Freeland Tribune Established 1888. PUBLISHED EVERY MONDAY AND THURSDAY. BY THE TRIBUNE PKINTINS COMPANY. MM i OrricE; MAIN STREET ABOVE CENTRE. FREELAND, FA. SUBSCRIPTION KATES: One Year $1.50 ! Six Months "• ! Four Monihs 50 j Two Mouths .25 The date which the subscription is paid to la on the address label of each pnper, the change of which to u subsequent date be come** a receipt for remittauce. Keep th figures in advance of the present date. Re port promptly to this office whenever paper ia not received. Arrearages must be pail When subscription is discontinued. Make all money orders, checks, etc.,payable Iv the Tribunj Printing Company, Limited. The demand for technical education is growing in every civilized country. It lias been demonstrated that special trainiug is necessary to uuccess in al most every occupation as well as in every profession, and both those who employ and those who servo are seek ing it with increasing avidity. The housekeepers' alliances that are being formed in our large cities are also discussing methods for bring ing about the broader education of thf woman who presides over the house. And they lay especial stress on courses that will appeal to the young woman fresh of mind and as yet un burdened with the actual cares of life. Tlie Shanghai Mercury, a seculai journal that, as it frankly says, holds no brief for missionaries and is not concerned with the motive or motives that underlie their activities, declares that missionaries are not only tkobesl auxiliaries of the government from which they come, but also are the mosl important advance agents of com merce. The marvelous speed of forty-three miles an hour acquiied by the new British torpedo boat destroyer, the Viper, marks a new era in warship building. The engines are of the new turbine wheel system, and while the engines are of marvelous power for the tonnage of the vessel, still the conver sion of that power into speed is due to novel devices which all competitors must adopt. It is well that the dead of the Maine are to be brought home for sepulture iu their native soil. As O'Hara wrote of those slain in an other war, they must net slumber there, Where stranger steps and tonguas resound Along the heedless air. Not even though those stranger tongues would give them all honor as the first American martyrs for Cuba's sake. The fitting grave of the Ameri can sailor or soldier is under the Americau (lag. Type of the New College President. Within the last few months the num ber of accessions of new college Presi dents have been extraordinary. We have Hatlley at Yale, Harris at Am herst, Paulice at Brown, Wheeler at California, AI is s Hazard at Wellesiey, Barrows at Oberlin, McLane at lowa State, Merrill at Colgate, Thompson ! at Ohio State, Super at Ohio, Tappen j at Miami, Freshwater at Baldwin,' Kane at Wabash, our own Ayers, and, last of all, Holden at Wooster. The old-fashioned college President was expected to be an all-around man. He must be a profound scholar, a clergyman and an expert in human na ture. Under the pressure of the times H multitude of men, if asked for the ! prime qualification of a college Presi dent, would reply, "lie must be a first l class business mau." The man of affairs is at the front. Dr. Ilolden of Wooster has started | right. He has announced gifts of I $25,000 for a library building and SIO,OOO as a starter for a new chair during the first six weeks. This is in accordance with the new style of being a college President. The ex ample is recommended to the trustees uf less enterprising institutions.—Cifl* cinnati Commercial Tribun* A liocr Clirlsteiilug. London newspapers just now are filled with incidents of the Boers, most of them far from flattering. One of the best relates that in a Dutch church In Pretoria not long ago there appeared a very stolid-looking farmer's wife, who had brought her baby into town to he christened. Before leaving home her "lord" had written the names it was intended to give the infant on one slip of paper and the list of the house hold requirements on another, and both were carefully folded and put in the great leather purse she carried. When the proper time arrived the fond mother handed up a slip of paper to the minister, who read and reread it, and then remarked that Koffie Bijst Buiker Geraber Komfijit were rather odd names for the child, and ones which might prove embarrassing to the possessor at some future time. Then the other slip of paper was produced and explanations followed. Many women earn comfortable sala ries by packing trunks for gutsts at large hotels. 33DOOOOUOUttOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO r] 8 B A Tale of the Santiago Campaign, Written S u> Exc iusively For This Paper bu O b OSCAR HATCH HAWLEY, O Late CorporalSth Infantry, U. S. A. Q 1 "THE MAINE GUY." I 0 o 000133000000000000000000000 RECIIUITING business did uot proceed with lightning-like rapidity at Tampa, for the 6 principal reason that there seemed to be a dearth of applicants for admission to the ranks of the regular army. A dozen regiments were encamped here, and not one of them had its full quota of men. There were officers in plenty, but of what use were they without acommnnd? Each regiment took on one or two men a day, but at that rate it would take a year for some of the regiments to reach full strength. So it was that a keen rivalry sprung up between the different regiments in the matter of enlistments. Any man that looked like a possible applicant was besought by dozens of men to join this or that regiment. If he seemed at all timid, he was pulled nud hauled and at last carried off bodily by the biggest man in the crowd of solicitors, unless some other regiment happened to be represented by two or three men. "Say, Jack (every stranger is 'Jack' in the army), don't yon want to join the Ninth, the 'fighting Ninth V'" shouts some one on the approach of a "possibility." ft "Naw, he don't, of course not," bellows another, '"the 'bloody Tenth' is his game." "The 'fighting Ninth,' the 'bloody Tenth,' wouldn't that jar you ? Why say, Jack, the 'scrappy Twelfth' is the only outfit around here. You never heard of them others, did you? Of course not." And then a cavalryman would open up on the merits of the 'bronco bustin' Sixth,' and others would join in until the poor applicant often wished the war was over or had never started, or that he had had sense enough uot to think of enlisting. It was during these troublous times that a squad of recruit-catchers one day noticed a rather peculiar looking individual wending his way towards camp.' "Looks like one," said Mango Pete after a critical survey of the approach ing form. "Trouble ;n the family, though," commented auotliar. "How's that?" "Pants at half mast. You never was anything but a laud-lubber. No one deigned to smile, even. "Ah-ha," said Pete, jumping to his feet, "I know who he is now. I was lookin' fur him." "Who is he?" chorused the others incredulously. "He, why he's the Maine Guy." And the Maiuo Guy he was from that day, although it was never known absolutely what part of the country he was from. As soon as he approached within speaking distance it was seen that he was no youngster out for a holiday. He appeared to be about thirty years old. His clothes were ill-fitting and his face unshaven, but the glance of his eye showed that he knew his busi ness and wanted no interference. Consequently, he was not hard pressed to join more thau half a dozen regiments, and he went off with Mango Pete, who had been the first spokesman. To the officer who enlisted him ho gave the name of Hi Bender, and his home at Jacksonville, Ela. How ever, it was easy to perceive from the manner of his speech that ho was no Southerner. He answered all ques tions promptly, said he never had been in the army, had no family, etc., 1 and was then sent to the awkward squad for drill. J The first day in the awkward squad | he bad the drill sergeant swearing mad most of the time. But the next day he had improved to such an ex tent that he never made even one mis take, and no order given seemed to | feazo him for an instant. When asked the cause of his remarkable im provement he said he did uot want to stay in the awkward squad forever i and had dreamed out all the tactics | of the regular army during the night. J The Maine Guy was a good-natured I fellow, and never objected to his nick [ name. In fact, he rather seemed to j like it, and, to a certain extent, tried I to talk with a down-east nasal twang in his voice. In this he was only partially successful. I When the regiment had disem barked at Siboney it wa noticed that Bender was soon on lei ms of in timacy with several Cubans. He would jabber at them in an unknown tongue and they would jabber back, and, while others could not under stand what was being said, they re alized that the Maine Guy knew Spanish. When asked about it he said he had been in Mexico a