Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, February 25, 1901, Image 4
j S GASTORIA I | : ror Infants and Children. rASTORIA The Kind You Have \kp 23 J Always Bought ANtgetablePrcparalionforAs- q _ similating the Food andßegula- f / ling the Stomachs andßowels of JjGcirS tllG m t BESOIBi A f^tw Promotes Digestion, Cheerfu- Js lip ness and Rest.Contains neither r }p . w Opium.Morphine nor Mineral. 01 #|\ \j NOT NAHC OTIC . | I! U. IT Tiuipe afOlttJJi-StWUELPtTCIIEfI if t \#\. HmyJcui SettL" v A Jw Ihifhcth' Salts J JkpL Jn P sUtise .SWd * I a II ll & Heppemwit - ) |A 4 I \ a /// CmtiMtaleSocta * | ll ■ID flGfrpSfgd - 1 ;J| \ \ ■ Chmfiett Sugnr I J&Ja. <8 g <u navor. / I j| Aperfecl Remedy forConstipa |ll sV O U Ron, Sour Stomach, Diarrhoea (| I It" Worms .Convulsions .Feverish- I RF STrtt* Hsr t ness and Loss OF SLEEP. f0 jf yV H V Facsimile Signature oT HLKUUSJ.III I rt " BarS "HEAP SMELL." The Indian Knew What He Wanted and Where to Get It. Some Indians from Buffalo Bill's "W 11(1 West, arrayed in bright colored blankets and an exceptional amount of face paint, were taking in the sights of the city one afternoon. They stroll ed down Walnut street, single lile. and, headed by a buck who now and then gave a grunt of satisfaction when some- ' thing that pleased him caught his eye, they halted in front of a drug store gazed at the window display for a moment. Then the band tiled into the establishment ami began to look around. The clerk thought the place was go- I lug to be besieged and that he was like- j ly to lose his scalp, hut when the "big chief," who acted as spokesman, ad- | dressed him with the customary Indian greeting of "How!" the clerk regained j his composure enough to ask the Indi- ; an what, he wanted. "Heap smell," was the re^ly. Directed by the Indian's linger to a showcase, the clerk produced a bar of soap. The brave took It gingerly, re moved the wrapper, smelled it and bit into the toothsome looking article. With a deep grunt of displeasure he handed it back to the drug clerk. V'ith a disgusted look he remarked, "Heap smell!" The clerk began to tremble, and the Indian pointed to a perfume bottle in the showcase. The bottle of perfume was handed to him. The Indian hold it In both hands for a moment, closely scrutinizing it. He slowly removed the stopper, closely watching it as if 1 ho expected it to explode, and took a 1 long sniff at the bottle, gave a grunt of satisfaction, handed the clerk some money and led his hand of braves out of the store, to the delight of the fright ened clerk, who had not been in the practice of waiting on real Indians.— Kansas City Journal. Why IIIn I.Wn* n Failure. "Yes, I consider my life a failure." "Oh, Henry, how sad! Why should you say that?" "I spent all my time making money enough to buy food and clothes, and the food disagrees with me, and my clothes don't fit."—Life. II im Fervent Hope. Mrs. Sleepyize Henry, the alarm clock just went off. Mr Sleepyize—Thank goodness! I hope the thlng'U never coiue back.— Ohio State Journal. A powerful engine cannot be run with a weak boiler, and we can't keep up the strain of an active life with a weak stomach: neither can we stop the human | machine to make repairs. If the stom- j ach cannot digest enough food to keep | tho body strong, such a preparation us j Kodoi Dyspepsia Cure should bo used. : It digests what you eat and it. simply : can't help but do you good. Grover's Citv drug store. " j Dyspepsia Cure Digests what you eat. It artificially digests the food and aids Nature in strengthening and recon structing the exhausted digestive or gans. It lstho latestdiscovereddigest ant and tonic. No other preparation can approach it in etlicieucy. It in stantly relievesarul permanently cures Dyspepsia, Indigestion, Heartburn, Flatulence, bout Stomach, Nausea, Sick Headache, Gastralgia.Crampsand 1 all other results of imperfect digestion. Price 50c. and sl. torse site contains 2% times tmuUsizo. Book all about dyspcpsiaumlledtree Prepared by E. C. DeWITT&CO< cp'cago. Urovcr's