Freeiand Tribune Established 1888. PUBLISHED EVEBY MONDAY AND THURSDAY-, BV THE TRIBUNE PRINTING COMPANY. Limited Oftice: Mais Stbekt Above Centbe. FREELAND, PA. SUBSCRIPTION RATES: One Year *.51.50 Six Months .76 ; four Months .60 Two Months 25 The date which the subscription is paid to j Is on the address label of each paper, the change of which to a subsequent date be comes a receipt for remittance. Keep tbi figures In advance of the present date. Re- ! port promptly to this office whenever papef Is not received. Arrearages must be puU When subscription is discontinued. Make all money order a, checks, eto,, payable to the Tribune Printing Company, Limited. It is pleasing to see that the New York State Fish, Game and Forest League has turned its attention to the danger which threatens every hunter —and everybody else who goes out into the real country—from the care less use of guns that can kill at enor mous distances. There have been al most innumerable accidents of late, many of them eading fatally, and the league does well to urge the passage of laws to punish the reckless shooters severely. Hitherto they have incurred nothing except the necessity of mak ing uselesss excuses, aud that is not enough. In his address to the Northampton Educational Society at Northampton, Mass., President Harris, of Amherst, said that the ideal education was given by the old district school system, by which the pupils gained three months of book learning every year and rounded it out with nine months of industrial training in the vocations of their fathers. Nowadays, in a school of six rooms he would have oue room a gymnasium, one a room for man ual training, and perhaps the third for a school of sewing and laun dry work. He would have the pupils go to school but half of each day, and so restore to the parents some of the service and the employment of their children, who are now almost ex clusively taken from them by the schools. WORDS OF WISDOM. Ruins are milestones on the road ol time.—Chamfort. There is never but one opportunity of a kind.—Thoreau. True education enlarges in thought, feeling aud purpose.—Rousseau. To learn of a fault is au opportunity to add a new line of beauty to the life. —Miller. A judicious silence is always better thau truth spokou without charity.— Francis De Sales. How much you read is of less conse quence than how much you think of what you have read. Dickens. If every person would be half as good as he expects his neighbor to be, what a heaven this world would be I Talmage. All great natures delight in stability; all great men lind eternity affirmed in the very promise of their faculties.— Emerson. He who has a high standard of liv ing and thinking will certainly do bet ter than he who has uono at all.— Samuel Smiles. A more glorious victory cannot be gained than this: that when the injury begins 011 his part, the kindness should begin on ours.—Davis. Men seldom, or, rather, never, for a length of time and deliberately re bel against anything that does not de serve rebelliug against.—Carlyle. One thing is clear to me, that no indulgence of passion destroys the spiritual nuture so much as respecta ble selfishness.—George Mac Donald.! Do not live in the clubland of some transcendental heaven: do your best to bring the glory of a real heaven down, and ray it out upon your fel lows in this work-day world.—Pun shon. By doing each duty fully as it comes we qualify for more light and greater aptitude for succeeding duties. Faith fulness day by day in small things will make us keen to recognize tho divine voice with reference to greater things. —Chapman. We are apt to underrate the moral quality of a man's regular vocation, his daily talk, his business, to look somewhere apart from this lor his op portunity for achieving character and doing good. But there is nothing else that is so determinative of a man's character, nothiug else that so fur nishes hands for his beneficence aud feet to run his errands of good will.— ; John W. Chadwjck. A R trc 0 rl 1 Rile Fou id. A wonderful old bible lias just been discovered in Venice, the fortunate fin lier being Leo. S. Olschki, a weii-known antiquarian of Florence. It i> five I large volumes, and was printed in Rome, in the printing house of Don | Pietro Massimo. 