couple of years and picked up a smattering of the language there. As soon as his fluency with Spauish I became known Bonder was the most sought man in the regiment. He was wanted to bargain with the natives on behalf of one or another, anil some times even the officers, who were sup posed to know everything and a little more, would condescend to nsk Ben der to interpret for them. Sometimes, after conversing with the Cubans, Bender would sit down in front of his peep tent and tell won drous stories that he had heard. Of the terrible vengeance of the natives. How each one in the so-called Cuban army kept a necklace on which was strung a tooth from every Spaniard killed by the wearer. The owner of the largest string held the awe and admiration of his comrades and even Tanked with the officers iu their eyes. Then there was r the story of the red machete, a wonderful weapon car ried by a Spanish officer. Its owner was immune to bullets and could be taken only by capture. But though many times the offioer and machete had been seen and many plots had been laid to trap him he had eluded them all. Whenever he was seen at the head of a column of Spaniards the Cubans fled precipitately, for ho was a terrible lighter and was never known to have been beaten. But it was not long that the troops remained in camp at Sibouey. Soon the march on Santiago was begun and within a week the American army was at La Seville, a suburb of the famous old town. Skirmishes had been fre quent on the march and now the men were anxious to see fighting, real hot, brutal and bloody war. Some of them knew what it meant, most of them did not, but all were anxious for it. Mango Pete and the Maine Guy had pitched tent at Seville as soon as the march was done and fifteen min utes later were oil with bag and can teens to find good water and some ripe mangoes. "Well, Pete, this looks some as though we would have a walk-over going into Santiago, don't it?" re marked Bender. "It sure does," was the reply. "Them greasers ain't no earthly good. Got big streaks of yellow in 'em, all of 'em." "Still, Pete, you know they used to be hot stuff. I'm thinking that they'd give us a good warm reception even now, only there are not enough of them, and they haven't food, nor money, nor much else, except lots of ammunition, I guess." "Of course, if they do make a stand at all," said Pete slowly, "they's lia ble to be quite a death rate around here. You see they've got guns that shoot like sin. Jest as good as ours. Better, maybe." "Yes, but even at that I think most of the men would welcome a good hot scrap." Pete spat copiously and gazed at nothing for a moment. He was some what given to thinking before speak ing. "Unless it should happen to be too hot," he remarked at last. "What do you mean, Pete," said Bender, his voice tense with emotion on the instant. "Not defeat, you wouldn't dare think it even. Say, what do mean ?" "Nothiu', nothiu', it was only a re mark. No need to git excited about it. Jest between you an' me. Only, you know " That night, as all save the sentries lay sleeping, a bugle call broke out on the still air. Jt was the reveille call, sounded twice in rapid succes sion. Quickly the call passed from one regiment to another, beginning with the ranking command and j following in regular order- down the line. And as the call sounded the men jumped to respond until within a I few moments the great camp was 1 teeming with activity and excitement. I "What meant this midnight start?" j they asked one and another. And there was but one response: "Fight." Soou the camp was but a memory and the army moved forward, toward the enemy's works, guided by Cubans. As the first faint streaks of gray light showed ou the eastern horizon a j low deep boom-m-m reverberated i along the valley, a cloud of smoke wreathed a small knoll on the side of j El Pozo, and the battle was on. I An hour later the cannonading was terrific. The ground shook with the incessant thunder of big guns. Small bullets whistled through the air like hail. "J say, Pete, do you think of , this?" shouted Bender. | "It ain't 110 Fourth o' July celebra tion, I'll tell y'll that," was the reply. "Hot stuff, eh?" "Well, you seem to take it pretty well for a kid." "Bender, oli-k-b, Bender!" It was the Colouel shouting at the top of his voice. "Here, sir!" replied Bender, run ning forward along the liue. "I may need you to-day. Give my compliments to Captain S!eele, tell him that I've