FREE LUND IRIBOIIE. ESTABLISH 121> 18S8. PUBLISHED EVERY MONDAY, U'EDNE.-DAY AND FRIDAY BY THE TRIEUNE PRINTING COMPANY, Limited OrrtcKi MAIN STREET ABOVE CENTRE. LUNG DISTANCE TELEFIIOHK. SUBSCRIPTION KATES FREE LAND.—The TRIBUNE is delivered bj carriers to subscribers in Freelamluttho rat, of 1-1$ cents por month, payable every two mouth*, or $1 of. % year, payable in advance- The TRIBUNE may be ordered directform tho carriers or from the i fllco. Complaints of Irregular or tard,- delivery service will re. oeive prompt attention. DY MAIL—The Tni BENE is sent to out-of. town subscribers for Sl.fi'a year, payable in advance; pro rata terms for shorter periods. The date when the subscription expires is on the address label of each paper. Prompt re newals must be innde at tho expiration, other, wise the subscription will bo discontinued. Entered at the Postortleo at Freeland. Pa., ae Second-Class Matter. Make aV money order e, checks ero. ,pay bit to the Tribune I'r.n'ing Company, Limited. A youth in Denver, Col., whom his rarcnta afflicted with the somewhat unwieldy name of George Washington Abraham Lincoln Wellington Camp bell, has run away from his home because they refused to permit him to abbreviate It In the way his heart was set upon. Nobody among the neighbors seems disposed to blame bint, but he had to take bis entire name with him. In its triumphant march to tho leadership of sports in America golf has enrolled among its enthusiastic followers tho leading officials in the United States Government. There are now 1000 regularly organized golf clubs in tlie United States, with a membership of 150,000. Over $lO,- 000,000 has been invested in the game, and each year $3,"75,000 is spent in its pursuit. Meantime new golf cluba are springing up by the score. Consul-General Guenther at Frank fort, Germany, notifies the State De partment, at Washington, that Ger man newspapers report that the agri cultural societies of Italy will pay a prize of $193 for a reliable method of ascertaining the quality of sulphur and of mixtures of sulphur and sulphate of copper most effective in tho use against plant diseases. Often such mixtures, it is stated, are inferior, and this competition, international m character, is thus offered with a view of alleviating that difficulty. Housekeepers and pure food com missioners have a new foe to light. It is viscogen as a milk adulterant. It has been found by inspectors of tho Dairy Department in Minnesota, and, so far as known, its use is yet confined to that State. When its properties become generally known, however, it may confidently be looked for elsewhere. It is r. syrup composed of sugar, lime, and water, about the color of water, and is used chiefiy to make the milk appear richer than it really is. When viscogen is placed In milk or cream the lactic acid turns tho lime in tho fluid into a white, thick substance, which, assimilating with tlie milk, gives it an appearance and taste of great richness. It is pos sible through its use to palm off upon customers milk and cream which is far below standard. Fortunately, the adulterant, according to Minnesota authorities, is not injurious to health. Extension of Cliniitauqnn Work. Tlie Chautauqua movement is stead ily extending its influence and scope of work. One of the most remarkable of the reading circles is located In the prison of Stillwater, Minn., where, for the past ten years, it has exerted a no table influence among the convicts in tlie regeneration of life and character. Active circles have also been carrying on the work for years in tho Argen tine Republic, Chile and tlie Hawaiian Islands. Jamaica in the West Indies, Yokohama, Japan and India report large new circles. Chautauqua rend ers are also pursuing the courses in Mexico, Venezuela, Portugal, England, France, Germany, Finland, Alaska, Porto Itico, Cuba and the Philippines and other foreign islands and coun tries. Last summer over 120 Chau tauqua assembles were held in thirty four different States and Territories, the attendance at which aggregated a million of people.—Gunton's Magazine. Guild of Wage Earners. In Maine there Is n co-operative guild of workingwomen Incorporated under the laws of that State whir', provides in its bylaws that all profits shall be divided in a certain ratio be tween the stockholders and the wage earners. At the storm of Magdeburg by Tilly, in 1031, this noted authority on mile art of war laid down the general' annxini that after a successful assault the soldiers ought to have Uiiro hours cf pillage. Steam motor wagons have comment 1 - eod to run regularly between London ami Tuubrldgo Wells. SAND. I observed a locomotive in the railroad yard one day, It was waiting in the roundhouse where the locomotives stay; It was panting for the journey, it was coaled ana fully manned, And it had a box the fireman was filling full of sand. It appears that locomotives cannot always get a grip On their slender iron pavement