Freeiam! Tribune
Established 1888.
PUBLISHED EVERY
MONDAY AND THURSDAY,
BY IKB
niIBUNE PRINTING COMPANY, IMlSfl
OIVICE: MAIN STREET AMOVE CKSTBE.
FREELAND, PA.
SlTßsCltlf'i'lON KATES:
On© Year $1.50
Bix Month* 73
Four Mon.hs
Two Months .25
Tho late which the subscription is paid to
Is on tno address label of each paper, the
ohAnge of which to a subsequent date bo
bomes a receipt for remittance. Keep th€
figures in aiivunce of the present date. Re
port promptly to this office whenever paper
& not received. Arrearages must be puid
when subscription is discontinued.
Ma!>eall muwy orders, checks, etc.,payabl.
to the Tribune Frintinj Company, Limited.
It is predicted that our wholo re
maining area of white-pine forests will
be practically denuded within five
years.
A man with three lungs has beon
discovered in Canada. Happy man!
He can live to a healthy old ago and
keep an extra lung to have the pueu
mouia with.
The cost of the railways in the
United States up to 1897 was $11,•
775,000,000. That of tho world was
$35,520,000,000. This country stood
it the head of the list, theu came
Great Britain, then France.
A consular report from Germany
gives the statistics of shipbuilding for
1899, showing that England ranked
first with 881,000 tons more thau all
tho other countries put together, with
Germauy second and the Uuited States
third. _____
A ceutury and a half ago "fun," n
word of Irish origiu, was considered
"shockingly low." "Mob," too, was
a word "no solf-respucting gentleman
would use" till Pope boldly wrote,
"the mob of gentlemen who write with
case." Of "humbug," a writer in
1750 said: "I will venture to affirm
that this 'Humbug' is neither an Eng
lish word nor a derivative from any .
other lauguage. It is, indeed, a black
guard sound. It is a fine makeweight
in conversation, aud some great men
deceive themselves so egregiously as
to thiuk they mean something by it."
In many sections of Indiana the
farmers aro planning to name the
country roads, as streets are named
in a city. The purpose is to ereel
guide-posts at every cross-roads which
would direct a strauger in finding his
way to a farm-house with which he is
unfamiliar. Instead of numbering the
houses aloug tho country highways, it
is suggested that each farmer attach
his name near the front gate. This
idea is carried out to sorno extent id
tho oil regions of the State, where
uearly every farm has a largo red
barn, ou which is conspicuously
painted tho name of the man who
owns it. The plan is worthy of wide
imitation.
Opeu-air treatment for consumption
in its earlier stages appears to bo the
best so far hit upon. The continuous
flooding of tho lungs with purer and
cooler air is tho desideratum. The
natural life out of doors provides this.
Sleeping iudoors, tho windows should
be opcu wide. Mauy doctors pro
nounce the sanatorium system a fail
ure, aud despair of any stamping-out
process except by educating the young
to live a hygienic life. It is certain
that consumption is not hereditary,
Hiough the tendency to harbor the
gorma maybe. That tendency maybe
lesseued or even destroyed by a thor
ough observance of the rules of a
healthy life.
Ordinary observation verifies one
fact, that the trolley, the telephone
and tho bicycle are greatly increasiug
the suburban population of the smaller
cities. They have nourished the re
turning love of country life by render
ing it possible for people of moderate
means, who, from either calling 01
disposition, desire to live within roach
of a city or tov/u, to have such a resi
dence. This of itself is an encourag
ing sign, for the choice of a suburban
home is as often one of preference as 1
of economy. Whatever draws people
out iuto tho open, arresting the set
toward tho stifling closeness of block
and tenement, is obviously healthful,
tbiuks tho New York Po9t.
Favorablfi Conditions in India.
In spite of the plague, famine and oth
er troubles, the financial condition ol
India, as shown by the latest official
figures, is far more favorable than was
expected. There is an actual surplus
of £2.553,000. against the estimate o|
£2.622.000 made a year ago. There
was a loss of land revenue due to famine
of £1.187.000, but against that has to be
put improvements in railway receipts
of £824.000: in postoffice, telegraph and
mint receipts of £423.000 and in opium
revenue of £401,000.
CHAPARRAL.