111 1471 and 1472. Soon . after it came from the press it was purchased by a patrician family of Vcn- I ice. and it was in the archives of this family that Olschki discovered it. —lt is announced that there are 101 farmers and 17 mechanics in the Lowe# House of the Connecticut Legislature. There are 2*2 members in all. 1 SER( NITr. This world's but a bubble, The cynics declare; A light ill in of trouble With filling of air. They call it delusion And vow It's accurst— ' Twill end In confusion Aud swell up and burst. But bubbles have tintings Alluring and bright. And reflect 'mid their glinting® Much goodness and light. Borne explosion may blow it To bits. Why despair? We'll none of us know it Aud none of us cute. |THE CAVALIER'S ESCAPE.! LBV DESBIE MORGAN , My Aunt Augusta Wilberforce lived in a little New England town on the seacoast. Her house, otauding well back from the street ac£ surrounded by magnificent elms, was rae of the oldest aud most aristocratic iu the vil lage. It was a delightful place to visit, and particularly for a child of dreamy and imgiuative temperament, its at tractions were eudless. The garden, with its box-edged walks and old-fashioned flowerbeds, aud the house, where everything dated past one geueration after another, hud equal charms for me. Aunt Augusta lived entirely in the past; the friends she had lost long years before lived for her still. I used to think she too . more comfort with them than many people do with their living ones. Her walls were hung with portraits and some really line paintings. Among them was one of which I was particu larly foud, culled ••The Cavalier's Es cape. " A handsome young man in slashed doublet aud loug purple hose was creeping up the stouo steps, from a glo my dungeon, past his sleeping jailer. His boots with their loug shiniug spurs ho carried under his arm, aud a beautiful maideu waited for him at tho top of the shadowy stairs, with the great castle key iu one sleuder hand, while the other was lifted warningly, her frightened eyes fixed ou the jailer's unconscious face. I speak of the cavalier as young and handsome, though, truth to tell, ouly tho back of his head, with his long auburn love-locks, was visible iu the picture; but notwithstanding this fact, I have never been able to get over the idea that once I saw his face. But I'll tell you how it happened. I was paying my usual summer visit to my aunt, and spending my time very satisfactorily to myself in reading fend dreaming. I was 13 years old, and considered by my friends to pos sess more imagination thau was al together good for me. But on the particular day of which I am telling you my meditations were interrupted by oue of the neighbors, who came iu to beg my Aunt Augusta to allow her to examine my great grandmother's wedding dress. Her daughter was going to take part iu some tableaux aud wanted au inspira tion for her costume. The wonderful gowns mv aunt kept hidden away iu the dark recesses of the "spare room" wardrobe I looked upon with delight and awe,oll the rare occasions when she would allow me a peep at these treasures. But I was never permitted to touch auy of them, though it was the desire of my life to see myself arrayed iu my great-grand mother's wedding dress. After Mrs. Woodfern had gazed and admired to her satisfaction my aunt folded the beautiful sutin and lace, locked them away agaiu out of sight, aud gave me the keys to put buck in her desk, while she accompanied her guest downstairs. I was obediently on my way to hor room, when something Mrs. Wood- Teru was saying caught my ear. "Three houses have been entered already, Miss Wilberforce. Do you think it is safe for you here, with 110 man to call iu for protection? You have so many valuuble thiugs to at tact a burglar." "J am not nervous," Aunt Augusta answered as they passed out of sight, but I felt I must hear the account Mrs. Woodfern was giving of the bur glar's desperate deeds, so I dropped the keys iu my po kef and hurried down, meaning to come up at once and take care of them alter Mrs. Wood fern was gone. There was a full moon that night. It streamed into all the windows and lighted up the rooms with its splendor. Aunt Augusta went to bed early with a headache, anil I wandered about the house by myself, indulging in fancies of the wildest nature. The portraits looked at me solemn ly from the walls, and I thought of Hatiß A mlersen's stories, and wished they would come down and talk to me. How delightful it would be to see all the stntely ladies and gentle men walking about in the moonlight'! But perhaps they they were only wait ing for me to be out of the way. I was standing before my great grandmotber's portrait, when I rem embered the keys in my pocket—l could try that wedding dress on then and no one be the wiser! I would not hurt it; the e was no l easou why auy one should mind. Noiselessly, I crept upstairs to the tho big front room, that also was flooded with moonlight—l had forgot ten the blinds with the keys. Closing the door softly behind me, J crossed tho floor on tiptoe and un locked the great wardrobe's doors, holding ray breath at ray own daring, but iu a few minutes there I stood, in the shining satin, with ••he beautiful old lace veil falling like u mist around me. It really was wonderful how it all fitted me, even the little satin shoes, with the great paste buckles, that slioue like diamouds of the purest water. I walked into the moonlight and looked down at myself. Oh, what a pity no one could seel Even I could only get half a glimpse at the glories of my costume. If only I dared go downstairs, the long