relieved you from duty with his command, and then report here again immediately." "Very well, sir." Bender was with the Colonel again in a few minutes, and followed him closely all morning. When the San Juan river was reached and the troops i deployed to make ready for the charge, ! Bonder and the Colonel were some wliut in advance of the men. It was a critical moment. The com manding officer of the brigade had ' been killed. The two ranking colonels lmd been severely wounded, and were i hors de combat. The command of the brigade now devolved on the Colonel I of the —th. He felt the responsibility, | also the dauger and waited until all was ready, i At the right moment the Colouel 1 jumped to his feet, drew his sword, ; and raising it on high, shouted in stentorian tones: "Charge-ge-ge by rushes. Charge-1 ge-ge. Trumpeter, blow the cliarge ge-ge." And there he fell shot through the chest and mortally wounded. Bender leaped forward, picked up ■ the wounded officer, and in a shower j of bullets, carried him into protection j of the river bank. I "Quick, quick," gasped the colonel, ! "take the command to Major Andrews, !of the —th. Tell him I'm dead, dead, and hurry, hurry." Bender waited not a moment, bat dashed away down the left flank. The —th was the next regiment, but as the line was deployed the now raukiug Commander, Major Andrews, was nearly a mile away. Swiftly ran the messenger along the bed of the river, j crossing an open space every now and then. Thrice he was wotinclefi, hn he did not stop. ]n a few minntes Major Andrews ha 1 the command and learned the news of the death of the officers. When Be ider started to speak to the Major hif voice faltered at first and he conld hn dly speak. He pulled himself to gei lier, however, and delivered his mi :<sage. The Major looked at Bender, criti cally, for a momont and then said: "What's yonr name?" "Bender, sir." "Well, Bender, you remain with this command and report to me im mediately after hostilities cease to night." Then Major Andrews led the brigade in the charge, and for the next two hours carnage reigned supreme. Bender had taken a rifle and joined a company of the —th, advancing and fighting with all the vim of a seasoned warrior. His company was abreast of one of the block houses on San Juan Hill. As they rushed np and charged the house they were met with a with ering fire, but they never faltered. When within twenty paces a company of Spaniards emerged from behind the house and the next moment Bender was in the midst of a terrific hand to hand fight. Slash! Bender hoard the swish of a ma chete close to his face and jumping back found himself facing a burly Spaniard, who was already making ready for another swing. "The red machete!" yelled Bender, catching sight of the weapon in the Spaniard's hand. He managed to parry the first blow or two, but was no match for his op ponent, and a moment later was stretched out on the hill, thrust through the abdomen, cut in the shoulder and in the thigh. But Bender was not dead. When ho recovered consciousness a short time later the hill was in possession of the Americans and the tiring had ceased temporarily. He called to ono of his comrades and asked that Major Andrews be sent for. In a few minutes the Major ar rived. "You know me, don't you?" said Bonder, weakly. "Yes," replied the Major, harshly; I do. "What do you want?" "Major, 1 just wanted to tell you, seeing that 1 am done for, that I was not to blame for that Hunk in the Black Hills. I'm no coward, even if my shoulder straps were ripped oil for cowardice in face of the enemy. "I told you then I'd prove it if I ever had a chance. And I had tho chauco to-day. I love the old flag, Major, and I'd light for it any time, but 1 can't do it aguiu. Won't you take back what you said about me, Major? I am no coward and Kitty never believed 1 was." At mention of Kitty the Major's eyes tilled with tears and his lips trembled with emotion. "Lieutenant," he said at last, "for give me if I have wronged you. No, you can't be a coward or you would uot have sought a soldier's death." A glad light beamed in Bender's eyes as the Major bent over, clasped his hand and smoothed his forehead affectionately. "And, and, Kitty," whispered Bender faintly. "Is slio happy?" "Yes, Lieutenant; 1 think so." Tears were streaming from the Major's eyes now. "And you will soon be with her." "Dead?" "Yes." The burial squad was a much be fogged lot of men when given orders that