BY EDWARD B. CLARK.
i D |
your mind a grass
leas stretch of
/jt' /\\ country with
groat cracks
showing in the
sun-baked earth,
ss74 with here and
*JK/ there a stunted,
Sjfcy* ■- a * leafless tree, aud
*39 upon a hillock
a little way off
(V a gaunt, gray wolf
silhouetted
against the sky,
and you will have some idea of the
nature of one part of the country
through which for two years the United
States regulars inarched and scouted
in the attempt to kill or capture a baud
of notorious bandits.
If you should ride some hours over
this desolate waste you would couie
at length to a dense woodland of chap
arral, au almost impenetrable thorny
thicket which stretches for many
leagues aloug the Rio Grande River
and extends miles inland from either
bank. Since the time seven years
ago when Uncle Sam's cavalrymen
dually succeeded in rounding up and
punishing the outlaws the face of that
southeastern Texas country has
ohaugcd. Rain, which nature had
denied to the spot for nearly two
years, lias again visited the region.
Verdure has again appeared and the
dried earth has drunk to its 1111 with
rejoicing.
There was a man with Mexican
parentage, but, a citizen of the United
States, Cateriuo E. Garza by name,
who it was thought iutended to en
gage in an attempt looking to the
driving of President Diaz of Mexico
from his oflice and to the establishing
of himself in the presidential chair,
Garza did not have enough followers
in his first raid to cause much anxiety
to the Mexican authorities. After a
tight on Mexican territory the leader,
with about two hundred men, re
treated into Texas and there for two
years hid in the dense thickets along
tho river, making occasional forays
and doing a great amount of smug
gling. Uncle Saui put a number of
regiments in the field to bunt down
tho outlaws, but owiug to the nature
of the country aud their familiarity
with the trails tho hunt was a long
one. It was during this campaign
against the outlaws that Trooper
Thomas of D Troop of tho Third Cav
alrvhad the experience of which this
story tells.
Captain George F. Chase, now
lighting insurgents ill the Philippines,
was in command of D Troop in the
field against tho baudits. The little
body of troopers was encamped at a
ranch about thirteen miles from tho
edge of the chaparral, through the
heart of which at a distance of thirty
live miles lay the Rio Grande River.
One morning before the last star bad
disappeared from the southern sky a
scout rode hurriedly to camp. Ho
threw himself from his horse at the
challenge from tho sentinel and said
he must see tho commanding officer at
once. Theriuging toned "Who comes
there?" of tho sentry as he checked
tho progress of* the rider at the point
of his carbino roused Captaiu Chase,
and in a minute he was confronting
tho scout, who reported that there
was a gathering of Garza's men just
within tho chaparral near the ranch
called St. Gertrude, something more
than twelve miles away. Within
ten miuutos the communing officer
and two-thirds of his troop were gal
loping in the direction indicated by
tho scout. At St. Gertrude's ranch,
whose southern boundary was the
edge of tho chaparral, the captain
dismounted his men and threw them
into a skirmish line with au interval of
about two yards between each skir
misher. In this order the lino went
forward into the chaparral. Just as
the men entered tho outlying edge of
the thorny thicket a volley was poured
into them, but no one was hurt. They
Advanced several hundred yards into
the dense tangle of mosquito, prickly
pear and other thorn-growing south
ern vegetation, and tiually found the '
place where tho enemy had camped.
The bandits, however, bad disap
peared, and pursuit through that laby
rinth was a physical impossibility.
On the extreme light of the skir
mish line was Trooper Thomas. So
thick was the undergrowth that he
could not see, save at times, the skir
misher on his left, only two yards dis
tant. Thomas lost his direction a
little and managed to get farther away
from his nearest comrade than the
order for the skirmish lino formation
demanded. Suddenly there came the
clear, ringing trumpet order: "As
semble 011 tbo centre skirmisher."
This meant that the men at tho right 1
and left of tho center should turn and
march directly toward the centre, thus
eventually bringing the command
shoulder to shoulder in close order.