mirror between the windows in the parlor would be what I wanted! No sooner said than done. A spirit of adventure was alive in my heart, aud with my train over my arm ; I passed quietly down. There was no oue to hear. Aunt Augusta slept soundly, and the only servant was in her room at the back of the house. Tranquil and serene, I stood aud con templated my charms; then, with a little sigh of mingled satisfaction and regret, I prepared to return wheuce I came, since not even the pictures would not come down and bear me j company. With the thought of the pictures still in my head I stepped out into the hall, and stopped —for there was a man going softly upstairs. The light was dim, and he was wrapped in a dark cloak, but I saw he was carrying his boots under his arm, aud in an instant I remembered the cavali r. I was not as much frightened as you would have supposed. I never once thought of the burglar Mrs. Wood fei n had been talking about. It seemed only natural, and a matter of course, that something unusual should happen. The rustle of my train, as I let it fall, attracted the cavalier's attention. He turned and saw me tlioiv in a nar row strip of moonlight that fell i through the hall window, and in an instant he was corniug down again to ward me. I retired before him farther and farther till I was back again iu the mouu lighted parlor. Hut still lie came on. I could see him quite plainly then—such u handsome young man, though wild and daring! It seemed as if I had always known his lace must be like that—only his auburn love-locks were gone. "I was told this house was haunted," he said, under his breath, looking at me with his dark eyes. I had a vague impression in my mind that it would be a good thing if I were safely back again in my own room with the door 1 eked; but sin e 1 was downstairs I might as well make the best of it. Perhaps it was only a dream, after all, so I looked at the cavalier steadily. "Are you alone?" I asked. "Where are the others?" I spoke softly be -1 cause I did uot wish to wake Aunt Augusta. He did not answer, Dut came a step nearer, a nzemeut in his face. "I suppose the jailer is still asleep," I said casually. The t avalier gave a tremendous start and looked over his shoulder. "If you were trying to escape," I said, "there was no use in going upstairs." The ( avalier came nearer still and caught me by my wrist,but he did uot look any less puzzled. "Flesh and blood," I heard him muttor, and <ertaiuly there was noth ing unsubstantial about his grasp. Hut suddenly his brow grew dark. "What do you nieau?" he whispered, fiercely. "Is this a trap to catch uieV" "No," I answered. I began to get frightened, and spoke hurriedly. "Escape, if you want to—quick, be fore he wakes up." "Whore is he, upstairs?" frowning still, but I could tell by the way he I looked toward the wiudow thac he ineaut to go. "No; he is in there"—pointing to the room across the hall. "But I won't wake liim up; only let go my arm. You hurt me!" "Do you give me your solemn word of honor that you will uot screnm or make any sound or attempt to leave this room for half an hour?" demand- uu IUJ xnyivi. I promised readily enough, and he motioned me to sit down iu Aunt Augusta's big chair, and then, with out, a sound, he opened the window. 1 thought he was gone, but no,he had stopped, and was looking back at, me as J sat there iu the moonlight,gravely watching him, and theu he came back and stood beside me. "I don't know who or what you are," he said; "nut you are the strangest girl I ever saw—and the prettiest. Did I hurt her poor little wrist?" And then I suppose he re membered the gallantry < f the days to which ho belonged, for he bent his dark head down low and kissed my arm as it rested on the < hair be>ide him. Then he vanished like a shadow and closed the window softly behind him. i sat motionless in the big chair nnd waited. The moonlight slipped down from my bridal veil and across mv satin lap down to my shining : shoe-buckles, and at last was gone al together; but slill the jailer did not wake up, and all the other pictures stayed quietly in their frames, nnd I leaned my head back in Aunt Augusta's great chair and went fast asleep while I waited. The clock was striking two when I awoke, and then 1 was frightened. My mind was full of vague, half re in em hered terrors. I was afraid of myself, iu my ghostly dress, and Hew upstairs as if pursued. I had to get a caudle from my room to see to put away my liuery—the great spare room had grown so dark—and there weie queer noises i;i the wardrobe, and in every corner. I rtmemhered then about the burglar, and shook from head to foot with fear. It, did seem as if I never should get those things put away. But it was done at last, and oh, the joy when I was safely back in my room with my door locked fast behind me! i There is the story, you can call it < what you oleosa—u uhost stnrv or a burglar story, or a dream. Titers was