night to bury Private Bender with honors ol' an officer. Nor could they understand it all when a rude head-board was set over the grave and lettered as follows: t Lieutenant J. C. Bender, 1 \ Co. I, 10th Infantry, U. S. A., ; Died in action, I : July 1, 18118, : ; A gallant soldier. I A* to Cuddies. Some time ago a newspaper slated that Mr. A. J. Balfour, M. P., had been presented by a certaiu institu tion in Scotland with a pail* of "silver mounted caddies," and was promptly made the butt of its witty contempo raries, who explained that "club" only could be "silver mounted," and that "caddies" were men, who at tended at golf links to act as gentlo meu's "gillies" or flunkeys. The newspaper's blunder, however, was very easy to correct, and probably its contemp -varies knew little more about "caddies" than it did itsi-lf. The term "caddies," or "cadics," or "cawdies," is akin to "cad" and "cadet," and masuis messengers or unattached male servants. Caddies, iu fact, were orig inally a class of men, found iu every Scottish town of any size, who wore at the beck and call of everybody who wanted an odd job done. Hence they were at the beck and call of everybody who was starting for a game of golf, and now, thanks to the organization of labor, they are employed solely by the golfer.—London Gem. "Conir/ntulutiomi.** It was a letter ia answer to the an nouncement of the engagement of a young niftn, and sent to the girl to whom he had previously been en gaged. For some reason she was not exactly pleased at this attention on his part, and this is the letter she sent to him. Tt read: "Dear Sir: I have received the letter containing the an nouncement of your engagement to Miss IBank. As 1 do not know her I cannot congratulate you, and as I do know you I cauuot congratulate her." After that she signed her name, and with a feeling of great pleasure of a certain kind sent oil' the epistle.— Boston Becord. THE BANKERS" TRUST HOW THE SLEIGHT-OF-HAND WORK IS DONE. The of Robbing the People Through tiie Issue of Noten That Can lie Contracted at the Will of Wall Street Thereby Driviuj; Down I'rlcrs of Farmori' Products. In his annual report United States Treasurer Roberts says: "It is vitM to the cause of sound money that clamor for more government paper should find no excuse in existing conditions. The friction has been due to casting a bur den on the treasury which does not be long there. The natural avenue of relief is through the national banks." The friction to which the treasurer re fers is that which gives rise to clamor for more paper currency whenever there is a scarcity of means for the handling of crops after harvest or for the handling of greater crops of specu lative paper on Wall street. Mr. Rob erts means that whcne\ or such clamor arises the duty of dealing with it should rest on the banks and not on the government. If the demand is legitimate the banks should issue notes; if it is not legitimate neither the banks nor the government should meet it. Is this the end of wisdom on this subject? Why do not the banks meet the demand under existing law when ; it is supposed to be legitimate? Why | is it supposed to be necessary every now and then for the secretary o f the treasury or the president to stop and decide whether the demand is one that should be met and meet it if in their superior wisdom they decide that it is legitimate? Mr. Roberts proceeds im mediately to say that "the existing hanks of the United States have the right under their charters to add $345,- 020,413 to their circulation." This is more than twelve times as much as Mr. Gage offered to pour out of the treasury for the "relief of the market." Why could or would not the banks | supply 8 per cent of the amount they are already fully authorized to emit? If they had bonds to seli to the gov ernment Thy could they not have de posited the same bonds as security for additional circulation? Why could they not have afforded the relief which it is their natural duty to afford? The reason is, says the treasurer, because bonds are high and the banks can get only SOO in notes for every SIOO, face value, of the bonds they de posit as security, though they cost in the market, say, sll2. Therefore he joins other officials of the government in recommending that notes be issued to the banks to the face value of the bonds and that the tax on circulation be reduced from 1 per cent to one fourth or one-eighth of 1 per cent per annum. But by what