City Drug Store. ANECDOTES OF FORREST. Wliy Hie Confelernt* Loader Declin ed to Correct His SpellftiiK. "General Forrest of the Confederate army," said an ex-Con federate officer, "was a military genius of the first rank. Without previous training or any developed taste in that direction he went into the army from a place as overseer and attained commanding rank absolutely by merit. Rough and uncouth at first, he became in later life a courtly gentleman whom it was a pleasure to meet ami to know. I re member on one occasion some time aft er tin? war coining up the l'otomac with him I wanted to introduce a young woman who was under my es cort. He said he was flattered by the request, but that he could not meet her unless she knew perfectly well who he was and that he was not held in high esteem by the northern people chiefly on account of the Fort Pillow affair. I assured him that she was ful ly apprised of bis record, and then he went with me to meet her, and she told me later she had never met a more at tractive m'an. "Earlier in his career —that is, he fore he had learned to spell— ho was asked by a young lady to put bis auto graph in her album. He wrote his name as requested and under it his title, 'ma jor general of calvary,' as he spelled it The lady called his attention to it in a very delicate way, and he looked at it a moment, ami with a full conscious ness that lie was lacking in that regard and with a beautiful and scarcely to be expected humility he said, 'Let it stand to show how ignorant General Forrest is.' There are not many men who would have done that, I imagine, and it was tbe little tilings that showed the man's true greatness."- New York Sun. "A* Mnd fit* a Hatter." Probably very few persons who fre quently use the expression "As mad as a hatter" have any idea as to what it means or why a hatter is necessarily any more subject to fits of anger than a plumber, a blacksmith or a carpen ter. The expression is said to have come into use half a century ago, when the manufacture of hats was done wholly by hand. The most striking thing about the process was that of the beating up of the felt. The hatter first dipped the mass of wool and hair fre quently into hot water; then, seizing a stick in each hand, he belabored the mass most vigorously, stopping now and then to get his breath, until the material was matted together in a rough sort of felt. The lively beating administered to the felt, as if the work man were actually incensed, gave rise to Hie familiar simile. An 1 IM'YI'II Contest. "They had a lively boxing match at Splinter's the other night." "How was that?" "Splinter came home late, and as he passed through the hall his wife's tall est palm touched him on the cheek. Splinter was in an excited condition and thought it was somebody's fingers. So he struck out wildly with both fists and succeeded in knocking over two palms and severely bumping his own head." "But why do you call it a boxing match?" "Because Splinter put up his knuc kles against his wife's palms."—Cleve land Plain Dealer. Recent experiments show that all classes of foods may lie completely di gested by a preparation called Kodoi Dyspepsia Cure, which absolutely digests what you eat. As it is the only combi nation of all the natural digest-ants ever devised the demand for ii has become enormous. It has never failed to cure the very worst cases of indigestion and it always gives instant relief, tirover's , City drug store. A LIGHT IX THE YARD MRS. GALLUP RECOGNIZES IN IT HER SUMMONS TO HEAVEN. Cut Site Fulls to Get Any Irforma tion From Her liiiMlinnd nn to the Manner In Which She Should Act When She Filters Her Home Among the Angels. [Copyright, 1900, by C. B. Lewis.] When Mr. Gallup sat down for the evening, he had his newspaper on his knee and Mrs. Gallup was singing "Rock of Ages" arul clearing away the supper table. He had been reading for a quarter of an hour when she quietly entered and sat down and said: "Samuel, I don't want to disturb you nor make you feel