nothiug next morning to pitive which it was. I wut down as soon as I was dressed to look at the pic ure in the sittingroom.bnt the cavalier was there still, noiselessly climbing the weary stairs past the sleeping jailer. I couldn't help being sorry for him,that he hadn't escaped, after all. I put back my aunt's keys directly after breakfast. I didn't care about keeping them any longer, and to this day I am not altogether sure whether I ever tried on my great-grandmother's wedding dress or not. INTELLIGENT PACK MULES, Duriiiff Tlieir Ariny Experience They Learn Many Thiiiffit. "In the government service," said an ex-soldier, "the pack trains are led by a bell mare and the mules learn to follow her with a blind confidence that is astonishing. After the sur render of Santiago the army of occu pation had several pack trains that were kept in a big corral near the camp. One duy General Breckinridge came to visit General Shafter, who at that time had shifted his headquarters to a point near San Juau Hill, and how to provide him with a saddle animal was a serious question. The climnte of south Cuba had proven very hard on our horses and they were nearly all dead or disabled. In fact, the only respectable looking beast we could scrape up was a bell mare be longing to one of the trains, and the order was accordingly given to saddle her up. "The general mounted and was riding away toward headquarters, when suddenly a most hideous and unearthly tumult broke loose from the corral. The mules had caught sight of their leader and were frantically eu deavoring to get out and follow, each one braying at the top of his lungs and every bray in a different key. It was the most horrible row ever heard in the province since the bombard ment of Mono Castle, and for the time being it looked as if the crazy mules were goiug to tear down the stockade. Geuerul Breckinridge was startled and reiued up to investigate, but meanwhile a dozen packers had jumped into the corral and went to work on the brutes with clubs, trying to get them running around in a circle so as to distract their attention. At last they succeeded, and the geueral fortunately disappeared down the road before the drove came to a standstill again. He would have cut a unique figure if he had ridden up to Shatter's tent lending a solemu cavalcade of (>•! government mules, and that is exactly what would have happened had it not been for the presence of mind of the packers. "A pack-mule that has seen service gets very cunning. I remember we bail one old fellow who had been in the army for 12 or 15 years and he knew as much as most of the men. He was occasionally used as leader and was very fond of the job, because in that case he had no load to carry. To see him maneuvering to get to the front was very comical. The regula tion pack weighs 200 pounds, and the mules soon size it up to a nicety, re fusing to carry anything more. For that reason they are blindfolded while being loaded; otherwise they would be continually looking around to see whether the pa k was inside the limit, "On one occasion we received a coffin to be sent to Siboney and the old mule I referred to was selected to carry it. The coffin weighed about 25 pounds, but the mule must have concluded from its size that it weighed a ton, and he immediately began to groan in the most pitiful manner, exactly like a human being. When the coffin was put on his back he pre teuded to stagger and sagged down as if he was carrying a 10-iuch gun. At the same time he turned his head and looked at me with a mournful ex pression that was as easily read as so much print: 'Good heavens!' he seemed to say, 'are you going to allow me to be crushed by this enormous burden?" We were all shrieking with laughter and tried to make him take his place in line, but not an inch would he budge. Finally he deliber ately rolled over and knocked the coffin off. That settled it. We let the old rascul take the bell, and I could ulmost hear him chuckling as it was looped around his neck. Another mule was then blindfolded and took on the coffin without trouble." FrcnerTHtiVH Power of Ire. Whaies are not the only objects found in the ice. Various expeditions have reported the liuding of human bodies, whalers or other seamen who had been caught iu the snow, buried in the ice, and preserved for years. In 1822 (.'apt. Burnham found the body of a seaman buried iu blue ice four feet from the surfuoo, both body and clothing being in a perfect state of preservation. Captain Kendal of the British navy, iu examining the soil of IX ception Island, one of the {South Khetlaud group,found a human body that must have been there for years as it, was entombed in a mass of volcanic usli that was frozen to a stone like consistence. In this way many remarkable animals have been pre served for*he edification of mankind in later ages. Brldo'n Substitute for "Obey." Some brides insist upon having the little "obey" left out of