cause their wheels are apt to slip; And when they reach a slippery spot their tactics they command And to got a grin upon the rail they spriaklc it with sand. It's about this way with travel along life's slippery track If your load is rather heavy and you're always sliding back; So, if a modern locomotive you complete ly understand, ' You'll supply yourself at starting with a good supply of sand. If your track is steep and hilly, and you have a heavy grade, And it' those who ve gone before you have the rails quite slippery made, If you ever reach the summit of the up per tableland, You'll find you'll have to do it with a lib eral use of sand. You can get to any station that's on life's schedule seen, If there's tire beneath the boiler of ambi tion's strong machine. And you'll reach a place called Flushtown at a rate of speed that's grand If for all the slippery places you've a good supply of sand. | The Practical Lover. 1 £ £ "| —x ON'T talk a lot of stuff to I 1 ine about love and mar -1 J riage," said I impatiently to my romantic friend Jack Manning, as we sat over the fire In my modest chambers discussing the pros and cons of life in double har ness. "It is simply Impossible to com bine the two. Marriage is a prosaic, practical condition, make the court ship what you will. There should bo no silly love-makiug in the business at all." "I've heard ail that sort of thing be fore." said Jaek quietly, puffing rings of smoke scientifically into the air. "And you, like the rest, ouly want a smile from a pair of bright eyes to bowi you over and set you by the ears. It's fate, my hoy, that's what it is." "Bosh," said I contemptuously. "When I marry it will he a woman who does uot expect any nonsense of that kind. We shall conduct our part nership on a business-like basis—l to provide the money, she to take care of the home." Left alone I took down a photograph and regarded it intently. "Here's the wife for me—a nice, sen sible, intelligent girl, with no non sense about her at ail. I'm tired of a bachelor life; it's wretchedly dull. Yes, I'll go and see her to-inorrow and get It over." Miss Silvester did not blush, east down her eyes or tremble or appear agitated in any manner. She looked thoughtfully out of the window for somo seconds, then she looked up and regarded me soberly. "Would you mind telling mo what your annual income is?" she nsked. This staggered me a bit, but I told her SISOO without any hesitation. "It's not a great amount," she inosed. "But still we might manage on it with prudence. I haven't very expensive tastes, and you " I murmured that I was most unpre tentious in my way of living, and asked whether she would consider smoking an unnecessary luxury, "Not at all," she answered promptly. "I hope I am not so foolish as that. You see I am n practical woman, and you will quite understand that In ac cepting your offer sentiment is uot brought to bear upon me at all, and I think I may depend upon you not to subject me to any foolish demonstra tions of affection." "Certainly," I returned. "You have hut echoed my sentiments. I trust I shall be able to make you happy, and that you will uot regret your decision to-day." And then we talked over matters in a very satisfactory manner. There was no need to delay the marriage she agreed—a couple of mouths would ho quite sufficient to make all necessary arrangements—and after a cup of tea and the congratulations of mamma, a gawky sister and a rather handsome young brother, I returned home to my diggings in the digniticd character of a formally engaged young man. Mary would not allow me to buy her an engagement ring; it was quite un necessary, site said, aiul we should want nil tho money we had. In the matter of house furnishing she exhib ited a practical, matter-of-fact inter est which was most commendable, and site determinedly discountenanced any Idea of a honeymoon. \\ e shall get tired of one another in a week," she said. "I shall be quite content to remain at home, and per haps go to a concert or lecture in the evening." (JUG memorable tiny something oc curred which opened my eyes to the real state of things. I surprised Mary In the act of saying good-bye to her smart young brother at the door. She put both arms around his neck nud kissed him with a warmth of affection I had never deemed her capable of. A very demon of jealousy rose within me. I followed her into tlie room, talking wildly and as idiotically as only a man In love can. I caught her baud, pressed it to my lips, and implored her to lie kind to me. She told mo not to make myself ridiculous. Her disdain and contempt tor me goaded me be yond bearing. I told her life was a howling wilderness without her love, and 1 a lived the very ground she walked on, ..ml that unless she recip rocated my affection 1 should never tlnd peace on this side of the grave. She Informed me that I was talking like a schoolboy, that she wns sorely disappointed in me nnd could never respect