bad, but I feel oblig ed to ask you a few questions. Last night at midnight Mrs. Watkins saw a light moving around in our back yard. It was a light which bobbed up and bobbed down and dodged this way and that, and when it Anally went out it gave a great wink and a splutter. It was what they call a ghost lantern, Samuel, and it meant that there would be deatli in this house within a week. It'll be my death, of course. I've got 27 different ailments, with heart dis ease throwed in, while you are as healthy as a cornfield. Yes; it'll be me, but I'm not weepln over It. I'm slttln right here ns calm as catnip, but I want to know some few things." Mr. Gallup must have known of licr presence, but lie was too deeply inter ested In his paper to recognize it. lie had found an article which said that a bedbug could be boiled in water for four hours and then come out with his ambition undaunted. "I shall go to heaven when I die, of course," continued Mrs. Gallup as her voice broke a little. "1 orter go there. Any woman who has whitewashed the cellar every spring for 27 years, be sides makin soft soap, cuttin carpet rags, dyein over old clothes and makin one corset Inst her for 13 years, will go to heaven on the jump. What bothers IN RIGHT HBRB AS< AIM AS CATN IT." me, however, is how I'm goin to act arter 1 git there. You know how com pany alius fiustrates me. If three or four of the neighbors come in, I'm al most sure to fall off my cheer or knock over suntliin. How's it goin to be when I git up there and meet a hull pasture full of angels? There'll be millions of 'em, Samuel, and they'll all be lookln at me and wonderin who I am, and I'll be so upsot that I'll fall over my own feet." She paused to wipe the tears from her eyes with the palm of her hand, but as she had asked no direct ques tions Mr. Gallup finished arti cle and turned to one on the care of clotheslines. "I don't want to be looked at and p* in ted cut and made fun of up there," suid Mrs. Gallup as she sat with her eyes on the carpet. "All night long last night I couldn't sleep for tliinkin that some of the angels would turn up their noses at me and want to know what on nirth I was doin there. You remember Sarah Jane Blxby, who died two years ago? Sarah was snippy and sassy. If she went to heaven, it would be jest lier way to want to know why I'd come flyin up there, with my rheuiuatiz and back aches. I'd have to sass her back, and then what would happen? Angels <lo sass each other sometimes, don't they, Samuel?" If Mr. Gallup had ever given the mat ter a thought, he was too busy to dis cuss It. The statement was right be fore his eyes that 1,000,0(H) miles of clothesline went to destruction every year for want of being hung up in the wood shed when not In use, and he was reflecting on the carelessness of hu manity in general. "I may git up to heaver In the night, when all the angels are asleep, and so I'll slip in all right 1 hope that'll be ' the way, because it'll give me a chance to kind o' git used to the place before daylight. l>o yoU think they have any ; breakfast up there? Mrs. Watkins says j they don't, but 1 don't really see how they git along without it. 1 know 1 ; | should feel a goneness all day without ; j breakfast. And I want you to look at me, Samuel, and see if I'm the hum ; blyest woman ever born. 1 have read ! that when we die we are changed as in | the twinklin of an eye. I hope it's so. j If it ain't, then 1 can't expect no good i times up there. Them angels will be p'intin out my lop shoulder, my big I feet and my wabbly knees and vvbis- i perin to each other that I'd better staid down on airth among the cabbages. I Nobody as knows me can call me obstl ! nate or sot, but I'll be snummed if 1 j propose to die and become an angel to I be made fun of. You'll be on my side ; about that, won't you?" Mr. Gallup heaved a long sigh and seemed about to speak, but no word j came, lie bad finished with the clothes- ; •line and struck an. article about the reasonlug powers of the crow, and the most direct