their mar riage service nowadays, hut it was a witty and alert young woman who saved dispute and solved the difficulty at. a fashionable wedding in an Epis copal church the other day. Her girl friends had been let into the secret, but the bridegroom could hardly be lieve his ears and thought that she was overcome by her emotions when his lovely bride solemuly promised to "love honor and be gay." He ir learning that she means to keep thf promise, however. —New York Press, FINMERTY'S JOKE. An Irish Wac Fooled th© London Report* ers With a Kogua Speech. One of the brightest and beet of the Parliamentary reporters of London, years ago, was Peter Finnerty, of the Chroniole, who loved to play practical jokes as well as he loved to eat. One day in the reporters' gallery when the proceedings were unusually dull, Morgan O'Sullivan, one of his associates, felt so drowsy he could hardly keep his eyes open. So he got Finnerty to promise to give him any speeches that might be made, and then fell asleep in his ehair. He awakened in about on hour greatly re freshed and eager for work. Finnerty gravely informed him that during his nop there had been an important speeoh delivered by Mr. Wilberforce, a member of the House, on the virtues of the Irish potato. Morgan never pausing to think that the subjeot had a suggestion of the ludicrous, would not be pacified until the speech had been dictated to him by Finnerty. The speeoh, entirely Finnerty's con coction, made Mr. Wilberforce say: "Had it been my lot to be born and raised in Ireland, where my food would hove principally consisted of the pota to—the most nutritious and salubrious root—instead of being the poor, in firm, stunted creature you, Sir, and honorable gentlemen, now behold me, [ should have been a tall, stout, athetie man and able to carry an enormous weight. I hold that root to be invalu able; and the man who first cultivated it in Ireland I regard as a benefaotor of the first magnitude to his country." Morgan was so overjoyed at this legislative tribute to tho excellence of his national potato that he willingly dictated the speech to several other re porters and every paper of note in England, Ireland anil Scotland—ex cept the Loudon Morning Chroniole, in the office of which Finnerty sat chuckling, had the extraordinary re port of Mr. Wilberforce's strange speech in the House on tho extraor dinary virtues of tho Irish potato. The speech was read with amaze ment. At the clubs and in the city everybody was laughing at Mr. Wil berforce's speeoh—except Mr. Wilber force. He thought it rather a cause for l-ago than merriment, especially as his friends gazed pityingly at him, thinking he had gone demented. Hut his anger cooled, nnd in tho House that night he read the speech amid roars of laughter. If he were capable of uttering such nonsense, he said, as had been put in his mouth it would be high time he was placed in a lunatio asylum. For himself he cared little about it, but it was for the dignity of the House he felt con cerned. Finnerty, on this occasion, had not to pay the penalty for his exquisite gift of humor; but later, for a libel ou Lord Castlereagb, Secretary for For eigu Affairs, he was imprisoned for eighteen months. Pensions for British Officers. * In the future wounded British of ficers will be provided for in a more equitable manuer, the Queen having recently approved by royal warrant a change in the existing pension rules. Her Majesty orders that: "An officer who has received in op tion a bodily injury, certified by the regulated military officer to be very severe, though not equivalent to the lo9S of a limb, may, at the discretion of our Secretary of State, be allowed a gratuity of from three to twelve months' full pay of the appointment held by him at the time of the injury. If at the expiration of the period for which the gratuity has been awarded tho injury be certified to be likely to bo permanent in its effects, the ofticer may be grauted a temporary pension at half the rate prescribed in the scale laid down. Such pensiou shall be renewable from year to year at the discretion of our Secretary of State, according to subsequent reports of the regulated military authority. If the temporary pension is renewed for five years, and the bodily disability continues, tho pension may be con verted into a permanent pension." Benefit to Commerce of Polar lOxperiition* Probably tho most important re sults of immediate practical use to both science and commerce will be tLie gain to tho newly born science, oceano graphy. The ever-increasing useful ness of tho ocean for tho needs of modern commerce, of warfare, of cable service, and as a nursery for food makes it necessary that wo know everything possible about it.] Wo must know, not only tho surfaco, but the bottom and the intermediate waters. Wo must know, not only tho warm seas, but tho cold as well. There is a constant interchange hot ween tho water of the tropics and