natural or supernatural process do Mr. Roberts and the other officials arrive at the knowledge that these measures would give the banks Just the right profit to induce them to issue the notes necessary for the relief of the market? May it not be neces sary to issue notes up to the market value instead of the face value of the bonds and to abolish the tax on circu lation altogether? Why is it not nec essary to offer different inducements to the issue of notes for different locali ties? The relative profit on circula tion varies in different localities, ac cording to the prevailing rate of inter est. It is greatest, other things being equal, where the rate is lowest and least where the rate is highest. Then why not limit issues to 90 per cent of the securities in one locality, to 100 per cent in another, and to the mar ket value in another? Whoever will ponder these questions will perceive that there is no natural relation be tween the arbitrary prescriptions of law which affect profit on circulation and the issue of the latter to meet either local or general stringency. We know that under the existing prescrip tions the banks do not take out more than about two-fifths of the circulation to which they are entitled at any time, and that hey rarely, if ever, take out circulation to meet conditions of [ stringency. j Suppose congress should take the measures recommended by Mr. Roberts | and other officials; how does or can ! anyone know that the banks would j not issue clear up to the authorized i limit even if there should be no strin | gency, leaving themselves no margin , for further issues in case of real and severe stringency? They would issue j notes, as they do other business, for profit. Therefore they would be more likely, than not to issue clear to the limit when things were booming, min istering to the speculative excitement which needs to be checked by the nat ural difficulty of getting money to add the inflated speculative dealings to the ordinary volume of business. They would be likely to stimulate the un healthy excitement, as the old state banks did. and contribute to make the final crash more disastrous. HELPING "SPECULATOR FEL LOWS." | The value of Mr. Gage's kindness to , "those speculator fellows" in Wall I street is almost beyond estimate. When the adventurers and plungers haa oversold the speculative market far be yond the most reasonable estimates of the progress of prices, and when they were in the closest of corners by their own action, he came to their relief. One day lie said he would not help them: the next day lie offered $25,000.- 000 of relief and its effects were mirac ulous. The stock lists of the day following Secretary Gage's offer to buy bond? he had refused the day before to buy bonds to help 'the speculate? fellows" —showed an advance of nearly $50,- 000,000 in the prices of the leading stocks. Everything, from leather to railroads and from gas to sugar, went skyward by leaps and bounds. Sugar trust stock advanced 10 cents; To bacco went up 2 cents; Tennessee Coal and Iron shares marked 7 cents rise; Leather trust scored 3 cents; Steel trust was helped along 3 cents; the standard railroad stocks participated in the upward movement, and the stocks of the bankrupt roads —the roads which will not in ten years pay dividends on their voluminously wat- , ered stock —were chalked up from 2 to 7 cents gain. Every "short" speculator was helped out of his hole. There is no doubt tnat the reports are true which credit officers of the treasury department on the inside with heavy gains in the rise of stocks caused by the action of Sec retary Gage. There is no hint nor suspicion that he became a gainer per sonally by the "relief" to the money market. But there is no doubt that men in his department, perhaps some very close to him, shared in Wall street's boom, which he set in motion. This scandal is one of the worst that ever clouded the administration of the treasury department in many years.