question from Mrs. Gallup would have passed unheeded. Iter tears fell for two or three minutes, and then she asked: i "And how about the beds up there? j You know we've slept on a feather bed ever since we was married, and I've alius bin particular to smooth it down from head to foot. I've got used to feathers, and If I changed off I'd jest lay there and kick around all night long. Do they hev beds, Samuel, or do they keep on flyin around all night long and slngln "I've Reached My Home at j Last?" Seems to me that flyin and slngln all day would be enough unless I feel stronger than I do now. You orter know these things, Samuel, and you orter tell me so I'll know what to ; depend on. I might stand sass from a thousand angels, but I do want my own bed when night comes, and if one | of my headaches comes on unexpected ! ly I want to know that I kin hev a cup of tea. Mrs. Watkins says they don't drink tea in heaven, but I don't see | how she kin know." Mr. Gallup was not directly appealed to. and as lie was reading that a crow had been known to feign fleath to avoid having a crowbar thrown at him he made no sign. "Waal, I've made up my mind to a I few things," said Mrs. Gallup as the si- I lence grew painful. "I'm goin up to heaven to do the best I kin. I'll be | nayburly with all the angels I meet and let 'em understand that I don't want no more'n my share of harps and j wings and things. If I don't find any l thin to eat or any beds to sleep on. I shan't raise no fuss nor go into hyster ics, the way Mrs. Taylor did at camp , meetin last year. Yes; I'll put up with | things as I find 'em and make the best I of it, and I won't be jealous if a few of I 'em hev better clothes on or kin sing better'n me. That's how I'll act, Sam uel, and then if they pick on me they'll i gil as good as they give. I kin be | sassed and picked on jest so fur, but | arter that they want to look out. Would it put you out any, Samuel, if I ; died at night instead of in the daytime? As I said, if I died at night I could slip Into heaven without any fuss, but if it's goin to make you any extra trouble I I'll perish by daylight. What will be ; the most convenient hour fur you?" I There was deep silence. Mrs. Gal | lup's teajs made no thud as they fell ; upon the carpet, and Mr. Gallup was | reading with bated breath that an os trich covers 13 feet of ground at every stride when in full flight. The clock | ticked, the silence grew deeper, and the cricket on the hearth fell into a doze. Then Mr. Gallup suddenly laid aside his paper, stretched his arms and legs, with a "Ho-huin!" and looked around to find Mrs. Gallup asleep in her chair. She hadn't gone to join the angels—not yet. M. QUAD. THE KING OF HANDCUFFS. How Harry Houilinl, American, Sur prined the llritlnh. I When Ilarry lloudini, the American king of handcuffs, arrived in England, he tried to arrange for an exhibit of his skill at Scotland Yard, but the authorities refused to allow him an opportunity of putting on or taking off' official handcuffs, says London M. A. 1\ So, accompanied by a skeptical London manager, he paid an ordinary i call as an American visitor to the police headquarters. Mr. Houdini, after making the usual remarks on everything he saw and heard, casually asked a question about a pair of hand cuffs. The guide took them down and answered: "Oh, these are handcuffs impossible to remove." lloudini was greatly interested, and the incident closed b>' the American i visitor requesting his guide to lock the ! handcuffs on his wrists. Then he ; turned his back und succeeded in get ting them off in a couple of minutes. , One of Houdinl's strangest adven tures happened at a big hotel In St. Paul, Minn., where be was very well known. To his surprise, he found that a couple of men occupying the rooms on either side of his own appeared to he mounting guard over him. At first he only suspected this, but after a few , days he was perfectly sure that one or the other of his neighbors shadowed ids every movement. One afternoon, I when