that of tho poles, just as thero is an interchange ;>f tho winds. The cold, ice-laden waters have a tendency to flow into the warmer regions. Tlio overheated •.orrid waters sink and flow poleward. Chis is tho theory, and iu part it is mpportod by observation; but what is ihe mechanism? —Frederick A. Cook, VI. D., in Hcribner's. Shot By n Pet Cat. While attempting to slay a house jat with a rifle Francis Pelky, of No vato, Cal., narrowly missed losing his life. The cat, an old household pet, literally pulled the trigger and sent a bullet into Pelky's left foot. Mr. Pelky had decided to kill the animal because of its oxtreino age. He held her in one hand and with the other placed the muzzle of the rifle at her breast. Tabby's age, however, had not dimmed her eyes or dulled her instinct of self-preserva tion. In} the struggle Pelky's rifle slipped from his grasp. He grabbed the weapon by the stock. His fingers and the cat's foot accidentally touched the trigger, and a bullet nearly cut off the big toe of his left foot. ThW eat departed and has not returned.-* New York Herald. PEARLS OF THOUCHT. The good man's life is like the spark that is brightest at the close. The door of uiercv has hinges, and it may be shut, and then locked with the adamantine key of justice. Idleness is a craven's goal. No man of worth wants to be free from work. Without work life is not worth the liv ing. Difficulties of thought, acceptance of what is without full comprehen sion, belong to every system of think ing. When interest is at variance with conscience, any pretence that seems to reconcile them satisfies the hollow hearted. If you want knowledge, yon must toil for it; if food, you must toil for it; and if pleasure, you must toil for It; toil is the law. To let a man know that you recog nize aud rejoice in some good quality of his, is to bless him with a new heart and stimulus. Courtesy is the passport to success. Wo double the power of our life when we add to its gifts unfailing courtesy. The world always begrudges room to a boor. The habit of blaming others when things go wrong is an insidious aud dangerous one. Far more is it to the purpose to inquire within whether the fault, or much of it, may not lie at home. Beneficence should never be exer cised at random, nor upon irrational impulse, but should be the outcome and expression of a disposition trained and nourished in the atmosphere of hnman friendship. Cheeerfulness upbuilds, uplifts, at tracts. Be cheerful. If you have not the habit, cultivate it. Grumbling, whiniug, complaining, are so much capital taken from your vital, mental stock, and pnt to the bad use of help ing to make others miserable. THE MARCH OF PROCRESS. An Episode in the Career or a Carlisle Indian Centre Rush. The champion middle-weight of the world stepped off the train that was rapidly bearing him to California and new laurels. It was a small Dakota town at which the train stopped. On the station platform was the usual crowd of loungers, including a lone savage. The champion had been indulging in strong waters, despite the prohibi tion laws of North Dakota, and was in a frisky mood—rather searching for excitement. He espied the Indian; then he beck oned to his friends. "Watch me have some fun with old Ripping Thunder there," said he. Ilia friends smiled in sympathy, and the party made towards the lone sav age. The champion struck a theatrical attitude. "Me bad man, John!" quoth he. "Want to drink Injun's blood!" The Indian gazed in cold disdain, and stepped backward. The champion followed. "Urghhl" said he, grinding his teeth. "If I can't have Injun's blood, knock off Injun's hat oft', anyhow!" With this lie made an attempt to do it Then it was that the barometer fell a foot in oue-teutli of second in that part of Dakota, indicating a pow erful storm c eutre. It was too sudden to get details, but the champion rose in the air, flapping like a Hag in a gale of wind, and the champion came down again with a thump that rattled the station windows. And the champion flew to the right and to tho left—-now here, now there—landing 011 his head or feet, regardless of consequences. There was a scurry of dust, a vibrat ing champion impelled by what seemed to bo a half-dozen lone In juns, and tho trouble was over. The chainpiou sat up and regarded his unmoved conqueror. "it's all right, my friend," said he, sadly. "This is on me, and I don't care who knows it; but if you'd only tell tue where you learned the art I think I'd be almost happy." "Your curiosity is natural under the circumstances, and I don't mind gratifying it," answered the lone In dian. "J played centro rush on the Carlisle football team season of '04." And then he drew his blanket around him and departed, still untroubled.— 11. W. Phillips, iu the Criterion. School Pupil* Adopt Rule* of Etiquette. A new departure which has been inaugurated by the Waterloo high sebool of Auburn, Tml. ,•may be adopted by the schools of the country. About 100 of the pupils have signed their names to the following rules of eti quette: f. We will not communicate nor ask to communicate while iu the school buildiug. 