— Ex. REPUBLICAN CORRUPTION. An illustration of the methods used by the Republican bosses in trying to bolster up their administration was re ported by the Associated Press from Pennsylvania, in that state the Re publican majority showed an enormous falling off this year despite the most desperate efforts of the bosses and boodlers to keep it up as an "indorse ment of McKinley." In one precinct of Philadelphia the returns showed a vote of 337 for the Republican candi date and 5 for the Democratic candi date. This looked suspicious. Five men, all residents of Washington, D.C., were arrested charged with repeating, impersonating election officers, etc. All but one were in the government employment under Mr. McKinley. They had been sent to Philadelphia to help "indorse the Philippine policy." They went to Philadelphia from Washing ton Monday night. The testimony of one of the gang showed that they were in charge of a sergeant of the capitol police. They went to the house of a Republican committeeman election morning. The committeeman handed them a bunch of ballots marked and told them the ballots were to go into the box as soon as it was opened. They went to the polling place and the bal lots were put in the box in a bunch as soon as it was opened. The witness said there was about 200 of them. There were in fact 124 votes cast in the princinct. The clerk of the hotel at which the gang of repeaters stopped testified that the bill was paid by a prominent Washington politician. The plain recital of facts such as these art, as has been done through the Associated Press, ought to arouse the indignation of the American peo ple, but there are so many who as sume to be leaders in morals and pon tics who daily condone just such of fenses and go about shouting for their party right or wrong, that even the cold facts of widespread corruption are passed over with indifference.—Ex. FROM SHERMAN TO HANNA. From the Wheeling Register: That venerable Republican. John Sherman, still continues to act the part of thorn in the administration flesh. The aged statesman stands as a sort of landmark of the days when the Republican party stood for principles, and he now serves in his feeble way upon occasion as a reminder of how far the modern G. O. P. under Hanna. McKinley and the trusts has gone astray from original Republican ideals which John Sher man and his contemporaries held in , their prime, but which that organiza- I tion has long since outgrown. Mr. Sherman finds nothing in Re- I publican "principles" today but a hit ter mockery of the past—the organi ! zation abjectly prostituted to the sel j fish purposes of an already overgrown j plutocracy that threatens the liberties j of the people, while its leaders flout that grand and pure Americanism for ; which the party in Sherman's day used j so proudly to stand. | What a wonderful change In the pol i itical history of the Republican party I i-t represented in the two figures, John Sherman and Mark Hanna! Outgrowth or Militarism. (Omalui World-Herald.j | The people of this section were given an objert lesson in militarism a few , days ago—an object lesson that should lie carefully studied and well learned. ; A soldier stationed at Fort Crook de j sorted. He was pursued by armed comrades and killed. Of course deser tion is a grave crime, but when did the j crime of desertion become punishable jby death in time of peace? Legally— jor constitutionally—this republic is | not now In a state of war. We are at peace with all the world—according to [ the administration. When, then, did it become proper to shoot down a man I who deserted from the army in time ]of profound brace? It was not so a few years ago. | Desertion lias been very common in j the United States army for many j years. The reasons are of no particu lar moment at this time. But until a short tttne ago desertion was not pun j ishable by death. The deserter was apprehended, returned to the post | from which ho dose, ted, tried by court ! martial and if declared guilty was sen tenced to imprisonment for n certain lengvli of time. That, however, was ! before the spirit of militarism became I : am) ant. For the week ending Nov 3, the trust record showed organizations ag gregating $t)3,000,000. THE BACHELOTVS COMPLAIN!. Returning home a- close of day, Who gently chide uy long dela", And by my side d<- gbts tc stay? Nobodyl Who gets for me the easy chair. Spreads out tho papers with such ears. And lays my slippers ready there? Nobody! When plunged in deep and dire distress, When anxtous cares my heart oppress, Who whispers hopes ot* happiness? Nobody! When sickness conies and sorrow twaia. And grief distracts my fevered brain, Who sympathizes with my pain? NoboJyl But I'm resolved, so lielpme fate, To change at once my singte state. At Hymen's altar T will mate Homebody! —Chicago Ti nes-lliraii*. JINCLES AND JESTS. "Ho has very decided views, hasn't he?" "Yes; they are decided by his wife."