Houdini was sitting in his own room, he heard the sound of scuffling outside the door. Flinging it open, he discovered his two unknown friends grasping a third man, who had evi dently been wearing a long dark cape j that was dragged on one side, showing ! that he was heavily handcuffed. ; "We're a couple of detectives, Mr. | Houdini," panted one of the men. ! "This fellow made his escape from jail j some days ago. We knew that be wouldn't dare to go to a locksmith to get his handcuffs removed, and we suspected that he might come to you." Sunday Hahlta. The average man does himself so much harm on Sunday that he docs I not recover until the following Wednes day. In the first place, he loafs around the house, instead of being ac tive. ns on weekdays. In the next place, he eats ids breakfast later than usual, and ills dinner earlier, and the result is that he is knocked out until Wednesday. The best thing to do on Sunday is to eouforri to your usu: I habits as much as possible.—Atchison Globe. A Poller From the Small Hoy. I Mamma—Don't boil tliose canned pous, Bridget. They only want to be warmed. Little Tommy—Mamma, peas can't I talk, ran they? I Mamma—Of course not, dear. Why? , ! Little Tommy—Then how do you know what they want?— Philadelphia j Press. j A man has no more right to say an uncivil thing than to act one, no more ! right to say a rude thing to another ! than to knock him down. '! The first time a man Is appoitKed on 1 a "committee" he Is very ppt to think [ his position a very important one.— ' I Atchison Globe. p Not at Half-Price i Nor Below Cost 8 are our goods sold. We j* couldn't remain in busi ness long if we followed anything else but busi ness methods. We sell | Shoes for Men, Women and Children, | Hats and Caps for Men and Boys, B Furnishings for Men and Boys, j* A at prices which are as A cheap, and quite frequent ly cheaper, than others A ask for the same quality. q Give us a trial purchase A and let us convince you A that here is a store where Jj your money can be spent nx to your advantage. li H V 0X £ McMENAMIN'S 0X - X Gents' Furnishing, 5; Hat and Shoe Store, 0X X X 86 South Centre Street. H X 0 0X X*XOXOXOXOXOXOX*XOXOXOXOX#XOXO%OXtXOXOXjrXOXfiX*XO O\pXOXOXOXOXOXO%OXyi%.O*OXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO*O*O\O\ £ xn Slate hm lm East StroiuUburff, Pa. Tho Winter term of this popular institution for the training- of teachers opens J n. UHll. This practical training seliool for touchers is located in the most healthful ami charming part of the state, within the great summer rt sort region of the state, on the main line of tho I). L. & W. Kail road. Unexcelled facilities; Music, Elocutionary, College Preparatory, Sewing ami .Modeling departments. Superior faculty; pupils coached free; pure mountain water; rooms furnished through out: (lOt)I) BOARDING A RECOGNIZED FEATURE. We are the only normal school that paid the state aid in full to uil its pupils this spring term. Write for a catalogue and full information while this advertisement is before you. We have something of interest for you. Address, fSKO. P. 11l OLE. A. M.. Principal. \ The Gure that Cures 7 Coughs, & \ Colds, j |) Grippe, (k \ Whooping Cough, Asthma, 1 Bronchitis and Incipient jl jj' Consumption, Is fotlo'sl Q The German remedy* £ *T Wwoslt at\4 \vit\n J Wilkes-Bar re Record Is the Best Paper iti Northeastern Pennsylvania.... It contains Complete Local, Tele graphic and (ieneral News. Prints only the News that's fit to Print... 