Trooper Thomas turned and headed,
as he supposed, for the sound of the
trumpet. He heard his nearest com
rade thrashing through tho thicket
and supposed that he was following
close in his wake. Ho soon found
that ho was getting farther and farther
away from tho noise of tho cracking
underbrush. Then ho turned in a
uew direction aud floundered on. For
five minutes he kept up tho pace as
well as he could and was astounded to
find that he had not yot como up with
his comrades. Ho raised his voice
atfd shouted. There was no answer
ing cry. He cocked his carbine, put
it to bis sliouldcr and pressed tbo
trigger aud theu eagerly listened. In
loss than a minute two answering
shots were heard from what seemed
to be a point afai off. Tho density of
the chaparral growth was in itself an
obstacle to the transmission of sound.
Trooper Thomas turned as be sup
posed iu the direction from which the
shot signals came aud once more
fought his way through tho thicket.
He struggled ou for a few minutes
and theu slipped another cartridge
iuto his Springfield and fired. He
listened intently for live minutes, but
no answering discbarge gladdened bis
ear. He fired three more shots iu
rapid succession. Still no answer.
The cavalryman was lo9t iu an almost
impenetrable jnugle, through which
every stop of progress was a toiling
pain aud where there was no means
whatsoever to give him a key to direc
tion. He stood still for a few minutes
to thiuk what was best to do. He
had 110 compass, and while lie knew
that the northern edge of the chaparral
was within a comparatively short dis
tance he had not the remotest idea
whether that edge lay before him, be
hind him or at his right or left. For
two days thick, heavy clouds had ob
scured the sky. They were full of the
promise of rain, which would not
come. Time after time tho few people
living in the region had looked upon
just such lowering clouds with some
gleam of hope that they might let fall
a burden of blessed showers. There
was promise, but no fulfilmeut. The
heavy, murky bank, however, served,
with the aid of the matted canopy of
the chaparral, to prevent the lost
cavalryman from getting auy idea,
however faint, of the position of the
sun. North, south, east aud west
were alike to him.
Trooper Thomas dually determined
to trust to luck, and taking the course
which he thought was right ho worked
his way through the thorny growth.
For two hours he toiled on, and then
iu ! qjair he realized to u certainty
thn ho was hopelessly astray. When
the lino had been deployed Thomas
had left his canteen behind, and he
now begau to sutler severely from
thirst.
Hours passed, and still neither open
ing in the chaparral nor the glint of
water gladdened his eye. The trooper
slipped a cartridge from his belt, aud
taking his knife cut the head bullet
from the brr3s cup. He put the mis
sile in his mouth and it momentarily
relieved his raging thirst.
It was beginniug to grow dusk, and
the soldier realized that lie must spend
the night in the chaparral. He cut
some of tho thick leaves of the prickly
pear, and scraping off the thorns from
the green surface chewed tho pulp for
the slight relief that tho juice afford
ed. Then he cleared a place, and ly
ing down tried to sleep. Physically
worn out though he was, his thirst
and the horror of his situation kept
him awake. Toward morning he had
a little feverish sleep that brought no
rest. As the first streak of daylight
stole into the chaparral the trooper was
oil his feet and ou his way once more.
The puckering juice of the prickly
pear leaves seemed simply to have ag
gravated his thirst, and his suffering
was beginning to bo more intense than
can he expressed in words. Painfully
making his way along, Thomas came
to an open place in the chaparral. At
the farther side of it he hoard a crack
ling, and in a moment a peccary—one
of the little wild hogs of tho Texas
jutigle—broke into tho clearing.
Thomas steadied himself with nil ef
fort. He raised his carbine, aimed
and fired. The shot was a oleau one,
aud tho little wild pig fell dead in its
tracks. To ease the pangs of his
thirst Thomas drank of the animal's
blood, and it gave him strength and
courngo to keep on. The effect of the
drink, however, was not lasting, and
in an hour's time he found himsolf
autiering as keenly as before. Ho
strode along, however, with occasional
rests, all through the morning and
the long afternoon. At night ho was
half delirious with suffering, but the
utter exhaustion of his body forced j
him into slumber. He slept iu a
troubled way for some hours, aud
then, waking, found his suffering so
intense that remaining still was im
v.ible, and through the darkness of
thfit Southern chaparral bo stumbled
on. Finally bo fell from sheer ex
haustion and lay for some time in a
half-dazed condition.
Then the morning came. Little by
little some expression of returning
sense came into the trooper's face,
ile looked straight ahead, and there,
not ten yards in front of him, he saw
that there was a break in tho thicket.