me again. It was all up. I left her presence with the fixed Intention of going either straight to the dogs or finding a home In some watery grave. But I did neither. After pacing the roads for a good hour and a half, I suddenly found myself at my own door. Me chanically I walked up the stairs and into my own room, and sat down by my solitary hearth, a picture of de spair and misery. How long I brood ed there I hardly knew, hut I was aroused from the lethargy Into which I had fallen by a slight step crossing the threshold of my own door, and be fore I could turn n pair of small hands caught me from behind and softly Imprisoned my aching eyes. "Guess! guess!" said a strangely fa miliar voico iu an excited mood. My heart thumped like a steam en gine, but before I could gnther my scattered Wits and answer I was re leased, and Mary, a smiling, blushing, transfigured Mary, hung over tho arm of my chair and actually hugged me of her own accord. "Fred, dear Fred," she said trium phantly, as she desisted. "Tell me. Do you still want a practical wife, dear?" I didn't, and I said so. I caught the pretty bauds iu mine and drew tho owuer unresistingly toward me. "Mary," I began. "Did you " "Yes, we did," interrupted Mary laughing. "We wanted to give you a lesson."—renny Pictorial Magazine. FAMOUS TRYSTINC OAK. Itesort For Many of Sir Walter Scott'. Characters. "Admirers of Sir Walter Scott will Be interested to know that the famous trysting oak in Harthill-walk, Iu this country, mentioned in 'Xvanhoe,' and beneath the houghs of which so many stirring scenes were enacted, has at last come to the ground. Seott himself refers to the tree as 'venerable;' and, as wo may suppose that this epithet was appropriate iu the days of Coeur de Lion, it would be difficult to find in England a more antiquated trunk than that which now lies near the scene of its youthful glory. The Duke of Leeds is the owner of tho land about Hnrthill, and we (Liverpool "Post") nre informed that it is tho in tention of liis agent, Mr. W. Mosey, to preserve the relic, have it suitably in scribed, and, with no little ceremony, plant a young tree on the spot. It is very probable that tho Duchess of Leeds, who, as the authoress of 'Cnp riccios,' has become known In the lit erary world, will interest herself iu the matter "The old tree, by the way, was tho headquarters of YVnmba, tho Jester the son of Witless; Gurth, the thrall of C'edric the Saxon; Locksley, tho wonderful archer, nnd other charac ters in the immortal romance. From it the letter of deflauce was iudited to Front de Boeuf, 'signed by us upon the eve of St. Withold's Day under tho great trysting oak in Harthill-walk. The above, written by a holy man, clerk to God, Our Lady, and St. Dun stau, in the chapel of Copmanhurst.' According to Scott, the tree was hut three arrow flights from Torquilstone Castle, a place which figures largely in 'lvanhoe,' hut of which no traces 1 now exist."—Meehan's Monthly. Lord I'ldon's Apology* On one occasion a junior counsel, on their lordships giving judgment against his client, exclaimed that he was surprised at their decision. This was construed iuto a contempt of | court, nnd the young barrister was ordered to attend at the bar tho next I morning. Fearful of the consequences, | he consulted his friend, John Scott, (afterwards Lord Eldon), who told him to 1)0 perfectly at ease, for ho would apologize for him in away that would avert any unpleasant result. Accord ingly, when the name of the delin quent was called, Scott rose and coolly addressed the judges. "I am very sorry, my lords," he said, "that my young friend has so far forgotten him self as to treat your lordships with disrespect; he is extremely penitent, and you will kindly ascribe his unin tentional insult to ills ignorance. Y'ou must see at once that it did originate in that. He said he was surprised at tlie decision of your lordships. Now. if he had not been ignorant of what takes place iu this court every day— had lie known you but half so long as I liave done—be would not be sur prised at anything you did."—The Green Bag. Wealth of Economy. In almost all the cases where men have accumulated great fortunes, at tention to margins aud remnants has been the secret of their success. Wealth did not come to them in huge windfalls, overwhelming them with opulence, hut by gradual acquisitions aud by saving, year after year, the loose money which other men squan der. By economizing the little sums which tne thoughtless aud improvident man deems uot worth looking after— tho pennies nnd dimes nud quarter dollars of which ho keeps no reckon ing—the pyramid of their fortune has been slowly aud surely reared.—Suc cess. Ilavtl I*mis Recommended. A German doctor advises the adop tion of a hard hod, aud that children should be trained from the beginning to sleep upon uo other kind. It is cer tainly true that, as a rule, the hard bed conduces to the most refreshing kind of sleep, tlie feather bed, so dear ly loved by our grandmothers, being i nervating in the extreme an encour aging weakness of mind iu the matter of getting up in the morning.