50 Cents a Month, ADDRESS. $0 a Year by Mail The Record, or Carriers WILKES-BARRE. p. Condy 0. Boyle, dealer In LIQUOR, WINE, BEER, PORTER, ETC. The finest brands of Domestic and Imported Whiskey on sale. Fresh Rochester and Shen andoah Beer and Porter on tap. 08 Centre street. Boat Cough Syrup. Tamos Good. Use M In time. Sold by drtißclnt?. •* nAi_hOAD 7 IIViE I AtiLLb Lehigh valley kailkoah November 26, 19U0. AKHANULMENT OK i'AHHfcMlfch i It A IMb LEAVE Fit ICELAND. ' b 12 a m for Weutberly, Aluuch Chunk, Ailcniown, bcilileliein, Eustou, Phila delphia and New 7 oik. ' 7 40 u m loi buhuy Uun, White Huveh. Wilkes-Barre, Pit Ist on ami scranion. i 'lB a ui lor iiuzlelou, Mulmuoy Lily, > sheuunuouh, Ashiunu. Weatherly, Niuuch Chunk. Audio wn, lk-ihiebein. . Eusiou, i'liiiudciphtu uLid New \ ork. [ .iO a in lor Huzlctou, Aiuhunoy City, Sin n- uudoab, t. Curiuei, Sbuiuukiu and [ 2Mp iu lor Bandy ituu, White Haven, W likes-liar re, Scruulou and all points W eat. A 20 |> in lor Weutberly, Munch Chunk, Al icniowu, Rcihicheui, haston, Philadel phia uuu New \ ork. . 42 i ui lor iiuzlelou, Mulianoy City, Shen andoah, Mi. Cuniiel, Shauioklii and I'oLLaville, Weatherly, Munch I lunik, Alientowii, Bethlehem, Law ion, Phila delphia ui■<] New l ork. 34 P iu lor Bandy Kun, White Hu\en, Wilkes-Bar re, serauiou and ull point# t 29 pui lor liitzletou, Mulianoy City, Shen andoah, Mi. CwimcJ uud Shuiuukin. i AitltlVK AT CHEELAND. 7 40 a in troui Weatherly, Cottaville, Asli jand, Sbouuudottii, Muhunoy City and d 17 u m from Philadelphia, Easton, Hcthle heui, Allentowu, Maucli A hunk, Weuth eriy, iiuzlelou. Muliunoy City, Sheuan douii, Ait. C'urinel auu sliauiokin. ' 30 u in iroiii scruuton, W likes-Burro and White Haven. 12 14 p in iroiu Pottsville, Shamokin, Mt. Cariuel, Muhunoy City and iiuzlelou. 1 12 P in lroin New Vork, Philadelphia, Kublon, Bethlehem, Alientowii, Mauch Chunk aud Weatherly. 4 42 p in Iroiu scrauton, Wilkes-Burro and >V hite iiaveu. 3 34 l> ui iroiu New York, Philadelphia, Euston, iiethlehein, Alientowii, I'otts viile, Shuinokin, Mt. Cariuel, Shenan doah, Muliunoy City unu Huzicton. 7 29 1 ui from Scruuton, Wilkes-Hurru ami White iiaveu. for lurther intorination inquire of Ticket \ gents .UL.CIN H.WI LUCK, General Superintendent, 2b Cortluudt street. New York City. CHAS. S. LLE. Generui Passenger Agent, 21. Cortiandt Street New York City. G. J.GILDItuY, Division Superintendent, Huzletou, Pa. iiJK DkLAWAKK, SUBQIJEHANNA AND KCHUVLKILL KAILKOAD. I Time table iu eflect April 18, 1897. Trains leave Drlftou lor Jeddo, Kekiey, Hazle | brook, Sfbckton, Heaver Meadow Hoad, Koan j and ilazlcton Junction at & 30, i 00 a in, daily I Acept Sunday; and 708 a ni, 238p m, Sunday, 'i rains leave Drilton for Jiarwood,Cranberry, i oinhieken and Deriuger at 6 30, 8 uu a in, daily oxoept Sunday; and 703 a in, 238 p m, Sun 'irains leave Drifton for Oneida Junction, tiarwood Itoad, Humboldt ltoud, Oneida uud heppton at 600 a m, daily except Sun day; and 703 a m,2 38 pm, Sunday, i raiiis leave Hazleton Junction for Harwood, runberry, Tomhickun and Deriuger at 836 a n, daily except Sunday; and 8 53 a m, 4 22 p m, Sunday. Trains leave Hazleton Junction for Oneida Junction, Garwood itoad, Humboldt Itoad, Oneida and Sheppton at 0 02.1110 a m, 44J p in, daily except Sunday; and 787 a in, 311 pm. umday. Trains leave Deriuger for Tom hick n, Cran berry, Hai wood, Hazleton Junction and 'loan it 2 25, 540 pm, duily except Sunday; ana :• 87 a m, 6 0? p m, Buuduy. Triune leave sheppton for Oneida, Humboldt itoad, Harwood ltoud, Oneida Junction, Hazle ton J unction a* d ltoan at 711 am, 12 40, 622 p m, duily except Sunday; and 8 1J a m, 3 44 p m, Sunday. Trains leave Sheppton for Rearer Meadow Itoad, Stockton. Hazle Brook, Kckley, Jeddo and Drilton at 6 22 p m, duily, except Sunday; and 8 11 a in, 3 4-1 p ni, Sunday. Trains leave Hazleton Junction for Beaver Meadow Itoad, Stockton, Hazle Brook, Eokley, Jeddo and Drifton at 5 45, 020 p in, daily, except Sunday; and 10 10 a in, 5 40 p ui, Sunday. ! All trains connect at Hazleton Junction with 1 | electric ears tor Hazleton, .1 eanesvilie, Auden ( rled and other points on the Traction Com- I t-any's line. Trains leaving Drifton at 5 80, 8 00 a ui niaki com motion at Dci ingvi with IV It. Ji i rail s < : Wilkeaharre, Hunbury llarrisbiirv - MO T OIT.I Cor the accommodation of pu*Mcrigcr> at , stations between Huzleloi Junction and ! • < tnger, a train will leave the former point u ;i0 p m, daily, except Sunday, arriving Derlngrer atoo p m. 1 LUTUfiK 0. SMITH, Superintendeat,