New life came to him in an instant,
and he fuirly dashed through the un
derbrush. Iu a moment he stood at
the chaparral's edge. Before him lay
a great clearing, with a house in its
center. With a cry of joy the soldier
made his way to the buiidiug. It was
desortod. There was not a sign of
life anywhere, and all around, com
pletely inclosing the clearing, ho saw
the chaparral walls. A great wooden
cistern, such as one finds in southern
countries, rose beside the house. In
the times when there had been rain
water had poured from the roof into
the cistern. There was a faucet
six inches from the bottom of the
great tauk. Thomas almost staggerod
as he wont to it aud turned the han
dle. Not a drop of water trickled
out. He was at the verge of despair,
but with that hope which is always
present even at fortune's lowest ebb !
he thought that it was possible that a 1
little water might still remain iu the I
cistern below the point tapped by the
faucet. He climbed upon a shed and 1
from thence to the roof of the dwell- I
ing. The top of tile cistern was cov
ered, save for the small hole into j
which the pipe from the eaves trough I
ran. The trooper tore olf two of the [
rotting boards and looked into the !
cistern depths. Far down, below the
entering place of the spigot he saw i
something glisten. It was water. He
cut strips from his suspenders and !
from his clothing, aud letting down \
an old tin pot that he had found in
the house he managed to draw up a
mouthful of water. It was stagnant j
and ill smelling, but no draught that j
man ever took seemed sweeter to him '
than did that drink of green-coated j
cistern water to Trooper Thomas. He I
let the can down again and again, and i
drank until new life and strength j
came to him. He know that there ;
must be a disused trail leading some- j
where through the ohaparral from the i
oleariug. Ho made a circuit of the j
jungle's edge and finally found the
trail. He knew] not where it would!
lead, but lie knew also that Iris only j
hope lay in following it. He had not j
gone more than a hundred yards be
fore he mettwo Mexicans, who proved
not to belong to the bandit gang. 1
They gave him something to eat, and j
agreed to pilot him baek to the camp j
of his troop. It was then that j
Trooper Thomas made the astounding
discovery that, although he had been I
wandering for forty-eight hours, he j
was not five miles from the place j
where ho had lost the fiank of the
skirmish line. Compassless and with
no landmarks to guide him, he had }
been practically traveling in a circle [
until when, in the half delirium of the I
second night in tho chaparral, ho had
risen, and going blindly ahead had
managed to keep for a while in a
straight line.—Chicago Record.
WHAT A JOURNALIST IS.
llow He DJlTura From it I'laln, Ordinary
Newspaper Man.
After his lecture before the journal
istic class at Cornwall University, a
sophomore asked Eli Perkins when he
became a journalist.
"Never," said Eli, "but I do hope,
after twenty years' more experience, !
to become a newspaper man."
"Well, what is tho difference?" j
asked the sophomore.
"Just this, my sou," said Eli. "A ;
callow reporter calls himself a jour- |
lialist. As George Welshons says, 'in
his first tadpole stage, when his head ;
is swelled,' he is a journalist. If ho I
Anally shows great brain aud indus- j
try, and escapes tho fool-killer, ho
may bocomo a reporter. After years
of study aud toil, and when his brains
are stuffed with wisdom, wit and dis
cretion enough to kill his own editor
ials aud 'make up' a sixteen-page Sun
day edition, then I say he's a nows
paper mau."
"Then this is as high in the profos- |
sion as ho can get?"
* "Yes; he is now at the pinnacle, j
By aud by, when ho gets lazy and
stiff aud old and stupid, they reduce
him to the position of editor.
"An editor is a decayed newspaper j
man with bunions on bis brain, chil- j
blaius on his heart, corns on his ears j
and warts and dyspepsia on his liver, i
The business of tho editor is to sleep
uptown all day and at night he prowls ;
around a newspaper oflice, and at mid- j
night ho takes a blue pencil and assas- j
siuates every bright and readable idea
that the smart reporters have brought
iu during tho day.
"The editor is all epithet, while the j
reporter is all proof. The editor calls
a man a chicken thief and gets sued
for libel, while the isnorter, kodak in
bund, interviews him while picking ofl
the feathers in his back yard, and the
next day tiio thief takes a whole ad
vertisement to shut up the newspaper.