2. We will keep lo'ined positions in our school seuts. 0. . We will cultivate a light .vtep. 4. We will not ask for individual favors. 5. We will prepare all writing ma terial in the morning. tl. We will make tho schoolroom a place of quietude. These rules ou general manners also have been signed: 1. We will not allow others to be more polite to ns than we are to them. 2. We will not make ourselves odious in the use of tobacco. And here are somo street muuners: 1. We will, on passing people on the street, give them half of the walk. 2. We will not jeer at anyone ou the street or off the street. 3. We, the gentlemen, will tip our hats to ladies. 4. We will avoid being boisterous wherever we may be. This novel rule for getting the ob servance of rules of good behavior has taken a strong hold on the children of all ages.—New York Journal. THE MERRY SIDE O F LIFE, STORIES THAT ARE TOLD BY THE FUNNY MEN OF THE PRESS. Lnclcy Birds—He Wasn't Equni to the Oc casion—The Modern Youth—Merely a Guess—The Difference—ln South Af rica—Ready to Quit, Etc., Etc. Full many a bird with plumes of brillinut hue Was hatched to waste Its songs on dosort air; Ah, lucky warbler, if it only know There are no women's huts to trim out there. —Washington Star. He Wasn't Equal to the Occasion. Rose—"Did you ever faint, Isabel?'* Isabel—"Only once; and I bumped my bead so hard that I never tried it again."—lndianapolis Journal. The Modern Youth. "I started at the bottom and climbed up," said the old geutleman. "But it's much pleasauter toboggan ing," returned the spendthrift sou.— Chicago Post. Merely s Guess. Man at the Fish Market—-"The mackerel are running very small this season, ma'am." Young Housekeeper—"l suppose it's on account of the dry weather."— Life. The Difference. "Detectives in real life are not a bit like the story-book detectives." "That's so," said the man who hasn't any savoir faire whatever; "the story-book detective invariably catches his man sooner or later." 11l South Africa. First Kafliv—"Say, what's your hurry?" Second Xaffir —"Don't stop me! I'm the special correspondent of the New York Hustler nud I have a batch of startling rumors from the front." — Pack. Ready to Quit. First Office Boy—"I call my boss •Gridley.' " Second Office Boy—"Why is that?" First Office Boy—"Because he may fire when he is ready!"— Pack. The Kiud She Wanted. Mrs. Dooley—"A pound av tay, if ye plaze." Grocer—"What kind?" Mrs. Dooley—"Oi'll take a pound av the iced tay Oi hear about."—Judge. A Cominir Sensation. Deacon Saintly (to wife, as congre gation assembles) —"Whero is Mrs. Fashuns this morning? She is usu ally amoug the early comers." Mrs. Saintly—"Sbe will be late to day. I saw her buying a new hat last week."—Baltimore American. In an Irish I'ollce Court. "Are you married?" asked a magis trate in the Dublin police court of a man charged with committing an as sault on another man. "No, your worship," replied the man in the dock. "That's a good thing for your wife," said the magistrate.—The Green Bag. Avoiding Trouble With the bailor. Dashaway—"Now, if I order any olothos from you I want to be sure be forehand that you won't dnn me. I want it understood. Can you suggest any way to avoid this." Tailor—"Well, you might pay me a deposit now, and the rest when the clothes are delivered."—Dotroit Free Press. At Ilia Word. Customer—"You sell cracked eggs at half price do you not?" Clerk—"Yes'ni; we always make a fifty per cont. reduction on cracked goods. Anything else to-day?" Customer—"Yes, you may give me a dollar's worth of cracked wheat. Here's fifty cents."—Columbus (Ohio) State Journal. Another Sherlock Holme.. "It was a clever job," said the chief. "How did you spot him through this woman's disguise?" "I happened to see him sit down," replied the detective, "and noticed he gave his rainy-day skirt a little twitch with both hands, as if to keen it from baggingat the knoes. Then I nabbed him."—Chicago Tribune. lieconelled to tho Inr vi Initio. "An operation for appendicitis," the surgeon ussured the sufferer, "is rather a serious thing, of course, but it is necessarily an alarming one, and it will demonstrate, moreover, just bow much fortitude you have." "Yes," replied the patieut. "I sup pose it will show just wh nt's in ma. Go ahead."—Chicago Tribune. A Regular Colored •Supplement. "Y'our narrative is too highly col ored," remarked the editor, returning the bulky manuscript. "In what way?" inquired the disap pointed author. "Why," replied the editor, "in the very first chapter yon make the old man turn purple with rage, the villain turn green with envy, the hero turn white with anger, the hcroino turn red with blushes, and the coachman turn blue with cold."
Significant historical Pennsylvania newspapers