—Pitts burg Dispatch, Machinery Working a Revolution. t | y LIE perfection of farm ma- I . chluery has worked a revo- JJ lution in all farming meth (i ods. Now a man can with i ease do the work In a day that used to take him three or four days to per form. By means of the improved ma chinery and scientific methods the progressive farmer has cheapened the cost of his produce by half; the per fection of railway service takes his surplus to the market In half the time, with a freight charge of one fourth the tariff of thirty years ago. There is more money now in fifty cent wheat than there was in "dollar wheat" then. In every field of human activity in this country, save one, there have been and are being made giant strides to multiply productivity, lessen cost and add convenience. Shall we not expect ere long that the top wire of main fences will connect with telephones and join farm to farm, and these, in turn, to the town at the rail way, the county seat and the city? But what shall we say of the roads In these there has been practically no advancement in fifty years. Wagon transportation shows little, if any, progress for a century. Periodically in every community the farmers go out, and under the direction, or, more properly, misdirection, of the path master, plow up and destroy more or less of the roads in working out their annual poll tax. May we live to see the end of this idiotic practice. Many of our main traveled roads have had j more time and money thrown away I upon them in these annual fits of "im proving" than it would cost to build and maintain a first class macadam road. The necessity for good roads is immediate and imperative; expand ing trade and the perfection of ocean transportation have put American grain into competition with the food products of Crimea, India, Australia and Argentina. In all of these coun tries American machinery and rneth- I ods are no strangers, and all of the | economies known and practised here ! are understood and employed there. If, then, the American farmer is in the future to hold the first position as the feeder of the world, he must still further cheapen the cost of his pro ] dueo in the world's market. There may be various ways to do this, but there is one way so potent, so pro nounced and self-evident that it out ranks all the others, and that is to build good roads, and thus reduce the cost of transportation from the farm to the railway by two-thirds No less an authority than the United States Bureau of Agriculture finds that it often requires one-fourth of the farm produce to pay for carrying the whole from the farm to the railway. The Secretary of Agriculture says: "No permanent prosperity will or can come to agriculture without good roads." The cost of hauling from the farm to the market is three or four times more than the cost of similar service in Europe, and is, at least, three times what the cost would be here with good hard roads.—New York Tribune. '••• ' i^lWlK. T : 4* Unci Roads a Double Injury. Bad roads work a double injury; when the natural dirt roads are good, the teams are usually wanted in the fields. When the rain comes so that the work Is stopped in the fields, the roads are often impassable. The fact that prices nre usually the best when the roads are the worst is one so gen eral and so often repeated as to bo well known to every one. In fact, the scant supply Is due to the embargo of mud, which creates a shortage in the market, aud this increases the price. When the roads are good again, the Immense quantity of produce thrown upon the market depresses the prices. Bad roads nre, in fact, the most ex pensive burden the farmer has to hear. They require twice the horsepower, twice the time aud only one-half the load as compared with good roads. Transportation is really the great est economic question of the age. In no department of human activity has there been a greater or perhaps so great an advancement as in the rail way transpi ration in this country. Tile American railways have solved the question of the most perfect ser vice at the least possible cost. A modern locomotive over a modern track will carry from 'JU.OOO to 100,000 bushels of grain in a single train. We can boast of the best railways—and the worst public highways—of any country on earth. . Met Half Way. Under direction from Washing ton, a special agent of the Department of Agriculture took up the question of transporting road material with the presidents of ten of the .leading rail ways in Illinois. In every case they expressed their willingness to haul road material for this purpose at ac tual cost. One president said: "We will haul it on any terms required, and if cost isn't low enough the far mers may tlx the tariff." Uowurd of Iluinanlt}'. Tile case under the Wild Birds' Pro tection act at Gainsborough the other day is hardly calculated to encourage tlic protection of wild birds. A man rescued a thrush from the hands of some boys who were ill-treating it I and took It to his house, whereupon I he was himself summoned and mulcted j in the costs tor being in possession of | the bird.