"No," continued Eli, "I hope I am
a newspaper mau, and I dread the
time when I shall get old aud stupid
and have to kill my own bright things
which made the people glad, sold
newspapers aud made Americans know
me."
flow to Fit it Slioe.
"People would find less difficulty in
suiting themselves with ready-made
shoes," said an experienced shoe
maker, "if they would stand up to
have thorn fitted. Nine persons out
of ton require a particularly comfort
able chair wheu they are having shoes
tried ou, and it is difficult to make
them stand for a few minutes even
when tho shoe is fitted. Then, when
they begin to walk about, they are
surprised that the shoes are less com
fortable than tlioy were when first fit
ted. Tho reason is simple.
"The foot is smaller when one sits
in a chair thau it is wheu one is walk
iug about. Exercise brings a con
siderable quantity of blood to the feet,
which accordingly swell. Tho mus
cles also expand. These facts must
he borno in mind when one buys one's
shoes, or discomfort aud disappoint
ment are sure to bo tho result. Peo
ple who are not comfortable in ready*
made shoes should have both feet
measured. Tho result will generally
be the discovery that they have feet
of different sizes, and therefore need
specially made shoes." —Washington
Star.
London's Flrat Hallway.
The last remaining relic of the first
railway iu London has just disap
peared from public view, having fallen
wearily into the waters of thoWaudle.
It was in 1801, or nearly a century
ago, that an act was passed authoriz
ing tho construction of a railway from
AVaudsworth to Croydon, the sleepots
being of stone and horses the motive
power. The scheme included a dock
at Wandsworth, and it is the ancient
wooden crane connected therewith
which has just committed suicide iu
despair at tho futility of its life. -
London Chronicle.
ITHE FACULTY OF FLIGHT
A PROBLEM THAT MAY BE SOLVED
BY THE BIRD-ANATOMIST.
i
> Thnr May lie a Principle, Xot Yet Gnce.ecl
at. That Will Explain All the JMy.tery
or l>lr<l-PUcht—The M iißenlar Power of
Wing.—Great Endurance of Vulture.,
! -'There is no faculty or power In cren
turos which can rightly perforin its func
tions without tho perpetual aid of tho Su
! preme Being."—Hooker.
! Tho problem of binl-fligbt lias its
j humors aud its absurdities. Recently
there has been a revival of the gas
eous theory to aacount for the appur-
I outly impossible, yot every day-vis
[ ible, performances of tho hawks aud
! buzzards, the swifts aud indeed all of
j tho best flyers. It is said that birds
have a pneumatic system, in addition
\to the osseous, muscular, vascular,
nervous aud other systems common to
' all higher animals; and that by the
j functioning of this particular system
; they render themselves so buoyant
: that their alar operations nre conipar
i atively easy, requiring far less muscu
lar exertion and ucrvous expense than
i would appoar to be necessary.
I This theory seems to me pre
! posterous, being based in a flat con
tradiction of an axiom of natural
philosophy. A balloon,wheu collapsed,
will not rise in the air; hut when
| expanded with a gas lighter than onr
atmosphere it soars. The same prin
' ciplo causes a hull to float on water
j when a solid of the same size would
! sink plump to the bottom. If the
; bird has a Hystom of pneumatic envi
-1 ties, the bird's body is at its lightest
when those cavities are absolutely
' empty; for no ga3 is lighter than
| vacuum. Then clearly the only
mothod by whioli the bird can iucrense
its buoyancy iu this connection is by
expanding its substance, and at tho
same time filling tho spaces with a
! gas extremoly light and yet able to
| resist the increased pressure of the
external air. But does a bird expand
J its bones, or even its softer parts, to
any practical extent while flyiug?
jNo theorist claims that it does. If
! such expansion were possible the
only service a gas could perform
would he to rosist the atmos
| phorio pressure; for, as I have said,
i the bird would he lighter without the
j gas than with it. No substance is
I lighter than nothing!
j It is u perfectly manageable problem
I to calculate just how much a buzzard
would have to expand the "cavities of
its pneumatic system" in order to in
crease the buoyancy of its body a
; given number of ounces. But sup-
I posing the bird can at will expel from
j its bono-cavities and other pneumatic
reservoirs all gaseous contents, there
would not bo an appreciable lessening
: of weight in the problem of flight.