—Tit-Bits. Weary of life, she yearned lo die. Why live and with each moment .-igh? Home came her new frock—just tho stylo— Her exit is postponed awhile. Some peoples are born free, sonto achieve liberty, while some are weaker, than Great Britain, and have liberty thrust upon them.—Detroit Journal. "I'm unworthy o! your love," he softly said, As tile question to tho maid he popped, "Well, I don't doubt it," slm sotllv replied, And right there the sottliness stopped. "You say that figures don't lie. Well, permit me to flatly contradict you." "May I ask your business?" "I'm a dressmaker."—Cleveland Plain Dealer. A spinster, eighty-two years of age, was liitely married in Manchester. She said she was "determined that nobody should ever call her an old maid."-—Fun. First Watchdog—"Do you bark iu your sleep?" Second Watchdog— "No!" First Watchdog—"Too bad! Now, I do, and the family think I'm awake all night."—Puck. Short —"I wish I ha I tnouey enough to pay my debts." Long—"ls that all you want?" Short—"Certainly, Then I could go ahead and contract some new ones."—Harper's Bazar. Gentleman (to lionse agent)—" The great disadvantage is that the house is so damp." House Ageut—"Disad vantage, sir? Advantage, I call it. Iu case of tire it wouldn't be so likely to burn." Mamma (sternly)—-"Don't you leuow that tho great King Solomon said, 'Spare the rod and spoil the child?'" Bobby —"Yes, but ho didn't say that until he was growed up."-—P.ehoboth Sunday Herald. "The inmates of Sing Sing print a newspaper." "Well, is it any differ ent from any other paper?" "Yes; composed of longer sentences, and the editors are not allowed to keep any old files."—Chicago News. Author—"Yon have no idea how many stamps I use posting my manu scripts to various editors." Critic—• "Very likely. I think there ought to he excursion tickets for manuscripts at reduced rates."—Tit-Bits. The man with tho gun and tho raau wtth the hoe Have recently filled up tho stuge, as we know; But just about now, as a factor of power, The man with tho wishbone's tho man of the hour, —Chicago Record. Dr, Ends—"There is nothing seri ous the matter with Freddy, Mrs. Blakly. I think a little soap and ivnter will do him us much good as anything." Mrs. Blakly—"Yes, doc tor; an' will I give it to him before or after his meals?" "Is your father at home?" askod a caller. "What is your name, please?" inquired the little girl. "Just tell him it is his old friend, Bill." "Then I reekou he ain't at homo. I hoard him tell mamma if any bill came he wasn't at home."—Yonkers Statcs mau. The Ifnaoulilatloated I'rofeaaor, "I had.a peculiar case in court the other day," said u lawyer from a sister city. "An old Irishman named Calla han had gotten into a row with his landlord about some repairs aud re fnsed to pay his rent. The landlord was a fussy little ex-college professor, totally unversed in tho ways of the world, and ho was imprudent enough to send word that he would have the family evicted and thou called to discuss it personally. He emerged yelling murder, and said that he had first met Mrs. Callubau, who told him her husband would do him uo harm, upon tho strength of which ho had waited for his return. When Callahan came iu he promptly gave the visitor a beating. The old Irishman and his wife wore both arrested, and I ap peared for the defense. The ugly feature of the case was the alleged ef fort of tho woman to lure her caller iuto a trap,but when put on the stand she denied the landlord's story iu toto, aud swore point blank she had warned him that her husband proposed to pnueh his head. Both parties seemed perfectly sincrne in their statements and I was sonfewhat puz zled. I finally decided to cross-ex amine the ex-professor. 'Now, repeat to us,' I said, 'exactly what Mrs. Cal lahau told you in regard to her hus band.' 'She ussured me positively,' replied the landlord, 'that ho had no iutention whatever of molestiug me.' 'But she didn't say it in those words,' I insisted; 'what 1 want is her exact laugunge.' 'Well, sir,' said the wit ness, beginning to get flustered, 'she gave me to understand—' 'Oh! never mind that,' interrupted the judge, 'give us her own words.' 'Very well, sir! Very well, sir!' exclaimed tho lit tle landlord desperately. 'Sho said: "When Mike comes home ho wou't do a thing to you!"' When the judge got through laughing lie let the pris oner oil' with a reprimand."—New Orleans Times-Democrat.
Significant historical Pennsylvania newspapers