—London Truth. THE CRACIOUSNESS OF MIRTH. One of tbo Greatest Treasures m llouso* hold Can Possess. The man who labors and unselfish ly struggles all the long days for the wife and children and home, says the New York Evening Post, docs not realise that if he could put iuto the family treasury the richness of occa sional hours of happy intercourse ho would eudow them more graciously than when ho bestows his generous wealth. The lost hilarity and gladness of his youth would be a measureless boon at Ills own fireside nnd endear him to bis children. Parents and chil dren who laugh together become com rades In a very close way and when serious speech becomes necessary It has far more weight and force, be cause it is unusual. Anything more dismal than the or dinary professional joker, anything more depressing than the studiously funny book, It is hard to find. Tho temperament which lightens the fam ily atmosphere, and becomes a provider of oxygen to labored breathing, is wholly unconscious of a mission and gives forth its healthful iufiuences as tho sun uud the sea breeze and tho rippling water give, with the effort less beneficence of a wholesome, vital ly strong nature. Merriment which is infectious belongs to him who lias a clean heart and a wholly true nature, whose mental environ ment is proof against the microbes of distrust and deceit, aud who counts love and good faith more precious than a fortune. Such a temperament will triumph over disease and disappointment nnd give out ids touic antidotes against life's Ills to the last. He who sleeps at Vnillimn was a marvelous example of what I moan. And other such have I seen, valiantly smiling while death stood at the door, though helplessly feeble on a loug-rcquired bed, or standing erect, with a quenchless cheerfulness of eye and lip, encour aging his loved ones, even when tho summoning angel laid his hand upon his gallant heart. Endurance, courage, resignation. Spartan defiance of pain, are concom itant characteristics of our noblest men; but when a man Inflexibly de termines to keep "that side the world the sun's upon," and with quick kin dling thought and gracious cheerful ness, reflect its light, he will add to these the remedy for Ills which comes from a glad heart, and give to his com panions the music of honest laughter set to merry words. Let us bear In mluil that around a family board and In the Intercourse of our dally lives we can, without knowing it, kill every germ of these bright qualities iu our children's minds by enveloping them in clouds of danger-dreading anxiety. Gradu ally, laughter will cease to he heard iu tlie house, and the spectre-laying spear of quick wit lie idle in lis place. To-day it is not rare to see children boys especially—of ten and twelve and onward, kceu and sharp In practice, energetic to an annoying degree, and perhaps boisterous in their clamor of one sort or another, who never lnugli joyously or sincerely or attempt any playful raillery. Home Is responsible for their unnatural hardness and ma turity, nnd parental example has de prived them of the jolly spontaneity proper to their years. Our human lives and mutual Inter course might well tjke pattern from the iovely aspect of midsummer na ture, whose smiling face expresses joy even when clouds pile darkly on the , horizon. The whole earth seems full of jollity, and in the deep shadow of tho woods we yet hear the luughiug fiow of running streams. Tho Art of Coloring Pearls. Pearls can be made of various colors by a simple process. Each mollusk deposits its own sort of nacre. The nacre of the fresh-water mussel is pluk. Pearl oysters will produce black, gray or pure white pearls, according to tho part of the auimal where the nucleus is lodged. At the National museum in Washington there is an artificial pearl of exquisite jfink color as large as a pigeon's egg. Parisian jewelers nre very clever in the art of "peeling" pearls. They will take a pearl that Is not pretty, re move its outer coat and reveal a beau tiful gem within. A pearl is composed of alternate layers of nacre aud aui mal tissue, and the process of peeling is very difficult. The tools employed are a sharp knife, various sorts of files, pearl powder and a piece of leather. The pearly coats nre extreme ly "hard aud must be cut off piece by piece, the operator relying more ou the sense of touch convoyed by the blade of the knife than ou the souse of sight. Pearls found Imbedded hi tho mother of pearl of the oyster shell are made marketable by skillful treatment with acids. Experts know how to make pearls of any color, black by a hath of nitrate of silver, and by ether chemical means they can turn them to rose color, iilnc or gray. Pearls of those uuusual tints bring fancy prices. Slender Cadet Turner. Senator McComas lia3 succeeded in having the physical disqualification of Herman S. Turner for admission to the Naval Academy waived, aud the young man has entered the school. lie Is cousiderably more than six feet tall, but wns said to weigh less than 100 pouuds. He was threateued with re jection ou this account, hut the Sen ator came to Ids rescue and found that Turner's father, a robust man, was of similar physique in his youth, and that there was every reason to believe that the new cadet would de velop into a strong man with the physical training given at Annapolis.