States Circuit Court Judge, was petrified. Though at the time of his death, five years ago, says the New York Tribune, the Judge weighed only a little more than 100 pounds, it took six or men to handle the coffin recently at the Moravian Cemetery, where the body Is now in the receiving vault, awaiting reburial. The present weight is said to be more than 500 pounds. The theory of petrifaction was reject ed by experts who visited the vault and examined the body not long ago, but there is no doubt that the body has undergone marked and curious changes, and the examination which was made showed also that the color had changed to almost the shade of bronze. "The body could hardly have become petrified in so short a time as five years," said Frank H. Chase, an au thority on embalming, "as petrification ■ is always accompanied by groat age. But an increase in weight might easily occur if the body were in a grave, . where waters charged with mineral 1 substances percolated. I can see no way in which the increase of weight could take place if the coffin were air tight. "But the probability is that it was not. It is extremely difficult to make n metal coffin airtight, and unless water could percolate to the body there is no means by which it could gain weight. "When a body is embalmed, too, there is a gradual toughening of the tissues, accompanied by a disappear ance of the watery substances, so that in time weight is lost instead of gained. A body weighing 125 to 150 pounds at death would in a year or so weigh no more than twenty-five pounds. You can lift a mummy easily with one hand, hut to account for an increase in weight it is necessary to suppose that mineral substances have been added. In a perfectly dry grave no Increase in weight could take place. This is sim ply due to an accretion of mineral mat ter, and such cases are by no means unprecedented." The Height of the Atmosphere. One thing may be said about the new atmosphere. That of old was supposed to be not over sixty miles high. Its ra tio of decrease of density seemed to prove this. The atmosphere is now be lieved to be fully 500 miles high. This belief is based upon a study of the fall of meteorites. These free wanderers of space plunge into the upper air at so great a speed that their friction, even with the extremely rare gas at that high altitude, soon heats them to incan descence, and they flame into light. They have been observed to flash out in this way at a height of over 100 miles. At this elevation the air must, be so exceedingly rare as to render fttl certain that friction yvitli several hun dred miles of it would be needed to heat a meteor to the incandescent point. From this it is estimated that the up per limit of the atmosphere cannot be less than 500 miles above the surface. It may be much more. The air may extend upward as far as the force of gravity is capable of overcoming its centrifugal force, which steadily in creases with height. How high that is no one can tell.—Charles Morris, in Lip plncotL California Figs. As an illustration of the curiously diversified character of the work of the agricultural stations, it is of interest to note that the California station has beeu for over ten years experimenting in fig culture, sixty different varieties having been tested in that period. It has been connected Indirectly w!lb the National Government in the study o the Smyrna fig. It has been demon- 1 strated that this fig, to reach its high est form, must be fertilized by a tiny insect which, in the Old World fig re gions goes on its enriching journeys from the wild caprifig flower to the do mestic fig tree, beariug the pollen which gives to the ripened tig its pe culiar richness and flavor. The promise now is that, through the introduction of the insect, the choicest European figs are to ho raised with profit in Cali fornia.—AV. S. llaruood, in Scribuer's. Value of Sunday llcst. An important contribution to scion* title data hearing on the necessity of Sunday rest from labor has been made by a Pennsylvania railroad official. He selected two groups of laborers from tlie working force of a certain freight house controlled by his road. Ho measured the working capiclty of each group in terms of tons handled daily "I for a week. On Sunday one group rested; the other worked as usual. On the following Monday the men who had been continuously at servko showed a decrease of ten per eeui. in efficieucy as compared with the pre vious Monday, and each day atl.r their comparative delinquency beer ne greater. The men who had their Sun day respite, on the other hand, were as valuable to the company the second week as the first.—Duluth Herald. Hnil and Snow. Why water should sometimes fall as soft suow crystals and at others in hard lumps of icy hail is a question of interest. The difference is entirely one of time. Snow crystals are very slowly, the frozen atoms of water grouping themselves with mathemat ical precision around different centres. Hail, which generally falls in warm weather, is rain frozen suddenly by a sharp drop of temperature in the upper air. Wind nearly always accompanies hail; while the larger and more perfect snowfinkes are always formed in ealin air.—Chicago Journal,
Significant historical Pennsylvania newspapers