In fact, if a buzzard could at will dis
card its entire abdominal viscera, the
loss of substance would not be suffi
cient to make any great change iu our
problem; for the wild goose is twice
| as heavy in the body as a turkey
| vulture, and just as good a flyer,witli
: out any advantage iu wing force. The
i difference in sailing ability in favor of
the vulture is easily accounted for on
! the score of natural bodily lightness;
i but this comparison does not in any
! way assist in settling the main ques
j tiou. Of course if two birds have
i equal wiug force and greatly unequal
: bodily weight, the heavier will have
!to work the harder in flying. Still,
j under the most favorable co-ordina
] tion of weight and wing power in a
bird, the problem of flight is far from
\ solution.
| It is easy to catch a buzzard, a vul
| ture or a gooso aud accurately meas
ure the muscular force of its wiugs.
'lt has been done. This force has not
been found very remarkable. A hoy
twelve years old can hold both wings
of a twenty-pound goose iu oue hand
| without great exertion. The wing
| muscles are strong, hut not marvel
ously strong; about equal to those of
a strong mnu's tlinmb. Well, a very
strong man cau lift his own weight
with his two thumbs; wherofore it
should he easy enough for a goose to
lift twenty pounds with the same
! muscular power. Hero, however,
| comes iu the the immense counter
: leverage of tho bird's long wings as a
troublesome element of onr calcula
tion. Let a strong man take iu his
hand a van, the full size of a vulture's
wing, aud attempt to sweep it swiftly
! througU the air; the realization of
what the bird overcomes with such
; apparent ease and with such marvelous
I grace will immediately arrive. It may
1 he said that in any event the vulture
has but to sustain the weight of its
own body; hut remember that this
I must bo with outstretched wiugs.
j Wore the wiugs mere thumbs nud the
I extreme leverage only three or four
! inches, nil would he well; but the nir
: pressure on the ontiro wing is at last
borne by tho muscles whore they pass
tho wing-joint, next to the body, and
I the strain is kept up for many hours
without a moment's rest. The stroug
i eat man's arms could not boar it for
j two hours, as experiment would easily
! disclose.
! i The flight problem, therefore, sug
gests a deeper examination into bird
| anatomy than has yet boon made. The
| j whole physiological struoturo lunst ho
restndied with a view to accounting for
the immense nervous resources of tho
avian physique. Long continued
muscular exertion uses np nervous
i forco, with n corresponding exhaus
tion of heart-power, lung-power aud
i will-power. Are birds not subject to
the laws of physical waste aud recup
■ j eiation? Some of them fly for forty
• j eight hours, or longer, without rest
i | or food; and if they sleep it is while
i I incessantly continuing their flight. I
i ! have taken them, ou their migration,
: j when n storm had driven them to
| earth, and found not a trace of food
iI in their stomachs. Bnt for the storm
i | they would have gone hundreds, per-
I haps thousands, of miles farther with
i nut a mouthful of sustenance. Poos
not this point to some physiological
secret—some unknown factor in the
bird's physical economy—which may
oy may not be discoverable? We do
not yet know what magnetism is; we
are but guessing r.t electricity,• we
cannot even be sure what causes -he
diiferonce in weight between steel <iud
platinum, or between gold and silver. |
Why then shall we turn up our "sci
entific" nose when it is suggested that
there may be a principle, not even
guessed at, upon which it would be
easy to base all the conditions ol
Bight as we see it in birds? There is
not a physiologist living who can ab
solutely account for the correlation of
nerve-power and muscular force which
brings about the voluntary crooking
of one's finger. Yet the ignoramus
who does not, and never can, know
how he winks his eye, pretends to set
bounds to tho secret of bird-flight.—
Maurice Thompson, in tho New York
Independent.
Trout Flailing In Nonvuy.
Several English sportsmen have
written home from thoir sojourn in
Norway describing the exciting sport
of "brook" trout fishing on that side
of the peninsula, where cowflys and
gnats are unknown and the fisherman
is not stricken with hay fever. The
absence of the tourist, too, is said to
add much to the pleasure of the sport
amid the primitivo scenes on the snowy
banks of the Norwegian streams, where
are clustered little hamlets of sheep
herders and farmers. According to
one writer, "In the larger sheets of
water tho fish vary considerably, not
only in size, but in condition, and a
prize in the shape of a well-fed two
pounder occasionally turns up. When
such a specimen has been secured, it
is woll to lay him in the nearest snow
drift, instead of carting him about for j
hours; his goldeu coat contrasts ad
mirably with the pure white surfaco,
and ho cats all the better afterward.