— Baltimore Sum "The milk of human kindness is too often condeused. •era "What Money Will l>o. If I'd a million dollars, Right straight off I'd surely try To hire a substitute to fret About the clothes I buy; He'd have to purchase all my Garb and try it on —you see, , A wondrous lot of worry this great J Scheme would lift from me. —Chicago Record-Herald. Overstocked. "Wliy is It that pessimists seem to have so much trouble?" "Optimists never borrow any."— Chicago Record-Herald. Discovered There Were Others. lie (sadly)—"l can remember when you used to say I was all the world to you." She—"Perhaps; hut I've studied as j tronomy since!"— Puck. Art Ahead of Nature. Trained Canary—"l can draw buck ets of water and fire off a cannon." Toy Canary—'"Pooh! Watch me. I can make one wing go round one way and the other wing go round the other way." Not Necessarily. "Maria, your extravagance will ruin me. Didn't you tell 1110 before we were married you could live comforta bly on 910 a week?" "Yes, but you didn't expect me to do It, did you, John?"— Chicago Tribune. Amiability. "Sympathy," remarked the man who gets Bour, "doesn't do the slightest good in the world." "Then why did you listen to it?" "Oh, there is 110 use in being ill-na tured. It always seems to please the person who is extending it." A Conversazione. Stuffed Cat—".Mr. Owl, are you as wise as you look?" Stuffed Owl—"Goodness, no; wise people never give themselves away by looking wise. Say, if you get hungry, don't Jump ou me, because I'm half full o' cheap moth halls." Naturally Ha lla<l a Fit. "What's the matter with the poor fellow? Is he a victim of epilepsy?" "No. lie has Just received a tele gram from his wife, who says she and the children will start home from the seashore next week, aud she doesu't ask him to seud money to pay their way back." * Obedient Child. "Johnnie, your hair Is wet. You've been swimming again." "I fell In 111a!" "Nonsense. Y'our clothes are per fectly dry." "Yes'ni. I know'd you didn't want me to wet 'em, so I took 'em off before I fell in."—Tit-Bits. Extremes. ' Mrs. Crawford—"So you haven't found the course of lectures on cooking you attended to he of much practical use?" Mrs. Crabshaw—"No, my dear. They either told you how to prepare terra pin and canvas hack, or else how to live on lifteeu cents a day."—Life. Inviting Interest. "We must do something," said the intellectual lady, "to get women uni versnlly Interested in social science." "Well," answered the man who is ever ready with suggestions, "perhaps It would be a good Idea to have the shops advertise special bargains in works on political economy."—Wash ington Star. Knew liar History. A small child was asked who were the survivors from the flood. "Noah, Shern and Ham." she said. "l'es," replied her mother, "and who else?" The child paused for a moment in thought. Then a brilliant Idea struck her: "And," she added, "Joan of Arc." -Tit-Bits. Envy. "Did you ever know," said Mrs. Bllllkins, "that we have an automo bile?" "Oh," replied Mrs. Knflyppe, "is that what you call It? I saw you out riding Sunday, but I supposed it was a seeoud-haud steam' roller you might have got at a bargain some where." —Chicago Record-Herald. Little Edna's King. "Where did you get your pretty ring, Edna?" asked a visitor of a bright four-year-old miss. "Brother Will gave it to me," she answered. "Is It a diamond?" queried the visi tor. "Well, I should tliluk it ought to he," was the indignant retort. "It cost thirty-nine cents."—Chicago News. An Aside Remark. "Here's a good one," said the man from Denver. "What's the difference between a pen aud a pencil? Give it up? A pen has to ho driven, hut a pencil has to be lead. See?" "The automatic bell buoy beats 'em both," murmured a quiet little chap who had got ou at Cleveland. "It rights itself."—Philadelphia Press. Overheard In a Hammock. Elsie (reflectively)—" Jack gave mo sueli an awfully affectionate glance last night at the Simpsons' dinner." Eliso (horrified) "Oh, poor Elsie! How shocking of him! What did you do, dear?" Elsie (still reflectively)—"As I really had no use for it I felt the only thing left to do was to return it to ulm at once."—New York Commercial Adver tiser.
Significant historical Pennsylvania newspapers