When tho limits of his little excursion
are reached, nod the keen air and
violent exercise have induced thoughts
of dinner, the angler, after placing a 1
layer of fern or wild strawberry leaves j
over the fish, may top-dress his basket
with lily of tho valley gathered from
some rocky ledge, and return to his
rustic quarters invigorated alike in
body and mind." This seems indeed
a ti'out fisherman's paradise, and it is
not strange that the wary but spry
trout should think any fly in the book
a luxury, aud grasp it accordingly.
Virginia's Apple Trees.
Near Stuart, in Patrick County, at j
the foot of a spur of tho Bluo Ridge 1
Mountains, there is an applo tree i
which measures niue foot live inches J
around. Five feet from tho ground I
are four branches, tho largest being
six feot around, the next five feet, the
smallest four feet five inches. Tho
tree is fifty-two foot high and seventy
one feot broad. Although it is about
seventy years old, it bore last year a
very largo crop. It has been known
to produce 110 bushels in a season, i
and, S3 might bo supposed, the soil 1
iu which it grows is exceedingly rich, j
On a neighboring farm there is au
apple tree which is eight feet five
inches around. In 1880 eighty-five
bushels of choice picked apples were
gathered from it and sold at tho apple
house for sixty dollars. The tree is
seveuty-fivo years old and is still
bearing.
Two miles from Stuart, on tho farm
of J. W. Robertson, stands the famous
Robertson tree, tho parent of all the
applo trees of that name in the United
States. It bears a large, red apple,
which keeps we'll, and it has pro
duced at ou6 bearing eighty-five bush
els, is about eighty years old aud is
still bearing.
A few years ago there was on a farm
near Stuart an apple tree which pro
' duced at one bearing 130 bushels. It
shaded at meridian ninety feet of
ground in diameter.—Charlottesville
(Va.) Progress.
Automobile Verstu Trolley.
Street railway men kavo long de
clared that the average American is iu
too much of a hurry to take time to
climb to the second story of a double
deck car, but there is evory reason to
believe that a typo of automobile, built
aftor the fashion of a taliyho or au
omnibus with seats on top will ulti
mately fiud favor with suburban and
long-distance passengers. The possi
bilities in the matter of speed may bo
realized from the rocent record of an
English machine which made thejour
'ney from Coventry to London, a dis
tance of ninety-two miles, in four
hours, nn average of twouty-threo
miles per hour.
The cheapening of tho motor vehicle
will naturally prove an important fac
tor in tho extension of its use as a
competitor of the street car. Indeed,
it will reach its fullest development
in this direction only after the price
of an autocar is approximately that of
a street car fitted with nn olectrio
motor. Once started, the encroach
ments of the automobile on the field
of municipal transportation will be
rapid. Tho new vohioles may also be
expected to displace street cavs iu
many auxiliary services, such as the
conveyance of the mails and the traU3-
portation of farm products in the rural
districts.—The Automobile Magazine.
A "Wine Mayor.
Evidently the Mayor of Allentown,
Peun., is au up-to-date businessman.
He has recommended that the City
Council prohibit the littering of the
city streets and sidewalks by "tbose
who still regard the handbill as a use
ful method of advertising."
Ireasure In Teetli.
On the authority of the greatest
manufacturer of dentat supplies in the
oountry there are over 40,000 ounces
of pure gold worked up unnually for
dentists' use for material in filling
teeth, in plateß and solders, the value
of this gold approximating SI,OOO, QUI).
OUR BUDGET 0E HUMOR
LAUGHTER-PROVOKINC STORIES FOR
LOVERS OF FUN.
Dlfiillunioneri~Onu He I* Mont Fnminiu
With—Ono Needed—the Futlier'N SUA.
picion—Primitive Woei- Keally, It
Was Too Had, Etc.. Etc,
I thought her u poem of beauty, of grace,
Auil scanning her, marveled Iu blis-.
Tier rhythm of motion, her sweetness of
face,
Her Hps that seemed made for a kiss*
JBut now, disillusioned, the thought I re
tract.
A petulaut anger I nurse,
I thought her a poem, ami wake to the facw
To mo she Is clearly averse.
—Detroit Free Press.
One He JA Molt Familiar With.
Hewitt—"What color is 'dun*
color?"
Jewett—"Red, I guess; that's the
color I got when auybody dims 1110.
Harper's Bazar.
Olio Needed.
She—"They seeai to be lost in each
other's love."
He—"Yes; they ought to advertise
for a minister."---Puck.
The Futher'* Simpleton.
"Babyis smiling in his sleep."
"Yes; he's dreaming of colic and
that he's making mo trot up aud dowu
the room with him."—Chicago Record.
Primitive Woe*.
Lillian "What awful hardsuipsur
forefathers must have experienced."
Blanche—"Yes, just think, they
didn't have olives."
Keally, It* Wan Too Und.
Reggy—"That howwid servant girt
insinuated that L was a flood;"
Fwoddy—"Hid she say 'ilood,' dead
boy?"
Reggy—"Naw, but she said I was
a freshet." —Chicago News.
How He Avoid* It.
"Trivvet never gets hot under ...o
collar."
"He must be a very even-tempered
man."
"It isn't that. He never wears a
collar."—Judge.
Another Intelligent Dot?.
"I taught that bulldog of mine to
put on his own muzzle."
"Then I .suppose you taught him to
take it off again?"
"No, he taught himself that."—
Clevelaud Plain Dealer.
Feminine GotinUteiic.
Mabel—"Why do you always buy
two kinds of note paper?"
Maud—"Well, you see, when t
write to Tom I use red paper—that
means love; aud whou I write to Jack
I use 1)1 tie paper—which means faitu
ful aud true."
A Completed Tnk.
New Boarder—"What kind of a
cook have you got iu this house?"
Waiter—"Woman, sir."
New Boarder—"Huh. and they say
a woman's work is never done. Wo!:,
look at that steak, cooked into soij
leather."—Detroit Free Press.
ProgreßA Killed Him.
*'You don't meau to say thnfc yo&
fired Plodder?"
"Yes."
"Why, ha worked like a horse for
you."
"Exactly. He was reliable, but out
of-date."—Philadelphia Preaa.
Womnu'S Way.
Toss—"lsn't she a peculiar gir'?
She wouldn't look at him when ii >
was rich, but now, after he's lost all
his money, she accepts him."
Jess—"Oh, well, you know how
crazy every woman is to get anything
that's reduced."—Philadelphia Press.
It Puzzle* Oilier Folk, Too.
"I want to ask one more question,"
said little Frank, as he was being put
to bed.
"Well?" acquiesced tho tired
mamma.
"When holes come iu stockings,
what becomes of the piece of stock
ing that was there before the hole
came?"
A Sure Cure.
Doctor—"lt's a nervous affection
that makes your husband hiccough so
persistently."
Wife—"Yes; but what will euro
him?"
Doctor—"One almost certain rem
edy is to scare hiin iu some way."
Wife—"Suppose you present your
bill then."
Why lie Didn't liecognlze It.
Husband—"What is the name ot
that new piece you just played?"
Wife—"Why, that isn't new. Yo x
have heard me play it a score of
times."
Husband—"lt doesn't sou'-id fa
miliar."
Wife—"l had the piano tuned j
day."—Chicago News.
1* A .Softer Side.
'This is a hard world," sai l the
gloomy mail.
"You ought to ooma out nu d lh
where I do," said tho cheery friend.
"You want to get awav from these as
pbnlt pavements au 1 como to nut
neighborhood, where the world is
characterized by nice, soft mud
every consistency, from oatmeal mn,a
to angel cake."—Washington Star.
Something She Would lie member.
"Your relusat, Miss Quickstep,"
tho young man said, "wounds mo
deeply, but you cauuot deprivo me oi
the recollection of the many happy
hours I have passed iu your cum
pauy."
"I shall remember them with sin
cere pleasure, too, Mr. Spoonamore,
believe me," she replied. "No young
luau of my acquaintance has ever
brought me as delicious ohocolais
creams as you have."—Chicago Tri
bune